The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan - Our friend, the clitoris!

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

Did you know the clitoris is a wishbone shape? Or that it’s made up of the same stuff as the penis and testes? Mind blown over here! Ruby and Meg get into the anatomy of the clitoris, chat pleasure and tell us about their own personal discovery of the clitoris. Dining room tables and bed frames may be involved... Listen with care as Ruby and Meg also briefly discuss FGM. If you have been affected by FGM, the NHS offers information and support: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/female-genital-mutilation-fgm/national-fgm-support-clinics/ Email the podcast: [e-mail] Ruby on socials: @rubyrare Follow Megan on socials @meganbartonhanson_Ruby and Meg recommendations:OMGYES: https://www.omgyes.com/join  The Ins and Outs with Ruby and Megan is a Mags Creative and Dear Media production Producer and Content Editor for Mags Creative: Christy Callaway-GaleEditor and Engineer: Beautiful Strangers, Podcast HouseExecutive Producers for Mags Creative: Faith Russell and Kit MilsomThis podcast contains adult themes that are not suitable for children. Listener caution is advised. If you’ve been affected by anything raised in this episode and want extra support, we encourage you to reach out to your general practitioner or an accredited professional. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm Lauren and I'm Ashley and this guys is Nip Tuck Pod. We are your girl chat. We say the things you want to hear, the things that you're thinking but you don't want to say out loud and we're all about being strong aspirational women who basically don't give a... Lauren anyway if you want unfiltered chat, amazing beauty and product recommendations then look no further guys. This is the podcast where you will get all of the girly chat. The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I would grind on like the corner of my bed frame and be like, why does this feel really

nice? I don't know. Hey babes, you are listening to The Ins and Outs with me, Ruby Rare. And me, Megan Barton Hanson. I've been put on the spot just before we started recording. I'm going on a date tomorrow, and I thought that I was not organizing this, and suddenly now it turns out I am organizing this, and it's stressing me out.

In no way, what's the context? We've met before, I just basically wanted to be a princess and not organize this and like I'm having to come with suggestions. So help me out babe. Oh my god you're asking me a single girl in the world. Beyond like dinner and drinks, like what's a nice date thing to do? I feel like, I know it sounds so geeky but like I love an art gallery or something we've actually got to discuss things or a gig even. Obviously you'll be in the gig together,

you'll be having a few drinks, it'll be fun but then after you'll be like oh my god what's your favorite song? It's something for you to like, I don't know. Yeah like you can chat about stuff after. I love an art gallery date but then I worry that I get a bit pretentious because I get really into it and I'm like shh don't talk to me I'm experiencing culture right now yeah I need to stop taking people to the cinema on first dates because I have a terrible habit of bringing people to the most like bleak depressing films ever on a date like I once took this woman to a film that I really wanted to see but it's like this it's about like post-war Germany and these like orphaned children traveling across the country. It's not Screaming Day, I'll be

honest. It was a really good film but the whole time I was like oh no this is not we are not fucking today there is like no way that you know the vibes are flowing after this but anyway so i won't do that okay maybe i'll look up and see if there's like an arty thing to do that would be cute there's i'm going on saturday actually to this thing in canary wharf and it's like this couple and they're into psychedelics they do all this art on psychedelics psychedelic so. Sounds cute. Have a little look. Okay okay um right today we're talking about a topic very close to my heart I'm very close to both of our genitals we are talking about the ins and outs of the clitoris. I'm glad you said that. Which you don't like the word of do you Meg? I get so shy guys I don't know what it is it's for me it's the same as't like the word of, do you Meg? I get so shy guys, I don't know what it is.

For me it's the same as saying moist, the word clitoris. Does clit feel fine? Clit feels fine. So what is it about clitoris? You know like them diagrams when you go into the doctors and you can see the whole like vagina just opened. That's what it's given me. It's given me wow, clitoris, hello, bam, I'm there.

I think we need to rebrand it then. Because I, medical terms are useful for us because the more we know about terminology, the more informed we are about our bodies and still people know so little. The common thing is to say vagina when you mean like the whole genitals, when actually everything on the outside, like that's a vulva.

And again, people feel kind of weird about using that language because it's like a bit too formal a bit too medical. Clitoris! Throughout this episode I'm gonna challenge you to say it more and see if at the end you feel a bit more comfortable with the language. Okay. I feel very passionate about clitorises I think mine's fab I'm very happy that I've got to know lots of other people's and I think theirs are amazing as well. I feel like mine is my best friend. Yeah, I feel like if you have a clit, it's your sidekick basically.

So yeah, I think that we need to give a bit more love to clitorises in general. We do. But I might be about to blow your mind a little bit and listeners minds as well because so few people know about the actual anatomy of the clitoris. So what do you think a clit is? Okay, I'm going to try and impress you and be a teacher's pet but I do know that it's like, it goes down either sides right? That's all in there. If you're listening, Google clitoris anatomy and like look at images so that you can actually see because I think it's really useful to visualize it. The clitoris is about 10 centimeters long. No way.

Yeah. So we just think of it as like the little bit that's on the outside that's like covered by the clitoral hoods for some people. and that is like the tip of the clitoris in the same way that like the tip of a penis like they are basically the same thing no way in utero so when we are fetuses developing in the womb all genitals start out the same and then at a certain point i can't remember exactly what how many weeks it is. There's like a wave of hormones that determines your chromosomes, which is like one factor of biological sex. And so that will then determine if your genital anatomy grows into a vulva and a vagina and like ovaries and womb or into penis and testes but all of the like material that that is made of is the same so like labia majora same as the scrotum the like skin on the balls labia minora is like same as the shaft

of a penis like the clitoris same as the glands like the head of a penis. Oh my goodness, it's actually the same. Yeah. Except theirs is just like sticking out more. Yeah. And even like if you, the shaft of a penis, there can sometimes be like a faint line going up it. And that's like what would open up to become either side of the labia. It's so cool though, right?

It's crazy. Yeah. I never knew that. I think if people know that more, I don't know, people like think of vulvas and vaginas and clitorises as like mysterious and like difficult to pleasure and don't really understand them and like a dick's just a dick and it's simple. When actually like it's all made up of the same thing. I think it kind of equals out in terms of how we think about pleasure in terms of like just loads of stuff. We're really

not that different. And also be it like sleeping with people of all genders, like there's way more variation within like each sex. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like I, you know, I've slept with people with like such wildly different penises and vulvas. But what like I can't understand. So like, obviously they look different on like the outside, but like we all have different things that like make us get there quicker. Do you know what I mean? Even though we have the same anatomy, like why is it for one person this works more? Or do you think it's more of a mental thing? I think it's more of a mental thing. We all have different things that like excite and

inhibit us and make us feel safe to feel desire and to experience arousal and all of that like genitals are great but so much of sex happens in our brains like it's not it really like I cannot stress that enough. But you think for men also? Yeah I fit everyone. Really? I thought men were more physical they're like oh it feels good I don't care like you could have had an argument with them you could have been like. I think that's all social, which I think is all

in our brain. Really? Yeah. I think all so much of that is around the way that we are socially conditioned, determined by our gender. Yeah. In my humble opinion. That's so interesting. Yeah. So, clitoris, it's a bit on the outside, but then you're totally right, it kind of goes back into, down into the body, and there are these two like wishbone-y sections that basically circle the vagina on the inside, but it means that so much of the stimulation internally, like if you're aroused and you're having sex and having a great time, what you're feeling is the clitoris, but it's being stimulated from the inside.

There's still lots of speculation because there's not enough research on this, but people thinking that the G-spot is kind of like where the two different sides of the clitoris like meet at the top. Stop. So where is... I thought the G-spot was like so deep inside. It's not that deep inside, it's like a couple of inches

inside. I didn't even know about all this stuff. I thought the G-spot was like, you know when like, this is so graphic, but like people put the fingers in and it's like, and you can feel that like. You've hit a wall. There, I thought that was it. There's a C spot, which is like an area that you stimulate up around the cervix, which

is further in. And so people can really enjoy that. The majority of our nerve endings and where we get like pleasure and sensation inside the vagina is in the first few inches. Can we just tell this to like men? Because I think the pressure on poor men, that's wild. Size really isn't super relevant. Like if you enjoy the sensation of being like really filled, like you know, having like a big toy or like a big dick inside you can be a really fun lovely thing. But that's not, it's not like the bigger it is, the further up you're getting to more pleasure. The majority of pleasure is in the bottom lower part of the vagina.

Oh my god, we need to tell more people this. Because I think so many guys get so insecure and feel so much pressure to have a massive dick and it's not even that big of a deal then. I have tiny hands and I do all right when I'm sleeping with women. Because actually you don't need to delve super far and then you know, I've got a box of toys for when I need to do a bit more of that. Oh, one thing I haven't said within all of this, just the same as how a penis gets erect and becomes engorged with blood, the clitoris does the same. The

inside and the outside, it it becomes, it is like erectile tissue. So when you'll feel like when you experience arousal, like same thing as like if you put a tampon in, you're not going to be like, Oh my God, wow, that feels amazing. But then if you're turned on and you're aroused and like a similar size, like someone puts a finger inside you or use your own finger, that suddenly feels really good that's because we're erect Clits get erect so I could actually say to someone like sometimes I want to be a bit masculine So I can actually say oh my god, you make my clit so hard. Yeah, we get hard on

That's an actual sentence. We get hard on. I'm gonna say it's someone You're welcome. But yeah, I like, where are my other favourite facts? There are around 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris. And it's kind of the only organ where like the sole purpose is for pleasure. Again, there's some like speculation about if there's an innate like function of the clitoris. I'm on side with the research that's like, no, this is just purely designed for pleasure. As it should be. I'm not being funny. We have periods. We push babies out. The least we can do is have a little button for pleasure. Or like this whole thing that goes inside. Like it's this wondrous, I don't know, I feel like I get very like hippie dippie excited.

You know, like that teacher that's like, you should explore your body. And this is all so amazing. But like, it is, this is such a fucking cool thing to have as part of your body. And yet we don't know much about it. We feel nervous about it. We're taught to feel nervous about like the word itself. Like there's so much unnecessary shame about this thing that's like designed to make us feel really good. Yeah, it's like, isn't it? It's my favourite thing that I've got on my body

and I've paid for a lot of plastic surgery but that is my absolute... The clit stays just as it is. She's my babe. Can I also say something with that that's like a bit more serious but then we have a more happy ending? But do you know about FGM? Have you heard of that before? Oh my god, girl, the first time I heard about this, where I live, they've got like in the back of the toilet doors, they've got posters. And I saw the poster and it said what it was

about and I just burst into tears. And all my friends were going into the cinema about like 16. I couldn't leave the toilet because I was sobbing. But it's horrendous. And I can't believe that even went on. Like it's horrendous. Yeah. And I couldn't believe that even went on. Yeah. Like it's mental. It stands for Femur Genital Mutilation, which is still a common practice in lots of parts of the world. Like it still happens in the UK. Like this is a horrendous thing. And it's different cultures, it's different religions, but also let's not fall into the trap of being like it's this religion that does this or it's this race of people that does this. I think it's really easy to go into very bigoted racist territory sometimes when we talk about this

from a white Western perspective. But it really varies in terms of practices, but it's like cutting or removing certain parts of female genital anatomy. It's about like bodily autonomy and this happening to a lot of the time like young girls and being seen as a rite of passage and a necessity in order to be able to be in like the marriage market and an expectation that husbands would have of their wives' bodies, it's really fucked up. And there's a load of amazing work to kind of de-stigmatize talking about this and to encourage people to stop this as a practice.

There's been a lot of really transformative work in the last 10, 15 years about it. But I used to know, work with people who did a lot of that kind of activist work back in the day. One thing I used to know, like, work with people who did a lot of that kind of activist work back in the day. One thing I didn't know, because we are so ignorant about the anatomy of the clitoris and people don't know that it goes inside of the body, depending on like the type of FGM that someone has experienced, there can be restorative surgery where a surgeon shifts the inner clitoris so that some of it like sits back outside of the body. Oh my god I could cry for these girls.

Isn't that incredible? Yeah. But which like that's sensational. I could actually cry. But there's still... Oh my god I can actually get it back and have an orgasm. I'm so happy. Yeah. I get so emotional. It's just like, it's just so heavy. And I just think it's just so cruel. Unknown people that have gone through horrific torture. And I think when you look at it or you hear about it, just like, and you're like going about your day

and you hear about this, you're like, oh wow, that's sad. But you don't understand the depths of it. Like to be held down like 12, 13, sometimes as young as 11, have no anesthetic and have that done to you, it's fucking mental. And like the shame and pain and discomfort that comes after that as well. Like you're so right.

I think it's really easy to think about this as something that happens over there. And that's bullshit. This happens in the UK. There's also removal of the clitoris has been something that's happened in Western medicine a lot as well. In the 20th century, in the Victorian era, when hysteria was seen as a medical condition, removal of the clitoris was a medical practice as well. So again, it's really easy to think of this as like some, like a different culture or like a foreign thing or whatever,

but like this is, there is such a horrendous and traumatic history of controlling women's bodies. And specifically women's pleasure, I feel. Yeah. I had heard that as well in the Victorian times if people had like bad mental health and stuff they'll blame it on that. It's crazy. Yeah. And like I'm sorry to get upset but I don't know why. She's said a lot. I guess I think about this all the time and I'm probably a bit numb to it and actually seeing you like be that emotional about it. It's stuff that day to day I can just like talk about a bit of like, yeah, and then this happens and this and da da da da da da da but actually like this is this is fucking real and all of you know, it's all very well for us to talk about like the fun side of it but underneath that always are these big heavy things, which is so much about like a history of controlling and

limiting people's bodies and choices and how shit that is. And a lot of women and women's pleasure which I think is just jarring. Yeah and there is you know there is lots more work being done around this and more awareness and all that kind of stuff but again like it is up to all of us to look at this and engage with it, even when it's really difficult stuff that we might not want to. Yeah, everyone I'm cringing over saying the word clitoris and then we break it down.

We've got bigger fish to fry, baby. I'm so invested in the clitoris. Yeah, yeah. My dad's wife is Kenyan and she's done, worked with lots of people in the past where going into communities and like working with like the whole community, but especially like the older women who have who kind of might be some of the people who like normalize this practice and might perform it and like breaking that generational cycle of that being the

thing that happens, like being the first woman in your generation where you are not going to undergo FGM, how massive those moments are. And that kind of stuff, it takes time and a lot of care and commitment, and you can't fuck just bulldozing in and a white charity being like, you shouldn't do this.

But it's amazing hearing stories about how this kind of change happens. So it does. shouldn't do like this. But like, it's amazing hearing stories about like how this kind of change happens. So it does. That's so powerful. There are like happy stories in this. Yeah. Which I hope is nice to hear for you like. Of course. Yeah, I'm sorry to get so emotional. No. Also we're both water babies. We should never apologize about crying. Have I cried on the podcast yet I don't think I have you're gonna have to get me at some point yeah oh it's a lot it's a lot babe it's heavy but I'm glad we're speaking about it me too I mean I want to do a whole episode at some point. Let's get an expert in to talk about this

because I think we both have a lot to learn. I feel like you know a lot, but I wanna learn more. But it's not my area of expertise. I know a little bit, but like barely. So yeah, we'll save that for another episode. Should we go into a slightly happier place? Can we please? To end this chat? A little, you know, we can-

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Okay, let's end this episode in a slightly happier place. Can we talk about our own discovery of the clitoris? How did you know that you've done something? My mum never told me that mine done something. I just, do you know how I learnt? I was like rubbing on a dining room table. I don't think, I don't know why I was there or why, maybe I was doing homework or something and I was like oh my goodness that feels so good. I was just like grinding on the edge of my dining room table. Probably in my dinner like two hours later next to it.

Yeah, I did some grinding as well. I would grind on like the corner of my bed frame and be like, why does this feel really nice? I don't know. But like, yeah, I didn't get taught about it. I was just like, I guess there's this thing that I can do that feels nice. And I've like won the lottery, but also felt loads of shame about it

before I realized that other people do as well. How amazing that first day of discovering, I was a little faint. After I'd done that once, I was like 12 times a day. Mom's like, Meg, dinner's ready. Meg, you've got school. I was like, don't mind me. Just dry humping every surface in my room.

That's so important to talk about though because I think we all, so many of us have experiences of that but in like, when you're raised as a woman and like a girl, that's not seen as like acceptable in the same way that it is for boys to like explore pleasure a bit more. It's so true that you see in so many like American films like the guys like having his first mine call losing his virginity and it's so like hilarious. Have you ever seen a girl do it? No. I remember I used to have one of them bunk beds where it's like the pullout chair and the little ladders. I used to get so gassed to climb up them stairs, lay the pillow down and ride him like my laps are painted on it. I was like, oh!

I loved that babe. Tell me some of your first story. Well, I... So, did you ever watch Sugar Rush? Wasn't it on like Channel 4? It was on Channel 4. It's amazing. It's worth a re-watch.

Did it have a mixed race girl as the main character? Yeah, like two main characters, one of them was, yeah. I feel like I've fancied her. Oh yeah, everyone in that show is very fanciable and like young, closeted, queer babe, me watching it being like, why am I so obsessed? But the first scene is her masturbating with an electric toothbrush. And I was like, oh, I like the sound of that. And so I convinced my mum, I just had like a normal toothbrush. And then I like asked my mum if she could buy me an electric toothbrush. And

then I went to sleep over and was like, oh no, I left it at the house. I've lost it. I could like keep it like under my pillow or my bedside table being like, okay, me and the toothbrush. Trixie, huh? So good. Yeah. But in terms of like exploring your clitoris, if there's people who are listening who've maybe just like taken it for granted a bit or have like shame and feel really nervous about that part of their body. OMG Yes is a really amazing website if you've not heard of it before they do loads of research around like pleasure and particularly like clitoral pleasure and so if you're looking for like specific techniques and things to try that's a really good place to go and just being curious as adults if you like have an awareness of your body,

and you know what feels good, we can sometimes get into a bit of a rut of doing like the same thing, just going for the same like hand movements or toy or whatever. And so challenging yourself to try new things. And not in like a dorky way. I mean, it is a bit but like, for fun of going, what if what if I touch myself in this way? Or if I change the pressure or what you know all of this different stuff I it teaches you a lot about yourself because that's what you do like I was saying like no one told me about the clip like when I was younger I just like learned about that myself and then we'll just start like experimenting feeling oh this is good this is good I guess like you say, when you get into an adult

and you start dating partners and you're in like relationships, you're like, I know it works, I know this is hard, I know what I'd like to do to them for me to get off, what they do for me to get off, vice versa. But you don't, well, I don't personally like push the boundaries, but I should, like when I was young, I used to do mad shit and be like, oh my God, this is so cool. Let's bring back the mad shit baby. Alright well that is our friend

the clitoris like some really heavy stuff but also education. Babe how are you feeling about the clitoris now? I think you've actually cured me of my weird little thing of not saying clitoris. Listen to me, just rolls up the sun, clitoris, clitoris, clitoris, clitoris everywhere, clitoris, clitoris, clitoris, put it in my mouth, no I'm joking. I'm not. Okay my work here is done, if you feel more confident to say clitoris then great. Thank you. If you've got like specific questions about anatomy and stuff then do send them in because I, any excuse to like scrub up on my knowledge and look at things or also if there's certain things you want us to talk about and we can get like an expert in, let us know. So that email is hello at ins and outs pods.com and until next time. Yeah thank you so much guys. Lots of love babes. Bye. Bye.