The Host Unknown Podcast - Episode 47a - Nextdoor Cheeky Bantz

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

Jav, Andy and Thom chat about the delights of the Nextdoor app. For our international listeners, just head to https://nextdoor.co.uk/ to find out about the uniquely Britishness of complaining about your neighbours on a public forum in a passive aggressive way without actually openly complaining about them. And it is all OK because it is on an App.In their own words:"It's where communities come together to greet newcomers, exchange recommendations, and read the latest local news. Where neighbours support local businesses and get updates from public services. Where neighbours borrow tools and sell sofas. It's how to get the most out of everything nearby. Welcome, neighbour."You're welcome. Come on! Like and bloody well subscribe!

Well, I found out, I actually worked out this week why Andy is so busy. I had first-hand experience of Andy's life. Do you know how? So I signed up to the Nextdoor app. Oh, my God. That thing spams you constantly. Andy, you have now. I mean, walk a mile in Andy's shoes, you know,

and then you're a mile away and you've got his shoes, obviously. But, you know, wow. I know all about block paving sheds. The local gardeners. The local gardeners. Who doesn't wear a mask last summer was the ice cream man that didn't wash his hands

between serving the best one the people that couldn't see anti hand sanitiser in his van yeah the best one was from this guy his picture's very bright and jolly of him.

And I can't even remember his name, but his name is something, something, the entertainer. Just Google me, you'll find me. And he said, and in fairness, that was the only bad thing that he, that was, you know, the only negative thing I've got to say about him. But nonetheless, you know, if you're an entertainer, you gotta, you gotta, you know, you gotta advertise yourself. Right. But he said, um, does anybody know which vaccine they're rolling out a bath race course, because I'm going to be getting a second dose while I'm in the U S

and I need to make sure I get the same one. That sounds absolutely fair, right? You know, because you're not supposed to mix your AstraZeneca with your Pfizer and your Sputnik with your whatever. Did the pitchforks come out? Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ, like 90% of them were, well, don't believe everything you read about the Pfizer one. There's nothing wrong with it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then someone else said, you know, well, the Pfizer one was made with gene splicing and that's going to fuck you up. And another one said, well, I can tell you as an expert. No, he just wanted to know which one they were doling out. Not, oh, my God. It was like watching a car crash. I know. You know.

There are some things you can actually just, you see coming a mile off and you're just like, oh, my days. And on, like, in my neighborhood actually had that. Someone said, you know, what vaccine are they doing at the uh local um you know place that's doing it because they didn't want the astrazeneca one and this was the same day that europe sort of uh put a halt on it unless you know oh yeah it's only last week or so it was yeah and so honestly that it was the same thing it's like you know why would you stop it yeah do you not understand the importance of this fight? What makes you the expert on this?

It was just horrendous. It is proper car crash reading sometimes. Yeah, this guy, the entertainer, he came in like three times, said, no, no, no, I just need to know which one it is. I don't care. And then a couple of comments later, no, I just need to know which one. And then you could tell he just sort of like gave up after that. You know, I mean, I feel sorry that as a local lady who got a parking ticket, a parking fine for parking at one of the local parks around here.

And she she basically said, can you believe I got a parking ticket and such and such? It was, you know, I didn't see any signs warning of the parking and as soon as i read that i was like oh god help you literally been advertising they were going to start charging for parking since last year and you know she was saying that she didn't see it and everyone's like you have to walk past the ticket machines to get into the park there's paul you know 165 comments later and she's like well i'm saying i didn't see it yeah yeah sometimes you just you have to pick the arena in which to have your battle right yeah wow you know it's like that meme isn't it it's like you go on next door and it's like,

I see you have chosen death. But, you know, I can see why you rave about it, Andy. Partly because of the entertainment value. It's all entertainment. Partly because I know at some point I'm going to need someone to erect my shed in my garden and stuff like that. Yeah, get someone local. Partly because I know at some point I'm going to need someone to, you know, erect my shed in my garden and stuff like that. Yeah, get someone local. Shop local, people.

Yeah, exactly. But, dear God, will the notifications please stop? Yeah. You know, it's like, this week on Nextdoor, block paving. No. Oh, dear. Oh, well. block paving no oh well well just just before we go off the topic um uh there's lots of talks about Pfizer and all that kind of stuff on next door but the the one that that caught my attention this morning as I opened out was there are inconsiderate professional dog

walkers in my area so I'm sure that's something you can't say. Description, two women, one with multicolored trousers, black coat and white hair. The other with a green cap and camouflage jacket. If that isn't a sort of like a new, you know, female version of the Black Panthers, I don't know what is. Many others also do not pick up their poo but these tend to be macho men who think it's uncool to clean up after their dog for these types there

is no hope do you know it's literally it's like a copy and paste in different areas i bet we could copy pasta yeah copy pasta i reckon we could because i have the exact same uh you know comments in my area about dog walkers and, you know, not picking up their mess. You know what it is? It's Next Door HQ seeding these stories. You know, that's what I think. You know, forget all your conspiracies about vaccines and aliens

and flat earth and all that sort of thing. It's bloody Next Door. Next Door HQ. They're tapping in, you know, poo found here and, you know, I didn't see the parking tickets and parking ticket machines. Do you know what's funny is you joke about that, but many moons ago in a different world, I was at a startup. There was a social network, and this was before um social networks

were even a thing yeah before facebook sort of went mainstream and uh it was quite popular and everywhere apart from the uk because friends reunited had that and uh it got to the stage where you know we did have a uk site that was launched and you know there was some traffic you know we're getting the stats on a weekly basis, interactions, posts and stuff like that. And it came to the stage where it's like, look, you know, we're not getting many click throughs, you know, we're not making the money, we're not getting all this. Back then, it was all about ad revenue and stuff like that. You know, impressions on the page. And what we did, we actually called in the ghostwriters that we had. So long story short, it turned out that it was actually the ghostw interacting with each other and we had no organic clients at all

it was absolutely so we're literally paying people to use this site that uh you know we were trying to make money from it was uh hey i mean it's a great thing about startups is uh you know there's loads of those sort of great ideas that go nowhere but you get a good story out of it so literally in the last few seconds next door top post potential royal mail text scams in the past two days both my wife and i have received text messages i'm not even joking i have the exact same thing on please does it say in the last two days both my wife and i uh it doesn't say my wife and i but uh royal mail scam again just had a text from royal mail uh to say my parcel had a 299 charger it'd be returned to

sender yeah yeah uh yeah and but yeah these are yeah i think there's oh there's another one royal mail tech scam hi everyone i'm sharing this in an attempt to ensure people don't fall for this scam it's like my day it's a slight daily thing like five people a day post this yeah i don't know i don't know i blame you andy yeah well good fun it's uh when you go to tiktok we can uh i was gonna say you got jam addicted to tiktok and me addicted to next door i mean right next i'm gonna get i'm gonna get uh graham onto snapchat and uh you wait you see a picture you know the picture with his tongue out and the big puppy ears oh yeah yeah you hear that graham and he's coming for you

anyway anyway let's move on we spent