The Horror Returns - THR Presents: Stream Fiends - Ep.#51: The Stoned Age (1994)

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

This episode Brian and Nez head to coast of Southern California help out two stoner buds on a party quest to find fine chicks in the 1994 comedy THE STONED AGE. Joe and Hubbs are a pair of rockers who are on a quest for 'chicks.' This is the tale of their adventures over one night.   Join the THR Presents: Stream Fiends Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3860579827402429 Follow THR Stream Fiends on IG: @thrstreamfiends Join The Horror Returns Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns Check out everything Horror Returns at: https://thehorrorreturns.com Join The Action Returns Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/841619946357776 Follow The Action Returns on IG and Twitter: Instagram: @theactionreturns Twitter: @action_returns Hit up E Society on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/ESocietyPodcast/ Check out our ESP Spotify For Creators feed: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A E Society and Mac-Nez t-shirts Tee Public: http://tee.pub/lic/9ko9r4p5uvE X: E Society Podcast: https://x.com/esocietypod Mac Nez Podcast: https://x.com/macnezpod The Zissiou: https://x.com/TheoZissou Instagram: E Society: https://www.instagram.com/esocietypod/ Mac Nez Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/macnez/ The Zissiou: https://www.instagram.com/thezissou/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esocietypod Intro Music by Mixla Beats Productions: https://www.mixlaproduction.com  

Hey, man, check it out. Oh! Oh! Yeah, I love you, Bud Fender! Just guzzling, man, just guzzling. How's it hanging, Hubs? Here's beer. Jesus Christ, what is this horse piss? St. Helen's malted ale.

Pussy, rich boy, beer. Stuff makes me want to puke. Hey, did you guys hear about Crump's brother, man? He's got these fine chicks, man. Nah, man, you're nothing like that. What's your ratio here, man? It's like 35 to 3 out here. Inside my piece of better numbers.

Yeah, there's a butler to find Betty's in there, man. Bummer. Welcome back, everybody to a brand new episode of THR presents stream fiends. I'm your host, Brian. With me as always, it's my brother, Nez. What's up, man? Yo, what is up, everyone? We are back.

so shit I'm just talking about people were bugging me oh man this was your pick and this was a movie that I've been watching over and over so let everyone know what we're watching

1994's stoner comedy the stone age let's see Google a pair of 70s era drug befuddled buddies tries to

cash in on the abundance of women in the unbelievable at an unbelievable party I don't know if I agree with that one let me see if the IMDBS probably should have had it pulled up

unbelievable party is what got me with that one Okay, here we go. I'm d. John and Hubbs are a pair of rockers. Joe and Hubbs, sorry. Joe and hubs are a pair of rockers who are on a quest for chicks. This is a tale of their adventures over one night.

That's more like it. That's pretty much it. This star is Michael Coplo, Bradford Tatum, China Cantor, Renee Alman, Clifton Collins, Jr. He was, says he was, he's Clifton Collins Jr., but he was known at the time as Clifton Gonzalez, Gonzalez, David Grow, Michael Wiseman, Kevin Kilner, Taylor Negron, rest in peace, Richard Chame, a bunch of other people,

and this was directed and written by James Mel Conan. Who passed away? What's his name? Taylor Negron. Oh, yeah, that's right. He was the convenience store guy. What's up? Super freak.

Yeah. Nez, when was the first time you've seen the Stone Age? Well, I know it was when I was living up here. So, I got here in 96, and I think it was in this house, but that wasn't until, like, 98. Yeah, I've been trying to remember how I came across this movie, because I just discovered it one day. And once I watched it, I just kept rewatching it over and over. And I don't remember how I watched it or found it. I saw it on, like, HBO.

And when I first seen it, it was like, I probably might have missed the first 20 minutes because they were already at the house. and I was like, what is this? And what made me stop and watch it was China was it, Cantor? She was a VJ on MTV back in the day. So I always thought she was cute.

So I said, oh, she's in this? I started watching it. And then Michael Coppolo, he's been in a shit ton of movies. And he looked the same. It's this red-headed rocker guy. He was in don't tell mom the babysitter's dead he had a quick little scene and uh point break the people

under the stairs he was one of the people yeah i mean he this guy's been around i can't recognize him now the way he looks but back then with the long red hair i mean that's that's how i noticed him and i said oh those two were in this i'll give it a shot so i started watching it and i was like man this is hell of funny it was um it was it was after uh dazed and confused that was the big 70s movie um so i figured it was just another rip off i think this might have went straight to v o d not v o d um v hs back then i figured it went straight to that if it was in the theater maybe a small run i'm not really sure but i saw it they're on cable and I remember watching it and then I had to watch it again the next time it came on I just recorded it on a VHS tape and I must have played this tape to death to where when you watch a VHS tape for too long you get those tracking marks and everything in it so I was like man this movie's hell funny and there's just line after line in it and the guy that played

I might have seen him in other things I'm trying to see I never seen powder I think he was the fucking bullion powder now that he brought powder out I've never seen that movie I mean I've been wanting to see it and then I found out who made it and I'm like I yeah it's a good movie but

I haven't revisited since I found out yeah that that was his name Victor solva oh after the whole clown house thing and it's crazy that guy got to still make movies

I know with the Jeepers creepers and all that I mean I liked clown house I have it on on DVD I didn't know any of that happened until much, much later. But it's that movie somewhere in my movies. Powder, that was one I've always wanted to see, but I never seen it. And then when I found out who made it, I was like, so I don't know.

But yeah, Bradford, Tatum, Tatum, whatever, this is all. I mean, I might have seen him in other movies, but when I think of him, Hubbs, this is the only movie i think though and clifton collins junior he's that guy he's been an all-star yeah he's the all-star this movie he's been in as well as taylor

uh was it negron he's an all-star as well he's been in a ton of movies good movies small little bit part sometimes he had a good role in it but he was one of those faces i actually seen him one time um i don't know if he lived in the bay area

but uh we were driving somewhere and he was walking down the street with his dog and i looked out the window and i saw him when i was driving and i went i'm the man he looked at me and just kind of waved and smiled the guys know what i'm talking about uh rodney the great rodney daniel's movie easy money he was uh jennifer jason lee's uh husband uh when he was yelling out the window or yelling up to her in the window and he's like i'm the man i'm the man and then anthrax turned that whole thing into a song but anyway but yeah watching it over and over and then once it's just streaming and i have it on DVD but it was um it only played in this old DVD player

that i had when i bought it it was only like three bucks but there was a little um not a sticker but uh a little in insert in it saying the DVD looks scratched up but it'll play play so i was like three bucks for it doesn't play doesn't play but it played in my old tv player i try to play it uh now in in it it just won't play at all and they never put this out on blu ray well now they probably will i mean i was ready to buy one for one of those dudes that uh that just kind of print prints his own and and sells them because i want this movie in my collection. I have a feeling if I buy that, then there'll be a 4K restoration. I mean, I'll buy it again. I mean, I love this movie that much. And I mean, everybody in it was hilarious.

I mean, the one chick, uh, Laney, Renee Allman, beautiful young woman, as well as trying to canter. I mean, she, like I said, I always liked her on MTV, a little hippie girl in this. So she played that role. And some of this movie reminded me of me and my friends, especially all those dudes, all this little stoner guys that were hanging out at the party in the back around the keg. That was us.

I mean, yeah, we'd go inside for party, but, I mean, free beer and we were teenagers around the keg. We were just going to drink as much as we could. But, yeah, this movie was hell funny. I mean, I've watched it over and over, and throughout the years, people have been slowly finding it, and now that it's streaming everywhere, it's on Prime. Somebody threw it up on YouTube, so it's all on there if you guys don't have Prime. Or Tubey, if you don't mind the ads, it's on there. But, yeah, this movie's hilarious. It's just two guys, teenagers, I assumed. They were still in high school, and they were just on a Friday night. I mean, we've, maybe not all of us have been there, but I've definitely been there. We didn't have a car until much later, but, I mean, you just, having fun. You just wanted to just get drunk, get high, and score some chicks.

Oh, yeah. And that's all these guys wanted to do. That's what made this movie awesome. So they're a little too picky in this movie, the big buffalo butt chicks. Oh, see? Yeah, man. I think we talked about this. off

mic or whatever but I would have definitely found out what submarine was oh most definitely man I mean I'm an adventurous

guy and I know some of my friends are though like they just they just want they want the lady they want the supermodels

yeah and I'm like you dumb motherfuckers you guys look in the mirror you guys ain't getting no no lany you ain't getting no

no supermodels I'm just like man some of my friend I mean even now I mean I'm 50 something years old and some of my buddies are still like that

oh they ain't fine enough I mean some of these guys sound like my brother this chick is hoagley I was like there and my brother does but he's seen this movie a bunch of times

he always says that you worm he says all kinds of shit from the movies so but yeah man this movie was hell of funny I mean again

it's just a movie of two guys just two buddies having fun that's all they wanted to do because even even one of the lines in the film later

when they're hanging out with all that guys like come on man you're hanging out with your buddies we got beer and lawn ornaments to break and all that they were just

they were just there to have fun man that's what it was man if you got chicks which was rare i mean yeah you got it but if not i mean you just have fun party go to live shows and skate don't worm another guy's chicks either that was another rule we had i know i've mentioned this before we had that rule of don't yeah don't worm some other girls some guys said

one of your homies chicks if it was someone that we weren't cool with yeah we wormed them all night but like brian i wouldn't worm brian's chicks I'm sure Brian wouldn't wear mine either So I mean that that's how we were Man we were like If one of us like hey man I like that girl Cool man she's off limits for the rest of us I know some people don't live that way

But that was the code that I grew up with Like my buddy D man I love you and I miss you brother Rest in peace If he was like Oh man there's just one girl I like And then when I see her And I'm like whoa man the chick's fine

But then that was it That's D's good girl. I'm not going to say anything. I mean, there was not with Dee. It was another friend of mine. There was his one girl and I thought she was cute, but my buddy liked her. And then it turned out that she ended up liking me more than him. But I was like, you know what, that's, that's your, that's your girl. He didn't know that. I found out through another friend and then actually kind of was talking to her and she did tell me she was I was only talking to him to get to you and I'm like well that's fucked up I mean you're giving him false hope and

you're looking at me I was much younger and skinnier back in those days uh boys and girls but anyway I loved how this movie began with a little crawl once upon a time in a land called suburbia there lived a noble breed of men men who spent their lives on a never-ending quest for honor glory and fine chicks i remember my brother learned that and he was drunk one night and he kept saying it and it was funny the first few times but when you hear it over and over and over but that was it man we were we were that's how we lived our lives our lives lives in those days. That was much, much long time ago for me, everyone.

Next month, I'll be married 31 years. And I don't want to ask that. Someone, how long have you been married? Like, forever. But yeah, we're first introduced to, we don't know who he is. This fucking stoner-looking guy. I had to look up to see exactly.

what year this took place and it said 80 so obviously from from the 70s into 80 I figured it was the 70s like um dazed and confused that was what 76 when that had this happened yeah Wikipedia says it takes place over Saturday night in 1980 I mean and this guy this dude looks just like um my buddy Steve got the battle vest the Levi's and the steel toe boots no matter where we went he had those steel toe boots

man we'd go down to swimming at the lake or go to the beach he'd have his surf shorts on and no shirt and he had those fucking boots on he used to skate in those steel toe boots he didn't do tricks or nothing he just rolled around but I remember when I first saw this

I was like, fuck, that's Steve. So he's hitchhiking down the road. Then he sees one of his buddies driving down. So he stops him. And then he just starts talking to him. And this guy, I've seen him in other things. I mean, he's probably like a role like this where he didn't. He had lines, but he wasn't like one of the main characters.

But this is, we find out this guy. We don't really know his name. They just call him Crump's brother, right? Yeah, I think that's all they refer to him as Crump's brother. Let me see. Yeah, Crump's brother. That's what it says here. And, um, and the IMDB.

So that guy picked him up and then he basically told it. Well, he told him a story, but we don't hear it. But the, the guy he's talking. to what was this guy's name I just called him dreadlocks um because I know the Asian guy was Mike Dick was

that was um Christian Slater's brother in uh gleaming the cube uh damn shame what happened to him in that movie yeah let me see was he Mike New York uh

I'm clicking on Mike New York and I'm not seeing uh anything else but yeah anyway no i think mike new york was that other bigger guy what the i say no fat chicks on his sweatshirt yeah oh yeah i got sick again everyone it's weather allergy something but anyway so this guy is telling the the the guy that picked up uh crum's brother with the guy with the dreadlocks he's telling the rest of his crew about uh yeah man he told uh crone's brother told me about these chicks

that are from up north and they want to party and they're staying down by that frankie avalon's uh that frankie avalon house i got a question about that later on so they're they're kind of like what are they fine and he's like yeah man they're hell of fine so while that dreadlocks guy's telling them the story this is when we're Deuce to Clifton Gonzales Gonzales. Tack. We're introduced to him.

And I know I've seen him in a bunch of movies. I assume he was playing a white guy or white guy in this one. Yeah, I think so with the blonde curly hair. Yeah, it was a bad wig and

the zits all over his face. And he just seemed like a little sleazy guy. remind him in one of my other buddies my buddy Brian not you another guy because once that guy tells the story tack kind of gets up and starts walking off and they're like hey man where you're going and he just walks off yeah because you you get the way he is because everybody's like I ain't weren't been crumbs brothers girls no because he just walks off like um I'm I'm on that yeah let me get these chicks before anyone else but crumb we do find out crumb's brother we find

out that he just got out of jail because he thrashed some samoan guy for whatever reason i don't remember exactly why but because he got the dreadlock hey man i thought you were locked up you know i got out i just got out and that's what he told them they were going to go party with these chicks so he's telling the story but the thing one of the themes in this movie or one of the the things that are in it was their beer that they drank obviously something made up for the movie ox 45 and then tall cans probably like a like a malt liquor like uh schlitz or something i know they make these shirts man i want one but yeah they they were all jr every time they showed them even tack man he must have had pockets full of beer because majority of the movie's

walking around. He's either holding one, drinking one, or he's got him in his pockets. Yeah, he was neither babysitting one or he just had pockets full. Yeah. So, after he walks off, this is when we get the intro and we get the

great Black Sabbath with paranoid. Rest and peace, Ozzy. And, yeah, we just see Hubbs and Joe. Cursing into blue torpedo. Yeah, just bombing down. know what kind of car this is you guys know me i don't know cars but it's all painted up and

everything psychedelic stuff and whatever that symbol is on the hood that's on the back of jo's jean jacket i don't know what that what that is but other than this is probably one of my favorite black sabbath songs i love this but yeah man it's like a friday night and then whoever had a car which was rare that we had one that's one of my buddies borrowed her from their mom or their dad the old time we had a ride I mean our rides were basically our skateboards the bus and the train that was how we got around town

but when we had a car man that's when we knew we were the shit and we're really on the on the scout for chicks we got a car get in so never worked but that was just us

we were just hopeful but so yeah they're cruising around trying to figure out what they want to do for the night and Joe's kind of like, hey, man, you got a plan? And Hubs is like, of course, man, I got a plan. First we get like a shitload of tall cans,

and then we get an eight ball or quarter of Z. The fifth of jack to take the edge off, and then we spark up the thick, volacious gange bud. Their bud was like a little, basically shakeweed. Yeah, they called it skankweed. but we've had those nights man I mean I didn't mind I mean you get a little buzz but it was tough to get a buzz when you had to pass a little bit of weed you had around amongst sometimes five maybe more guys I mean you might have got a good rip

and then by that whoever got it to the end it was it was either all wet or like how these guys did it with a can later I mean that's that's old school have you ever done it with an apple once i've never tried at that i mean we've done the can and we've gone as far as using um a paper towel roll my buddy my buddy mcgavered something here man try it this way i mean it did the job

but much different times back in those days it was it was a mission to try to get some green i mean now you can just walk into a store and get it. I mean, what? Nah, you had to know someone to know some. And you had to know someone that had good shit, not this little skank weed or soccer cleat stuff you buy from somebody in the park, which I never did.

I didn't trust no one. But anyway. So that was their, that was their plan just to get all this stuff and then find some chicks. But Joe was like, he goes, you know and I were going to do that? We're just going to drive around like dumb fucks and end up at

stop and go eating Rinaldo's burritos. there's a lot of dialogue in this and we won't say because of the words the derogatory words I mean nothing racial but there's just some things

you don't to yeah when he gets mad at Joe he puts his name together with something else yeah but Joe's kind of like man I'm just tired man

I don't want to do the same shit that we always do and then they're like man come on he goes it will be all right and he goes here why don't you check our inventory and i'm sure the laws were the same back then but driving around when the car full of open alcohol containers and you're underage can't be good well i never really considered schnapps alcohol i mean it's got alcohol

in it but it's like the mildest i got the that whole big jug was like about halfway point but they got all those ox 45 cans all the dusted ones that are just open in the back i mean you get pulled over now with one can of any kind of alcoholic beverage that's it i mean big fines i mean especially in california i don't know how it is in other parts of the of the country but but they're rugged man he pulls that he goes what else we got oh we got this old a bean and potato burrito I'm like

did they just not eat it and just threw it back there and then they have they go we always got the crop and they hold up a big ass jug of Smith's peppermint shnaps

I never liked that I just if it was there should make you sick with all the sugar in it yeah it gave me a headache and it gave me um like heartburn i mean i don't know what it was i mean there's this one uh drink that i like but i can only handle a couple because i mean not that'll

fuck me up but uh damn what was it called uh medori sour uh shout out to my boy tommy he's the one here drink this you like this man those are hella good but if i drink more than two i don't know man it just gives me like like acid reflux really bad so I just I'll stick to one shnapps does the same thing yeah it's a little tasty and everything yeah but that's just nothing but sugar in that thing and I don't even know how much alcohol in it I mean I never got drunk off of it but I know one of my friends she loved it

and that was all she would drink this is back when we were 16 17 and she would just get blown out of her mind drinking that shit and then crying later when she's hung over but yeah when they pulled this out this movie I was laughing hell hard

so because yeah even in this man they go look man we got the crock and he's like well this shit makes me hork so but

he's like ah we got snaps her a little half a joint of ragweed now we got to find some chicks so they go cruising around

and they go to the back of some hot dog joint I think it was Bob's Big Wiener or something like that. They call these three girls the Buffalo, but, oh, you want to party with the Buffalo chicks? And he's like, nah, man, maybe they know where there's

some parties are. And it's just three chicks, man. I mean, they're just like the guys. They want to party and have a good time. If any of them, if I had to take my pick, I would pick the girl in the flannel shirt.

I thought she was cute Not the main one The one that was always talking I would have took the other one Because they were asking What's going on? The flannel chick I think they don't they cut her loose later

No they cut loose the girl with the The little denim coveralls They cut her Because later Where's the other one You know she was meshed up the ratio so

but they're telling them like yeah man uh guzzler's got a case of ox up at petrol park and then Joe's like what else is new and that was just all their boys

the ones they showed earlier but then Hubbs is asking well where's the party they said well there's a kangar up at Moldo's parents' house up in PV Pals Verde's and Jell's kind of like I don't want to go

party with those Pallas Verde's Queebies Baldoon played by Jake Busey Yeah that was I would say he was Probably the biggest star in this I mean

Jake's still out there doing it I mean I'm sure they're all still acting but What happened to his dad? Did he just go crazy? Wasn't he in an accident or something And he's been kind of off since then? I think he had a motorcycle accident Yeah I think since then

he's just been kind of different. Yeah, he's, I mean, I'm sure hitting his head, messed him up, but, but these girls are like, where are you guys going, let's party? And he's like, it's just going to be you guys? And he goes, yeah, we can play submarine. And the music that's going on in the background, I mean, it's a little slapsticky comedy type of thing.

a lot of zoom-ins on stuff. But when she says let's play submarine, they're like looking at her like, what the fuck? And then they're like,

actually they're running a little late. We got a, we got a haul ass. And then they're like, where you going? You know how it is? Just cruising?

So they end up taking off. And when they're driving down the road, Joe's like, what the fuck is submarine? He's like, I don't want to know, man. Hubbs's wig is

terrible I mean Joe He really had long hair So his did But Hubs's hair Reminds me Of what's his name

From Creep show What was that guy's name A guy from A guy from Uh That was That guy's he's an all-star

He's been in hell of shit Yeah. I ain't going to make me look it up. Whatever that guy's name. That's what his hair reminds me of. Holt McCone. Yeah. Sam White Moon.

Holt, man, you get the past, bro, because I love that character. Creep show, too. It was fucking awesome. But, yeah, his hair was like that. Not as long, but it was, yeah, it was just like that. in the middle and it just went straight down. Hubs also reminded me of

one of my other buddy's friends who I hated. I just wanted to beat his ass every time I saw him. He thought his hair was just like that, leather jacket, never wore a t-shirt, and he just thought he was the coolest shit. And the thing was probably which was why we all hated him.

He did get all the chicks. He was a good-looking guy, but he had the attitude that he knew he was a good-looking guy. And that's how. Why do you can't hang out with him oh i've known him forever i said to you i always told my buddy did i just want to fucking knock that fool out i mean if you're good-looking guy cool right on party but don't you don't got to be asshole about it and then look down on all of us i mean he was i think

like a year older than us and he he didn't skateboard or anything but he just thought we were just some long-haired skateboard nerds but anyway that two hubs were my be of. But as they're cruising down the road, back in these days, boys and girls, for those that don't remember, there was this little invention called eight-track tapes. And that's what these guys

are listening to. And his tape gets chewed up. And Joe was like, hey, this fucking machine ain't my tape. And it's like, so what, man, put it in another. So Joe pops in the classic Blue Easter Colt. Don't Fear the Reaper.

That was another thing I liked about this movie. The soundtrack was just fired, nothing but 70s fucking rock and roll. I mean, you kick it off with Black Sabbath. That's a fucking plus in my book. Not that big fan of a Blue Easter Colt, but this song, I mean, it seems to be the only one that they ever play on the radio. This and whatever that other hit is. I don't know how many albums they had. But, yeah, Joe loves this song, but Hubs does it.

It's a pussy song He turns out He's like, what the fuck is that? He goes, it's blue-oester cold He goes, I'm not playing that pussy shit In the blue torpedo, man, I told you It's blue-o-cote. I don't give a fuck if it's blue-o-sert-cult, man.

It's a pussy song. If it's B-O-C, man, how can it be pussy? Let me tell you something. Every band puts out at least one pussy song So they can find out who the... I won't say that word. Now, take it out, he said a derogatory word. And then he's like

Then Joe looks at it like They fuck you man And then Joe's like Fuck me And then Joe reached Or the hubs reaches over It grabs Joe in a headlock As he's driving down the road

And it goes It's a pussy song It's a pussy song say it And they're just driving all over the road Then Joe's like All right man it's a pussy song Because I told you it was a pussy song song so he ends up taking out the tape

and then they're cruising down the road and as they're cruising down the road this is what we're introduced to well we're already seen him already but it's tack he's on the side of the road underage drinker teenager standing on the sidewalk drinking his tall can of ox 45

trying to hitch a ride and they're like there he is man hawkalugi on him I mean, there's people I hate, but I'm like a disrespecter by spitting off. But Joe leads out the window and launches one and just a big juicy one right on the side of a Tack's face. Hubs is hanging out, giving him the finger.

Tack, you cack! And then Tack's like, hey, man, I got some chicks. and then Joe's like Tach's got some chubs. It's like Tach's got some chicks and he just slams on the brake and I'm sure they're not wearing sea bolts so he throws it in reverse and then say hey man why'd you spit at me

and then Joe or Hubs is like yeah why'd you spit up my buddy Tack and he goes because you told me to so he tells him like hey man Hubs give me a ride down to the beach man there's some chicks down there that want to party and he's like what kind of what kind chicks and Joe's like what they got big buffalo butts he goes no man these chicks are fine

and he goes yeah man just take me down there so they're kind of like uh hubs at joe are just trying to figure out like what are we going to do because they don't want to go out because we see tack he's got like pimples all over his face and he's picking his nose yeah and joe's like what kind of chicks want to talk to talk to tack and he goes I don't know man they must really want pretty bad so he's down like hey man we'll tell you something he goes we'll give you this this uh sack of earl sped's bud or whatever the hell he said for the chicks and it's that little dab of weed that's in a sandwich bag and he looks at he goes this fucking skank weed throws it at him and they go all right man he goes here well you know what here we'll give you this

this entire bottle of Snapster I liked every time they brought that yeah every time he brought that up ding and he's like

he won't give you this if he tell us where the chicks are and he's like nah that shit makes me hork this part I mean it's funny

and it sounds just like my brother he would say some shit like this he goes man this shit will get six fat chick fat chicks

all Williams holding style fucked up tack was thinking about it it. He went, oh, and he's like, no, fuck that. He goes, just, I'll tell you where the chicks are, just give me a ride down

there. So they're like, all right, just get in. So, and his nasty asses in the back eating that old burrito that there was all. They do a good job of showing you how nasty tack is. Yeah.

So they, he tells them where the chicks are. They're down at the Torrance Beach by the old Frankie Avalon house. so the hubs is kind of like you know what if we're going to get us down there i'm going to need gas money and then uh jo's kind of like hey man we do have a half a tank and hubs is like no man you and me have half a tank it tack ain't got shit and he goes so give up the money and then he goes i only got six bucks and he goes well give it up he goes no man fuck you that's beer money

for the whole weekend right there depending on what you're drinking For those of you that didn't live in the city, there was liquor stores. There was these tall cans. I want to say they were called. No black label was a different one. I can't remember exactly the name of the beer, but it was two, two tall cans for 99 cents.

And those were for those nights where we just did not give a fuck and we needed beer. but man that shit tastes nasty did it do the job yeah to drink a few of them but it did if you're young don't don't drink and don't drink and drive first of all and wait till you're 21

and don't drink nasty shit that we drink you ever try to drink some of that shit now oh hell no I tried to drink um my friend she had turned 40 40 years old and everybody just brought her 40s old e bud the bull and whatever else

try to drink that shit now you just be questioning your whole youth i was like bud i don't know that was never a bud wise a drinker the bull did i drink it yeah i did but those are like that was all we had but old english did we drink that we were young and stupid but I took a sip

I opened one up she had like at least 20 30 bottles of it 40s on the table everyone came in and brought and the majority of it was all old English so I was like

she goes here drink one I cracked it open of course old school dump some out for the homies I took a drink dude ah shit you not dude I spit that shit out I went up I was like, how the fuck did we drink this? And why did we think it was so cool to drink old English?

And they still sell that shit today. But, oh, no, yeah, you can question yourself after drinking that shit. But how much did we drink back in those days? I couldn't tell you. It was a lot. And, you know, after the last time we were talking about, about Mad Dog and stuff like that. Yeah. I've been seeing like YouTube ads

for Mad Dog. The MD 2020. Yeah. That shit's nasty too. I mean, but back when we didn't know any better, I mean, that was the majority of the stuff that was

being sold in those stores in our neighborhood. Yeah, all that shit was nasty. Fucking Cisco, Al-Azay. Oh, Cisco I'm drinking coughs or Any of that cheap Wine cheap beer

Like I said man That was a fucking fucking I cannot remember Magna was a Magnum I think it was Magnum Two for 99 cents Dang gonna make me look this up Let me see Beer two for 99 cents

those were the different those are different times the boys and girls back in the day oh man oh shit two for 99 let me see if that pops up there it is oh there's a can too do they still sell this looks like they do oh my gosh I'm sure two for 99 I'm sure it's popular

the can I see how the can used to look but then looks like they did some reimagining to the can Magnum Premium malt liquor you're better than that boys and girls

don't drink that shit at all don't stay away from the malt liquor any malt liquor it is no no so and that's all the I'm sure that's all

ox 44 ox 45 was so but again early 1980 six bucks like I said

two for 99 cents you mean you do the math you can get towed down who with is that 12 12 kids that's a

fucking 12 pack right there but so he ends up giving them the money for the gas money you bogarts man so they end up pulling up to some gas station where uh their buddy crump works just some dude and they starts telling him like yeah man what do you guys up to and he's like oh man he starts telling him about yeah man my brother's got these fine chicks man we're gonna we're gonna go party with them and they're like oh yeah where and they're like oh down you know down by that old frankie avalan's house And they're kind of like, oh, that's cool.

And he goes, but sorry, bro, man, it's a closed party. There's only two of them. So they're like, oh, okay. And then, uh, hubs is kind of like, no, Joe's kind of like, damn, those are the chicks that, uh, tackers talking about. And then they go, they're Crum's brothers, uh, chicks. And they're like, man, I don't want to wear him his chicks. And Hubs is kind of like, dude, we heard her from Tack as far as aren't. We're concerned, they're tax chicks.

And he goes, but I don't want to, Joe, like, I don't want to be no worm, man. And he goes, I don't want to have to deal with Crub's brother. And he's like, he goes, we're dealing with tax, man. Don't worry about it. I can kick tax ass. So they're kind of like, all right. So Hubs comes up with a little, quick little idea saying, yeah, man, well, that's too bad. And he goes, some chick named Desiree Gibson, she's going to be doing, doing amateur night down at,

was it dirty dugs yeah yes and crumb was like oh no shit and he goes my brother my brother had a thing for her

and so he's kind of like you know what and he goes yeah well hubs is like well you guys are gonna be you be busy

and crumb was like no man don't be cold blood man and he goes well what's happening he goes oh they're gonna have

the amateur night and party with all the chicks after and crubs like hey you think you get me and my brother in he's like

yeah Yeah, I could do that. He goes, all right, man, cool. He goes, but you got to be there by 11. They're like, okay, cool, man. All right, we owe you. So this is when Joe's kind of like, I don't want to be in a worm, man.

So Hubs is kind of like, ah, fuck it, man, we'll do it. So Joe starts pumping in the gas. Oh, they had six bucks. They got $5 worth of gas, which probably fill your tank up back in those days. And a dollar, I guess cigarettes were a dollar.

I do remember a pack of Marlboro Reds was $1.50. Was that 80? It might have been a little mid-80s, little later. Who knows? Maybe it was a dollar in 1980. But shit, man, I wasn't went to some store. And I just kind of looked at the cigarette. I used to smoke.

I don't smoke anymore. But I was looking at packs of cigarettes. They're fucking like $12. I'm like, I was talking. talking the lady. I said, for a pack of cigarettes? She goes, you don't, you, you don't, you don't, you can't believe how many people come in here and buy, pay that. That's what I was telling somebody. I was like, you need to quit smoking just off of that

principle alone. Because you get in what, two, three, maybe four packs a week at $12? I remember when a carton was like 12 bucks. Oh, carton is like, over a hundred dollars for a carton of cigarettes yeah depending on what brand you're getting oh carton of cigarettes price a carton of cigarettes in the u.s typically cost 60 to over a 100. Yeah, depending on brand. God dang.

I quit smoking sometime in the 90s. But I wasn't really, I mean, I smoked, but I wasn't like, I can make a pack last, like, weeks. I'll have maybe one, two cigarettes a day, but not every day. I can go a few days and then hit it again. but hell no and I mean I see these full we have a smoke shop down the street at the at the casino and uh and that they sell them at the mini mart on the Reds

and I see people leaving there with sometimes two three cartons a cigarettes I mean that's crazy I mean I ain't the one good thing I don't smoke and if those you do that smoke man quit quit that shit Yeah, if you're buying cartons At a time, then it's time to quit I remember my buddy, man

He bought a pack of cigarettes. He smoked camels And he would just hose those things down We'd just be sitting there bullshit on the steps And he Soon as one was done That last drag of it He'd light up another one with it You ever see somebody that smokes and shoes

Oh yeah, that was my um My buddy's on uncle man he was hardcore cigar and big old fucking plug in his mouth i don't like that doesn't give you enough you need to have a cigar too oh man you know you don't know what you're missing i said i'm good man i like uh last time i had a cigar man was passed out i mean i got so dizzy i mean you're not supposed to inhale it but i don't know what happened i was like oh i was spinning i was spinning more than drinking I said, I'm good.

I don't need none of this shit. So, but bottom line, boys and girls, if you smoke, quit. And if you don't smoke, don't start. It's bad and expensive. Well, now in 2025, I just finding out how much cartons cost. Crazy. And that's your health moment for here at the health returns. But anyway, so the guy, like, yeah, man, you get the gas.

And then they start pumping in the gas. and then tack still yeah dude he's been nursing this beer for I don't know how long he's been with them and that was the beer that he was holding when they picked him up on the side of the road so Jehubbs is like hey man

he goes if I'm gonna drive your ass all the way down to the beach man I'm gonna need you to clean the windows and tag is like hey man I paid for the gas and he goes man come on he goes I need to see so he's like all right so he gets out and he goes to get the

the little windshield washer thing which is way over by the register is where the front door is to the garage I don't understand why it would be way over there I said that too but especially now

in the city not where I'm at now they do have them way over close to the building because homeless people would steal them and then So, because I was like, why is it? Because I fucking wash my windows and I'm looking around for it. And they go, oh, it's over here.

And I said, why is it over here? Man, you know, almost got steeled. Oh, okay. So, yeah, he walks away over there to go get it. And then Hubs is like, come on, bro, let's go. And then they jump in the car and they start hauling ass. Crump runs a long way and jumps on. He's hanging on to the window.

I was like, dude, he goes, let me in. and Joe's like sorry dude and the attack's like hey man don't be no worm man and then Hubbs is like come on get him and then Joe just won't so Hubbs leans over

and whosh clocks a tack in the face and then he goes rolling down fucks up his vest yeah man his down vest busts open and feathers go everywhere and then tag goes fuck you you fucking worms

and then they go driving off and then Joe's all man it's fucked up man we're worming the tax chicks and then Hubbs is kind of like man don't worry about man he goes to be all right and he goes yeah man that shit wasn't cool

though we're warming his chicks and hubs I get it man I feel for Joe I would probably be that guy too like oh man that's fucked up why we do that to someone we probably consider a friend but we all had that one guy that we all

talked shit about but we were still cool with him so he was kind of like man he's like man he goes don't worry about that man he'd do the same shit to you and Joe's just kind of like that's not cool man

and then Hubbs was like fuck yeah man goes we got some chicks we're gonna fuck him doggy style there's shit in their peers but I was like I don't know why don't want to party that hard. But they end up getting to the house

to where they're at. They go, oh, there's your old Frankie Avalon house. I assume this house was just where Frankie, for those you don't know, Frankie Avalon, he was big back in the 50s and 60s. He was a singer and an actor and everything.

I got to do back to the beach one time. Oh, Peewee was in that. Well, he was only at the end. Rest of peace. Speaking of Pee-wee, did you watch that documentary on Paul Rubens? No, not yet. Oh. The first half is cool, but that was a lot of that stuff I didn't know, but the peewee stuff, man.

Oh, heartbreaking, heartbreaking, man. But he kept to his own. He didn't want people to know how sick he was. Anyway, rest in peace, Pee-wee. So they're looking in the house. and well they go there's a Frankie Avalon house and they look at well where's the car

where's the other house I don't hear no partying and they go look and they go something's going on over there they look up in the window and they see a silhouette of some girl changing and they're kind of like whoa so they walk over to the house and they go knock on the door and

what is her name Lainey yeah she answers the door she got cowboy boots on cut off Daisy Dukes and a little cut up shirt beautiful young woman

long blonde hair red red lips and the music that they're playing I don't know the I don't know the song but it's just some rocking song playing as a camera starts at her feet and then goes up and then she's looking at them like who the fuck are you

he goes oh I'm hubs and this is my buddy Joe and then Joe's just uh we heard you heard you want a party and she goes yeah where'd you hear that from and they're like tack and she's like who's that no just just some guy we know so he's kind of yeah man he goes uh so you're ready to party and she's kind of like well what do you guys got and then she starts running down this list you got any coke no you got any crank no you got any ludes and they're like no and she goes well what kind of party is this going to be he goes it's all good man we got alcohol

and she's like what that anti-green screen any green springs and he goes he goes no we got the we got the snapster he holds up that big old bottle what is it say 3785 milliliters 128

128 full ounces that's a lot Smith's that's a real story isn't it I think so Yeah. Again, you're better than that, everyone. Don't drink that shit.

Peppermint, too. Yeah, it's like drinking cough syrup. It does clear your sinuses, though. But if you have to, if you're curious, just take a sip, man. Don't drink a full glass or mix it with something. Because he might be dumping sugar down your throat. Yeah, what he's showing? those the bottle

and she's like bitching and he goes well you don't dig snapsteria she was yeah like when I was in eighth grade and he goes what do you drink these days and she wants 151

oh oh but when you're a teenager back in those days anything would do at this point but 151 dude that's bucardi that's just

brutal yeah and the bottle they get that's enough well they were all sharing it but she tells them she goes yeah that stuff gets me crazy if you know what I mean they're kind of like yeah giggling around then she goes all right guys

don't let me down so they all take off and they're like where we're going to get this and he goes I don't know man he goes but we got to get it fast because every swinging dicks can be on that house so we're back to tack he's at a pay phone and he calls his buddy snotrag his name is hanky but just some little nerdy kid with a badass car again i don't know cars but that car's tough that was like full american muscle he's like come on man give me right down at the beach and that

hanky's on the phone no man i'm watching my favorite show he's watching the dukes of hazard he goes oh we you watch duke's a hazard he goes oh we you watch duke's a hazard visit or get laid and he's like no man don't come over here and then that tack is kind of like no man now you piss me off i'm coming over so he starts walking down the road uh hubs and joe pull up to liquor world and then as they're going in they're like oh man shit there's that simone guy that crumb's brother fucked up and we see the simone guy walking out of the store with crutches he's got a cast over his leg and a bandage over his head yeah and And looking he broke his nose.

I want to know what this guy did. Well, Crump's brother seemed like one of those guys. You just look at him sideways and fight. So we see that guy. He's all beat up. And they're like, fuck, man, what are we going to do? And he's going to go, well, let's go in here and just see what happens. So they go into the store.

And this is when, what was this guy's name? I don't remember, do you? I have to look it up again. It is Taylor Negren. Yeah. He didn't have a name. He was just the clerk. Convenient store guy.

They walk in there and he's listening to who's seen the Burn Baby Burn song. I don't want to look it up, but you guys know the song. And this guy's straight stuck in the 70s. Again, it's 80s, so pretty much 79. got the open shirt he got the gold he got the long feathered hair

and the glasses on and the hairy chest and he's in there just dancing up a storm they walk over to the to the liquor and they're like here man go he goes no man

that guy's gonna card me he goes what the fool this guy don't give a fuck man he just guy makes 250 an hour do you think he's gonna give his shit and he's like all right man so he just goes over there

and he walks up with it and he sets it down see this guy was cool he was ready to sell it to him because he's like oh 151 you gotta party with the foxes tonight he goes that

you know how it is bro because he's telling him like do a do a little Eddie green springs what is that do you know I don't know but he's saying all kinds put a little

insanity on your potato let me look it up any green springs it's it looks like wine if it's something cheap you can buy at a liquor store

serve cold nah I'm good I want to try that shit but he's telling it goes yeah it's all special and the sexies love it he's like nah man that's all right so

yeah he starts telling me goes Put a little insanity on your potato. He goes, get them. You want to get them in the mood? You got to make a move. Shake it, man. And he's dancing around.

Then Joe starts dancing with him. Well, not, like, right. Joe's on the other side of the counter. And this guy's doing all that. What the fuck you do it? He goes, oh, I'm just cool, man. As they're standing there, the police walk in, two police officers.

And then the guy behind the counter, I get it, man. You want to get busted here? He goes, I need to see some ID. He, like, totally gets out of the cool character. He was in, I need some ID. And that's cool, man, I'm 25. He goes, oh, he must have left it to your ID and your sports.

Sports codes, yeah. And then he looks over, he kind of nods his head at the cops, and then they look over at him. How come they didn't notice him when they walked in? I mean, that loud bell went off, but Joe and Hubs look over there, go, fuck. And they're like, hey, man, thanks anyway, man. So they start walking out. and this is one of those cops that knows everyone

there was a couple well there were the bart police they knew who we were because we were always skating down the bart station they knew it was by name because I always chased us away but he starts walking out and the officers like Michael Hubbs and he hubs puts his hands behind his head and he grabs him and he goes yo red

and then they stop him and he goes you two minors wouldn't be trying to purchase alcoholic beverages, would you? He's like, no, man, you know what's better than that. But then he starts going into, he goes, look, man, he goes, when I was your age, he goes, I'd like

to drink a little beer too. Thanks to call me Dixie Cup Dean. That was his name, Officer Dean. Like Joe's like, cool. Yeah. But then he starts to go, we're still looking for the punks that knock off to knocked off the liquor warehouse.

Do you know anything about that? And then Joe's like, nah, we don't know nothing about it. And he was stolen ox 45. And Hub just hits him. And then Hubbs is like, man, you're harassing us because we have long hair. And he goes, he just tells him like,

look, man, you guys just be cool out there. So they end up leaving. Like when he turns the other officer, he goes, all right, you go grab the Twinkies. I'll get the chocolate milk. so uh joe was kind of like fuck well man what are we gonna do now and hubs is like well you can go home and spank the monkey with your old grandpappy i'm getting laid i'm getting laid he pulls out that big old uh 151 out of his pants and that's a big ass bottle too i mean that's a lot

i mean if you if you drink that don't drink it straight man do you drink that shit straight your hardcore mix it with something. I've known people that used to drink a bottle to themselves. Hell no. Even, I, I'm not a hard alcohol drinker, first of all. Did I try some? Yes, man, I was young and stupid,

of course, but I don't know, man. I don't like hard alcohol, period. No matter what it is. I don't care if it's, something that aged a billion years and I don't get it when people go oh man it tastes so smooth and it tastes good that

alcohol to me all tastes the same that's me you guys may have a different taste palette but nah I'm good just give me a good beer not no malt liquor but something good we're spoiled now with all the good beers we got out there but if I gotta go low good bottle of medello is good for me

but anyway so tat gets to uh hanky's house and he's like come on dude let's go let's go party and hanky's like no man well first he goes come on snot rag let's go and hanky's like don't call me that oh i'm sorry hanky come on and then uh hanky mrs hanky comes to the door and then she's like oh what are you doing he goes yeah we just want to go out and goes hey mrs oh he calls her snot rag as well mrs snot rag and she like looks at him oh me and he goes i mean mrs hanky he goes oh we just I want to hang out with Norman.

We go hang out with some friends. And she's like, oh, that sounds like fun. And he's like, no, I'm watching my favorite TV show. And she goes,

no, you should get out some more. So she gives them a kiss. And then she tells him here. Fun boys. Don't eat too many hot dogs. Hot dogs sound good. It's late,

everyone. I shouldn't eat and go to bed. But anyway. So they get in Hanky's truck or his car. and it's called Monster and he's like just be careful with it man I've been working on it all summer

and then Jack's like oh man don't worry as he slams the last of his Ox 45 and throws it out the window then kicks that car in the reverse what is this a Camaro is that what it is

I think so he backs up crash runs over I assume Hanky's sister's bike and then just it tears off down the road back at the house across street from the old Frankie Avon place

the hubs and Joe get back there they knock on the door but this time another girl answers the door China China Cantor her name is Jill they look at her like she is the ugliest girl that could have answered the door I mean the music that guitar

nah there and there then as the camera goes we're going, yeah, I mean, that's cool. I mean, like said before, I've always liked China. I thought she was cute,

and she's cuter here. She don't need to be all done up with makeup. She's got that little hippie girl look. So they're like, who the fuck are you? And then she's like, oh, you guys must be looking for some, I won't say what it is.

But down there, that's like a couple houses, some SpongeBash party, down that, down the couple houses over but they're like we're looking for the girl of the long blonde hair

and then she goes Lainey and then she comes walking over what took you guys so long we just ran into a few complications and she goes I don't want to be waiting around for no high school boys and Jill's kind of like oh too bad she's about to slam

the door and then her hub sticks his foot in and goes oh that's too bad it looks like I have slam his whole bad Oscar myself and pulls out the 151 then they go into the house if you must drink it like I said

mix it with something so it looks like he mixes it up with some orange juice all right yeah I love orange juice too but that alcohol will kill kill it all I mean

they he dumps that whole bottle And I don't even think that was a full bottle of orange juice either. No, it wasn't. He duffs that whole bottle of what did they? So they're like, all right, cool. But these were those days, man. Alcohol will kill all the germs that's in anything. So while he's mixing it up,

their Joe and Hubs are looking over at Lainey. She's like changing the music. Right, okay, right quick. you got one little hot blonde and then you got some little cute the hot hippie chick obviously these two are both gonna go for the blonde don't you think these guys should have worked it out before they got back to the house or are they just gonna go both throw her down see who she goes for what'd you think

well if i'm joe i'm knowing they're already who hubs is going after So I would have won with the other one. Because Hubs has that mentality we talked about earlier. Got to always go for the hot chick or the hottest one. Yeah. Yeah, Lately's cute. Yeah, she's hot. But, yeah, I would have went more for Jill.

I mean. But me personally, I wouldn't have ever. to this house because I would have been with the Buffalo butt chicks. Yeah, and I would have been partied with them already. I wouldn't even got this far. My night would have been started way earlier. Yeah, the Martin of the night would have

been just about over. They didn't even need 151. They would have probably party with the snafter. Yeah, I would have been explaining to you what submarine was. They ate hot dogs, drank the snaf shirt, made us hork, smoked a ragweed, and got a head of We still have been partying with them.

Those are the days. Anyway, so they're power in the orange juice. Joe's still trying to throw it down on her, but she doesn't seem like she's really having it. Is this when he has his moment where he's like having a flashback to the blue oyster Coke concert? Yeah, he kind of mentions it because he's like, when that laser hit him.

He's looking at her shirt. It was like, yeah, I was at that concert. And she's, oh, yeah, I was backstage at the Oakland show. And then they're kind of like, oh, it's cool that you guys got your own pad. And then Lainey's kind of like, no, this is Jill's dad's house. And then she's like, yeah, so you guys better be leaving soon. But then Lainey's kind of like, nah, it's all good. But you could see Lainey was digging Joe, or not Joe, Hubs.

And then she's like, ah, it's all right, man, we'll stick around. We got, we got time for stuff. And Joe, Hubs is like, time for what? And then Laney's like, or Jill, Jill's getting off on Lane. Like, come on, you're being stupid. So they're kind of like, all right, whatever.

So, yeah, Joe starts telling them about the, uh, the Blue Easter cult, and he gets hit in the face with a, with a laser. And then, I don't know, I guess, must have, gave him a vision of the future or something. Yeah, changed his life. Yeah, we talk about that more later. So they're kind of like, well, he's going through this whole story.

They're like, all looking at him. And then they go, kind of reminds me a Mondo man. And they're like, yeah. And then Lainey's like, hey, come here, I want to tell you something to Jill so they get up. And Jill's like, oh, conference time. She gets up and then Hubbs is like, hey, you mention my name. You get a good seat. And then Joe's like, who the fuck is model, man?

And then Hubbs is like, who cares? And he keeps telling him, Joe, man, you're blowing it. Again, work it out before you try to talk to chicks. Because Joe's like, yeah, man, that chick's really digging me. and then Hubs is like, what, no, man, he goes, you're more of the other girl.

And then Joe's kind of telling him, man, she's like the queen of my dreams. And then he goes, nah, man, the other girl's for you. Then we see a lady and Jill and Jill's kind of like, yeah, hubs,

it kind of looks like Richie Blackmore, doesn't he? And they're like, yeah, I guess so. And he goes, well, what about the other guy? He seems pretty cool, huh? And Jill's like,

yeah, right. And he goes, they're probably in there going to eat all my dad's food or they're, no, pissing in the in the ice uh the ice cube tray so she's like basically like yeah can we just tell them to leave we go back to the guys and that's exactly what they're doing these guys must

be really bros because i wouldn't even do this with my best buddy in the world stand there together much left crossing swords pissing into the ice tray the same ice cube tray and and one of them's holding it so yeah they're kind of like watch it watch it you could hear them piss it into it they're just basically heads touching as they're laughing and they hear the girls coming like oh shit so then they grab it and they stick it uh in the ice box i want to know how many hours went by unless this ice box is set to like the highest and instantly freezes but we'll get back to that later so they're like all right cool so they're in the kitchen and then the girls come on what are you guys doing

we're just eating some munchies you guys can't be eating my dad's food so they're all mad and they're like what's the matter man because uh jill ends up leaving the room all mad they're like hey why she being such a rag and then lady goes ah she just needs to get laid and the hell's like that's all right joe likes them feisty and then joe's just like uh whatever someone knocks at the door and then jill goes over and it's tack and Hanky they come to the door and she's like yeah and he goes oh man

heard you guys want a party and they just walk in hey baby there's a party in here they just walk in and she's like yeah just come on in at least Hanky stood there for a minute like should I go in or should I not and she kind of like just gives them

like come on in so he comes in and And he said, Tack is all hardcore. He's like, she goes, can I get you guys anything? And he says, no, that's cool. Pulls out another fresh Ox 45 and opens that bad boy up. And he's like, is there other chicks here? Or is it just you're the, are you the only one?

And as he says that, Joe comes walking out. Hey, Tack, this is a closed party. And then Tack's like, fuck you, you fucking worm. And she's like, you know these guys? And he's like, yeah, sort of. And he's like, all right, man, I'll get rid of them. So they're like, no, man. He goes over and tries to grab tack, and then tack just like punches Joe.

And this part was hardcore. He hits the tack hits Joe like in the balls and he kind of falls over a little bit. And then tack sitting in the chair. Hey, bring on the bitches. And then in walks Hubs and Lainey. And, uh, fucking tackles. Oh, shit. I'm going to scorch my shorts as he's looking at Lainey.

And then Hubbs is like, hey, man. And he's like fucking tack. And then our tack is like, fuck you, you fucking worm. And he's like, excuse me, ladies, I got something to deal with. So he grabs tack, gets him, Hubs grabs tag, gets him in the headlock. And he's like, come on, man, we're doing pretty good before you guys got here. And they're all mad and everything. Joe's kind of like,

messing up the ratio and Hanky is just standing there like he don't want to get into this but then while Hubbs's got attacking a headlock he's like I ain't gonna forget this Connolly Conley is Joe and then Hubs like Lex go attack and then

socks him in the jaw and he goes flying over this banister and then they're like is this what you guys do he goes isn't there like any parties and then attack is like yeah there's party up at PV and they're like or keg her up at PV and they're like oh really and they're like yeah so she's like well let's go

and then i was like you don't want to go party with some that's a rich boy party and they're like they heard party so let's go so they jump in the monster and they all take off and they end up heading to the palace verdies i like how they just pull up to the to the house just slam on the brakes and park all crazy the whole tail end of the car on the wrong side of the road sticking out and Hanky's like, is it okay if we leave it like that? They're like, sorry, man, there's a valet. Oh, no, it's a party. So they all go

walking into the party and they get to the door and the girls go right in. But before the guys can walk in, Muldoon. Jimmy Muldoon. Jake Busey stops them. And they're

like, hey, Muldoon is cool. And he's like, it ain't cool, Connolly. And he's like, he goes, get out and he goes, I don't want you burn out. I was drinking

up all my beer. So they're like, hey man, because he's telling him, why don't you go party with your own kind? And he goes, and Hubs is like,

hey man, you let her chicks in. And he goes, ah, it's a lady's night. So basically just slavs the door on them and they're kind of like,

fuck. And Tack is kind of, let's go kick his rich boy ass. And then they start yelling at Tack. They go, man,

we were styling before you got there. And they're like, no it's not me it's moldoon so they're like man fuck so joe just kind of like fuck this and he just walks off and then tack and uh the hanky are standing there and then hanky's kind of like can we go now fuck this let's go oh no go i got a piss so he goes walking off we see joe and hubs they end up walking to the back of uh the backyard of the house basically just break the fence to go back there.

There was no side door. But then Hubbs is like, man, what's biting your ass? He goes, man, I'm not letting that girl get away, man. She's too fine or she's too rad. But when they get to the backyard, they're like, check it out. And they all go, or whatever the hell they were yelling. And it's all their crew, all those little stoner guys that were hanging out. The dreadlock guy, the.

The guy from gleaming the cube and a bunch of other dudes. Oh, that guy with the no fat chicks. No fat chicks, yeah. And he goes, what do you guys doing? He goes, nah, just guzzling, man, just guzzling. And whatever goes, oh, yeah, man. What's up, hubs? Here's your beer.

He gives them a beer, and they're all standing around the keg. And this is another scene that reminds me of me and my buddies, like I said. The party would be going strong inside. We'd all be out holding up the keg and just trying to do. drink as much free beer as we can. So he gives Hey, Hubbs, here's your beer. Hubs takes a drink and spits it out.

What is this? Horse piss? He goes, what is it called? St. Helen's malt ale. Pussy Rich Boy beer. Stuff makes me want to puke. So

like, and then I think the, what was his name? The Asian guy's name was Mike. Mike Dix. Yeah. he's like hey man you guys hear about crump he's got these fine chicks and hubs is like nah we can't hear nothing about that and hubs is kind of like what's the ratio here

and he goes it's like the guy with the dreads guys the guy with dreads is like it's like 35 to 3 out here he goes inside might be some better numbers and then hubs looks over oh man there's a bunch of fine betty's in there and then one girl uh blonde i thought this was uh elizabeth banks the first or one of the many times I had seen it. She kind of looks like her. She comes to the door, opens the door, blonde, long blonde hair,

a beautiful young chick with her Dixie Cup, like she was going to go out and get more beer. Why wasn't the keg inside? I don't know. For some reason, every party I went to, the keg was in the backyard. Yeah, these guys ain't allowed in the party, but they're allowed with the beer.

Yeah, and, yeah, Muldoon didn't want them drinking up all you burnouts drinking up all my beer. Got a whole crew in the back drinking up all the beer. Yeah, they're like 10 deep back there. So she comes out and they're all going, Oh, yeah. And then she just kind of like, whatever, I don't eat no beer and goes back in the house.

And they're like, yep, looks like we're back to where we started. But then we hear, hey, you guys. And they all turn around. And there's those three girls that was at the hot dog place. And the one with the overalls is like, I don't know. She was getting all geared up. He's ready.

And the one of the flannel was, I don't know, licking her lips or something. Again, these guys are picky, man. You got three chicks to want to party. You party. You ain't getting no models. I don't care who you want. That guy ain't going, definitely going for it.

The one with the no fat chicks hoodie. Well, those don't want his ass anyway. Look at him. Hey, I'm not the greatest looking guy, man. but I'm not going to rock the no fat chicks, the hoodie. So they're like kind of like, ah, fuck, man, we're back where he started from. And the guy with the dread, like,

so what's the problem, guys? Man, you're here with all your buddies. And right there, man. That was right, though, man. I mean, do we all want chicks? Of course we do, especially back then. But, I mean, Hank, you're going to remember these times, hanging out with your friends.

Or any of you younger listeners, I mean, us OGs, man. we've been there and done all that but even still i like to go hang out with my boys knocked down some beer and just hang bullshit because yeah man and a lot of this times we're talking about shit man all the shit that i lived but yeah man like i said man hanging out at some party in the back around the keg drinking all the free beer you can yeah i was a leech like that but they're kind of like nah man he goes yeah you're with all your buddies and then the no fat jigs guys gonna yeah man it's like yeah man it's like a lot of lawn ornaments

to break and then Mike Dick is like yeah and there's another and there's another keg. I ain't even tapped yet and everyone's like, oh yeah for not liking this pussy rich boy beer they're all cups are all

full. Spring. I'd rather drink that than fucking malt liquor. I'm sure this, but they're used to Ox 45 whatever that is. So Joe walks over he's looking into the party and he doesn't see he's looking for the chicks he doesn't see oh he sees uh maldune

walking off with lady and he goes into another room so joe follows kind of goes over to another room and he's looking in into the the window and he sees it's a sliding glass door he sees muldoon trying to get uh get fresh with lady but she kind of pulls back and slaps him so he takes the no for an answer and leaves but then she comes outside and she goes, what's the girl got to do to get some drugs around here? And then Joe tells her, yeah, I got some lumbo back in the blue torpedoes. She's like, oh, yeah, why'd say something? Let's go.

He's like, well, I got enough for everyone. She goes, that's all right. So she ends up just taking off. That's what she won't. But she was straight up in the beginning, straight up with them in the beginning. She wanted drugs to party. but she didn't know what they had then and I guess Joe and Hubs didn't really work it out

hey I'm gonna get her you you try to get on this one so I guess it was just back and forth to see it kind of seemed like Hubs already worked it out in his mind because he kept trying to pass Joe off on Jill but I mean yeah Joe was he was already a lot man this chick sees the queen of my dreams

so they walk outside holding hands and everything trying to get to catch a ride that was another thing they walk outside and he's holding his thumb out they're on a neighborhood they're at night it's rare that some car is going to drive by and stop and give them a ride but anyway as they're outside here come like the whole police force they come pulling up it's officer dean and uh his squad sexy cup dean yeah they pull up they open up the door and they say

hey was there a problem officer and he goes yeah got a call about underage minors drinking alcohol and then everyone's like ah I've been here too we've been at parties and the police show up and everyone starts bailing all those stoner guys are out by the keg everyone's just pouring out of the back of the house

running everywhere and they're all looking around like these guys aren't even running they're just standing around staring hubs is like he sees jill she comes out and he's like come on man we gotta go where's uh where's jo and then she's like i don't know and she goes

and he goes like where's the other girl and she goes i don't know I think she left with your friend so hubs is kind of like man fucking she lany or jill's kind of like well they're not around so hubs is like shit so come on let's go

so everyone's still trying to haul ass and get away we go back to the stoner dudes this part made me laugh to you because we fucking did this too I know this is story time everyone all these guys grabbed the keg and they start walking away with it we were partying up in the Oakland Hills

up at Butters if you do live in the Bay Area you guys know where Butters Hill was anyway we were up there partying one time keg everything fucking cop showed up and we they just crept up and then the flashlights came on everybody ran in every direction

I remember my buddies kicked over the keg and we're on a hill and that keg went rolling down the hill one side of the hill went to the street the other side rolled down a hill and I went to the freeway but there was a fence it rolled down that hill other than we were just trying to get away

and not get run over by a full keg of beer I remember me and my friend Amelia I grabbed her and we just ran down that hill Got to the freeway fence and then just took off And walked I don't know maybe a mile or so Until we got to a place where we can get to the street Next day I mean I remember we all met up at Taco Bell

And we're like who got the keg who got the keg? I said fuck it roll down the hill So that next day we were back up there and we found it And it was it was just in the bushes majority of it was gone but there was still enough in it to get a few more cups out of that I think so uh plus we had

I called up my buddy he said hey man we found that keg dude if you want it man you can have whoever take it back to the store and everything but the the little pump tap thing that shit was thrashed so I don't know how much she had to pay

to rent that thing but anyway so these guys grabbed the keg and they all go bailing out so Joe and our hubs and Jill they go taking off back at the house Joe I assume they scored a ride so Joe and Laney get the weed out of the blue torpedo and then they're like well what's up and you go let's go smoke it in that guy's jacuzzi the neighbor next door so they go back there first he's like I don't want to get busted and she goes oh don't you want to see me

in my new bikini he's like all right so we get the classic shot from the feet up, cameltoe and all. Yeah, I was about to say she had the camel toe going. Again, Lainey, beautiful young woman. She's like, takes it out, she's got in her little

pukeshell bikini. And he's like, whoa. And she goes, well, aren't you going to get in? And he's like, oh, yeah, cool. So he takes all his shit off. He's got those badass Ox 45 boxers. Pratt to drink like a

case. a beer to get those. So he gets in and then he's like, yeah, so he starts old-schooling the Ox 45 can stabbing it with his knife, making holes in it, so he can light it up.

And he's like, telling her like, yeah, man. So she sees the weed, she grabs it and looks at it. And he's like, ah, it's not the usual stuff I have. She looks at it, takes away if this fucking skank weed just throws it at him. he's like it's all right man you'll get a buzz and she's like looking at him

then all of a sudden somebody reaches down and grabs Joe and pulls him up and it's hubs and he's like oh mad he goes here you are you fucking worm and Joe's like hey hubs he's like hey man what's up and he goes dude he goes what's you doing

he goes man he's like Joe doesn't ditch hubs and if Joe doesn't like it hubs is gonna kick Joe's ass and then he's like no man we're just partying man she was all over me and then he looks over and he goes he goes he goes don't look like anything's happening going on he goes she's not even naked

so he's like Joe's like ah I'm working my way up to it or whatever and Joe's like man get out of the way so Hub starts taking all his clothes off gets down to his boxers climbs into the into the little jacuzzi that they were in they didn't even have it on

But anyway, so he gets in, she looks at him, he's like, come here, come here, come here, I'll tell you something. She gets over to him, he slams her head into the water, and then they jump over into the swimming pool. Hubs ain't scared. He just, come here, pulls her over, and they start making out. And then at this point, Joe should have realized them, all right, man, I lost. So he's looking at them while they're making out. And then Joe, I don't know what, he just gets crazy. and starts throwing all this

guy's shit into the pool. Well, he knew Hubbs was going to eventually join in. He's throwing in, uh, I don't know, one of those big old tiki looking statues. Throws it in. Then he grabs a lawn chair, throws that in.

Hubbs gets out and they're like jumping around like they're like apes or something. And they start hitting each other and then they're yelling, hooting, and hollering. They grab the table. They throw that in. Then all of a sudden, sudden some guy comes out

he was a big Mexican guy he was the door guy and uh that vampire movie um from dust till dawn at the the titty

twister he was one of those dudes he's all hippied out long hair beard and everything they're like oh shit busted so they're trying to run and uh Laney and and hubs are like fuck let's go but then they're like what about our stuff and jo's like i'll get it

so he goes back he grabs all their stuff that guy has a bat he swings it at joe misses joe kind of gives him a shoulder check and that guy falls into the water and then they go taking off they get back into the house and lane is kind of like oh what's going on or no jill was like what's going on and lane's looking over at joe like oh man that's really cool thanks so she kind of I guess she was flirting with him Not really sure But she gets the clothes from him And she goes upstairs

And then Joe follows her And she's in there I guess drying off And then Joe comes up Joe's up behind her like Hey babe what's up She goes I don't know You know I thought we had something going on out there

And she's like like what And he's got his hands all over her And then she just gets him in a headlock And like don't you fucking touch me And he's like all right all right then she slams him on the ground and puts her foot on him and yelling her don't you ever touch me again

and then Hubs and Jill come walking in and Hubs is like damn you kicked his ass and she said he wouldn't keep his hands off me and Hubs is like all right Joe so next scene we see somebody

dumping an Ox 45 out and it's Officer Dean quick dick Dean he's got their whole crew tack Mike Dick Mike York Hanky and all the rest of them they have them all sitting on the sidewalk and they took

they took the beer and he told him he's like yeah he goes he goes you don't want to drink beer and pissing somebody's pool and he he was like when I was your age he goes they used to call me

quick Dick Dean that one guy was more like limp dick and he's basically tell look I'm going to let you guys go but just stay out of trouble so they're kind of like

all right as the officers load the keg into the back of their squad car and they take off and he's like all those guys like man cops never have to pay for their beer so they're like oh man tack is kind of like hey man

Hubs and Conno here at that house with the chicks and he's telling we got to head down there and then the dreadlocks guys you're talking about Crum's brother's chicks and he's like yeah and he's like man he's gonna kick her ass and then he tells him goes

he Crump's brother ain't even around and then Mike Dick is like hey are these chicks fine and he's like hell yeah and he tells him like yeah we need is a case of Ox 45

and that chick is ours so they're kind of like yeah let's go cut scene we go over to dirty dugs and it's not a strip joint anymore it turned into a a polka dance club or something but then we hear Crump's brother go hey

and then we see accordion get slammed into the ground and then we see I don't know some guy some poker king that was doing the accordion laying there knocked out and Crum's brother standing there

with Crump and he's telling him, I swear, man. Her Desire was going to be dancing here and Crump's brother grabbed him. Who the fuck told you that? And he told him that it was Hubs and Joe. So back at the house, Hubbs is upstairs with Lainey.

About to get it on with her. And the next thing you know, he beats that up. And downstairs, Joe is just sitting there hanging out and Jill is just talking to him like, yeah, you guys need to go. and this is the issue I had the whole movie

she's get out of my house get out of my house but then later hooks up with them I don't know I don't understand women sometimes because yeah she's like just like yeah my dad's gonna be here and kick you guys out of here when my dad comes home

but then Joe's like we just got to wait wait it out so he goes upstairs and uh they're in there getting busy and he's like come on dude man this girl wants us to leave and she's like uh why does you just go and lany's standing there tits hanging out and everything so yeah what happened are we got to just wait it out yeah so he gives uh jo the snapster here man just take the edge edge off so they go back to making out Jill Joe's walking downstairs and he still sees Jill leaving so he goes chasing her back to tacking the gang they're at the liquor warehouse and they're breaking in but they have

one of those big old air vents or whatever we they have Hanky up there crawling in and they're like come on man get in there and Hanky doesn't want to do it but he's all scared and he ends up falling in so he opens up the door and he's like here he hands him a case of beer and they're like all right cool and then Tack hands it to Mike Dick and he goes hey man these aren't talls and then Tack is like

what the fuck man these aren't to get us some talls so they hand them back to him and then Hank he starts handing out cases of tall cans of ox 45 they must have left with at least five to six cases

you would think there'd be better security at this place because this ain't the first time they didn't rob this place like recently but then again I mean I'm sure they had alarms back then apparently not they got air vans the flimsy ass cover big enough for a person to walk through so yeah they're loading up the truck

with the cases of Ox 45 back at the beach Joe's trying to throw his Mac down on Jill but she ain't having it he's basically like come on hold up but she turns around kicks him in the balls and he falls to the ground like leave me alone but then she's

they kind of start having a big conversation about anything and she starts talking about yeah Laney's the type of friend that's always hooking up with guys and she just

she goes I get stuck with the sorry-ass rejects. This reminds me of two friends of mine I went to high school with. Won't say their names. I don't know if they listen to the show.

I'm still friends with them. One of my friends a hot little rocker girl. And then her friend, a little taller blonde girl, but the little rocker friend was always getting all the guys

and the other one just, I guess, got the leftovers or something. I heard this one night We're at some concert and everything So this exact conversation That Jill's happened with Joe They were my friends And nothing happened

So we just left it as friends But She's uh They're just talking And then he's kind of getting his drink on That shnafter jug was like at the halfway point And no one's been drinking it Until now

And fucking Joe was just powering it all he got pretty much most of it but then he starts talking about hubs saying that yeah is that the kind of guy you like and she's like nah but then she turns it around on joe he goes what do you like about lane he goes i don't know she got cool personality he just met her a couple hours ago and he doesn't know much about her but jill's kind of like looking at him like uh but then joe goes what's the matter with you is you jealous of her and then she just starts laughing she goes i'm not jealous what do i want a bunch of burnouts trying to pork me

so she kind of gets into it with joe a little bit he powers the rest of the snaps and then he starts uh getting visions because uh earlier when he was talking about uh that laser that hit him He said he saw this big eyeball. Takes that last swing of the snapster. He looks up at the moon, and that moon turns into an eyeball real quick. And then he kind of freaks out. So he's like, fuck. Because Jill walked off.

So he goes chasing her. He's walking along, and then he finds an empty can of Ox 45. And then here comes the rest of the gang at the house. Oh, come. All holding cases of tall kids. some of them are in like two cases yeah they're getting there and then jill she's kind of hiding in the bushes like what's going on who are they and they're like uh jill's like just some dudes and they're all pounding on the door and then jill goes walking over and starts um tack is pounding on the door she taps him

on the back and she goes what's going on and tag's like hey babe we just came back to party. And she's like, oh, she looks at it, oh, this is my buddy Mike Dick and Mike York. I think Mike York is the guy with the no fat chicks shirt. And then so she's like,

tax's like, hey, where's the other girl? And they're just like looking at them. And then she kind of goes, what is this? The meeting of the gifted minors or whatever she said. And then they're looking around. The guys are looking at each other.

And Mike Dix, like, we got alcohol. And everyone's like, yeah. So, and Mike York, he looks as like, hey, man. Earlier, they said Lainey looked like the chick from the Virgin Killers album. Virgin Killers album was Scorpions was the band. And that was the name of that album. I guess there was some kind of controversy back in those days with the girl on the album. whatever and they had to change it anyway you do the research on that but anyway

they're looking at her and then mike york is like she don't look like the girl from the virgin killers album and then mike dick looks at her and he's looking at her like with the scrunched up nor is the scrunched up nose he's like he's like man this one's hoagely and they're all like ah and then tag's kind of like nah man the other chick's the fine one and they're like yeah and then Tacks is like where's your friend and then here comes Joe

he just kind of Bogarts through all everybody and then Tack is like hey man I've been looking for you worm so Joe starts yelling at Tack he's like man why you gotta be such a dick

and he goes man he goes I'm never gonna forget this but then this was fucked up the Tacks like hey man you could have the yonker we want the other one again china canter

I don't know how old she is now cute little hippie girl I don't know what these guys want but Joe's like because with the tag goes yeah you could have the oinker Joe's kind of like no man she's pretty fine and then

the tag is like oh not even and all the rest of the guys are grunting around this chick's a fucking fat ass and then Joe's like come on man i wouldn't kick her out of bed but then she like looks at him at joe like with that thanks look and then she goes into the house so uh joe started yelling at them he's like man you think chicks are just gonna get naked because you show up with some ox 45 and everyone's like what and then mike mike dick looks at it looks at him but these are talls and then they're like

they all grabbed joe and they kind of beat him up a little bit but then Joe kind of knocks a couple of those guys over and then he flips Tack over and he's yelling and starts yelling at him like man why you gotta be such a dick and Tag is like

fuck you man I'm trying to get laid just like everyone else and he's yelling at why are he going to be such a dick and this is when it kind of got a little sad because Tacks laying out his back He goes, man, fine chicks don't even want to talk to me.

They all think I'm gross. He goes, do you think any fine chicks want to talk to a crater face like me? And Joe's kind of like, it's all good, man. Your face is going to clear up in a little while. And he goes, what am I supposed to do, wait around? And he goes, I want chicks. And then Joe's like, maybe you can meet a chick with an acne problem too. he's like fuck you man

I don't want no chig with zits I want fine chicks oh man again hey we're not all super models but you got to look over sometimes I'm sure girls have just settled with me but like I said

I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world but anyway so we had that little that little moment with Tack but he's like fuck that i don't want to find chicks and then joe jumps up and all those guys like fuck you worm he goes running into the house jill lets him in but uh tack launches a full can of ox 45 and hits him in the back of the head and tax like you gotta come outside sometime worm so he's laid it he got nailed pretty good in the head and that shit hurts i've got hit

in the head with a can of beer full can of beer looks like he got it right to the face because he's got a big old knot on his head so she's kind of like all right man she goes what are we going to do well we just got to wait it out until they all leave so Jill is sitting there reading her book

and she turns and Joe oh you're not going to throw me out of bed and he's like oh no you know I was just saying that so he's power in his Ox 45 and then they hear Hubs and Lainey beating it he was beating it up upstairs

and then they finally get to smoke in this weed that he had in that little bag forever so he makes up another dented up the can cuts it so Joe and Jill start lighten up

so they're sitting there talking and oh fuck what does Jill do I can't remember because they're just talking about bullshit and really moves oh she gets up and goes I think she goes to the bathroom and then Joe

was sitting there and all of a sudden we hit rumbling around in his stomach camera goes all warpy goes up to his face and he's like getting ready to throw up and I assume the booze is kicking it because yeah his vision is

starting to get all crazy so he like stands up like the booze just kicked in and he's like running over oh he runs to the bathroom that's where jill is he's getting ready to throw up and then she goes i'm in here he tries to go run out he opens the front door and then all those guys are there and they start throwing empty beer cans at him they killed a lot of beers in a short amount of time yeah yeah why did he

just throw open the sink like he was about to but then it was full of dishes and then he looks out the window and all those rest of the stoner guys are in the backyard and they're throwing cans at the window and then he goes running into the living room and he walks over to one of the little recliners and then just lifts up the cushion and throws up look like pea soup all into the chair and then he just covers it takes a swig of the ox swishes it around and then just sits down like nothing happened but then he kind of passes out and this is when he has his no he didn't have his little vision yet he just he passed out but then when he wakes up

Jill is next to him and they just kind of have a little conversation and he's kind of like all right whatever and then while they're talking hubs kind of like hey Joe come here come up here so he's like all right he goes up there and he hubs is telling Joe goes hey man I was talking eleni and I told him it was your birthday and you were sad because of something I can't remember exactly well because his dad passed or something like that

and he goes and she agrees that she'll give you a blowjob so he's like he goes yeah man just get in there so Joe walks in this is when he has his flashback yeah he sees lady laying there naked on the bed

and he's just standing there staring at her and yeah then he has his blue oyster cult flashback live performance him and hubs are at the concert and they're rocking out to don't fear the reaper and yeah this is when we see that the laser hits joe in the face and then he just gets all zoned out and then he has his 2001 space odyssey flashback he pulls up like at a softball field or something and he looks over and he sees his older self sitting at a table eating a burrito

and drinking an ox 45 then that guy looks over and sees an older, much older version of himself sitting in a bed with an ox 45 drip going into him.

They didn't do a good job on his effects to make him look old. He's laying in a bed and he looks up in the sky and they get that 2001 Space Odyssey sound going and he goes up and he looks up in the sky and there's a big eyeball up there

and then we see Joe floating there in a bubble and he's dressed up like a baby breaking a baby bottle of ox 45 yeah if you guys have seen 2001 it's just like that ending which I still don't understand to this day amazing film but I do did not get to the ending at all. So yeah, he's sitting there drinking and having his flashback and then he's still standing there looking at Lainey. He just covers her and then he goes back downstairs. But he's at the top of the stairs.

He's looking down and he sees hubs on top of Jill. He's making out with her. He's looking down. She kind of looks up and sees him and gives him that like shrug look. and Joe Joe's like Fuck me So he walks down the stairs He sits down on the couch

While they're still making out And he's just Looking at him And then hubs like Oh hey Joe What's happening Oh man She was all over me

But she didn't seem to care either Man She was actually pulled Hubs down for more So They hear something outside and then Joe walks over to the window and he looks outside

and Crump and his brother show up and he's like What are you guys doing here And the attack is like hey man Hubs in the Joe are in the house So Joe's like Oh shit man Crum's brother's here

So they're like fuck So they all of a sudden They start pounding on the door Or her Crum's brothers pounding on the door And then Jill's like Who is he? He goes oh

some guy and he goes he's here for his chicks and they're like what and he goes well she goes who she didn't even know who crumb's brother was because i've never seen this guy before my life he goes well he's seen you and so technically you're his and then he's like just kicking the door hell of hard with his steel-toed boots he ends up kicking a hole to bottom and then he just he starts yelling hey worms give me my chicks he kicks open the kicks the door hole in then he punches or no he boots in another hole and sticks his head in, give me,

you fucking worms, give me my chicks. So he tries to open up the door and Hubs is swinging a fire poker at him. But then Crum's brother grabs Hubs in a headlock and pulls him close to the door. And then Joe hits Crum's brother's arm with that little shovel

to get the ashes out of the fireplace and he lets go. And they go running into the kitchen and they're like, fuck man. But then Joe's kind of Joe's sitting there Jill's like oh fuck what are we going to do and then the Hubs

is kind of yeah man it was a good night and then he looks over at Joe like well did you do something and Joe's kind of like uh but then Hubs realized that Joe didn't go for it so it's like it's not like that man so they hear something else

I think that's why she was making out with Hubs because I think she assumed he was doing something with Laney yeah I guess well who knows how long he was up there he was standing there and had his flashback it could have been up there a minute so they hear something outside

they're like what is that so they go over to the window and we see this old guy in his letterman's sweater and he's knocking fools out and he knocked out crumbs brother we see bodies laying all over the place he knocks out the dude with the dreads he grabs hanky and tack and gives them head butts

knocks them out so these guys are all happy and then uh the guy comes in and it turns out this is jill's father and he's like what the hell you guys doing on my house with my daughters and hubs is like these are our chicks and she's trying to tell him dad nothing happened everything's all good then lany comes walking down the stairs and just a shirt like a button-up shirt and he's looking at laner what they do to you and he's like uh they nothing and he turns over to Joe and Joe's like, hey man, nothing happened. She didn't even give me head.

And they're like, what? So he starts chasing the boys. Hubbs runs up and dives out the second floor window. Lands onto a car in the driveway. Joe's trying to run out, but then the lady's dad,

or Jill's dad grabs Joe and takes him downstairs. I like, Hubbs is just like fucking Joe. Yeah, he just left him there. so we had this big old lecture of them what do you kids thinking he goes is that goddamn rock and roll you guys listen or heavy metal you guys listening to but he calls the cops basically gonna get them arrested so jill's kind of like dad don't call the cops and he goes you need shut up so he's telling them like yeah we're down here at my house we got these young punks that are trespassing and he goes you might get them on a sex of a fence charge as well. So he's kind of sitting down

there. He goes and he gets his cup with his ice cubes and the camera zooms in on the ice cubes and it's those little piss cubes that those guys made. He pulls out his little bottle of hooch. He dumps it in there.

Oh, when he sits down on that chair the throw-up that was in it squirts out and the dad's kind of. He didn't hear that? No. he smelled it because he's like sniffing around so he takes a drink of his drink and he realizes it tastes funny he looks at it

but there's his fucking and then keeps the drinking but he's mad he starts kind of lecturing them again so I don't know what's the matter with you guys and he tells his daughter which is fucked up he's like he goes so you're not the prettiest girl around he's telling this

to Jill and she's like you're probably you're better to you can probably attract something better than these guys and then he looks at Laney and he's like like oh man what are you doing? Because I feel sorry for you and you're just giving it away

but then Joe's kind of like hey man he goes why'd you give her that bikini so you can sport wood while she's strutting around the pool and he's telling you just shut up so the Joe kind of gets up and lets Jill's

dad have it like oh you just think we're all fucked up because we're living to some heavy metal music music and he goes you're basically you're not a good dad but he's basically tells him like shut the fuck up man i'll beat your ass and get you locked up so he's about to beat up joe but he grabs joe and he's by his jacket he swings that all of a sudden push something bust and it's uh hubs he breaks the window and he's telling joe come on dude so joe pushes jill's dad down and then they go running out and they go take it off and uh when they get to to the front. Everyone's still laying there all

dead. And they see TAC and they start laughing at him. He's like, fuck you, you fucking worm. And then he passes out. He's still holding his beer. See, he was a vet, man. He got knocked out, but it didn't spill a drop. Yeah, until they kicked it out of his hand. Everyone else is starting to come

to. And all of a sudden here comes the whole police force. All right. They were Pals Verde's. I don't know how far that is from Torrance Beach, but I'm sure there's two different police departments but anyway it comes the officer dean and the gang they come swarming into the house again everyone's laying out the front dead the bushes there's guys hanging over face down in the bushes and then joe and hubs go hopping over the fence and they run to the backyard but then jill's back there and she's like hey joe hey joe and he's like

yeah what's up and then she's like i just want to let you know uh if you're ever around hey i come back uh maybe we can hang out and he's like oh yeah uh i'll give you a call but then she's like uh what she say um oh she kind of asked him she goes how come you didn't uh how come you didn't uh how can you didn't go for me all right i get it like you said she probably thought joe was upstairs getting it on with laney so she she wanted hers as well so she got it on with with uh hubs too and joe saw all this me i'm thinking if i saw my buddy kissing some girl i was trying to get on all night that's it but i don't know must be a different time in the early 80s

so she's like yeah so they kind of end up making out for a second that's fucked up man i would have ran around the block and waited to the cops were gone then went back but that's me So basically say that, yeah, here, well, give me a call. And he goes, well, all right. Well, what's your number? And her name was, oh, geez. Well, how does she pronounce it?

Wajia Wakowicz. She goes, oh, it's in the book. So he's like, okay, cool. So, yeah, they kiss. And then he grabs her ass and then Hubs comes around. Come on, Joe, we're going to get pinched. So they go running off. They run out and jump in.

the blue torpedo the cops are all outside arrest and tack and Hanky even Hanky got arrested they throw Hanky in the squad car with Krumbs brother so just before those two got into the blue torpedo we hear hey guys

he goes where's the party and they're like man right there and then Joe's kind of like okay where's the other one and she goes on you know you know how it is she was messing up the ratio. Yeah, they cut the freaky one loose.

No, I've been on the girl with the red flannel. So they were looking at them and they just kind of like, all right, man, we're out. So they end up taking off. And as they're hauling ass down the road, they get pulled over by some guy in a convertible. And it's the legendary Frankie Avalon. He's talking about, hey, can you guys tell me where the Frankie Avalon house is?

Yeah, it's about two blocks that way. And he goes, yeah, I hear there's some fine chicks over there. And they're like, yeah, man, go for a dude. And then they take off. So they're driving out of the road. Joe is driving. He should be all buzzed up still unless he threw it up, threw it all up. And sometimes you get recouped after you throw out.

Yeah, I've been there. So Joe, or Hubs is kind of like, yeah, man, what a night, man. got drunk and laid and then Joe's just looking at him and then he's telling him like hey what was going on back there and he goes why did you just jump on the

grenade and he tells him don't worry about it dude and then he's kind of like ah so he's that Joe asked the hub how do you spell Wajer McCockowitz and then looks at him like what

and he goes you're gonna fucking call her And he's like, man, the whole point, man, they live up north. Because you're never going to deal with her again. I've been in that situation, too. I was on my grad night. Met these girls down in Southern California. They gave me a phone number, and they never called them or anything. But, yeah, we had a thing going on for a little bit while I was there and never called

him again. But that was a young me. I think I was like 17 at the time. so joe's kind of like man hubs you just don't get it man i was digging on that chick and he's like what she have a good personality and he tells her give you a break you're thinking too much pussy and then uh joe looks over at uh hubs it goes fuck you man

and then hubs is like fuck me and then hug jo's like yeah fuck you then punches him in the face and then he gets him in a headlock He said something about, what do he say to her? He's like, oh, shit. Oh, he goes, Hubs looks over. He goes, you want to get your ass kicked over with some fat-ass chick? And then Joe's like, he grabs him in a headlock, just like earlier, driving out of the road.

She's cool, man. She's cool, say it. As he's swerving all over the road, he's swinging Hubs in the headlock. He's like, all right, she's cool. He's looking over. They're like, look at each other. Then he slides in. And don't fear the Reaper.

And then that's your movie. So, but this movie's awesome. I mean, they're buddies. Yeah, you steal each other's chicks and have a good time. Got stoned,

got laid, hung out with their buddies, everything. So, I like at this end, it says no chicks were harmed in the making of this film. Yeah.

And this is all one night. Ended up good for them while Joe's look Joe's looking at oh yeah and Hinky Joe's look in the rear view mirror that eyeball comes gliding up he just sees it like whoa

and then don't fear the Reaper's blasting as they're driving down the road so I don't know exactly where Torren's beaches but I know somewhere in Southern California so but this movie's awesome yeah no chicks were harmed in the making

of this motion picture so that is the stone age from 1994 all right what's your pick all right while we are on here

let me see if it's still streaming I know I saw it before oh no no I wanted to do that for for a frightful reflection Um Let me see

Where was I The other one I want to do For frightful reflections I wanted to I guess I should have had this all ready to roll Let me see Oh, here it is. Well, I guess we were to get on it

because it says it's leaving soon. Better Off Dead from 1985. We haven't done that, have we? No. Okay. I watched this like a couple months ago. I showed my daughter this movie. Yeah, I watched this the other night.

Yeah. For those of you that have HBO Max is getting ready to leave December 31st so hopefully we'll come back before that so but yeah better off dead if not I'm sure we'll find it somewhere so yeah

but all right boys and girls that is it for the night that was 1994's the stone age and go over to thehorror returns dot com for everything deal with that and if you can

please be a Patreon subscriber mentioned a few episodes ago that Brian and I were going to do something for Patreon and that's going to roll into the new year so get ready for that we're going to cover a little franchise won't tell you what it is but when that first episode comes out you'll

know but as far as East Society and everything else we got a regular episode coming and then we got to start doing our best of 25 best movies best horror films best this best that and everything so just got to figure out of time

with the Zis who don't want to do that but all right boys and girls come back next time for the 80s better off dead and everything else we're doing so wrestling what's the next one is that the beginning

there is Saturday night main event like on the 24th of January it's the 20 something of January and then Royal Rumbles at the end of January so basically there's nothing for like a month I don't know we'll figure out

figure out something. Oh, there was something else you wanted me to watch, wrestling-wise. I don't know. Oh, AW's Blood and Guts. Yeah. Well, what? That, is that on HBO? Yeah. All right. We'll have to watch that. We'll talk about it. All right, boys and girls, that is it for the night. It's been a long one, so we'll be back next time.

And just be safe out there. And Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza. If we don't see you guys, if you don't hear from us, before next year, happy new year and just be safe out there. And if you're drinking, don't drive. And if you're smoking cigarettes, make it a new year and quit.

And if you're going to drink the snaps, 151 or malt liquor, don't do it. All that shit is deadly. If you are a drinker and you drink not that, just drinks responsibly.

And hey, we all like to go out but if you need just be careful if you go out new year's eve but all right everyone that's it again be safe out there and party on we'll see you guys next time and be good to each other well what kind of party is this going to be we got alcohol what like some annie green springs yeah we got the snapster check it out bitchin you don't take schnappster yeah like when i was in seventh grade Thank you.