The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan - Is squirt actually wee? Strap in!

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

There are stories akimbo in this episode as Ruby and Meg continue chatting about the holy trinity of sex topics: lube, squirting and strap-ons!   Ruby shares whether squirting is actually pee and reveals the world record for the highest volume of squirt. (Pimms jug anyone?!). Ruby and Meg exchange surprising squirting stories and discuss wearing a strap-on to… watch TV. This is the second half of a two-part episode. Scroll back to last week’s episode for part one!   Email the podcast: [e-mail] Ruby on socials: @rubyrare Follow Megan on socials @meganbartonhanson_ Ruby and Meg recommendations:Splash BlanketNjoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan is a Mags Creative and Dear Media production Producer and Content Editor for Mags Creative: Christy Callaway-GaleEditor and Engineer: Beautiful Strangers, Podcast HouseExecutive Producers for Mags Creative: Faith Russell and Kit MilsomThis podcast contains adult themes that are not suitable for children. Listener caution is advised. If you’ve been affected by anything raised in this episode and want extra support, we encourage you to reach out to your general practitioner or an accredited professional. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm Lauren and I'm Ashley and this guys is Nip Tuck Pod. We are your girl chat. We say the things you want to hear, the things that you're thinking but you don't want to say out loud and we're all about being strong aspirational women who basically don't give a... Lauren, anyway, if you want unfiltered chat, amazing beauty and product recommendations, then look no further guys. This is the podcast where you will get all of the girly chat. The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

The first time I squatted was really weird. It was like a one night stand with a guy who was really lovely, but he had like a bunk bed where it was like the desk underneath. He just had like a single bed, but like his bed was on the top. And honestly, it felt like being in a coffin that was like six inches above us. It was unhinged. Hey babes, you are listening to the Inns and Outs podcast with me, Ruby Rare. And me, Megan Barton-Hanson. So we were recording and we have too many stories and too much information. So this episode has become a two parter.

Our first two parter. It was juicy. Woo, double fisting. I mean that's... Are you prepared to enter the world of Squared? It was juicy. Woohoo! Double fisting! I mean that's... Are you prepared to enter the world of squatting? I'm ready and I literally... Rain hat's on? Raincoat's on? Well, he's on. I'm just such a geek. I want you to teach me everything.

I find it fascinating, but I don't know why. I've always been too like nervous to just Google and try and delve in and find the facts. But also if you Google you get some dodgy answers. So I'm glad like, I'm not meant to be. Yeah, I can give you the information that I have. Okay, perfect. So what actually is squirting? Squirting is a physical manifestation of pleasure. Squirting is expelling fluids from the vagina and the area around the vagina and in a way that hopefully feels really good. Squirting isn't the same as an orgasm.

So like you can squirt without having an orgasm, you can orgasm without squirting, or the two of them can be paired. Right. But it's not like necessarily the same thing. And that can be a bit of a common misconception. Yeah. And I think we're all really drawn to squirting and kind of fascinated by it, because it's a physical manifestation. Like, we're so hardwired, I think a lot from porn, but to be like, great, a penis comes and then you're like woohoo, orgasm, pleasure has happened, that's great. And it's maybe a bit more elusive

for like, like other like women and kind of other femme bodies to be like, oh, what like, an orgasm isn't necessarily this thing where like something happens, you know, like a little party popper doesn't go off to be like woohoo, that's happened. Whereas with squirting that there is an indication that something's there. Also, I think we're very visual creatures. I think it's, maybe I'm just talking to it for myself, like it's hot. No, I was literally going to say that to you. That's why I'm fascinated by it because I think it's hot. Like if there's like videos on porn and the girls squint, and I'm like straight on that one over the other,

just because it's like, it's like this unicorn of like sexual experiences. Like I don't know where it comes from. I don't know how it happens, but it just happens. It's hot. Yeah. And it's allowed to be hot. And sometimes the mystery of it can kind of make it something we're more drawn to and curious about.

So there's definitely lots of reasons why we can be drawn to it. Something to point out is that a lot of the time in porn, the squirting you see is fluids everywhere, full explosion. And that can definitely happen, but squirting can also be a bit more of a trickle or fluids gushing out, but not splashing up. It can look really different, it can feel really different, and people can do it in really different up. It can look really different. It can feel really different and people can do it in really different ways. Like it's not all about penetration or maybe get to that in a little bit. So important. Do you think sometimes when it's like stupid amounts that that is like

fake or that is they've just like know how to like make their body do that on demand? Like I just don't get it. I I'm sure there are ways to fake squirting because I think there are ways to fake a lot of things in porn but in other like film and TV things But I I've seen with my own eyes people squirting like a lot a lot it can happen And so I don't I don't know if it's fake necessarily but that's definitely something that that performer's body can do and they are aware of that

with all things that you see in porn it's not about like comparing yourself and saying therefore I should do it or need to do it in that kind of a way. But like women can squirt that much I just thought it was like a little bit. No, it can be quite dramatic. Do you want to, can I tell you about my friend Lola Jean? Please do. She's an angel. I love her so much. The next time she's in the UK, we need to get her on here. But Lola Jean is a sex educator and comes from the like pro dominatrix world. And she set the world record for the highest volume of squirt produced. I have videos online.

Yeah, I don't know if there's one like a fully, I've seen her doing it in the flesh before. And it is a sight to behold. She doesn't have anything like penetrative to like, she's, it's kind of all like muscle control and clenching and release and then like clitoral stimulation and she like broke science. How amazing we have to get her on. So I think scientists said it could only really be like 900 milliliters and she squatted 1250 millilitres. That's like a Pym's jug. Oh my goodness. That's crazy. It's so cool. Stop. And like literally in that short,

like what time is back? Yeah pretty quick. But this is something that she's kind of, this is partly like her body and just what she can do, but also a skill that's been developed over time and like getting used to your body and your pleasure and kind of how it all works. And I'm not sharing that to put pressure on people being like, so therefore we all need to be squirting Pym's jugs every time. Otherwise it's shit sex. But it's just, it blows my mind in the best way that the human body is capable of doing all of this wonderful stuff. The release your body must feel after doing that, you must feel like euphoric. Yeah. So I was going to say like, I've always thought deep down it was P.

I mean, this is the ultimate question, right? I feel like everyone is very obsessed with this. Tell me, I want to know what you think first of all. So just based on my personal experiences, and you basically, you just touched on it by saying like when women squat, you don't necessarily have to be having an orgasm, which I thought you did. So every time it's happened to me, I've not been having an orgasm, but obviously it's felt good.

It's just happened on accident. So I thought it's got to be way. Maybe I just need to do more kegel exercises and that's just a bit of pee. So yeah, in my head, I just thought based on my own experiences, which have been very like few and far between, it's not often. I was like, it must be.

That's a really common misconception because there's so little education around this. I think most people come to this thinking that they're about to pee themselves. And, and like then they're being shame and panic around that of being like, oh, no, no, stop. I don't, I don't want to carry on with this because what if I pee myself? I maybe have a slightly different take to your everyday person because the question

of like, is squirt pee? My default answer is does does it matter? Because I think there's room for pee being hot too. Although suddenly we're talking about it in that, that pee feels like very non-sexual neutral and like piss stuff. Like people who are into piss as like a sexual thing. That's great. That's beautiful. I'm so here for that. And why do we normalize? Why do we fetishize one fluid squirt? But then suddenly if it's pee, it's like, Oh my God, that's wrong. That's disgusting. There's some kind of like weird double standards and panics that are going on in our minds that I think are useful to

unpack. Yeah. Also, if you feel like that as well, that's allowed. That's not me saying like, you're terrible for thinking that that would be weird. There's so much shame around like bodily functions. And if you've like pissed yourself a bit when you're having sex, like for some people, you might be able to laugh that off for other people. That's like actually a real like nerve wracking shameful thing. So no judgment wherever you are with any of that. So where do scientists think it comes from? So where squirt comes from, all of this is still up for some scientific debate. Right.

Women's bodies are so horrendously under-researched. There is so little funding and just interest in understanding more about the human body and particularly women's bodies. So every once every couple of years will have like a different study coming out being like, it is P, it's not P, it's this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, it feels quite draining that there's so little research into this, but also that this needs to be researched in order to be validated because it just is a thing that happens to lots of people's bodies. Yeah. And like you say, who cares what it is. Kind of who cares. But there's some, some people saying that it comes like almost entirely from the urethra and like through the bladder, some saying it's more from the skein glands, which are like two glands like on the vulva. And

then some scientists say it's a bit of a combination of both, which I'm probably inclined to believe. I also think there is just, I can't, it's not like backing this up with science, but as someone who has squirted before, it's not the same as pee. It doesn't feel the same as going for a wee. It doesn't like smell the same. It doesn't look like it just none of it. While there's some overlap in like, it's fluid coming from that part of your body. I can know in myself that they just do feel like very different experiences. Also, I've squirted before, not a small amount, and then after finishing having sex, have gone to the toilet, had a full wee. Like it's not, you

know, like the body, it's all a bit kind of connected, but I do think it's useful thinking of them as different things. So there are some elements that are found in P and in squirt, like urea is like a compound that's found in both of them. But there's also something called PSA, which is prostate specific antigen, which is found specifically in squirt. And not in P? No. So that

So there is a difference. Yeah. There may be, there's overlap, but they are kind of separate things and it's useful to get more research so we have information about this, but also I don't, I just don't want people to feel shame about if this is something that you can do to feel shame that, oh my God, it's P and that's a bad thing. No, and I feel like so many people that are into it, whether it is like Squire or P, if you're into one you're going to be into the other.

Like typically I find if you're in the splash zone like kind of you know you've signed up for whatever this ends up being. But that did make me think like what does it feel like for you like if you don't mind explaining because when it happened to, like must have only been like less than 10 times in my life. And I always thought on porno when they're squirting, they're like reaching like climax orgasm. And so I wouldn't say like it felt like a like anything different to just be like mid sex usually, if that makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I get you. I think for me, it feels like there's a really nice sense

of release with it. And because I guess because I find it hot in other people, I also kind of find it hot in my body doing it. There's a bit of like, this is really hot. And like, especially if it's happening and it's like turning me on, but also other people I'm sleeping with, like that's nice. It does feel really good. And pairing it with an orgasm can be a really lovely,

like that feels really great. But yeah, they do feel different. Okay, I'm going to try. And I've, and you know, like there are some people who actually squirting is something that is like an almost every time occurrence. That isn't the case for me. And for some people that might be like, oh my God, wow, that's amazing. That's so cool. Actually, that kind of sounds like a logistical nightmare because then like, there's a really boring practical side to this that like, if you squirt loads, there's a lot of fluids in your bed or wherever else you are hooking up. Someone who I was sleeping with for a while was like an every time big big big squirter which was really fun but was just like we're gonna like there's logistics

around this that we need to sort out. Gonna have to turn the flat into like American Horror Story for all that. I don't know what it's called, the plastic sheets. No, it's like when I was sleeping with her, that was finally the moment that I, for years, I'd just been using towels, which like, if you, if you or people you sleep with squirt, towels are just not going to cut it. You're just, it's like sodden, it like still seeps into your like mattress and stuff. That's not what you want to do. So I bought one of those like splash blankets. There are different brands of them, but they're

like really, really absorbent. Again, this sounds like an ad. I would actually really like to work with them, but like they are amazing and they're on the more expensive side. But if this is something that you'll do it, your body does or other people's does like, I think investing something like that is really good because then then you just stick it in the washing machine after. Yeah, that's so helpful. And it is like magic. Because someone could squirt loads and then it just all gets kept in this blanket. The sheets underneath don't catch on. No way, that's sick. And something I've never heard of and I thought I knew everything about

sex. Well, Megan. More like sex toys at least. How has squatting come into your life then? I guess with people that you're sleeping with or with you? There's a few embarrassing stories. It's the first boyfriend I had. Come on. This is mortifying and he's actually an asshole for doing this to me. So it was back when we were still living at home with our parents.

I went to his house and was looking up. It happened. And he was like, I was like, Oh my God, stop, stop. And he was like, no, like relax. And I was like, no, if you keep doing it, I'm going to wet myself more. And he was like, you're not wetting yourself. Just like relax. And I was like, no, no, I'm scared. I'm scared. Anyway, I don't know, we like fucked around for a bit and then he calls his mum, Mum, Megan's wet the bed! Oh my god! And there was this massive patch and I was like, what do I do? Honestly, really, I wanted to die. I was like 18, 19, my face, it's like a beetroot, I was sweating. I was like, wow, nice knowing you.

I feel so shocked by that. Because also, what? You've just finished hooking up and then he's shouting his mum to come up. We were kind of close. So it wasn't that deep. Okay, fine. So that was the first time. That family is too close for my liking. But also that's such a dick move. That's really mean. And like 18, maybe, you know, very juvenile, but also no, I'm not here for that. No, it was kind of dickish. So that was the first. But then I can, it makes a bit of sense then if that's like one of your first experiences of that happening, then that's in your mind of being like, oh no, it's P, it's me wetting

the bed. Like that's not, you see how in your mind of being like, oh no, it's P, it's me wetting the bed. Like that's not, you see how all of our past experiences like inform future stuff. So true. But I didn't really feel like that embarrassed. I was like, whatever, it's fine. Good, I'm glad. And then after the same guy, he was like picking me up

and like fingering me and it happened. And I was like, what? But do you reckon that that could have been just whey? I don't think so. It did feel good, I'm not gonna lie. Yeah babe I think that's squirt. I would put money on the fact that that was squirt because also it just like having a wee feels nice I guess like especially if you've like really needed to go to the toilet and you finally do but that's a different kind of feeling nice. Yeah true. Especially if you are like really needed to go to the toilet and you finally do. But that's a different kind of feeling nice. Yeah, like that's true. Especially if you are being fingered, if there is some kind of G spot stimulation,

I'm pretty sure that was what was happening. Okay. And then this fingering leads me onto the last one, which is the most recent. What a plethora of stories, you're treating me. But I'm really like interested to know. So obviously we're now so like, it's not just pee, it can come from the other glands as well. But this one guy, he just knew this move and without foul, even if nothing felt considerably nicer, my body would just do it. So I was like, backing up that theory that it must be pee because he must be like,

hitting a certain spot. Do you know what I mean? How does he do that every time without fail? See I've experienced this a bit before of hooking up with people who've like definitely consider themselves like aficionados with squatting. Of being like don't worry I've like got this move I know what's going on and sometimes that's nice also sometimes it's like okay especially if it's like, okay, especially if it's a guy being like, well done, you've got your little party trick, that's cool.

I have a bit less time for that. But yeah, I think there is a particular, some techniques in terms of fingering can definitely stimulate the G-spot more. Also pressing down as well. So you're like kind of pushing, if you're using your fingers or a toy internally, you're kind of pushing up on that like spongy G-spot area.

And what that's also doing is stimulating the clitoris from the inside as well. There's still like, again, under-researched facts about bodies, especially female bodies. But like, some people think that the G spot is actually just like the internal clitoris being stimulated. So we're gonna do a whole episode about the clitoris because she deserves her moment. Also pressing down like on just the bit like on lower stomach, on your mons pubis, which is the bit where your little triangle of pubes grows.

That also is putting pressure and stimulating the clitoris from above. All those kinds of techniques can happen, but no one can make you squat. They can play a very active role in that happening, but it is still your body doing something. And sometimes those like aficionado guys, it starts to feel more about something for them. Do you know what I mean? Like that was his show piece. I was like, what else have you got in the locker? But I was kind of, it made like, you know how you said before, when you did it, it kind of turned you on, it kind of turned me on. So maybe it was like doing something for us both. Here's the ego and

my purse. Look, I, I'm not knocking the aficionado thing. I am a little bit, but I'm like, but are you welcome? Yeah, you probably actually are. If you actually know what you're talking about, then come on in. Also, I've got one toy, which I should have brought it today. It's too heavy actually. It is a weapon. I think if I got like stopped and searched, they'd be like, what are you doing? But like a stainless steel toy that's called the brand's called Enjoy. And that is kind of the gold standard for like G-spot stimulation toys, which can lead to squirting doesn't always obviously, but like that's, it's like a kind of bent stainless steel, like you bend over of like a dildo. So that is pretty full safe, I think for

lots of people. I will send it to you. Also like with all of this, there can be, I find sometimes people getting in their heads that they want to squat. And so it being this thing that they're chasing, what we're actually talking about here is stimulating the G-spot and that being a fun, pleasurable, great thing. And then if someone squirts as a result of that, great, but that isn't the like mark of a good time. Yeah. It's not the end goal.

And I think like anything, the more you focus on like, oh, I really want to. I really want to. You're not going to. You need to get out your head and just enjoy it. Yeah. That which I always easier said than done, but is an important thing to try and bear in mind the first time you started, did it shock you? When was the oh, my God.

Because I was in shock. Yes. and I am now remembering this story. Christ, Megan. Whoa. Okay, okay. The first time I squatted was really weird. It was like a one night stand with a guy who was really lovely but quite weird. Like, we met in the park for some beers and then went for a walk, went back to his and he lived in like a commute, like a sort of co-op, built like a bit of a sort of hippie vibes house that was like felt really nice, but his bedroom was tiny. He was a musician, opened the door to this room that was a cupboard and it was musical instruments as far as the eye could see. Like a tiny cupboard with, I'm honestly saying a hundred different musical instruments in there. Oh my god, he sounds so cool. Cool, but like hoarder level,

like a bit a lot. But also like we'd made out and it was hot and like it was only ever going to be a one-time thing and I, this is something where I'm like, could I overlook this? Yeah. For this one time, fine. You are not going to be my boyfriend because this is actually a lot of energy. But he had like a bunk beds where it was like the desk underneath. He just had like a single bed, but like his bed was on the top. But because the ceiling was really low, you had to climb up. And then there was so little space when you were lying down. You'd be like, both of us lying down on this single bed and honestly, it felt like being in a coffin that was like six inches above us. It was unhinged. Like to live like that was a lot. But I actually think it kind of like,

sometimes I think feeling a bit of not claustrophobic as in I don't want to be able to breathe, but actually I if someone's like going down on me and I'm under the covers and like I think everything's like a bit warm and like my is like breathy and hot or something like a little bit claustrophobic. I think sometimes that can be a real turn on for me and like push me over the edge. And so that was inbuilt designed with this bloody weird ceiling bed. So we were like fooling around. And like I guess there were just all these limitations or something. But the way that he was fingering me, I was like, wow, this feels really different to anything I've experienced before. And then had that thing of being like, oh, something's, something's happening. I don't know what's about to happen. And honestly, I think because I didn't care too much about him, like,

there was care and respect, but like, it was a one time thing. I'm never going to see you again. I kind of had less shame. Maybe if it was with someone I was sleeping with more regularly, I would have like stopped myself. But instead I was like, what's happening here? Let's follow this road and see what happens. And then I ended up squirting quite a lot. And then was like, Whoa, okay. There is a lot of fluid on your small single bed now. Oh my God. I bet he was loving it. He may still have the child's bed, but he's fucking got them fingering skills on lock. Well, hopefully he's washed his sheets since then.

It was about 10 years ago. How old was he? He was, yeah, it was like in my early 20s. I was probably 22. Oh my god. And he was like similar age. People need to get rid of their beds. I know the focus is the squatting, but that bed.

No, no, no, the bed is the squatting, but that bed. No, no, no. The bed was illegal. Like that was a crime and you should never, if that is your bed and you are confidently bringing people back to that. It's the climbing up the stairs for me. The little ladder. And then the undignified, okay, I'm just, we've just had sex.

I'm going to pee like me going down. But like we literally couldn't have had like penetrative sex, because there wasn't enough room for one of us to get on top of the other. Thank God for that first. And maybe if there was, he wouldn't have done that and I wouldn't have squirted. Oh, and how amazing for your first time,

just to know that you're not seeing him again, like just live how you want to live. I think that really helped. Wow, I did not expect to tell that story today because honestly, I'd forgotten that happened. Thank you for sharing. It's really tickled me. You're welcome.

We're really pushing the envelope with the oversharing this episode, aren't we? I think we've overshared way too much, but the facts are that squirting is different from pee. Yeah. And there is no shame in it. Like, why the hell not? If you want to squirt, squirt. Yeah. And there is no shame in it. Like, why the hell not? If you want to squirt, squirt. Yeah. And also if that's not something that your body is doing or can do, that's also fine too. Like this isn't, it's not a competition. We all have our different ways of finding pleasure

and that can be a beautiful thing. If squirting is part of yours, great. But if it's not, that's also fine. Definitely. And if you are squirt,-side, then sheets, I need to look them up. Yeah, you need one of them magic blankets. So, shall we move on to strap-ons? Let's take this baby home. Let's do strap-ons. So, before we get into all the stories about strap-ons, because I've got a few and I'm sure you've got loads, what actually is a strap-ons because I've got a few and I'm sure you've got loads. What actually is a strap-on?

Strap-ons are wearable dildos. So they can work in lots of different ways. You can have like a harness and then with like a little hole in it where a dildo goes in. You can use wearable ones if you're someone who has a vagina where like a bit goes in your vagina and then there's a kind of like dildo dick that comes out. I really like them in theory, but I think they're quite hard to use. So it's a bit of a like, you've got with anything sex toy related, it's a bit of a kind of Goldilocks find the thing that works best for you. You've kind of just got to try thing, literally try things on for size and figure out what works best for you. But they are worn to penetrate someone else. And that can be someone with a vagina, like for me, a lot of the time when I use strap ons, either, either if I'm like penetrating or being penetrated, it's when

I'm sleeping with a woman or like a non-binary AFAB person, which means assigned female at birth. I'm sleeping with a woman or like a non-binary AFAB person which means assigned female at birth. And so that's just like a fun element to the queer sex that I have. It's not an essential thing but it's really nice and fun. But also strapping can be used for like other people as well. So a big thing right now is pegging which I I love. As a concept, I just think it's really important for straight boys to explore their arses. I think it's really... For sure, and what you think is happening, it's like moment now where people are speaking about it more. I think it's more normalized now, which is great, and I would like it to be more... If I had a prostate, I would be so much more interested in anal play for great. And I would like it to be more like if I had a prostate,

I would be so much more interested in anal play for myself. And like it can still, I don't know, I'm less into it right now, but just like, prostates are amazing. And there's so much fear around men experiencing anal play and that it's this thing that's like very coded in like a homophobic way or whatever. But like this is really fun. And if you also are very used to sex being one way around when like you're the person who penetrates someone else, it's kind of fun to flip it on its head and like try different things. I feel like as like a bisexual girl, I've seen them, I've been around them, I'm scared of them, and I've put one on once.

So concise, babe. That's really sweet. I just feel silly when I put one on. I just feel like I need to come with more, I don't know if you've had this before, but more masculine energy when I wear a strap on. Like I don't feel particularly like feminine or cutesy. Mm hmm. And even I've got like harness, like it's like a whole lot of things, like a bra. And then it's like that looks sexy on. I think for me, it's like doing the movements. I just I don't know why. Yeah. I just feel like a bit weird.

I get you a lot with that. I think for me, when I wear a strap, I'm less interested in, like I can feel a bit more masculine and I'll like tap into a mask side of myself, but that isn't, I still, it's still fun feeling like really high femme, but having a dick, that can be cute for me. There is also something inherently comical

about putting a strap on. Like even just the undignifiedness of like getting it on and doing the little straps and things like I've stuck with people in the past who've literally like gone out of the room to be like, okay, I'm going to do that because that's less hot and sexy. And I want to come back in being like, yeah, I feel powerful. I feel great. But wearing the first time that I wore a strap, I couldn't have sex. We were just like laughing for 10 minutes. I was just like, this is so, because also when you've grown up without a dick, suddenly being like, what is this? This is so silly. Oh my God. I was like literally running around my house being like, what is this? So yeah, I get the

fear. But also I think of them sometimes is just like inherently quite silly and like then that can become sexy Right. I think that was my problem So the girl that I used it with she was just so cool and like effortless what she would put it on I'm like, how are you doing that? And she was like more tomboy than me So I think it kind of like I know she's more like nonchalant Whereas I'm always trying to be like cutesy girly and there's me like fumbling with this strap on and then I am silly. So what's it's all about?

I just wanted to wave it around and be like, oh look I've got a dick. Wave it everywhere, windmill it. Yeah, it makes you realise how much like immature teenage energy we still have in us as adults. I will say the first time I, like not even the first time, even now, when I use a strap, I think, how do I say this, like coming off as like kind of inappropriate, because I don't mean it like that. It makes me think of the boys that I was having sex with when we were teenagers and like them, the sort of jackhammering when you're like figuring out how to fuck using a dick, how weird that is and being like you're not doing this well, what is happening? Me using a strap on humbled me so much of

being like, oh wow, this is actually quite hard. And I get that you were just figuring that out and like working out how to use your hips and all of this kinds of stuff. And so yeah, every once in a while I'm like, sorry, like boys from my past. I now know that this is actually a bit harder than I thought it was. So if you're new to it and you wanna get strapping

for the first time, whether that's for like pegging your guy or just whatever, where would you even look? Because I left it to my girlfriend like before, I was just like it was hers and I was like let me try that one for size. Some people get quite protective about their straps, like I've slept with people in the past where it's very much like more of an embodiment of them, so it's not like oh we're just going to swap it around and like you wear the harness now I will. So it's, it's really down to personal preference. I would recommend going smaller than you think, because our eyes are greedier than our genitals a lot of the time and better to kind of start off a bit smaller. And then if you're a size queen,

you can build up from there. But the first time I bought a strap, I definitely was like, this is gonna look really cool. I want a massive dick. And then it was like, actually, this is quite a, this is like a heavy piece of machinery to wield around. I don't have the skills yet to know

what I'm doing with this. And then actually when like it's been then been used on me, I'm like, this is nice, but like, we could turn it down. Like 60% of this size would work really well. You can also, there are, cause it doesn't have to be a dildo isn't a penis. And so can be like different in lots of ways.

Like it can be more curved. It can be kind of like ribbed or a slightly different shape. It's really about finding the thing that's right for you. Lots of places also make like underwear with a little hole for the strap in as well so you don't have to like, it's not all like harness tightening stuff. That would be easier. Which is easier. I still prefer, I think the fact that my harness is like leather and feels nice, I'm into,

but sometimes it does feel a little bit like I'm about to go rock climbing and I'm putting on one of those. So yeah, maybe the pants also have their time, but you do need a dildo that has like a base at the end. Yes. So that it can like be held in securely. But yeah, you got to shop around. And then would most fit also say if you got any like dildo with a base from any kind of shop it would just fit with any or you've got to like check. Most of the time they do work. A lot of harnesses that you buy have like o-rings at the base of the bit where the dick goes through and will come with a few different sizes. That's good. Although then I always lose the different sizes.

They're like somewhere lost in my house. But yeah, so there's like a bit of adjustment. I guess if you're, if you're using a dildo that's particularly on the smaller side or the larger side, maybe worth checking that it's like compatible with a certain harness, but for most things you're fine. Yeah. Or if it's your first time, maybe that's a good one to get the one with multiple. So you know what size. Yeah. So you can kind of time maybe that's a good one to get the one with multiple so you know what size. Yes so you can kind of play

around with it a little bit, play around with it before you play around with it. I remember when we used to, obviously I was in that relationship with a girl, I'd really actually dare me to answer the door with it on. There is something empowering about having a penis I must say. Well and it's all that weird social stuff as well like when I think just having again a visual, like looking down, if I'm naked and I look down, I see boobs, but then actually, in terms of genitals, like I'm not seeing anything, there's nothing coming out. Yeah. And I think long term, that creates a lot of shame because we're less used to actually seeing our

genitals and interacting with them. Whereas if you're someone with a penis, that's such like an obvious piece of kit that you've just got around. When you look down, it's there, it's very apparent. And I think there's something quite empowering about like experiencing a version of that when you've not had it before. That's so true, I never thought about it like that.

Cause as women, you don't really see unless you're like sitting there with a hammer. There's quite a lot of effort to go about like actually seeing it. Yeah. I've in the early days when I first got a strap on and like first time I put it on, laughed so much that we like couldn't hook up. But then there were like a few times when I just was watching telly and was like, what if I just had a dick right now?

And I put it on? Or if it was like over my pajamas or if it was under them, I can't but like there was something really nice about just having a dick for a bit. Maybe that says a fair bit about my relationship to gender and that there's maybe a bit of a bit more boy in me than I realize. But like, I think it's a really nice thing to sit with. And why not? Why would you not want to try that? I think that was my issue. Why I'm probably still had that bit of scaredness because I put it on trying to be sexy. And when I should have just let my ego go and be like, make this can be silly. Like I always say sex doesn't need to be serious, but I don't know why I couldn't take that advice myself. It's hard

to though, especially when you're trying something new, like as adults, I think we have that pressure that when we're doing something, we just like should be fine and like experts straight away. And I will say using strap-ons is like a skill that you have to develop. And I'm mostly, I'm on the receiving end of them. And so actually when I strap, it's not, I don't do it super often. So I do get quite nervous before because it is like a particular technique. It's like a different way of moving your hips. And like, I think especially if you've been fucked a lot and sometimes quite badly when you're like, actually the jackhammer thing doesn't, it's not working.

I'm then very hyper aware of not doing that when I'm penetrating someone. And there's a lot, there can be lots of stuff that like goes in your head. My biggest takeaway was I need to work on my arms because I had no arm strength to hold myself up to fuck so who even knows? I think I was giving will from in between us. It was so not glamorous. No. And you know, not to, there's maybe a bit of laziness in this, but like, sometimes if I've been feeling insecure about it, actually you lying down and someone getting on top of you and riding you, like you're still, you're still engaged, you're still moving your hips and doing stuff, but like they've got a bit more control in doing what feels

good for them. And it, you you're the arms get a break. Yeah, I was like puffing like I just run like five k. It's no joke. And like I do. I feel like there are lots of men out in the world who are not as skilled at sex as they maybe could be. And I would like to encourage them to like develop their skills but it's also very humbling going like and actually fucking someone with a dick is really hard work it's like it's not for the faint-hearted and I did not realize how intense

that was until I tried it myself. Fags, it's like putting in a shift. Do you think you'd ever you peg someone? I've just I'm sorry to say I've just got a fear of men's arseholes. A woman? Is it still called pegging if you do it with a girl? I don't it could be technically probably not I don't know. Girls butts yeah and men's butts no but I've been arsed I don't know what it is, what energy I give off. I'm really sorry, I enjoy that phrasing so much. It's a no from me. Is it because you don't trust the hygiene? Exactly that. And like, why are they so hairy for?

There's just nothing. Oh, just oh, I just don't trust them washing it nicely. I would eat a girl's ass with a man absolutely never ever ever no no no just I'm getting I'm getting scared just thinking let's change the subject. I will say that there are some men out there who have who like actually are really hygienic and it feels and it's much more doable I think if I was ever presented with like a dirty asshole, that would be the worst thing. And then like, you wanna get in here? This is hot.

That's not for me. Oh, have you ever? Thankfully, no. No, have I? I've like, there's been like a bit of anal play stuff before where like things have gone a little bit awry but nothing major major but also I would really hope that I have the self assuredness that if I was presented in a situation where someone was like dirty that would be me tapping out. You're not like let's just give this a bit more of a go. I'd be like

no, you know what, we're done here, let's just give this a bit more of a go. I'd be like, no, you know what, we're done here. That's not happening. And also I feel like people that go to like sex parties and like circles you're with, they're very self-aware. They're very open about sex, cleanliness, they know. Whereas I think some people that don't speak about, they're probably like in a fantasy world, like quickly in the shower, wash your pits, wash your dick,

come out and then expect to like have your missus peg you. No. No. No. You need to get some guy gay friends who can teach you about douching and anal hygiene or like ask the internet. But if this is something that you're interested in, there's like a hygiene area that comes into that as well. You also don't need need to douche. Like that's a bit more of a that's a conversation for another subject but like asshole cleanliness is important. Yeah, asshole maintenance. We've pushed this conversation to its limits now. We've got to ask for maintenance. I think we need

to tap out. Should we leave it there? This has been such a joy. Oh my god, I've not stopped laughing. I've loved this one. It's good, and there's more. Honestly, there's more stories, so future times we'll have to dip back into this. But thank you very much for coming along for the ride with us. What a time. Wow. I've loved it. If you've got stories to match, or if you want to join the oversharing gang then please get in touch with us.

Send us some of your silly cheeky little confessional stories. What is the email? Hello at ins and outs pod.com. Woohoo! And soon we're going to be doing a whole episode on all your stories, sex dilemmas. So make sure you write in. We can't wait to hear your anal maintenance stories. We can't wait to hear your anal maintenance stories. Until next week, we are The Inns and Outs and we will see you very soon. Bye!