The Ins & Outs - Jojo has big news

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

In this episode Jojo updates on a life event and we dive into the details. InstagramPodcast - @the_insandouts_Jojo - @houseninedesignPolly - @pollyanna_wilkinsonWebsitesJojo - https://www.housenine.co.uk/Polly - https://www.pollyannawilkinson.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Pine on the summer's day See I've been waiting for you Waiting for you Good morning to you My good friend, how are you? Good morning, my love. I'm all right. How are you?

I'm jolly well. The sun is shining. Look at you in stripes today. You're in your little stripes, stripy number. Do you know what? It's from toast. I'm so in love with toast. I don't know if it's because it just fits

what I do in terms of being outdoorsy and sort of I don't know there's something about the vibe of toast which I'm really feeling so I love that because I'm sitting here in like a grey sweat and I feel like that's very sort of very my what I live in as well isn't it? It's very much reflecting where we are right now. I'm actually in a full jogger set here yeah like I'm sort of like I'm sort of an advanced comfort comfort is key comfort is key now catch me up what's been going down really um gosh i well i mean i've sort of briefly touched on this with you poll and we decided with sort of might delve into this a bit more on this podcast and i'm feeling sort of mildly nervous about opening up about it but then equally i feel like it's i think

it's an important thing to share don't you think don't you worry i gotcha pal i got you um so oh god there's all sorts of emotions i feel about saying this i was recently I have recently been diagnosed as having ADHD. And it feels really funny. It's obviously a very pertinent subject. A lot of people are talking about it. A lot of people are getting tested. Even our lovely Basil, our producer,

we've just been talking to about it. And he is going off the test as well. Because there's obviously the nice thing is about sort of ADHD and autism. It's becoming a real topic of it's a safe space to now talk about it. Yeah. the where I feel the emotion of of speaking about it is that I feel mildly there's an element of embarrassment in there and a bit of shame a shame um probably because and also a bit of sadness twinged in there as well because there's a there's a few things at play and then and then also

massive relief so there's off put that at the forefront there is huge relief as well to be diagnosed um It came, I think probably, I'll try and break it down. There's a number of things, the reason I feel all these different emotions is because, firstly, obviously, as we all know, I lost my dad at the start of this year. It really shook me in a way that I didn't, I had no idea losing a parent would affect me quite so much. And this year has been very hard. I think that's what triggered me to go and get something and get assessed because the way I was coping with his loss

and coping with my mom and has almost really brought a lot to the surface and apparently I've since learnt women disguise ADHD for a lot longer than men tend to because we do tend to be hyper-functioning. Cracking it masking us girls, aren't we? We're just, you know, we do this, that and the housework whilst we're doing the kids

garden making their dinner and so it's easy to disguise it the reason I think it's come out now is because I'm 43 years old I'm not I haven't got the same energy levels that I used to have and where I realize and also the other thing is the other thing that's probably disguised it somewhat

is because I run my own business and I have done for 10 years and when you're running your own business you've got no one telling you Jojo sit the hell down just stop like what you're doing like be still for a second lady i've on a million things at once i am super high functioning i can't sit still i my body now feels i'm honestly

sometimes at the end of the day absolutely burnt out exhausted just sit on the sofa and stop doing anything but i but i physically can't it's like my fingers and toes just have to keep moving i have to keep doing my brain keeps talking to me to keep doing things get your phone do this get your laptop you must do this why do you order the kids clothes why do you do that do so even if like any and i have obviously when when you first get diagnosed or when you first go for your assessment it's not just how you see yourself so when you're when you meet with your consultant there's obviously a lot of forms and things you have to fill out first about your how your personality is and how you grew up and how your childhood so that brings up

quite a lot in itself because you have someone like a parent to fill out a form for you, which is how they perceived you as a child. How were you at school? Were you good at concentrating? Were you able to sit still? All those things. So my mum had to fill this out for me. So that brought up a lot of conversation. Oh, interesting. And obviously conversations, you know, around what I was like as a child and things like that. And of course, my dad's not here anymore. So I couldn't have those conversations with him and that in itself is sort of quite hard. But then also like the person that knows me the best, who's Brad, also had to complete a form for me. So you're asking two individuals that know you very well from different walks of life to assess how you are as a person

whilst also having to be very honest about how I feel about myself and the way I am in handling situations. And then you put those together. The consultant takes those away and then he sits in the interviewer and talks through all these things and do you fidget, do you, you know, all this, everything was basically yes. I mean, like a lot of it's yes. But the interesting thing is I don't think it was, I don't have, he doesn't think I have the hype of it. So I'm a attention deficit disorder, which is, and it can come on later in life as well. It can present itself much stronger in later life when, because of our hormone fluctuations as women of hormones change. So where I also feel burnt out and exhausted, I also am unable as a business owner

and a mother to find time to just sit and stop doing things. Like, you know me, Paul. And there's always something. I'm like, I'm going to go and play tennis. I'm going to go and do this. I've got to do this. I've got to do. Do you do. Do you do. Do you. And that will be my brain, I can't, I don't have a switch that can turn it off and say, okay, stop now. Just stop. Sit and watch, sit and binge watch six episodes, whatever it is. I can't. And I even explain so many conversations that we've had, doesn't it? Where you say, I've just watched, have you watched this series? And I'm like, no, because I can't concentrate on it.

Yeah, yeah. Would you watch that film again, you know, for the second time? No, because I've already seen it. I have to, it's the next thing when I watch. So all, it's almost like suddenly, it sort of shut, it like makes, everything makes sense. Right. But I feel really embarrassed that I've, but the embarrassment part comes from, what i'm just going to explain this this is so funny this is just this crazy new camera that i've got

it's like decides to zoom in like close up to my face and it does this on like zooms with clients and i'm like so sorry you don't want to see my nostril let me just try and get that off a second guys i'm so sorry hold on one sec i love that was sort of a profound thing i think i think my chickens have being attacked by a fox. So just let me check for one second. Your chickens are being attacked. Oh, my God. Literally, as you were saying that,

they are going fucking nuts and they're all hiding in a corner. So I don't have time to go out there and look. It's fine. So, by the way, this wouldn't be a problem if we weren't being on YouTube. But guys, this is the reality of trying to film a podcast, is there we are a really quite a serious topic. And then Polly's chickens are being attacked by a fox. and my little funny camera decides to like zoom in on my nostril.

So yeah, I've I've now unplugged my new little snazzy camera, which so now you've just got me on webcam, which hopefully doesn't make it. Still look dazzling. It looks slightly different, that is why. Where were we? So was it, I mean, was it, what was it like hearing from your mum and from Brad what they'd noticed? Or maybe they just didn't notice it because it was just part of you, but that kind of ticked

tick the boxes that must have been a strange realization yeah there was there was an there was an interest but brad described me in one word oh what was it relentless so he said you are relentless and he said i don't mean that in a in a horrible way it's just more that he gave a classic example he said we'll be out with the kids at the weekend and you've had a really exhausting week and you are clearly burnt out you're really tired i can see it you're really tired and he said we'll go for a nice family walk and on the way back you'll say I'm really tired we'd have done like housework you know sorting out the garden whatever we've been doing and we go for a nice walk on the way back I'm knackered and he says I suggest why don't we all sit on the sofa

and watch a family movie and put the fire on and he'll go brilliant have a cup of tea he said you set foot through the door and it's like you suddenly go into this autopilot of doing everything that doesn't need doing and he said the way you go about it as well like if if I'm tidying up the kitchen, the cupboard doors, apparently it's a real trait, this. It's an ADHD trait, is that you leave cupboard doors wide open. Like the fridge door will be open, cupboard doors will be open. I'm trying to clean up the kitchen, but then I'll get completely distracted by cleaning up the kitchen, which I haven't done, and then I'll go off and do something else.

Then I'm carrying piles of sort of something through the house, and he said, I just watch you go from one side of the house to the other doing things, but you don't really seem to be. And at the same time, you're listening to a podcast on, you know, the rest is politics. So he's like, you don't even, you can't be in the moment with one thing. You have to be doing multiple things all at the same time. So relentless is the word that he used. It's been a long time, obviously, since I lived with my mum, but growing up as a child, I look at this pattern, which is very evident to me, where I would sort of work really hard, but then I would never stick at something. And even with a job, I'd sort of work really hard,

do really well, but then I would leave and go into the next thing. And it's because I had this sort of lack of concentration. And that was even at school. I was even at school and I always felt like I was sinking and I wasn't very good at school and I was never really getting it. And my mind would be wandering off out the window and thinking about something else when I should have been concentrating on schoolwork. So I never did very good in my grades or, obviously in a later life, it's, you know, I feel lucky. And this is why I don't, I don't want it to knock it so much because it's given me the ability to probably, you know, start my own business and spin a million plates and do all these things that I'm doing.

But I think you're able to do that in your 20s and 30s. And I think suddenly when you get to now coming up to mid-40s, I haven't got the energy levels. And my, you know, now I'm perimenopause and on my, you know, you can feel it in my body. I can feel it in my brain that I'm tired and I'm still, but I can't stop. I could be literally like, like this on the sofa in the evening and I'm so tired. And I'm at the longest day and I've overcom, I've overpromised on a million things. And I've missed client calls and I've skipped Zoom. because I said I could do it and I couldn't.

And then I'm still working and I'm still doing things and I'm still, you know, it's just not, it's not, it gets to a point where it becomes not sustainable. Quite. I think that's where I'm at and that's where it's all sort of come to a head. So, yeah, that's kind of, I'm the reason I wanted to share it and I felt like it and even, you know, Basil and Paul said we should share this and talk about it is because it is a sort of superpower and that's a lot of people try and turn this

into a superpower and especially with young children and I think it's really important that we don't make kids feel labeled with like ADHD and also the other little little snag of embarrassment comes probably from the fact that it feels like anyone that hasn't got this is like oh god everyone's being diagnosed with ADHD lately or everyone's got it you know everyone's got it and it's like that might be the truth that might be the case but when we were kids growing up it was never even an option. When I was at school, I was just made to feel like the thick kid. Like it was, there was never a, well, maybe there's something else at play here. Yeah. So that's, it's a lot, it's a lot to unpack, but it's, I'm glad I'm relieved, I know.

It's, I'm sure lots of people hear a lot of the characteristics of it and identify with them. It doesn't necessarily mean they have ADHD. Well, who knows? As you say, who knows who doesn't, who doesn't it's only something which is becoming much more to the forefront now isn't it but it's totally i don't think it has a stigma now do you i don't i don't i don't think it probably does some people that feel honestly the reason i'm sharing it is not because i want to sit here talking about myself it's i i really it's more that i'm sharing in the hopes that it might help other people 100% yeah you know you can run a successful business and you can you know do things as and it is i mean I hear from so many people that are.

And I know now, this is the other funny thing. Since I now know all the symptoms, I meet people and I'm like, oh, God, yeah, you definitely are like, the fidgety thing is really interesting. And I don't, Brad says even when I'm holding his hand, I'm constantly like flicking. Like I'm not, I'm fidget it, like, I fidget. Oh, you're a fidgetter. My head, I'm constantly going at it, like, I'm constantly doing things. And it's a, yeah, there's, there's various, so after you've had your,

consultation and yeah i was going to ask what's next so there's also there's different there's different grades so you're sort of rated on a sort of low mid high and he said i'm just above i'm just above mid um but as i said i'm not hyper so i'm not like i wasn't i wasn't the kid that was like couldn't sit still at my desk i'd fidget but i wasn't like running around the bouncing out i wasn't running up and down trees and things like that i'm it's probably quite a low hyper a bit got it um so but it's more um um yeah it's more it's now when you get given the diagnosis you then have to go for blood tests so they don't just go oh yeah just go on some medication there is up some medication that you can

take um which is meant to hyper focus you which i would really i i'm as we now know i've i've told everyone which is totally fine i am writing my very first book and this was one of the reasons partly that i wanted to get tested was because when you are writing a book as you will know poll you have to hide the focus. You've got to put it. You've got to sit in one place and focus on that one thing. And of course, if your mind is going off left, right and centre and you're trying to, it's really, really challenging. So it was part of the reason I was like, with this help that I was, could get some medication or I equally don't want to change my personality because I feel like that would be weird if I suddenly sat here like, yeah, totally. Is that what it does? I don't know this is the thing I don't fully know and I don't really understand

enough about it but I have to go for blood tests for various things I guess they have to find out if you can't just take medication sure they have to find out if you're all clear

to take the medication I've heard amazing things about it apparently just allows you to hyperfocus as opposed to being distracted by every other thing going on and I'd be interested to see how that allows me to

feel real I want to feel real contentment and everything I do as opposed to jumping from one thing to the other to the other to the other and then getting to the end of the year and being like, oh my God, I didn't stop. I haven't stopped. And I don't even think I stopped to appreciate and smell the roses and got that amazing thing just happened. And I know a lot of you might be listening and thinking, oh, we're all like that. We all do that. But all I can say is

it's different. So it's either that or there's therapy as well, but I just don't have time for therapy. And also sometimes sit with therapy. I've heard this all before. You can't tell me what I need to do. And then I'll get bored of them and then I want to go sit with the next person so yeah um we'll see but anyway it's do you know much about it paula have you got much experience in it i do not i know i mean i know a fair amount from i don't know past lives but it's not to any extent i don't i've got lots of good friends with ADHD funnily enough interestingly um but you know i don't i don't know the ins and outs i'm not well versed in in all of it no it's my short answer is no i don't i don't know

nearly enough. I'm really curious. Very good friend of mine, a local girlfriend of mine, Hannah. She is a psychiatrist and she deals, she works for a big company and does amazing, she's incredible. She's one of those people, you know, when you sort of sit with anyone that is in psychology, and they sit and they just sort of look at you and you're like, I know what you're doing. Stop it, yeah, stop it. Stop looking into my brain. But when I told her and my other very good friend Tara, we were having a glass of wine and I was like, I think, I think, guys, I think I might be ADHD and I'm going to go and get tested and they just looked at each other and sort of laughed and they were like, I'm going to say this really in my most professional way, but obviously

you are like that. You're not curious that she sat there with that? I guess it's not one's place. She said it the most nicest, most loving way as a good friend can, but it was just interesting because she couldn't say that to something, but it's becoming so now. a topic that we are able to talk about it and recognize it. So, but I'm hoping it will just help generally. Now I recognize it and I know that it's something I have, that I can approach it with good humor and a bit of a better understanding. Yeah.

I guess also you can harness it for the forces of good, right? You can be like, the benefit of this is X. Yeah, but I'm also freaking exhausted all the time. Yeah, I'm sorry, that's awful. I don't wish that on anyone So there we go really I just you know There you go

It's a it's a big share But it's like it's You know Some people might listen and go Oh god Get over yourself JJ No one's going to say that Oh no they will

There'll be some Karen's out there for sure Oh they can politely stop listening And off off they trot This is a place of support With positivity love and respect Thanks so much Anyways it's God it's been a big year for me I mean what a shitter

Yeah, but it's not a shitter. I mean, it's been a shitter with, obviously, everything. Roller coaster, yeah. I would love nothing more than just to talk to him about this and tell him and for him to have probably an understanding of why I'm the way I am. So when we went down to Cornwall, I didn't actually share this with this. It's a really sweet story, but I found up in the garage, because we're clearing out the garage of this Renault.

And I found this bag, this big old Tesco bag. It was shoved full of cards. letters, old photos of my past, like within like younger years, teenage years, like saved letters from like grandparents and postcards from relatives, like all sorts of hilarious letters that obviously when we were kids, we didn't do phones, it was all pen pals. We'd write to each other the most hilarious letters to like best friends being like, I'm completely madly in love with Keanu Reeves. Like he is my husband.

I'm going to marry him. And like just, you know, stupid things about being fingered and by this. gross bloke and like, you know, this boy that I was dating. Just funny, funny stuff that is literally in written. I mean, it's not like you can just WhatsApp this crap and you know. Delish. Okay, good. You can't delete that stuff.

It's like, there it is. Plain the day and I've since shared it with all those friends. But we, um, but I found a letter that my dad had written me and it actually makes me well up even thinking about it. And it was about the fact that I got a place at uni and I want, wanted to go to uni, but I didn't have good grades. And I had this place at Lufford, we're doing some Mickey Mouse subject that, and my parents were like, no, we're not going to pay for you to go to uni when you're not doing a subject

that you even like really know about or care about. You're just going for the crack. Yeah. And that's probably why most people go to uni to be fair. My parents were like, no, we can't afford it. We're not going to know. And anyway, this letter was obviously in response to me being really. upset with them and having a big fall out with them. And my dad wrote me this like two-page letter

about the fact that you've got to start focusing and you've got to start channeling your energy and your attention into one thing. You're here there and everywhere. You don't focus. And it was this letter that was really heartbreaking to read because obviously now if I knew what I know, he would have known, he would have known differently to how I was feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would. So it just explained a lot. And it's like, we love you so much. But you've got to start focusing and concentrating and being more, you know, channeling your energy. And so there you go. Yeah, can't tell him up, you know, because we talk to him, but, you know, can't actually physically tell him, which is obviously sad. But there we go. Oh, my love.

Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway and FanDuel has fresh ways to bet your favorite clubs, like the new two-up money line. Cash out your bet as a winner if your team goes up two goals at any time during the match. Download FanDil today and hit the pitch. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem, call 1-6-6-5-3-1-2-6-100. Physiconics, Ontario.org. So there we go. Good on you.

Thank you for sharing that with the group. I look forward to hearing more of this adventure and what you learn from it and what you take from it. Yeah, I'm excited to see what the medication is going to do, quite frankly. Sounds fabulous. I'm going to do a lot of reading up on it because there's a lot of research to be done. And my little nephew, Harry, is ADHD and autism, mild autism. And I can see it in him.

And again, I feel the sort of the judgment I had on him when he was a little boy, and I was like, oh, why is he like that? Why is he constantly running around and jumping around the place? The great thing is that my sister has even educated me and how you have to be really, really patient with children who are ADHD. Right. And really understanding of why they are the way they are. And us growing up as kids didn't have that at all now.

No. It's literally like, oh, yeah, my kid's got ADHD, so I know how to handle it. It's driving me absolutely potty. He's jumping off the walls. He's not concentrating. The teacher said he's not paying attention. We now know that that's what it is and we can approach it in such a different way. Yeah.

Which is amazing. And my parents weren't given that understanding. And therefore they probably just thought it was a massive pain in the ass and flunking it. I mean, it just wasn't a thing in the same way. was it? Whereas now it's so much more common, it's so much more mainstream. It is, yeah, it is. So I think as parents now, we've got the, we've really got that the tools and understanding to know. But I will say if your little one is showing any signs, don't be, don't be ashamed or afraid or worried about it. Because it's not like it's, it's more

that apparently if you don't harness it, so this is a really interesting thing that I learned from this consultant. He said, if you don't harness, ADHD at the right time or the right age, it can basically cause either depression or anxiety and you can flip between the two. And as you get older, the bridge becomes bigger and the feelings of depression and anxiety grow because you haven't found the reason for your emotions. No, I can understand that. Yeah. So it's really, I would say, nurture it. Don't be afraid of it. Don't worry about it. But also knowing you, pal, you've obviously researched that. this within an inch of your life, right?

Because if there's one thing you know how to do, it's to get into the guts of it. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Of course. Yeah. So, no, so, yeah, anyway, insights.

If anyone wants to, obviously, ask any questions of me, please do. But I think it's just out there. It's just, I think it's important to share, and I think it's good to understand why we are the way we are and keep learning about ourselves and how we can better ourselves and our children and aren't we lucky that now there is this test that can be. done. I have to say one thing I will share, the waiting list on the NHS is astronomically long. I didn't want to wait. I was just because I'm so freaking impatient. I was saying I'm going to pay for it. It was, it was really expensive. So it is expensive to do the private test. So if you

can get, if you are worried about it, get on the list of the NHS as soon as possible, I would say. One thing I, I am just going to say that a couple of, a couple of sources for you. There is, if you are going to GP, there is a term right to choose. Just Google right to choose ADHD and it will give you all the details. I'm also personally going to point you in the direction if you do have children with ADHD or autism. I'm going to point you in the direction of a very, very lovely person called Izzy Judd. A previous client of mine, she is wonderful in every aspect, just from inside out, the most beautiful human, and she has a son with ADHD. She's started a podcast, obviously for anyone that knows Izzy and Harry Judd, go and have a look at her Instagram,

go to her podcast. She talks all about this and very openly gets lots of amazing guests on. So yeah, go and check out Izzy as well. I think, I'm really glad we've talked about this, because obviously you and I've talked about it in the background. So I'm really glad that we've brought it out and aired it and now you can be so much more open about it. Because even some of the jokes we talk about, as you've said, about sort of, you know, the reading and the TV and the things that we discuss, I think it's really helpful. And actually, when you have this when you have ADHD, the interesting thing is like you, apparently you finish people sentences and you interrupt people. And actually even having this podcast, you have to, you can't do that

when you're running your podcast. It's one number one like rules, isn't it, when we first started is you don't interrupt each other because it causes a complete chaotic mess of editing. But it's interesting as somebody who is ADHD, as much as I, it's almost like, you're kind of like, like this all the time. And what that means is that your brain is never getting a break. So your brain is just like highly functioning the whole time. And you've got to sometimes switch it off and give yourself a break to allow everything to sort of almost like your nervous system to repair. That sounds exhausting. How do you give, how do you therefore give yourself a break? What's the strategy? Sleep. Sleep is another thing. Apparently if you're ADHD, you sleep much more than other people. You need your sleep. Some people from survive on six hours sleep. No problem. I have to have eight hours sleep. Otherwise I feel totally the next day. Okay. So that's interesting. Yeah. And I know that. I know I need my eight hour sleep of solid sleep. And I do I sleep like a baby. So it's my, it's the way I, that's how I regenerate for the day ahead. Right. Right. Because your brain is just on like overdrive. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad.

we've talked about this. You know we love talking all things, well-being, mental health. There are no secrets. There's no shame here, my friend. So I'm so happy. I hope we've inspired others to think about this too. And it feels, I don't really feel like we should change gears into questions. That feels like it would be a bit strange. So should we leave it there for this week and next week do a big old bumper-palooza question spesh. Oh God, yeah, give my brain a break. I'm going to go on ice roll my brain now. Thank you. Honestly, thanks so much for the platform for allowing me to sort of talk about.

I know you want to, you were the one that was like, come on, I think it's, Polly was the one, by the way, that was like, I really think we should talk about this and share because I think it's really important. I think it's nice to share. So I really hope that was useful to some people. I'm sorry that it wasn't. We'll be back next week with sort of far more fun stuff, I promise. All right, my pal.

Go have a little rest. Well done you. Proud of you. A chance. Thanks, darling. And thank you, everyone. Be kind to yourself. Love you all very much.

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