The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 110- Load 'Em Up Move 'Em Out

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

Happy Tuesday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up, guys? Happy Tuesday. It's episode 110. Welcome back to the show. Hey guys, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Happy Tuesday. Welcome back to the show. if you're new, I'm here seven days a week, go ahead and hit that subscribe button on the Apple podcast app and head over to patrion.com slash TJMS. If you want to support the show, if you want more content for me, uh, as a patron, you get access to it over there at Patreon patron, you know, this word, I want to go talk to the founder of the company and ask him about the word patreon patreon i say it every episode okay and i struggle with it i don't have a i don't think i have a i have a speech issue or a letter issue with the letter l okay i got it i had a tongue

thrust as a child and a gap in my teeth teeth so i struggle with the l uh consonant but patreon for whatever reason is annoying to say and love the company they do great things you know i'm big fan and, uh, you know, it's a fun place to hang out if you want to see the behind the scenes content I post there. So I'll, I'll veer, you know, I'll go back to what I was saying. I'll stop bitching about the name Patreon, but I'm curious, you know, what does it mean? Um, anyways, patreon.com slash TJMS, T J M S I'll say it slower, uh, to become a patron and everyone gets a shout out on Fridays. So go check it out. And next plug is YouTube. Go ahead and subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'll be resuming Monday through Friday on my YouTube video podcast in January when I

returned to San Diego. Did I even say where I'm at right now? Do you guys know where I'm at? Yeah, I'm still in Washington. I'm in my mom's kitchen right now. The whole fam's asleep. The whole family's asleep. I think a couple, my brother and his girlfriend, I think they're watching a movie with the dog, but I'm up out in the kitchen with a LaCroix coming down. We just played poker and I'll be honest right now. I feel like I just need to be honest as a podcast host, like get you guys behind the scenes in my head. Like, because I do this every day, I go through, I go through like, not every day is popping off when I'm on this mic. Okay. And I feel like tonight I was like, holy shit. I did so much today I have to talk about. It's so late. Um, I really honestly want

to go to bed. And by bed, I mean couch. Okay. I've been, I've been demoted. I've been demoted to the couch now. Anyways. I mean, should I explain that? Do you guys want to know details? I'll just get into it. I had my own little bedroom. It's been given up. Okay. I have new guests in the house. Go listen to yesterday's episode. If you want to know who the new guests are here for Christmas, by the way, are you home for Christmas? Are you going home for the holidays? How are you doing this week? Um, are you working? Are you on vacation? Are you going somewhere? Do you go to a warm place? Are you a Cabo type of family? Are you a Hawaii on Christmas family? Um, anyways, hope you're doing well. Uh, it's been a weird year, but I know the holidays can be

super exciting or super, uh, depressing for people. So I'm thinking about you. Hope you're doing okay. Uh, hope this show, I don't know if you can relate to me in some way, but maybe relate to this. I'm tired of shit at night. And I'm like, I'm it's put yourself back in college or high school cramming for an essay or a test the next day. Got to stay up and write or study. You know what? I put myself in this little shoe box called seven days a week podcast hosting, and it's fucking tough. I'll be honest. It's not easy, but I'm pushing through, okay? I want to be on that couch. Yeah, I'll go back to it. I want to be on that couch asleep right now, but I can't. Let me drink a little bit of La Croix to cheer up. Don't get me wrong. I love this shit. I do. This is like

the best time of my day, honestly, but back to the couch thing. Sorry. Who wants to listen to a podcast host bitch about podcasting and they, that they don't want to do it, whatever. Fuck it. Uh, I got demoted to the couch because there's some beds that have been, uh, given to, I gave my bed to the guests and there's two other bed options that I just don't, I don't know. I got a king size bed option to sleep with someone on, or I have a, or I have two king beds. I could just sleep on the other side, but I don't know what it is. There's something that rubs me the wrong way about getting into bed at like midnight one, you know, when I go to bed and having the person in the bed I'm sharing with, if you guys know anything about, you guys might

laugh at this if you know the story about the waking hours in this household at my mom's house something really rubs me the wrong way about me sharing a bed and my bedtime being midnight 1 a.m and the person next to me waking up at I don't know anywhere from 2 30 a.m to 4 a.m so I just can't do it so I got I got the couch tonight and I'm really excited to park myself there after this show and honestly guys I did this last night do you ever get so fucking tired you're on social media you're like I know I'm tired my eyes hurt I need to go to bed but I can't stop I'm gonna wait till my phone dies do you ever do that do I have an I have an addiction I know I do I'm social media addicted but honestly when I'm here at my mom's house I'm like every day is vacation

I'm just having a good time but last night I was like you fucking weak ass lazy ass self-disciplined, less ass. Like I was on, I literally saw the 1% battery and I was like, fuck it. I'm still going. And yeah. Anyways, where am I at with the show right now? I want to, okay. I plugged my shit. I'm going to walk through my day. Uh, sorry guys, bear with me. You know what? Thank you for being here. Um, here, let's just get into it. I'm going to jump into my day. Okay. I got a whole list here. Yeah. So here's what I woke up to speaking to the couch. I'm on the couch this morning, and I hear beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, like 5 a.m. I look at my phone at 5 a.m.

I'm like, right, what the fuck's happening in the kitchen? I hear a beep noise. So I go out to the kitchen, and I realize the stove or the oven timer had zeroed out. It counted down to zero, and it went off at 5 in the morning. So I put my head together. I put my memory. I retraced my steps. And last night we did frozen pizzas from, uh, Safeway, the grocery store here, threw

those in the oven, uh, for convenience and, uh, uh, you know, ease. And I set a timer. I thought it was for 10 minutes, but apparently I did for 10 hours and, uh, shot myself in the foot there. Cause this morning, cause I went to bed super, I went, I only got like four and a half hours of sleep last night. If you can't hear it in my voice, I'm just letting you know that that oven alarm this morning woke me up and then other people were waking up in the house, being loud as shit

out in the kitchen and I'm in the living room and I, you know, everyone's passing by me as they're waking up. I'm like, God, you know, I'm just like, can I get eight hours, please? I was so tired. Long story short, I ended up, uh, waking up at like six 30, uh, whole fam was out in the kitchen. Let me just get into it here. It was cool. My mom, my sister and my brother were out in the kitchen drinking coffee, waking up. Um, and we were just like hanging out. Like it was high school again. i was like does anyone want i was literally pretending like i was my dad i was like how many eggs do you want do you guys want like two eggs three eggs how many do you want my dad used to wake up in the morning like if i was getting ready for for high school or whatever

he'd be like how many scrambled eggs do you want or how many what like he'd ask my order and he'd make me breakfast he did it for the all of us so i was fucking around being like how many eggs do you want and uh we it was just like a great feeling to be the four of us my mom my brother and my sister and I just like sitting around the table. We were talking business, you know, we're talking about our phone plan. Are we doing it right? Who needs an upgrade? Who needs an Apple watch? Like my mom is trying to get me like, I literally heard this in the other room. I know I'm getting it for Christmas. Like I know Santa's bringing it. I hear, I hear this. This is actually why I woke up at six 30. I heard, I heard my mom, my sister, my brother going, yeah, Jack's I'm

going to get Jack an Apple watch. Jack's going to get one. I know she, you know, she's the only one that doesn't have one in the family she's gonna get one I'm gonna order her one I'm like oh my like I had a sneaking hunch okay because everyone in the family has an Apple Watch except me and my mom the other day was like is that something you'd like to have would you use it you know she's asking me little questions and I'm like hell yeah like they're sick I'd love one I have a whoop strap but they're all like my mom has both and my sister has both and they like I think they like the apple watch more the new one so whatever I heard that woke up perked up went in the kitchen um and is this interesting to you guys are you just like what's it try to put

yourself I'm trying to like make you get in your feels somehow about like being around family and like not reminiscing but it's like the old and it's like the back in the day where you're just little you're like little shithead teenagers and your mom's there and getting ready for school and someone's cooking breakfast, making coffee, and you're all just like talking shop. Like that's basically what happened this morning. It was really fun. And I really look forward to this every holiday season when we're all together and we can just sit and do that and just, we don't have to say anything or do much. It's just being in each other's presence is so nice. So we did that. Um, then my mom busted out a bag. She's like, okay, she called this. She's like, this is

called it's not Christmas. This shit was on sale. Like that was the, that was the like preface before she handed us over these presents. She's like, these aren't presents. This is not Christmas. This Calvin Klein underwear, all these nice, like, like workout. She gave me all these like yoga bras and crop top things and underwear and thongs, like all this new fresh stuff from Calvin Klein. She's like, this happened to be on sale. Don't get excited. This isn't for Christmas. Don't think this is a present so then she's handing me that and then she got my brother some like new underwear all this shit and we're just handing out gifts this morning like what the hell it's Tuesday Christmas is or excuse me when is Christmas Friday yeah Friday and it was kind of funny

we just fuck around and laugh and I don't know my mom's just she's a character like the more I'm around her the more I'm like she's Kris Jenner she's really Kris Jenner I mean you should have seen her in Costco today with sunglasses on I'm like and she played like I'll get into it I have a lot to tell you guys about the day but um anyways I was looking at upgrading my phone as you know I have an iPhone 7 plus and it honestly didn't hit me that I had a prehistoric fucking like old ass phone until I think a few months ago I realized what I had I'm like wait everyone has like three uh there's like three camera now cameras now on the iphone so the 12 yeah it has like three little circles i'm like i just have this little fucking well mine has a i think it

has two but it's like the old ass one so anyways i'm looking at our i log into my mom's account i'm like looking at her verizon shit um it's like i guess cheaper for all of us to be on the same like family plan than us each having an individual one but we're all getting a passed over next year she's like it's time you kids are gonna pay your own phone bill so whatever I was looking on Verizon to see how to upgrade and it's really easy and uh you know it's weird how I don't know I never noticed my phone's a piece of shit and it honestly hasn't failed this it's been I think since 2016 I've had it 2017 yeah so anyways I did that this morning my mom made breakfast she made sausage eggs no we didn't have eggs excuse me sausage bacon potatoes crepes uh was there like

orange juice I don't know all this good stuff and uh we all ate that then my brother and his girlfriend went out to roller skate kind of out towards the coast in a different town it's really cute so they went out there with the dog and roller skated around the town all day and then my mom, my sister and I, like three musketeers went shopping. We had all these errands to run. We still need like ingredients for Christmas and like what we're doing this week. So let's, let's just go through the lifts list here. Um, dude, I literally could fall asleep on that couch. I should just end it right here. Be like, you guys, I know, just let me cut to the chase here real quick we went to uh lululemon ross costco and walmart and then safeway and then i

took a nap we watched the bachelor my sister made crunch wraps we drank margaritas we played the game of life we played what do you meme we played poker and i'm podcasting that's literally literally the day. Now, hold on. Let me take a sip of my LaCroix to try to get some energy back. Like literally I'm about, you know, when you're so tired, do you just, it's like, I don't know. I'm there. Who wants to hear that? I don't know. I'm being honest. I mean, I'm trying to be like, Hey, we're hanging out. It's a joke. Like I'm literally telling everyone in the family. I'm like, it's like nine 30. I'm like, ah, shit. I got it. I got a podcast. they're all just looking at me like you got this you can do it it's fine just we'll go in the other

room don't worry about it I'm like I have all this support and stuff but I'm honestly starting to feel like they probably think I'm some crazy ass like I don't know I'll remember these days you know I'll remember being home sitting out in the kitchen being tired of shit like ah fuck I got a podcast here I am but let's just get into details I want to I think I got it in me we went to, uh, we, we went to town. My mom, my sister and I went to town. We went to Lululemon, Lululemon and dude, customer service there was on point. I was proud of them. I was like, it was genuine. They were upbeat, perky, happy, very accommodating, helpful, making sure everyone was six feet apart. Like it was perfect. I love Lulu, Lulu. There's the L, fuck me. Lululemon. That's like the,

That's literally the word I can't say at all. Like, let me try. Lou, Lou, Lem. What's it with the, what is with L that I can't say? Why can't I say it? Lou, Lou, Lou. It's like the, where do you put your tongue when you say L? Is this now a, is this now a speech?

uh is this a english learning english fucking podcast damn it guys i'm tired can't you hear i got the moon outside i'm looking for saturn and jupiter right now i don't see any stars next to the moon i thought they're next to the moon i just see one star did you guys see that last night the conjunction of saturn and jupiter yeah i didn't the clouds were too thick last night so i didn't see it but I saw pictures on social media and I'm so underwhelmed, so underwhelmed. I thought it was like, it was cool when you saw the time-lapse videos of them going like the two stars in a straight line rising and then setting, like you could see what, you know, the hype was, but

I don't know, for some reason I thought they were going to be bigger. It was going to be brighter. It was going to be like cooler looking. Um, but anyways, I'm pretty sure you can still see them. they'll just be slowly getting further apart or something. Yeah. Anyways, back to what I was saying. We went to, uh, Lulu, Lulu lemon, excuse my French. I can't fucking say it. Um, and great people. My mom's like, this isn't Christmas. Pick out something, what you want. This isn't Christmas. She got like, she had to put it in my brain. Like Jacqueline, this isn't, this is just a Tuesday. We're at the store. I want to, I want to treat you to something. Don't get it twisted. This is not a Christmas present. Don't think I'm bright. Don't think this is like, I don't know why she

said that. I'm like, mom, this whole week is Christmas. All these things you're giving me are presents, but she has something. I think there's something weird about her not wrapping it and making it like an official Christmas day present. She's like, nah, I'm just helping you out. Pick out a pair of leggings. So anyways, I got these black pair of leggings that are, you know, super cute. And they're like the new, um, I love the align pants, but they're, they're kind of cut different than that. I don't know. They're black. I, I mean, you really can't go wrong with black Lulu, Lulu, Lulu's goddamn. Hi, welcome to Lulu lemon. I couldn't work there. Hi, welcome to Lulu lemon. Lulu. I can do it. Lulu. There we go. Yeah. I

can't go wrong with Lulu, Lulu lemon pants. All I'm annoyed. Okay. So we went there and then we went to Ross and my mom had to return something. Oh my God. Let me get into it. Holy shit. What an experience. My sister rolls up to Ross and she drops us off. First thing my mom says is if shit's going down right now, it's no, she's like, if shit's going to go down, it's going to go down right here, right now. And that's because right outside of Ross, outside the front door was a Brinks truck. And she's like, yeah, when I used to work at Frederick and Nelson's, they, you know, they'd haul like millions of dollars into those trucks. Someone's going to fucking bust that. they're gonna do it right here right now I mean the truck is here it's in position for someone

to fucking take it over and take all the money so she was joking around I don't know my mom's just like it just like the commentary I think we're so delusional sometimes and about like when we're in public we get psyched like we're overly the commentary is like just it's like negative and grouchy and funny but it's not like we're just like is it cathartic to do that what's the feeling when you just like bitch about people you're like people watching and bitching and making commentary and all the fuckery with the masks and the distancing and the people being fucking annoying and like we're just like these bitch ass motherfuckers like it's hard you know it's it's like we're not serious about it we're just like we're venting about the culture like the people

and the the zoo of the town we live in I mean it's so fucking busy on a Tuesday at Ross at we went to Walmart at Costco it was I don't know it was a lot but my mom is such a character so she made the commentary about the Brinks truck that they load the money into from all the stores and the only reason I went in with her is because I had to pee really bad I was like oh I'll just go use the bathroom when I while you return it and it was a walk up to the god this place by the way so packed like it was like I'd say in a Ross there was probably 150 people in there maybe more it was every aisle everything was packed with people probably shopping for presents that's probably what it is obviously um but anyways I went to the bathroom door and it was like all restrooms are

closed as a precaution because of COVID-19 I'm like god damn it so here I am like looking pregnant with my pee belly going to my mom in the checkout aisle where she's returning something you know you just kind of have to go into survival mode at that point like just suck it up like when you're on a road trip and you have to pee really bad you just figure it out and I was just like all right I'll just like hold my stomach like I'm pregnant like it's that bad um I don't know so we're in the Ross this is where this is the story I want to tell we're in the Ross return aisle or whatever. And my mom's fucking up left and right. She's like handed the lady, the bag, the lady goes, ma'am, ma'am, I can't touch the bag. I can't touch the

bag. I'm not, I'm not allowed to touch the bag. So mom takes the bag back in front of the plexiglass because there's glass, you know, there's that plastic shit in front of the register. So mom, she takes it and she's like okay so then she shoves the bag or no yeah she shoves the bag like under the plexiglass like she didn't hear correctly the lady's like ma'am ma'am I can't touch the bag so my mom takes the clothes out the she had all these dresses she had to return because she tried them on you can't use the dressing dressing rooms in these stores anymore so I was literally literally in her bedroom this morning helping her change into all these new dresses she got like I'm like how is it any better that she was literally naked putting these dresses

on and like it's like touching her and then you're returning them you're just like handing her the dresses under these this plastic cover thing it's like fucking the fuckery of all this is so annoying and so my mom hands her the dresses thinking yeah I was literally like I've my I've my COVID-19 could be on this more than probably the bag I don't know so she hands it under long story short the lady like didn't really acknowledge she like finished the return and my mom's just standing there and she didn't understand like it was done and the lady's like pointing at the receipt thing she's like take your receipt like my mom had to pull her own receipt because they don't touch anything it's fucking annoying so my mom was just like

like, she was flustered, just confused. Like, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I handed you the dresses. I never knew if anything was done. She was kind of like the, the, the lady was rude and like unresponsive and not like, she wasn't taking her time to let my mom know like, okay, thank you. Oh, she's like, put it. My mom's like trying to put her card in the thing to get the money, like for the return. And she's like, no, it'll be automatic. We don't need your card. Like it was so fucking confusing here i am with the details on a tuesday night i don't know that was an experience at ross then we mobbed over to costco dude i got a p story for you i'm like going into costco with my sister my mom christian i mean she had the sunglasses on in costco she put

them on in there and i was like great here we go she turns into like she's so fucking funny when she does that it's like she turns into a character so my sister and i are in the bathroom and i'm looking around I'm like this bitch is packed people are waiting in line everyone's like like you walk in a stall as someone comes out there's no distancing then they have this fucking trough in Costco where you wash your hands it's like one giant trough and this plexiglass like one foot wide between each sink or like faucet thing so I'm like how does this make any sense like here's where I'm at with all these precautionary, this infrastructure, this new fucking infrastructure at the post office, at grocery stores, at Costco, like at all these, if I, okay, I get it. It's like

the government, there's all these rules people have to comply to because it's, if you want to stay open, Costco. You got to put up the plexiglass along your water trough in the bathrooms. Christ. So my, my whole thing about it is like, imagine being the manager or whatever the owner, whoever's telling the people to put up the plexiglass at Costco like it's so fucking dumb it doesn't do anything how does that do anything like I'm literally looking at it I'm looking a lot of shit now I'm like how is this doing anything like I'm really starting to get pissed I'm like so we're I'm a lady walks out of the stall I walk in immediately she was just marinating her breath like her breath is marinating

in there probably someone before her and then we proceed to walk over to the trough with a one foot plexiglass between each thing and wash your hands and then back up and then there's nothing between us like it makes zero sense so like if I owned a business if I was in charge of you know setting some new shit up in my business I would like I would fucking go I'd fall apart I would I would scream I would be so like this is irrational it doesn't have any logic or it doesn't make any sense it looks fucking dumb a fifth grader would say yeah this is fucking dumb like how is it that we can just pass by each other and stand you know like but our plexiglass in the bathroom is gonna save us like fuck no anyways so yeah we went to the bathroom and then my mom was like we came out

to her just like standing waiting for us like all sassy waiting to grocery shop and I don't know we went there for a few things like we had to get like lettuce and I don't know let me see if I have any notes here um oh my mom was bitching about the samples she's like so she thought there were samples people were eating like they had the station set up around Costco and I realized they're just on display. Like they don't actually have little cups of samples for people to take. There's people standing there all day

with like a full plate of a sample showing what it is. And I'm like, what are you supposed to do with these Costco stations, these sample stations? Go up and ask questions and observe the food? Like these poor people stand there all day long. I'm sure they have shifts. and they're there to answer questions as people just sit and observe a plate of food. Like here, this ravioli on the plate. Do you have any questions about it? Do you need me to show

you where it's at? Like, it's kind of sad. I'm like, this is fucking dumb. Like I get it. I don't think, you know, samples probably don't do that. I don't know. I honestly don't think anything fucking is. Guys want to know my honest Tuesday night, 10, 16 PM fucking tired. Want to go on the couch and sleep opinion. Do you want to know it right now? If I'm speaking from the soul in terms of all of the precautionary shit in all of the barriers in place, you know, minus the masks. I just think the, well, even the masks, I don't know. I just think it's all bullshit I'm starting to look at it I'm like it's not I don't think the numbers would have been like if we don't have that fucking plexiglass in the bathroom at Costco

all year I don't think that would have like it that didn't make any difference in someone getting COVID or not do you know what I mean I'm just looking everything I'm like nope that's a waste of time and money someone had to put that up don't need it that's a waste of plastic we're putting this shit in front of every register everywhere like I don't know I don't think it's that effective. I don't know what the science or the research is, but I don't think, I think it's a bunch of bullshit. So I'm just annoyed. Um, anyways, my mom, I have a note here. My mom doesn't like when I joke around. So this will be the segue. Um, I was joking around Costco, just like saying stupid shit, making stupid commentary, kind of pushing the cart. I was

like running in the aisle and like trying to slide on an office chair didn't she didn't like that she's like this is all new what's going on why why are you like this what Jacqueline why why are you so obnoxious or I'm like mom I'm having fun this world is fucking crazy look around everyone's wearing a mask everyone's here paranoid and on edge anti-social freaked out uh, they have, you know, they're anxious about Christmas and buying food for their family and like trying to get everything right for the holidays. And people are just on one here. Like that's the vibe at Costco. Right. So I'm like, I can't take any of this fucking shit seriously. Yeah. I'm going to bounce around the walls and just have fun and make jokes and

bitch about stuff. Cause it's fun as shit. I love doing that. Like we all kind of do it as it is, but I'm the one that gets called out. Like, Jacqueline, why are you doing that? why are you so fucking obnoxious and then i mean so here's a segue to walmart so anyways we got our shit at costco um i don't know why did i rant so long about the water and the plexiglass do you guys see what i see it just seems like it's so dumb like it doesn't it i don't know but anyways walmart or excuse me costco's done lululemon is done we're on the way dude, we're on the way to Walmart. Okay. I'm in Walmart. I scope out a pinata and I put that bitch under my arm and took it under my wing. And it's a, it's a donkey. It's about two feet long.

And my sister's like, Jack, let's get a pinata. Let's, you know, let's, let's blast up. Let's blast open a pinata tonight. We're having my sister made crunchwrap Supremes homemade tonight. She's like, let's get a fucking pinata. We had margaritas. Um, I'm like, yeah, we need a pinata it in the night. So I just walked around with that bitch under my arm. My mom's like, what's, what are you doing? I don't get it. I don't get it. What are you doing? What? I don't get it. And I was just like, what? I'm like, this is funny as shit. It looked funny as shit. I'm like, I'm holding a pinata and walk around the store. We're buying this. It's $13 to over, it's way overpriced, but I'm like, I'm getting this thing. And she made me go put it back. She's like, I'm

not going any further until that thing's put away. And I'm like, are you kidding? I'm just having fun. It's not my idea. The pinata was actually my sister's idea, but I'm like, I just want to go look like a jackass, walk around with it and fucking have it under my arm. It looks, it was really cute and funny. Like she laughed at me initially when she saw me with it, the little pinata donkey thing, she thought it was funny. And then she's like annoyed. I'm like, God, you know, guys, again, I'm delusional. It's the end of the year. I'm just trying to have fun, make light of everything. I'm in Walmart. It's fucking crazy. Guys, there's a guy walking around. God bless his soul. I mean, I hope he's okay. I hope his health is good. I mean, he had a piss bag hanging out of

his body. I mean, he was, is that a, what's that called? A catheter? Is it called a catheter? Am I being insensitive to people that have to use those? I'm trying, I'm trying my best. Yeah. He's wearing PJs, walking around like he's, you know, just who knows? I, I, he was alone. I honestly feel bad that I'm even saying this but you see it all at that place okay so I'm the weird one with a fucking pinata under my arm I get it um here's what else happened at Walmart let's look here um we're just like oh my god the three of us together is like a fucking circus I'm tasked to get so we're getting ingredients for these crunch wraps my sister needs some oil so they're like can you go get some oil? And I'm like, yeah. Okay. So I grabbed the smallest, like, I didn't

think we needed that much. So I grabbed the smallest container of like vegetable oil or whatever. I don't even know what it was. And then I go over to the cart a couple aisles down and they're just rolling their eyes. So like, what in the fuck, why did you get this? What are you doing? We need a big jug of it. We're going to need a lot more oil. And I was like, I didn't no. So I went back and got the biggest jug, right? They're like, we need a lot. Then I go back with like a gallon of fucking vegetable oils for a deep frying situation tonight. And they're just rolling their eyes again. They're like, what in the fuck? It's so huge. We don't need that much. I'm like, are you kidding me? So my mom goes and gets the right size, like a quart of canola oil

or whatever it was. I think it was a vegetable. I don't know. So we did that. Um, it's just like, it got to the point where everything was funny because everything was funny today um my mom's just like we should stand here with a headset on and do commentary about the people of walmart i mean her comments it's like out of empathy and sadness and compassion though like we get a lot of people that were there today or you know it's been a rough year financially emotionally families are going through it's the holidays you can only imagine what these people are going through but it's hard not to fucking look at them and be like holy shit like what did I just see got purple and blue hair you got a tutu on you know you're 700 pounds but you're right and you're

riding a scooter it's just hilarious I mean you see it all there I'm I'm just again empathy compassion like I can't imagine like I don't know I don't even know how to talk about this without being, it sounds offensive and rude and mean, but sometimes people are ridiculous at that place. And it's hard not to laugh. It's hard not to just like be kind of in shock about it. What you see at Walmart, I'm being honest, you know, um, I had, I saw someone with her, she, she didn't need to hike her pants up to her boobs, but she did. And it was fucking, I couldn't stop laughing. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Why are your pants that high? It's like, you just never know. It's people are, um, it takes all kinds. As my mom says, you know, we got to love everyone. We,

this world needs a variety pack of all kinds of people with all kinds of, all kinds of quirks and styles and personalities and whatever. And, um, in fact, she cried on the way out of Walmart. Walmart there's this little girl with a coat on and rain boots and she's like oh that little girl doesn't have very much and it's Christmas you can just tell she's doesn't she's not going to get very much this year and they just looked really poor and like you could just tell she probably we're judging a book by its cover I'll admit it yeah we saw this little girl and it made my mom cry because you could just see the you could just see the whole situation with the car and the mom and just yeah so we cry a lot about people and Walmart's a tough place for my mom to be because

she gets really emotional about uh like people that are you know underprivileged misfortunate disabled overweight whatever it is it's really sad to see sometimes um because you just the thing is is we're human beings it's it's easier on the mind and the heart and the soul to see a healthy fit person or just a happy-go-lucky like well person marching around a store who isn't riding a scooter cause they are too, like they're morbidly obese or they're, you know, missing a leg or I don't even know. It's Jesus Christ. Okay. So we're in the checkout aisle. We finally get all of our shit. We've got the right oil. We've got a bunch of, what else did we get? Is there anything funny that happened other than the pinata and the fucking oil? Guys, I'm tired.

Um, we show up to the eye at the checkout aisle. We're doing self-check and we're kind of split between the left checkout and the right checkout spot because we noticed the two people in front of us were kind of at the same, they kind of have the same amount of shit. So we were waiting to see who would get done first. So we're joking around and we're like, it's a race, you know, there's a guy behind us and we're like, we're not going to take a position yet. We're trying to see who's going to finish their shit first and check out first. And, uh, he was kind of, we were kind of joking with him, but we finally took position, took a position. And then the other side, this guy got, he, he went ahead of us because the other side finished first. It was funny. Check out. And

my mom's doing the self-check shit. It's taken forever. I mean, just everything from having to wait produce to getting her ID checked because she's fucking buying. I think we got spaced us like some IPAs or some shit. And she's like, Oh, I didn't even know I bought alcohol. Like the girl shows up, the young girl, like to check her ID. She's like, Oh no, I didn't even know I bought alcohol. I didn't eat. My mom is so funny. She's a character, right? It's just like the Costco shit with the sunglasses. Everything's fucking just, I don't know. It's hard. You guys, I almost want to film her. It's so fucking funny. But at Walmart, the lady's like, I think, yeah, I just got to, I just got to check your ID. And my mom's like, I'm 55 out loud. I'm 55. You know, here she

is, looks 55. Well, she looks younger than that, to be honest. I don't know what a 55 year old woman typically looks like, but I'd cut, I cut a good 10 years off that. My mom probably looks 10 years younger. But anyways, she, uh, I was like, I'm 55. It's funny as shit, but we're packing up the bags then I'm saying we always do this I don't know what this phrase is is from or why we say it but we're always like like I'm just screaming it under my mask no one can hear I mean it's not like that loud but I'm just like fucking around like load them up move them out load them up move them out we just like say that and just like air traffic control fucking hand motions directing traffic like moving our cart, putting bags in it, getting out of the store, acting like we're fucking going

down a assembly line. I don't even know. It was just funny as shit. And then we go outside and my sister backs out. Once we lifted the shit in the car, my sister backs out around the curb and she like fucking hits, she goes over. How do I explain it? You know how there's like flower beds by parking lots she like went over that really bad and we bounced it's funny as shit and then on the way out now we're on the way to Safeway because we got it by a prime rip because Walmart didn't have anything we were not good I don't think we weren't going to get it there because I don't trust that meat or I don't think they even have it but anyways on the way to Safeway guys I told you like I'm into the details now I told you the itinerary of what happened today

earlier now I'm getting into details as I remember it hold on I need more I need a new uh LaCroix oh shit just foamed in my or sparked in my mouth oh dude I think I have a scratchy throat coming on I'm not too excited about that i am i'm amazoning like a whole new pack of those wellness formula tablets though uh they're coming i think thursday because i just need to get up all my vitamins and my you know prevention covid19 prevention shit so anyways we're on the way to safeway and we take a we take a right turn and all of a sudden my mom's like what's going down at panda express i'm like what and i look at the building and there's these twirling look like lights like

an alarm was going off like a fire alarm was pulled they were really bright they're flashing they're up on the top of the building at panda express next to walmart they're spinning and i'm like oh some shit's going out my sister's just like hauling ass not really she's just like we're just driving to safeway right and we just we scoped it out and it's like uh what we realized is there wasn't, like, some shit going down there. My mom's like, there might be, you know, someone might be robbing it. There might be a fire.

What's going on? You know, there's these spinners. They're like, you know when you think of, yeah, it looked like at an airport, how there's, like, big flashing lights that spin. Yeah, it was like that. So we're driving by Panda Express, and I look, and I'm like, these are literally moving in the wind.

And it's like they put these flashy things on the top of the building to attract people to go there or some shit I have there was no purpose for these spinning flashy things there was just like you could tell how they were designed to catch wind like as they're spinning they have these little cups that catch the wind like I don't know how to explain it it's kind of like a not a wind chime like something you'd see on a farm that does that whatever like a wind you know how you see on the top of barn barn barn i feel like old barns had those where you could see which way the wind was going like it was a rooster thing and then the arrow and then it would blow in the

wind and you could tell yeah so i think it was like the same thing the design was like that type of thing but whatever we drove by that it was like so we were being so dramatic at first like oh my gosh something's going down at panda express and then like nothing happened it was just those stupid fucking flashy things and I was driving we were driving next to IHOP like close to Panda Express I'm like IHOP doesn't have that on the roof I don't know what's going on like it's not something all the buildings have I don't know so then we go to Safeway and at that point in the day it was like 3 p.m. I think we were power shopping for like two or three hours beforehand I'm like I need a nap

but I can't do it so I uh we went in we got some shit um we had a mission we were on we got we needed a prime rib I think that bitch is like 15 fucking pounds it was expensive I didn't understand how expensive meat can be

sometimes got a prime rib big chunk and we got some sherry dry sherry my mom needed is that what it's called took forever to find that um what the fuck else did we get we only had a few things maybe a couple produce items i don't know we got a few things but funny as shit this is the end of the shopping day with my mom and sister or stand in this self-check aisle or stand in the self-check aisle and you know my mom gets id'd for the fucking sherry

and it's like please wait as someone someone is on their way to verify your id or whatever the thing says and my mom whips out a card in her wallet it's like a jesus prayer card and she's like this is my id and she showed the guy a picture of like this little card a little laminated jesus card of her id and this young kid was like not having it not even in with in on the joke thought it was funny just like rolled his eyes scan the thing like realize she's obviously like old enough and we were laughing so hard like she's just so fucking funny so yeah we got that and uh went home I immediately napped at home we were supposed to go to my grandpa's house to get eggs for breakfast this week but we were too tired to even swing by and pick him up because he's he's got

chickens that uh they lay like a dozen eggs a day which is sick so we need some we have no eggs which is really tough because I eat them every day and uh we didn't have energy so we came home I just chilled and napped and uh I napped for like an probably probably like an hour and uh I don't know what happened next oh my brother and his girlfriend were home and then I woke up to them watching The Bachelorette yeah they were watching that the finale and I was kind of watching with them and then my sister was making Crunchwrap Supremes homemade and the other room with my mom my mom was making margaritas and then let's see what else happened I have my notes I haven't even looked at my notes in a while

um oh yeah I napped with the dog guys I have to say this I can't wait to have a pet like I know I'm so due for a pet but I thought it was a cat like you know I I thought you know I can't do a dog it's too high maintenance but after seeing my brother and his girlfriend's dog I'm like I need this kind of thing around me like I know it's a lot of work I know I want to raise it from a puppy but I feel like the reward is so like of having a dog around is so nice and and comforting and fun and yeah I just he like came I didn't even ask him he just came and napped with me put his head on my chest you know he snores he's a great little dog I think my brother said he's a he's a lab pit mix it's a really cute little dog his

name's odie but yeah we slept um yeah i woke up to them watching the bachelor it's corny as shit um think about that show i think everyone lives for the the corny kind of cringy shit but i don't know i can't really get into it like i just i'm sitting there dissecting the i'm literally watching the contestants and i'm like okay i hear what you're saying but what are you actually thinking right now and i can't help but do that so it's fun for me because i'm like are they they're probably probably like it seems almost like they're acting because if i i would be immediately disqualified for not complying with anything like i would sit there and be like i i will i could never just do it because it's a show and it's like part of the show to do all these like

dates and corny little like things like like tonight it was kissing in an ice bath to set a world record and it was the most corny thing ever there was like this world record expert a guy with a little hat on like little like french or a little like he had this little hat on this this like older dude and Chris Harrison at a little booth. And then the, I forget their names, Ivan. And I can't remember her name. She's the bachelorette. They were in the ice baths kissing and they were just watching it. And I'm like, you could never get me to do that. I don't care if it's for TV. It's if it's part of it, I could never get myself to take any of that seriously, even for money or any, like I would sit there and laugh, joke, make fun. I could not. So the

whole time I watched the bachelorette, it's like, is this a genuine, are you genuinely saying you're falling in love? Are you, uh, it doesn't like, it's hard to see if it, or it's hard to dissect if it's genuine or not, because people are good liars and fakers for TV. You know, I'm not saying all of them are. In fact, I'll give it to this guy tonight who I haven't been following the show until literally I woke up from the nap today and saw it on the TV because they happened to be watching it. But there's one guy that like really maturely, um, I guess broke things off with her and said he's, you know, he doesn't feel complete in himself and still needs to kind of soul search or whatever and um doesn't feel ready i don't know it was kind of like a that seemed genuine

and mature and honest um instead of like him faking it till the end but anyways watch the bachelorette let me keep going here holy shit what an episode um sorry to like be i don't know negative and ranty or like tired but ah 110 episode one you guys i got 365 episodes i'm doing it in a row. You never know what you're going to get. Um, I genuinely enjoy this. I can't say I'm struggling right now other than the fact that I'm tired, but talking and have like, I don't know, chunk more LaCroix for the, honestly, it's the carbonation that lifts up, lifts up my spirits that I, that I keep coming back to here. It's a lime LaCroix. One of the best. I like the lemon two my mom's got the lemon one it's pretty good so then we played so we watched the bachelor

eight crunch wraps they're so fucking good my sister made them so good i honestly think that's the best thing i've eaten in 2020 i was like it was she made them like gourmet i don't even know what she did um and i purposely like do you guys ever do this i don't like when you cook the food for people it doesn't taste as good as when someone just you don't participate in the cooking and like someone just makes it for you or it I feel like it depends but sometimes I like don't want to be in the kitchen I don't want to see anything I just want to get surprised like I didn't know how these were going to turn out I've been to Taco Bell I've had a crunch wrap but I did not know what they were gonna like I had nothing in my head of like you know I didn't

want to be involved, but I think that made it taste better. Cause I like, I don't know. It was so good. I was shocked. Um, here goes the hiccups from the LaCroix. Okay. Then we played the game of life, the game of life. I was the banker. Um, you know what? And I caught myself cheating guys and I called it out in front of everyone, not on purpose. It was an accident, but like two moves after me I realized I had gone I don't know like three spaces in the wrong way or something and then the bank owed me 300k yeah I took 300k everyone watched me do it because they thought I landed on that space and then a couple moves after someone else a couple other people went and then I realized I'm like wait I moved too far I am actually supposed to owe the bank 100k

and uh i don't know my old like younger self used to be the banker and just like pocket cash and monopoly and fucking life any game where someone has to control the money and like pass it out i was just like i was stealing it left and right and then my dad i remember when we were younger he would buy candy bars for the winner and i feel like everyone got one though i don't know and i remember one time he caught one of us cheating it was probably me um and he was really it was like a formative what's the word it like when I was really little this isn't something I'm not just like a cheater I don't guys first of all you're like oh you're talking about cheating let's talk about you cheating on guys um literally have never cheated in my life like if anything

it's the opposite and that's usually why I get my heart broken and shit it's the fan of my relationships if it happens it's happening to me I'm not the cheater I've never honestly I can go to my grave and say that like I don't I'm like I'm the type of person where I know how does the segue go we're talking about board games and I'm talking about relationships but I feel like I'm the type of person who can easily get like I easily get emotionally attached or whatever so I really care I have to like be careful and watch myself about you know who I date and like what I do with him but um my loyalty is fucking I don't want to say psychotic because it's not psychotic to be loyal but like I don't I just I don't know I get like laser vision tunnel vision I just like

when I find someone I like don't I get super um attached or like emotionally attached if I really like you and I don't want to I don't even think about other like I don't know how to explain it I give everything a hundred percent like I just can't imagine dating someone and just be and like fucking around with someone else personally like I know it's hard like when you're it's hard when you're like I know there's a lot of people out there that date multiple people at the same time and they're like in and out of they're like keeping things going with different people through you know it's not ever really official or anything exclusive and serious but they're still like going on dates with them and seeing them like I get that but for me I'm like all in or all out

like I don't I don't know but yeah I cheated today on accident honestly it was honest mistake Like I caught myself, called it out big, you know, growth moment in my life from being like seven. And then my dad gave me a lecture on how his dad told him how it's like a character thing when you cheat in a game, like you do not cheat. It's not, um, cause it, that can trickle into other areas in your life and, um, you can't trust people that cheat. So don't be a cheater.

And, um, you have to look yourself in the mirror every day and, you know, you want to feel, you know, good about yourself and, and feel honest about everything you've done and not shady, like, you know, all the good things. So he gave me that lecture about pocketing some extra cash. Like, I don't know. He probably saw me do it. He taught me magic though. And so I was always good with my hands, like switching cards.

And I'm sure he did that with the Monopoly money. I don't know. anyway so we played life then we played what do you meme and then we finished the night with poker uh that was literally the day holy fuck i'm tired of shit um um should i like deconvert excuse me i don't know sometimes i'm like i should take people behind the scenes of what it's like to do a podcast to be a host seven days a week but to be honest if i was you know if i was on point if i was a professional badass going to the top fucking top of the charts millions of downloads

i mean i'd have my shit together i'd be on a schedule i'd have a night like i'd have show notes i did technically i had a fuck ton tonight i wrote before i did this because i just I didn't want to get brain dead and forget what happened today. Um, I shouldn't sell myself short at the end of the day. I've done this 110 days in a row. I'm proud of that. I feel like I'll say something. My confidence is kind of, it's really gone up because I feel like at the end of the day, I can always say I jumped on the mic. I talked about my life. I talked it out. I worked about, I worked on something, you know, whether it's my just mental health stuff or my behavior. I'm trying to improve around family and relationships or goals I have or

ideas or jokes about society and the world right now. Like I feel like a sense of like, I don't know if it's like, I don't know. I feel like a boost of, it's like a feel good thing. What's the term? It's like confidence. uh, fulfillment. It's definitely fulfilling, proud. I don't want to be like, Oh, I'm proud of myself, but it's just knowing that I knocked it out and I did it. And I, it wasn't easy. And I had to stay up late and I'm tired of shit. And I'm like, I can still doing it. It's like a cool feeling. I don't, I don't miss, you know, I think of like, I don't know, basketball player, you know kickers in football that don't miss like there's something about it and for me it's just

my way the whole 70s a week thing is my way of uh building that self-discipline up feeling um accomplished like every single day and something that is creative and fun and like helpful for my uh like it's honestly like self-therapy or whatever it's like journaling except i'm talking um but yeah anyways you guys get it uh it's weird how i've gotten a lot of dms where people are like you've inspired me to like i want to start my own show and i've told you guys like when i dm you back i'm like it doesn't matter who's listening how many people it doesn't matter it's just the process of doing it and posting it and being consistent feels so good it goes with everything like you could paint a picture every single day and I'm all about like I believe I'm the type of

person who just has to be like all in obsessed seven days a week or for the podcast I don't know why the podcast is what I discovered and you know it's my purpose now which is amazing I never really knew what that was until this year so shout out 2020 for uh you know the world the universe whatever you call it like showed me that or brought it to me or I don't know but um I just need that discipline of I can't sleep until I've got it done uh no matter what it is small goals are like that for me too like I have other shit I'm working on I don't miss a day of yoga now I don't miss a day of um i drink water guys jesus christ i'm you know this is what i feel like right now you know when you're just like pillow talking you're just on the pillow and you're just like

being a zombie you're so tired and you're just saying everything you're loopy like i'm there can you not hear it I think my eyes are gonna go crossed I'm so tired um but anyways I got a big day ahead tomorrow it's Wednesday um I'll be Christmas shopping I'll be uh I'm gonna get such good sleep tonight I just know it I'll be perkier hopefully tomorrow night when I record shit but yeah I hope you guys had a great Tuesday hope you're healthy

happy hope your family's doing well I don't know I just feel like I always have the perspective and the knowing that there's always someone that has it worse and I and I have that in mind a lot right now in this year and in this time

because I'm so fortunate to even sit here and be able to be tired and just do my passion and this is literally like I don't know why you guys listen like I I listen to podcasts so I do get it but I mean I'm a fucking nerd about podcasts lately actually it's been nice to watch them at home here um with my family we were watching this morning we had Joey Diaz on we had Tom and Christina and Bert my sister and brother like watch that show I'm like I don't even know you knew who these people were what the hell but um it's wild to me how I'm like

I just don't like the fact I have an audience and I'm this fucking loopy and tired and I'm just like and I do this is I don't know it's a dream in a weird way um am I in attention do I need attention. I don't think it's that here. Let me work this out. I feel like I've struggled with, um, like I've told you guys this so many times accomplishing, like completing a goal a hundred percent, like going all in and completing a hundred percent. What happens to me is I get distracted by new ideas and new things and new influencers, new trends and new, um, activities and jobs and all this new shit all the time where I've never put the dart in the target and said, that's what I'm going to do. So I feel like it's not necessarily about me being heard and listened

to. And I just need people to listen and know who I am. I'm confident in myself. I'm confident in my point of view. I'm confident in who I am and where I'm going in this life. Like that's something that's like to my core like an internal knowing that I don't need validation and acceptance from other people like I know it might sound that way and look that way because I'm a content person I put shit out every day but it's more about the um like I know what it's like to hear someone talk about life and it's helpful so it's that like I want to be that person for you and it's also for my, um, my like discipline and my goal setting and my like growth in my, um, you know, my ability to speak and entertain and, um, inform whatever it is I'm doing on this. Like it's setting me up

for life. Like I know it's rocky. It's only what month three. I don't even know what I'm in month for but uh gotta do it every day it's like working out just get on a mic get on a microphone talk it out post it i don't know all right guys that's where that's where i'm gonna end it i hope you had a great tuesday i hope you're happy healthy your family's doing well once again and uh finally i'll plug my stuff real quick uh head over to the apple podcast app and subscribe to the show and leave a review while you're there. That really helps me out. One star if you need to today.

I get it. She was slurring her speech. She said she had a margarita earlier. What the fuck? She's drunk on her podcast. I didn't even mention that. I mean, I did have a margarita earlier. It's the loopy tiredness.

I get it. I'm slurring my speech. It's a lot to do this seven days a week and to being tired is not easy. but uh yeah head over to the apple podcast app to leave a review um helps me out lets people know about the show and then finally the last thing i'm going to say is if this shit isn't enough it's seven days a week on this podcast isn't enough you can head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want more content from me patrons get access to my exclusive content

And then every Friday I shout them out as a thank you on my Friday podcast. So go check it out. Once again, that's patreon.com slash TJMS. All right, guys. Hope you had a great day and I will talk to you tomorrow. All right. Bye.