The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 10- Sundaycast: My Toxic Traits

Episode Date: September 13, 2020

We in the double digits baby! Feeling confident today. In this episode I welcome the haters and talk about my life. Happy Sunday!! Patreon.com/tjms 

Hi, welcome back to the podcast. Happy Sunday. Wow, there's a lot going on right now. I put on a headband to pull back my baby hairs, but then I also have my mask on still under my chin from the drive-thru I went through this morning to the coffee shop. But straight up, I feel like today's going to be the best podcast ever. Honestly, the dots I just connected in my brain went like this. So you know how athletes love game day? And it's like they live for game day it's what they like the purpose of practicing and doing everything they do is because there's nothing more exciting than getting out on the field and playing a game so straight up I feel like every morning I get in the locker room which is my car and I have this pre-meditation pre-podcast

time like I'm getting ready for the game and then by the time I get through that drive-thru get my coffee and get home I'm like ready for fucking game day I'm right now I'm like I'm on the field I'm in the fucking zone and I'm so excited and this kind of adrenaline is it's insane I just don't understand like why it took me this long to find my fucking passion I'm a podcaster I identify as a podcaster here I am um so let's talk about it uh that's what I thought about I'm like if I could because I used to be an athlete I used to play sports and I can't think of anything that's given me an adrenaline rush like this lately and I'm into it so I'm sticking with it uh yeah so basically let's talk about the last 24 hours let's get this out right off the bat because yesterday

I failed to discuss it until the end because I have to update you guys I have to update you guys on what I did over the last uh 24 hours I mean episode 10 here we're in double digits it's going to be a banger today uh yeah double digits number 10 who's catching feelings last 24 hours let's see okay so as I said I got coffee this morning what's new um dude I smell so good so I woke up I had a little slumber party with you guys this morning on my Instagram story I slept in a little bit uh I just felt I don't know it was like it's it's Sunday I'm gonna just lay in you know what I mean? And then I did a little slumber party with you guys. I was in bed posting on my story, which was kind of fun. I was just like, you know, looking cute in the covers, whatever. And I

proceeded to bitch about how I don't have coffee. So then I was, honestly, I sat there for a long time thinking I should postmate because I postmated Chipotle last night because I didn't have any groceries which is what's on the agenda today but yeah I sat there and then I was like okay fuck it just wake up with a do do your cold shower get in your car and get your coffee so that's what I did but dude I smell so good right now I put on so I'm just smelling myself sorry uh I took a cold shower I blasted myself with perfume um I got in the car and I got my coffee and I'm so excited to do this podcast oh my god it's the last 24 hours let's see what I did um yeah like I said I got chipotle last night because I don't have any groceries um like I have eggs but that's

just not enough I mean I don't even have vegetables I have no the only vegetables I have right now are a red onion and moldy cilantro so oh wait I do wait what else do I have I think that's it um let's see what else I did uh what did I do yesterday oh I went to the gym yeah typical I lifted um okay last night when I posted to Chipotle I got some dms about my fucking ottoman because apparently I talked about it in the podcast but then it's like I get dms like people are like oh like what do you you know you do some freaky stuff on that ottoman in front of the mirror don't you and I'm like come on you see a tufted leather ottoman and that's where your head goes like can I just be in my man cave and have that and just not have any okay I need to stop but

yeah a lot of people like the leather ottoman it gets them um in there they they start getting uh I don't know their mind goes to a sexual place so whatever uh what was I talking about the last 24 hours oh yesterday this was this was my uh the low point of yesterday I sat so I took a little nappy poo a little quick nap in the afternoon and my phone fell behind my couch and I spent 45 fucking minutes trying to fish it out with a spatula from behind my couch and my couch is heavy and I was I couldn't find it and I did like the arm reach where my my fucking shoulder felt like I was gonna pop out of my socket I did that for like a good two and a half three minutes and then I was like okay go to the kitchen get your spatula and then I had to like fish it out and I

couldn't see I didn't have a flashlight on my phone to find my phone so this whole ordeal it literally took me 45 fucking minutes and I finally got my phone because and that's in that in that moment in that moment I realized that waking up from a nap and not having my phone to grab because it fell behind the couch for like I the fact I couldn't handle life for two seconds without it and I'd immediately go and do a search and rescue rescue mission with a spatula on it it says a lot about my phone addiction. So, um, instead of like remaining calm and just like, you know, getting up, maybe drinking some water, waking up from my nap appropriately, like a normal person, I had to fucking get a spatula and fish it out. So that's what happened yesterday. Um, honestly, I feel

like I need a fucking Rosetta stone. I need a fucking Rosetta stone for you guys. So you understand my language. What the hell did I just say? I need like, you guys need, yeah, I'm going to I'm going to talk to Rosetta Stone and put together a little program for my language because I don't what the hell did I just say okay I'm rubbing my eye I have this headband on it's really cute it's got puppies all over it but straight up the little baby hairs on my on my head right now are going crazy because my hair is growing out and I refuse to get it done because I like my roots blonde again because I just I don't care right now I'm like not seeing any people um shit let's see episode 10 who's catching feelings I need to stop saying that I said that

way too many times yesterday um what else did I do yesterday uh oh this morning this was a little traumatizing on the way to the coffee shop I saw uh two skunks blasted on the pavement like ran over a lot of guts and shit everywhere two skunks within like a hundred yards I was like what's going on it's kind of sad like both of them got smashed by a car um but yeah so that was what i saw this morning on the way the coffee shop also on the way back from the coffee shop i saw this couple fucking oh my gosh this is so typical but like they're probably tourists taking some like instagram pictures in front of uh a palm tree but the thing is the background is this haunted house abandoned house close to where I live that's like boarded up with chain link fence or whatever like

it doesn't even look nice in the background and they're standing in front of it taking a photo so I was really confused um I don't know but it was funny I was like people will do like a palm tree it doesn't matter what the background is people get excited um yeah oh I feel like I need to get this off my chest early in the uh podcast too here uh I gotta I have to I have to attract some haters right now I feel like I need to like slowly over time um I'm gonna say things that's going to trigger people and make them hate me but I'm gonna intentionally do it right now and say this um because I've identified that people with haters have like amazing careers and so I want to have an amazing career as a podcaster and I need to here it is I am the future female Howard Stern

I am the future female Howard Stern that's what I'm going to say that's the word I just pulled that out of a hat to piss people off so if you are annoyed by that if you if you hate that perfect haters come through okay give me a career I need that okay you know what I'm saying uh what the fuck am I doing just get over it it is what it is oh shit and I feel like okay we'll say this I need to get this off my chest uh so I I feel like I offended people yesterday uh so I gotta take care of your little feelies right now I'm talking to the boys I said I know I said like don't come shoot your shot in my dms if you can't ball because you're dealing with a pro and I and I totally that was like so overly confident of me

and I was talking shit and I know that sounds cocky but straight up this is how I feel this is how I feel I'm sick and tired of people my age talking about how shitty they are and how much depression and anxiety they have and they're fucking oversized hoodie they're no makeup and they're adult acne and they just sit there and bitch about how much of a low self-esteem they have and how many problems they have what the fuck is wrong with being confident and telling guys or telling people that you're going to be the future female Howard Stern and uh don't come at me in the dms boys if you can't ball because I'm a professional at this shit what's wrong with that can we promote confidence can we promote having high self-esteem because here's the deal yeah I

get it having anxiety and depression and sharing that on social media is so relatable you can really curate an audience that feels close to you as an influencer when you do that but you stay stuck all these people my age and I'm you know I see a lot in the younger Gen Z generation but like they stay stuck in this little narrative that they're depressed and they have anxiety and it's like they're everyone bonds over that but it's like okay I want to be the person I want to be the person and I hope you're you're on the same page with this and I'm praying for um praying for uh the haters but I'm also praying for the support I want to be the person that's like yeah I struggle with depression like in the past I did but I know that's selfish

just fuck it's all about me I don't want to talk about it anymore I don't want to make my personal brand that I have fucking depression and talk about all the time I want to be like hey I'm working on it I'm working on the solution if more people out there would be like you know what I'm depressed I low self-esteem I have anxiety but I want to be I want the solution to be I'm happy I'm confident I can speak my mind and say what I want without worrying about people hating me or being canceled if people were like actively talking about solutions and outcomes to their problems I think we'd be in a better place so that's what I want to be I want to be on this podcast I want to be a person that addresses my issues but doesn't sit here and wallow in it I

want to be like you know what I'm the future fucking female Howard Stern what did I say oh Jesus I'm feeling confident episode 10 I'm in the double digits this is a banger of an episode Um, yeah, like I just, I want confidence to be sexy. I want to, I want to promote that. I want it to be like, I don't know. I'm like I said, I'm sick and tired of these people being depressed in their hoodies and their adult acne complaining about the world. Like talk about how you're working on it talk about what you're doing show up in a in a more like yeah okay what the fuck am I doing this podcast like I said uh I don't think I said this yet but I don't have a plan it's Sunday I just feel like I'm full of energy I'm full of enthusiasm I'm in the

I'm out on the field like I I do think that uh the energy's still up have I drank a sip of coffee yet on this? No, I haven't. Um, dude. Okay. I have to say something too. I have to expose myself right now, but I feel like the literal, the reason, the literal, the reason I volunteer the idea already that I'm going to have guests on the show is because I know I'm green. I know I'm new at this shit and I don't feel confident that I can carry it on successfully completely on my own because I feel like and I'm not going to bring the woman thing into this but I feel like if I don't say that you guys would be like who the fuck does this chick think she is doing her own show like no one asked for this like the popular people haven't accepted you as a pop

as a podcaster yet like you can't just do it on your own but you know what I'm saying fuck it you know what part of being the change I wish to see in this fucking world like straight up I'm the backbone I'm the backbone of my own podcast this is self-fucking mastery okay not giving a fuck that I'm I'm a total nobody and doing a podcast anyways like that's where I'm at I'm in the fucking double digits this is episode 10 I'm feeling confident okay don't talk to me but yeah it's not bullshit like the fact like I started out this podcast like whatever I'm just gonna get in the habit of posting all the time but the fact I already let you guys know that I'm gonna do guests and I and I it's because I didn't feel confident that

I could do it on my own like who do I think I am even telling you guys like straight up even telling you guys I'm gonna do video the reason okay now I'm exposing myself again the reason I said I'm gonna do a video podcast is because I was like they probably want to look at me and they probably don't give a fuck that I'm just talking their ear like I'm a girl they want to see me and so I need to like be on camera I don't know like I thought that like in order to be taken more like seriously I need to do video I don't know I got issues but you know what so does the U.S. so does the U.S. we got a lot of issues right now holy shit I woke up to some wild ass information. If you watch my Instagram story today, um, because you know what I do,

and this is what I want to promote. Not only do I want to promote about, uh, there's some themes I carry on throughout, throughout, uh, my podcast here. And I'll, I'll give you some cliff notes. If you're taking notes, uh, the things I've talked about in the past that I stand for, uh, listening to your own intuition, listen to yourself, um, and seeking solutions instead of talking about problems and bitching about the world all day like actively pursue solutions and another theme that I haven't really talked about yet I feel like is and I and I bring this up because of what I saw online this morning but I do think the major issue we have in the U.S. is a communication issue so as as I've said before I'm being the

change I wish to see okay I'm trying to be an articulate person in society coming on talking about issues communicating practicing what I preach I don't know if I'm doing a good job at it I just feel really confident today episode 10 but um double digits but uh this morning the reason I bring that up is because I actively seek opposing opinions to what I believe and that happened this morning I've been seeing a lot of shit about climate change and I've been seeing a lot of shit about the opposing opinion about that especially what's going on with the fires right now and I'm just I'm not going to go into it I don't want to talk about it like I could rant but I'm saying the fact that I don't just see popular people in the

you know the celebrities and the popular politicians and all of them I don't just see their messages out there like oh my god climate change changes are a huge problem it's you know blah blah I don't just see that and go oh yeah fact I believe everything they say because I like them I go okay that's a valid point obviously I've noticed there's a real issue obviously like in my lifetime I've noticed it like it's it's a fact um but again I go okay well what's the opposing opinion here because and if my the reason I'm bringing this up why does this podcast have to be fucking serious like this why do I do this whatever but the reason I bring it up is what I want to see more people do especially my age millennials gen z whatever it's like yeah follow

your follow your favorite people your favorite celebrities your favorite um activists online do that but put your opinions through court every fucking opinion you have get an opposing opinion for go go go like this in your brain go i believe that climate change is real and then go i wonder if people don't believe climate change is real and then go find those people and go listen to them and try to see their opinion and that's the problem is that when i said we have a communication issue um that's what this morning when I was on I fucking got on a rabbit hole on Twitter and it was I was stalling trying to decide if I was going to post my coffee and like got in a rabbit hole and I've been really bad at checking my phone when I wake up in the morning

but um whatever it's Sunday and doing whatever the fuck I want it's my life I'm grown um episode 10 but yeah I recognize like if only those people saw what I saw maybe they would have a different opinion and it wouldn't be so dramatic out there so anyways uh enough about that shit I I do think I need to have some sort of serious phase or like chunk in each podcast um but it's easy it's easy to see someone you love online say something it's easy to agree with them and it's it's it's harder to take the time to seek an opposing opinion and that's why you have a communication issue what kind of conversation do you like people just okay so yeah that's the social justice movement I want to create having like

an extended conversation with people that disagree with you and yeah um I'm going on my note here I'm like finally finally um finally referring to my note because I write one every day for the podcast um how are you guys doing I always ask how are you doing uh happy Sunday uh is this the seventh inning stretch already I feel like this is gonna be a quick podcast I don't think we're there yet what the fuck do Addison Rae and Kourtney Kardashian talk about that's what I wrote on my note what do they talk about I'm so confused uh I know that came out of nowhere if you don't know who I'm talking about you're not on TikTok but Addison Rae is like a super popular TikToker she's like I don't know like 18 19 and she's

hanging out with the Kardashians and it's so confusing and I just want to know like when her and Kourtney are at Nobu and get you know they're getting their sashimi what are they talking about what the hell are they talking about it's such an odd thing to me so that's what I want to know I wrote that on a note here let me know DM me if you know what they talk about um oh I was gonna list off my toxic toxic traits I thought about doing that segment in this podcast because I know like we're dating at this point like I said yesterday who what woman is in your ear this long every day because I'm a daily podcaster I'm here every day seven days a week 365, uh, 90 episodes by Christmas. That's where I'm, I'm looking. Um, I'm looking at a lot of

podcasts. So we're dating and I was going to list my toxic traits because I feel like that's important in a relationship. And I, I'm a, I'm a bit shy to share my toxic traits cause I don't want to trigger anyone, but I also don't care cause I hate having to be paranoid about triggering people and I can't just say what I want but I feel like I'll list two okay my toxic traits straight up I can't stop stop laughing in serious situations it's bad I laugh in serious situations I started this started young when my parents were yelling at me I remember that my two siblings and I would like my dad would be super serious trying to like you know give us an education because we didn't do the dishes right or something and then um

oh my god I could tell stories about my dad teaching us how to do chores correctly it was like such it was so dramatic but I get it like I think if I was a parent I would be so annoyed if my kids were just like not competent at tasks and they were constantly just doing like cutting corners and and doing bullshit jobs and there's yeah so but anyways I feel like as kids we would sit there and my dad would be serious or my mom or whatever and we'd be laughing our asses off we couldn't hold it in and then they would get even more mad so I still do that I still have a hard time being serious in in uh or not laughing in serious situations so toxic trait number one um that's why oh my god okay this is why this is why and this is why this I I've discovered

my dream job because this isn't so much about laughing but like ah shit I have this since I I don't know why my brain evolved to do this but because I have a hard time taking things seriously clearly and I ask a lot of questions and I'm always like what's the point of this why is this so meaningful and serious because I've identified in this lifetime so far that there's a population of people that take things seriously and put on a like a professional vibe or a very like politically correct vibe and that's in like the workplace or in public when you're like it's it's to the point now oh there's my positive affirmation okay I have my um alarm on my phone telling me that I'm gonna choose to be happy today but I mean this even in

social situations women talking to you if you're a woman stop saying oh my god I'm so sorry when you accidentally like bump into me in Safeway or we don't have Safeway in Vons and Whole Foods and in a grocery store like if you accidentally do that it's not that dramatic you don't have to be like I am so sorry oh my god I'm so sorry like people are so afraid to be like I don't know offending people and so they keep their shit together they're they're very they're like overly nice they're overly polite and I just don't play that game anymore and so that's what sucks so like speaking of my toxic trait being not being serious in serious situations I realized that if I was to ever sit in a boardroom again be around a desk with like a bunch of people that's I don't know

like to have to hold down a job like I used to have scares me because I don't know if I could take it seriously that sucks and that's why I think I need to stick to podcasting and just be me and do this shit for a long-term career because or do we do a job like I have which is something that's like it doesn't involve there's no HR going on I'm not like sitting around with I don't know this is I don't know am I this is I can I even am I gonna get fired for saying this I don't know I love my I basically love the type of job I have like I told you guys early I work I work remote I my job is like a very um 2020 type of job so it's related to um like connecting with people through social media it's very it's fun it's great it's perfect for me

but I get anxiety I don't really have it but it makes me nervous to think that like I just don't want to go back to a stiff stuffy corporatey environment again because I don't think I'm gonna be able to like hold it down and be serious it's just not for me I don't I think some people are cut out for it we need those people but I don't think I'm one of them and that kind of sucks but that's how I've evolved I've like once I it's the it's what I've said before I'm the type of person with a brain that once I see something I can't unsee it and that's where I'm at so that's a toxic trait as well um yeah you can't fucking mess with me because I remember everything I have a photographic memory I just like to say that to not be uh to piss people off because

every genius out there has a photographic memory hi I'm a genius I'm confident I'm gonna be the future female Howard Stern haters come through who's pissed off who wants to cancel me haters come through this podcast is about attracting the haters and being confident and saying fuck you to all the people out there that are making a career out of being depressed and talking about it who's trying to be confident who's trying to sell confidence out there and make it sexy again because I know I am we need more people that like love themselves and are just like happy and just I'm like sitting here literally leaning back, looking outside, doing a podcast on Sunday morning with myself. And like I said yesterday, if this isn't your dream job, if this isn't your

dream career, I don't understand. I can't relate. I'm just so confused. And I'm also, like I said, I'm confused by all these other podcasters that do it once a week. And while I understand they actually have legitimate careers and they're busy on their meetings on Zoom five times a day, and they're like actually they actually have jobs that are i don't know like i'm thinking of other fellow entertainers but you know what like i've learned from who who promotes like the the the five to one a.m oh gary v he would say fuck that do a daily podcast anyways suck it up buttercup go hard there's time in the day to to be to be a daily podcaster i don't care that you're a real like entertainer with a lot to do every day but you're not on set it's coronavirus

shut up why am i identifying as an entertainer already i'm really full of myself but you know what if you're listening you're entertained so fuck off oh my gosh i'm so mean today i don't i don't like myself now my self-esteem is going down because i feel like i'm not i'm too brash. I'm too rough. I need to be more feminine. Do you guys want me to talk like an influencer for the rest of the podcast? Hey guys. So I'm letting, I'm letting, I'm looking at my note here and just want to say that, um, I'm really loving this podcast. I'm really liking you guys. I consider you all my best friends. Oh, I know what I could talk about. So I can't continue on that act any longer. I know what I could talk about.

So yesterday I was trying to do, I was trying to log into my Patreon because I thought, okay, in the future, I think I'm going to have a Patreon. So you guys can be like, like I can involve you guys in the podcast, people that sign up for my Patreon or whatever. But both emails I've used say that, or it says, I'm looking at right now, something went wrong. We are unable to create or log into your account. So I've tried everything, resetting passwords, logging in, and I can't do it. so last night I got really frustrated trying to log into Patreon. That's a 24-hour update, something I did yesterday. What else? Okay, did I even, did I even really look at my note here? How did you like our slumber party this morning? Did you enjoy it? My little Instagram story?

That was fun. Someone, oh, I'll read a DM. You know what? Should I read DMs? I think I should read DMs oh my god I'm I'm not like popular but uh I do get DMs from you guys uh there's a time there where I turned off my response or my DM reply because my job it was like too much but now it's back on so you guys are you guys are um saying shit to me uh oh PS at some point in the podcast I have to act like I'm a professional podcaster and say please if you're on iTunes your apple podcast right now leave a five-star review just click the five stars submit did i say four stars did i say four stars did i say three did i say two did i say one no i said five okay look at your hand right now how many fingers do you have okay now go on the apple podcast app how

many stars are there what's the maximum number of stars you're in kindergarten we're doing a little math problem five stars submit send i think i have four five-star reviews right now shout out to you guys DM me if you left me a five-star review um you know what and here's the thing I realized like as a podcast listener for years I have never like I don't I've never left a review so I'm I'm not one I can't talk I can't say that so um you know what I mean like I'm a phony person for trying to make you guys give me a five-star review right now when I've never done it myself so yeah just putting I'm I'm being being very uh honest with you guys and raw and letting you know that um in addition I have never subscribed to a Patreon I've never I've never supported like

I've never maybe I've used a code or two like when people make money from their podcasts because they do um what's it called ads and shit I've done like I've probably used a couple codes over my lifetime over the decade of listening to podcasts for like free shit like Postmates of course and I think what else Thrive Market I think I used back in college one time but I get it like you guys probably don't do it either so that's why I'm like weird I feel weird about doing ads because I'm like no one's gonna even fucking do this or like you like buy shit with my codes so I don't know and I anyway so last night I was on Patreon getting frustrated so then I went off so then my ADD was like just look at cats so then I got on my pet finder it's gotten to the point where I've

looked at so many cats I'm looking at dogs I'm like I don't know if it's a cat I want because I can't find one so then I look at dogs and I'm like they all are like I mean it's pet finder they're all like a bunch of like I mean I love dogs I love all dogs but they're not they're just not doing it for me I need like a purebred I need like a you know when they have the dog show on Thanksgiving isn't it usually the what's it called AKC dog show Thanksgiving I need Jamie uh I'm my own Jamie Thanksgiving I'm on Google trying to be fast uh the national dog show on Thanksgiving what's it called the kennel club wait what's that like blue ribbon shit anyways if I get a dog I want it to be like the top like breed of or like what's the term

I'm thinking of what's the pie chart you have like uh not a fucking a flow chart of ancestry uh I want I want the ones that come from the dog that what am I trying to say I want a high quality animal. I don't want a low quality animal from pet finder. That's what I was saying. I'm on Google right now looking at, uh, the national dog show for Thanksgiving. How are you guys doing? Do we need to do a little break right now? Cause I'm not really staying focused. This is the best podcast ever. If I just tell you that, if I stay confident, if I say this is the best podcast ever, two things are happening. I'm attracting the haters because they disagree. And then I'm, I'm putting that in your brain. If you're kind of like

enjoying me and you're like oh yeah this is the best best podcast ever even though she's not talking about shit right now she's on google she needs an assistant but she doesn't have one i'm really trying to find what this dog show is called the national dog show tv show watch now what the fuck oh on hulu i can watch a previous year's dog show i miss animal planet oh my god i just fucking unlocked something from my past animal planet was the shit that show or that was that a animal planet was its own channel is that even around anymore and i remember it was a who's the guy from saved by the bell who's on like the entertainment tonight uh mario lopez i think hosted one of my favorite shows on that what a throwback you know what other show i really

miss is, uh, so you think you can dance. So you think you can dance was my favorite show of all time. The Jabberwockies confused the shit out of me to this day. Like they are so good at dancing and I really want to know how they're doing in this, uh, in this climate of COVID because they're, you know, live entertainers and I know they have Vegas shows and stuff, but, um, that was such a good show I yeah so I miss animal planet I miss deadliest catch uh discovery channel that was a great time great phase of my life and I miss the jabbawockeez in it so you think you can dance I love talking about the past because it just reminds me of sweet times you know what google's not telling me anything let's go back to pet finder so anyways last night

this was part of my 24-hour update because this podcast is basically that uh I was looking at patreon it wasn't working out couldn't log in I'm gonna have to call fucking corporate or something I don't know I'm gonna have to like figure out my password situation um and then I got on pet finder I was looking at kittens little kittens and then I was like I don't know if it's a cat I think it's a dog and then these dogs aren't doing it for me so uh enough about that uh I don't know if I asked you guys or let me know if you liked the format yesterday of um doing a BuzzFeed quiz if that was interesting I did like the food one my food opinions I don't know if you like that or not so DM me let me know but that's that's what I was gonna do I was gonna read DMs

I have a couple unopened ones unopened DMs right now so let's open okay just uh you know replies to my story with like the flame and like the heart eye stuff that's not even saying anything it just kind of shows like that was your reaction I don't like okay guys do not just send me a reaction then I then I just feel obligated I have to double tap it and it's like just put together a sentence and DM me don't just react to it I never react to people's stories I know I told you I don't watch Instagram stories I watch like five but I don't just like put a the reaction it's a waste of my time and it's a waste of your time okay if you have something to say to me write it out yeah this is from I'll just call him Jaime I think that's a Spanish name for what his

American name is he told me to get up because I was in bed this morning with having a slumber party with you guys and am I still recording okay still recording I got a moving truck outside what the hell's going on there's always something guys I also need to talk about the dump the dump trucks in San Diego. I'll make a little note here to talk about that. But anyways, Jaime DM me to get up and I said no. And then he's like laughing face. Okay. So that's a DM. Let's see if I got another one. Queen of POV, queen of point of view. This guy, we'll call him, he's an OG. You know who you are. I hope you're excited that I'm talking about you right now. OG meaning I feel like there's a lot of people that literally have followed me since Snapchat in college and now

they're on my Instagram stories and listening to podcasts every day so you guys know me really well but let's call him Franklin just using the first letter of his name to make up a name he said queen of point of view and then uh I will fight you because I posted my as a joke mom I posted this is not what I did not go to I did not post my coffee but I post I put on my story my order from Starbucks it was going to cost me about $17 to postmate and um I made a joke like don't do it Jacqueline but uh mom I do cert okay I like to have fun we already have we've we've established that I like to I like to keep things light and entertaining so I literally posted that not because I was going to actually postmate my coffee for $17 it's because

I thought it was funny I think things are I think the dumbest shit is funny and I had to put that on my story because I knew I was going to go to the coffee shop and then prove it to you mom that I only spent a dollar on my coffee because I have rewards points for rewards points this week from going to the coffee shop every day so it was only a dollar so anyways but Franklin here said I will fight you. I'm going to double tap that. And I'm going to say, I'm writing back. I'm talking about this DM on the podcast right now. He's going to lose his shit. You guys are my best friends. I'm talking about this DM on the podcast right now. Do you guys still get the Sunday scaries? I don't know. Is that still a thing this year? Okay. I'm going to open some more DMs,

but I got to narrate what's going on outside. I'm not going to go cross-eyed looking through the blinds today I'm gonna open them all the way there we go hi guys do you see my little call center headset I'm talking about you okay so I got two guys one of them's got a bleached out um oh Franklin's typing I just told him he's on the podcast I got two guys one one guy he's looking like a member of NSYNC with his bleach tips and they've got a lot of those moving storage uh what what the fuck is it called? So I got a moving truck outside. I'm doing a narration right now. I'm trying to give you guys some interesting content. Bleach tips has got these, uh, dollies. Is that what they're called? Do you haul heavy shit on? It looks like they're going to move

a refrigerator, um, rest in peace to their lower backs. I hope they've got some, um, good core strength. They're lowering the dollies down. He's using a fucking joystick thing on the back of this on the back of the truck okay you know what's really weird to me I have a couple conspiracies I'm gonna drop right now I feel like when the fuck are trucks gonna modernize when the fuck is the post office mail delivery car gonna modernize and evolve it has looked they have looked the same my entire life there's no up there's no new generation um male car it's like that boxy i'm talking about usps united states postal service cars they've never looked um different or you know what i mean they've never um evolved and i'm just wondering like

when is it going to start looking like 2020 when i see a male car go by so that's conspiracy number want confused let's get a let's get a a new model let's get a new drawing of a new male car um yeah does anyone else think about that like whenever i get behind a male car i'm like dude when i was three years old on the back roads driving home from school behind one of these bitches they still look the same then in the 90s than they fucking do now my brain doesn't it just can't it can't handle it it can't handle it okay I'm getting real sick and tired now I'm excited I think over in Japan they're flying a car around right now they're doing a little test that's getting me real excited okay starting to look like 2020 over there

uh like fucking Shanghai is it Shanghai no Dubai like that makes me when I see that city I'm like okay yeah 2020 it's the fucking future but looking around sometimes here I'm in bum fuck San Diego I don't want to talk about I don't want to talk shit on my favorite city here but yeah sometimes I'm like I just want things to fucking modernize um and it's been put in my head I don't know probably from all the podcasts I listen to and all the conspiracy people that are like yeah like the we're so behind techno we we have the ability to be so much more advanced than we are but I don't know how that works like we're still stuck in like the 70s with our mail trucks so that's conspiracy number one conspiracy number two am I still recording yeah okay

is I got these garbage trucks I got these garbage trucks picking up garbage on my street seven days a week I'm talking to you San Diego waste management what's going on I hear that every fucking day and I look outside I'm like it's Tuesday the next day it's Wednesday I'm like Thursday Thursday is usually garbage day right I'm telling you on Sunday I'm probably gonna see one today and I should do a a story I should take a picture of it to prove it to you guys I'm seeing these bitches every single day and I don't like it first of all I don't like the noise they make but it annoys me I'm like the garbage does not accumulate this quickly it's not a 24 hour thing you do this once a week so if anyone knows anyone that works at waste management San

Diego out there please let me know I'm always telling you guys to DM me because that's where I find um answers for my uh questions a lot of times but yeah that's a just a story I felt like sharing and just to get off my chest um I could rant you want me to rant about other shit I don't like I was gonna go into my toxic traits I didn't really finish that out oh another toxic trait I have is not being able to stop eating when I'm like I swear to god when people are like oh I'm full I'm like I don't I can't relate how do you do that I'm a I'm a finisher like last night I'm looking at my chipotle I'm like I am not a quitter got a burrito bowl do you want to know what I get in it do you want to know what I get in it okay I'll tell you chicken burrito bowl basic bitch

chicken burrito bowl uh I do get guacamole I get all the veggies I basically get like every salsa except the red one no rice or beans I don't fuck with that right now you know I'll let you guys know I'm I'm on the shred I'm on the shred it's it's I I'm noticing some some some changes I am I will say all these heavy lifting days are they're hurting me I am very sore but I'm noticing some changes so that's positive but you know I'm keeping the keeping the rice and the beans out right now and I personally think it's like enough after you get all the veggies and everything from chipotle it's like so much food but anyways what I was saying my toxic trait is not being able to stop eating is like uh and this is information like I said I'm telling you my toxic traits

because I consider us dating right now I consider us um in a in a deep um compatible what am I saying we're in a relationship because I talk to you every day if you're uh because I'm a daily podcaster and I talk to you more than other women in your life so you might as well know this shit I have to be very uh I have to be vulnerable I have to put myself out there too yeah so anyways I'm looking at my Chipotle last night I'm like three-fourths of the way done and I probably could have stopped probably could have stopped but I was I was like mama didn't raise no quitter okay I'm probably gonna intermittent fast like I always fucking do the next day so I'm gonna need this. I'm going to need this from hours between like 10 AM and one. I'm going to be, I'm going to

be happy. I finished this Chipotle bowl and I didn't save it. Um, because right now, currently 11, 22 AM still looking at a coffee here, half drank proud of that. Didn't take me the full thing to get this lit today. Proud of that, but I'm not hungry. I'm not feeling the hunger pains because I'm not a quitter and I my toxic toxic trait is I can't stop eating and uh if anyone out there has issues with that like I just don't understand like if you put something on my plate in front of me it's getting cleaned okay I'm not licking it I'm not disgusting but like I just finish my food and I have a hard time understanding like how do people just stop when they're full like if the food's still on the plate I'm gonna finish it it's probably from my childhood like

two more bites I remember it was always like my mom would make us like I was a healthy kid like she gave us I mean they fed us well but I remember it was always annoying to like get told to eat two more bites of like broccoli was never an issue for me but my mom cooked spinach like cooked cooked spinach is so gross like hot spinach and I remember that was the most I literally remember plugging my nose as a six-year-old like putting it down because she told me to eat tumor bites what am I talking about my childhood trauma for I was that was my childhood trauma if you want to know the extent of it it's because I had to uh I'm funny because I am funny and I'm confident and I'm telling you I'm funny because I had childhood trauma and had to plug my nose to

eat spinach because my mom force-fed me no I'm kidding no she definitely did not I did it to myself um yeah okay wait who got who I think I said something that might have pissed someone off right there did I get another hater I said I'm funny who's who's offended take a second check in do I have a new hater who's checking out who's pissed off who's who wants to uh x out of this podcast you guys know I'm just trying to keep it funny like but to be here here's me being like my intelligent intelligent little self because it's funny and it's light and it's like whatever like fuck it I can be on this show I would be lying to you if I haven't assessed the fact that I need haters. I need them. Okay. I'm looking for them. I want to be controversial, controversial,

and I want to be polarizing. So, cause you know what? I want a fucking career, man. I want a career in this shit. If everyone loves Jacqueline, we've got a problem. I want people to debate me. I want people to be like, yeah, I don't agree with what she said on that podcast. Cause I need some color in my life. I need some, I need some, I need some shit to work off of. You know what I'm saying? If everyone agrees with me, I'm bored. See, I'm funny. Who's hating me? Who hates that I said that? Uh, episode 10, feeling confident. This is a great episode. I feel like I could wrap it up. I don't, I feel like yesterday and the day before was about two hours and that was a little too long, but, um, you know what? This is self-mastery, man. I'm, I'm taking the time

to master myself and get to know myself and have therapy with myself and, uh, create solid opinions for myself so people know very clearly what I stand for. And I'm working on becoming more articulate and well-spoken because i'm self-conscious of that and i know that in the next 10 to 20 years and 30 years i'll be like fucking howard stern okay so there were that's where we're going this is a self-match mastery practice this is a self-help practice i'm trying to promote doing a podcast with yourself um if you struggle with mental health issues everyone loves to talk about their mental health issues but what are your solutions for that okay what what's your solution get off instagram self-help to me this is not self-help to me posting a

relatable photo of yourself with a blog post underneath talking about your depression and trying to be relatable that's not helping you okay that's you're gonna stay stuck that might it might be a relief at first to let everyone know that you struggle with anxiety and depression you have adult acne and you're sad that might be a relief and I and I I get that I've personally I feel like I've done some shit like that before but hey listen to Jacqueline here moving forward you're you need a solution to that you need to be like all right here's what I'm gonna do I'm going to get in front of a therapist every week boom I'm going to follow suit I'm going to get myself a call center headset and I'm going to become a podcaster and I don't need approval

from the cool crowd to do it I know no one's asking for this but I'm going to do what Jacqueline did go on Amazon buy a little call center headset and I'm going to do a podcast and talk to myself because that will help my mental health and uh I'm a trendsetter I know I am guys and I know it it might hurt the haters to hear what I just said, but I do think that I'm going to start seeing a lot of call center headsets on a lot of people in the future. And I think that this is going to be, this is the new age of influencing the world. This is the most, to me, to really get to know someone in 2020 online, the best way to do it is to listen to their podcast. End of story like you can't watch a vlog that's been edited where they only show little pieces of

the time they're talking in their day you can't look at a picture in a in a in a blog post underneath yeah they took the time to write out their thoughts but to hear someone's vocal cords working on you know and their brain cells firing and having a long-form conversation is like like I said earlier at this point it's like we're dating okay who's catching feelings I know I am I'm catching feelings for myself I'm feeling myself and I feel like you guys know me better than anyone at this point episode 10 I'm so confused I'm like okay guys to be to be serious right now I'm gonna try to be serious this year has been such a shit show but I did not anticipate I didn't plan to do a podcast ever. Let's tell the story. Let's tell the story. Let's go through

it a little bit right here. How did this even happen? So I know you guys are annoyed. I know the haters are like, Jacqueline, stop fucking talking about Joe Rogan. But I'll be honest, I was watching his episode with Duncan Trussell, the five hour and 19 minute episode. I remember very clearly five hours and 19 minutes. And that night I had posted something on my story. And then one of my OG followers or something said like, oh, I'd love to talk to you about this and blah, blah, blah. Then somehow we started talking about podcasting and oh, I should do a podcast about this. Literally, I'm 10 minutes into that episode with Duncan Trussell, watching on YouTube, chilling for the night. You know, I think same shit, different night, probably went to the gym,

came home, made some dinner and watched that episode. And literally 10 minutes in, I was like, okay. I just feel inspired right now. I'm going to talk about 2020 and give you guys a little life update because I haven't been doing YouTube vlogs in a couple months. And I was like, I'm just going to start talking and make a podcast. And that's literally how it happened. So in all seriousness, looking back, this wasn't like a, oh, I'd love to be a podcaster someday. I want to do a podcast it happened very like randomly and and sporadically it wasn't a conscious like plan which is fun because now this is the thing now I have this OCD about it where I'm like I'm a daily podcaster I'm going hard in the paint I gotta show up every day

it's part of my daily routine so that's cool and also I'm so passionate I'm so passionate to like get on and, um, and riff about whatever I want, because it, it seriously, it not only feels good as someone, like I said, who's got some, you know, I, this was my depression year, man. I got, I got an antidepressants for the first time in my life. And I got into therapy because I've been, you know, my mom made a good point. She's like, Jacqueline, give yourself a fucking break. You lost your job at the beginning of the year because the coronavirus. And yes, you had a family with open arms, arms inviting you home because they were scared for you to be by yourself down there in your new apartment. She's like, Jacqueline, give yourself a break.

You've been doing this all on your own. Like no shit. You're struggling. So anyways, this has been a weird year, but I feel like it's taking a turn. I feel like I am working on the, the solutions. You know what I'm saying? Like I said earlier, and I'm, and I'm pushing myself to do this every day because, um, I'm a podcaster. It's my dream job and I'm not going away. And, uh, who's getting sick of me talking about it. It's just crazy to me. It's just crazy to me when you guys DM me and talk about the podcast. I'm like, they know so much. I'm like, wait, I said that yesterday. Someone's like, wait, let me read the DM. Okay. He goes, oh wait. He just replied to, I told him I was talking, talking to him on the podcast right now. He goes, well, I can't wait to

hear you again for 115 minutes. Okay. Yesterday he said in quotes, I didn't know I said this because I told you guys like it's my podcast have been so long lately. I don't listen to the, I don't listen to them back. I don't remember what I fucking say. And that might be a problem, but fuck it he goes in quotes he was like in quotes he wrote I'm actually rubbing my tits oh my and then end quote oh my fucking god the best intro and I was like did I really say that shit I should listen back I don't edit I mean honestly so I said that yesterday what did I what why did I bring that up that I was rubbing my tits I don't know but yeah it's funny when you guys like talk like you guys are you pay attention you know and then you'll dm me and I'm like oh my

gosh oh my gosh it's kind of crazy but you know what here's where I'm at social media okay does anyone I don't feel like anyone talks about this and this is the point of the podcast this is where I'm at what's the point in 2020 I tweeted about this I'm gonna I'm gonna directly read this off my tweet and I don't give a fuck I literally tweet to screenshot it and post it on Instagram like I used to um fun fact I used to have like I blew up overnight uh not really overnight but I got up to like 13,000 Twitter followers when I was like 18 when I was uh I told you I dated Harry Styles friend from high school that was my first relationship but before that there was like this you could literally search well I don't want to talk about it it's kind of

it's really embarrassing but I don't know there's like this thing about Harry Styles and me and I would get DMs people are like oh like are you traveling with a band and all this shit and people thought I was like part of the band and I milked that for a while because it was funny I was like oh this is hilarious I'm literally not involved at all just so happens like later on I had dated my ex who was literally like friends with Harry back in high school but um I was oh but that was fun because I could, I could say anything and people would just retweet the shit out of it. And it was like fun. Cause I had actual engagement and that's why I'm saying this right now. The whole point of me saying this, let me find the tweet is cause here's where I'm at with

social media. It's like, what's the point? Let me see. Um, Oh yeah. I tweeted Gen Z kids really out here getting social media famous for doing the bare minimum in a hoodie with a depressed facial expression. Uh, yeah, that's kind of related to what I said today, but let me go further here. Yo, why the fuck do we have fingernails? Tweeted that. My tweets are just like whatever I'm thinking. Um, okay. I do want to find it cause it explains my train of thought and I, okay. Guys, how are you doing? Bear with me. We don't edit. This is a stream of consciousness get over it um okay I'm at the point in social media this way I wrote 8 18 20 I'm at the point with social media where I so badly want billions of followers purely for the

non-stop notifications all day because I'm lonely as fuck I bet it's fulfilling to feel like you're I bet it's fulfilling to feel like you're speaking to a stadium full of people every time you post something just thoughts because that's where I'm at it's like 2020 we're all doing social media it's here to stay so to be part of the club of people that have like a shit ton of interaction all day it would be nice it'd be like there's all there's constantly material for you to work off of and there's constantly like a an embrace of what you're doing online and the efforts you're making because there's an audience out there that is enjoying it and to and seriously literally getting a dm or two from you guys is like enough to get me like hyped to keep going like it doesn't

matter that i'm not getting like people will also like the amount of fucking dms that i get that are like dude you should have like 100k followers i'm like i don't i'm not a try hard i've never i told you guys i've i haven't taken social media seriously ever because i just think it's it's it's i don't know like it's weird and so as flattering as that is i kind of like the fact that I'm nobody and I'm I kind of want to stay like I don't want a lot of followers I want this to be like the little club that you're you're in but at the same time I think it's kind of cool like if I had a ton of notifications and and shit all day it'd be fun it'd be like I could banter I could do a lot more I could I don't know like when I read dms I probably have some really wild stuff

to talk about on the podcast should I read my tweets oh I'm crossing my legs because I have to pee I should talk about my outfit I took a risk this morning guys I wore an oversized hoodie out the door with no pants considered it a dress and yeah so I'm wearing that uh messy bun I my hair is still wet from my shower last night and well I showered this morning too like I said I did a cold shower but my hair is up in a bun still wet from my shower looking like shit oh yeah I have my headband on I'm wearing two gold bracelets these gold chains because I also identify I as a, as a rapper with my chains? Um, dude, what if I was a rapper? That all started in high school for me, guys. I literally was like, I, I'm exposing myself right now. I

don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm just playing with my chains. But I felt like my way of rebelling was listening to like really really raunchy rap music because a lot of the boys that I liked or the people I want to be friends with did and then I could like hang with them and I remember one time oh my gosh Josh if you're listening right now do you remember at Megan's house in her karaoke basement because she had this amazing projector and we would all have parties there and do karaoke i remember after a dance one time this was a homecoming dance me and josh rap battled or whatever lip synced to hit him up by tupac and i knew all the words because i had practiced literally i would remember gangster

rap music stuff in high school to like try to fit in with the boys that i liked and also the boys that I liked were looking back they didn't like my high school experience I don't even why am I talking about this whatever you're tuning in to stay entertained so whatever uh I feel like high school to me was like liking boys that had girlfriends that was the story of my life like all the boys I liked were in relationships and then what's fucked up is like after college or after high school they all hit me up and some of them still do and it's like such a it's so funny to me like looking back how I was like completely friend zoned by all of them which was fun because it's like I had crushes on all of them but we were friends and it was cool but um yeah I don't know

why I said that oh I was playing with my chain I was talking about my outfit today so yeah my hoodie no pants uh it's like tie-dye super trendy everyone's doing tie-dye right now tie-dye it makes you look cute and young it really does and I still identify as a 12 year old so that's all good I was talking about that then I wanted to talk about my um like high school experience shit there was something else I was gonna say from that um rap music damn it boys in high school was I gonna riff on that oh I kind of just did oh I know okay so that dance I was telling you I was doing karaoke to hit him up with my friend Josh that dance was homecoming get this so I wasn't like a popular

girl in high school I wouldn't consider myself one I was always on the outskirts I feel like I was the one that I was never in the cool group but I would hang around it and they would like sometimes invite me in but all of the stoner boys loved me like all of I remember like I had pottery class with a bunch of like I guess they were like the stoner kids and they were so funny like I could hang with them because I feel like I picked up my I don't know like my humor in high school when I was hanging with them it was fun like I feel like I understood them and they understood me but I don't really fit in technically like I was still like the girl with the I was wearing like the scarf around my neck and the vest like a puffy vest and boot cut uh I was wearing the

boot cut jeans let me think the brand lucky jeans like boot cut lucky jeans with um what kind of shoes was I rocking in high school maybe I was wearing flats maybe I was wearing flats I think I had flats on and yeah I'm like hanging out with these stoner kids that are making pottery of course they were they were practicing their bong making technique and I was I was vibing with them all of high school but I I mean I I was trying the thing is I was trying to like look and be like the popular pretty girls who were girlfriends to all the boys I liked so I was trying to like be like them so those boys would like me too and it was all fucked up but um but I was saying about homecoming and that that karaoke thing is that that's a year uh shout

out Stefan you're definitely not listening but he asked me to homecoming in front of the whole fucking school like at an assembly and I think he was class president or school president I don't really remember how he was our class president I think I don't I don't know if I can name drop but I'm just doing it whatever it's been years but uh he literally I had no clue that clue this was gonna happen but I'm up in the student section I think this is my junior year and I'm up in the middle of my like all the class all the grades would sit in the same section so I'm up there and before the assembly I hear I hear uh Jacqueline Monroe clap clap clap Jacqueline Monroe clap clap like this chant of my name and I'm like what the fuck's going on then I look across the

I'm smiling right now because I'm like really remembering this like it was yesterday then I look across uh I was in shock I look across the basketball court in the gym and Stefan's walking towards me with a homecoming sign like a huge one and he asked me homecoming from the whole school I had to like go down and walk to the middle of the basketball court and say yes and it was like awkward like the walk back and everyone's like yeah going crazy but anyways that I brought that up because it made me remember that that night we did karaoke me and Josh were having a rap battle to hit him up because I practiced all the lyrics because I was trying to be cool and like know all the gangster rap back in the day to be friends with him uh that's the year I went to homecoming

with him and got asked for the whole school and I'm literally nobody like I was not a cool I don't think I was a cool girl in high school at all like I felt like I was always trying to fit in and no one would accept me except the stoner boys oh man but I do remember like asking to asking boys to tolo like I would do some extreme shit for that my freshman year I asked my friend Jeff. Um, he was one of the, yeah, he was one of the boys that I like vibed with. I think like he was funny. He was with all the funny boys that, um, you know, liked me, but I asked him to Tolo by writing it on a bunch of girls' stomachs at track practice. We all went out on the football field and like, I don't even know how I had the confidence to do that as a

14 year old but uh yeah I did some like extreme shit it's weird I don't remember having confidence in high school like I but I think there were times when I really did so wow exposing myself if you went to high school with me and you're listening hi how's life are you uh booed up with three kids yet that's such a mind fuck straight up like the other day I got on Facebook and one of my good girlfriends from high school has two kids and I had no clue like I knew she had one kid but I didn't know she had a second one like we're not really like I don't I don't really talk to her at all anymore but it's such a mind fuck when you when you go on Facebook and you're like two kids not just a kid at 26 because now

that's how old we are fucking two kids it's such a mind like I just it's crazy um I just did some weird like I'm on the phone mindless shit right now I just folded my mask like a paper football as I was just talking um telling the story like it was making me do that I just put my phone behind my laptop and hid it from myself like an idiot because I need my note um let's see what else did I just do I was like playing with a little paper the boys outside are still doing the moving truck shit okay wait this is there's something it says something on the box the side of a box it says victoria austin miss this is fragile victoria austin and these u-haul boxes shout out to these guys this is some hard labor like lifting like i said uh praying for their

lower backs but moving okay I could talk about moving for a long time right now moving sucks I hate moving and I did it all on my own this year to move to this apartment I got my own u-haul I lifted all of my shit on my own I had a little bit of help with my mirror I had to call uh this really goes to show you how uh on my own I am out here but uh I have this 500 fucking pound mirror I got at a boutique where I used to live up in Del Mar and it is so heavy. I had to call, like I went on an app, I think it's called TaskRabbit and I had to get a guy to help me. And he was trying to, I mean, he was super fucking hot. Like he showed up in this Toyota Tacoma, like so California. And he's like, Hey. And I'm like, Hey. And we were both in sales at the time.

This was pre COVID when I moved into my apartment and we were kind of like flirting with each other about our sales jobs and he was trying to sell bathtubs to people or something. And I was trying to sell a timeshares, but, uh, the fuck am I saying this story for talking about the guys, the movie guys outside. And I'm talking about my moving, moving experience and how shitty it is. But yeah, I had to get a task rabbit to help haul my mirror in my apartment. Guys, I'm obsessed with my mirror. Uh, like I said earlier, someone DM me like the Ottoman, the leather Ottoman that's tufted i live in a man cave okay but i always get the dm i get very frequently is about my huge mirror in front of the ottoman and people think i'm like getting freaky and i'm doing you know

x-rated shit on it but i i'm not going to disclose um a solid answer to that that uh question or whatever i'm just gonna let you think for yourself but uh you may or may not be wrong or right uh what am I saying so but moving sucks like it sucks the life out of you like it really like it's so much to unpack into like oh just like chaotic clutter and shit everywhere having to like remember where everything is and yeah but I'm proud of myself I did it all on my own in one day uh yeah actually I think it was yeah it was a one-day thing um shout out to the task rabbit that helped me he's definitely not listening but he was trying to hang afterwards literally on the task rabbit messaging thing because that's the only way we could communicate

he gave me his number he's like yeah if you ever want to like you know grab a drink it's always the line you ever want to grab a drink dude if you're trying to hang out with me be straightforward I have a current situation like if well I don't want to I don't want to expose anyone but I'm just saying like I can tell if a guy like wants to hang you know what I mean like I can tell if they're like I don't I'm just sick of like trying to do mental math here about is he trying to lead this conversation to hey do you want to hang out instead of just opening with it I'm at the point now where I'm I'm just like just ask be be bold just ask straight out the out of the gate and honestly if you're fucking with me right now if you're vibing with me if you're like you're my

woman let's get fucking married hit me up just slide in my dm shoot your shot okay I know I said earlier that don't come at me in the dms if you can't ball because I'm a pro I'm the future female Howard Stern I said that because I'm trying to attract the haters but like go in with that kind of confidence I need you to be confident I need you to be like because I need to know like I I just need to know I don't play games anymore I'm sick of it I'm like I'm just not I don't like to do the little cat and mouse shit as much I do like it I do like a little I like to I'm very playful like yeah like you know we'll just like pretend like we don't like each other for a while and then all of a sudden but that's the thing is like after a while I just need to I need you to

cut to the chase and if your opening line is I've never ever been so attracted to a woman like you in my life because of your podcast and I just really feel like I know you so well and I really want to get to know you more and I just really want to like sweep you off your feet like slide in and let me know I'm lying to you and myself if I was to say that this podcast like I I've said I don't really have an objective here I'm just shooting the shit coming on here every day but I do feel like this might find me a a great life partner someday I don't fucking know I'm not shy about it it's 2020 we're all I keep saying that but like this is the modern age and so if someone but here's the thing that caveat or whatever the counter to that is that it's not

really conventional to know everything about someone before you actually start dating them so that also freaks me out a little bit but that's what I'm signing up for that's what I'm but I don't know I think half of me is like okay it'd be cool if if your future like the people you date in the future listen to the podcast that'd be cool because they would that means they really like you because you're sitting there talking about all your problems and all your toxic traits and telling you like just very personal stuff so that's probably a good sign because they really like you after all that but the other side is like I want someone to get to know me day one like it's like a like for example a blind date or something they have no clue who I

am and do it that way because then I could actually tell my story and they wouldn't be like yeah I know I heard that on episode 10 you know what I mean fuck it at the it comes to the point where you got to be like this is my goddamn excuse me sorry i didn't mean to say god mom i'm sorry um do not use use the lord god's name in vain i'm a former catholic or i can't say that i was confirmed but um anyways my mom still goes to church and stuff but this is my profession at some point you got to say this is my fucking profession this is my career and so this is what i'm signing up for this is what I do for a living and sharing information. I can't withhold anything if this

is what the job calls for and asks me to do, okay? I'm a daily podcaster. Who's doing a daily podcast? I'd like to know. NPR, I'm looking at you. I'm not talking about the news. I'm talking about just regular ass podcasters doing it every day. Shout out to you guys. I know you guys are live in the dream like me. And I think, you know what? I think I know what happens to people that do a weekly podcast. I'm going to just be an ass and assume right now, but I feel like if I did this once a week, I would have a point where I kind of dread it a little bit. I don't know if I'd look forward to it as much. I don't know why. Like if I knew that every Friday I have to do a podcast, I'd be like, I don't know. There's something about doing something once a week

that'd be like oh I gotta like put my thoughts together about I don't know like I just think it'd be harder but when you do it every day it's like brushing your teeth and you get so used to it I'm really doing a little like mental um assessment here it's weird how like part of who I am and what makes me me is that I describe things in my like I unpack shit in my brain and then part of this podcast is me talking about it so that's what I'm doing right now like what would it be like to be a weekly podcaster and I feel like if it was if that's what I did I'd be I would like procrastinate be like oh fuck Friday I have to do it and I wouldn't want to do it. How are you guys doing? This is the official seventh inning stretch. So

at this time, I'd like you to go to the podcast app and leave a five-star review. Did I say four? Did I say three? Did I say two? Did I say one? No. What number did I just say? Look at your hand. How many fingers do you have? Five fingers. Okay. What other things come in fives? Draw a star. Okay. Class. Seventh inning stretch right now. So what we're going to do, get a piece of paper. I'm getting a pen here I'm doing it myself so uh I'm uh this is interactive so get a piece of paper here you can hear my paper do you hear that okay cool so get a paper this is a paper what is this oh it's my health insurance letting me know that I signed up for literally this is what pisses me off we're gonna do this

interactive game right now on the seventh inning and finish the seventh inning stretch but look at this fucking paper right now it literally says thank you for applying for uh fucking paperless billing and they said they're like but we have to send you this to confirm that it's literally i said i signed up for paperless billing and then it sends me a fucking paper the health insurance i'm so confused you know what i will say shout out mom for helping me out with my health insurance because i didn't have like now that i'm this age she helped me like sign up for it and get it and everything and I'm feeling top of my class as a millennial I'm feeling top of my class like show me a millennial with their shit together with their health insurance show me one I'd like

to know maybe they maybe they exist but I just have it in my head that they don't so back to the seventh inning stretch class get your paper I need you to draw a star I think you know where I was going with this maybe you did maybe you did and maybe you're smart I said I I want you to draw star and then count how many points the star has I'm counting here I'm just counting one two three four five five points okay now now look at that star now go to the apple podcast app and submit five stars okay seventh inning stretch is over that's all I wanted you to do proud of myself I push myself to ask you the hard question to do that but um dude how am I going to be the future female Howard Stern if I don't rise to the top with my reviews on my podcast like how does that

happen because other right now right now I'm looking at my garbage can right now I'm like actually looking at my garbage can I need to take out uh I'm at the bottom of that shit I'm nobody but I know you agree with me I know you agree with me that I need to uh more people need to know about the podcast because you guys you guys are into it and you want more people to be into it. Cause you're like, dude, this is getting me through it. This is getting me through my 2020. I didn't know I needed this. I didn't know. Guys, you're telling yourselves right now. I didn't know I needed Jacqueline Monroe to be in my ear every day. I didn't know I needed her. So here she is. Dude, I'm sounding like such a narcissist right now,

but you got to believe in yourself. You got to be confident. This is the solution to my fucking problems. Okay. Just hang, hang in there with me. I've been the biggest shit talker this year to myself. And so now I'm trying to be like, you know what, Jacqueline, you're the shit. You're rising to your potential with this podcast. And someone's got to do it. We need more. We need more people out there. I've realized it's, it's very simple. It's very simple. There's just some people in this world that are cut out for certain things. And when I look around at fellow podcasters they all kind of fucking talk like me and like share my wit I don't know I don't know how to explain it you know what I mean so I'm like all right putting on my little thinking cap like a

little kid I'm like looking at the strangers here I'm like okay looking around I'm like oh they're kind of like me so I should do it too you know what I mean so that's where I'm at that's why I'm doing this um it seems like the most it's like the path of least resistance for Jacqueline you know what I mean path of least resistance you guys I've struggled I've really struggled with myself over the years um to pinpoint a clear career path you know I went to college I got my degree in PR I was gonna do broadcasting but I saw the bullshit in the news and I was like this is a bunch of bullshit I don't want to do that still think that so glad I didn't become a talking head and read a teleprompter and i'm really confused like i just want in 2020 we're all

talking about it we're all talking about how fucked up the news is and how they just keep carrying on these narratives that are not serving the fucking public and making us all fearful and divided so it's like i just want one of them at one point in my lifetime i want to see a news reporter live on air reading that teleprompter and cut in the middle of it just cut it off and be like this is a bunch of bullshit I can't do this isn't helping people I'm contributing to a lot of mental health issues and making people depressed because I'm reading this teleprompter how you want me to read it and then just like wipe their hands get and just quit on the spot I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet I mean is someone holding a fucking gun to

their head like to do that job I don't think so but you know what I mean like yeah so anyways I said that because I wanted to go through my personal um my personal journey career journey and point out the fact that I don't think I could do broadcasting because I just think it's like I'm talking about like traditional news I thought I was going to be one of those people on like I don't know CNN or whatever but um I did have an experience guys I went to the BBC when I was doing my study abroad so I like got to be a mock reporter like I got to do shit that was like oh if you were to actually be um a reporter what would it be like and I think so when I was at the BBC if I recall there was a plane crash that happened like during my tour I think I think

that's what was going on but it's really cool to see the newsroom like if you look down um on the right side was the um was the UK like British related news and then the left side was the world news for the BBC, which is really cool to see, like, it was literally divided in a bunch of, there's so many, I don't even know, can I talk about this as inside information, like, telling you guys what the insides of the BBC look like? I feel like it's not, but anyways, I got to see, like, what it's like, you know, when there's chaos and whatnot, but back to the point of me saying this, I have struggled, I'm still drawing a star, I'm doodling now as I'm talking, I'm, like, a little kid in therapy right now, I'm talking all my issues, but

uh, I have this, I've had this issue for a long time trying to like zero in on a career path that I actually like want to do. And then I'm passionate about, and I've always been jealous of people that are like, yep, I want to be a neurosurgeon. I want to be a heart surgeon. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a lawyer. I want to be a police officer. I want to be like people that are clear about exactly what they want to do. And I've always been like, I don't know. I don't fucking know and then I kept going like well you know it seems like social media is your it's like the best fit because you're creative and you like to you know entertain people so do that but then I couldn't take it seriously to be a blocker or an influencer

and this is where we're at guys September what's the date today Jamie uh September I'm looking at the internet right here September 13th 2020 it took me this long to find my passion um I'm just doodling right now I feel like this is why I need to do a video podcast because then I could show you what I'm up to um I'm trying to decide too what I want my background to look like on my set I want it to be like a crazy shit show I want it to be super distracting I don't want to look like a millennial with a plant and a white background like I want to have I should have like a pinata hanging from the ceiling and like oh I don't know just a bunch of crazy shit here's what I'm struggling with too so I know I just told

you about my career struggle trying to decide like I don't know I've just never been a very career-minded person I guess I put in my brain that to me I've told you already to me happiness and fulfillment is the true meaning of success versus like having a job title that's considered successful by other people in society like that's never turned me on like I've never been like oh yeah if I'm this job if I do this job I'll be taken seriously and I'll feel successful like I've never my brain has never fucking done that it's always been like I don't want to do anything I just want to be myself that's not true but I'm just like I don't know this is what I'm supposed to do you guys all know it you guys are all like nodding your heads like yeah Jacqueline we needed

you bitch thank you thank you thank you for having depression this year and going through it and doing a lot of like uh therapy because finally you found your you found your calling and we needed you we needed you but here's the other thing I'm struggling with so I've talked about how I feel like first of all my name is like Jacqueline Monroe Jacqueline Monroe it's like very 60s I don't know it's like very I don't know people say I get a lot of comments about my name like it's so like what's the word like Hollywood no it's like I feel like my name needs to be like, I don't feel like how I, my name, first of all, and then like my look is fits what I'm sounding like here on the podcast and my personality. I feel like my name needs to be like

Cookie Joe. I'm Cookie Joe. You're turning, you're tuning into the Cookie Joe show. You're tuning into the Cookie Joe show. I need to change my name to like make myself mentally go, oh yeah, like you're it's all in alignment man you're all like you're doing this podcast you're talking like this you're saying shit like this and then people when they click the podcast you're like oh yeah that makes sense because I don't feel like I look like I make sense for how I sound okay that's my problem I'm gonna talk to my therapist about this and I know that's a it's probably just it's all in my head as everything is and I'm an overthinker but maybe you guys agree with me too maybe you're like yeah I just would never have expected when I see your little podcast cover and I see your

like name and I go to your yeah like you wouldn't I don't know like I wouldn't fucking sound like this it's probably a mind fuck for everyone maybe that's refreshing maybe you're like oh finally a girl that uh she sent me for a loop there I don't know like I said you guys are every day you're in an obstacle course this is a this is a mental obstacle course not only for you but for me because I got to keep track of my trains of thought and you guys have to like you're gonna go back after the podcast and go like what the fuck did she talk about today and that's okay I need you to be confused because if I expose myself and I say something I'm embarrassed by after the fact that if if you guys forget it then that's great um still drawing my star I'm making

huge why do you why the fuck did they send oh we have to send you this uh to to confirm you signed it for paperless billing it doesn't make any sense how's uh how's everyone doing um i do think i'm kind of getting hungry i'm glad i finished my chipotle because you know it's holding me over for a long time I'm gonna go back to my DM see if I got anything dude how many times do you watch your own story every day think about that how many times do you look at your own fucking Instagram profile every day no one talks about that I watch my own story probably I don't know 16 times a day just tap through remember what I did laugh at myself that's healthy right like I said biggest fears coming across like I'm this narcissistic asshole who's full of myself but

to be honest like there's something to be said about seeing yourself online in a positive way that's it like it's like confirmation that yeah you know Jacqueline I'm doing okay I posted something witty on my story today and uh people uh are laughing that's my contribution to society like that's got to be taken seriously in my head from now on I gotta finally go okay I gotta go like Jacqueline I know you're not doing brain surgery on people helping them that way but you're contributing to people's happiness because of what you post on your story and you make them laugh for a half a second every day that's important let's put some value on that shit I'm not getting paid enough okay put me right up there

with a neurosurgeon I'm not getting teachers are not getting paid enough we talk about that a lot I'd like to talk about entertainers. All right. I'm a future female Howard Stern. I'm full of myself. I'm feeling confident. Episode 10, who's catching feelings. I got to get my haters going on right now. Who's pissed off. Who's annoyed. I said that I'm an entertainer. I'm an entertainer. I identify as a podcaster and an entertainer. And so I got to start believing in myself that this is important. And this is like my way of helping people. these guys are looking at me I'm on my call center headset they see me through the window they're still taking out the fucking boxes from the moving truck I'm embarrassed hey I gotta

pretend like they're my audience hey boys I'm leaning back I'm leaning back I'm getting real I'm getting real sexual with it I'm just leaning back dude there's something about boys lifting heavy shit that's just it's hot I don't know if I'm attracted this frosted tips boy but his friend here it's uh not too bad I'm so single guys I'm so single but don't hit me up because I'm not ready for I'm not ready for a boy yet a boy I said yesterday I'm just not in that headspace I'm just not you might think you just might be catching feelings you might be like you know what damn listen to her podcast and I'm feeling some type of way I might slide in but just know I'm not ready so please don't let me have some space

right now I said I'm embarrassed that I have a little social anxiety too like I'm just not in a place right now to and that sounds like a bunch of bullshit but I just I need my me time I need my podcast time dude I feel like too like if you're listening right now I feel like I'm on to some people I think there's some I think there's some listeners there's some closet Jacqueline Monroe show listeners that if it's you hi it's like weird to think I wonder who's listening like especially people that I like like my crushes my Instagram crushes because I have a lot guys I have so many Instagram crushes there's so many cute people like cute boys on Instagram right now hot boys not cute boys hot boys and I like the hot boys I don't like the cute ones

I do like the cute ones I have this type that's like I either like why am I telling you guys my type because I might well it's okay because I'll attract more haters if you if I'm not talking about you when I describe my type you might be like what the fuck Jacqueline that's so shallow and then hate me it's perfect so yeah my type is usually um I just don't want to offend boys out there that are like five nine you know what I'm saying not to be a bitch but like I have a type or I'm just saying like when I'm like damn they're hot I'm like usually looking at someone above six foot just being honest okay come for me hate me let's debate um usually above six foot um so my type is like either sometimes I go for like they have sort of like a baby face

not a baby face but they look youthful very like young like they could still be in high school but not in like a not that's not like inappropriate for me to say I hope uh I'm saying they're above 18 but they have like a younger vibe in their face but they're like buff as fuck that seems to be like a theme when I and the people I've dated they're usually like really tall but like cute in the face not hot in the face hot in the face to me is like really strong jawline like kind of like they're weathered in a way they have like a strong forehead strong jaw they're more like hot that's like a hot face like a classically like and like the cute face to me is more like friendly and like they're if they were if someone was like

oh that's like the animal version of that that to me is like a golden retriever the animal version of the hot face would be like a wolf or like a let me think of like a it's more aggressive like a golden retriever is like the cute face a wolf would be like the hot face and I think you know where you stand when I say this um I don't mind a weak chin doesn't matter to me I'm not like I'm not I don't care about if you've got attached earlobes or connect or um unattached I don't give a fuck about a widow's peak it's here nor there I don't care if you're bald I don't so guys so while I'm just I might have gotten some haters for saying that I like six foot or above but understand this there's a lot of physical features I don't give a fuck about like I just said if

you've got a widow's peak I don't care I don't care if you got earlobes that are stuck to your the skin on your face you know what I'm talking about okay does anyone else like notice that when they're dating someone like if right off the bat I'm immediately looking at them across the dinner table assessing if they have attached or unattached earlobes shout out my biology class in high school for making me aware of how those chromosomes work on people like those dominant traits I think that's just a female thing like we do this calculation our brain like looks in a man and we do this like that's my mental calculator that just went off um and we look for like there are certain facial things we look for I guess to because you know it's we're all passing the

jeans on we're all looking for that that good jean shit and anyways um but I appreciate beauty and other people and I like I just like nice faces um probably because I have one myself and so I appreciate when someone else does I guess that's how it works is that how attraction works I don't know but hey personality that's number one like I said don't come shoot your shot my dms if you're not ready to ball okay I'm a professional okay I was just in the locker room this morning like I said earlier I'm out on the field right now you guys just understand like your personality understand like you and I both know that I've got this shit going on I've got it going on and if you can't match that if you can't top that sorry not interested if you're

intimidated by it there's plenty of fish in the sea like I said yesterday I don't want to be another hot girl on Instagram there's enough of those I said that two days ago while I'm getting i i can't keep track i'm just such i'm in deep now as a daily podcaster but yeah there's enough hot girls out there plenty of fish in the sea if this is coming across like too much too much for you to handle um that's fine with me weed them out it's gonna take a very uh someone's gotta have a lot of fucking confidence to, to deal with this shit, or a lot of patience, why am I not, okay, literally, I'm drawing my star still, why am I talking about, like, boys and dating, is that interesting, um, I could go, I could go on tangents forever, but you guys are tuning in

for it, so fuck it, I'm talking about my life, I'm talking about my life, this is a podcast, literally wrote my description of the podcast is a podcast by me for you and it's whatever I want it to be who left a five-star review third time I'm reminding you dude I get it if you don't do it because I've never done it myself and like to actually do a task like you're probably at the gym right now you're probably on a walker I don't know where do you listen to this no one dm me literally zero DMs about, I asked you the other day to DM me where you listen. Didn't get a single one. So if you want to know anything about my engagement, engagement, my yeah. Engagement rate. Is that what it's called? Engagement rate. It's dog shit. Like my podcast. Well, it depends. I

feel like no one, um, they, they probably tuned out after five minutes and never got to that part. But yeah, like, so I'm just assuming right now, if you're listening, um, I really just lost my train of thought here. Um, you're out on a walk, you're at the gym. Um, I don't fucking remember what I was saying. I think this is me now realizing that I'm doing what I do at the end of every podcast. I have issues ending it. Um, oh, I mentioned earlier while I was about to end it, I'm getting hungry, which is true. So I think this has been long enough uh have a great sunday damn it i don't want to end it i don't want to end it let me see if i can look for anywhere content on my phone you guys need me you guys need me stay alive i'm like

your fucking ekg machine right now is that what that's called keeping your heartbeat on your heart going dude i fucking traumatized myself the other night when i was looking at rappers the ones that I didn't realize were gone I hate to say dead I just don't like the dead word this year I'm overly or I'm hyper aware of death we just had 9-11 I was looking at videos of people jumping it's just very hard for me to think about um but I didn't realize pop smoke died pop pop smoke pop do you emphasize pop or smoke or is it just like pop smoke you know when people do that like my grandpa says hot dog like hot dog do you want a hot dog it's just a hot dog hot dog hot dog so pop smoke is it pop smoke or pop smoke or pop smoke pop smoke what am I saying anyways I

traumatized myself the other day because I was looking I just like found out that he died and literally I'm saying this because I just said EKG machine and of course I'm on like Twitter or something looking at the news about him and like the fucking video of him going to the ambulance and they're pumping his chest trying to do cpr i'm like i didn't need to see that i didn't even know he was dead until two minutes ago and now i'm looking at that and that's why we all have depression that's on too much information in front of our face all the time we know about every little detail of everything and i'm not going to talk about this in length today because i was going to end this because i'm starving but one of the issues and beefs i have about the news

and just how everything's in our face all the time now and while i don't want to fight it because it's reality. It's just the way it is. If I want to be the change I wish to see, I got to talk about it. So I just had this epiphany, like, you know, back in my college days when I'm reading the newspaper, I'm like, dude, we're at the, it's at the point now where I know more about what's going on overseas and other countries and what's going on in other States than I do in my own community, my own little community here in San Diego. Like, I don't know the latest news here, but I know about the rest of the world and it kind of trips me out to think like yeah back in the day you know you're on your little you're on your little farm in Wyoming I'm just painting a

picture for you guys this is audio and you got to get your brain uh get your little mental paint brush so this is you know you and your wife 1910 in Wyoming um yeah I got a farm you got some cows you got a little sheep dog you also have some sheep that sheep dog herds the sheep around but I'm just saying like you would fucking freak out if your neighbor's house caught on fire you'd be like wow that's right next to me I know about that that's all you would fucking know about you wouldn't know like obviously yeah there's news and stuff around them but it's wild like back in the day like I'm just thinking like the human brain is evolving right now it's it's it's going through it's going through it it's getting put through a fucking washing machine especially

this year with contradicting news every single day but like when simpler times or when times were more simple you only knew what was going on in your neighborhood really like that's all you needed to know about and that's what I've realized in my lifetime I'm like okay I've been blessed I'm very grateful that I've been happy and healthy and made it through you know and nothing crazy has happened to me yet shit I don't want to say yet knocking on wood not yet it's never gonna fucking happen my great-grandma lived to be 103 I'm gonna do it too but um what was I just saying but uh like nothing has really changed in my bubble of my life like just because x y and z is happening in this country or in this state or this person's in office or whatever like my life

hasn't really it's kind of stayed consistent and I think if you do a little check-in right now with yourself you go like yeah okay pretty much everything's kind of same shit different year you know what i mean and that's just being like that's a rational way to look things like guys the wheels are falling off the wagon uh i need to end this happy sunday um wow episode 10 i think i just sent it send it the boys just shut the moving truck they're moving out i'm getting hungry i was i got anxiety right there to end it so i was like no i can't do it and then i just talked about some news bullshit again now i'm back on youtube looking or uh google looking for content looking at my dms right now dude should i watch some stories and make some commentary

when are people gonna stop talking like hi guys so just want to like check in do people actually let me know do people actually talk about that talk like that i know i've been so judgmental of social media influencers on this but uh someone's got to fucking talk about it i just like if i was to get a pr package hearing i'm not ending the podcast like if i was doing a video on something just arrived at my front door and I'm going to share this new makeup palette with my audience on Instagram I would be like oh fuck no shit a package at my door oh what the fuck I didn't expect that so I would talk the and then like a normal person who has an actual career and is actually financially stable

because they have um or they have a not financially stable what I'm saying they have a career from being an influencer be like what was that a knock on my door wow let's go check oh my gosh so it looks like guys oh my gosh I'm so I'm so shocked there's a package at my door so that's what they would say and then moving on to if it was me so I'd be like oh no shit package in my room what the fuck and then I get it I would be like oh shit I got to get a knife and I go get a knife in my kitchen and then like go over to the box so I'm like videoing this because I have to do it because I know I'm working with this brand, and I have to show it, so I'd be, like, cutting the box open with a knife, and be like, ah, shit, they really protected this bitch, there's a lot

of, this is, this is a hardcore packaging, and then I would, like, rip it open, be like, I don't even know who the fuck sent me this, the influencer would be like, so, okay, so let me just, like, get my little box cutter out of my, um, my package, my PR package drawer. And, um, let me just like, hold on guys, just bear with me. Okay. So I'm looking at this box. It looks like it's from, um, it's from Too Faced Cosmetics and oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I just like, um, when I had my meeting with them the other week, uh, I wasn't allowed to talk to you guys about this, but this is like a brand new makeup palette. And so I'm so excited to share with you today. so then that's how they would um start or they would like preface what they're about to open

and then I'd be like oh shit oh this is that fucking palette they told me about oh that that was that phone call oh okay so yeah guys so what's up uh this is a makeup palette from Too Faced they just launched um it's honestly like the same you've you probably own a palette that looks like it already uh these colors aren't new they've existed on the color spectrum for all of time all for all time from all time I'm uh I'm I'm what's called bombing right now um and yeah so like it's brown it's great for blue eyes apparently that's what they said in the meeting I just remember the other day this is like for blue eyes people with blue eyes this is a blue eyes palette uh so if you're if you have brown eyes please don't use my code on you and buy this just I'm

putting out there trying to be fucking straight up with you they specifically made this for blue eyes so don't spend your money so then the influencer would be like okay guys so i am i just love how they're using um minimal packaging here because they really care about the environment and that's why i support this brand so i just want to like call i just want to say bravo to Too Faced for doing that and okay guys so opening the palette here um this is a brand new formula it's new technology they literally infused this technology like never before you've never seen anything like it before I swear like I'm so obsessed I got to um test this on my zoom meeting the other day like I got to watch them swatch it and then um it pretty much gave me um all I needed

to know about this new formula I haven't used it yet but guys just understand I'm obsessed I haven't used it yet but I know I'm already obsessed guys okay so then I would be like okay so guys I'm gonna open this and show you on my arm what the fucking colors look like uh you're gonna be shook probably uh if you're brown-eyed because you're gonna be like what the fuck I could use this color too why are they making it for brown eyes so I'm just being straight up with you like the point is it's a blue eye palette but if you have brown eyes just I'm gonna probably piss you off but whatever so then I'd like take the my fucking dirty fingers and I'd swatch it on my hand uh and then I'd be like yeah so these are the colors uh they sent me I have to read this

card they say hi Jacqueline thanks for supporting or thanks for or be like hi Jacqueline we think you're great. Um, you're so awesome. And so here's a makeup palette for you to share with your followers. And your code is Jackie 20 for 20% off. Make sure you tag the brand and do a swipe up. Um, well I, I'd be like, guys, okay, so my code is Jackie 20. Uh, go to the link in my bio. I don't have 10,000 followers, so you can't swipe up. Um, so yeah, so yeah, this palette, now I have to go fucking put this in the recycling um I'm probably not gonna use this palette because I don't wear makeup because it's 2020 and I sit at home all day so um but thanks Too Faced shout out Too Faced uh killing the game making makeup products that look like every other makeup product

still um after all these years um when is it gonna stop when is it gonna be enough um we're we're good and the influencer would be like I need to fucking wrap this podcast up if you're enjoying this little bit right here, then thank you. I'm practicing, I'm practicing my, um, my, I don't know. Uh, the influencer would be like, okay guys. So I'm going to take out, um, so first of all, I'm going to go grab a makeup wipe to sanitize my arm and my fingers. Um, I'm also going to go wash my hands, um, for 20 seconds to just make sure that you never want to swatch your makeup or use your makeup with dirty fingers. Um, you just always keep it clean. So this first color here is, um, brown taupe and oh my God, I'm obsessed. This formula guys, wait till you see

this technology. It's literally, it's literally like, like think of, think of, um, like sand on your favorite vacation, same texture, same technology. So yeah, I'm just going to swatch brown taupe here on my arm oh my god do you guys see that dude I wasn't even pressing that hard it's that it's so pigmented it's so pigmented okay anyways guys you get the fucking point that's how the podcast is gonna end uh I don't know what I was just talking about oh like if I was doing like if I took myself seriously as an influencer which I wouldn't but if I did like that's how I would do it versus like oh I was gonna say is that voice real is that voice real um the influencer voice is it real or is it just what everyone is that is that an act everyone puts

on when they start to influence people i would argue it is and i've said that i think it's a learned behavior i think we've all watched a little too much keeping up with the kardashians i think that's how they actually talk and i think we all we've all copied them like everyone talks like hi guys so hi i can't explain it but i think you guys know what i mean am i being like I'm just being bitchy and bitter because they all have like successful influencing careers I'm sitting here sad as a podcaster not sad I'm happy happy as fuck to be just being me but I'm saying I'm sitting here as a podcaster taking pop shots easy pop shots of people that are successful because that's chewing on ice I gotta stop wait guys you caught me slipping I'm chewing on ice

that was so gross I'm saying it's easy to take pop shots like that because it's like it's I don't know I just think it's out there and other people see it but I don't I mean I come from a place of love you know I always got to say that like do your thing I don't want to judge you but I have I have to comment on it and if that oh perfect wait Jacqueline I did it again so to end this podcast I think I just got some haters for doing that so cool hi if you got haters you got a career um so that was cool if you were offended by my uh little influencer act there perfect come at me um okay guys I'm gonna end this podcast happy Sunday please leave a five star review uh just tap the five stars one two three four five how many fingers do you have

do it right now do it right now uh it's not that hard now I feel like a bitch repressing you to do that. But yeah, do a five-star review. I hope you have an amazing Sunday. Is there a football game on today? I think there is. I can't, I'm just trying to be one of the boys. I got to know what's going on in football just because of my audience. I got to cater to the males this season. So have a great Sunday and I will talk to you tomorrow. Bye.