The Iced Coffee Hour - Bobby Lee on Relationships, Making Millions, & Not Giving A F**K

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

Protect your privacy with DeleteMe at https://www.joinDeleteMe.com/ICH20 and get 20% off your plan with code ICH20 Start creating high-quality content easily with Streamyard: https://clickurl.ca/ICH-StreamYard Bad Friends: https://www.youtube.com/@UCRBpynZV0b7ww2XMCfC17qg Tigerbelly: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A Bobby: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ NEW: Join us at http://www.icedcoffeehour.club for premium content - Enjoy! Add us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jlsselby https://www.instagram.com/gpstephan https://www.instagram.com/alex_nava_photography Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeBQ24VfikOriqSdKtomh0w For sponsorships or business inquiries reach out to: [e-mail] GET YOUR FREE STOCK WORTH UP TO $1000 WITH OUR SPONSOR PUBLIC - USE CODE GRAHAM: http://www.public.com/graham MY NEW COFFEE IS NOW FOR SALE: http://www.bankrollcoffee.com/ Timestamps: INTRO: 00:00 Ranking Our Sizes: 02:45 Best Openers When Meeting New People: 04:48 Moving Out Of LA: 05:58 The Different Types Of Homeless: 07:07 A Natural Segue: 09:12 Finding Your Perfect Someone: 14:36 What Bobby Finds Attractive: 18:36 Real-Talk Hypotheticals: 19:45 Drinking With Two Hands: 23:12 How Bobby Is So Shameless: 27:34 Doing Edgy Comedy In Today's Social Climate: 34:39 How Natural Is Bobby's Comedy: 38:34 How Bobby Has Made It SO FAR: 39:42 Siamese Twin Solutions: 43:58 The 2 Girls That Scammed The World: 47:25 How Bobby Deals With His Money: 48:44 Where Bobby Gets His Work Ethic: 57:36 Getting Hired By The People: 01:01:41 Suffering To Make It Big: 01:09:32 The Equipment used: https://tinyurl.com/y78py5g2 Audio Equipment Used In Podcast: Shure SM7B mics, cloud lifters, rodecaster pro audio interface The YouTube Creator Academy: Learn EXACTLY how to get your first 1000 subscribers on YouTube, rank videos on the front page of searches, grow your following, and turn that into another income source: https://bit.ly/2STxofv $100 OFF WITH CODE 100OFF For Podcast Inquiries, please contact [e-mail] *Some of the links and other products that appear on this video are from companies which Graham Stephan will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. Graham Stephan is part of an affiliate network and receives compensation for sending traffic to partner sites. The content in this video is accurate as of the posting date. Some of the offers mentioned may no longer be available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amazon presents Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. I got all Fs in high school.

I went to four rehab. I have no skill set, whatever. The only thing I know how to do is just to put one foot in front of the other and say, I think that's the only thing I did right in my life. Look at me right now, dude. Would you ever make love to a dwarf? So you probably seen Bobby Lee in quite a few clips. He's probably the funniest person I've ever met.

And so here's his incredible life story from start to finish. And I guarantee you'll be laughing. As soon as you hit the subscribe button, by the way, because we want to get to a million subscribers by the end of the year, and you can help get us there. Right now, just hit the subscribe button would mean the world to us. Anyways, guys.

Thank you so much. Let's begin. Although, before we go on to that, you've probably seen those YouTube videos of people exposing scam artists who use fishing attempts to steal identities. And what do all those videos have in common? Well, they target the old and my housemate Kevin.

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or use the promo code, ICH20, to get an exclusive 20% off all consumer plans. Again, that's code ICH20 at JoinDeletMe.com. Protect yourself and stay private with Delete And now let's get back to the podcast. Thanks for having me on. Thank you so much for coming on. This is so exciting for us, honestly.

So we listened to four hours straight of you in the car at 2X speed. So we've just heard eight hours of you. Would you watch bad friends? I thought a little bit of bad friends. We did Impulsive. We also, we did Lex Friedman, which was amazing. That one was awesome because it's very different than a lot of the other podcasts you've been on. He's very analytical.

Obviously, it was hilarious, but it wasn't around like funny stories and stuff like Which I loved. Theo Vaughn. And then some of impulsive. Some of impulsive. Yeah. With the Jake Paul. Mm-hmm.

Ron Paul. What's it? Logo Paul. Logo Paul. Logo Paul. Logo Paul. No, those guys are good. You know, he's got a big penis.

I assume. You know, I didn't see it. But let me rank penis size. May? Sure. Yeah, yeah. On her. I don't know if we know.

I do. I know. How could you tell? 13.5. Yeah. The way I know 13.5. At least. Right, right.

Okay. Yeah. Number one. Yeah. Two, three. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what you said on impulsive?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said penis size is directly related to stature. To size. That was you, right? No, I never said that. You said that. I'm pretty sure you said a quote. Don't quote me on it.

Let me tell you something about science, my friend, all right? You think Yao Ming has a small. It's proportional to the body. I think you said to that. But also, look, I make things about that. I don't know anything. You said Yao Ming. Do you think Yao Ming, with a size 16 foot, has a small penis?

No. That came up on conversation. No, yeah, that's my point. My point is this, okay? When they stay, like, you know, the stereotypes that, you know, there's a stereotype. They say, they say Asian men have small penises, and I'm, you know what I mean? I think you should go by your foot size. I have nine, right?

So women think mine's average. I have nine feet. You have 14? Awesome. What's your size? Foot size? My foot size is about a 10 and a half. Nice.

Yours? Eight. Eight. I beat you You're fourth in the room You're fourth in the room It's so sad It's that impossible

We gotta bring Eric in here So he takes Yeah yeah yeah yeah Well he's Japanese What is he? I don't know Oh gosh we should probably know Stop so stop

You don't know The ethnicity Of a man that you're working with I think he's Chinese That's insane That's insane No no we don't work with him It doesn't matter

The first thing you ask is What are you? I just I never ask I don't see color. It doesn't matter to me. Should I ask that to Jack? Is that you like, Jack, what are you?

No, not him. No. Because he's white. But it could be like, you know, We don't care. No, I'm Jewish. Croatia. I don't care.

He's white. There could be a lot of things. So this is what you ask him when he comes back in the room. And they love it. We love it. All right. Just listen, what kind of Ching Chong are you? They love it.

They love it. It works. It's so good. In fact, if you go to Japan, there's a manual. right? And that's the first thing that's on the manual. What kind of ching chung are you? Yeah, yeah. Do you think that you look Korean?

Are you fucking son of a... I'm curious. I'm just curious. What kind of games are you playing right now, dog? I know you're Korean. What could it? What kind of? You're acting so fucking January 6th right now, dude? No, no, I'm very close friend of mine.

It's also Korean. A super close friend of that. And I don't look it? I don't look it. I don't look Korean. Do you fuck? What do I look like then? What does he look like?

What do I look like then? I think it's some... I mean... Do you spit it out on this, man? No, no, no, no, no, spit it out. Spit it out. Let's be real. To be honest... I want to have a good relationship with you.

Okay, to be honest, when I see you... Sorry, I got angry, sorry. I think more so Japanese. Wow, that's so... Oh, my God, that hurts. It's amazing. Is that painful? Well, I mean, the Japanese is oppressed Korea for very many, many years.

But you know what? I'll go with it. In fact, I'm 10% Japanese. I did that 23 and me. I'm not necessarily wrong. You're not necessarily wrong. wrong. Right. Where's the Ching Chang at? Eric? Yeah, he's out of the room.

All right. So, um, how many, like you guys live in Vegas, right? You live there too? Yeah, I live in Vegas. We initially lived in Santa Monica together and then we moved to Vegas together. Why? Because of the taxes? That was a big part of it. Yeah. It's also really nice there. Like, I feel like LA's kind of been going downhill. What do you think about that? I'm not moving. I don't care what you guys say. I don't care what Joe Rogan or anybody says to go to Austin. I'm not leaving L.A. But has it gone downhill? Like we're driving through downtown. Eagle Rock. And I was telling Jack,

the last time I was here was like 10 years ago driving through Eagle Rock, it got bad. Like some of the buildings were like half kind of like dilapidated graffiti everywhere,

people like roaming the streets in the middle of the street. I never remembered it like that. Yeah, but that's why I don't go there. Where do you go? Just in my neighborhood. Oh. Yeah.

You can't really, you know, have an opinion about things that you don't actually see. So you just block it. Yeah, back, like, let me just say something, okay? When they said, Remember back in the day there's blood and trips, dog?

What's up? I feel like this still exists. Yeah, I know, but I never went to, so I just didn't. Because I never went to Watts or Compton, right, and checked it out. You know what I mean? I just don't pretend that it's there, really. Like, you ever get, I didn't even go there, man. Those are the worst kind of homeless.

What's the difference between Venice? Well, because the ones in Venice think they have talent. Hey, me check me out. Right, and then you're like, here's a dollar. What was that? Hey, you check me out. You have the way. What? So you have been in Venice.

Yeah, and they start cap dancing, but you're like, well, they have some sort of instrument that, like, man out of, you know, tin and, you know what I mean? Glass. The paint cans. I don't like that. So they think they have talent. Got it.

You know what I mean? Which they probably do for their level, you know? What do you think? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think what I'm saying when you're there.

The thing is what it is. Yeah. When you go down there, you know, you see the guy with the electric guitar. Oh, yeah. The rollerblades, right? Yeah. Yeah, the electric guitar guy, he's pretty good. He's been there since I was a kid.

But he's like the Denzel of that. Yes. I feel like it's the drummers. That's one of them that I'm like questionable. I mean, you could just be hitting him at some random tempo. I really don't know. Right. But the guitar is, you can't fake that, you know?

Right. How do you feel about the silver dude that's like frozen? I don't see him. Oh, that's Santa Monica. Yeah, but do you like that guy? Not necessarily. I do. He's not, what problems is he causing?

Because it's the same thing every single. Like, you can go to Vegas and you see the same silver guy. You know. You know you're going to say it's hacking. And you know exactly. They're just sitting. It's hacking. Really what they're doing is just sitting.

They are very uncomfortable. So there's something going on there. Why silver though? Why can't you be another color? I've seen gold. Yeah, yeah. What about it brown? That'd be cool.

I think that would be questionable. Which brown? Well, you know, 2023, the, what? What do you even? If you're painting yourself with a dark, what are you painting yourself with a dark color, isn't that kind of going against what everyone? Or you're saying that's like a black face kind of thing?

In a sense. You're right? I would not have to be it to silver then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's silver. Anyway. I'm curious. How did you get, let's shift focus here.

How did you get started in common? Oh, come on. Really? Yes. We're doing that right now. Yeah. If you don't want to talk about that, that's totally fine. I want to, no, I like it.

Okay, cool. But no, I don't. How about this? Let's segue into it in a natural way. Okay, sure. Because I was kind of like, you know, we're going to this street. And then you're like, let's take a laugh. How about this?

You're obviously a funny guy. We've laughed more in the first 10 minutes of this than any other podcast. Have you always been funny? Was it something that you learned to be funny? It's not, it's not funny. I just like, what I do is I just kind of just talk. You know what I mean? I don't think it's funny.

I'm just a weird guy, I think. It's a skill. Is it? I can't be. I cannot be funny like that. Like if I tried, I would embarrass myself. I honestly don't think I'm being funny. I honestly don't think I'm being funny right now.

The whole room is laughing, though. Yeah, but I don't know why. Because you're. Funny. Well, let me say that. Am I the little guy? Is that why? No. I'm the little agent guy, funny guy. I honestly didn't even take. I'm a clown. Is that what I have? No. No, I'm kidding. But no, I, listen to me, man. You get a lot of girls? Me? Yeah, yeah. To be honest. You have a girlfriend? No. Why? I don't have a girlfriend. Do I get, I don't say get a lot of girls. I do my best. And occasionally, I'll get dates. Yeah. But I would say I do worse than you would probably imagine. Okay. So this year, I don't have a lot of girls. I do. I do a lot of girls. Okay. So, so this year, how many girls have you smashed? Zero. Well, Christian, huh? No. You tried? Yeah. No, no, no, no. Hold on. No, no. Pause. I didn't try to smash.

Yeah. I, you know, I try to have a loving relationship. Oh, Jesus Christ. What? But here's the thing that it's, it's hard. And also, I will say, how old are you? 24? Guy. Guy. I don't find a lot. Guy, guy, guy, guy. This is the age to do it. Because let me just say something, guy. All right, when I was in my 10-year relationship, the thing that was in the back.

back of my mind was like, I should have done it more in my 20s. Why can't you now? I am doing it now. How is that? How is that? I love it. Is that good for you? It feels good.

So you... Feel so good? How are you good with the ladies? What do you mean? How are you good with them? Like, what is it? Like, what do you find them? Yes.

Straight down. Downtown, the home. No, no, I know. The one. You know the silver one, Jeff? The silver one. The silver one. The electric guitar guy.

No, what I'm saying is this, be real, let's be real. Because I don't, you know, when I was in my 20s, I was too afraid to even go for it. Because the rejection really hurt. And now I think I just don't really care that much anymore. Like I've had girls go, hey, you want to hang out? And I've heard, I've had girls go, ew. Now, we're not going to, I just move on. They said you to you?

Like, ew. Yeah. In Hawaii. I swear to God it happened. I was in Hawaii, bro. I'm walking down the street. This blonde girl, because she's from Oklahoma. How old is she?

She's white, probably anywhere between 25 and 35. Okay. Is that pretty good? Yeah, that's great. And then her friends, like, she's like, oh, can I get a photo with you? And I go, yeah. And then her friends were like, like, ooh. They said, ooh, who's that guy?

Right. And she's, oh, he's a comic, this and that. And they go, is that you're going to be your future. your husband to the blonde girl and she goes, ew, a bigger, I took the photo when I left. I will say this much. I think you can turn those views.

I am, though. No, you're not. I am. I don't see the you. Yeah. No. Like, what do you mean by that? Do you mean like, like,

well, to some, I'm pretty ooh, probably. And to some, I'm ew as well. Right. And then there's some, there's some girls are ooh to me, right? So I think we're at understanding. So we're very good up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ying and the yin.

The yin and the yin. Yeah. I think that you can turn some of those ooh encounters. Like, you can just keep persisting and being the best person that you can possibly be. And I feel like after enough time, once you've proven yourself to somebody, you think there needs to be that upfront chemistry. It's got to be some. Nope. Because we're talking about two different games.

Okay. You're talking about finding the love of your life. Right? And I'm talking about smashing. There are two different games. Got it. Yeah. Yeah.

But actually, to be honest with you, I think, I think I like somebody right now. Really? I do like somebody, and that's what I'm going to say. Although, you know what, while we're on the topic of being a creator, I got to say, I know how overwhelming it could be to see all the equipment that's out there and think, oh, I got to spend thousands of dollars to get started up. But thankfully, our sponsor, Streamyard, is there to help.

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And back to the episode. Interesting. I guess what sort of qualities do you like about a person like that? I like the opposite of what I am. I'm a dirty ethnic bastard. You know what I mean? I spit in the Coochee. I do.

I spit around the Coochee and I don't apologize for it. right and they go what ew i don't care i mean but i like the opposite i like ones that are like that say ooh oh no that don't say you i like i like the ones that are like i go to church i wake up at eight in the morning i do yoga you know i mean and then i you know i take my son to school

you know what i mean there's normal normal people you know i don't want anyone to spit on me back i will say and then it becomes a weird thing you know what i mean so it's like no i like the opposite of like who i am you know because I'm a creature of the night and I want an angel of the day good yin and yang yeah thank you yin yin yeah

I think that makes sense I feel like that's a lot of guys just in general are attracted to like the proactive woman who like gets up early and like you know takes a kiss to school they go to activities they have their own life like I feel like those are just generally accepted attractive qualities in women yeah yeah yeah I want you to say a sof to me assau assol good what does that mean I don't know but it's Asian and I love It's going to be some slur or something.

No, no, no, no. I think it's a hello. I think it's a yes or something in Japan. Yeah, I mean, but right now, because I was in a 10-year thing, I'm not really eager to rush into another long-term thing, right? I just, you know, I just, you know, I just, I just try to figure, I'm trying to, I think I'm in a new metamorphosis in my life. What did you learn from that relationship?

What did you learn from that relationship? Well, first of all, I love her still. Yeah. You know, we have a podcast together called Tiger Belly, and I love her immensely. She's my best friend. I learned a lot. I learned that I can love somebody, you know, unconditionally, even if sex is not involved, really. And I trust her, like, family.

You know, I really do. I love her. I love her whole family. And I don't really learn anything really. Oh, he's fucking. That is way too funny. That was like the most politician to answer. Yeah.

It's like Philip offering this whole thing going on this long steel. I'm sorry. Let's do it again. No, about my point, but I do love her. And, you know, I'm going through something right now in my life. And I, you know, I've been chasing this dream and, you know, for a very long time. And, you know, it hasn't panned out the way I thought it was going to pan out. In many ways, it's better

than I ever thought it would ever be. It's a nightmare as well. But I don't know. I just need a change. I don't know what it is. Could be Vegas. It could be. And when Polly was living there, I was thinking about going. You know, Polly sure lived there for a bit. Yeah, but yeah, I mean

you know, but check this out. Me and Andrew, Santina, are doing eight shows in Vegas. We got a kind of a residency at a casino. Which casino? We still weren't the negotiations, but I know, because we haven't fucking done it yet. I'm sorry.

I get so angry. I get so excited. I know, you know what? I should calm down. No, no, keep it up. You know what, guys? Let's namaste. Namaste, namaste.

Yeah. I look your little hands. Thank you. They're so cute. They're proper. They're so cute. Holy shit. They look like, you know, like cabbage patchy.

Is that? I don't know. Anyway, you have a girlfriend? A fiancé. Ooh, la la. Yeah, yeah. And how long were you dating before you asked? How long has it been?

Three years. Actually, the three years on the day. Yeah. I proposed. Wow. And what did she do? Right now she's doing some personal training. Oh, she's hot.

Yeah, she's hot. Good body. Great. Is she taller? Yes. You know, it's so funny. How tall are you? Like five, four.

Yeah, me too. Me too, right? Six foot. Yeah. But it's, you've always dated girls taller, right? I mean, everyone's tall. than me. So it's... I know, but if you saw like four foot six girl, no. Hey, buddy. Hey, man, you want to hang out, man? I mean, you wouldn't do it, right?

Not that that's what their voices are like. Everyone's just coincidentally been taller. It's not really been by like a choice. It's just like everyone is typically taller than me. I know, but you, are you attracted to taller women as what I'm asking? Overall, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because are your parents? I didn't know that, really? You like taller women? Yeah. I think they got a little height. But yours? You're shorter women? I prefer shorter women. Yeah, but I'm also. How are you? I'm six one. Which shoes on?

I'm six feet. Would you date a dwarf? Probably not. Let that sink in. Why not? Would you? Well, if their personality's great. Me too.

If they're personally, look. Okay, to be completely fair and honest, this is my honest answer. I don't know what you're doing right now, but you're panicking. Here's a deal, dude. Here's a deal, dude, all right?

There's no shit. I mean, you like what you like, right? So it's like, would you, look at me right now, dude. would you ever make love to a dwarf? Something about you is so comforting, to be honest.

Yeah, my answer to that is yes. You would? I think I would. You know, can I say this too? Let me say this, right? You're a lying bastard. I'm not. I swear I'm not.

I'm really... You're a fucking piece of shit right now. I'm not! You're acting like a piece of... No, no. What you're doing is a piece of shit move, right? And I like it. But you know what, dude?

Why don't you speak your mind? I really would. Here's the thing. Let me explain this to you. Who? If I really actually did connect with him on an emotional level, I really, I would. And here's the thing. I will say this about you.

I really, what I admire about you is. How about, let me finish. Go ahead. Would you make love to a woman with gigantism? That one? She's seven, six. Do I get along with her perfectly? Like, she's seven, six?

Like a, you know what I mean? Like a wrecking ball. She got Rob Grunkowski's hand. You know what I mean? And she's just like, what's up? You're made? And like, look at me in the eyes, dude. Would you make love to a woman?

Yeah, yeah. Come on. At that point, if she had had like a ranking ball, I would probably. No, gigantic. Just a average woman with gigantism. Would you make love? Great personality. Will you guys share?

Are you kids at the same hobbies? You guys really laugh it up. You really get along. I would. I would. No. I swear I would. If I really connect with her on that deep level.

Let's go further then. Let's go further. I'll go further. Right. Would you date if they existed? Now we're going mythological. A minotaur. Would I date a minotor?

Yeah. What is a minotaur? You know, that's fucking fucked up. That's not a human. At that point, yeah, dude. A minotor is a huge hole. Your race is against mythologicals, dude, and I don't fucking like it, though. I honestly, I like, yeah.

I like mythological creatures a lot, but I don't find... Guess what a minotaur is? You just did a bull of some sort, right? You don't know anything about mythological creatures? No. I'm going to throw some... You're way, okay? So a minotaur is what?

It's a bull body and human legs. Do you know that? No. Have you seen that in any movie or anything? No. All right, let's go. Centaur. What's a centaur?

I don't know. I know. It sounds like... You know what, do you and I? Let me say something. If I was a woman, right, I think we would. Because we have the same kind of... I like it, I like it.

I do like mythology. I like Percy Jackson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You read that? No. Oh, I was going to say, that would be crazy. I just move on, but you don't know what a centaurus? It's a horse's body and a body and a human body.

Usually they have a bow, bow, bone arrow. Well, then you know, man. Do you know what a sater is? I don't know what that is. A sater is goat lower half. Yeah. And human upper half. Whoa, Sater.

I've never heard of that. Yeah. And you could come. cover yourself up if you're a sater just with some pants. Yeah. And no one would ever know. Mongoloid? I don't know if I've ever heard of a mongolid.

I can't believe you said I had like a wrecking ball still to be honest. Anyway, so you don't like fantasy or sci-fi or anything? No, not really. So in the movies, you've never seen like Lord of the Rings? I've seen Lord of the Rings. I like that. You do? Potter is great.

Oh, so you do like it then? I just don't know the names. Like, you just throw out these names. I just don't know what they are. Do you usually drink cups with two hands? I'm just curious. I don't mean that in any way. It's just an honest question.

Yeah, I do. What of it? Need a vehicle that isn't afraid to make a splash? That's the Volkswagen Touse. Capable and confident, the Volkswagen Touse is fit for everyday life. Nimble in traffic, agile and tight spots, and still spacious enough for weekend getaways. While available 4-motion all-wheel drive gives confidence in rain and snow. The capable Touse, you deserve more confidence.

Visit vW.ca to learn more. SUVW, German-engineered for all. I'm just curious because I've personally, I haven't seen... You're a one-hand guy? I am a one-hand guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you opt for the two-hand method instead? Well, I saw Trump do it once, drinking water.

He used both hands, and I'm like, that's a good way to do it. He's such big hands, though. Yeah, I know, but still he was like shaking and he was drinking. It was great. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know why, but I just do. Okay. It's not your business.

That's good to be here. Thank you for coming. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this. Your parents are still together. They are. You are not. Correct.

How do you do this? I could just look at it. No, you are so innocent and pure and kind of like unreal in many ways. You're very like, you shouldn't exist, right? Mormonesque almost. I know you're Jewish. I'm not religious. I know you're Jewish.

Well, I'm like biologically, yes, because my mom is Jewish. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not, I didn't grow up religious at all. Yeah, but you just look like an Americana, just in well-nature and young man. Thank you. you, man. Right. There's something about you. There's an edge about you and there's something about you that's, um, Slytherin. Yeah, there's, you know, I did one of this Facebook quizzes, like, which Harry Potter are you? Yeah. It was slither. I know it was. Yeah. You know, I'm Hufflepuff.

Nice to meet you. Well, can I just ask you really quickly, would you make love with a centaur? Well, do you, I've never seen a female centaur, so no. What about a, would you make love with a Montour? What is it called? A Montour. A Montour? What is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the A bull one. Minotaur. Minotaur. Would you ever make love with a minotaur? I've never seen a female minotaur either.

But if hypothetically, I mean, they probably do exist because, you know what I mean, how do they have kids? Isn't a bowl just male? Yeah, it is. It is. That's a good point. That's a good point. But if there was some sort of thing, like, you know what I mean, he was transitioning. Identifies.

He identifies as a woman, right? And he, you know, he got the operation and stuff, right? So I go, oh, look at the bull, you know what I mean? And then I look at the badge area and I go, oh, looks nice. You know what I mean? And I know it's this, you know what I mean? Bull penis cut in half and tucked in satisfied. But that sounds good to you.

I mean, it would have to be like the best looking vagina I've ever seen for me to like. Because you're still looking at the, you know, the bull half when you're making love, you know? Yeah. So no, I don't think so. No, let's go human though. Ask me some humans. Sure. Okay. Would you make love with a quadriplegic? Explain to me what that is.

That means you have no limbs, no arms, no legs. Well, I thought that's just you can't move your arms, your legs, quadriplegic. Yeah, yeah. Know what the fucking thing is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, let's just say you have no arms and legs. Just don't use the terminology because you don't know the term. Okay. I really thought that was, I really thought, you know, you sound ridiculous. Go ahead. Okay, someone without legs and arms. Can I ask some questions? Yeah. Were they born without them?

No. Or did they lose it in a war? They lost it. In a war? No. How? They were riding their bike and they got hit by a car. They lost their arms and legs were riding a bike?

It was really tragic. Brutal. It was brutal. It was brutal. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? So that's your logic.

Here's the problem, though, with that. It's not that I'm not going to be sexually attracted to them or, you know what I mean? We're not going to get along. It's just, I'll end up being like, they're, rickshaw almost like carrying them around everywhere, you know what I mean? Yeah. I just don't like that aspect of it. Like I got to go to the bathroom.

You know what I mean? And then you got to, you know what I mean? Right? Because someone with no arms and legs what do they just? How do they Yeah, and then they're like around the house just slithering or you know what? That would fucking weird. No? Right or no? I mean, you'd have to carry them around.

Slyther, you know? That's slither, but like, what do you do? When you roll. Oh, that's even weirder. They're just rolling around the house. That would be fucking weird. But I would have to pick them up. I think that's, oh, you know what?

I would create a harness. Like a backpack. Something like that or like more of a kangaroo thing. A front pouch. Like a front pouch. Stick them in the front, right? And we can go ATV, you know, do something, right? You know what I mean, yeah.

I do want to mention this. Go ahead. That what I admire about you a lot and something I'm trying to learn from you is how are you so shameless. And because I've realized. throughout my life, I've been subjected to a lot of judgment from random people. This guy, one of the most judgmental people I've ever met in my entire life. You see judge you, yeah.

And I do, sometimes, like, you noticed it earlier how I felt like I was kind of like wondering what the best thing is to say, because for fear for judgment, because I've had it. Well, you edit this podcast, right? We do. Yeah. Well, then you can say whatever you want. You can just edit it out. But I don't want to.

The more we include, the better. Yeah. We edit out 40% of every podcast. Do you really? Okay. So we, I talk to so many other podcasters, very few other podcasts. is edit out that much. Like, we edit out maybe 20% of most podcasts.

So I'm curious, what's said that makes you edit it out? That's what we edited it. I can't say it. Could you give us a hint? No, no, no, no. Is there anything you disagree? In your mind, imagine. Yeah, yeah.

Like, what would get flagged on YouTube? So that's the metric. It's just like, hey, would this get flagged? When we make money, you know, right? You know, I mean, there was a time in, in comedy, where you could say whatever you want, and there were no consequences. And there's so many deep consequences now.

And, you know, I've gotten in trouble for it. So it's just like, I just, I mean, it sucks. You know, I mean, you can't say what you want to say. And regardless of it's wrong or right, I mean, you just kind of explore different ideas. But I have never heard, I've never really seen people get so like uptight or sensitive as they are today as they were back then. I mean, you have like the Eddie Murphy specials and like all of these things. And it seems like people are now going back decades. saying, well, you said this in the 1980s,

and that's unacceptable, and you should apologize for it. Yeah, yeah, it's terrible. But I can't change anything. There's nothing I can do. And so I'm playing by the rules, you know what I mean, that's laid in front of me. And, yeah, I don't know how long, if it gets worse, I don't know how long we can do it.

But right now it's still fine. We can still say a lot of the things we want to say. That's got to make you paranoid, though. Like in the back of your mind, are you constantly thinking like, oh, I can't say that. What you have to do is this. You have to, and this is like pretty serious. And it's sad. You have to let go of the things that they can take away.

Right. So when somebody gets canceled, they go, I'm going to lose this, this, and this. And the reason why they freak out when they're getting canceled is because they want to grab onto this thing that they're going to lose, right? So what I've had to do is like just already have funerals for my other dreams, right? Because it's like, you know, because if they can't take that away, then I'm fine. Yeah. This is real estate guy, Ben Mala, says whatever's on his mind, does not care at all.

People love it. Yeah. But he is like, you know, everything, he is nothing really to gain from anything. So he's just like, you know, I'll say whatever. Doesn't matter to me either way I'm set. Yeah. It's fine. But the problem, though, is that he doesn't have, like, I act.

Yeah. Right. So, you know, I'm on Sex and the City, Reservation, all these shows, right? And those are the things that, you know what I mean, that they can take away. And I love doing those things. I love doing those shows. I love the people I work with. I love the process of acting.

It's a dream of my to do it. But I've had to let it go because they can take it away. You know what I mean? And I'm not going to allow myself, right, to live in fear. Yeah. So I've already kind of like, you know, if I don't act again, I don't act again. You know, if I don't, if certain parts of my, you know, business is dead, you know what I mean, then so be it. Is it, is it the love of doing that sort of stuff that's keeping going?

Or is it like, a dollar amount behind it where it's like, hey, if I had 50 million bucks, I wouldn't care, I'd say whatever. No, it's like a lot of the. No, it's still, like, I mean, I, you know, I love comedy, dude. And I love, I love doing it with Andrew. I love doing it with, you know, my own podcast as well. Um, there's the love, it's the love of doing it, you know, but, um, of course, I mean, you know, you, you do make YouTube money and money, you know what I mean, like you guys do. And, uh, it pays the bills. And that's great. And we're blessed. But, um, but you have to have the love. You have to want to do it. I do stand up every night. I love doing it, you know, um, they can't take away stand up either, which is great. They can't take away podcast. So it's like, um, I don't know, it's been just really interesting. you know, the last couple of years, you know.

It does seem like people just want to get upset at something. What was the wink about? I just felt like it was so serious that I had to do like a little sexual thing to get it going. It does seem like, though, people are just getting upset for the sake of getting upset. Like they want something to be angry at, so they're purposely looking for things to be upset.

Listen, you can be upset, and I'm upset about a lot of things. You know, there's a lot of things that really trigger me and rile me up. I just don't I don't go on in the internet to destroy someone's life right people have their opinions you know I mean

like Taylor Majra Green what's that her name you know who that is I've heard the name but I'm not I don't know who Marjorie Taylor Green is who is that she's Taylor Marjorie Taylor I've never heard of it

I've never no no I've heard her name before what is she then what did she just give me politics right yes there are things about her she says really crazy Q and on you know what I mean kind of things space lasers and all these crazy things.

But I would never like... And I think what she says is totally bad for the country, but, you know, but, you know, I don't want to hurt her. I just disagree. You know what I mean? I think the problem now is it's like, oh, no, I don't like what you said or I disagree with you. So you should no longer make a living.

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You know what I mean? That's rival problem with that. I think disagreeing in silence is just gone now. Like people, they need to have their opinion heard, and they need to, like, morally show their superiority over somebody if the other person has an opinion that they could spin as unethical or something like that. Yeah. But, you know, but then again, it's like, it's fine.

But, no, I mean, it's fine in the sense that, like, you know, I've, you know, if I look back on my life, I'm 51. I'm almost 52 years old, you know. And I've just had a wild ride, man. I've had a great ride. I'm so blessed. I've seen so many things and I've experienced so many things

and I, you know, in trials and tribulations but also I was able to travel the world and your impact on people. Yeah, and do comedy and I have a great fan base. I love them all and I'm so fucking blessed.

So it's like at the end of the day it's like there's really nothing to complain about. You know, there really isn't. You know what I mean? It's a fucking guy over here. Does it concern you at all? And do you think that the

comedy is less funny with these new social restrictions on it? Well, I think, the truth is this. I think that the reason why bad friends is doing so well is because, you know, we, it's the kind of comedy. They just can't put on TV. And, you know, yeah. And, you know, there's a lot of Ivy League's comedy people that don't like what me and Andrew do.

You know, they think it's easy. They think it's just like meat and potatoes and whatnot. I don't give a fuck. Listen, if you don't like it, listen to something else. But it's like, I think that. the reason why we're resonating with a segment of society is because, you know, that's how they fool around with their friends. These are the things that they say, you know what I mean, at home or at a party or whatever, you know what I mean? We're just authentically being, you know what I mean, ourselves, the way we are.

It's funny because, you know, the other day I was at the comedy store and, you know, there was a bunch of comics back there. And I, you know, everyone was just like, the things that we were saying were so funny and crazy and wild and making fun of each other. And I was just basically, like, I stopped everyone. I go, dude, we should just be recording this. Because this is how people talk behind closed doors. You know what I mean? But it's like, you know, you can't do it publicly because people are afraid. But, and television has really gone.

It's not funny. It's just like a cookie cutter. Yeah. Those late night show taco, I have never cracked giggles from those. Jimmy Fallon. No. Jimmy Fallon? Yeah.

As he made you laugh. Probably. Yeah. No. This fucking guy. He goes, no, no, no,

don't fucking touch me. This fucking guy goes, oh, that you know, those late night with Jimmy Fallon and he, because he thinks

Jimmy Fallon's listening, oh yeah, he made your laugh. Okay, but you say, have you ever? Have you ever? Have you ever?

I don't like you, if you asked, if you asked me in the last four years, have I? No. When I was 12, and I was like

just figuring out out of the barrier. That's even more hurtful for Jimmy. Anyway, Seth Myers, as you made you laugh. I don't know.

You don't even know who he is. Wow. I like Jay Leno. I like him. Howard Stern's pretty funny. Yeah, but he's not a late talk show, late night talk show house. He was one of the first, you know, shock jock kind of, you know, DJs. I mean, he, in many ways, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing without him.

You know, he's very important to that, you know. I know it wasn't podcasting, but it was like irreverent, really crazy comedy. His podcast is coming back. I see a lot of clips shown up now of Howard Stern. on TikTok. Yeah, yeah. Beetle juice has made this whole resurgence with him and, like, as memes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you met Beeljuice? No. You haven't? Where would I go? Is he here? I don't know. I'm just wondering because, you know, he's like, have you met Beatles juice?

No. I have not, no, yeah. No. But I don't think he's easy. I mean, have you ever met Vladimir Putin? We could play this game all day long. I was just wondering if you had any, like, and he... No, why would I meet him?

Because he's friends with, like, Stern, who's a comedian, and then, like, I don't know, it's kind of, I don't know, I feel. Let me ask you something. Is Beetleju is a comedian? No, but he's in that group, kind of with Stern, you know? How would I meet him? Be real, though. Let's think about that. Honestly, because he's friends with Stern. I figured that there's probably some... I've never done Stern. I know. Well, I didn't know that, actually, that you'd never done Stern.

I love it. But I feel like comedian. I love it. I don't. No, I think he's just a very frank... He's a comedian. He's not a stand-a comedian. He's just an edgy, shock-jie. He's just an edgy, shock-jid. Who says funny things sometimes, you know. Yeah, I don't think he's a... as a comedian, I wouldn't consider him that, though. But I like your eyebrows.

Thanks, man. You go, man. Do you practice comedy? Is this something you have to work on? Do you come up with, like, jokes? Or is it just on the fly? You just, like, got it. Is that a boring question?

Is that a bad question? Okay, what? So you should practice? How natural is this to you? Of just coming up with, like, just off the rift? I'm not doing anything. Here's a thing. Yeah.

Okay. Is it a natural? It's not natural even. I'll just say something like, thank you for having me on. I really appreciate it. But I want to say this, okay? I'm just talking to you guys.

This is the way I talk. I understand. In my mind, I was like, I'm going to say this because it's going to be funny. I don't do that. I just say whatever it comes through to my mind.

Like, I just make shit up, you know what I mean? Yeah. And people find it funny, but it's not like something like, here's my muscle. You know what I mean?

I'm going to show you that, you know what I'm just like talking. It's just like, I'm just like talking. But when do you realize you have a talent. I don't even think I've been funny this whole episode.

You said the wrecking ball thing, which I still... I know, but to me, to me, it was the way... I saw a guy with Jagantism one thing, and his head looked like a wrecking ball. But that's just like...

I know, but in my mind, I'm like, that, I mean, to me, it's like, that's what it looked like to me. But to you, you thought it was funny. You know,

I did audition a long time ago for Mad TV, which is a TV show sketch, and I, you know, I wrote characters, and so these are things that I can do, I can purposely write something and be funny,

be funny within that parameter, you know? But it's like, right now, you know what I mean? I didn't write any of this now. I'm just talking to you guys. But you're right. I mean, it's like, I've been in for so long. I don't really, really think of it in those terms, really. You know, I just kind of just do.

You know, I'm like the joke or I just do things. You know what I mean? And I just show up to things. The most important thing in life, guys, is to show up and just to do it. Right? Everything else is like, you know, you can do it harder or more perfect, but it's just the whole idea of,

I think the problem we get in our society is people just live in this deep fear that they can't do things, right? And I'm going to tell you guys right now, I literally think I have quarter down syndrome. Like, I really, I'm really dumb, you know. I've never read a book. I got all F's in high school. I went to four rehabs, three rehabs in my life.

Three or four, I don't remember. My point is that, you know, I mean, I have no skill set, whatever. The only thing I know how to do and that I've done right in my life is I'll just try to do it. Yeah. You know, I'll show up at an audition. I'll give it a go. You know what I mean? I'm scared like everyone else. I have fear like everyone else. But instead of like not doing it, I do it. You know, and I think that's the only thing I did right in my life. It's just to put one foot in front of the other and say, fuck it. I'm doing it. And I think in the process of doing that, you get more confident. you know like before I did that you know in my early 20s I couldn't get

any girls or anything I couldn't even like if I got pulled over by the cops I couldn't look them in the eyes I was just so afraid of authority and because my dad was so abusive and stuff and so but then when I was started doing stand-up I realized oh it's just that confidence

seeped into other areas of my life where I could like look at a girl and go hey you want to hang out you know because you know an audience not laughing is a devastating You know what I mean? Rejection, but then once you get used to that and you realize what it is And what it is is is just people's opinions and you can have a bad night and it doesn't kill you

And you know, I mean it doesn't mean anything if you have a you know a rejection doesn't mean anything. Yeah Yeah. Where did the shamelessness come from? Was that something that's shame what's shameless about me? You're not Fear for judgment. I feel like you. Oh, I am. You are? Yeah, but you still do it regardless. Yeah So you overcome that. Well, I mean I don't even know what do you mean by shamelessness? You say things. I that I would not say Like what? Although had like a wrecking box Like the centaur thing

Like I'd make love with a centaur Like how but in my mind How is that bad? It's a question to ask myself At night If I watch Lord of the Rings Right You're like when I have sex with that character

Yeah I'll go I'll go You know I wonder what it would be like To make love to like a group of hobbits The eye of forum How do I get in that That circular door You know me

That's what people call Intrusive thoughts, right? Yeah. So, but you, you give them energy. I mean, you let them foster. Yeah, there's like this TV show called Body Bazaar. I've seen it. I've never seen it.

Yeah, it's on Discovery or something, National Geographic. And it's like, you know, they have little segments of people with like, I'm not making fun of them. And I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm smiling. I'm not going to smile. Yeah.

But you know, like, people that were like, have like a 90-pound tumor coming out of their face. Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing. I'm really not laughing. Yeah, you're smiling.

That's insane, dude. He's laughing. Romulus is laughing. You know what I mean? Or like some kid and some Indian, you know what I mean? And he's got like, I've seen the antlers. Like hands coming out of their heads. They go, hello.

That's so fucked up, dude. That's so insane. You can't do that. It's insane what you're doing, dude. That's like a fucking, they were born like that. Yeah. And they, and they, and they, hello. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So it's like, so I watch that. And I, you know, in my mind, I'm like, I don't know why. But it's like, you even the guy with the two. tumor is like, I wonder what, you know what, you know what, like if it's a woman, if it's a woman with a 90 pound tumor, I go, if there's no tumor down below, you know what I mean? Could you still smell? I mean, I just think of things like that. It's wrong probably, you know what I mean. But you need therapy, did. I do. Yeah, you're mean. Yeah, you make fun of people with mutations and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it's, I was me. Okay. But like, you know, they have like Siamese twins, but real people's lines. Some of those have been, I've questioned the, I've questioned the, logistics of like how that would like the Siamese twins one. What are the logistics? The two girls that are

conjoined at the head they were talking about dating and they were like one of them wanted to date and the other one didn't want to date. And it's like how does that work if one goes out like wants to do stuff but they're conjoined at the head and the other one doesn't want to be a part of it. That's why I developed

a product from them. What's the product? Right? It's a wall but it's cut out right? So they put it between I mean, right? Sure. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

Where they're conjoined? I have a full-blown wall. And I have different styles. I have brick. You know, I have a metal one. You know, I have a wooden one.

You only have one customer now. What? It would just be one customer. A few customers. Well, I custom make them. Yeah, but you can jack up the price as bunch. Yeah. Imagine, so you put a wall between them, right?

And so now that you're going to be like this. And you could do whatever, you know what, are they? Do you have two bodies? Two bodies. Okay, good. Yeah. Well, yeah. So, you know what I mean? They could do what they're doing there. And it's soundproof the wall. How much would it cost? It sounds expensive for a movable wall.

$15,000. What's the profit margin on that? The profit margins on that kind of be. No, I mean, it's cost $2,500 for me. Yeah, but it's $15,000. That's pretty good, right? Yeah, I guess so. It depends on what's not. And we cater it to other people. Like, sometimes it's like, you know what I mean? There's one body and two heads. Have you seen those ones? Okay. I don't think those survive.

I've not seen it too-headed. How one person can have a relationship with somebody else. Because I feel like you'd effectively be having a relationship with two different people. It's difficult, dude. In fact, I would say that it's almost impossible. That's why I created the wall, man. But you're right. It's like, what do you do?

I think what you'd have to do is, I mean, what I would have done? I mean, my brother would be dead. You would eat him? No, he would. He was just to be, like, dead. And I would just go, you know what I mean? Like, I would probably strangle him at night. Wouldn't you kill your other?

That might affect you, too. Yeah, because I think I would ask the doctors. At the doctors, I was like, hey, just supposedly, hypothetically, if Steve died, you know me, wink, wink, right? Would it kill my body? And the doctor goes, I don't think so. I would look at him. Then why wouldn't you just get, why wouldn't you just get cut and just, like, sever the two? He would just be ahead at that point.

Because usually they'd. don't separate them because moving one is going to have the other one. Yeah. This is crazy. What about to say? I think the reason why is because I would want more of the head part. Wait, you wouldn't? I want more of the head part.

You want. Because when you're in surgery, right? In surgery, they'll go 50-50 on the head part that we were sharing, right? Yeah. But I would want a little bit more so I could just have more room to mold, you know what I mean? That opening or whatever. 51 49. No, no, no.

Because he's going to want, you know what, more head part. So I just know this in my mind. You don't want to have a huge team. Right? And then I'm going to be like, I'll go to, yeah, just doctor, you could just cut half of his head

and we'll just mold it, you know what I mean, into my, you know what I mean, after he's dead. That's something like that. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm a thinker to make sense. Yeah, yeah. What an insane idea, huh? Pretty good, huh? I don't think we should make fun of people like that. That's sad. It's hard, right? What are the ones that?

But there was two girls, you mean, I guess they got a driver's license. And one cup. What? And one cup. That was a great movie. What a great movie. Do you see that, Jack? Two girls, one cup?

To me, I feel like you can squirt, like, you know what I mean, things in your butthole to make it look like poo. Yeah. And they can squeeze out, like, you know, icing, chocolate icing. The whole video came out is fake. What? You see that? The whole video, two girls, one cop. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, it's fake. So what I'm saying. They injected. like a fudge. That's what I'm saying. That was just saying that. I know. But I'm extrapolating it. Is that real? Smoothie. It's real. Yeah. Yeah. They drank a strawberry smoothie. Yeah. And then injected

fudge. That's what they did it. Yeah. That's the only way to do it. Yeah. That's the only way to do it. There's no way you could eat poo like that. There's no way. What are you laughing? Just the way you said. There's just no way you could eat pool like that. Right? Would you? I would not. No. Certainly not. Okay. What about this? 20 million to eat my poo. Yeah.

But, dude. That would be a tough day. I mean, a $20 million in a day is pretty... You know, is that weird that you make that kind of money, though? Yeah. That's crazy. You make a lot of money? I make $20 million.

How much do you make? I don't know. You got to have an idea. I don't have an idea. It's like a ballpark. Can we guess? No, I'll tell you why I don't know. I've never asked.

Who do you have to ask? I have a money guy, and when I first signed them 15 years, 15 years ago, I go, I don't want to know how much money I have. I don't want to live in a life in a world where I'm like, always looking at my bank account, worried and this and that. So, I don't know. But the only problem is how much does he take? He takes 2%. Of your income?

Of your income. He has multiple clients then? Millions. No, like really credible ones. So how does it work? Do you just go to him and say, hey, could I afford this today? Or like, if you spend too much, he's like, hey, you got to cut back. No, I call them, like, I called them five days ago.

And I said, I'm thinking about buying a new car. She said, all right, go ahead. It doesn't matter. He goes, no. You got to tell them the price of the car, right? No, a couch. A couch. Yeah, yeah.

Couch. I said, sorry, couch. It could be like a cloud couch, though, 15 grand, or it could be IKEA. Yeah, I could do 15 grand couch. You know what I mean? But you have no idea how much you make. I don't know how much I have either. You know, and like, sometimes Andrew will go, this is what we're making this month.

And I'll go, wow, that's crazy. You know what I mean? but I don't really think about it. Yeah, I mean, I don't really... You curious? No. Is there anything you want to buy you? Because if the numbers is really low, I'll just be depressed and I'll start panicking.

Sure. I need to do more, right? But if you don't know, then you just kind of just, I just live my life. So, okay. You know what if the number is high? What if it's a, like, a big number is like, it's probably high. Yeah. But probably it could be low.

I mean, for me, it's like, I know that like, like I asked my money guy, I go, you know, how long can I not work? You know what I mean? Until I run out of money. Yeah. And he goes a long, long time. So you can go out a long, long time without working, and you'll be fine. You know what I mean?

So as long as I end of that, I'm fine. So basically the way to figure it out, well, I'm not going to tell you. Oh, well. It doesn't matter. Now I can tell you. Okay. You take your expenses. You're going to multiply that by about 30, maybe 33, and that's probably how much money you have.

Your monthly expenses. Sorry, annual, sorry, annual expenses. I don't even know what that is. Okay. I don't know what I pay for my mortgage. I don't know what I pay for my car. I don't know what insurance costs. I don't know what my light utility costs.

I don't know all that's taken care of. Every bill? Every bill. I've never, I don't even know where to phone bill. I don't even know where to go to do it. Kind of sounds nice. I'm not going to lie. Like not have to worry about like ever missing a payment on something.

I don't want to say his name. I'll call my guy and I go, um, dude my car's not my credit card's not working. He goes, what's the problem? He calls. and he goes, oh, well, it's been, you know, hacked or what do you call it? Stolen or something like that. Fraudulent charge.

It's fraudulent. And so you're going to have to use that other card for like a week. We'll get you another one, that kind of thing. But I don't really worry about it. And you tell him the same thing for investing. It's like invest my money for me. Just do whatever you think is best. Safe.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he goes, yeah. And like I know that he bought me many, like 15 years ago, he bought me like a a condo or a apartment complex or something. We went in with a group. Sure.

And it's doing well. I don't know. So I just kind of like let him do it. I don't do. Why do you want to know? Well, I mean, we're a money channel.

Oh, that's kind of what I do. Yeah. That's all you are? Yeah. My, my entire main channel is about like investing, building wealth,

saving money is a big one. So my thing is like people have to attractor. I'm not a financial advisor. But I just kind of tell, I can just give you, go, hey, what do you think of this? You could get my opinion, for sure. Yeah, I'm happy to do that.

I can get your number. Is that what it is? Yeah. No, be real. Yeah, for real. All right. Yeah. They'll be hurtful.

I mean, my stuff is, like, pretty basic. I'm going to say, like, index funds are best for most people. Save your money. Don't buy Starbucks is a big one. Why? Save money. It's a waste. Like, what do you eat coffee?

I'm making it home. Oh, you're one of those guys? Yeah, I am one of those. Like, you don't. No, legitimately. I just, I make coffee at home. You're one of those guys? Gross. I'm really cheap.

Oh, you're so cheap. Oh, I don't want to even... I'm not going to call you. I don't want your number. It's a pride thing. It's fucking crazy. See, I believe if you could save money in the small things, it transfers over to everything else. It's like eating a snack. Like, if you're going to the gym, you want to get in shape, you know, a little snack,

and Eminem isn't going to hurt you. But it's like... It's $650. You wouldn't have bought it? No. Yeah, those are the ones that were. Yeah, those are the ones that was wearing in a 500 bucks. But they were free.

Actually, my entire outfit is free. I say this all the fact. Oh, my God. I wouldn't hate to date you. Oh, my. What do you get your fiancé? What do you mean? For a gift.

For a gift? Yeah. For a gift? Yeah. Why do you make sushi at home? I don't know. I don't really know how to make sushi like that. I mean,

I feel like it's easy. It's a better deal to go and get all you can eat sushi in Vegas for $30 than it is to go to make it at home. It's cheaper. Like we can eat $100. Okay. I want to ask you. Okay.

It's very interesting. Okay. So it's like this. It's like, um, going to, all you can eat sushi you know what I mean at a gas station

or go to Asanaaba which is a they used to be a Michelin Star Sushi restaurant it's really good yeah do you like ice cream this fucking guy this piece of shit right here dude fuck you did

do you like ice cream who the fuck don't like fucking ice cream bro that's fucking ridiculous question man I will say I actually don't like ice cream that much fucking guy it's true

I prefer brownies cookies chocolates and stuff like that Ice cream is too cold and it's hard to eat fast. Oh, you're one of those fast eaters? Oh, I eat so fast. Yeah. You don't enjoy it. I do enjoy it.

No, you don't. You can't enjoy it if you're eating it fast. I enjoy it to a higher degree for a shorter amount of time. I've thought about this. But you don't know how to savor. No. Have you savored? No, I do not.

And you go, wow. He savers. Are you kidding me? I'm the opposite of that. So you got, when you got a very practical eater. If you do that in a restaurant, you do that when you eat plus a. you go hey good night

and they're like what the fuck what do you do what do you do savor did I'm down there till it's done I'm I slow it we got my you know my napkin

and my knife you know what I'm you know what you do all that stuff right but you're like and you're done you're not good dude you got to change your ways

your ways man slow it down when you eat anything you eat fast too huh I do You look like a I'm a...

You're a rabbit fucker. Right. Now I'm a practical eater. You know when he fucks you? You know when he fucks dude? Right? You could tell he's a fucking power rabbit fucker right, this guy, right? Right?

And they're like... And the girls are like, oh, oh, you know what I mean? And then you're done and they're like, you know what I'm man? You're done. And you call your accountant. Right? And they just said, there's girls in the bed that got rabbit fucked by you. It's insane, dude.

Stop that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop it. I'm checking my credit score. afterwards. Yeah. See, that's so weird

that you do that. Let's check it. Yeah, yeah. Do you not have credit karma? You just do what your credit score is. I don't, I don't even know what it is. Okay.

Like I said, dude, I don't care that much, you know, but there were times in my career where I did care because I had no money. Well,

when you have no money, then you look. Because it's like, you know, you have $475 in your bank, that's all you have. Then you have to go, or what can I eat this week?

right but if it's anywhere above if you make anything above a half a million a year why would you have to check that's a lot of money how were you making it buy though what would you do to get by when you have like 400 dollars in the bank count I would do random like

one night gigs there was always like these things like triple runs back in the 90s or like there were all these weird clubs that you could play like in Tucson and so one nighter and they give you like 300 cash or whatever.

But I would do those kind of things. I would also like, like one time I, the comedy store owned a theater called the Richard Pryor Theater. I forgot what Street it was on, but it was abandoned. And they told me,

there to go, there's people living in there and you and a bunch of dormant at the comedy store have to go. And this is off the clock of, you know what I mean, and you guys have to clear them out. So we came with sticks and stuff.

You know what I mean? So I would do random, weird jobs like that, but I would do anything to make money. Like, I'm desperate for money. I'm willing to do anything.

I'll wash dishes. I mean, I'll do grout work. I know what that is, but you know. Sure. But I'll like, you know, I'll, like, you know, I'm where do you get that work ethic from? It's not work ethic. I'm lazy.

Ask anyone. Everyone, everyone, sorry, I get energy. Everyone knows I'm a lazy fuck face. I'm very lazy. But I don't also want to eat and survive. Also, you know, when was the last time you were poor?

High school, maybe. Were your parents were poor? They were very much paycheck to paycheck. Your parents were. Yeah, oh yeah. But it was never the point where like we were ever concerned about like not having food or not having like a roof over our head. Do you give your parents money now? To some degree.

What do you mean? To some degree I do. But I know, I've always thought I was set my mom money. You know what I mean? It's a good thing to do. I want to be a good son. But so you were poor in high school. How about you?

Once and a lot of time you were poor? I don't think I was ever poor. But there were definitely times. I would not, like, all of my friends would be going out to eat and I wouldn't buy anything because I didn't have it. That's poor. Oh. My parents had money. They just wouldn't give it to me.

Like, I just didn't. So if there's no time in your 20, how old are you now? 24. Yeah. Fuck, you're such a baby. I was the guy in the friend group that would never eat. When we all went. Why?

For like three months? I mean, you only 20, years when? From 18 to 20? What the fuck you're talking about? High school? I mean, you're, what do you? I'm talking about like in your 20s, late 20s, you're, you're living with 12 guys in a two-bedroom apartment,

which is what I did, and you're sleeping like sardines, like it's ammastad, right? And no one can eat, and you're, like, you, like, I was in despair. There was many times in my career where I was in despair. I, um, like, I've gone through so many, like, phases in the comedy business, you know what I mean, where stand-up was dead or, you know what I mean? This was in and this was in, you know what I mean? I've been able to figure out how to, like,

kind of adapt to each era. When you're poor, you know, but when you have some money, why do I... So I've, a lot of people that were poor at some period of time in their lives are less scared of going back to being that because they know what it was like.

And they know it's not like the worst thing in the entire world. It's the worst thing in the whole world. You really think so. Being poor? So I know I've heard this from plenty of people that have been in situations like that were like, okay, I could always go back

to sleeping on my parents' couch and I'm totally cool with that. That's why they're not afraid of... Well, I could, you know, you're right. I mean, I could go to my mom. Like, if really things went bad, you know, because I bought my mom's house. And it's a small little house in Phoenix. So if I, if things got really bad, I could go home, live in my room and do that.

It would be so depressing. But, yeah, I guess I could do that. But I think that that would be so depressed if that happened. Wouldn't you be depressed? I don't know. I think I would be fine. How about you? Living at your mom's house?

Yeah, probably. No money. Yeah. I don't think I'd probably. But I love going back to this. I do it like at least once a month and I stay at there. Yeah. We have to have more empathy for people.

People are struggling out there. What do we do? Do you think there's going to be a recession? Bro. Bro. Bro. That little gap when that happened was so awkward and so good. It was so uncomfortable.

Good. Right? It's almost as if like, I said something and it went to a different multiverse. And you received it in a different, you know what I mean, playing almost. That was insane. Oh,

like you're like an Android and you just couldn't comprehend, you know what I mean? Did you see that? Right? I go, what do we do? You know what I mean? And you got, yeah. Like something fucking weird happened.

Like, he has no empathy. You have no empathy. Is that what it is? He's trying to think of what to say. I know. That was insane, dude. Wow, that was uncomfortable. Holy shit.

dude. Don't ever do that again. There's like 20 questions in my head. I don't know what happened then. But you fucking, I know. I threw that out there. Dude, you broke down almost for a second. And you revved back up. Oh my God.

That was insane. Let's just go to you with that now because you're not functioning correctly. Yeah, I got a question. Yeah, go ahead. Because you mentioned in a podcast that you became a comedian because you didn't like the fact

that you felt like other people did not like you. What? You became a comedian because you thought other people didn't like you. I never said that. You said that on a podcast.

I listened to the podcast. podcast earlier today. It was on Lex Reisman. You think, you always thought people didn't like you. Yeah. So you became a comedian. Oh yeah, yeah. I did say that. I did say that. I did say that. You like to crap jokes and be a funny person because that's an easy way to get people to like. I don't know exactly what I said, but yeah, I mean, you know, I don't think that it's strange to think that, you know, I mean, people don't like you. I mean, I don't have a lot of friends, really. You know, I had a core group of friends, but I wasn't popular in any kind of way, you know? So it's like, I felt invisible is what I think when I wanted to say.

Every time I would walk into a place, I would feel invisible. Like no one is seeing me or noticing me. So what did you do to change that exactly? Do you just feel more comfortable being yourself and saying the things that were on top of your mind and stuff like that? No. I just started doing stand-up. That was it. Yeah, because, you know, it was like the first time where it's so sad to say even.

But it's the first time where I felt like, okay, like at least, you know, I mean, the focus is on me. for a second, you know, and you know, it felt like I was being seen or whatever in the beginning. But then you get used to it like anything else, but yeah, I mean, but when it did help me with is, like I think I said this before

early on the podcast, where it helped me with the confidence to go out in the real world and be seen. It's almost as if like I was like it transferred over into the public. You know what I mean? Even though I wasn't even famous. You know, when I went to my waiting job, for instance.

There was just more of an era about me, of more confidence, you know what I mean? And that, you know what, people would respond to me in a different way. It's an upward spiral of success. Like, you get one little win, and it's like you get the confidence to do another one. And that could do the confidence to do another one.

It builds on each other. And then all of a sudden, but like, you have to imagine, I'm, you know, in 1995 I started, okay? And I've been doing it since then. Okay. So it's like, and back then,

there was no internet. So I had to do it the old-fashioned way, which is like slow and painful. You know, a billion gigs, terrible gigs, night after night, going on the road to a holiday inn in the middle of a desert and doing it in front of three fucking rednecks or whatever. And that's constant, right?

For years, no money. You know, now it's like kids instantly become famous because of TikTok or whatever, which is fine. I have no, you know what I mean? That's your life, you know what I mean? And good for you. But I did not experience that.

You know, it's, it's, it's, it, we were talking about the other night, a bunch of comics, older comics. Mm-hmm. We're like, thank God for the internet because it's like, you know, it just became easier to reach an audience, you know? It's like, it's like, it went from like, you know what it is? It's like, L.A. used to be 12 gatekeepers. Like 12 people. people that if like eight of them didn't like you good luck right but now it's like oh you know what we don't need you i'm just going to go to the people because that's what you block you were blocking

me from the people yeah before by not putting me in shit right so now we could just go to them and then that's now i'm like see yeah like i always knew that but it's like so for the gatekeepers are they the ones like comedy clubs or are no gatekeepers were like tv and movies so Well, like, one of the gatekeepers that did like me was I thought was Allison Jones. She was one of the greatest casting directors and she always booked me in things. You know, I mean, I was, you know, the dictator and Caribbean enthusiasm and, you know, love, I'm at Patelot stuff. You know what I mean? And I always loved her.

She was always like, I felt like she got me and she, but I would love to name names. Yeah. I'm this close to doing it. But, like, they just wouldn't give me the time or day. they didn't see it they would say things like he's not a star or we don't see it

they'll say that out loud did you believe or internalize that when they say that? Yeah you do believe it you go oh yeah well because then you know that they hired your friend

yeah you know my friend's more special to them than me or whatever but then it's like you go to the people and people are like no no no

that's legit you know and it's like going right to the fucking tap yeah is that it's just like instant feedback I've heard

is when you post something like that. You could tell within a minute how it's received. Yeah, but what's also helped me with, it's also helped me get into projects so much easier now. Like, you know, reservation dogs, sex in the city, and Magnin Pia were the latest three shows I was on. They were all offers, right? I mean, they just like, can you, you want to do it? Whereas if that happened 15 years ago, if, even if I could get an audition, which I would never have gotten one, you know what I mean? You're, you're getting pitted against 50 other people. It's just like a long shot.

Yeah. It's never going to fucking happen. But now it's just like, you know what? I don't need that. I'll do this. And now they're like, we'll come play. And I'm like, oh, I will. How much time are you dedicating now to your podcast versus everything else?

What do you mean? Like, I guess job wise. Like, has the podcast gotten to a point now where it's like, you know, you don't need anything else? Is that the goal? I do need other things because it's like it doesn't fulfill all my desires. But no, because I have to do stand-up. Sure. And I do love acting, you know, but for right now, it's where I make most of my money.

If I toured more, I could make more money doing that. But I'm going out with Andrew. You know what I mean? So we're doing, we just did 26 cities. We did Sandiggo, you know, different gigs. And it's been incredible. I mean, you know, I used to sell, I could sell out a comedy club, but now it's like, we're doing these theaters and it's so fucking amazing, you know? So I'm not going to quit podcasting.

I love it. But I want to do all the other things as well. But it's like, but it's also at the end of the day, I don't know what's next. Do you? With AI coming around the corner, we have no idea what the next fad's going to be, the next TikTok, the next Vine. You know what I mean? I mean, people like, and movies and television shows are fucking dying

because of the internet now, you know what I mean? Just people can consume other things, you know? And they, and one day they might get tired of us. They might get tired of YouTube. I think for the next few years, I think it's podcasting and shorts. And I've seen a lot of comedians on TikTok. Who's that one guy who just,

maybe it's him who just rips off the crowd? Yeah, Matt Rife. Yeah, and he's just posting his three. three minute segments on Millionaire. On TikTok. The amount of money that he has to be making

right now because he's supposed to over one minute. Millionaire. My guess he's probably making a million a month. I don't want to get into his business but I know the deal that I was in the high millions.

Oh yeah. I believe it. Yeah, he's killing it. But he deserves that. Yeah. Matt Rife was somebody that I knew for a very long time and he was always doing it.

How did you meet him? Is it just a small? He's a local comic that we would see at gigs and stuff. I mean, he's a kid that did the business. He has street credibility. That's why Matt Rive making it doesn't, it makes me happy. Yeah.

It makes me go, you know what, that kid fucking deserves it. Because I know he's been, he did the deal, you know. When people don't do the deal, I don't have respect for it. What do you mean by the deal? The suffering. Okay. There's got to be some suffering. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You got to go, you know, you got to come to L.A. or New York and go, if you want to be a stand-up, and go through that process. Because that's where the best comics are, right? New York and L.A., right? You got to go to those cities. And you go, listen, I did it. No money showed up.

No one knew who I was. They treated me like shit. And I looked at everyone I went, you'll see one day. And I, through time, slowly crawled my way up. You know, like anyone that makes it, Taylor Tomlinson, young.

But I know that she grinded. I know she's a part of that scene. You know, I've seen her around. as a young person, you know? Now, I'm curious when you see these people, do you know instantly that they have what it takes or do you think this is something where it's like, they have the perseverance and the dedication,

they're going to make it. No, no, no. You either have it, you're don't. But I have seen people go and go and not laugh and go, that guy's going to make it. Like, it's not my brand of comedy. Sure. But I look at it and I go, you know what, dude, this guy's so good.

I just is not my thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I can do it see that. I mean, I feel like I have a good sense of things. Sometimes people surprise me, though. You know, I'm not right all the time. You know what I mean?

But for the most part, I could kind of see somebody and go, yeah, that person. Like, I was there when I first saw Andrew Santino. The first time I saw Andrew Santino, this is 12, 14, I don't know how long ago, many years ago. And I sat there and I was in the original room and I saw him perform. And he was young. And I went, and I was sitting there with another guy. And we looked at each and I went, yeah, that. guy's good. You just can tell, you know. Do you feel offended when people use words that are

like derogatory towards Asia people? No. I don't get offended by anything. Nothing. I get offended by behavior, right? Actions, you know, if I see somebody do something terrible. But if it's in comedy, right, I don't get bad offended. I'm kind of the same. I've never been sensitive. If I know someone's joking, like even if they use a slur towards me or something I subscribe to, I'm totally fine with it. As long as I know it's like they don't actually have that like angry vitriol for me. Yeah, the problem is though is that people that are fans of mine know pretty much how I do things and how I deliver things and say things. But, you know, I've fallen into situations where people that have no idea who I am and they listen to it like a little clip of me, you know,

it's problematic to them, you know. And I hate that, you know. See, I think I don't get offended, but I do think some jokes can be distasteful. I think like, you know, like animal abuse. I think of like really, like the submarine jokes. I didn't find the funny. I wasn't offended.

I was just like, you know, I get the humor behind it. But I was like, yeah, it's. I don't know, man. For me, it's like, you know, like I know Jimmy Carr. You know Jimmy Carr? he's an English comic one of the best his jokes are so fucking dark

and edgy you know I mean and they're so good I mean just just the writing in it is so good the switches and it's like

he says fucked up things and it's in the form of a joke yeah it's in the context of a comedy whatever whatever

you know I mean it's fine this is not real life even me talking to you guys right now this isn't me talking to my friend you know I mean

at Starw or whatever. No, this is an elevated, exaggerated, half the things that I say, I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I don't even think I believe half the things I say or do, you know what I mean? I'm just here to fill the gaps and my mind goes, oh, this will be good. Let's try this. Let's try this. Let's try this. You know what I mean? This is not real. I mean, this is entertainment. Yeah. It's our version of, this is not how you really are. That's, no, no, because if we were, no, that's, if we turned all this off and we sat down, right you would be more free to say certain things

I would say yeah because a couple of times here you've said I don't want to say that I don't want to say that yeah maybe I like 25% but that's not still essentially who you are in real life right it's still an elevated or you know an exaggerated version of who you are

yeah you know but um good job thanks for having me on wait we got to show you we got to talk about a video yeah I wanted to say congratulations on the body transformation

because I saw this video of you. It was great. I didn't even know it was you. Do you have any comments on? We want you to comment on this. The top comment said that someone has to show this to Bobby Lee. It got thousands of... Thanks for having me on.

Thank you so much for coming on on Bobby. This is a fighter. What a lot. The science is it.