The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan - Happy Galentine’s Day!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Galentine’s is a day to celebrate platonic relationships (yay!) and on this podcast we get a front row seat to Meg and Ruby’s gorgeous friendship. These are some nourishing moments from previous episodes where Ruby and Meg share dating app advice, give sex playlist tips, and get vulnerable about singleness and weird crushes.   What are the most important relationships in your life? Get in touch and tell us! Also hot Valentine’s plans for tomorrow? Let us know!!! We are taking a little break now - see you soon!Email the podcast: [e-mail] Ruby on socials: @rubyrare Follow Megan on socials @meganbartonhanson_Links and resources:Ruby’s steamy sex playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3v2QpYyO0tSz2I5nsbKt6R Ruby’s tender sex playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UhYyzNIbc22sBQA76NHdR Mozart’s “Leck mich im Arsch” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C78HBp-Youk Ruby and Meg’s recommendations:Ruby’s new book - The Non-Monogamy Playbook: https://lnk.to/thenonmonogamyplaybook Ethical porn: Erika Lust, Lustery, CheexClips taken from the following episodes:Being single: love or loathe?Grindr for girls?Porn: Sexy or unrealistic? Opening up your relationship? The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan is a Mags Creative and Dear Media production Producer and Content Editor for Mags Creative: Christy Callaway-GaleEditor and Engineer: Beautiful Strangers, Podcast HouseExecutive Producers for Mags Creative: Faith Russell and Kit MilsomThis podcast contains adult themes that are not suitable for children. Listener caution is advised. If you’ve been affected by anything raised in this episode and want extra support, we encourage you to reach out to your general practitioner or an accredited professional.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm Lauren and I'm Ashley and this guys is Nip Tuck Pod. We are your girl chat. We say the things you want to hear, the things that you're thinking but you don't want to say out loud and we're all about being strong aspirational women who basically don't give a... Lauren anyway if you want unfiltered chat, amazing beauty and product recommendations then look no further guys. This is the podcast where you will get all of the girly chat. The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hey lovelies, it's Ruby here. Happy Galentine's Day. This is the day where we celebrate friendship and all kinds of platonic love which is so important. It's just as important to celebrate as the romantic stuff. So on the pod today we've chosen some of our favourite Galentine's moments from the series so far. We really hope that you feel the love and you enjoy listening and of course if you do have a hot date or some fun sexy plans for tomorrow then we will be wishing you well. I hope you have a hot date or some fun sexy plans for tomorrow then we will be wishing you

well. I hope you have a gorgeous slaggy time if you choose to. Enjoy listening. We're gonna be talking about being single. Very prevalent for me. And me. Well recently for me as well. Oh really? Yeah. How long you been single for? Coming up I think now it's like six months, but it was a long relationship, it was like a big relationship. How long was you together? Six years. Oh wow.

I can't even comprehend. My longest has been like nine months to a year ago. I can't imagine. I tend to, so right now I'm really trying to break the cycle because I had to have a good hard look at myself and realize that basically since I've been 15 and started dating, I've been in a relationship for like almost all of that time. The most I've been single has been like a handful of months here and there. And also doesn't help that like I'm non-monogamous. So I've got like multiple relationships on

the go, which also like that can be a lovely thing, but I don't know, I feel really torn because I love relationships and like being with people in different ways, but I am basically grounding myself. I'm making like, it's been six months and I want at least another six months of being consciously single and still like dating a bit and hooking up with people,

but just like I need to stand on my own for a bit because... So when you say like you was only single for a handful of months would you like live with all these partners or like be seeing them like every day kind of thing? This most recent relationship was the first time I lived with someone because even I am still quite independent and haven't like rushed into stuff like that. Do you know the phrase you hauling? Yeah. I mean, that's mostly I'm queer, but not like full, full gay. A lot of my gay friends are like fall in love. Hey, we're moving in. Let's go. Let's do, let's do it. Yeah. It's a big phrase in the lesbian scene, isn't it? And yeah, I'm definitely, I try, I haven't done that in the past. I've not gone that full on, but yeah, just realizing

that I've been like, I find it so easy to get like wrapped up in someone else's life and I need to just be me for a while. That's nice though, to like see how you feel by yourself and just see people like as and when you want rather than I feel like when I date someone I'm really into them, I'll kind of like morph into their life or like, I don't know,

be available for their, like mold into their routine and life. So I guess, yeah, it's nice to have your own independence and just- I'm trying. Watch one next week, I'm like- I'm in love. But tell me about you, where are you at in terms of single life? Oh, girl, I've been single for so, so long. Really since I come out of Love Island, I really haven't had like... When was that? Was that 2018? Oh, we're now in 2024. But 2018 is when I got with my ex. So we've had like the reverse. Yeah, we've had polar opposites. I've had like little things and I would say like the people I

dated maybe for like three or four months at a time, they were like, we would say like the people I dated maybe for like three or four months at a time they were like we would say like I love you but then really if I did it was I do you know what I mean it's like one of them ones but I just think the older I get the more I'm like I'm not gonna settle unless it's like I have that spark and that chemistry or bringing something into my life I I'm not going to allow myself to get attached to someone so we'll just like hook up. But I think I am quite greedy. I think I should just say I'm non-monogamous. Wait, wait, I can't say it. That's the thing. Saying it, it's such a difficult, non-monogamous, but it is like saying

an enemy or millennium or something. It's like a really clunky word. Non-monogamous. You it is like saying an enemy or millennium or something. It's like a really clunky word. Non-monogamous. You've got it girl. I think it's also like finding ways to feel good in yourself gets, I found it a lot easier as I've got older because we're both now, are you 30? I'm 30. I'm 31. So like the stat my standards when I was in my early 20s on the fucking floor just like are you looking at me oh my god great let's fall in love I'll go and now I'm much better at being like oh actually I don't think like I can appreciate lots of things about you and maybe, I don't know, not in a way to sound mean,

but even like recognizing, I think this is a really nice way that we can like date and hook up, but actually in terms of anything long term, this isn't what I'm wanting. Like that's, it feels like that's what you're describing as well. Yeah, but it frustrates me. I'm my own worst enemy. When I was in my like late teens, early twenties, if someone was physically attractive, that would be enough. I'd be like, Oh my God, she's stunning. She's got like the nicest butt. She's got amazing teeth. She's so cute. Her smile, guys, I'll be like, Oh my God, he's so tall. He's got six pack. Now they could be physically like

carved by the gods, but unless you've got like a personality or we have that vibe, there's just so much more, I think, as you get older, which I get frustrated at because I'm like, I've been celibate now for so long. I've just really like took up with someone, but I can't get past just like, if it's just looks, I need something more. Does that make sense?

Yeah, there's actually a like sexuality that this is making me think of. Have you heard of demisexual before? No. Demisexuality is like where you are sexually attracted to people, but you actually, in order to feel that sexual attraction, you need to have formed a bit more of an emotional bond with someone. Yeah, I have that. So every day's a school day. Oh my god. Maybe this is like,

and you know, that can be like to greater or lesser extents. But I always find it really interesting when people kind of can claim that with some understanding of themselves, whether like the attract, unless like the sparks there, or you've developed something a bit more, you're not going to like really lean head first into, head first, that makes it sound a bit wrong. you're not going to like really lean headfirst into headfirst that makes it sound a bit wrong. It's so strange that I wish I wasn't like that. Have you like found that with age? Obviously, you're newly single, but do you think like when you're younger, you could just physically like look at someone be like, okay, they're hot. It's enough. And now as you're older, you're like, but they need to be funny. They need to be smart. They need to be driven.

I think the checklist is just getting longer and I'm like Meg, reign it in girl. I think to be honest, the checklist has always been fairly long for me. I've just allowed myself to look past it. I think I've always needed someone who makes me laugh. Physical attraction, I guess is important to me, but not as, but like actually I'm very personality driven.

And also now I'm lucky because my mates and the people that I'm kind of still seeing in a more casual way, just like everyone's really fit. So if on top of that, and they're my friends, so I fancy their minds and their values and I think they're really funny and all of that kind of stuff. But yeah, looks are important,

but I think I've always like seen the whole package more. Do you remember when you were growing up what like any references of being single? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I feel like Bridget Jones was obviously like the main one. That's the classic. And she was like so unhappy and like, oh, she just needed a man. And I think what obviously I love them films watching it, but as you get older, you're like, no, come on girl, you're like, crashing it by yourself. You don't need a man. She's got that really nice flat as well. Any, any like 90s sitcom or 90s, 90s or 90s romcom. I'm always just amazed at their housing by being like, you have an entry level job and you live in this like really nice bougie two bed flat.

She lives in like Borough Market. Sorry, this is so not the point. You're making a really important point about self worth and I'm like, housing prices these days. Okay, we'll park that. No, but it's so true. I would love to know what the modern Bridget Jones, where she'd be living. She'd be in a flat share in Deptford and having the time of her life, but she'd probably have bed bugs.

Or in Southend with me. I'd be like, come on girl, let's get down the weather spoons. It's not that bad. I mean, the Deptford thing, I'm just talking about myself. But yeah, I guess Bridget Jones or Sex in the City and I'll do that even to this day if I'm like oh I'm 30 and still single is it me am I the issue I'll put on Sex in the City and I'm like oh okay Sarah Jessica Parker didn't start filming that till she was 30 did she so I feel like that's giving me a lot of like positive but there isn't really many media things where it's championed of single women striving.

There's just not. Or if it is, it's a bit like in spite of, being like- Like they've been done dirty, so now she's getting- Yeah, or in a forced way of being like, I don't need any, it's like this kind of performance of independence where I think a lot of the time when we're talking about singleness, I struggle because, are you ready to get slightly existential? Only a little bit. The idea of being single doesn't really make sense to me when I really think about it because we're

not like, if you don't have a romantic partner, why does that then mean that you are a single entity when like, we are so, we're surrounded by so many different connections and they like make us who we are and we feed into them. Like why does not having one type of relationship negate any of the others? Yeah. Which I know, like I'm trying, again, this is me coming from like polyamory perspective maybe and sometimes if I talk like that,

people are like, okay Ruby. No, I hear it, I hear it though. And I think really, is it a thing that society has put in place as a way to be like, you have to go to work, you have to find a partner, settle down, be monogamous. Cause it just keeps us like very in line. No one's like straying or causing chaos.

Whereas if it was all just out being like polyamorous and doing the most, like, who's going to want to turn up to work? I'm not going into work on Monday. I'm just going to have the best time with like all my new friends. Sadly, I still do have to go into work on Mondays. Don't think I'm like, I'm just like only frolicking all the time. But yeah, it's and like not even in terms of sexual and romantic partners, like my friendships and my like family members and the people that I like share community spaces with. Like actually being single now is nice because

it's really confirming how important all of those are. This last six months has been fucking rough, like really next level. And I wouldn't have been able to do it without all of those people. So I can't like, can I really think of myself as single when like I have been so held and looked after by like this amazing group of people? Yeah, your community of like friends and stuff. Yeah. That's amazing.

Can I see your date, your hinge profile? Yeah, I am nervous, but be brutal with me because I clearly need help. I've been single six years, so let me get my phone. Get your phone. I will show you mine as well. How should we do it? Should we just like swap? Yeah, shall we? And then see. And then see.

Ruby, this is yours. What is this? Is this Hinge? This is Field. Field, okay. Profile picture is giving it's start. We've got the red lip on, the winged liner, hair's looking fleeky as fuck. Oh my god, I've not been described as fleek for so long. What an honour. Should I read it out? Or no? Just... You can do! Oh my god! Yeah, yeah, go for it. No, no, no, go for it. Go for it.

Let's do it. Honesty, transparency. Silly sparkly she they. I love sea swims, sweaty dancing and rolling around in deliciously wicked ways. Currently into stumpy toppy dikes, fem for fem, bye boys, the more the merrier, play fighting. Oh my god, play fighting? I really want to get into wrestling. I want to get like really hench and good at wrestling.

That's sick. It feels very weird hearing that being said out loud by someone else. What is a toppy dyke? Well, just like a really fit dyke-y woman or non-binary person who's got like sort of dommy top energy. Okay. I'd like, you know, I want someone who I can just like stare up at who's going to stomp around and be a bit bossy. So yeah, what do you make of it? I love, I need to take tips because I think mine's too serious.

I've really tried to not take myself too seriously in it and like, that's what I mean. Obviously I want to come off, I want, I want people to be like oh she's hot. Yeah. But also I want people to get see that and be like I'm also silly. Funny personality. Don't take myself seriously. Bit weird because actually I don't just want to hang out with people who are like really aesthetically my type. I also want them to be like a bit odd and like we're going to have stuff that we can vibe off of with each other. Yeah that's where I think I'm going wrong you've got

so much personality like your humor's there whereas mine I'm just like giving nothing. And I am saying currently into quite a lot of different things but that is because it's true. Girl there's no rules like what you like. Okay. Alright, let's have a look at yours. Oh mine's so boring. You look fit. Thank you. Okay. Are you 5'5 as well?

Yeah. Oh my god, we're the same height. You're interested in monogamy? Hey, respect. I'm just trying to set the boundaries. Couldn't be me. I'm the only princess around here, honey. Okay. I go crazy for tall, kind, funny, assertive,

and a sexy, sexy man. You get bonus points if you have a weird party trick or a cute dog. That's sweet. That like gives personality as well. True. Oh my God. You like, you're gorgeous in every single one.

That one, fucking hell. I think that first one is like black and white Marilyn Monroe moment. With a cigarette. With a bag. Just so people know I am a smoker. I do, I do really enjoy that. And again, something like that, that's smart. Of you being like, okay, if you're not into this,

this is who I am. We're not all gonna be everyone's cup of tea. And that's like, I mean, you look fucking sensational, but like a bit of an instructive way of going like, yeah, this is who I am. We're not all gonna be everyone's cup of tea. And that's like, I mean, you look fucking sensational, but like a bit of an instructive way of going like, this is me. The last one you'll wear, is it a wig? You've got like pastely pink hair and like so much highlighter, you look stunning.

And you're like looking off into the distance. It's very ethereal. And you have a video in there, which is nice, which like shows a bit more. All of your photos are really fucking hot. And I want there to be one where you're being a bit silly and smiley and cheeky. Yeah. And like candid, like it's not a photo shoot.

I'm not on set for something. It's just like normal. I think that would be nicer, do you think? Get you a little photo in nature. Yeah. Let me get amongst it. Amongst the trees. Yeah. No, you're right. I think just to be more human. And I do, I love the prompts in Hinge because I think it does like give you a lot of

information about a person, not what they say, but also like if you're choosing to take it off in a slightly different direction, you know, it shows a bit of cheekiness because also if I'm when I'm on Hinge, you get those like very typical responses of like ages ago, it used to be every woman that I matched, I like saw, would be like, I love gin. And I was like, I like gin too. There's gotta be more interesting stuff that we can talk about here.

Don't lead with that. Or when people are like, oh yeah, just don't put like pineapple on your pizza. I'm like, yeah. But yeah. Well, I challenge you to change two of the really hot picks to like one a bit sillier because you are goofy. I am such a goodie. Like show a bit of that. Okay. And maybe a nature pick and then see if that makes a difference. I'm gonna report back.

My old PT who's such a lovely guy once was like can you have a look at my hinge and like see what's going wrong? Because I don't know why, like women just want to hook up with me and then be done. And I, he showed me and I was like, babe, you're only showing topless photos. Like what, come on. Like if you want to fall in love, like you got, come on, you look great. We all know you look great, but like, let that be a little surprise. Or like one, we whittled it down. I was like one topless pick and it can't be the first one. And he's like, fine. No, that's really good advice.

I think that will help a lot. I like showing more of my goofy side. Cause I think it's just- Cause you are. And I, especially I think because a lot of people have a perception of you from like Telly World and OnlyFans. perception of you from like, teleworld and only fans. It's like having the confidence to show, but also you're all of this other wonderful stuff. And like, I think being able to present

as like quite well-rounded, that you're like all of those different bits is always what I tend to like encourage people to do on apps. That's so true. And I think it is like a security like thing to just put pictures where like I'm on set, I'm at work, I know that I've had full glam, I've got wigs. It's kind of like distancing myself from the profile,

do you know what I mean? It's like security. But also that's I think to recognise that is a really important thing and you're allowed to do that too like you get to choose what this is like. Yeah. You don't have to take anyone's advice, including mine. Oh, but I am. I want to see what happens with my new matches. Rupa's wearing a top that's very fitting for today. I do all my own porn stunts and she's looking stunning. Thank you. But I love it's if you're listening, it's I do my own porn stunts, but it's like a lilac velour top with a little

embroidered kitten on it who's got like Miss Piggy energy. It is gorge. Very on theme. But are my nipples, they keep going like in a bit? Do you know what I mean? I'm not saying, if I see them going, I'll let you know. Does that work? To me, they're looking gorge.

Okay, thank you. Appreciate it. Sometimes I see photos and it's like my nipples are just like wanting to kiss, getting closer and closer together under a shirt. They're trying to connect. Yeah you need to watch out for me, I appreciate that. Before we get into like our main topic I want to ask you about sex and music. Oh my God. Why am I pretending it's not for a reason? I had someone around last night

and I was really unprepared with playing music and like they've come around before and so they know my generic sex playlist and I was like, oh, I need to put something else on but like, I don't know what the fuck to turn to. Do you have go-to playlists? I don't have go-to playlists but there's like certain like artists that I'll play or you know

Like when someone's come around for a few drinks. Mm-hmm, but really you're like the motive is to fuck. I'm gonna put on I'm gonna put on these sexual songs just to subliminally get in there. Yeah, we know we know why we're here. We know what's gonna happen Yeah, but what's your like generic? I've never had a playlist but like guys I've seen they've always been like they'll actually like announce it as well they'll be like oh yeah there's like a pride in it sometimes. I'll send you my playlist I am quite proud of it but the thing is that like if you use it too often it feels like you're like in a TV show and they're just playing the songs again and you're like oh okay the same sex like I want it to feel

different I need to up my game with them. Is there like certain songs on there that you're like must have for the sex playlist? There's a couple I'm really there's an artist called Tweaks who like is very good and like really sexy but not like obviously because I think the songs where you're like this is for fucking sometimes can be a bit of a turn off because it's like too obvious. Yeah. I'm like, I want like sophistication. Maybe you're about to bang. Maybe you're not. I don't know. Okay.

So you're taking the more like demure approach. I mean, you'll see my playlist. It's not demure, but like a little, I guess a little bit. Like I don't want it to be so, so obvious, but we can put it in the show nights. If people want to listen to my playlist. Yeah, I feel like it's so important though, because like when you're fucking, like sometimes I think if I'm too shy to say something, a song can say, oh, I just like put this song on and be like, just read the room, read the room.

This is the vibe I want. Yeah. Oh God, I was at a friend's house the other day and like, he has a playlist that like just automatically went on or he like played one bit from it. But then it was all of his, it was like motivational speaking, like songs, but like all like positive affirmations, which like really, really sweet. I'm so here for, but I had to be like, babe, if we're gonna like slide this into sex, can we change the music? I wasn't doing it for me. Positive affirmations. You're amazing. You can do anything. It's like, I know, but not right now. Um, can I, I obviously was nerding out and can I share one thing with you that I think you'll

enjoy? I'm a little historical nerd. I'm basically trying to make a playlist of classical music to wank to, like hot classical music. And it is kind of out there. I believe in it, but it's still cooking. I found this song from Mozart. Apparently he like wrote this for his mates as a joke. It's in German. It's called Leck mich im Arse, which obviously I'm not a languages babe, but do you know what that is? I can guess. Yeah. Leck mich im Arse, baby. I found it. I was crying. I'm so intrigued.

It's just lick my arse. No. It makes me so happy that people were little perverted freaks in the past. He was just like, yep, there we go. This is what we're going to do. It makes me feel happy that he's into that. And that was a thing back then. But equally, who is he employed to sing? Lick my ass. Like, where did he find these people? I think I want to do some more historical episodes because I think people were fucking perverts in the past and we underestimate them. I have a book coming out in a couple weeks. It's called The Non-Monogamy Playbook. I feel

really proud of it. And I also find I love writing and working on longer projects. And then as soon as it comes to actually talking about them and like Sharing it and being like hey buy this thing. I Just want to be like a little hermit crab and like scuttle away again, babe. No, I don't know Why I just find it really cringe to be like, hey, I I made this thing Do you want it? But I also have to tell myself to shut up because I feel really really proud of this book And so as you should be honestly when I read it, it's like what every person needs. It's like,

you're the cool older sister, explain it and not in like a patronizing way. You're just like getting to the facts. You're funny. Like, obviously I'm like pitching is so hard, but it is iconic. I wouldn't say if it wasn't so proud of you. You should be proud. You can, you can, I can do a bit of plugging but it's very nice to have you to also hype me up. For me, what friendship is and what like romance and sexual interactions are can feel a bit more blurred with more people in my life. Yeah. I talk about like sexy friends and like building sexy friendships into your life in the book quite a lot

because that was really helpful for me. Almost taking the pressure off of being like, I've got two girlfriends and five boyfriends or like whatever, just being like, no, I've got all these lovely sexy friendships. And that's such a nice way to put it. Does it feel like I'm just talking about this like weird utopic universe?

No, honestly, you're like making me see things from a different perspective. Like the thing that really stepped in is like when you said, just because someone's giving someone else love, it's not taken away from the love they're giving me, which is groundbreaking. I never thought that. I thought there is like this pot of love. And like if you've used 90%, I'm only left with five. Like who made that? Well there's another five as well there babe, maths. This is why I'm an OnlyFans and not on Countdown, okay? We could make that a collab, like a hot countdown.

Filthy words only. Hey, I've, Carol Valderman's fit. Isn't she? Teach me maths and spank me, mummy. This is so off topic, but who's your weird crush? Mine's Louis Theroux. I don't know what it is. See, we were talking about this ages ago and you couldn't think of one. You've got Louis Theroux. I see it.

I don't fancy him because he feels too similar to my dad. We're not going there. Should we hang out? I don't fancy him because he feels too similar to my dad. We're not going there. Should we hang out? I think my dad's wife would probably not be as into that because they are monogamous. And also if you start dating my dad. What a fucking plot twist for this podcast.

Hello, Ruby here. I hope that you enjoyed this app. We are going to be taking a little break for now, but we are sending you so much love and please let us know what you are up to in the meantime. Our email is hello at ins and outs pods.com. And as always, we want to hear from you. You want your juicy stories and questions and oversharing, all that good stuff. So please send it our way and we will see you very soon.