The I Love CVille Show With Jerry Miller! - Tony Anderson Joined Marc Hunt Live On “A Life, Unedited” On The I Love CVille Network!

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

Tony Anderson, Buddhist, Father, Husband, Brother, joined Marc Hunt live on A Life, Unedited! A Life, Unedited airs live Wednesday from 10:15 pm – 11:00 am on The I Love CVille Network. “A Life, Unedited” is presented by Martha Jefferson House.

Good morning. My name is Mark Hunt, and this is a life unedited. In this podcast, I sit down with extraordinary people to hear about their lives, their perspectives without the filters of hindsight. Today, I'm honored to have Tony Anderson. Tony is a Buddhist, a father, a husband, and a devoted brother. Tony's life has been shaped by responsibility to navigating loss, redemption, and caregiving. Tony's story is about resilience, purpose, and what it truly means to show up for the people you love. Thank you for being here, Tony. Good morning. Good morning.

Morning. You grew up in South Carolina in a military family. Yeah. Take me there. What did that environment feel like as a child? Yeah, take you back to the beginning. Yeah, to the beginnings. Yeah, so I grew up in the backwoods of South Carolina, Sumter, South Carolina.

I came from military family. my father was a career military guy. And, you know, I consider we had like a normal, you know, kids go crazy kind of a lifestyle, you know. And, yeah. And, yeah, so, you know, it was nothing remarkable. It was kind of ordinary. But there's some significant events that, you know,

that I do recall growing up. Right. How many siblings did you have? I have an older brother and two younger sisters. Yeah. You described your life as kind of fending for yourself when we were talking yesterday. As you got a little bit older, especially preteen, you said your dad was at work a lot. What did your dad do for the military?

Yeah, so, you know, a military. lifestyle as many military brats know. Usually the parent and even the mother are not there. Right. They're not around. So there's not a lot of parental guidance going on. So it kind of allows you to go crazy, go wild as a young person, right? So that kind of, you know, that was kind of my M.O.

Growing up, you know, just kind of wild and crazy, basically. Yeah. And, you know, elementary school was fun but a challenge. Again, there was no parental guidance going on. So you kind of, you know, as siblings, you kind of fin for yourself, basically. So was there not really a big promotion of education? There was not. Which is interesting, right?

Because my family, siblings and everybody are fairly educated, highly educated. very successful. Yeah, yeah. Your father and your older brother ended up going to Vietnam. Yes. What did that feel like initially? Yeah, let me get some recall there.

I do clearly remember, you know, my father being in Vietnam and not being around, basically. And my brother, when he decided to join the army, it was kind of shocking. because back then you could join when you were 17, you know, and you could sign up when you were 17. And he did, and when he told, you know, me and the family that,

I kind of knew, like, there was going to be nobody around, you know, but me. And my two sisters and my mom. So, yeah, it was kind of like, you know, what the hell are you doing, you know? But I understood. Yeah. Yeah. Were you worried about his safety? I was more worried about, you know, our safety, you know what I mean?

Because as a big brother, I mean, no father around, there's a big brother. He kind of looked over everything, right? He was kind of the rock in the family, so to speak. Yeah. So with him gone, that kind of changed the dynamic, I guess, of the family? It did. It did. You know, you kind of feel a little more responsible.

You know, you start to feel like, hey, if, if, you're, you know, If I don't do this, it's not going to get done kind of a thing. How old were you? Yeah. How old were you? Like, you know, 12, 10, 12, 13. Yeah, yeah, 14. Wow.

When I turned 15 and my brother, that's when he joined the Army. Wow. Right. So it was between, you know, 10 and 15 years old. And how old were your sisters at that time? They were like 2 and 4 years younger. so yeah they were younger yeah.

It was babies. Yeah. Wow. So how does that feel to suddenly have to be the man of the house? You know, I don't know if I really gave it a lot

of thought, to be honest with you. It was just what happened, right? And what I recall as you know, being kind of a young teenager with, you know, kind of making up your own decisions on a daily basis, right? And it allows you to get into

trouble basically, you know, not really paying much attention to school, for example, and then maybe hanging around with the wrong people and, you know, kind of just getting in, you know, trouble, you know, yeah. So would that, so that kind of happened started in your early teens? It did. Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned yesterday, as a teenager, you lost your best friend.

Yeah, yeah. You're only teens. Yeah, we did talk about that. His name was Jay, Jay Burns, and he was killed in a car accident. And the reason I mentioned that, Mark, is because that was a significant, you know, kind of a wake-up call for me. It happened when, like, 15, 16, you know, years old, and he was about the same age. and you know he was he was just you know crossing a road and a car ran over him at a skating party you know the whole group was at a skating party and and I was supposed to be at the party

with him and we were always together and I kind of felt like you know why him and not me I kind of felt maybe a little if I'd have been there you know maybe it would have been different you know and those kind of thoughts were kind of happening but at the same time he had older brothers and we were friends as well so

we kind of navigated that loss but it kind of really stuck with me in terms of you know how fragile things can be right yeah so I do recall that so you feel like your life kind of spun out of control a little bit more after that happens?

Yeah, that's a good observation, yeah. It did, you know. I became less interested in school. You know, kind of illegal drugs kind of entered the scene, you know. And just, you know, just a whole lot of being irresponsible, so to speak. Yeah. Yeah, it's natural trying to escape that trauma. Yeah, just trying to escape that trauma.

to live day to day without any focus. No focus. Right. How old are you when your brother and your dad came back from Vietnam? Well, I was maybe 17. not really, 18. My brother was in Vietnam at the time.

And my father had already basically began his retirement. He was stateside. And he had moved on. When my brother got out of the military, we were already living in different places. Yeah. You know, so. So your parents were separating at the same time?

Yeah, it's like, you know, he would come back. You know, he would take leave. My brother would take leave from the military. and he would come home and then he would go back to Vietnam. So he went back and forth three times. So there was different episodes then, you know, and different states as well. A lot going on.

Yeah, a lot happening. And then you turned 18. It was a pretty big turning point. A couple of big things happened when you turned 18 or huge turning points in your life for the positive. Can you tell me about how you met your wife? Yeah, so I met her at a Rod Stewart concert. And I was just visiting.

I was in Nebraska at the time. And I was just visiting New England. And we were, I went to a Rod Stewart concert in Hartford, Connecticut. And the thing about, you know, concerts is if you want to meet a girl or a guy, usually a girl, you go to a bathroom line. Because the bathroom line for the women is always a mile long. So you could actually, you know, talk to, you know, girls. And I was saving a place for a friend that was with the group.

And where I was standing, my wife cut through the line is the way I was. remember it. She might remember it differently. And then I said hello and she said hello. And we just started a relationship. At first it was long distance because we were in different states. She was in Connecticut. I was in the Midwest.

And then you know, we kind of dated for six years before we got married. Wow. Yeah, yeah. That's incredible. And I guess you still listen to to Rod Stewart? the crooner

Rod Stewart the crooner he's great he just never seems to get old you know that's awesome yeah yeah so also when you were 18

you were introduced to Buddhism yeah yeah so you know I wanted to mention that when I was in the ninth grade I quit school it was part of that

turbulence with my friend getting, you know, in the car accident and stuff. And I had an opportunity to go to a place called the South Carolina Opportunity School. And it was a facility that allowed or accepted like disability folks that had disabilities. And it also catered to more kind of elite type. young people that didn't want to spend their time every day in regular high school. And maybe they, you know, they were family business or something like that. And they wanted to finish school, you know, take their G, get their GED, get out and get into the business. And I was kind of fortunate because the person that, excuse me, the person that had the accident, Jay, his mom, sister was married to the center.

in South Carolina. And the senator in South Carolina called the president of school and asked him if me and Jay's brother, older brother Mark, could be accepted. Because at that time, we were hanging around and he didn't want to go to high school either. Because South Carolina schools, I don't want to disparage any schools, but, you know, they're difficult, you know, to stay in. So anyway, we ended up going to South Carolina. opportunity school and we both went there for a year and then took our GEDs and got out. So that was a significant turn in my life as well because it kind of gave me understanding the value of education, right, and kind of not giving up, you know. So I had to actually move away from the family and, you know, you kind of live on your own

in a dorm at a young age, you know, 16 years old. It was a boarding school? It wasn't really a boys' school. Boarding school. Yeah, it was a boarding school. I'm sorry. Yeah, boarding school. So prior to that, so, you know, your dad and your brother had gone to Vietnam,

your best friend had gotten killed, and then you got in a little bit of trouble with the law. Yeah. In between that as well. I did. Your life had really just kind of spiraled. Yeah, that was kind of a wake-up as well, right? Like, okay, it's probably not a good idea to be on the wrong side of the law. if you want to accomplish any of your dreams and goals, right?

Yeah, so it kind of taught me a lesson as well. Yeah. So going to that boarding school for a year and getting your, you know, high school degree, it was a comeback. It was a comeback, yeah. Yes, yeah. Nice. It must have felt really good.

Yeah, yeah. And then I, you know, kind of moved out to the Midwest. and, you know, one of my friends, his father, they were having a meeting, a Buddhist meeting at their house. He was a colonel in the Air Force. And the son asked me to go to a Buddhist meeting, and I went. And I wasn't that interested, to be honest with you. It was Nietzsche and Buddhism, and they were changed.

chanting this chant, Namyoho Rhingi Koe. And when I walked in the room, everybody was chanting, Nam Yoho Ringoi Kelle. And I wasn't really prepared for that, to be honest with you. And, you know, the meeting kind of got over, and then that was kind of the end of it. You know, I didn't pursue anything at that point. But then a year later, I ended up in Massachusetts,

Chickabee, Massachusetts, where I met my wife in New England. And I went to another Buddhist meeting. And I was like 18 at the time. And I went to another Buddhist meeting, and it kind of stuck that time. And I think the reason was because I was pretty much, you know, not in tune with anything. I had no job. You know, I really didn't have a girl.

girlfriend. I had no gas money. I had nothing going on, you know, kind of no hope, you know, as a young person. And just trying to navigate my way day to day. And so somebody said, why don't you try chanting for a job, right? And I said, okay, it doesn't sound right, but I'll try it, you know. And, you know, long, long story short, lo and behold, one of my first benefits were getting a job. And the way it happened, it kind of like, okay, this is too strange. So I'm going to keep chanting, right? And kind of the rest of this history. I've been chanting for 50 years now. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And you've made a, you know, a very successful career. So. Yeah. Yeah. You know, from there, you know, I went to, I got, I got married, started having

kids and I started going to night school and over the next few years I got my bachelor's degree in business and that kind of started my whole business career so to speak

yeah that's incredible that's really that is a real comeback story so you've been married now for 48 years yeah well don't quote me on that number man 48 issues. I think it's 48, 49.

We'll go with 40. We'll go with 49, yeah. Pushing 50. So something clearly works. What is the secret? Yeah. Well, you know, my wife is really kind of, I hate to say my wife. She's really kind of my best friend, right? She's been the person that, you know, I've been able to kind of lean on over the years. I'm kind of a private person.

I don't even know why I'm doing this podcast. You know? I'm advancing. At any way, I'm trusting that you guys are going to like, you know, do the right thing. But, yeah, she's always been there. So, you know, it's kind of like, you know, not really a wife, but partner, you know. And, you know, she's a great mom, you know, really, you know, took well care of the, my kids, you know, and provided a family environment that we really didn't have growing up,

right, that I didn't have growing up. She came from a very tight-knit Italian family, yeah. And that was something I learned as well. It's like, you know, this is really what a family is supposed to be like, you know. Sunday afternoon with Italian bread and spaghetti and meatballs and, you know, drinking Kianti out of a three-gallon bottle. You know what I mean? So, you know, those are the kind of golden memories that you develop over the years.

Yeah. Yeah. So she's been a great partner. And I think the secret is that she gives me a lot of space. You know, she's supported me over the years and all of my, you know, gypsy-like adventures, you know, moving from state to state, you know, kind of chasing a career, you know. That's awesome. Yeah, she's great.

Your experiences as a teenager and a young man, did that give you a different perspective as a father? It did. Good question. It kind of, you know, what I learned, what I appreciate, you know, nothing negative, but what I appreciate about, you know, going through such hard times, it kind of teaches you, like, right from wrong.

Absolutely. Yeah. And some people learn it and some people don't. I was kind of fortunate, you know, I started, you know, waking up, basically. And a big turning point for me, Mark, was when actually, you know, I'm not trying to be cliche here, but it was when I started chanting. It gave me focus, you know? And, you know, the practice actually.

is a daily practice, a very simple daily practice. And when you're chanting, you get focus in your life, right? And you chant for the things you want to see happen in your life. So I had lots of things to chant about. Car, gas money, job, you know, relationship, all of those things. You know, as a human being, you know, all the things we desire, you know. And the fundamentals of Buddhism also, you know, coincide with. putting out love and taking care of people around you.

Absolutely. It's definitely a community. And it's a safe community. And I've been to like many states. And whatever state I go to, the SGI community is very welcoming and very warm. And, you know, and it's not like everybody, you know, practices it's the same way.

It's not different from state to state or country to country, so to speak. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tony, you and I met, I think, about six months ago. We did. When you were looking at Martha Jefferson House. Yeah. Because you were trying to find a place that was good for your sister.

Yes. Your sister was also incredibly successful in her life. She has a PhD in philosophy. Correct. Had a very high-level job, a very successful career. Yeah. And unfortunately, it was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

And when that happened, she was looking out losing her job. Her family, she lost her, her family. And you came. And you've been with her nonstop since. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's highly educated. You know, doctor's degree, two masters, two bachelors, almost like a professional student, basically, you know.

But, you know, always really using her skill sets, her brain and, you know, her knowledge, you know. And, you know, kind of worked her way. She worked for the Smithsonian Institute. And then, you know, in her last position, she worked for the Department of Interior in the energy department. You know, and, you know, where people can, you know, drill for gas and oil on the planet kind of a thing. You know, it's kind of a technical job. Yeah. And, yeah, when she was around 56, she got kind of diagnosed at a young age, right?

It's really young. Yeah. So, you know, and then, of course, you know, the next few years, you know, she was trying to navigate all of that. And, you know, keeping things secret, you know, being very defensive about, you know, the nature of her diagnosis. So she, but over time, you can't really hide a lot of that. At some point, one point, she was in a relationship. And because of her illness, the relationship took a, you know, took a dive, basically. And so that was, they broke off, you know, the relationship.

And then, you know, she was kind of on her own in, you know, in Virginia, D.C. area. and, you know, it just got to the point where, you know, she would get lost, you know, just walking out of her townhouse, you know. And I would get a call from the local police department saying, hey, I got your sister over here. And she's having a Starbucks coffee, but she doesn't know where to go after that. So we decided to, like, move to Charlottesville. So I moved her to Charlottesville. And, yeah.

And so she'd been here about eight years now. now, eight, nine years. Yeah. And so you're suddenly faced with finding her day-to-day care and jumping into the world of long-term nursing care. Yeah. With, well, there's so many layers to it. Yeah, yeah.

Of course, you went for the best of the best, right from the bat. That's right. But you didn't have the greatest experiences for a couple times around. Yeah, yeah. Listen, this whole world or population of aging and dementia and Alzheimer's and those kinds of debilitating diseases really needs a lot of focus, right? I didn't have any experience with it before because my family never had, you know, the family. I've never really, nobody really had dementia, Alzheimer's that I know of. And what I'm learning is that it's kind of a, it's almost a forgotten disease, really,

even though it's popular. And every year, everybody walks for Alzheimer's and everybody walks for all of these disabilities. But the actual day-to-day living, there's a lot of bad actors out there that don't really know how to, treat or interact or kind of deal with folks that have these. And so if you're lucky, you can find a good facility like the Marford Jefferson House that really is very comprehensive, right? 24-7, they have, you know, the staff is always there ready to go. and I feel very fortunate that she's in a place where, you know, it's eyes on, you know.

She's at a point now where she needs a 24-7, even though she's mobile and moving around and, you know, causing trouble. Well, the first couple of places that you had taken her, you know, which I found really remarkable, is you, you know, just put her at a facility and just say, and come visit her. You would come there day to day and make sure that the staff are taking care of. Correct. In the first two places that you put her, you know, you felt like the staff were not living up to the expectations of, you know, how they should be taking care of your sister. And that's remarkable. You never, you know, that's more than a lot of families do. Yeah, you know, if you're not paying attention in this, you know, Alzheimer's universe, right, where your loved ones are living, if you're not paying attention,

in this, you know, Alzheimer's universe, right? Where your loved ones are living. If you're not paying attention, then you're going to miss something, you know? Because it's basically, what it boils down to, honestly, Mark, is the staff on a day-to-day basis that interacts with these residents.

Absolutely. Right? And if the staffing is off, like we went through COVID, right and that's that was a major issue you know the places she was in i mean literally there would be no staffing sometimes nobody on duty yeah i can't imagine right and luckily that between me and you know her companion um you know we covered all the bases on like a on a daily basis right somebody was putting eyes on you know so and that's what you have to do yeah Otherwise, you might not be getting to care that you're told you're going to get.

Yeah. Well, we're happy that we were able to get over to Martha Jefferson House. So am I. Yeah. Because now I feel like, how do you feel like she gets the care that she did? Yeah. Yeah. And we are very fortunate with our staff.

We have a lot of long-term, long-term staff. Great staff over there. And I'm not just saying that because of this podcast. I mean, honestly, I went to three places before I found Martha Jefferson House. You guys aren't the cheapest, right? That's for sure. You get what you pay for it. Right.

So that's the idea, right? If you want quality, you have to pay for it. Fortunately. Yeah, yeah. Which makes sense. It makes total sense. Yeah. since your sister's diagnosis

and now that you are retired and your kids are grown what is your perspective of life now and where do you see yourself five years from now? Yeah, so I don't know where I'm going to be five years from now. I might be five feet under five years from now. Who knows?

But, you know, my perspective on life is like I have a lot of gratitude, I think, is a good word. for, you know, things that have happened in my life. Starting with, you know, practicing Buddhism or, you know, my wife, you know, meeting my wife, and long-term, you know, partner in life. And then having kids. I mean, both my kids are very successful.

Both my sons are very successful. And they have beautiful families, right? and both of my daughter-in-law's are great moms. And then my grandkids are all doing well, you know, and they're all healthy. So from that perspective, you know what I mean? I don't have a lot to complain about. And I'm not going to complain. I mean, I really have tremendous gratitude for, you know,

what my family, you know, has given me, you know, just from being on this. planet, you know. Gratitude is so important. Well, when you look back to your life, what would you say you're most proud of? So, yeah. I kind of just mentioned that.

Most proud of it's like really finishing high school. I mean, I was not a school person at all. So the fact that I actually, you know, accomplished getting my GED was a major win for me because I didn't have a lot of wins up to that point. And then, you know, of course, meeting my wife and then graduating college, right, was a major turning point for me. It gave me confidence that I can survive in the business world, right? Because when you're in a business school, you're interacting with business people.

I said, I can do this, you know. And I kind of worked my way up from being a machine operator. My first job in South Carolina actually was picking cotton or picking tobacco, right? I spent summer after summer just picking tobacco, you know, and made $4 a day. Yeah, all day long and made $4. And if you had a car and you drove people there, they paid you $10, right? So you had people in the car to come pick cotton with you. So that was in South Carolina and I worked in textile mills and, you know, kind of always in manufacturing.

So that's kind of my forte is I retired from a company that made basically filtration for, you know, big filtration units like for hospitals, data centers, you know, casinos, I mean, big air filtration systems. And I was fortunate to work for them. It was a good career. And I got to travel, you know, all over the place. working for them. It was a great experience, you know, met a lot of good friends and, yeah. You know, lots to be proud of.

Yeah. And last question. Years from now, when your family, your sons, your grandchildren, think about you, what do you hope they remember? Papa. Love to be with Papa.

You know, that's really what it's all about. I mean, that's really the highlight. When you get to be my age, you know, I'm 72 now, You know, you really, those moments with the grandchildren are really special. And I know your dad has, you know, lots of grandchildren, and I'm sure he feels the same way. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

I'm kind of representative of the grandparent community. Yeah. You know, we all love our grandchildren, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tony, thank you so much. Yeah. This is great.

Of course, yeah. My name is Mark Hunt. This is a life unedited, a podcast where I get. to sit down with remarkable people like Tony. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Hey yeah. How'd that go?