The I Love CVille Show With Jerry Miller! - The Kyle Miller Show: Mark J. Silverman Of Mark J. Silverman Coaching Joined Kyle Miller

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

Mark J. Silverman, Owner of Mark J. Silverman Coaching, joined Kyle Miller live on The Kyle Miller Show! The Kyle Miller Show airs live Thursday from 2:15 pm – 3 pm on The I Love CVille Network. Watch and listen to The Kyle Miller Show on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, iTunes, Apple Podcast, YouTube, Spotify, Fountain, Amazon Music, Audible and iLoveCVille.com.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your host, Kyle Miller. Welcome to the show. I'm excited to bring you stories and insights from entrepreneurs and people who are thought provocative from people all around this town. Today I have a special guest, and with that, you are going to be excited if you're interested in learning about leadership, learning how to grow, expand you as a person. You are not going to want to miss this. We have Mark Silverman on air with us today. And he is an author, high achiever, executive coach.

He works with CEOs, entrepreneurs. And what he does is he helps take people where they're at and grow them into magnificent leaders, right? If you, and I saw this on your website and I really like this quote, is what got you here won't get you where you're going, right? And we, as entrepreneurs and as people, we're always the go-drivers, the go-getters, pushing, pushing, pushing. And we can push pretty far, right, for a certain distance. But then it kind of drops off.

So I'm excited to talk with you, Mark. I'm excited to learn from you today. Welcome to the show. Thank you, and I love being a special guest. That feels really good. Awesome, awesome. Mark, tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell us how you grew up, what got you into this.

Give us kind of a little bit of insight on who you are. Boy, I grew up an asthmatic kid on Long Island. Yeah. In the hospital a lot and trouble breathing and trying to do sports and trying to be a real boy and failing quite a bit because my physicalness wouldn't support it. Plus, I think my nerdiness didn't help at all. So what I did to remedy that was drugs and alcohol. When I learned that if I sold drugs, I would be popular. If I did drugs, I'd be fun. And that started at 12, 13, and 14.

So it was really young. And that was the pastime on Long Island, if you weren't part of the rich kids. The rich kids had the better drugs, the better parties. But that started my career in underachieving. Man, that's a... But you know what? I always say this

and it's kind of funny. I found that, and I'm not saying that you were an addict, right? Oh, I was. Oh, you were an addict. I ended up homeless. So this, this story has a happy ending, but it has a pretty rough middle. But what I found is the people that can go from having the addiction, right? And turning that into a positive. So if you're out there, you have an addiction to something, right, something negative that's in your life. These are the individuals, these are the people that can really drastically change their life if they find that different high, right? If they find that different thing that clicks with them that they like and they enjoy and that's actually a positive thing in their life, their lives drastically change. Drastically.

Always. The charisma, the energy it takes to be an addict, the energy it takes to destroy your life in that fashion, if you turn that energy into something positive, and usually, like for me, I think I became wildly successful because I was making up for all those years that I was destroying things. Right.

I wanted to be something completely the opposite. Right. I talk to a lot of entrepreneurs. I talk to a lot of them. I go to events. I meet them all the time. And this story is rampant among the entrepreneur group. Now there are people that are still addicts that never got their life together and never changed. But man, today, the people who, alcoholism, addicted to drugs or whatever, if they can just find that little positive switch to change their life, that little thing that makes them have that high with something good, and their lives drastically, drastically change. And I think it's just amazing how that happens.

Because I don't have that personality. I don't get addicted to anything, so I'm on a constant push. But I find that those guys guys there's just that drive like a crack addict right will do anything to find crack if they don't have it right they'll do anything but they turn that into a positive they'll do anything to be successful anything to be positive anything to grow and expand and that's just it's crazy i just see that in the mind there has to be have you done any research on just see that in the mind. There has to be, have you done any research on how that works in the mind? I have actually, I've actually done a lot of

research on how that works in the mind. A lot of it though, again, all of it, all of it came clear to me when I was diagnosed in my forties with severe ADD. So we, so we, we, we went to have my, one of my sons tested because he was struggling. So we said, let's get the whole family tested so he doesn't feel stigmatized. And the doctor was like, you know who's off the charts? And I don't even know how he functions. And I'm pointing to my wife at the time. And she was, dad, how do you even function? I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. I took one Adderall one time, and I was like, this is how people think? And then it made all the sense in the world why I couldn't pay attention, why I was always chasing that dopamine high.

Because that's a big piece of addiction is chasing that dopamine, chasing that high. So for me, translating that into business, I always have to be on the edge. I always have to be doing something that scares me a little bit. It has to be on the outside of my comfort zone or I'm bored out of my mind. I complain about it all the time. Why am I always out on the edge of my sword? But it's where I seem to push myself all the time and that's where I shine. When I'm a little scared, it's a little too big, right? And then the energy is up and I can accomplish things I didn't think I could. It's kind of like that life or death. It's not really life or death, but it's like, oh,

it just pushes us out on the edge. And some people don't like that. I like to live there because I'm like, oh, what's going to happen? It kind of keeps us on our toes thinking like, oh, we're always on our toes. We're never sitting back and relaxing and just going, oh, this is just the way it is, and going through life. We're always, okay, what else can we do? Who else can we help? How else can we improve our lives? Well, society is doing everything it can to dull us. It's doing everything it can to pacify us with enough streaming services to keep us entertained. Let's do wine. Wine is alcohol.

But it's wine, so it's refined. Food, fast food, all the things we do to numb ourselves because of not being able to deal with what's happening in the world. So for me, I can either fall prey to those things because, again, I have an addictive personality and I love French fries, right? Like I love chocolate. But I have to keep myself focused on what I'm creating rather than the fallbacks. I 100% agree with you as far as how people are, what society is doing. They don't want us to be high achievers. They don't want us to be striving. When I say they, there may not even be a they. It's just the way things have kind of grown.

We made TV dinners to make things easy. Right. Nobody was nefarious about TV dinners. It turned into something that wasn't so good. So when you watch a baseball game, every single commercial is for things that will kill you. Right. No doubt. No doubt. So cool. So, all right. 27 years old and you're homeless. So you've gone through this addiction. We've talked about that. Now you're homeless. Like this is where it gets you, right? The drugs, alcohol.

This is where all my counters went to zero, as they say in the rooms. I just couldn't hold it together anymore. I was bartending, waiting on tables, doing things, moving around the country. And at one point, I just got thrown out of where I was living and I had nothing left. I had nothing left on any credit cards to get myself a place to live. And my brother lived in the Washington, D.C. area. He owned a bunch of the most famous restaurants in D.C. And back then, this was 1989, so there was no Venmo. There wasn't even an Internet, right?

So I was trying to borrow some money from him. It was Western Union back then. So I was living in my truck. So he said, why don't you just drive to D.C. and stay with me for a couple days. So I came to D.C. and the thing that I noticed about my brother and his friends, it was really weird. I hadn't seen them in

years because I didn't talk to my family for five years. I noticed all their heads were really small. Like all my brother's friends' heads were just small. And then I realized they were all bodybuilders. I had never seen my brother all bulked up like that. They were all like bulking up because they were all in AA and NA and they were all sober. And they were taking that addiction and putting it into the gym. And the first thing I thought of was how weird they

all looked. And so when I got here, my brother said, look, you can stay with me. He says, but, you know, you've got to go to the gym with me. You're going to run with me and my friends. I couldn't. Like, running was not a thing for me. Right. And you're going to enroll in college. So I got a job at the Four Seasons waiting on tables, got myself some benefits,

you know, health insurance, enrolled in college, and slowly, step by step, surrounded myself with really good people, put myself in the pocket of AA and NA and all my brother's friends. And, you know, so they got me sober. So, you know, each year took a couple more classes, couple more classes, until I started building a life. I met my wife in the rooms, and we wound up getting married. And when we got married, I said to her, I said, you know, I'm in my 30s by this time. I said, I may not ever be anything more than a waiter. And she came from a pretty well-to-do family.

And I said, you know, this may be it. And she says, I trust you. I'm okay if you're a waiter. It's fine. And my father worked in restaurants. So that was my life. That's the only life I knew. Right.

What happened was kind of a surprise to all of us. I took a test on what aptitude I had to do, you know, like what could I possibly do with my life. And it said you could either be a lawyer or a salesman. Like, I, you know, it's been five years and I still haven't gotten an undergraduate degree yet. Like, I'm not going to be a lawyer. And, you know, salesman, oh, and it also said writer, which I don't know, I feel like I didn't know that was in my future at that point. But I went and took an opportunity to take a sales job. So I went out, and back then

when you used to sell copiers, you would go around from office to office and knock on the doors and sell copiers that way. So I went out with one of the sales guys, and I came back, and the sales manager said, Silverman, you're a really nice guy. Do not go into sales. Because I'm shy. I don't like to bother people. I'm a rabid introvert. So bothering people really didn't do well for me.

So I wound up actually getting a sales job. And once I started to figure out that to stop selling and to create relationships. I went from just about getting fired to the number one sales guy in that particular job. It was the first job I had not being a waiter. So I was still making about $26,000 a year. Wife, kid on the way. My ex-wife made twice as much money as I did, and she wanted to stay home with the kids. So I got another sales job. And this time it was in technology, and it was selling something that was really cool. I don't know if you ever heard of smart boards. But smart boards were

before we had all these LEDs and all this other stuff, it was a whiteboard that you could draw on and it would download to a computer. Okay. Coolest thing you ever saw. And if you put a projector on it, you could play solitaire with it and move the cards around and things. I was like, I could sell that shit. I can do that. So I wound up selling a million and a half dollars worth of stuff to the Marine Corps. All of a sudden, I'm the number one sales guy in my next job.

Right. Then I get another job at another place. Now I'm making now i'm making like sixty thousand dollars a year it's like it's crazy money for me right right the next year i make 125 000 in this new place and i'm i'm like walking around like i am i am that shit right right because i'm making all this money and i kept doubling my income yeah every year until i'm making half a million dollars a year. We're in a million dollar house.

I'm driving a sports car. It was crazy. We have these two kids and my now ex-wife is like, did not expect this. We're at the Four Seasons Hotel in Hawaii with all the top sales people. The problem with that was,

and I just did a keynote on this, I never told all these people, we're at the Four Seasons. And I had been waiting tables not too long before at the Four Seasons. I was homeless just before that. And I'm meeting the president of the company and all these people. My insides, again, why are addicts successful once they get sober? Because we're so desperate to prove that we're not that person. I was so desperate to not be that homeless guy. Right. That my clothes were just, like I wore Hugo Boss and a solid gold watch and all kinds of stuff, $125 ties to cover that up. Right.

Right? to cover that up. So for me, I was running probably at 200 miles an hour to keep up with everybody and to prove all that, which is where burnout came in. So we're living in the million-dollar house. Everything's going up, and then all of a sudden, this midlife crisis thing comes up. It's the what got you here won't get you there. Yeah.

Right? Anybody in their late 30s or early 40s to 50s, right, well, what happens is the wheels start coming off the bus. You're either dissatisfied with your relationship with the person who you loved

for the rest, you know, for your whole life or I'm in the wrong career or something's just wrong. Right. And for me, the cracks were I didn't belong and I didn't do my inner work. So my marriage started to fall apart.

I started having panic attacks. And stone cold sober, all of a sudden I couldn't sell anymore. I couldn't do anything and I started getting sick all the time. So everything fell apart. I'm 47, 48 years old. I'm 61 now.

Okay. So I was about 48, 49 years old. And it all falls apart. I'm separated. I'm living in an apartment all by myself. I'm having panic attacks. I'm having hives and I'm really sick. And I don't know what's going on.

Now, given what I do for a living, I know exactly what was going on. Right. Right. That inside was whispering. Something needs to change. You need to do some work. You need to deal with some trauma. You need to, you can't burn the candles at both ends to try and prove you're not the homeless guy. Yeah. We got, we got to stop because we're not going to be able to hold this together. We can't cover up anymore. No, right. So change. So that's when the drinking comes in for some people. That's when the, when the people, you know, the, the, the extracurricular activities start to happen and you eat, you know, my, um, my friend, Dr. Jeff Spencer, who's a coach who coaches like you two and Tiger Woods and stuff. Great guy. He taught, calls it the zone of doom when all of a sudden your life just doesn't

fit. Right. And you don't know what to do with that. And as men, what we generally know what to do is blow shit up. Yeah. We're good at that. Either our health, our relationship, our finance, our jobs, something's got to give so that we can right the ship to whatever we don't know is wrong. And for me, I was so committed to not being the homeless guy and being the good guy. Because I was the bad guy for so many years that I couldn't even blow things up.

Like I just held on and the cracks just came around me. So what happened was I was now, my career was in the toilet. I was losing weight and I was sick as a dog. And they would diagnose me with all kinds of stuff and I thought I was in the toilet. I was losing weight, and I was sick as a dog. They would diagnose me with all kinds of stuff, and I thought I was going to die. And I figured if I'm going to die, I need to do something for my ex-wife and my kids because I love them dearly,

and I wanted to show them what you do when tragedy happens. So I was sitting in a doctor's office parking lot, and this guy, Stu Middleman, who's this ultra-arathoner, he says, you know, everybody can run. We're a bipedal. We're supposed to run. I couldn't run a mile. I was so sick. But he says, everybody could run an ultramarathon.

So I called him, and I said, can you coach me? I need to run the Marine Corps marathon. And he's like, what do you run now? I said, I can't run a mile. I don't run. I have back problems, all kinds of stuff. And he says, uh, he says, okay, you can do it in about two years. I said, no, I need to do it in October. This was nine months away. Right. Cause I'm going to die. Yeah. Can you train me? Uh, so I decided I was going to run the Marine Corps marathon. I was going to make a million dollars to leave my kids. I was going to run the Marine Corps Marathon. I was going to make a million dollars to leave my kids.

I was going to give $60,000 to charity just to make up for screwing up again. Right. So I started training. And this was when Facebook was first starting to come out. I started raising money for charity and stuff. I got a new job. And this is a really cool thing is when you're doing extracurricular activities, that creative stuff like training for a marathon

or artwork or a charity work, your career tends to lift with those other things, with those extracurriculars. Right. The creativity and all that. All of a sudden, I'm selling. I make the million dollars that year. It took about 18 months, but I made the million dollars. Ran the Marine Corps Marathon an hour faster than Stu

thought I could do it. And I gave the $60,000 charity. I wrote all the checks out with my sons. That's amazing. And I don't want you to stop. But when we decide, when we make a decision in life and we stick to that decision and we say, I'm doing this come hell or high water, right? I'm going to do it. The universe opens up. It gives us steps. It gives us the people who we need. And it puts the path in front of us. When we say, I'm doing this and nothing's stopping it, it happens. Like everything that I've ever done in life, if I said, I am making this happen, I'm selling this house this week, I'm whatever. Commitment. I'm going to lose 20 something pounds. It's commitment. Boom. As soon as you say that and you start making those actions and you start doing that, man, you feel so much better. So my book, Only Tens, is just about that. If you commit, if it's a 10, if it's truly a,

I'm going to do this no matter what. ADD doesn't factor in. Distractions don't factor in. I had three goals and I did all three. So I end the year, my career's on fire. My health is great. Everything is starting to go. So what happened was when I was training, I was listening to every self-help book known to man. I was listening to spiritual books. I was learning to meditate and I was learning new skills. I was going to build Mark Silverman back differently from my 50s. And that's how I became a coach. Because I became an ex-smoker. Friends of mine died in their early 50s at the prime of life with young kids.

And I couldn't deal with the compromise we have made to be in the 1%. And I watched people falling apart, and I was like an ex-smoker. And I just had to teach people, you can do this differently. You don't have to kill yourself to be rich. You don't have to kill yourself to be successful. You can do it in a different way. And then accidentally, I found out about coaching. And it was my ex-wife who said, I've been telling you for years that you should teach people what you do. We didn't have a name for it. We didn't know what it was, but you should go do this. And I was giving her $10,000 a month to stay home with the kids and take care of her. And she depended on me. And she said, you should go be a coach because that's who you are. And that's how this whole executive coaching thing came into being.

So you were able to take from those experience of where you've been, what you've gone through, everything, right? You've had the breakdowns. You've had the, oh, my guys, and girls to grow and scale and be better for themselves, for their companies. For their companies, for their spouses, for their children, for themselves. Again, the people that coach are successful. They're really successful. They don't need me to make money.

They do need me to make money. They do need me to learn how to have success through others. Learn to delegate. Learn to inspire a team. Learn to create a vision. But they also need to be able to do

it, again, when that midlife thing comes around, they need to be able to do it without the wreckage. And that's what I care about. I'll get them promotions. One of my clients just got promoted to CEO. And that was one of the things we talked about three years ago when we started working together is I want to be considered for CEO. He's CEO. But more importantly, he's going to be CEO with his family totally intact, with his health. He lost a bunch of weight. His health is intact. He's going to go into this job firing on all cylinders and not destroy everything he built.

The good to great, right? It's just little tweaks. Everybody thinks there are these massive tweaks. They're just little tweaks. Little, oh, we're going to do this instead. These little micro decisions that we make every single day that turn us into what we can become. I totally am on board with that. So you've got a new book coming out.

Tell us about that. So it's called The Rising Leader Handbook, Turning High Achievers into Effective Leaders. achievers into effective leaders. So I'm really blessed with a waiting list for my coaching services. I don't really do a lot of advertising. It's all word of mouth. So I'm really, really grateful for that. The way I figured out what my specialty was is who calls me and who refers to me. So I am generally called in by a CEO when they have someone on their team

in the C-suite or on the way to the C-suite. They're amazing, they're so talented, they're so good, they're invaluable to the company. They're a bull in the China closet. Or they just are pissing everybody off. Or I really want to elevate this person to the CFO, but they won't let go of the day-to-day. They won't delegate.

They won't empower their people. What are the leadership skills that the drive and the things that got them to where they are? Again, when you start, like we talk about our entrepreneurs. They start a business because they're passionate about something. They're creative. They've got an idea. Even if they buy a franchise of something, it's like I'm going to be in business for myself. And all that energy goes into that. All that energy goes into climbing the ladder. But then you have to run the business

from day to day. We were talking about that before the mic comes on. Building the business is one thing. Running the business day to day through other people, learning leadership skills instead of doing skills, that's the hard part. And what my people don't understand is that the leadership skills are their job now. It is no longer to do things. It's to make sure the right things get done in the right way. And 100%, I think when people start, and I deal with a lot of real estate entrepreneurs and people building those type companies and small business blue-collar guys, the biggest thing that I see is that they just can't take their hand off of it. They cannot delegate.

They cannot say, all right, I'm hiring this person to do the job and then empower that person, give them the skill sets, take some time, spend some time with them and tell them, hey, this is how we do the job. X, Y, Z. And put them through a training program that they need to have. There's no good help out there. There is good help out there. You just got to find it.

You got to train it. You got to cultivate it. You got to bring them up through the ranks. That's how you get good help. Somebody's just not going to come in off the streets and know exactly what and how to do your system and process the way you want to do things. You know, the biggest thing I hear in the small business and blue collar guys is nobody does it like me. It's quicker for me to just do it. It's just quicker.

It's quicker for me to do it. Yeah. Okay. That's one job. What happens if you want to have 50 jobs going at the same time? You're just going to go out and do all 50? You know, that kind of gives them that look. It's so imperative to be able to grow, scale, and empower.

I was interviewing a guy named Jefferson K. Rogers. He owns a window company. He said he was gating the success of his window company because nobody could do things as well as he could. He was just driving people really hard and nobody could do anything as good as he could. And he was just driving people really hard and nobody could

do anything as good as he did until one day he realized that if someone could do something 80% as well as he could, and then he could get five people to do something 80% as well as he could, he now scaled himself. He could then coach them and teach them to get that other 20%. But he realized that nobody was going to be able to do it the way he was and that that was okay. And that eventually they can coach. And then again, it's the surrender piece, right? It's the attitude adjustment that yes, it's quicker to do it yourself. Yes, you might close that customer more easily than someone else. But if you're going to have leverage, if you're going to not be a slave, your job is to take that extra time to coach, mentor, teach.

And I just learned something new from the military. Right seat, left seat, right? So the superior officer is in the driver's seat. And you put the guy learning or the woman in the passenger seat. Okay. You shadow me, watch me, watch what I'm doing. Right. Now we switch.

Yeah. You go, but I'm going to be there. Right. Right? Yeah. And eventually you get to drive the Jeep yourself. Right. Right?

And it's painstaking and it takes so much work and patience and all that. But what you have at the end of the, the end of the day or the end of a year or two is a team where you and your family can go on vacation and things work. Exactly. The, the part where the other thing that I hear with that group is, um, they talk about how, uh, they don't want to train somebody because then they're going to go off and do it on their own. That's like the worst thing that I've ever heard because if you don't train them to do it right for you,

you're going to have more issues. And you're going to have more work. You train these guys, if they leave, great. If they don't leave, it's even better. Because if you can build a community and a culture in your company through good leadership, they're not going to leave. Where are they going to go? They might go start their own company. Okay, great.

That's just somebody you can refer business to or they can refer and keep those relationships. Because I truly, and you said when you got into the business and relationships was the key to selling. I truly believe that. And I think there's so many different ways to go off on that. And when somebody leaves, when somebody goes out on their own, support them, because you never know what's going to come back. Right. But one will leave, two will stay. Yeah. One will leave, three will stay.

Yeah. Because you start, when people are taken care of, when people know you care, Yeah. the loyalty that you, you know, and then even the people who leave Right. are loyal to you because you gave to them.

Right. You weren't from a scarcity mindset. Right. There's an abundance for everybody. And if you go for, it's such a better life to think from abundance than hoarding skills, hoarding, if you, you know, again, and in big companies, you know,

they pay for school, they pay for certifications. And yes, people leave with those things, but more people stay and they're more loyal and they're more trained. Yeah, I love it. I love it. So what do you think, what do you think is the most exciting thing for you with your clients? What, when you see your clients have success, like how's that make you feel when you're, when you're going through and coaching them and you know, the struggles that they go through,

right? You know what they've overcome as individuals. How does that make you feel? So I'll tell you a story. I coach two executives in one company in another country, and I was visiting the country and visiting them, and they wanted me to go out to dinner with their wives. So we go out to this swanky restaurant. It was really nice.

And the wives start talking to me, and they say, we know what you did for our husbands' companies. We know what you did for them as businessmen and leaders. And that was great. But we want to tell you what you did for them as men, as husbands, as fathers. And they started telling me how different they were. I'm in this restaurant bawling my eyes out because that's what I care about. The success to me is a byproduct to building a life. So when they tell me that

their boss chewed them out up and down, left and right, and they were able to relax over the weekend because they knew it was about him or her, not about them, when they finally make that connection that anybody, and I'll give you the secret, if anybody's yelling at you, anything over a four or a five in anger on a scale of one to 10,

you're no longer there. If there are three and they're pissed off about something, yes, you probably screwed up a sale or probably did something and they're just a little frustrated, yes, you probably screwed up a sale or probably did something and they're just a little frustrated. If it's more than a four or five, it's their childhood trauma. It has nothing to do with you.

You're no longer there. Once you get that and someone rages at you and you realize that you're not even standing in front of them anymore, they're fighting with a ghost, you're free. And the person who's grounded and centered in any given situation

is the one who has the power. Right. Whenever I get in arguments or whenever that happens, I just sit there and let them just go on. Okay, you done? I can already tell I would not argue with you. But it's so true.

It's so true. It's that childhood trauma. I talk to my wife about this type of stuff because she's done more of the healing. For me, I've never really read books on this. It's just all come from within. It's just kind of like, hmm. Or just having conversations and just listening to people.

But it's all kind of like, why do I do this too? Why do I do the things that I do? I think about those things. My mentor, why do I do the things that I do? Right? I think about those things. My mentor, he says it's the thoughts on the thoughts. Right? Why,

why are we thinking the thoughts that we're having? So we have to question those. We have to, we have to talk, like, is that true? Is that, is that,

is that absolute truth? Or is it, you know, false lie? Why am I thinking that way? So, and so I try to do that. Why am I thinking that way? And so I try to do that. Why am I thinking this way?

Why is that person thinking this way? What came out about and made them blow up or why are they having that reaction to something like that? I never put it into the childhood trauma though. So that's interesting. So I'll think about that more. But especially over the level of four if somebody's arguing with,

because there's really no need to. Nobody's dying. As long as nobody's dying, right? What's the big problem? Okay, I screwed up. All right, what's next? How do we fix it? I had a mentor who once said,

if it's anything less than $250,000, it's not worth my peace. Right. And I don't think he was that rich that $250,000 didn't mean anything to him, but he was really putting a stake in the ground. Right. That it's, you know, unless your kids are sick. Yeah.

And that's kind of my philosophy in life. I have very, very low standards in life. You know, as long as my kids are okay, I don't give a shit. Right. Like, I'm good. Like, thank you. Thank you, Lord. The life, life is good. Right. My team will send out an email or send, do something wrong or do something

messed up. And I'm like, all right. I never get mad. I never, it's never that that's not a good form of communicating, uh, your wants, needs and how to improve. Uh, so I'll take a second. I'll sit in it. Let the chaos or whatever happen. And I'll go, okay. Now I'll respond. When my wife and I are arguing, she's a little more loose than I am. And I'm calm.

All right? And she'll always say, why are you so calm? How are you able to just... Well, I don't take any of it personal, one. You know, I'm just letting you vent the stuff out, and, you know, we'll move on from there, and we'll get better. We'll have a discussion after that. My son's that way, and it's awful to have political conversations with him. Yeah.

Because he's just like, why are you getting all upset? Just explain to me your position and why you think that way. Like, because. I thought you were Zen Master Flash, Dad. Right. Like, not when it comes to politics. Oh, man, that's funny. So where can they get this book?

I know it's coming out. When's it dropping? How's it, how do we find it? So the Rising Leader Handbook looks at leadership from four perspectives. Leading up, becoming a trusted advisor. Yeah. Leading across. How do you lead on a team of powerful leaders? Leading up, becoming a trusted advisor. Leading across, how do you lead on a team of powerful leaders?

Leading your team and then leading yourself. How do you become the best version of yourself? It comes out March 5th. There's a 25-page summary on my website, markjsilverman.com, that they can get for free. My first book only tends confront your to-do list, transform your life.

I can look at someone's to-do list and know how they grew up, what they care about. I can read them like tarot cards. They can get that for free on my website also. Okay, awesome. And it's markjsilverman.com. markjsilverman.com. Everything's there.

All right, check it out, guys. Mark, I appreciate you coming on today. This was fun. I'm excited. Oh, you can also check them on, you're on LinkedIn too. I'm on LinkedIn, Instagram. Yes. They call it Media Mark. Mark is everywhere. Mark is everywhere. Hey, omnipresence. There you go. But thank you for coming on. I appreciate it. I definitely learned some. I'm going to get the book. I'm going to read the new one. So that's

exciting. It'll be the only first one I think I read on this subject. So I'm excited to read the new one. So that's exciting. It'll be the first one I think I read on this subject. So I'm excited about that. Definitely this conversation. I really do appreciate you coming on and teaching us some stuff. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Today, awesome show.

As you can tell, go to his website. Check it out. Amazing things. Amazing conversations. He has a blog on LinkedIn as well. He posts daily stuff on there. So if you want to check him out there too as well, you can do that. Very insightful. Read it.

And definitely bring in some thoughts. So make you think in a little different the way that you currently do and improve on your daily life. But thank you guys, and until next week, I appreciate it, and I'll see you then.