The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 115- Sundaycast: Sad To Leave WA

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Sunday. It's episode 115. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline happy Sunday welcome back to the show if you're new I'm here 70s a week go ahead and hit that subscribe button on the apple podcast app and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get access to my exclusive patreon only content all right now that that's out of the way guys I don't know what to say right now other than I just cried so hard it's uh 8 13 p.m on a Sunday night currently home alone with the dog. I'm flying out tomorrow morning, bright and early. I have to wake up around like 4 a.m. I think. Yeah, 4. And holy shit. I was like, okay, wait, I have to record my episode.

I need to get to bed soon. I know I just cried and pulled together. The reason why I don't know, I feel like I don't know what to say is like, I'm full of emotions right now and I want to be concise and cohesive. I want, I want this to make sense for you guys. Because obviously I want to go into my day when I did and try to make this fun for you to listen to but basically I cried because I just feel like so effing I don't want to swear so effing grateful for what I have and this whole month home has been so amazing and it hit me like oh my god I'm going home to San Diego and I'm not gonna have this I was like I'm not gonna have my mornings with my family and my hangouts with everyone like it's gone and I know it's not gone forever but like when you're in your own city

doing your own thing it's not easy to go roll over to your mom's house you have to get on a plane you have to make a trip so I'm just like realizing how good I've had it for a month and it made me emotional and then I got emotional about some of the kind of like the shit I said to some people that I don't feel good about and I was just like thinking about what I learned throughout throughout these kind of flare ups. We had a few arguments. I'm not going to say with who, what family members I'm always vague because I don't, it's not important to tell you guys details, but I learned a lot about myself and my relationships. And anyway, so I was thinking about that and feeling kind of like shitty about it. Um, I don't know. I had a great day. Let's talk about it. I woke up at

holy shit it was like four I think um the whole family's doing another moving road trip thing again so they all were road tripping back over the mountains again today I was the one obviously I'm flying out tomorrow so I couldn't go along for for the two days here but they all um my grandpa and grandma were going and my mom and sister left and uh that was like at four in the morning no it wasn't that early I think it was like five and that's still early but anyways I was like on the couch as I've been I've been sleeping there all week uh I've been sleeping there yeah ever since my brother and his girlfriend took over my room yeah um but I woke up to my mom and sister like rolling around the house getting their stuff together and then I was getting emotional

because that's what I knew I was gonna say goodbye to them and then um I literally guys I cried so fucking hard so my grandma and grandpa hugged me goodbye and I cried and then my mom hugged me and I cried I just fucking all I did today sorry to make this episode about how I cried today but like I was a mess I feel like so it's like this gratitude about my family like thank god for them in my life and I just love them so much but it was also the sadness of having to leave don't jocelyn don't ever come home for a month again this is what happens you're gonna have this um this fucking feeling come over you and it sucks maybe i should move home maybe this is the signal jocelyn pack your shit out pack your shit up move out of san diego come back

home to washington do i sound congested i'll be honest i've never so i cried so hard in the dog oh my god thank god for the dog um I was like licking snot off my face I had so I was hard I was crying I was ugly crying alone tonight um by the fireplace I made one last fire here at my mom's house I was like I'm gonna have a nice chill night I've already packed I showered I worked out tonight and I got all my stuff together and I'm like I'm gonna make one last fire sit there and I was watching the Green Bay um who are they playing Green Bay who the hell are they playing Tennessee is that right uh I was gonna watch that game and do that and I ended up sitting there and thinking and crying um shit what was I gonna say though oh the dog was like oh so I

I cry so hard there's so much stuff coming off my face tears not dogs just coming over knew I was crying and kissed me like licked it all up and then sat like just plopped out in my lap on the floor, like, wanted to help me, like, she, not she, it's a guy, Odie knew, he knew I was not feeling well, but, uh, at the, you know, let me flip, let me flip the switch right now, let me flip the switch, crying's over, I felt my, I felt my emotions, I sat with him, as my mom would say, the Native Americans, she always tells me stories about the Natives, and how they, um, I don't even, is that the politically correct thing to say now, Native Americans, I know Indians out, I know I can't say native american native yeah i'm pretty sure that's fine native americans they always say

that you should feel your emotions fully and embrace them instead of trying to suppress them and not feel them so i was like fuck it i'm sitting by i'm sitting by a fire fireplace i got the green bay packers game on uh shout out aaron rogers what the fuck is his touch what his passing to interception ratio is like the best i don't really know what that means but it's the best in the league, and he doesn't age, I don't know what's happening, but he's killing it this year, so I'm sitting there bawling my eyes out, watching football, and that was my night, but let's just get into my day, guys, I want to tell you something positive, on the flip side of all this emo shit, I'm starting to get pepped up, I feel it, I literally wrote the most specific

agenda for this week my first week back home in San Diego and I'm really motivated and stoked about it I'm like I know I'm gonna have this excitement as soon as I land like let's get it Jack let's go let's go hard let's make like let's kill this new year let's you know I don't want to jinx it but I definitely feel like I I've enjoyed my time my relaxation time at home but I really need to get back on the grind and like uh not only like um with my work but physically like get active again because I I sweated tonight hard like I did um I ellipticaled I know don't don't make fun of me but I went on the elliptical in our garage for like an hour and um I realized that I'm my cardio shape is so bad and I'm like god damn it I I'm usually like endurance bunny can run 12

miles, no issues. Like, but so I'm really excited to get back to my fitness grind back, you know, and I should have, you know, here's the thing I'll say about fitness in me. I feel like I never have an issue with that, but for whatever reason, this whole month I've been home, I like never sweat. I just like rolled around and did yoga here and there and like laid on the couch, which is fine. I'm not mad about it, but I'm excited to like be active and like go hard again. Cause I love, I love it. So, um, so I wrote down all my shit to do this week. Um, definitely going to the beach, definitely going on a hike. I really want to live it up there, uh, in the sun and remember why I love it so much. I don't want to go home this week and not enjoy the amazing

weather and the, the, the scene scenery setting, whatever the beach, you know, cause I do miss it. I was looking at pictures on my phone, uh, something I do at the end of every year is like go through the whole year in pictures. And I was seeing all these beach pics. I was like, God damn, I miss it so much. So Odie, do you want food? No. Do you want to go in that room? Do you want to sit on your bed? He's poking at the door. I'm going to miss him so much. He was my rock tonight. He got me through my tears. Where are you going, buddy? Do you need water I'm gonna miss this dog so I've mentioned I told you guys a few months ago what am I in month for I wanted a cat to sit around my apartment with because it's low maintenance

and I like cats and now that I've been around Odie every day he's I'm gonna I need I need to clone him I really think that I'm gonna get a dog within the next six months because I don't know I'm obsessed like I get why people have dogs now I haven't had one like I grew up with golden retrievers and I really haven't had my own dog or been around a dog like this long in like forever so um oh yeah he's drinking water um what else can I say I did today uh I watched the Seahawks go Seahawks what are they NFC champs no West Coast champs something like that uh great game kind of a nail biter. I knew we were going to win. I just, you know, I don't know. I just feel like the Rams, their offense kind of, their defense is, it's great, but their offense at the end,

they were just embarrassing. Uh, so I did that. I, oh, this morning. Oh my God. Let me tell you about my morning. So fucking, I woke up right at like four and said goodbye to them. And I didn't, I went to bed really late, so I didn't get very good sleep. And then I was not tired enough to go back to sleep so I made coffee and I watched Ozark and the sun wasn't even up and it didn't the sun doesn't rise in Washington right now until 8 a.m. which is I was looking at the sunrise in San Diego I'm like wait doesn't it rise like six down there I'm like confused but um yeah so it took forever for the sunrise so I was watching Ozark for like two or three hours waiting for 8 a.m. and it felt like the nighttime like it was really early in the morning I was sort of half

asleep half watching it I don't know it was a weird morning I watched that and then I put on like the football morning show shit all the boys sitting around talk about the games I don't know and I like looked at my laptop and like tried to get my shit together with my uh just like job stuff emails stuff to do this week saw that Trump signed the $600 that stimulus bill that he came out and said uh-uh we got all this foreign affairs shit in it we don't want and let's do $2,000 instead this is a bunch of bullshit well turns out he signed it today so stimulus checks will be rolling out first wave probably beginning of next week on the 4th you know people are saying I'm sure the Democrats are going to say something like he did that.

He did the whole like speech that he was against the $600 and, you know, exposed all the foreign affair stuff in the bill because he was, that's how he was, he like made money for his campaign off of that. Like he sent out something and then it was like asking for donations, whatever. I don't know. People, I'm sure the Democrats will say that. I have no, honestly, I have no clue how anything works, but I'm just kind of interested in why he, like, it's almost like they knew he was going to sign it the whole time. But he did that little stunt, that little speech to help himself for his campaign because he called out voter fraud in that.

He called out the foreign affairs shit and then the $2,000. like he wants it to get so he signed it but he still wants it to get I guess repealed or whatever or amended so we end up actually getting $2,000 I don't know but I saw that today that's like the heavy piece of news I paid attention to um I didn't did I do anything else I think I threw up a pic on Instagram I don't know I do it every day so I'm like it's kind of fun I every day I'm like what should I post you know and I sent a picture on the couch today to my family just like a selfie in a hoodie and then I decided well I'm gonna comp I'm gonna compare and contrast this to a nice picture of myself because I don't know sometimes I get like I I get annoyed by at

myself like okay I'll throw up a nice picture but I feel like I can't take it seriously so you have to swipe over to see a shitty picture to like compare it so you know that I'm just not like oh look at me I look so good and like I'm full of myself like I have to show you looking rough in a hoodie like next to it I don't know it's kind of funny because I compared I said July versus December and July I was like I don't know feeling myself and I was in my kitchen I took a pic whatever so I did that today there's an amber alert hold up snow call me Washington oh shit snow qualmy washington amber alert 2019 silver volkswagen jetta fuck all right i'll keep my eyes out oh i'll keep my eyes peeled out on these country roads for that fucking jetta

that's that's scary i always get scared when there's amber alerts because you know that there's some shit going down there's like a kid involved who's innocent and he's like fucking freaking out right now I mean do you guys ever I I don't Odie come on do you want to sit with me he's perking his ears up go watch football go finish the game and tell me what happens oh my god I I know I sound crazy but I love talking to dogs it's like it puts me my own little I'm like on their level you know I'm like we're communicating I'm your best friend but anyways do you guys ever think too hard sometimes about how at this very moment people are going through fucking hell there's like slavery there's child trafficking there's murder rape like you name it there's just so much

horrible shit going on at all times and I don't know I trip out I trip out about that sometimes because I'm like whoa seven billion people shit's going down somewhere right now um and I guess that's the whole perspective thing like maybe that's why I cry so much is like I today my reality hit me and I'm like whoa I have I have it so fucking good like this is probably the lottery in life I have like I have a family that loves me and supports me and um even when we fight we talk it out and we all kind of come together and um grow and learn together through it and it's not this you know bad vibe like we can't ever see each other you know I don't want to be a I don't want to like excommunicate and never see my family again because we had to fight you know we always

work it out so that's really awesome um we're all healthy we're all doing cool shit um like my brother is at the zoo today over in St. Louis I'm like live your I'm like live your life Rob like do your thing he's having a fun time um I don't know I don't really know what else to say I didn't do much other than oh wait I put together my brother's Christmas present today and I did the best I could with because here's here's what I'll say I took Odie's paw prints and I spelled out something on a giant poster and I like framed it with a nice black frame with glass and unfortunately Odie isn't very artistic so it doesn't really like it's hard to tell what the word says but I kind of like that because it almost looks like an abstract painting so I put it together

today because I had to dry and yeah I did that um I set it up so when he comes home it's like sitting on display um I packed I don't think I you know I thought I was going to take a bunch of shit home like I collected like random clothes for my mom and Christmas presents and stuff but I'm really I don't I don't really have that much stuff to bring back and usually I go through oh wait do I have pictures hold up where are the pictures at they might have gotten packed away I don't know if I want to take pictures I had all the um my grandma dropped off a huge bin full of childhood pictures of my siblings and I and then my mom and like her little kid pics and like her report cards her newspaper articles that she was in all of her life like basically it's

like the like my grandma wrote Jodi my mom this is your life and she like put that on top and so you open the bucket of stuff and it's like pictures and so whatever I was gonna take some that back to San Diego because mom's like yeah if you want to take some pics of you or but I think I'm cool just I took pictures with my phone I think I'm fine with that I don't need a physical picture I don't know it's kind of nice though to have like mementos from home like actual artifacts I don't know I think I officially drank all the LaCroix's here what's in this cupboard no I think we're down to ginger ale nothing else sparkling wow guys in conclusion let me just go into this because I really want to end the podcast and have a good night's sleep because I gotta wake

up early this was one of so this trip home was the best trip home I've ever had since I've been an adult moved move like who's moved away from family like this was the best one because I feel like I was well being home for a month is nice because you can really like hang out and be here and settled settle into it but I just feel like I was in a really good place when I came here and I feel like everyone has grown up and we're all just kind of I don't know we're just adults it's like fun to be older when you come home I don't know I don't know how to explain it um I just had really great conversations laughed a ton that's probably what I'm gonna miss the most is the the jackass laughter just like me my mom my sister going around town doing shit laughing

making jokes sitting at home making jokes like that's what I'll probably miss the most um I sound so congested because I cried um fuck I'm glad I don't think I really cried on this episode though I started to a little bit but I don't think I actually did it but yeah I'm gonna miss the laughter and the fun and the hangout sessions and just like my mom's food I'm like so fooded out I feel like today was the last I was like I can't I don't even nothing is good anymore I'm like no amount of pie ice cream hors d'oeuvres crackers cheese like I don't want anything I want to I want to go one week of nothing but leaves and green juice and fucking smoothies I don't know I feel bad because my mom we all went grocery shopping for Christmas and

stuff and I picked up these giant buckets of like what I make salads with all the time but we never used them and I feel like, what was that? Odie! Literally something just dropped. Was that my charger? Guys, this house is haunted. I swear to God. Something just like clicked. Did you hear that? Uh, I'm tripping out. Was that my, hold on. Was that my head, my headphone? Odie, did you just make a noise I'm home alone in this haunted house all right I think that's a signal I should stop this I don't know was this episode good episode 115 you know I do it every day so you're gonna get all all angles all flavors what are you looking at someone in there is there a ghost in there shit anyways you're gonna get all kinds of shit from me today I cried I told you about it

and uh I don't know I did it I fucking post I'm posting this and that's the best I can do so hope you had a great day I hope your team's won I mean it's coming down to like the final weeks of football uh my team won go Seahawks shout out Pete Carroll uh just he's a great coach I feel like he's just got the best um he you can just tell all he's good energy all around like he's a he's not an asshole coach like he's just a good I feel like Russell too is like a really positive like they're good I don't know whatever okay so happy Sunday I will talk to you guys tomorrow I'll be back in San Diego um I don't know if I should say that look I'll be honest I've been hit up over this month of like when are you going back to San Diego when are you going back to San

Diego I'm like I just like don't want to tell people that I'm going back but I have to tell you guys I feel like the podcast listeners I don't give a fuck if you know but for certain people in San Diego I'm like I don't want to see you I don't want to hang out like okay I'm being annoying because I'm saying when I go back I want to be social and go out and do shit again like it's not 2020 fucking have a social life again so that's all true but I think I'm just triggered because it's like specific people that I'm like, I don't want to see you. Anyways. Okay. So that's the end. Um, it's always awkward to end a podcast. Should I look at my DMs? I don't know. So I used to do that at the end of the shows. I'd read DMs. Um, I don't have much going on. I feel like a lot

of people are just like off their phones with family this weekend. Um, all right. Love you guys. Have a great day, night, whenever you're listening to this and I will talk to you tomorrow. All right. Bye.