The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 109- Full House

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

Happy Monday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up, guys? Happy Monday. It's episode 109. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the show. Coming to you live with a house full of family right now in the other room. I've locked them out of my mom's kitchen here. Yes, I'm still in Washington. I say that every day now. I feel like I've been here forever, but I got a full house. I'm sitting in my mom's kitchen for episode 109. I'm drinking a Corona, chilling out with family tonight, and I'm going to get into my day because you know what? It kind of was a lot. Kind of was a lot. I thought, you know what I clean basically guys I was in charge my mom and sister had to do errands and I was tasked with cleaning the house today like the entire house and I feel like I did that I did

like a thousand other things I don't know let's just get into it uh if you're new by the way I'm here seven days a week go ahead and hit that subscribe button on the apple podcast app and go over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get access to my exclusive content over there on Patreon. So go check it out. A nice little perk I do or a friendly little thing is the Friday shout outs for my patrons. So once again, that's patreon.com slash TJMS. All right, let's get into my day. Boom. I wake up 4 41 AM. Okay. I hear some noise coming from my mom's room. It sounded like a suitcase was being unpacked. Not quite sure, but all I knew is it was early and I wasn't ready to be awake, but I, I just kind of said, fuck it. It's Monday. I'm going to wake

up early. I'll, I'll be part of the early morning gang. Cause as you know, I'm home with my mom and, uh, she gets up at like four every fucking day and she works out and gets up and cleans and does all this stuff before work. So anyways, I was like, you know what? I'm going to do it. I'm going to wake up early. Basically I rolled around in bed for about another hour. Finally got up. First thing I come out to the kitchen to see is, or I get approached, my sister goes, by the way, you have to take an extension. This is the first thing I heard that morning. This is the first contact I had. I'm like walking in, ready to make coffee, got really excited. I'm like, I can't wait for coffee. It's like 5.30 and I hear. So if you want to use the elliptical,

all you have to do is put the extension cord next to this you have to open the back turn the elliptical click it on I don't know like take an extension cord wrap it around spin it through click it like I'm like why are you telling me this it's like confused my sister's telling me that and I'm like wait a minute she listened to the fucking podcast from yesterday I said I'm gonna wake up on Monday morning go hard on that elliptical in the garage she woke up this is the fun, this is the fun fact, or the accompanying fact to my mom waking up at 4 a.m. My sister also woke up at 4 a.m. Excuse me, I don't mean 4 a.m. They woke up at 2.30. I happen to hear them up at 4. Is this annoying? Are these details annoying? Why am I getting

so specific here about time? I'm only at 4 a.m. It's currently 8.46 p.m. I need to get you guys through my day. This is an audio vlog. Okay. You watch YouTubers wake up, film their fucking face in front on their pillow. Good morning guys. Another day, another YouTube vlog today. I'm going to go make coffee and they take you through your day. Yeah. I'm doing that with, with my, my voice for you right now. Okay. Yeah. So two 30, I heard out of their, out of their mouths, both of them woke up that early um I don't understand but basically they had to listen to the show heard I wanted to go hard this morning the elliptical I need to break a good sweat it's been a while um so I laughed at that I was like are you fuck are you kidding me it was funny and

then anyways guys had a great morning with them I basically the best thing we do at this house is wake up early you know I'll participate around 6 a.m at the earliest not 5 5 30 like I did today But we wake up, we sit around our kitchen table, we drink coffee, and we talk. And it's just like we watch the sunrise. Because if we're not walking around the block waiting for the sun to rise, which is usually our routine, we go on early morning walks, we're just sitting around drinking coffee and talking. But let me tell you guys, I made my whipped coffee, my instant coffee for the first time in forever. It was so good. I made two of those today.

I'm so addicted. If you're not familiar with whipped coffee, I think it's called a Cubano coffee, technically. But everyone in the beginning of the pandemic was making whipped coffee. Like, it was a trend. People were watching the Tiger King, making whipped coffee, baking banana bread, you know, all those dumb shit things everyone was doing. So I put that together today in a little blender bottle like I do. I take instant coffee, about two tablespoons. you got to get good instant coffee get the european shit go on amazon type in is it cronon

it's like just type in german instant coffee it's the green cap it'll show up take about two tablespoons of that uh a couple packs of stevia okay i don't want cancer it's plain sugar what's it's like the lesser of two evil evils with sugar you got the natural or you got the zero calorie natural stevia leaf shit, or you got the raw cane. I like, I like that leaf. Apparently it doesn't spike my insulin. And I don't want that shit at five 30. In fact, I don't know what it is, but black coffee isn't really doing it for me right now. I usually, I usually drink a lot of it when I'm home here in Washington, but I just want something iced and good. So anyways, I put two, how did I just say that? CNAs,

see anyways, so anyways, I put, okay, chocolate, cut to the chase, basically, I shake that shit up in a blender bottle with hot water, pour it over ice, and add a little almond milk, boom, you got like a little Cubano situation, it's great, the blender bottle is because it foams, it gets all fluffed up, that's the whipped coffee thing, yeah, all right, so I had that, we talked for like two hours, I mean, we talked until the sun rose, yeah, about probably till seven, about, we were laughing. We were talking about stories from the past and shit we've been through and just like funny stuff, situations around, um, this house and childhood. And, um, it was just great. It was like a really, and I, at the end of it, I'm like, I feel like we need to pour ourselves a

glass of wine. It was still kind of dark out and it felt like the nighttime. I was so free. Like my circadian rhythm was so fucked up. I was like, they woke up at two 30. Okay. In fact, that's the time of night you would have those kind of conversations like they were waking up at that point but anyways at the end of the conversation I thought wow that was like a that was a deep fun bonding conversation we just had the three of us women I was like we need a glass of wine at fucking 7 a.m it was great it started out it started out my day great right amazing um oh my gosh guys by the way oh my god holy shit I'm doing better wow so like I said I got a house full of family right now, my brother and his girlfriend are visiting, and their dog, and

it's my brother Rob and his girlfriend Justine, I asked their permission, I said, can I use your names, and they're like, absolutely, so they're here visiting with their dog Odie, and it's amazing, like, it snapped everything into place, like, we're all just hanging out, having a good time but um I've kind of today I marched I marched for marched forward from my uh my weekend of uh just you know kind of dumpiness and and shit and arguments and you know YouTube therapy I did on Sunday and you know I I had a a tiff happen actually more than that it was it was a big debate, not even a debate, excuse me, a big argument over the weekend, and I feel like it's gone. It's in the past. I know what I'm working on. I know what I want. Well, I'm not forcing

anyone to work on themselves or do anything, but I think it's all, I think we're all on the same page, so that's positive, but today's a better day, so if you're wondering, Jacqueline, are you in your good spirits? I know you're drinking a Corona right now, and you're with family. Are you in good spirits? Absolutely. All right, let's get into it. So basically, um, we talked, let me just get, I, I, guys, I wrote my, my list here today. I miswritten my notebook. I'm on my note on my phone right now. Um, anyways, so yeah, I just thought that elliptical thing was funny. Like I was like, I was so tired and confused. I'm like, why are you telling me about an extension cord as I'm walking in to get coffee um oh it was funny so after the talk my sister wanted to light

a candle and she's like I always burn my finger my mom's like yeah I always burn my finger when I use a lighter it's always like coming up on my thumb and I always burn my thumb and then my nail polish incinerates and shit and it hurts and I burn myself and I'm like all right sit back watch what I'm doing. And I asked him, what does heat do? I got someone walking in the kitchen. Hey, Rob. I'll take this. I'll do a little break here to have a sip of my beverage while he's getting his beverage. He's like, we're alcoholics. Not true. We're like really, we're just having a good time. He's got some Maker's Mark. We have a little bar over there kind of set up. A lot of different options tonight. I'm on Corona number two. He's on Maker's Mark number four and Odie's

coming in the kitchen. Hey, Odie. All right. Peace. I don't edit this. This is my brother walking in the kitchen. Bye, Rob. Is Odie going to stay in here? Hi. Say hi. I got the dog next to me cool go go he's gonna be my pal this week shut the can you shut the door hi all right where was I at so anyways I said guys I was telling the story about the lighter I was like what does heat do and they're like it rises I'm like right okay so what you do is when you light a lighter you light a lighter you look at that fucking flame and you don't move your hand position you don't move that hand position the second you rotate your wrist to tip the lighter on the candle wick you're fucked that's why your thumb is burning you don't move your wrist you move the candle

you can slightly tilt it don't get me wrong you can kind of slightly tilt the flame but as long as you're keeping the shit the flame vertical you're not going to get burned and they joked they were like oh you'll definitely know how to do this you fucking smoker and I'm like not true can't say I've never lit a cigarette in my life can't say I've never lit a scar can't say I've never lit a joint so they're right but um I've lit candles but I was like wait a minute no excuse me I'm just a professional candle lighter I know how to I know my way around a lighter anyways so I did that and then they got out they got out of there no excuse me back to my notepad here I did yoga like okay so I didn't go on the elliptical I wasn't feeling it

after that two hour, two hour conversation, I had so much coffee. I put on the new Ariana Grande album. Grande, love her. Put on her album, did yoga for probably felt like an hour. Did a bunch of core shit today. It felt really cool. I did so much core stuff. Like I know I saw a difference. I saw a difference in my body. Like when you do a core, like when you say I'm going to work my abs right now and you go look in the mirror after it's like wow holy shit this kind of did it I see a difference and uh yeah that was fun so I'm in pain my cores it's still like I feel it because I'm what guys what I'm trying to do on my secret mission is uh just a total body fucking takeover man I want to be able to do a handstand press I want to be able and you have to have

insane core strength for all the yoga stuff I want to do so I'm just every day just like the podcast, working on that mat, getting to work. It feels so good. I felt energy. I was sweaty. I was going hard, listening to music. I was deep breathing. I was kind of meditating at the end, which is fun. So I did that while they're getting ready to leave. They had errands to run. My mom went to go get a fucking facelift today. I'm going to tell that story. I'll be telling that story in about 10 minutes. Hold on. That was the, uh, the reason I was left at the household to clean. Cause I had my brother and his girlfriend coming in and we had this house. It was kind of like not pristine. And they're like, you know what? You see this house, clean it. We're going

to be up getting mom. I'm on my way to go to a facelift. I got to run some errands, buy some shit Christmas presents probably household stuff at TJ Maxx I don't know and I was left here all day to clean so basically I did yoga they sent them off oh fuck no I day traded like a jackass it was so fun for one hour I was just sitting there trying to have fun because I told my mom about stocks and I've I've been learning about them this learning about stocks this year learning about the market and I've been learning about how it works and I've been um getting involved and I was like you know what I'm gonna just have fun with this shit for one hour I'm like I'm gonna see how much money I can make in one hour and I said I had a number I said I know what

I'm gonna and this is not something I recommend don't take my advice I never this is not something I'm just reckless about I had researched I knew this stock I had planned to buy more shares of it in fact I didn't plan to do I just sometimes I hesitate I'm like I get really excited about a stock. And then I'm like, I still feel like I'm too green at this. I'm too, I'm too new to like go all in and buy a bunch of shares. So anyways, I bought a stock and for one hour, I was like, I know what number I'm going to hit in an hour. I just see this. I know it. And I got that. And I showed them, I was like, look, I did it. And they were, you know, getting their outfits ready to go get, my mom was getting her facelift out, facelift outfit on. She had a polka dot button

down specifically because she said I don't want to have to pull a shirt like if I have a turtleneck and my face is swollen and crazy like it won't fit over my like I have to have something that can unbutton she like really thought it through thought it through but we fixed her we fixed her shoes on the way out um I told her to not wear um loafers she I think she wore heels like wedges they were cute yeah anyway so I day traded a little bit this morning for fun it was great it felt good I you know what I gotta say this I'm not an expert I don't know shit all I know is that if you want to get ahead in this world especially in these times stocks and real estate man I'm seeing a lot of people find success in those two areas go for it start your own business

do all that shit too I mean do whatever works for you but if you understand stocks and real estate And if you get in, if you get in it, um, I think your life will be fruitful and you can, it's, it goes with everything. It's what you put in is what you get out. You can't just, uh, you know, see other people have massive success and then think that'll just happen to you. But I do think the potential, the, um, opportunity in it is insane, especially right now. so well I'd say always I think yeah but that's just my two cents I decided you know what figure

it out Jacqueline figure it the fuck out it's 2020 uh shit's happening in the world you got a lot of you got a lot to work on and you're on yourself with your future plans with your um you know career your financial side of things so I'm just learning I'm trying to learn and grow and I can't say I've lost money yet so that's positive I'm trying like my thing with the stock market is I'm you never risk it all like is that a I feel like this is obvious information I don't know if any of you out there trade but it's not like I think my mom worries a little bit uh understandably that I'm just like throwing all of my money into the stock market which is not the case that's not I do not advise that and I do not do that but I'm having fun and I'm finding

that I'm actually I don't know decent so far at it it's only been a few months and I'm like shit this is fucking fun all right so I cleaned I cleaned forever they left I cleaned so holy so I had 2,000 square feet of real estate here or how big is this house this house was built 1950 it's a rambler if you know anything about a rambler it's wild I was talking to my grandma the other day and she was telling me how like the large three-story wraparound porch houses I think this was in the 50s end of 40s early 50s were less favorable than a one-story rambler because the Ramblers had all the upgrades, all the new appliances, the washer and dryer that were electronic, digital, fucking not manual. Wait, what's that called? Electric? Yeah. And there's

dishwashers and stoves, like all this new stuff in the Rambler homes. They're all fully upgraded. So anyways, why am I saying this? This house is, I think, I don't know the square feet, but it's not huge but it's like an older home regardless I don't even know why I'm saying the square footage why am I bringing this up I'm used to the reason excuse me the reason it's because I'm not used to this much square footage at my apartment to clean top to bottom I was like I'm prepared I used to do this back in the day but I had two other siblings to help clean and I was like oh my god this is gonna be a whole day I went through every room I did I kind of jumble jangled why do I keep using stupid words the other day I think I said jabimble jaggled jabimble jaggled

jabimble jabimble glaggin jabimble fuck discombobulated I kind of did it topsy-turvally um I'm gonna take another drink of my corona clearly I need one you know if you don't put a lime in it I just feel like that lime you'd need that lime okay now I just put together I'm drinking a corona I didn't even think about the virus why why does that I don't even care but like I just thought about that fuck okay well ah there's new people in my home they might have been exposed to corona night coronavirus 19 um basically I was doing like floors okay first thing I did is I took out all of the socks all of the things that are low on the like the dog level eyesight

level of things around the house because Odie the dog we're gonna be babysitting for a couple weeks here he eats socks whole he doesn't chew them he eats them whole so I had to make sure all the little objects were off the lower shelves I cleared everything out that was my first mission I'm like I gotta keep this dog alive okay this dog will not be going down with a sock in its throat because Jacqueline didn't pick up the socks around the house when she was tasked to clean while her mom and her sister were up at the hospital or wherever the hell they were I don't even honestly I don't even know where they went I'm like bye mom I know you're getting a facelift guys I'll get into that facelift story okay I'm teasing it skip ahead if you want to know what

happened so my mom she has a she wants me to tell you guys something about this facelift she's here by the way so if you're wondering if she's doing okay she's here so we've talked I've seen her she's briefed me on it in fact I'm looking at the packet in front of me that she was given about our facelift. I could read all about it. I could give you guys specific details on what they, um, on what the list of things is. So whatever. I removed the clutter, the socks, anything that would kill the dog first. Okay. I was even looking for chocolate chips, random little crevices, you know, in the kitchen, how under the counter shit can slide under there. The other day I make chocolate chip cookies and I'm like,

if there's a fucking chocolate chip and this dog eats one I'm I'm gonna like because you know what he does is he I'm noticing his behavior so far he's like a five-year-old to me he looks like a mix between a lab and a pit but I'm not quite sure I don't know what his breed is he's so cute he's like a short lab um tiny little guy anyways I've noticed his behavior super friendly he never barked at me never only thing he did to me I've met him before it's been a couple years and of course I'm blonde now he doesn't he doesn't know what the fuck I am I don't even know who the fuck am I dude it's weird a year ago if I saw myself now I'd be like holy shit that's you bitch that's who you like all these past years I was myself like I can't say I'm not I'm a different person

now but like I just feel like I've grown so much is my brother laughing at me in the other room I feel judged they're probably laughing at the tv I got a wi-fi I got a tv story to tell you at the end here too I got a lot of stories guys this podcast me I don't know probably an hour so anyways what the fuck was I saying I'm cleaning the dog oh the dog the dog the dog oh the dog liked me basically I was trying to toot my own horn the dog didn't jump on me jump on me bark on me bark at me he he loved me it was great I just was expecting sometimes when I meet new dogs I just expect them to be awkward and like growl and mad I don't know sometimes that happens but um he was cool and I noticed his behavior the reason I mentioned that chocolate

chip. That chip is because Odie looks for food at all times. His nose is down. His body language is low. He's low and he's sniffing every square inch of the house. He's like a little lawnmower just covering every spot. So I'm like, he's going to find a chocolate chip if there is one. So I had to, I had to look low and slow. Okay. Got my iPhone fucking flashlight out, looked underneath the counters. I'm not fucking kidding. This dog isn't dying. Okay. Guys, I'm paranoid because my grandpa's dog just ate something the other month and fucking died. His dog Coco, God bless her. She was a English lab. I think she was like five. She was young. She ate something and she died. And, uh, he told me the story when he found her and it's traumatizing and I just,

so anyways I'm going real I'm going into detail about trying to clean this house but let me keep going further that was the first mission okay I'm cleaning out clutter and then I'm just like spiral spiraling around each room I have no trajectory or method to my madness I'm like vacuuming then I'm like cleaning the bathroom a little bit doing dishes I did like two loads of dishes I'm sweeping I'm dusting I'm back to vacuuming I had to vacuum a different room it was just like oh and then I'm organizing all of the beverages in the fridge I got all the alcohol lined up you know for we I set up a little bar and then I put all the LaCroix's the sparkling shit the ginger all the all the nice drinks for the week I lined them up in the fridge and

I cleaned all day okay I slammed a protein shake okay I slammed a protein shake halfway through I was I was so hungry I had two of those iced coffees I told you about in the beginning two of those and I had I I I've been you know what who's here I chug water all day my sister she's here uh she's filling speaking of water she's going to the well we have a well here in the kitchen we're uh living out on the prairie we don't have a faucet we pump we pump our water in a well, through a well, dude, well, fuck well water, shut the door, shut the door, we have a faucet, I don't know if you could hear it in the background, I told my family, I was like, guys, come as you please, come in the kitchen as you please, I'm not gonna make

you stop, it'll just be my comment, I'll just flow with it, I'll talk about you as you walk in, give you a little moment, so speaking of water, I drink water all day, but I drink coffee and water. I'm really, guys, I am, this podcast is specific as fuck. Everything I did is getting discussed. I am going into detail. Enjoy it. Okay. I felt my body go, shit, you're, you're lightheaded. You're over caffeinated. You've been, I felt like I ran a marathon, all the cleaning, you know, back and forth. I'm not used to this much square footage, right? I'm like, holy shit. I got to, you know, I'm covering a lot of ground. I need to eat something. And I'm like, you don't have time to eat. I had family in my head coming at two. I thought they

were coming at two. I thought the facelift was going to be over. My sister and my mom are going to be back. My brother and his girlfriend will be back at two. Okay. I didn't get this clean. She started to around, uh, after yoga and trading nine o'clock, nine at 10. Yeah. I had a lot of time, but not really. Basically I was like, I can't sit any, I can't pause. I just slammed a protein shake, and move forward, and I clean, I clean more, I just cleaned all day, all right, then, refer to my note here, I showered, okay, let's just come down, let's do, let's do the come down, I'm taking another drink, I finally showered, okay, tired as shit, I'm like, should I make a third iced coffee, because here's the thing, I haven't seen my brother since last

Thanksgiving, I'm like, I clean the house, everything's good, I chill, I should chill right now I shouldn't give a fuck about I need to like get nicely dressed and like shower and like be presentable but I fucking got ready for prom this afternoon okay like okay that's dramatic Jacqueline you're I know I'm dramatic it's Monday night I know it's that type of podcast but I showered I like I like lotion everything was like this sounds fucking strange that I'm saying this because my brother's coming out basically I just wanted to feel nice and look nice around my brother and his girlfriend that's not weird why did I feel like that was weird I didn't want to look like I didn't want to feel like a piece of shit in their presence I don't know that's

normal okay I'm normal basically I did my nails I did my hair so no I didn't lies I just let it fly. I did a little makeup moment. I put on, you know, I like put on perfume and did my nails. I said I did my nails. I put on a cute fit. I wore some, whatever these tie-dye, because my cute fit is leopard print slippers, Nike socks, tie-dye, sweats, big hoodie, and I put a bow in my hair. I call that my getting ready for prom afternoon I just needed you guys you know when you exhaust yourself cleaning it's the last thing you want to do to get cute and and like take a moment to self-care yourself let alone prepare for a night of entertainment which is fine like it's nothing

to sit around and just shoot the shit with my family that's not a big deal but it's kind of anticipating, like, I just need a break, I need a nap, I need to chill, but it wasn't that bad, I pushed through, didn't make that extra coffee, and I, someone else coming in, this door is mysterious, never knew who's gonna walk through, um, basically, oh, guys, guys, I gotta tell the facelift story soon, so hold on, let me just, let me just, um, close this cleaning section by saying, I poured myself a glass of red, okay, glass of red in the afternoon to celebrate the fact that I cleaned, I don't know, 3,000, 2,500, I don't know how many square feet, I don't know what square, how much square footage this house is, but I cleaned a lot of square

footage, and I took a, I took a moment with a glass of wine, sat back watching football highlights, I know I know how that sounds um does how does that sound to you I didn't see any games this weekend so I was like enjoying the football highlights okay sue me call me one of the boys this is a red flag I like watching the football highlights okay I missed all the games this weekend okay why do I feel weird about that it's it's totally normal sat back took a break put my feet up. I kind of napped a little bit, but I took a, I took a, this is where it took a dark turn. I was like, I want to chill and nap before anyone shows up. By the way, it's like four or 5 PM. Okay. I thought they were coming at two. So my anxiety between two and five about not

being fully ready and kind of discombobulated and like the house isn't like, there's a couple more things to do. So God damn. So those, those hours were kind of rushed and I felt anxiety. Like that's why I couldn't just chill I had to get ready and like complete you know okay the happy fucking holidays I over you guys here's the thing I'm sounding isn't my brand I'm just kind of why do I feel like fucking old man Jim Rogers that's not his fucking name come on he's just brash or he's just negative this whole fucking podcast um burr bill burr you know how he just complains and just rants and like i just feel like that kind of energy's out of me right now um i don't know i'm actually happy like here's the positive thing great morning with my mom and

sister shooting the shit drinking coffee yoga trading cleaning all day cleaning was fun because i was listening to trap music it was great and it was it was a lot of energy to exude but i cleaned and I had fun. So I'm not trying to say that today was a piece of shit. It actually has been amazing. So anyways, like I said, specific details. I'm, I'm taking a while. I'm taking my time here. Yeah. I drank that. So where do we leave off? I drank that wine to celebrate cleaning all that square footage. Okay. Then my brother and his girlfriend came home, saw their car drive in my little, you know, I was, like, excited, ran out, greeted them, saw their dog, and just so happy, and we just hung out, they made some pot stickers, we started, you know, catching up, I mean, that's what

you do when you see family, right, it's funny, I haven't seen them in over a year, just caught up, talked about a lot of fun shit, and, uh, yeah, then we were just sitting there waiting for my mom to come home from getting a facelift and uh we got a phone call so we were talking catching up they made some pot stickers I think I broke out the extra flaming hot hot hot cheetos the extra flaming hot hot cheetos um don't buy those just buy the normal ones I'm still feeling it my tongue like it I'm I think I have a hold I have a high tolerance for chemicals that are spicy chemicals, I'm not talking about a pepper you get at a Thai food restaurant, okay, my body knows what that is, but I'm talking about whatever the fuck they put on extra hot, hot, flaming hot

Cheetos, triple hot, XXX, I think they're triple extra hot, hot Cheetos, I don't do well with those chemicals, and I feel like, um, I, that's too much information, I'm not gonna say it, just assume, or just use your imagination about what I was gonna say, I'll be paying for this later, uh, anyways, so yeah, we're sitting there, chilling, snacking, and we're waiting for my mom to come home from the facelift, and then we get a phone call, we're going 39 in the Porsche down the freeway, this is what I get from my sister, she calls, we're going, Jacqueline, we're going 39 down the freeway in the Porsche, we're in a snowstorm, we can't see, we're gonna go pick up some pizzas on the way home

how's everyone doing just that shit and the last bit of information mom didn't get the facelift she chickened out all right bye so now you know she didn't get there's more to it so we ended up uh hanging out for a while as they're going 39 down the freeway they had to go pick up some pizzas and they got some more beverages didn't know we needed six bottles of wine but apparently we do for this week that's great not complaining um it's you know tis the fucking seat tis the tis the season to be jolly what's to deck the halls you know fa la la la la la it's you know when in Rome it is Christmas week it is celebrate you know what I said this I own this I said early on maybe episode 4 through 17

I can't wait to go home for the holidays and just ring out the year it's not what everyone says for New Year's just celebrate 2020 with my family I said yeah I know I'm gonna go home we're gonna drink a lot we're gonna do a lot of fun shit I don't give a fuck it's a celebratory thing right now because what a fucking year. Okay. Yeah. This place, you know, it's just, it's good for me. It's good for the soul. Um, yeah. So it's funny how I predicted this in here. You know what? This is what they say. You got to take a time, got to take time in your day to appreciate where you're at and have some gratitude or whatever. Like you remember when you wanted what you currently have. I remember early on podcasting, thinking and

visualizing doing exactly what I'm doing right now. Going home, seeing family for Christmas or Thanksgiving and Christmas and hanging out and having drinks and catching up and doing fun little things in Christmas shopping and baking cookies and all. And I'm doing it all. I have it so good. So anyways, my mom didn't get a face. She didn't get a facelift. I was kind of pissed. I took a before picture before she left, and I was like, she's like, this is what I'm gonna look, this last time I'm gonna look like, like this, and I was like, oh, holy shit, I was just, like, gung-ho, like, go for it, you know what, I'm all for it, if you want to tweak, and do something, lift, and inject, and whatever you got to do, I think it's great, I have no judgment about it, I think, I know a ton of people that

have gotten work done, but anyways, my sister called, she said she didn't get the facelift, she chickened out that's all I knew anyways they show up okay they show up it's a big embrace everyone's you know saying hello why do I always have to nervous pee like whenever everyone I'm always like the one who dips I have to pee because I'm nervous for no reason I maybe that maybe it's I don't know I guys it's because I drink a lot of water was I saying that earlier honestly I think it's not a nervous thing. I think it was because I didn't know what my mom was going to say about not getting, I was like nervous about what she was going to say, like something bad about not getting a facelift. But, um, I dipped out, they all said hello, started, you know, I preheated

that oven, made sure I did that before they showed up, got that bitch at 400. They threw in the pizzas. Everyone's catching up. I get my mom next to me around the kitchen table here. And she's like, let me refer to my notes here. She wanted me to disclose some facelift information. She says, you know what? I was looking around at this, at this hospital. I was looking at all these people to work here and everyone's face has been frozen for 10 years. Something inside me said, don't do it, don't do it, and she got nervous diarrhea, okay, she wanted me to let you know, she was so nervous about getting injections today, it wasn't a fucking, like, cut her up, that's so aggressive that I just said it, so, like, I'm just, okay, it wasn't a surgery, okay, it's, like, Juvederm,

Kybella, no, what's it called, let me just look at the packet here, guys, if you're curious, i mean they really give you they really sell it to you when you look at all this uh all these brochures and shit she went to an i'm not going to say that i don't know if i should say the name of it she went to an aesthetic center uh this is the surgical cost estimate form but yeah Restylane I'm seeing here Sculptra Juveu they're like fillers and Botox I think it's great she kind of she hasn't really planned for this I think she just ran like not randomly she I don't know she didn't I don't think she's the one who was like it didn't come from her to do it so I understand kind of why she's like I got I'm not doing this today I think she was like

told, like, you should do it, yeah, you'll love it, you'll feel so good, and then she's, like, okay, and then she got there, and she realized, holy shit, I'm not, everyone's face is frozen here, I don't want to look like that, and I think it's, she, yeah, hi, I'm talking about your nervous diarrhea, did that happen before or after you had the consultation, hey, Odie, before, she said it reminded her that feeling before going into the consultation was the same feeling she had when she got her cancer treatment jesus biopsies um did they what was the worst what was the scariest thing they said or the thing that was

get out flared up I don't know if they can hear it come on the mic can anyone hear that I hope you can she got anxiety, she had nervous diarrhea, her rosacea on her face flared up, and she got the fuck out of there, and they drove home 39 miles an hour in a snowstorm, and it's not a Corvette, you keep calling it a Corvette, she's got a Porsche, she's got a fucking pack of wheels that belong on the Daytona 500, apparently, I don't know, so long story short, I was kind of, I was sad i was like you know i knew she was excited to go and it was looking forward to it and um

they can't hear you mom come over and talk on the mic do you want to say more i think it's funny do you think um you said all the here you know how to talk on this here pro this is what i can say i had good talk about wait closer closer i had good intentions to have a facelift not a facelift no knife but a botox and a fill and when the surgeon and it's a surgeon so it's not like a chop shop it's actually the director of plastic surgery at a well-known hospital only the best for mama yeah that's right when he said i've been getting botox in my um forehead for 10 years and my wife can see i don't have anger expressions anger expressions anymore because it's frozen when he said that word frozen

you're like get the fuck out i'm out i'm like i'm done something inside and you shit your no something inside me bigger than me said stop so i told her thanks for not getting a facelift today because now i'm now i know it's like i'll see how like 10 grand so well she she's aging naturally you know she's never had anything done so i'll be able to see now exactly how i'm gonna look and she looks great the truth is your mom you're good you're okay thanks for hanging out love you see you tomorrow uh she looks great honestly she doesn't need anything done she would I think you anyone who sees her would be like that's she's goddamn my mom is a great looking woman and you know what uh I get that whole gut feeling thing when you just have like a

I don't think I should be here I feel pressure I feel like that's what happened because it is a sales pitch you don't even a lot of these places you go to get fillers Botox all that stuff they don't even do a consultation you just walk in and get it and get out so anyways what was I to say I hope you guys could hear that well I don't really have the interviews lined up with the family yet I hope my brother will do it this week but we'll see so basically we're I think that's about the end of the podcast here we got yeah she just wanted me to tell you guys that about her facelift it's not even I keep calling it that but then let me get into the night we basically hung out ate pizza drank coronas and I mean everyone's having their own thing tonight

I think we've got some whiskey drinkers tonight wine drinkers she gave me the hiccups I have water hold on dude you can't have hiccups on a podcast as a host like that's like it's like you shit what do I do I can't I don't pause this uh okay so fucking tonight this is what I love when my brother comes home he reminds me of my dad sometimes because like he's the tech tech guy so we got wi-fi hooked up here do you guys go to the wi-fi the episode the wi-fi guy go listen back to that basically the guy was here for two and a half hours and he shut down our cable like we can't watch TV. My brother and his girlfriend were like, can we watch The Bachelorette tonight? Which I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Uh, okay. And he went to turn on the TV and he's like,

I can't get the channel. What the fuck's happening? And tonight, like the end, this is going to be the end of the podcast. It's the last shit that happened before I went to record tonight. He's like in the closets with the flashlight looking like he's about to crawl in the attic, looking for wires, looking for where this Wi-Fi guy cut something, took something apart, installed something. He's looking for clues. He goes out, looks on the roof. He turned into, he went from zero to a hundred over not being able to watch The Bachelorette because our cables fucked up from the new Wi-Fi. And the last thing I witnessed before I came to do this show is he's like, I knew there was a cord by the garage here. Where is it? I knew it was

there. He's like going along the side of the garage. He's like, I know dad hung a wire here. I know there was a wire here. It's not there anymore. This guy removed this wire. It's supposed to be here. I've seen it every time I'm home. I know it's there. Then my mom comes out. She's like, yeah, I know my house. I see it every day. That wire is always there. Guys, the wire wasn't there so the guy removed it clearly and the bachelorette is not being watched until tomorrow because they'll watch on hulu when it comes out don't you love technology and shit dude we have it so good not to reflect but i'll do it so literally that's the day that's how the day ended they're all in there watching who knows what uh but let me reflect

I feel like we have it I mean I the whole having a phone access to the internet technology the ability to work from home connect to your grandma on your you know Facebook all this stuff is like it's insane how good we have it like I can't imagine a pandemic or like going through this kind of thing where you're locked down and isolated which don't get me started on all of that i'm starting to after a year i'm really going it i'm seeing things i'm like i just feel like a lot of this shit could have been avoided and it doesn't need to be like this and i want to just go back in time and fucking change everything but uh the fact that i don't know we can all connect through our phones that's like a helpful thing that's nice uh i i live you guys know i have

my own place in San Diego I can't imagine just like not even having a phone or a way to I just be you know the truth of the matter is I think what that you know it's the whole it doesn't mean it's better it's just different like you adjust to the times where I think in the past you'd be like compelled to roll outside and talk to your neighbors and uh well if you're fucking quarantined you're not allowed to do that, but you like, I don't know, knit all day, make butter. I don't know, but I feel like it's kind of wild. Like I I'm getting, I'm thinking deep right now. I'm just like, not only I'm like surrounded by family, I'm in a warm house. I got a podcast I love doing every day, I got support, I have a job, I've got, you know, it's just, and then, guys, I have a

cell phone, I mean, I got an iPhone, that's a privilege, I don't know, I got my health, my family's got their health, god damn, I got it really, I just gotta say thank you to the Lord above, whoever's in charge of all this, like, god damn, I got it good, god damn, God, I can't believe I just said that. It's disrespectful. Very disrespectful. I posted a selfie. Someone asked me about my teeth whitening routine tonight. I clap back. I clap back. Let's see if they replied. I need to end this. What's your teeth? Drop the teeth whitening routine. What did I say back? Forget. I literally just like said that deep thing as I was on Instagram. Thank you God for your blessing me with an amazing family, health, job, hobby, passion, purpose,

warm house. And I'm like on my own fucking Instagram. How many times a day do you look your own Instagram? I just don't even know why I'm there. Sometimes I'm like, why am I here? You just like tap it. You like tap it, tap the home screen, tap the home button. You're just like tapping around all day. I like do a couple of scrolls up and down. I'm not even looking at anything specific and then I get out. Uh, I'll get my head checked about that if you guys are worried um drop the what's drop the teeth whitening routine I said black coffee every day let's see if you replied nope I don't know like I feel like shit's changing like I my teeth just stay white I don't know

I brush them I use crust white strips here and there brush them every day twice a day I'm not so I don't go crazy. I'm not like, I have to brush. I bring a toothbrush everywhere I go and I brush my teeth in the bathrooms at restaurants. Like, no, I'm not that on it. Uh, no, no, no, no judgment. If you are, if you've got, you know, some, uh, dental, your dental needs are not, or is, or is it if your dental needs are more demanding than mine um but yeah why am I talking about fresh breath to end this podcast it's because I posted a pic me brushed my teeth okay well that's true I did that today I also decorated the skeletons my mom has two life-size skeleton Halloween decorations in the living room I put

a Santa hat thing on one of them I put a mask on the other one an N95 and then I put a corona box like a for the like the corona beers we have I had one of the skeletons holding that and the other skeleton is holding a white claw box and um that's that's my contribution to the Christmas decor around this house okay we do have a nativity scene we have holly and cheer and tinfoil what's around the mantle garland Christmas lights outside we have bells of holly boughs of hall i don't know we don't have a christmas tree though i'll say that we don't have a christmas tree okay i don't know how i feel about that i'm a little bit sad about that but you know what it's a lot of maintenance my mom is gone for a week in savannah charleston

she's been gone we didn't get a tree while she was gone like i planned but then i thought you know when we're gone again she's gonna have to deal with the tree and taking it down all that shit. So we don't have a tree, but basically I didn't contribute to any of that nativity decoration stuff. I decorated the skeletons and I called that good. All right. Happy Monday. Episode 109. We are done. I'm sitting back like this kitchen chair is a couch and it's not. I put my feet up on the table in the middle here. It's not on top, but like in front of me. this is the comedown of the podcast, all right, let's do it, patreon.com slash tjms, did it just glitch, I feel like it's been glitching all the show, patreon.com slash tjms, if you want to

support the show, everybody gets a shout out, everyone gets access to my exclusive patreon only content, so go check it out over at patreon, once again, patreon, patron, I can't, I hate the name of it Patreon I love Patreon I love you I don't mean that it's just hard to say because I have a speech impediment or something when I say it patreon.com slash tjms there you go and then you can head over to the Apple podcast app if you like this episode go ahead and leave a review that helps me out lets everyone know about the show and subscribe while you're there last but not least we got YouTube subscribe to my YouTube channel I'll be resuming my Monday through Friday video podcast in January when I'm back home in San Diego so go subscribe over there

I've got about 40 episodes up I think right now I'm pretty sure that you yeah I think there's about 40 that you can watch if you need to hang out with someone go check it out and then follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Rowe all right guys hope you had a great Monday I hope you're happy I hope you're fulfilled hope your family's healthy I hope you're healthy I hope your dog's okay if you have a dog I don't know I just I'm here for you I'm grateful for you I hope you're having a good Christmas season hopefully I feel bad saying that because I don't know and I just feel like it's not it's not easy this year I don't know I don't know if the Christmas spirit the morale does not seem high and I get that and I'm I'm right there with you it's it's a weird year it's

sad year but we're gonna get through it happy fucking holidays we're almost to 2021 let's make it better than this year let's make it forever let's make it the best year ever I mean this is the part of the podcast where I'm supposed to end it but I don't want to um I just feel like no one's talking about their resolutions because everyone knows that like sure it's just gonna be a bunch of bullshit too so I get it just focus on each day what can you do to keep yourself up what you can control focus on what you can control and uh don't let the world shake you so much don't let the outside bullshit crumble you and take it just and honestly what you give attention to will manifest like it'll just your brain can only handle so much and be uh just like nip yourself

like I don't know what's the word limit yourself uh be disciplined around your intake of all that bullshit because I don't know all right ah Jacqueline you should have ended the show 30 seconds ago but you didn't but now I'm gonna do it right now all right guys happy Monday I'll talk to you tomorrow all right bye