The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 105- How Ugly Is My Personality?

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

Happy Thursday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up, guys? Happy Thursday. It's episode 105. Welcome back to the show. hey guys what's up it's Jacqueline happy Thursday what's going on episode 105 let's get into it. I'm not happy right now. I'm fake smiling. I'm fake happy-ing. I had a shitty day and I haven't come on here feeling this awful in 105 episodes. I can declare today, Thursday, December 17th, worst podcast day ever. I had a bad day. First off, if you're new, I'm here seven days a week go go ahead and hit that subscribe button on the apple podcast app and at the end of this if you're like I want more Jacqueline I want more of her I want to support the show head over to patreon.com slash tjms to become a patron and all my patrons get a shout out on my

Friday episodes and they get more content for me so check it out uh follow me on Instagram I'm a Jacqueline Monroe and subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'll be resuming my Monday, Monday through Friday, Friday, Friday. I'll be resuming my Monday through Friday video podcast in January, uh, here soon. So yeah, that's all I got to say about that. Ah, yeah. Worst day ever. Honestly, I'm going to be vague. I'm going to be vague. I've been home since Thanksgiving and I'm having a tiff I'm having a tiff with a family member a couple and um yeah I just felt like shit today and that happens I think we've all been there you kind of tiff with someone I guess I'm using the word tiff like uh we're like not really talking kind of ignoring each other because

we know like we don't we're just you know kind of keeping in our own lanes right now and I know the air will clear come tomorrow. But yeah, it was one of those days and happy, happy fucking holidays. Happy fucking holidays. You know what I mean? It's going to happen at some point. I got a household here, a bunch of dynamic, bold personalities. And I love that about us, but sometimes, sometimes it, you know, shit gets a little too, uh, we push each other a little bit too far I'm guilty of it I'll be the first to admit it uh and yeah so that's that's the kind of day I had I was sad today I cried a lot my brother the only thing that made me happy today was my brother called me for like a good hour and uh it was great uh he's the best so that

made my day I don't really know what to say literally this is going to be the buzzfeed quiz episode. My sister went off to Chipotle to get dinner. So I'm doing this while she's gone. And I'm in my bedroom, looking around at all this like random stuff my mom put in here, like all these teddy bears. And this is, it's like dark purple in here. It's kind of cool. But yeah, it's going to be the Buzzfeed episode. I'm not going to really talk about my day because I don't really have much to say other than I was sad and it was a bad day. First time I've really come on here and honestly admitted that. Uh, actually not honest. I don't mean I honestly admitted that. I don't think I've, this is like the worst, the, I haven't felt this shitty and

had a bad day in 105 episodes. All right. I'm annoyed. Um, I like to keep it positive on here. That's why I'm fake happy. Um, I still Graham today. I was laying low in a hoodie in the car today I still I still grammed my new sport taking selfies posting it daily on Instagram or taking cute pics you know so while I was sad I you can kind of see it in my uh just my outfit I guess black hoodie car seat kicked back like I'm in a I'm in a decline in the front seat of the car laying low in a hoodie wearing a hat pigtails check it out um so that's a proud I'm I'm I'm you know, I'm proud of that. I accomplished that today. Um, anyways, so let's just do a BuzzFeed quiz to lighten the mood. I need to, I need to feel some, I need to get my mind off of the chaos

and the bullshit. So here we go. Um, I think I found one about Christmas here. Something about naughty or nice. Nah, I want to do something based on my personality. Yeah. how ugly is your personality? Let's see if this is a good one. How are you guys doing? What's up? Thursday. Are you home with family yet? Are you about to leave for, uh, like a week next? I don't know. Do people go home for a week for Christmas time? I feel like everyone does. I don't know. Or a few days, like four days. Do, do, do. Come on. Wi-Fi. Come on. Wi-Fi. I'll tell you this I'll tell you this I know what saves my life on a bad day it's just it's this headset it's this microphone it's this podcast I swear every podcast when I whenever I end a

podcast I'm happier I feel good it's like this release it's very cathartic therapeutic yes it's self-indulgent it's all about me uh fuck I don't want to be like that but you know I'm getting over that hump with you guys I think this is this this is an act of service this is a safe place you know if I get humorous on here I think of humor as a safe place so I'll try my best to keep it funny and make this worth your time I'm not gonna have a little pity party I'm a big girl I can I can uh I can deal with some family drama and you know all right how ugly is your personality oh fuck I'm gonna I'm gonna fail this I'm gonna be so ugly first question how often do you recycle okay um I've confessed I've exposed my family that here that I'm that I'm with in Washington

that uh growing up never had a recycling bin didn't recycle uh never knew what that extra bin was in the classroom always confused by that blue bin there's like the garbage can right and here I am like drinking a I don't know what like a fuck what's it like a plastic a Capri Sun do you recycle Capri Sun I don't know I wasn't recycling my juice boxes and shit appropriately I got yelled out all the time I didn't understand what that box is for I put paper in it it was like for the extra like scrap paper I'd throw in there but I don't know how to recycle anyway so how often do you recycle first question when I'm in San Diego I do recycle I can't say I don't so oh my god do you guys remember do you guys remember the story about my neighbor let me just refresh it I was

up early taking the garbage out and I had so I had a like a garbage bag and then like a couple boxes that were actually kind of shitty they weren't like nicely I think they had some like like garbage juice on them if you know what I mean they weren't super clean but uh I forgot the password on the recycling bin so I made it I like set out to put the garbage bag and those boxes in the garbage can because I have these passcodes I live in a city we have to keep the homeless out apparently you know they they dig through them all night if you don't put a lock on it Jesus Christ like that is so sad to me um I feel like I've heard them in the middle of the night attempt it like I've heard a little rustling around the dumpster area before

at that point I should wake up at 2 a.m just go out there and help him out hook him up with a few boxes to put a tent together or you know put a floor in their tent together jeez I am I could cry right now I thought I had a bad day today excuse me Jacqueline Jacqueline oh you're a little bit sad because the family drama and stuff going on with these couple people and that made you cry today well at least you have a fucking family and a roof over your head get over yourself anyways but yeah so I went out there early in the morning and my neighbor god bless her uh I've actually never this was the first interaction we had at the dumpster she's her and her mom it looked like her mom was visiting her we're outside

getting on their bikes and they're putting their helmets on by the dumpster and uh I heave over the garbage bag and I got my headphones on I had basically just done a jump rope workout or I went running or something and I after I did I went inside and grabbed my garbage and came and put put it in and then I took it out I'm gonna I need to drink water hold on does sadness make your mouth dry because I just I don't know okay so I heave over the garbage and I have headphones in I couldn't hear a fucking word she was saying when she said something but then I heave over the the like two little boxes from Amazon okay imagine like just normal Amazon small boxes going in the garbage section and she goes oh do you want me to help you recycle that

do you mean help you recycle that I like saw her and then I took my head I heard her you know when you're like listening to music but you can still understand what people are saying in the real like outside world of your headphones I heard her say that oh do you mean help you help you recycle that I was like Jesus Christ first of all I don't want to talk I don't want to I don't want to stereotype her but she looked like someone that would never ever do what I did ever like never she would put that she would put that box in the recycling bin no matter what come hell or high water so I was just like oh sure yeah go ahead and I walked away I let her dumpster dive those two little Amazon boxes and go recycle it for me. I was just like, fuck it. At this point

you offered, you got it. You go for a girl, go for it. Um, anyways, what was I saying though about Jesus? Oh, I'm doing a Buzzfeed quiz. I'm so off track. I haven't even done the first question. How often do you recycle? I have to say whenever I can, I'll answer that. That seems honest. Should I go closer to literally never? Because I do in San Diego. I'm going to say whenever I can. Not all the time. I'm not an all the time bitch. Okay. How often do you talk about people behind their backs? Never. Or constantly. Let me really be honest about this. I have a very my the drama in my life is like zero to none I don't run I don't run with a pack of girls I haven't found that crew yet you know in my 20s because I whisked away to a new city

I never really found my people yet it's just my life I'm actually instead of judging myself over that like I used to being like Jacqueline what the fuck like you're fun you're cool I think I'm these things I'm not I'm just trying to like boost myself I was sad today let me try to talk myself up right now I'm cool I'm fun I like to have a good time like I don't know I'm like friendly I should have friends right I'm 26 like why don't I have like a pack of girls you know but I was when I think about it I so I have a low drama life like if so if I had like I can imagine if I was in like this girl gang and like there was there was more drama and shit yeah of course maybe while we're sitting around at night gossiping you know I might talk a little shit

about someone behind their back it happens uh how often I don't feel like I really do I'm at this age now where I'm all about my reputation and my I think I'm fucking up every episode I'm trying to I'm trying to build a good reputation with this podcast every day like what Jacqueline shut the fuck up you're just running your mouth throwing around your opinions not caring my point is I'm at this I'm at this age where I'm realizing that I don't want people to ever look at me and go oh my god all she does is gossip about other people and talk shit because that makes you look it just makes you look sad I don't want to be one of those people I never want someone to say oh she's a name caller and she you know gossips all these

negative things like I try to take the high road and avoid that but I'm gonna just say like only sometimes I have to be honest. Cause I can't say I've never talked about people behind their back. It's like a bonding thing. People do, especially girlfriends. Like you all love and hate the same people and you all talk about it. And it's just like, like, Oh my God, did you see what Cindy did last week at the fucking mall? That shit's great. All right. Next question. I feel like I'm going to fail this. Okay. Once again, we're doing how ugly is your personality BuzzFeed quiz? Trying to cheer myself up. Okay. When you're out at a restaurant, generally, how much do you tip? Oh my God. Bitch, I'm not paying.

I don't know the last time I've had to tip. I'm being honest. I'm being honest. i guess postmates you know what i mean like how much do i tip for them okay um or look i had a phase after coming back from england where i was like bitch i'm british they don't tip there i'm not tipping and i i don't know why i was so entitled i was like what 21 20 21 20 I think I was 20 20 yeah I like a six-month phase of like calling the elevator the lift calling the garbage can the bin um putting little xx kiss kiss or hug hug things like at the end of my text messages like British people do all my like tweets looked British the verbiage and I wasn't tipping it was absolutely the most cringy phase I think I've

ever had I was obsessed with England I wanted to move well I still have that connection with London like I'd love to go back there and spend a long time there like a good two years it'd be sick to like move there and just like have a an apartment and like live in London it's my dream it's like a dream world every time I go there I feel like I'm living in a movie it's so amazing anyways so at a cringy phase of yeah like trying to be a little Brit and I'd say I wasn't tipping then for a good six months but you know what if I am tipping I'm doing 20% bitch where's the 20% mark here we got I don't tip all the way to 50% but again I don't I mean I don't really I don't ever tip I don't pay um just being honest I'm trying to think the last time I like bought

myself outside of meal like food delivery it's not like i ball up i not ball up i don't like roll up to restaurants these days rest in peace new york city i'm seeing all these videos oh my god it's like what is this world i've seen these people making videos eating a pizza out in the snow there's like a blizzard in new york right now and they're like thanks governor cuomo for shutting down the restaurants I'm having the best meal ever and this is so great I love this restaurant they're just like blasted with snow they're frozen fucking eyelet eyelashes Jesus um but when's the last time I really like had to tip dude I'm being honest I'm very guys I have this thing I'm not judging myself about it he can hate me for that I don't know the last

time I paid at a sit down restaurant situation. Cause I don't just dine alone. Okay. I'm going to just say 20%. If I do, I'm doing 20. Um, have you ever cat called someone? Um, I did the, I did last week. My sister took, well, I consider this cat calling. Hold on. my sister goes to Sally's beauty supply, beauty, beauty supply to pick up some hair extension glue or excuse me, tape. And on the way out of the parking lot to my right is, I think it was a Subaru. What's the, what's the brand? What's the model I, I bitched about with my mom in the U-Haul the other day it's the Forester it's like the crossover size Subaru yeah I'm pretty sure I saw Subaru the back hatch was up these two middle-aged women were hugging each other no masks this was in

front of the Best Buy parking lot next to Sally's Beauty Supply so I see two middle-aged women take big embrace big hug so I catcall them and this is my way of catcalling I don't know I'm, it's not how guys do it. I rolled down the window and I gently screamed, your grandma's gonna die. Your grandma's gonna die. Then my sister put the safety lock, the child safety lock on my window and she yelled at me. But, I mean, it's not like I've checked guys out and, like, flirted with them, like, passing by. But I haven't, like, called out, like, a cat call to a man. I don't know.

I got to say, like, only, like, one time. I'll use that as my answer. Okay. How often do you cut, next question, how often do you cut people off in traffic? All the time. it gives me a rush or never cut people off i'd never do that honestly when would i cut someone off like on purpose no i have the lowest amount of road rage ever i literally don't know what's going on out i pay attention to the road i'm a safe driver but an aggressive driver my dad taught

me that gotta be aggressive take initiative i'm on these california highways now and apparently there's this thing that's like year one as a California a new California driver most people get in a car crash first year and I've been there two and a half no car crash god bless um but I don't I don't hyper focus on other cars if that makes sense I don't I'm not in my rear view like this asshole's tailgating me or like I'm like I'm aware for example if I'm in the fast lane which is usually where I reside on the highway I go I go the it's like this so speed limit 65 everyone goes 75 on average I'd say everyone's going to 75 in San Diego on the freeway if it's an option to go 80 in the fast lane because that's just like how or 80 85 like if that's an option I'm

gonna take it time is money okay I go to that fast lane as as often as I fucking can and if you're not doing that and you're going in the middle you're just I mean it depends because if I'm listening to music not giving a fuck then I'm I might just be like I might be on the truck lane drifting anyways uh I don't I don't pay attention to but no what I was saying is if I'm in the fast lane there's someone in my rear view obviously just like in the fast lane for a purpose to go 100 and like get the fuck to their destination I'll move over but I never I don't cut people off I'm gonna say never we're getting through this is this a fun quiz this might be my favorite one yet I always I always do BuzzFeed quizzes as a little filler for the show on days

like this where I'm like I was sad today and I'm trying to cheer myself up so here we go next question have you ever complained about something not because it was bad but because you wanted to get it for free wait wait have you ever complained about like food like at a restaurant not because it was bad because you wanted to get it for free let me think about this the answers are um duh or no who would do that have I ever complained to get something for free god I wish I had an example I feel like as a kid maybe at like the corner store trying to buy candy I don't fucking know wait hold on um

it's usually I never would just complain to complain and get something free I feel like if it's really bad like at a restaurant if it's really bad we're my family like we go out to a lot of dinners together and I feel like we're really um understanding and we're usually nice about it if we have to make a little complaint you know about something it has to be really bad for us to do that but I don't I think I've ever really done that I'm just gonna make this quick because I don't like this question I'm just gonna to say maybe once or twice. I'm going to say no, who would do that? I don't do it. Have you done that? How often do you ghost people? Oh, I'm sounding like a ghost. How often do you ghost

people I got I don't know I feel like in real life or through texting like okay I am the type of girlfriend or person who how do I say this like I'm the type that's like you're dead to me I'm never talking to you again cut off blocked like I will never talk to you again if you the way you treat me is everything if I am treated poorly you will not be hearing from me ever again so don't fuck with me like that's where I'm at and then I will ghost you in real life all numbers blocked everything blocked it's not worth my time I'm not going to give you any any little inch of me anymore so um I've done that I've done that my day in fact one of the most pivotal moments in my life was when I did that in person. I finally stood up for myself and said no. And

probably best decision I've made in my 20 so far. One of the best or one of the most memorable decisions is I stood up and just, I was like, I'm fucking sick of this shit. I'm not tolerating this anymore. And I'm better. You're like, you do not deserve my energy and my presence ever again you're done and so but texting ghosting I'm more into uh I'll say this I'm gonna I'm at this age I don't want to keep calling attention to I'm an adult and I'm maturing and I'm learning shit but like I don't like to lead people on and waste their time so for example a lot of people ask me like hey do you want to go out do you want to do that like ask me out on a date through DM or text whatever it is like and I'll just be like no thank you

no thanks no thank you they don't need an explanation they don't need a sorry I'm just not really attracted to you and you're not really my vibe and I'm not really feeling this like you don't have to explain yourself just say no thank you you don't owe them anything and that's my new thing I'm just or if I go on a first date with someone and they clearly like me a lot more than I like them and then they're like texting me wanting to go and they want to see me again I'm like honest as fuck I'm just like hey unfortunately I just say I'm not interested that was a great date thank you for taking me out but uh just you're not for me you know I'm quick to do that now because I don't want to waste people's time I don't feel bad about it

I think people over time, they have a respect for that kind of response because it's better to know sooner than later. So I don't just like go on a first date with someone, they're texting me and ghost them. Do you know what I mean? I don't just cut them off and never say anything. So I'm going to say, yeah, the answer I'm going to use here is only sometimes if they're really awful and uh yeah you'll never hear from me again and that's just how i am how often do you compliment other people who i want to rant about this for a specific scenario in a specific scenario uh i've been in many times it's about girls complimenting girls i just want to get into it but here how often do you compliment other people

I'm gonna say all the time I genuinely do I'm out here on this show talking about how much I love all these other podcasters all the time shouting them out I talk about how much you know I know I had a rough patch or rough day with my family and a couple couple people but I genuinely like I feel like I compliment them all the time on the show and like talk them up I just like fucking love people and I think people are awesome and so like I mean we're all just I don't want to be like a we're all just out here trying to experience an awesome life and experience our consciousness and be one with the world and like I don't want to say that but it's kind of cool like think about think about how many people right now are

thinking about you is that crazy hopefully someone's thinking about you I think about you I think about you I think about you every day I really do is that crazy I think it might be but hey you cross my mind a lot um but shit what was I gonna say oh scenario with girls and compliments so I think we've all been there girls listening you're like what's the situation um so it's easy I feel like the easy scenario would be like you're in a bathroom you're in a bathroom at a bar and there's a line of girls and well no because usually girls are not fake at that point everyone's really genuine and nice um maybe okay maybe you're meeting a girl at a party for the first time yeah no parties yeah no no bathrooms like drunk girls in the

bathroom are the nicest chicks ever like those interactions are everyone's hyping each other up being so loving and kind and sweet and nothing is like fake at that point because you're all just like drunk and having fun so but at parties parties are different if you're you roll into a party and there's like a girl you're meeting for the first time a lot of times she'll be like the first interaction the first exchange you have is her complimenting you going oh the best one is oh my god you're so gorgeous or like oh my god I love your dress where did you get it like let's just let's just do a item of clothing that's the best one that's the best example like oh my gosh your shoes are so cute and I feel like girls do that about they say that

they compliment you about something they don't like to fuck with you and it's like it's so messed up but I cannot stand that if you for if your first interaction with me if I meet you is a compliment it's so it's so weird i'm like hi what's up i'm jacqueline nice to meet you like yeah you from here what's going on like i'm just like a normal like i just want to have fucking normal conversation but when it's like hi oh my god your shoes they're just so cute but it's like kind of condescending or kind of like you just know it's not genuine anyways I'm a threat sometimes I know it if I look good people just like don't know what to do they just gotta compliment me in a fake way am I fooling myself was that my ego talking yeah it was

you gotta feel yourself though because here's the thing if you are blind don't be blind to that shit like I am not I don't fall for it I don't fall for that shit anymore where I think when I was younger, like a people pleaser, right? I'm like, oh my gosh, she likes me. She thinks my shoes are cute. Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. I want to be your friend. But it's like all fake. So now I don't fall for it. I'm like, I just let her roll over me. I'm like, I know what you're doing. Nice to meet you. Can we just not be like this? Anyways. But yeah, you have to be confident. You have to feel yourself uh know your worth know you're you're not a bag of like you're not don't don't let people walk on you and like be fake okay next question we're getting through this

this is like life lessons and doing a buzzfeed quiz at the same time how many times oh my god how many times have you gone through someone's phone without asking oh fuck oh I'm exposing myself um this is like inciting no what's the word this is stoking my fight or flight response currently I used to get okay I was I don't want to expose myself I was dating this guy and I was just like allowed to go on all over his phone didn't he didn't give a fuck and I saw some shit that I like didn't want to see and then it became like this I can't not look like I got in too deep and then I found out shit and I was like oh okay but I can't say I've never done it how am I gonna answer this not even once or only once or twice I

gotta say between oh tons on the far end here as my answer I'm gonna go halfway between that and once or twice um am I in the I'm in the team I'm in the camp what do I say of I don't think I think people's phones are their worlds and if I feel like I need to go through your phone that's like a red flag like I shouldn't even have that I don't know I'm not insecure I'm not what's the word I'm not um psychotic about it like who are you texting and like can I see your dms and like who are you fall like I guess I could see you people are following on Instagram I don't really care about any of that I'm just like I like I wouldn't want someone to go through my phone I have a lot of like personal shit in there you know a lot of things I write a lot of

like pics I would never want people to see I don't know like personal shit and I don't know I would love to get to the point with someone though where you're just like you're married I get or you're just like so in love with each other you don't give a fuck you know you're they're not being shady and you're past that and you can just like be on their phone look at all their pictures and shit I let people like I will all go through my camera roll with a guy I did that on like a first date earlier this year I'm like showing funny videos and pictures like I don't care um anyways okay but how many times I'm gonna do a little like 75 percent answer here okay how often do you litter never what the fuck

have I I have littered before I have um like intentional littering for me is driving down an old country road here where I live rolling down the window and throwing out throwing out an apple core through the window that's a thing that's a thing I grew up doing apple cores orange peels it's compost just throw it into the field it's going to help the soil it's going to help the crops just donate your apple core to the farmer so that to me is not littering but I've done that a lot uh intentionally throwing my gum out the or no not out the window where would I throw my gum I think I've ditched my gum before like on some grass or like out at a bush you know what I mean um gum I feel like I've littered gum before um

but not just like I'm eating Taco Bell in my car and I just like take the wrapper and throw it out the window I would never fucking do that like just that visual of like someone crumpling it up oh fuck this throw it out my dad will say this he used to okay in his truck it was like kind of a joke at one point like we would like go to the gas station and he had he had this truck there'd be like the three of us did we even fit four across legally I don't think we did no we never okay there was always I guess he had a it didn't have the back seat in the cab it was just like a front seat and it was like a for 250 yeah so one of us if we saw a cop would always duck down I remember doing that we'd sit

like two people with one seat belt and anyways but we'd be like at a gas station and maybe you know I'd get a Mountain Dew and a cookies and cream um that's like the most psychopathic gas station, uh, snack choice, cookies and cream Hershey's white chocolate. Like that's not even chocolate in a Mountain Dew. That would be my order. And he'd always get us that or like a Klondike bar. But anyways, we would throw the garbage in like the bottom of the, on the floor on the side. And that would kind of accumulate. And then he would take the garbage can from like our main like the big in our garage pull that out and just like put the garbage in it from the truck I don't know why do I why am I telling this story oh we're talking about littering

um yeah no I'm just saying never I really well only occasionally if I don't see a trash can no I'm gonna say almost never like 99% almost never how often do you complain I don't ever complain or constantly I love complaining are my choices to answer here um okay great example podcast all the time I'm here to rant I'm here to talk about my my thoughts and opinions and complaints about society culture shit I don't like you know it's my safe place this is my safe place I do it and um I like people's strong opinions I think they're I just I like have this I don't know if it's like respect or admiration I'm like those people know what they want and they're clear about it you know where they stand and it's not like they're set in their

ways so much it's like because it seems like people that would be really opinionated and like it's more about funny stuff like I don't fuck with ketchup or like I hate uh fuzzy socks like they have a strong opinion about something like so niche and like those are the those are the coolest people like I love by the way I like ketchup I'm a ketchup person so I just was using that as an example but I would say I'm here to solidify my ideas opinions like funny opinions I guess like parking lots can't fucking stand them reinvent them solid opinion on like ninth circle of hell is not only driving behind a school bus or in my case where I live out here a tractor that's the ninth ninth circle of hell to

me uh yeah school bus picking kids up dropping them off you're behind them you can't pass them that kind of shit also parking lots grocery store parking lots specifically are probably the worst we need to reinvent them but uh speaking of complaining I'm I'm proud of myself in a real life scenario not an internet ranting world I was proud of myself I even brought it up because I'm like, dude, I helped my aunt move her house. I helped my sister move her house. Those were the U-Haul episodes. You can go back and listen to them.

And I'm like, I'm a changed woman. I was psychotically so into moving the furniture. Like, I didn't, I never complained. I had fun about it. I was like, I can't get out of this. we're not leaving this house until everything is packed up in this u-haul I don't have a plan b there is no other option so I think old me like kind of moody like hormonal teen Jacqueline would have been like fuck this I don't want to do it like I'd get over it and do it but I'd pout

sometimes through it where I made a point I was like telling my mom and sister I'm like holy shit I didn't complain once this weekend it was like a four-day event I didn't even put up a fight about anything. So I didn't, you know, I think, I guess complaining and depends, like, it's not productive. It's not useful. It's kind of like, especially when you can't do anything about it. You know what I mean? If there's no solution outside of, you know, you guys know what I mean um I can't even complain about being sad today like I brought up homeless people I'm like well there's always gotta have perspective someone has a worse um complain in your mind you don't need to vocalize it you don't always have to let people know that you're like

I think if I wasn't stoked about moving in my head I was like fuck this I'm this is so crazy I'm how come there's five of us women five of us women having to load all this furniture into a u-haul like if I thought in that way like why isn't there like a crew of movers here why aren't there like five strong men why do I have to if I thought any of those thoughts like let's just hypothetically say I did I'm at this point now where I would never vocalize that I would never like spout off and just like what the fuck this is so stupid like i don't i don't want other people around me to know that i'm like i don't know i'm a complainer i'm the weak link you don't want to be weak you don't want to be a weak weak link what's that show wait who wants to be no not who

wants to you are the weakest link what one is that that game show millionaire who wants to be a millionaire was it that you are the weakest link okay okay next question how often do you lie as of late fucking never i mean honestly i never lie now okay just like I said I was psychotically obsessed not obsessed but just so optimistic and positive about moving I was just like whatever we're doing it let's have fun with it I'm moving this couch I can I'm like being a gladiator woman I don't care like I'm kind of that way about honesty now radical honesty that whole phrase you see on like wellness memes mental health memes like I there's a there's a time and place to lie especially when like I was saying

earlier you need to keep shit to yourself but I don't just like live with lies like I'm trying to think of a lie I haven't like something I'm holding back from you guys this show has forced me to be honest I have to be honest I would feel weird if I got on this and tried to curate some sort of like false sense of who I was for like to you guys I would never I the whole point of this is I got brainwashed I got influenced by influencers for so long not saying it's wrong I mean it works for some people didn't work for me but I whenever I dabbled with influencer stuff like especially YouTube vlogs I always felt like I was like putting on an act it wasn't being me like I was doing what other people I was like

reading the influencer script hi guys welcome back to my channel we're gonna do a haul today I'm so obsessed with this top like like the whole point I'm on here to just talk to you guys like I'm on a fucking phone call I'm on I'm checking in Thursday night checking in how's everyone doing I'm not trying to be anyone right now I'm just saying hi I'm talking about my life uh it's forced me to be honest I don't want to be any other way I don't want to be something I'm not like I don't want to try the second I feel like I'm trying like trying to put on a like a cool persona like I'm just this like podcast baddie and I'm i'm fucking i i don't i just it's done it's done for me um but what are some lies

have i told any on this show or like no not told any but like what have i not told you what am i lying about um i mean i'm not lying about my happiness today i told you guys right out the gates i'm fuck i mean today was episode 105 i had this is the worst podcast day ever in my eyes i mean I'm persevering right now but I've been through it today um emotionally like I said cried uh I felt like shit yeah so anyways I'm not gonna say I lie I don't really lie anymore especially with family I'm like oh back to that how often do you lie I'm gonna say never because that's my new brand I guess um I don't want to be a fake bitch I don't know how to say Look, I'm at this point with my family where I'm, like, the wild card who's, like, I have a problem.

I am taking accountability, and I want to work on it. I know this is not helping our relationship. I see this time after time after time. You guys are right. I got to work on this. I'm sorry. I, like, I owe this to myself for my personal growth, and I owe it to you guys in our relationship. so I'm not like I don't know if that's annoying but I'm just at that phase in my 20s where I'm

like I want to get I want to be a better person work on my shit like I don't want to stay the same I always want to grow and like expand so I'm not gonna like lie about or be stubborn if I'm confronted about a way I'm acting or you know I won't be gaslit now that's a different conversation I won't let that happen to me that's happened to me many times in my life told that I'm you know how I'm feeling which which is not true to my truth um I don't like being gaslit I know how to stand up for myself now when I when that happens but um but I'm really open about where I'm at with everything I just okay I'm just gonna move on I never lie how much do you like animals oh my god how could you not answer 100% I love them

okay this is the last question on the quiz is that it how much do you love like animals someone could answer you animals are gross I feel like you get you should get disqualified from the quiz if you answer that animals are gross. I love them. Okay. I'm finishing. I'm done. Oh my God. 12% ugly. Okay. So this is about how ugly is your personality? I'm 12% ugly. I'm not, I'm not mad at that. Wait, what does it say? Sure. You have a few ugly moments here and there, but Hey, you're human. Nobody's perfect all the time and everyone makes mistakes. It's clear that you're a genuinely kind person and always try your best to do the right thing, even if you might slip up from time to time. I'm human. I'm 12%

ugly. That's not too bad. I thought I'd get worse than that because I answer a lot of like, I don't know. I was a good one. Wait, what's the next quiz it suggested? Am I ugly quiz? see if you're see if you match your inner beauty should I do that one next fuck it I'm having fun I'm hanging out with myself trying to make my sad day a happy day drinking out of a blender bottle with no cap uh what does the side say I don't know it's like some sports nutrition brand we have like 42 uh blender bottles in this household I don't know why but it's real frustrating when I open the excuse me when I open the cabinet to get a glass because they're in the same they're all in like

the same cabinet like a water glass there's like an overflowing amount of blender bottles I just think we need to sacrifice a few but anyways so let's do the let's do this next quiz I want to keep going I'm having fun wait how do i click it retake no am i ugly quiz no i want to do that oh let's read what someone said here oh okay oh come on guys it's not that hard to recycle and people are bickering where i live it is also recycling is a complicated thing right now lots of it lots of ins and outs and what have yous so unanswered not everyone can especially us who live live with our parents. Recycling is pretty much banned in our house. No matter what I say,

I can't yell that. That would be like, I think I suggested it. Okay. You know how things are just normal at your family's house? Like going back to see your parents. It's just like at our house, we have a garbage can. There is not a recycling bin in sight. I don't think any family member like extended like my grandparents i don't think they recycle i'm trying to think for anyone i don't think anyone at my like i haven't been to no no my aunt does i was recently i was in her garage recently and i saw yeah there were recycling bins so dude i hang i hang dry my clothes i tell you guys that all the time that's my contribution to climate change i don't use a dryer. I don't drive a car a lot. I live in a city. I walk a lot. I don't know. Okay. I really

want to do another quiz. Let's just find one. Last minute gift ideas. Maybe I should do this. Read gift ideas. Dude, I'm perking up. Come on, BuzzFeed. Boost my serotonin, girl. All right, buzzfeed.com come on wi-fi come on wi-fi all right 40 44 why is this such a specific number 44 of the best last minute gifts under 10 anyone would love to receive at that point just under 10 bucks i mean just call just do a card i don't know cards are cards are expensive cards cards shit okay um no i don't want to do this wait ten dollars a wine aerator okay what the fuck the taco cat goat cheese pizza card game the taco cat goat cheese pizza cart

nope next one here a pack of 16 hydrating sheet masks oh no I'm an anti-masker um anti-face masker I feel like it's a waste of time and money like masks don't I feel like a lot of the times face masks do more harm than good or they're just not that effective like they make your skin look good for a little bit and then I don't know I don't feel like it's that like life-changing certain masks I'll say like help I don't know texture maybe or like acne but I don't want to read this this is just getting boring now we just did a quiz I could call it now um what do you guys want for Christmas is it a sweet Christmas this year are you depressed

are you alone um I sent out a little heartwarming repost today let me find it where's my phone I haven't been on my phone today very much I'm proud of myself um an account called blonde underscore shout out just followed me oh god it's like pornographic shit I am so annoyed by that I'm like it's like click the link in my bio if you want to like I don't know just it's disgusting okay um what was I going on Instagram for no I don't need to jocelyn don't sit back sit up straight i was gonna go on instagram shit i'm here for a reason i was looking at gift ideas guys do you remember what i was thinking oh i was gonna read what i reposted so it's like

Sending love to the people battling mental illness during the holidays. Hi! Sending love to the people feeling lonely during the holidays. Sending love to the people who are caregivers to someone who's ill during the holidays. Sending love to the people who struggle to afford a holiday celebration. Sending love to the people who are grieving a loss during the holidays. and sending love to the people who are spending the holidays

people who are not supportive yeah so it's rough I don't know this year is rough as it is and then you slap on Christmas and holidays and family shit and some people are like

not going home social distancing and fucking I don't know I was telling my brother today we had a heart to heart it was great you know, every time I call him, it's been a year. I haven't seen him in over a year. I saw

him last Thanksgiving and it's like awful. Um, literally like every time I call him his maturity, his like, he is so like intuitive and smart. And he said something today, like he was trying to help me just like you know with the shit going on he's just like I was like you know Robert I can take care of myself I don't we don't need to go into this I don't want to really talk to you about it I want to kind of deal with I can handle my shit I don't want to rant to you I don't want to like tell tell you all this uh shit and like spew what's it called vomit so he's like no no no Jacqueline Jacqueline Jacqueline I really want to get to the root of this I really want to unpack this I want to know how this even got started like I really want to work this out with you

and I'm like my brother my xbox addicted like moody not he was actually was he moody in high school like he was like in my eyes my brother is still my little brother who's just like xbox friends football like being a jackass doing funny shit like doing like he always pokes our buttons and makes us mad and you know like that's my brother and so him just saying that I was like oh my god this is like a therapist session and he got a psychology degree yeah that's his degree right psychology but he's a really he's a really good um listener and wants genuinely wants to help me and like work with me on stuff so uh shout out Rob that was great um what was I saying God damn it. I read that little thing. I should end it.

Oh, I was just talking about 2020 and shit. Yeah, that's all I really have to say. I hope I did a quiz. I feel better. I'm probably going to just lay low tonight, sleep it off, wake up. I'm so excited for coffee tomorrow morning. I, guys, I just miss my espresso machine. I really do. When I think about it, my, the thing I'm excited about, oh, I know I was going to say something. I told my brother. Anyways, I'm excited to go back to San Diego to see my, to like use my espresso machine and make coffee in the morning. Okay. But I'm a simple woman. I mean, let's be honest. I don't need a lot of shit I just need a little coffee machine okay but I was telling my brother I'm like look

I have been through it this year I feel like I'm in a really good place I'm on this like launching pad ready to go into 2021 uh but I told him I'm like Robert the thing that's lacking in my life especially this year has been people socializing interaction like hanging out with people and having that routine of life where I'm not just sitting alone working from home not really seeing a lot of people are doing much and I am gonna nip that in the ass so hard in 2021 I'm like who wants to hang out let's be best friends like yes I will go out with you yes I will sit like I will never say no I'm just maxed out of my isolation I'm like I did it. I worked on myself. I know myself now better than ever. Uh, I can be happy alone. I

figured that out. Uh, let's have a fucking party. I want to go to Coachella. I want to go to Coachella. Is Coachella happening? Is stagecoach happening? Is parody so happening? Is tomorrow lands happen is uh kabu kabu is that a thing are these happening what's happening are we gonna get shut down for oh my god guys this vaccine i saw something today here's a tangent i watched something about the vaccine today that kind of gave me peace of mind because the verbiage around this new mRNA vaccine is that it was rushed it was rushed out and here you know in the past you've got vaccines that took a decade and billions of dollars to approve and pass and work out and here a year goes by with COVID and we've got a vaccine for it like

how is that possible without it being rushed and by rushed people say that as if they've cut corners and it's unsafe and it's a risk to get it and because it's like they it's too soon how could they develop a vaccine that that quickly and i guess what made sense to me i was watching this I was watching this doctor go into it he was saying that basically the mRNA research like the vaccine research or in the last I don't know how long let's call it five ten years has come to a place where when it's time to bear fruit when it's time to develop a vaccine for a global pandemic like this there's there's been years building up to it that have allowed it that have allowed for a fast for fast development of a vaccine if that makes sense so um and i'm like guys wait a minute

it's 2020 i i'd expect a vaccine to come out this quick you know i'd i'd hope we've we've evolved and gotten better at this shit because people are comparing this vaccine to something they did in 19 what like 60 with a different vaccine for like months or some shit i don't know and i think what's wild to me is how i go in waves i i like get into the rabbit holes of people analyzing the world and the pandemic and what this really is underneath it all and it's not really you know it's just like global it's like there's an agenda and it's um whatever and they're they're like tying random shit like 5g in it and then you see people trying to it's basically starting to

look stupid to me that people are trying to explain how the world is going to change forever because of this virus in terms of like jesus christ himself is gonna return this is the mark of the beast the fucking like immunization agenda is gonna everyone will have a chip in them and like all this shit everyone's trying to like make stories around this pandemic as if there's and who knows like we won't know honestly until i'm gonna say like five years down the road when things unfold but right now I'm like look I kind of I'm not super I'm not stoked about getting the vaccine I probably won't I'll let other people get it but I don't I don't know why I just feel weird about getting vaccinated who knows if that's gonna change but they're saying that

it's gonna maybe the the tone will change where there's it's gonna be a scarce the vaccine is the debate the demand will be so high and there won't be any supply of it like it'll be hard to get it will be such a great vaccine and people will be like i do not want coronavirus people can't smell anymore people are having all these you know diseases pop up after they have corona and i want that fucking vaccine because i don't want to have to deal with that but so it might turn into that but I'm I'm hoping herd immunity works and uh we get through this because dude I just want to shake my ass in the club I keep saying that and I mean it like I feel that in my soul right now I'm like Jacqueline these are your years you're in your fucking prime

you're 26 I want to I just want to not live in this annoying pandemic world but hey I'm so privileged to even say that and I know that and I'm blessed I'm grateful I just feel like I've missed out on life this year a little bit and in in terms of socializing and having a you know just a spontaneous woo-woo yay party fun friends and I think the lesson or like the deep thought is like no you experienced life in a cool way because you're always going to remember 2020 you're in your little apartment San Diego learning about yourself learning about the world uh working on your shit it's cool all right all right I gotta stop I'm gonna I gotta end this oh no eyelash in my eye eyelash in my eye don't rub your eyes don't rub your eyes

8 p.m i didn't tell you guys the time do this eight o'clock at night it's all good uh all right once again if you like this episode go ahead and subscribe to the apple this podcast on the apple podcast app and leave me a review that would help me out and then head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get access to more content from me and everyone will be getting a shout out tomorrow for friday's episode i do it every friday for my patreon members so go check it out follow me on instagram at jacqueline monroe and subscribe to my youtube channel and i can't wait to get back on camera in january all right guys hope we're having a good week. Happy Thursday. And I will talk to you tomorrow. All right. Bye.