The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 13- The Royal Shaft

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Just listen to it lol I can't remember what I talked about. Patreon.com/tjms - take a browse and don't make fun of me. Happy Wednesday!! :)

what's up guys episode 13 wow thank you thank you all right guys welcome back to the show but you need to stop all right stop all right that's enough um just trying to have fun episode 13 working with my sound effects um dude let's get this party started episode 13 i'm a teenager now i'm a teenager and I'm feel is this what it feels like to be America's sweetheart I feel like I don't know uh I feel like now at episode 13 I'm gonna start saying stuff that um like the new kids aren't gonna know about for my past episodes I just it's crazy I'm in the I'm in the teenage years now I'm in the I'm in the teens of my episodes dude when we hit triple

digits oh my god it's crazy I'm gonna be hitting 100 in January so let's have a sip of coffee okay I'm feeling like this is gonna be a great episode it's gonna be a great episode I said I say that every episode but um dude I get to do what I love and I get to talk about whatever I want and I wrote some notes down of like topics that I want to cover um I don't know uh let's talk about the last 24 hours my update I do this every podcast like I said some people aren't gonna know what the hell I'm talking about I repeat myself from past episodes and you might be confused but um just go listen to the old ones I do a 24-hour update every day because I do a daily podcast now and yeah dude okay I was okay before I get into my update it's come to my

attention that I might have vocal fry vocal fry like the sound of my voice like I could if I try really hard I can pull my shit together and be like hi guys so welcome back to the podcast and like sound more like I don't know nice whatever fuck it this is honestly this is pillow talk we're in love this is pillow talk uh this is how I sound when I roll over in the morning and that's what you're getting so but I I looked up vocal fry um because it came to my attention that like I might have it uh let me hold on I'm on google vocal fry dude it's the vulc it says on the search the vocal fry register is the lowest vocal register and is produced through a loose glottal closure that permits air to bubble through slowly with a popping or rattling sound

very low frequency so yeah I guess it's like my low pitch fry I feel like vocal fry would be like right like that whatever pillow talk that's how this podcast is man we're just hanging out I'm rolling over on the pillow I took the garbage out this morning let's talk about the 24-hour update I took the garbage out this morning and dude I have to talk about my neighbor who gave me a lecture about recycling a few weeks ago okay sometimes I let people win the conversation I'm like I don't want to debate take a take over take care of it you're right like the older I get the more I realized like, I just let people have it. I roll over and I'm like, just whatever. So

I took out the garbage this morning. This is my 24 hour update. And, um, the other week, my neighbor and her mom were like getting their bikes ready outside by the dumpster. And I had, okay, I had some Amazon boxes and I'll be honest, they were for the recycling bin, but I didn't remember the passcode on the recycling bin so I just just I just threw it all in there and she saw me do that and two garbage bags and then I had the Amazon boxes and she goes oh do you want me to help you recycle those do you want me to do that and I just froze because I had like music playing because I was jump roping that morning and I could barely hear so I did the whole like airpod oh sorry what like I couldn't hear and anyways I was just like she's like oh

do you want me to do you want me to uh do you want me to help you recycle that and she literally I was like oh sure like oh I was like yeah go ahead like I act I acted so fucking confused that I put the two cardboard boxes in the in the in the garbage bin and not the recycling and I watched her well I walked away but you know I knew in the back of my head like if I turned around she was well I watched her like open it she reached in that fucking garbage can dumpster thing and pulled out my recycling proceeded to um put it in the recycling and anyway so this morning I was like I was nervous I'm like dude I have this one dude I heard somewhere that China's not accepting a recycling so it's getting put in the waste management section of the world it's but the

recycling is going into the garbage pile anyways so I don't know what the fuck's going on but this morning I will be honest I I'm confessing my sins right now I feel like I'm talking to a priest um which is a story I do want to tell someone asked about my experience in Rome and I want to talk about sitting in confession at the Vatican but this morning I did have telling the truth right now I had a I had a gallon jug that was totally plastic and totally ready to be recycled and I kind of hid it behind my garbage bag as I walked to the dumpster because she can see the dumpster out her window and I'm nervous so I put it all in the garbage can fuck anyways I'm going to hell but that's why I wanted okay so someone dm'd me the other day I'm probably gonna read

some dms today but a couple days ago guy dm'd me he's like talk about Rome you said you said you went to Rome on the podcast never said it never said it you guys can cross check and fact check that I don't think I ever oh my god you guys I want you to be my fact checkers fucking I want an official fact checking committee for this podcast we're gonna get into that I like started a patreon and I want to build this little online community center and I want you guys to feel like you're a part of something but anyways the guy DM me he's like yeah you talked about Rome but I was thinking about it and if I was my little shithead self back in the day when I was at the Vatican on my youth group trip if I was at the Vatican because I went to confession they have these

little booths set up on the side of like the um the runway the fucking runway the you know how there's pews on each side of a church that's what they're called the benches well then on the side of that the Vatican is okay first of all the Vatican it it it's yeah it's so beautiful it's out of this world I've never like first of all all of Europe is just better architecturally but it is so beautiful inside the Vatican it is so beautiful anyways I'm uh on the side of the pews so you got the runway in the middle you're walking down the aisle it's like think of about a wedding I don't know if you're religious but if you can imagine a church the sides have these booths like these little phone booths you get in and you talk to a priest and I feel like they're just camping

out there all day because there's tourists and everything coming in and out. Maybe they have a little light that turns on like they're available. But I was thinking about if I was my little shithead self back in high school, like I am now, I would have fucked with a priest. Okay. First of all, this is messed up, so I shouldn't say this, but I feel like now I would go into that little booth and confess like fucking like sex before marriage or like fucking murder or something like something really bad and see how many prayers I would have to do after it because typically it'd be like oh yeah I was really mean like when I was in confession I used to say to the priest it was so it was so awkward first of all if you've ever been to confession I went to Catholic

school I was at church a lot as a kid and it's just awkward and I remember like telling the priest I would rehearse it in my head before I'd go in because I'm like I don't know like I don't know it was very it was hard I wasn't just it wasn't like talking to a therapist I came prepared I wasn't just saying what came to my head anyways I would say stuff like oh I was mean to my sister and I told my brother to fuck off or something and then I would say like three Hail Marys and then two Our Fathers and an Apostles Creed or something then you go back to the little bench and you say your prayers and then the Lord has forgiven you and I think that's how it works so I was thinking about if I was my shithead self now and I fucking went to the Vatican like I like

I was like when I was there I should have said something really bad to see I bet I'd have to say a thousand our fathers or something or maybe what they do is they're just like uh they like your um what's the word maybe they suggest like you got to get rebaptized right now if you confess murder like they take you like a committee of elves no fucking committee of deacons what are they called a committee of priests I just think of like 12 people come and gather you and then they take you somewhere and then they like I don't know dude the church is strange there's a lot of weird traditions and rituals that I remember like I don't know so um why did I say that oh someone asked about oh I lied I was I lied to my um oh I was confessing that I should have put

something in the recycling this morning um okay 24-hour update let's stay on task yes I'm drinking coffee I'm feeling so good guys I'm feeling so good I put my little pumpkin syrup I got at home Goods the other day. Put my little pumpkin syrup in it. I know I'm doing my body a disservice because here's my 24 hour update. I went to the gym this morning, right? And I cut it short, but I drank four heaping tablespoons of my instant coffee like on the way to the gym. And then now I just had two more heaping tablespoons. A serving is a teaspoon. So yeah. Anyways, I'm doing my body to service I should have eaten breakfast but you know me I get too fucking excited to podcast um uh okay 24-hour update let's start with my oh outfit of the day then I'm gonna tell you what

I did kind of okay out for the day I'm wearing my XL maverick clothing shop maverickclothing.com or whatever the hell the website is I'm plugging it right now dude I like Logan Paul I like what he's doing I like where he's going and I like his merch or his his excuse me it's not his merch this is the nicest clothing company in the world in the world according to him anyways I'm wearing an XL maverick clothing first generation first edition drop whatever t-shirt no pants I got these yoga uh aloe yoga no lululemon yoga shorts but they fit like underwear because I got a dump truck in the back and I just that's what that's what it is right now okay that's what it is um hair's putting a little braid and I finally brushed it this morning I went two days

without brushing it sat in a messy bun haven't worn makeup in probably a month and a half um that's what's up oh perfume because we're dating you guys want to know what I smell like uh my perfume is la via bell la via la via bell I think it's long comb la via bell oh did I get a new subscriber on YouTube dude I just got a bell notification oh someone asked me on a video how tall are you dude I'm five six but yeah subscribe to my YouTube channel I'm dropping my video podcast next month anyways I'm on the internet I was gonna search something and then I forgot. This is like when you walk into a room and you forget why you went in there. This is what happens to me on the internet every day. Every day. Wait. Oh, perfume. I was going to look up

Lancôme La Vie Est Belle. This is going to be a two-hour podcast. You can feel it. That's okay. You guys are welcome to listen to this in two different days. Like split it up. La Vie Est Belle. That's my perfume today. So if you want to go sniff that at your local Nordstrom cosmetic section to get a gist of what I smell like. Go for it. Oh, by the way, my Maverick clothing t-shirt, I, like, never wash because I wear, it's my house shirt, you know what I mean? Like, it's my big oversized tee. This morning when I put it on, I was, like, this is, like, my scent. Like, my natural, it, because I wear it every day, it's starting to get my like what I smell like ingrained in it or whatever like saturated my my natural pheromones

are saturated in it at this point and I was like dang I actually like I'm attracted to myself so that's good that's positive right like liking your own scent I feel like there's nothing worse than when you're about to date someone or you're like you know oh shit my microphone's fucked up sorry if the audio is not good um dude when you start to get really close to them like you know like close if you know what I'm talking about and you don't like the way their body smells it's that's such a weird thing and I pay attention to that now like at first when I was starting to you know date people and whatnot I like didn't really know about that but now I'm like it's intoxicating as fuck when your partner smells good anyways I'm talking about my scent dude you know

what I was thinking about I know I told you guys I started a patreon because I'm starting a I'm starting to take this seriously I'm starting to try to be like you know I need to talk slower it's caffeine sorry uh I'm starting to take this seriously like Jacqueline you love this you feel so excited to do this every day you are never gonna stop and you need to be like the people need you the people need you so anyways I started Patreon why was I saying this oh I thought it'd be funny if I like I don't know in like a few years when I'm like sort of a thing I don't know I just assume like if I do this every day for I have no I have no like objective really with the podcast but I'm just assuming like if you do something every single day and

people start to tune in every day, and they start telling their friends, like, yeah, I listen to this chick, and it gets me through it, I don't know, I don't know what you tell your friends, I tell my friends, well, I don't have very many, but I talk to people about the podcast I listen to all the time, so feel free to share this shit, post a little screenshot on your story, and say, like, oh my god, she just started this podcast, and anyways, I was thinking about, on my Patreon, on I could auction off my clothing is that weird you know how celebrities do that or like I could like I could you guys could like win a shirt like instead of doing merch I would just like I literally want to give away my clothing sorry that was coffee it's probably the chemicals from

the pumpkin syrup that fucking went in my mouth dude am I a star I feel like a star if I had this much confidence back in the day I used to do acting as a kid like you know little plays for my local theater I think I'd be decent at acting now because I don't I'm like my shyness has left the building it's like it's completely out of here but I wonder how this will translate in person with people like I can pull my shit together alone and do this and feel so confident episode 13 I'm feeling like I'm just I can't be touched I'm America's sweetheart right now that's how I feel um like this is my I don't know I'm thinking like Shirley Temple dude someone made a great point about Shirley Temple back in the day how she was like always with older men like

I don't know it's weird when you watch Shirley Temple now it just didn't age well um all right let's talk about my 24-hour update so I was at my local Valero gas station this morning and because you know I got in the car all ready to go to the to the gym and gas light on I swear to god I just gassed up a week ago but uh whatever I'm at my local Valero pumping my gas and wouldn't you know it wouldn't you fucking know it this motherfucking gas station was playing tiktok videos while I was waiting for my gas this thing had a screen this thing this gas station pump thing how to screen playing TikTok videos so I just had to mention that because it was I was just like are you fucking kidding me it was like these are the most it was like the most

popular TikToks right now so I appreciate that it kept me entertained but I was like because you know when you're standing at the gas there's no that's like I don't know it's such a I don't take my phone okay I don't want to talk about my gas station routine but when I pump gas I just stay I it's the most present I am as a person like I am I have one task I'm pumping I'm pumping pumping my car up with chemicals and fuel or whatever it's called gasoline petrol I love how the British British people call it the petrol station anyways I am present as fuck because I'm just there to do that complete the task I don't take my phone off there so I do appreciate them kind of entertaining me with their TikTok videos while I wait anyways I went to the gas

station. Um, didn't see the hot man on the corner today, but a couple of days ago, I saw the love of my life down in little Italy. Uh, just, you know, waiting to cross the street. Let's see, what else is it? My 24 hour update. I took a, why can't I think right now? Oh fuck. Okay. I went to the gym obviously but uh I wore the wrong bra today I it's this week is when I'm so I don't know like if I should I always say I don't want to talk about like this kind of shit but anyways it's gonna be that time of the month if you know what I'm talking about my my boob boobs boobs they're sore as fuck and I wore the wrong bra today I wore just my Calvin incline cotton bra. Like I just threw it. It was the, it was the one on the top of my drawer when

I was changing this morning. So I was like, all right, I'll just wear this, whatever. And again, I couldn't do my hardcore. Like I was going to do some sprints and run hard today. And I couldn't because I was in pain. But yeah, that's such a weird thing. It's kind of new how sensitive the breasts are. Like gaining weight has made me realize like, wait a minute. So the positives in this is that my tits grew like bigger than they've ever been before, but now I'm in 10 times more pain when I'm like running and stuff anyways. So I wore the wrong bra and then I was thinking about it. So, oh shit. Okay. Okay. Speaking of the gym, I got a DM from a girl yesterday. She's a new girl. I haven't heard, heard from her. Um, she finally broke the ice and DM me, which is kind of cool

to see I love it when I love it when you girls DM me like more girls please DM me like I want to have like tons of like I want this to be not to call this a girl gang but you guys I want to have a competition with the boys like we need more girls listening to this shit and like DMing me and interacting anyway she asked me she's like how the fuck do you not wear a thong under your um your yoga pants like like what the fuck and I'm like because I said the other on the other podcast like girls don't double wrap your vagina like let it let it fucking breathe we can see your panty line like do not wear a thong and I don't know she thought that was like insane but anyways okay dude when I'm at the gym now the thing is with the mask is that it's starting to give me

this sensation of when you get water up your nose when you're swimming like if you've ever done a flip turn while I was in swim team so I can say this but like when you get water up your nose okay let me just let you sit with that for a second let's have a moment of silence let's imagine water is up your nose is that not the worst fucking feeling ever like it stings especially if it's chlorinated water anyways I'm at the gym now and I'm starting to notice that whatever breathing technique I'm working on right now, like I'm, I'm doing, um, it's making me feel like I have water up my nose and because of my mask, does that make sense? There's some condense extra condensation and I'm inhaling my own, um, fluids. This podcast sucks, dude. Is this why you

tune in? I don't know. Like I said yesterday, I'm not trying to solve the world issues with this podcast I'm just trying to this is my verbal diary of my day so fuck but like oh on top of that on top of that my fucking mask tasted like mrs meyer's basil dish soap because every day after I work out dude I have like one quality mask that I'm rotating so I wash it with mrs meyer's basil soap and so it tastes kind of basil-y and soapy so it's kind of like I'm getting water and soap up my nose every time I work out whatever dude so this morning I went to Valero got got my gas went to the gym uh fucking I cut it short to podcast this is why I know I found my passion I cut out 30 extra minutes of my typical hour-long wake up get the juices flowing cardio session

because I'm gonna go back and lift tonight I'm on that two-a-day shit right now I'm feeling it I'm feeling it I'm feeling like you know finally that gym's open I gotta make up for lost time anyways I cut out my 30 extra I cut 30 extra minutes out today excuse me glitching um neighbors heard that definitely embarrassed um anyways I cut it short because I after 30 minutes I was just itching to fucking podcast dude I have this is podcasting is perfect for me because like I have endless ideas it's it's stupid I got anxiety a little anxiety about doing the podcast today because last night I didn't have a note full of stuff to talk about because every day I'll produce a note of random

thoughts I have to talk about but I know like I'm at the gym I'm on the treadmill I'm just like jotting shit down, like, this is why it's gonna be a two-hour podcast, I produced a fucking note that probably would take me 30 seconds to scroll through, in fact, I haven't referred to it yet today, um, but I'm looking right now, yeah, this bitch is long, it's a fucking, uh, dude, I'm JK rolling, I'm JK rolling, those Harry Potter books used to intimidate me how long they were, but now I'm doing, I'm literally making, sipping coffee, I'm literally making notes in my phone every day that long um but yeah that's why I feel like this podcast shit's good for me because I never my ideas are endless and I feel like the reason why I don't know just like getting into your head

right now because we have this really nice relationship because we're dating and I don't know I just feel like I know you kind of but I feel like the reason why you might be tuning in is because like I'm really good at like giving you guys specific details and like like the more specific I get with shit I think the more interesting it is to listen to and that keeps you entertained dude if I was like this is what sucks about Gen Z Gen Z is lacking adjectives they're lacking in the adjective department they have these you know these new slang terms you know like fucking dude I'm gonna rattle off some slang uh Gen Z fuck what I mean by that is like they all are using the same slang and it's limiting where

I try to be different because I'm literally like my therapist I need to talk a little more about this is I have this personality trait that's like I don't want to be like everyone else or this thing about me where I'm afraid to be like everyone else and sound like everyone else so like all of Gen Z is fucking like let me think right now fucking what's their dude Gen Z's adjective the common words they use are like well I use them too I can't say I don't use these but like they're all saying lit they're like their adjectives um oh my god I'm so obsessed what if I just sat on this podcast and every other sentence was I'm so obsessed and you guys oh fucking cap that's cap like when you're lying that's another one vibey

that's uh oh like low-key on fleek fucking iconic dude what other adjectives are there I should like look this up I bet there's this fucking wait gen z fucking like chill dude i burped three times exit out one star review please leave you the door is open okay first of all in the podcast the door is always unlocked there's always an exit you're welcome to leave at any time and i invite you so i will volunteer that for like that all I'll make the decision decision for you throughout these podcasts when I feel like I have completely disgusted you to the point where it's time for you to go so if you're struggling like I don't

know maybe I should give her a second chance maybe she won't burp again I'll just help you out and say that was the third burp of the podcast doors wide open dude I got French doors on this bitch French fucking doors wide open ready for you and there's a little summer breeze outside what am I talking about that slaps anyways I feel like my adjectives I want to like dude I think what it is is that everyone there's so many I see so many like tiktok videos now and people on the gram and everyone has like the same lingo the whole like I want to be different shit is like me bringing back the fucking like 1950s slang like fucking calling you guys knuckleheads you guys are my knuckleheads you little fucking knuckleheads

knuckle sandwich they said knuckle fucking sandwich back in the day dude I'm gonna google fuck let me go on here right now I I don't have an assistant but I'm gonna google 1950s how are you guys doing do we need to do a seventh inning stretch yet what is this baseball seventh inning stretch should i keep bringing up only the people sorry i'm in the teenage years episode 13 i'm saying stuff you might not understand if you're new uh but every episode there's a time when i tell everyone to do a seventh inning stretch anyways let's do 1950s slang bring that shit up dude okay they what they say okay so booty i'm reading so let me start with a the chariot the chariot so car they would call like in the 50s cars were chariots the chariot

dude they sounded like they had an accent back in the day too if you watch old movies I'm picking my nose dude now time to leave that was it you didn't see that see that's the thing I gotta cut this shit out for the video podcast launching on October 1st because I just picked my nose and that's not okay. I'm going to sit on my hands, but I do like, is this a, should I check for coronavirus again? I also do that on every podcast. That's not a thing. Like if you're congested, I don't feel like that's Corona. I think if it's, if you're short of breath, that's an issue. All right. 1950 slang. Um, dude, nifty. That's a good one. Nifty bitchin oh my god they said bitchin is a really good time they said booty bet you didn't know

that the word was part that this word was part of the 1950s slang the word booty meant the buttocks back then as well the buttocks i don't know i'm just bringing this up because i think we need some new adjectives gen z does they they're they're all using the same ones and then the millennials are they're recruiting the millennials millennials are saying it too and i just i'm getting over it I'm like dude how many more fucking times can we stay lit and fuck fire that's fire dude this podcast is fire it's fire that's I mean they're good they're good they honestly like maybe I'm just I don't know wait I'm scrolling what's another one dude the royal shaft okay wait excuse me the royal shaft literally a slang term from the 50s to be unfairly treated

or put off oh like giving you the royal shaft like when you get the shaft I don't know if that's a anyways the royal shaft dude the royal shaft that's gonna be the title of this episode oh my god that's the title of this episode fuck dude I love titling episodes the royal shaft so you guys if you if you listen to the podcast you'll know what I'm talking about but people just flicking through their iTunes they don't know what the fuck that is they're gonna be like Dude, is she talking about the shaft I'm thinking about? Sip of my coffee. Fourth burp of the podcast.

For those that already left, you did right. For those that are staying around, let's get married. If you're okay with that, if you're okay with a fourth burp and me talking about, and me having vocal fry, my vocal fry voice, then dude propose to me in the dms please anyways um here's the thing I don't really have a focus on this episode like I do on every episode I just have random ideas I just told you my 24-hour update what else I talk about uh my neighbor my recycling uh that I'm gonna be good at podcasting because I have endless ideas and I have crazy descriptive

sentences that keep you guys entertained I think I guess and I'm working on incorporating more adjectives in the conversation more because here's the thing when you're here's the thing when you're listening to a podcast it's all mental it's all mental dude life that's the that's the thing about life too it's all mental so sit with that let's have a moment of silence for that right take that down on a note shout out stevie shout out stevie emerson my fucking favorite person of all time on instagram go look at slappers only only tv on instagram excuse me uh he has a sign that he makes sketch comedy videos and stuff but they're like next fucking level just go watch them maybe some of you follow him but anyways he has a sign that he's had

forever i think since college in purple writing like and he literally just took a marker on a poster board and wrote it's all mental and uh that sat with me I'm like yeah that's pretty much how life is like it's everything is a choice dude winners win g easy winners win what song is that taiga taiga oh my god that's such a good song winners win he says that that's my favorite line in that taiga song dude that song is bang dude bang oh my god wait genius.com rap lyrics let's look them up dude I gotta stay on task fuck I was gonna talk about something I don't know this is what happens dude hi ADHD undiagnosed adult ADHD I told my mom that I think I have it and I think she didn't know what to do she went cross-eyed um dude bang g-easy g-easy uh it's a great music

video too they're wearing like basketball jerseys and anyways oh winners win oh it's all mental life is game or no it's all mental i was going somewhere with that am i still recording dude adhd is popping off right now i think it's this these chemicals and this pumpkin syrup are you guys is this what you're tuning in for i just assume like i gotta keep it flowing oh shit i was talking about something i'm on these lyrics right now sorry oh i was maybe gonna check out my phone the note like I said before you're welcome to listen to this in two days because it's probably gonna be two hours and hang in there hang in there stay with me stay with me dude stick it out buck up

stick this shit out push yourself stay entertained if you're not entertained right now you need to go sit down and have a little uh self-reflection time because there's something going there's something wrong with you and also i said this yesterday if you're dude it if you held your shit together in 2020 i'm terrified of you fucking afraid of you and if you're not entertained right now i don't get it so anyways hang in there taiga g easy where's the part where he says winners win a baby i'm a big dog baby rocking big james and anita super freak like rick james pop that ass for my baby make that shit bang bang bang make that shit bang bang do you guys know what song i'm talking

about this is a song of the day yesterday or the day before i can't remember i do a podcast every day so I said go listen to fucking Wiz Khalifa fuck what song was it oh Taylor Gang dude Taylor Gang Taylor Gang that was a song of the day today's song of the day is Bang Tyga G-Eazy dude he says winners win somewhere in here I just gotta I just gotta see it dude this is how this is my ego I'm like I have to prove it to myself that I just pulled a song out of my ass and remembered a lyric from G-Eazy and it's actually in the lyrics and I actually did that right because I got fucking fact checkers on my ass right now because I told you guys to be my fact checkers and if you're gonna you're I don't want you guys I don't want you to catch me slipping

you guys have already caught me slipping four times because I burped and I don't want you catching me slipping that I said a rap lyric that wasn't correct dude G-Eazy yeah talk to me nicely 850 on the chain oh my god i'm surprised mom she's spanish she keep it spicy dude he says winners win i gotta find it i'm just gonna type winners win g easy into google and see what the fuck comes up who's in who's bored winners win g easy god i gotta piss dude i'm gonna win this i'm a winner dude winning is a choice that's really how it is winning is a fucking choice it's all mental and winning is a choice the people that win in this world choose I made a choice I feel like a winner right now because I made a choice to do a podcast

every day and I'm fucking sticking to it I'm following through and I struggled with this in the past and I'm very proud of myself I do feel like a winner gotta toot my own horn I gotta have confidence you guys need me you guys need me to show up every day I have to have that confidence so I have to tell myself that this whole podcast is one giant therapy session with myself and I have to work on telling myself nice things, but I'm feeling like a winner. Dude. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, shit. Dude. Sorry, neighbors. That was loud. Dude. What was that noise? I found it. I found it. Okay. Dude, of course. Tyga and G-Eazy. I'm a baller, baby. He ain't got no game winners win I'm a big dog baby rocking big chains okay found it dude what part of the

song is that that's the second course second course tag ng easy bang go listen to it song of the day this is getting lit if you didn't tune out from listening to my burps and you're still here I think you're happy you stuck around that was a good section except for that disgusting noise I made dude all right so um the royal shaft the royal shaft dude favorite episode of all time this is the this is you guys are in my dream this is my dream career I'm fucking sending it right now dude you know who also sends it I know I like talking about my past childhood stories because I think it helps it makes this podcast feel comfy and like it makes you remember your own past so I think I'm going to tell you

guys more stories like I was thinking about how there's a lack of farm farming content in the podcast universe and since I always mention growing up around farms I think that's a good segment to include in each podcast but I feel like if I talk about my childhood it's like it's good for you guys it's good to reminisce I love I fucking love reminiscing and I think that's what's making my mental health really good right now as I talk about it every day but anyways dude the fucking people out there that send it the most are there's like that one kid in choir that always like the one thing of a specific girl but I remember in choir this girl would send it so hard you she was the only one you heard

she her her the whole point of her singing was to drown out every single other person in the choir and I'll give it to her I mean I'm pretty sure she went and had a singing career she's like fuck y'all I'm gonna I'm gonna show everyone I'm gonna give everyone I'm gonna do everyone a solid and drown you out because my voice is the one that you know it's it's the best one here anyways I feel like try hard kids in choir were like the biggest senders of all time dude singing and I've talked about church kind of a lot sort of on this episode while I talk about the Vatican, but fucking choir and singing in church. I'll never forget like the age where I was just like, I'm done with this. I can't, I feel embarrassed. That was probably like sixth

grade. I was like, I'm not singing in church anymore. Cause it got, it was at the point, like when I was a little kid, I, you belted out the, the songs in church. And I think now like my no fuck self, my fucking, uh, shithead self now would probably fuck with everyone in church and be like that girl in choir and just scream singing or sing the lyrics so loud. Now, if I went to church just for fun, I just, like I said, I'm a shithead. I'm in this phase of like, I kind of like fucking people because it's fun. I feel like I've lost a lot of years of being a, I don't know just having fun I love myself dude I love someone asked me like how are you I I this was like a question I answered in such an eloquent way on my Q&A on my Instagram from like two years ago

I think but someone had asked me like because I post a lot of light-hearted funny shit on my story someone asked me like how are you so funny and happy all the time dude I'm gonna take a drink of water. Those listening to the podcast right now would be like, Jacqueline has a lot of mental health issues and she's actually really depressed all the time. So those, the people who smile the most are always the saddest. That's a quote. But anyways, I feel like in general, when I'm really feeling it and I'm having a great time, I, the thing I wrote back is that I wake up and I like who I am. I wake up and I like who I am. I feel like that was a really, I mean, not to like throw the writing shit at you, but I feel like I have a way with words. I do have a way with words. I'm

self-aware. And I think that was well said. Cause I do think that liking yourself is like the key to happiness. It's just about having no inhibitions and like being just, just like, I don't know. anyways, um, dude, I've been losing my shit over this TikTok guy, um, my sanity has left the building, uh, fucking, this TikTok guy does, I should look up his account, but I don't want to go on TikTok, and, like, it'll instantly play something and be annoying, and I have to skip the ad what's his name oh go to my liked videos joseph joseph jeno jose no jesse joseph just look up jesse joseph anyways he does these he's like I need answers to these questions and he's I'm losing my shit because he asked questions like um I fucking wrote it on my note here because I was

like whoa I just I'm malfunctioning trying to think of this the question he asked that freaked me out was like what if a room full of mirrors what would a room full of mirrors look like if there was there was nothing in the room to create a reflection moment of silence what if what would a room of mirrors look like if there was nothing in the room to create a reflection I'm hurting dude that question so anyways he does questions like that another one I wrote down here is how far up DuPont people wash their face? Great question. I need a sip of coffee. Um, yeah, TikTok. TikTok though. My daily use has definitely dropped. I said yes, yesterday. Yesterday I said that I've only really been on TikTok for like 15 minutes a day. So

I'm proud of myself um dude how about that fucking uh dude I okay okay time out blow the whistle ref blow the blow the whistle on Jacqueline time out I'm putting the tea up right now if you are on the video podcast which will be launching next month October 1st you would see that I'm doing the timeout sign the universal timeout sign got my palm facing down on my left hand I got my right hand doing a perpendicular motion into the middle of my palm and I'm doing a timeout on myself right now because dude check this out how many more times can I friend zone the fuck out of you guys and call you dude I'll wait

I need to stop dude is a default word like like it just comes out and I'm sorry that I friend zoned you and I'm saying dude so many times but this is the seventh inning stretch and this is actually like a let's have a meditation if we're um gonna continue listening or not because i get it um the royal shaft episode i'm friend zoning you guys i just like talked so when you want to know your audience and you're like building your brand or whatever you're always you always want to talk to us like you want to have a specific person in mind there's two specific people I'm talking to okay you guys are Siamese twins you're connected at the head this is how I visualize who I'm talking to on my

podcast the Siamese twin on the right side of the body is like a guy I'm dating and then the left side is a girl I'm best friends with does that make sense so like I it's hard because I'm like bffs and then I'm like trying to be appealing to the male over here and not be like friend zoning him every two seconds and saying dude so anyways something stretches over um please leave a five-star review and uh subscribe to my youtube channel for the October 1st launch of my video podcast dude life update 24 hour update didn't really finish I don't know um working on the studio here I got my fucking um soundproof getting delivered I get my first delivery tomorrow second delivery is coming at the end of this month so that means it's going to be

really quiet in here and man bun's doing his workout outside hi man bun is like dude what it. Oh, sorry. Um, I should interview him on this podcast. He doesn't, I wonder if he knows I'm talking about him right now. You know what I mean? He's always outside working out that couple, but I wonder if, like, if he ever finds out that I'm talking about him, if he thinks it's, if he knows it's him. So anyways, my studio, I asked you guys what color I should get for my soundproof. Um, because I want it to look really like Kanye in here and futuristic and like, oh, it's 2020. I'm watching a YouTube video, but it's not like every other beauty guru's background or like nice, pristine, clean shit. It's like cool looking. You know what I'm saying?

So fifth burp of the podcast, fifth burp of the podcast. Um, I was like, okay, I'm going to get soundproof as my background, which is so, so unique and so quirky and different. No one's ever done that before. For sure. No one has done that before. Um, fact check that you can go and check. Um, I've checked everything online myself and I can confirm no one's ever done a soundproof background. So anyways, I was like, what color should I get? I asked you guys between black, pink, and white. And do I want to make it a surprise? I kind of do. So I'm going to keep it to myself. That'll be to be determined. And you're going to have to find out the color of my soundproof on the YouTube video on October. Is anyone even listening at this point? Is this

podcast too long? Is it going to be two hours? Dude. Okay. Sorry for calling you, dude. Oh, man bun they're getting really close over here yeah really pretty dogs um how do people have big dogs in small apartments question the day question of my life i don't understand it life life update 24 hour update 24 hour update i was looking at cats yesterday and i can't find a cat so still working on that looking at so many cats i'm looking at dogs now okay going to my note i i was gonna read a couple passages out of my notebook but i feel like if i do that it's gonna get too deep and this podcast has been fun so far and i'm gonna save the deep stuff for the end

um oh the social dilemma documentary don't need to watch it i already know what it's about i've heard a couple soundbites of people talking about it it's like yeah dude we're all addicted to our phones it's all making us hate ourselves the social dilemma is one of those documentaries it's going to be like obvious information but it's being spit out very sophisticatedly like very documentary early documentary early um i don't know i get it social dilemma social media's fucked us up i tweeted this like fucking six years ago that i don't think social media is the best forward progression for humanity like why did we why is this what we did you know this is the best we could we could do so yeah I'm a I'm a total hipster with that mindset

said it a long time ago you can go back on my tweets and go look me up I've been saying this shit for years but no straight up like there's so many it's one of those things where it's so many positives and so many negatives you know and the social dilemma definitely highlights the negative I'm sure but like social media is saving lives it's doing so many good things and uh I think you know back in the day I'm in college starting to listen to Gary Vee and he he said something that stuck with me forever I love that guy I love his energy I love how yeah anyways um he said like dude it's social media is here to stay this is reality we can't keep fighting this new reality and I've kind of had that I've adopted that mindset over time where I'm like

I need to adapt with it and like understand that yes it's ruining lives and mental health and all this stuff and try to be try to have that discipline and that awareness that that um that it's it it could there's a slippery slope with it and the more I'm on it the worse my health mental health is probably going to be and to like like that's why I mute like 99% of my stories and I don't I'm not sitting on TikTok all day and like I don't know I purposely do shit that's like my my routines with my phone I go in and out of good and bad habits but I think in quarantine I found a lot of quiet time you know just like so good at just being quiet with myself and literally just doing tasks or going on walks without any podcast or music on

and that thinking time's really important because we're constantly hit with shit all day why am I going into this deep topic anyways but I think like having the awareness this is the new reality it's gonna it's toxic in a lot of ways and then like trying to it's like it's like a it's like a relationship you know what I mean you got to do the work you got to do the work you can't just be like oh this phone's fucking my life up and blame the phone you gotta have some self-discipline and tell that little biatch to fuck off every time you think about picking it up okay anyways um looking at my note yeah the social dilemma have you guys seen that yet probably have I don't park myself in front of Netflix every night because I'm too I'm thinking like last night I got a second

wind and I was on my Patreon. I put three tiers and I'm a little bit embarrassed by it. You can go to patreon.com slash TJMS, TJMS. That's the, is that the acronym? Is that the word? Is that the initials for this podcast? The Jacqueline Monroe Show. Hi, my name's Jacqueline. Welcome to the Jacqueline Monroe Show. Anyways, TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS, three tiers. There's like general support for people that are in love with the podcast and me um or not I don't want to dude shout out just being the narcissist as fuck right that right there and I don't like being like that and I don't like sound like that anyways people that just generally want to support can pitch in five dollars there's a ten dollar tier that's um they're called so they're the espresso shots

the espresso shots is the first tier those people just want to support five dollar special ten dollar special is the perfect the perfect ice cubes and those people get extra perks so general support they can get ad up ad free episodes which hello we're still ad free bitch uh friendly reminder that in the future when I do ads it's because okay the ads keep this shit free for you guys just understand that I gotta put that out there I don't want to this I feel like I'm I'm I'm, I'm getting aggressive right now and this might be our first fight, but understand that, dude, is this our first fight? Are we fighting? I just want to let you know that ads are a thing because that's what keeps the shit free for you guys. So in the future, if you're in, if you're

on the, if you're doing the $10, $10 special on my Patreon, you're going to get ad free episodes. you're gonna get, um, you're gonna get, uh, input, like, you can, I forget, I should just log in and look, you're gonna get exclusive content, okay, I'll let you think for yourself that may or may not be, exclusive content, ad-free episodes, there's, like, another one, and then the third tier, those bitches are dropping the, uh, who's the president on the $20 bill. Who's the president on the $20 bill? Dude, I have to look this up. $20 bill. I should know. $20 bill president. These people, I just did five, 10 and 20. I'm just playing around with my Patreon right now. Um, Andrew Jackson. So the Andrew Jackson club, the $20 bill

bitches are supporting me the most. They, um, they're the iced almond milk lattes. so it's the espresso shots are one tier the perfect ice cubes are the second tier and the third tier is the iced almond milk lattes and those people get a whole laundry list of shit including a phone i even put the option down as like a phone call with me so who wants to chat let's have a live facetime sesh um i was just like i said playing around with patreon i'm trying to take this seriously you guys need me to like really show up because I want to build this like I said a community center of some sort I know what it's like to feel like you're a part of something online and I want to provide that experience you know what I mean like I want

there to be inside jokes I want there to be I don't know just like what do you do at a community center in fact when I was building out my studio and my brain yesterday I was thinking about getting a little spinny wheel an interactive spinny wheel so when you watch the video podcast I spin it and then there's like really hard shit to do on it or like truth or dare stuff I don't know I want to make this fun I want to I want to be a fucking solo circus drinking coffee god that's so good the more I drink the more crazy I get the only thing filtered is the coffee slogan for this podcast actually I sold out for my favorite podcast of all time rest in peace that podcast coffee with coffee with crachel they're my real inspiration here because

they had they were just the best rachel and chris if you ever listened to coffee with crachel that was my shit um but they made me they made me realize that i should do a po box where you guys send me okay so i was thinking about so the whole like building a community shit or like making this more interactive would be it'd be fun and I think if I do a p.o box it'd be cool if you guys sent me like coffee to try and then I could try it on the episode that every episode I'd have like a new coffee to drink um because I think that's been established I want to take down Emma Chamberlain with her coffee um like people think of Emma Chamberlain who I totally fucking relate to someone dm me because I asked yesterday like who the fuck do I remind you guys

of. And my sisters told me that. And then someone DM me that they can, I kind of remind them of Emma Chamberlain. Uh, so that's cool. Cause I, I'm obsessed with her. Like she is, if you know who I'm talking about, like go on her YouTube channel. She's just so iconic. Oh my God. I'm such a Gen Z or I just said iconic. Um, but her thing is coffee. She has her own coffee company and I'm straight up coming at her. I'm like, dude, I want to be, I want my personality to be iced coffee I want to take down Emma Chamberlain's personality her I want to I want to trump that I want to like build a wall I want people to think when they have their iced coffee in the morning I don't want them to think of Emma Chamberlain I want them to think of me so dude I'm competitive

as fuck all right sorry that was my inner inner um competition swimmer my inner competition basketball player, my inner competition, track athlete, my inner competition, um, um, spelling bee athlete. I, I lost the spelling bee dude. In the second round, I spelled alloy wrong. I put one L it's metal by the way. I remember I, I had PTSD from the spelling bee for so many years. I would remember just saying on stage on the microphone. That was one of the few times that my life was behind a microphone and I said alloy a l o y disqualified dude second round I'm out but um who just lost their hearing sorry this sound quality sucks but hey I'm proving it to myself in the world right now that I don't have to ball out with a nice uh what is it called a

the microphone that every big podcaster uses like an sm87 shore schmoor shore it's like an sh word I don't know dude I don't need that kind of quality I like it when things aren't nice okay I wrote this in my little book right here I'm gonna go into my little depression journal from 2020 so back in March and April I went to my local grocery store and I bought this little composition notebook with dolphins on the front. And I started writing to help myself. And I have to pee right now. Let me get to the section where I remember writing this down. So I have these specific mindsets and point of views on shit that I think are worth sharing. So I'm going to share them. I have very, like, I get specific as fuck in my mind about stuff. And I'm set in my ways.

I'm an old timer. I'm a real boomer about my opinions. I, I'm a old dog that can't learn new tricks. You cannot persuade me. And this is how I think about shit. But dude, I wrote this. Okay. I'm in my dolphin journal right now. Think of me being depressed. Um, oh, I wrote stuff in here as ideas for my YouTube channel. Like, cause I did like seven videos over the quarantine. Uh, you can subscribe. Um, just no pressure about the video podcast is going to be so lit. So you might as well um anyways I was writing in here for like YouTube ideas whatnot but I wrote like this thing down it said should I have an opinion about and want to share on camera so here I'm doing it on audio I don't like it when things are too nice

I like old shitty makeup products messiness a little hole in my shirt this pristine aesthetic thing makes my face itch these people are so unweathered kind of uncultured and paranoid about clutter and shit roughness wrinkles stains cracks messes are okay fuck your 200 hoodie dude what the hell fuck your salt and pepper and olive oil add some hot sauce and cheese on that bitch I'm talking about people that like share their perfect little avocado toast and I'm like dude where's your hot sauce where's your fun stuff like it's so aesthetically pleasing to look at I get it

everyone's into art and being like aesthetically pleasing on their post but I'm like dude put some make that let's make messes in like rough dirty shit sexy let's be European about it I started following a lot of these French and like Italian women on Instagram and they are just so it's like the there's so much beauty and chaos and I'm when I say it makes my face itch when everything's so pristine and clean and like minimal and no clutter I'm like it's giving everyone paranoia like if your fucking wardrobe isn't tan white brown gray and you've got the all these like sweat collections and little crop tops that are like perfectly clean and like you've got the little rib texture on your top and then you've got your

sweatpants from talentless that are like 200 and like in your air force ones it's just like this whole thing everything is so pristine and clean and shiny and like your your life is a whole filter it's like I like messy dirty grungy shit fits my personality let's be honest okay my shirt smells like myself because I haven't washed it in five days and I'm gonna auction off on my future patreon anyways I wrote this in my little journal should I keep going should I keep reading this this is a two-hour episode I'm saying that throughout the episode so like as you're listening if you're like dude this is dragging on forever you can tune out to know that oh tomorrow like you could just finish it or whatever I don't care I'm adding value to people's lives I'm in their

ear I'm providing some comfort sharing my story this is my therapy session um and I'm proving it I'm proving it to the uh the professionals out there that I can keep keep people fucking entertained for this long so if you ever need me to sit on a three-hour podcast uh my email is on my Instagram profile please send me an email I'm a shrewd businesswoman I'm a podcaster turned shrewd businesswoman let's see what else I wrote in here oh this is kind of nice my intuition my intuition led me to this this is my therapy you were you will literally watch me this is because I was going to YouTube so I said watch but now it's

listen you know what I'm saying so you will literally watch me get a little bit better each video each podcast I'm okay with posting garbage that goes against what my inner perfectionist wants I'm on my Gary Vee shit now 40 pieces of content a day bitch lol that's how I felt like when I dove into my YouTube channel I'm like I'm just starting it and it's messy and it's garbage but I'm posting I'm just going I'm get I'm working I'm at the gym I'm getting my reps in That's what this podcast is. So, uh, fuck adding value. Why did I write that? Oh, this is kind of deep. Fuck adding value. I wrote, all I'm trying to do is get you out of your head and into your heart.

Yeah, that's cool. So I wrote this back. Think about this. This is me back in like May, peak depression trying to start a YouTube channel um thinking of you guys already it's all it's all this is what's beautiful about this year is that little did I fucking know that I would go through it again and then not continue my YouTube channel for about a month and a half and be like or a couple months now it's been like three months go through it again and question the whole like I was feeling way too edited doing a like I was trying to go into YouTube and be as authentic as possible but I felt like a fraud because here I am in depression trying to hold my shit together for the camera and do a YouTube channel and then I'm so happy the beautiful thing

about this year is that I I'm finally like doing what I think is the most straight up no bullshit thing I could possibly do which is get on a podcast and now it's gonna go on YouTube next month but I'm so glad I came to that epiphany that this is the way to go man this is the way to get to know someone in the future podcasting make podcast podcasting the thing fuck a vlog I'm over the the vlog thing I mean I might do a couple just for funsies like when you guys want to see a day in my life or whatever in the future you know maybe I'll pepper one in but for the most part you guys are getting me in one take bitch one take Johnny that's what my mom would call herself back when she did broadcasting she called herself a one take Johnny because she would just

the camera go live and she'd be like hi I'm Jodi and she would do live broadcasting at a crime scene or something dude she's been sending a lot of um content in our like mother Teresa type of content my mom is the kindest person I've ever met I'll ever know she's literally taking care of a 92 year old man right now who just went through he had a heart attack so he had a heart attack with her and she rushed she like got him to the hospital because he didn't look well and then on the way I think he had a heart attack then he had surgery and she's been with him this whole time and she's been sending her sending us these um like updates of him Jerry made it through surgery I stayed with him early this morning till 8 30 tonight

she was she was with him all day I am happy and he's so glad to be alive dude my mom like I said mother Teresa saint she's like like the reason I cried this morning when I was at my local Valero gassing up I didn't mention this. I should have added this to the 24 hour update. I got emotional as fuck because I take a left hand glance out my window as I'm getting in my car, left hand, my, what am I saying? My peripheral vision. I see a homeless man curled up in a ball asleep and I saw his back and it was so bony. I was, I immediately got teary eyed because I don't know. My mom is, I get my empathy from her a hundred percent. Like I get my, I get my people skills from her and

stuff. Why was I saying this? Oh, because she would, um, I'm a one take Johnny. I'm a one take Johnny. That's what I was saying. You guys are going to get me in one take. I think that's the most authentic I can fucking be and how much I will feel less of a fraud and more like the best version of myself if I do this in one take. And so yeah, whatever. Oh, more shit I wrote here in my dolphin journal um oh this is good why am I doing this here I am talking about my why I feel a sense of responsibility underneath all of this to contribute to helping set people up for success slash show them how actionable actionable advice versus just throwing out more inspo motivation

like, tell them specifically how I do shit, how I manifested shit. Yeah, I guess what I mean by that is, like, I don't want to add to the motivation and inspo stuff. I don't want to be a motivational speaker. I don't want to inspire, like, I don't want to be a part of that club. I want to give you guys solutions. When I say actionable advice, I want to say something that's like you can walk away from the podcast and go do I want to put people in action because that's what I finally woke up to I finally woke up to the fact that I've been drugged out on on all this information for the last decade of social media and I wasn't really putting the rubber to the road and so this whole podcast is me putting the rubber to the road and taking action

and yeah anyways and I heard like a thing from the social dilemma uh someone said that like millennials now are like not dating each other and like no one's hanging out together anymore because people are so comfortable just sitting on their phones and like more people like doing that more than like being in person with people sometimes and that's like when I think of actionable advice I would say like and I'm this is projecting because I need to personally do this it's like literally go to your contacts call someone hit someone up go hang out with actual people if you're the type of person that's like I don't know introverted and like like totally chill being by yourself because I'm like that I have to really push myself to get out of the house

and go hang out with people we're at a Kevin Hart thing here Kevin Hart give things away to people to help them why take it all with you wrote that probably watching that Rogan episode still my favorite one of the year favorite rogan episodes this year david blaine well in in the bronze category david blaine and a silver silver category silver medal goes to elon gold medal goes to kevin kevin hart give things away to people to help them why take it all with you oh yeah i don't want to be an i wrote i don't want to be another person on the internet giving you fluffy surface level details I don't like people who are too cool and keep a guard up yeah facts yeah people that are just like I'm a g I don't talk about my problems

there is something really um I even wrote this on my on my uh I told you guys yesterday I was reading part of my document here of I have like all my writing compiled into one document dude where is it here it is and I wrote something to reload google longest episode ever I don't give a fuck um I wrote on my thing here something about being a badass and it's true like it and I fight this this isn't the thing I think I've um I've kind of lived this way and I think it's it's a this is a full-on ego ego way to live um I wrote I only believe a few things are exceptionally valuable okay whatever um hang in there stay with me push yourself keep keep those ears working take a potty break

personal quarterly off-site that's not it dude I write so much this is hard for me to find um oh wait this is good um I have mental privilege the number one advantage inside you right now my parents have always supported and believed in me which helps a lot yeah the number one advantage this is nothing to do what I was going to talk about but if you're happy and like literally if you are happy you are so that is that is the biggest advantage you have in society happy people people that are so just they they're joyful and light and having fun with this life and all this chaos it's like that duncan trussell quote they have so those people have mental privilege my friend david posted it i think i saw it too from like a while ago um on his story

shout out david i don't know if you're listening but this is the most important words of 2020 duncan trussell said some poor phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he's supposed to be there goes my positive affirmation alarm um that's so fucking true like the the most miserable like the most happy people have no fucking clue that there's a pandemic going on right now they're like next to a waterfall in some tiny little corner of the world untouched by society and they're happy and those people like that's meant like mental privilege that's what i mean like when you're just

so light and happy that's that's the shit right now and that's what you want to you want to wake up and you want to like yourself and you want to be happy okay so i'm trying to find what I was going to write about being a boss. Oh yeah. So I'm saying this because Kevin Hart, I wrote down, he gives, he said to give things away to people to help them. Why take it all with you? And I was going to elaborate because I don't like people who are too cool and keep a guard up, but I literally wrote this probably like when I was 19 or something. I wrote, walk the walk. the coolest people on earth never explain don't flaunt anything don't reveal their plan real g's move in silence they keep their own dirty little secrets

they know they're a badass and don't have to tell anybody i'm such a shithead there's truth in that i mean like yeah there's some goodness about just like being a G like you can know you're about you don't have to flaunt it so I'm talking about I don't like people that are always like showing themselves off and like talking themselves up I don't know am I doing that fuck just be cool stay fly under the radar be a good person um move in silence yeah they don't reveal their plan it's hard because I I know the reason I was talking about that is because I feel like I fought that for a long time where I'm like dude I just want to be I just wanted to be like I I didn't want people to I always I never wanted people

to see me sweat and I think that comes from being really competitive like I always wanted people to see me as this like it's my inner perfectionist like I they're showing vulnerability and sharing my like truths to people felt weak in my younger years and now I'm like dude not to toot my own fucking horn right now but like this shit telling people everything on a podcast every single day this is like the most gangster shit you can do and then it's hard it's not easy so I'm trying to join that club I'm trying to be part of the group of people out there in the world that are using their voice because look animals can't fucking talk we're the only species that can talk think about that that's insane so do something with it use it I'm trying to inspire people to

do their own self-help therapy podcast it's free you don't need to pay a therapist you can talk to yourself and no it's not delusional no it's not crazy normalize hey Gen Z let's normalize personal therapy session podcasting I could read more out of this journal um yeah this is my hero's journey I wrote that down how I got here oh yeah I said I don't want to motivate and inspire you that's a byproduct I want to impact you yeah that's the thing like you might feel motivated and inspired by this shit or whatever but like that's like that's not my priority here like I'm not trying to be like guys it's Monday motivation Monday here's your quote now to have a good morning I need you to

wake up at 5 30 a.m do not check your phone okay get up you're gonna go brush your teeth in the shower while it's cold for five minutes and 32 seconds then you're gonna get out and do 52 push-ups like that kind of shit I'm not here to do that okay there's enough of that content out there and hey hey if you're making that kind of content stop if you're making in 2020 if you're regurgitating obvious information like morning routines telling people specific details about how they should what steps to take in the day stop there's enough okay that's my epiphany of this year too like I had I've it's information overload I my brain is maxed out I don't know how many more fucking morning routines I can hear about or take I don't

know how many self-help courses I can hear about or take I don't know how many more workout routines I can hear about or take like or diets oh my god fucking it if I hear another diet plan that I should do a new trend like that's where I'm at and I don't understand how people can go a lifetime jumping on one bandwagon to the next bandwagon to getting inspired by this train and jumping on this one it's like everyone is just it's so chaotic that's why my biggest lesson or my biggest motivational speech I want to continue through these podcasts is to listen to your fucking intuition like what works for you do that so that's my social dilemma this podcast sucks it's too long it's too long it's too long should I check my note to see if

I have any more content to talk about should I dive into the farm content the farm farm section dude I got some dms holy shit uh okay I got this one person dming me I don't know if he's listening but you know the reaction face that's like think about if you were to make your mouth in the o shape he comments every single thing I do with that face and maybe he's listening right now but hey, stop, what are you, like, again, I keep saying stop to things, but, like, I don't get it, what do you mean, what is that face, are you confused, are you, like, it's, like, the, oh, my God, I think it's, oh, my God, face, I don't know, just send me, like, don't, just, just, okay, looking at my notes, farm content, this is the part where I like to reminisce,

because I'm trying to make this podcast comfy. If you've never had a farming experience before, if you've never grew up in farmland, this might make you feel cool and like you're right there with me back in the day. I'm trying to think of farm things I could talk about. Hay. Let's talk about hay.

I've got like two more sips of coffee. let's talk about hay bales so um oh hi amazon delivery truck dude why don't we have an amazon van emoji yet amazon van emoji produce it apple produce an amazon van emoji also a nice coffee emoji it's 2020 come on yeah with it um okay hey let's talk about hey so when I grew up next to dairy farms there was always a hay barn a hay barn and a sawdust barn where there's like a giant ass pile of sawdust and that's what they put in the cow pens because it like makes a nice plush surface for them to walk around and they constantly replenish it because the cows shit all over it and they have to like put new sawdust down does

that make sense so there's always like a couple big ass piles of sawdust and then there was a portion of the barn that had all the hay bales and let me tell you what we would do with the hay so we would build like forts within the hay bales so it's pretty self-explanatory basically when you grew up on a farm you're a little shithead kid and I had two other siblings and then the neighbors had like four kids around our age we would like play in the hay I guess like you can it would like be stacked a certain way and then you could like sit inside of it and call it your little house and play house and like have a fort and uh another thing that happened in the hay were cats a lot of kittens were chilling in there because dairy farms have a shit ton of cats

so I feel like I just remember like being in the hay with cats and what else had gone on in the hay um the hay was not safe most of the time the hay was like borderline about to tip over you we would get up so high because this should be stacked to the top of the barn and it was sketchy like you really had to you know be swift on your feet when you're bouncing around it but it was so fun I love climbing around the hay um if you've ever grabbed this is another sensation that you may or may not know about if you've ever bucked hail bucked hay hay bales the feeling of those twine those orange or blue twine bands that go around the hay to keep it together the feeling that of that as you're lifting it

under your knuckles specifically your middle knuckles like not the like think about grabbing I don't know is that what guitar players feel like all the time when they're like fingers hurt from the cords I don't know but that that is another thing about hay like holding the hay bale and lifting it and the weight like of the twine and everything it's like it hurts so I remember that from the hay um what's another hay term um hay bale um there's like different versions of hay you could buy like alfalfa what was the kind we would get our horse clover I don't remember oh flake my mom would always tell us like the chore in the morning would be like oh can someone go throw the horse a couple flakes of hay and sometimes it was like oh she needs four flakes

because we had a severely under um underweight Arabian at one point yesterday I mentioned that she got put down on my birthday so listen to that episode if you want to know that story but anyways she was severely under underweight and so some days it was like oh she needs a couple then it was like four flakes I remember just over overfeeding the fuck out of her and like giving your exorbitant amounts of grain, enormous amounts of grain, um, yeah, so anyways, hay bales, and then I'll tell, I'll tell the sawdust story too, because, you know, you guys didn't grow up on a farm, so you probably want to, you probably want to, want to know this, this podcast is too long, this is why I know the podcast needs to end, is because the coffee is running out, and I'm kind of getting

bored of talking, um, not like that, but I'm feeling like, first of all, I have to pee, and I'm undernourished myself not underweight I'm not underweight but I'm definitely underfed right now over caffeinated underfed I worked out and I did this podcast for too long anyway so the sawdust the sawdust piles were fun too because we would like dig tunnels in the sawdust and that was more dangerous I think than the well I know than the hay bales because if that collapsed and you're under this pile of sawdust like that's not good but I remember it like that it's like the feeling you get it's such a weird thing the whole vibe of being in the sawdust and the hay bales is like and the smell it's just the whole thing so yeah there's your farm content

section for this podcast I could talk more about my childhood um I was gonna talk about like my favorite fucking oh okay random thought I wrote down because I'm kind of in the new car shopping mode I'm not gonna talk about childhood anymore enough that but like okay this is not gonna make any sense if you know my life story if you know about my life here in San Diego like you're just gonna be like Jacqueline what the fuck are you saying but dude I've been looking at like looking into new cars because I'm due and honestly like the cars I think I should like I don't really love like, I see these Mercedes, I see these Audis and BMWs, like, the, like, I feel like everyone kind of, you know, when they buy their first nice car, like, that's what they get into, um, but they're

not, like, I just, there's some, I, I just, I don't know, they're not doing it for me, dude, I want it, okay, this is my big, this isn't going to make sense if you know me and my life story, but I want a blacked out 2018 Tahoe? I want a, I want a Tahoe. I want a Chevy Tahoe blacked out 2018. I don't like the new shape of the 2020 version. Like I straight up want like a 2018 blacked out Tahoe. Like is that small vagina energy? Like, you know how like girls should have like a cute little car, right, and here's Jacqueline in her giant-ass Tahoe, I don't know, I think it's, look, I had a phase in my life where I drove one of those a lot, and I can't really think of another car right now that would, that's doing it for me, I looked up a picture of one the other

day, and I was like, ah, shit, I love driving this big-ass bitch, you're up so high, it's, and it was souped I mean it was it was a sweet ride but like I don't know I want to look like the government I think that's what it is I think I want to look I want to look intimidating I want to look like the government you know like in every action movie you've ever seen there's always a bunch of Tahos following around important people like blacked out Tahoe's I think that's what it is I think that's the vibe I want it I want to give off so yeah 2018 blacked out Tahoe I think I'm still gonna want that in five years and ten years it's gonna look old I don't give a fuck I like a Post Malone driving his old Bronco and I'm like I get

that I think I could even drive like a really old Tahoe one of the boys I liked in high school like he drove a Tahoe shout out to you how are you doing dude I think about like my first crush in high school and I told you guys on the podcast the other day that like all of my crushes always had girlfriends and it was so annoying that was my whole college or high school experience so yeah anyways um I think also the reason I like the Tahoe my my uncle um I that he's passed away now um he's been I mean gone for a while which is I haven't really thought about him in a while but like he him and my aunt um got an escalate and I got to help them like pick it out I think like I was part of the the choices they made like the color choice and the interior I don't know and

I'm not really an S I feel like it I'll have an Escalade when I'm 65 like when I retire I'll do that but I don't I don't I'm not gonna get I I'm a Tahoe over Escalade type of bitch um I don't know so yeah doesn't make sense if you know me my life story you'd be like Jacqueline how is that not triggering for you to look at a Tahoe and drive one every day, but, um, anyways, here's the thing, do whatever the fuck you want, stop living in the past, um, okay, I wrote down Chris Brown's song, trips to your crib in the middle of the night, I know that you miss me cause I put it down right down, babe, how good is that song, I wrote that down, trips to your crib in the middle of the night I know that you miss me because I put it down right damn babe I could put you on a flight

that's such a great song um what other okay I'm gonna like scroll through a couple more notes and end this podcast it's been way too long sixth seventh birth of the podcast um I think that's kind of everything I want to talk about I think I've covered it all oh okay two things I mentioned having a p.o box I think it'd be fun for you for you guys to send me shit I'm also a little scared about that because I don't know I feel like I've heard some horror stories of people getting sent like chemicals and they open the envelope and then it puffs like some toxic chemical in their face that fucking freaks me out or like poisoning me like here's some cookies I baked for you and then fucking I would never first of all you guys send

me anything edible and I said send me coffee so I can't say this but like if someone sent me a batch of cookies I would not fucking touch that I would okay I have to tell a story my neighbor upstairs after like two months of living here she like tried to break the ice and she did they can probably hear me right now she baked me like what's it oh yeah brownies she like frosted brownies and there's like coconut on top it was like okay this is kind of like not my vibe but she set them at my front door and like knocked and ran away like a funny thing and she texted me because we all have we all have each other's numbers here but I threw that shit away so fucking fast I don't even think twice to eat that so anyways if you guys send me food in my p.o box unless it's like sealed

in in a in a package like from a store if it's fda approved like food I will eat it okay but like Like if you sent me a pack of Oreos, for example, yeah. Okay. I fuck with that, but not something freshly baked. I got to have a, I have to have a relation. Like I got to trust you. Mom's the, my mom is the only one that can send me stuff. And I'm a little salty right now. She's going to send me chocolate chip banana bread over the summer. And I never received that package. And dude, my mom makes the best chocolate banana, chocolate chip banana bread of all time. So yeah, still waiting on that package. I was supposed to send my brother something and I never sent him that just remember that so actually like it's sort of like in my visibility right now

by my front door just send him something okay so last thing I want to say is I asked on the IG story yesterday if I who wanted to be a guest on the podcast and of course thousands of you not not that many but like a lot of people said yes and now I have anxiety like oh shit do I have to like wait who else said yes I'm looking now of course my mom um so what I'm thinking is I don't think I'm quite ready like I'm doing a solo podcast right now but when the time comes it's good to know that you guys want to be a guest on it and I think what I want to do for guests is like I had this thought because you know Jacqueline has endless endless thoughts that's why she's just world-class this shit podcasting is her jam

she is like going to the big leagues I had a thought that when I have a guest I want to put them through a little a little uh a little filter I want to put them through like I want to take you on a journey and I want to take every guest on the same journey like a series of questions I ask you like this is the official TJMS the Jacqueline Monroe show Q&A so you know what to expect when you get on here I wanted I think I want to do that and have like a a very structured way of interviewing people and it and I want it to be like the greatest Q&A interview of all time like I want to get real creative with this shit I don't know so because I thought like that would be fun and like I could obviously still do regular ass interviews and just flow and have like and just

sit back and let you guys have the spotlight and listen to you and get to know you over a Q and a, just like a normal conversation. Um, but I thought it'd be kind of fun to do something real, like specific to my podcast and me all about me. I want to be different. I don't want to be like every other podcast, dude, how many more conversations of like, Like, like, am I getting maxed out of that? Am I getting maxed out of hearing like the same old, same old conversation? Not really. It's honestly just like, okay, I wrote this literally.

I should frame this. I wrote this on a sticky note. I'm looking at it right now and I'm pissed because my coffee splattered on it. But I wrote everything ever is about storytelling. I wrote that on my note. That's a thought I had last night. I put it down on the sticky note. everything ever is about storytelling and that's why podcasts work that's why these conversations

that you're like wow it's like same shit different podcast that's why it never gets old I'm telling stories man I'm keeping up keeping up this is a storybook of my life and anyway so I thought okay and then another thought for guests is I could run them through the 36 questions that you that you asked someone to fall in love with them I thought about like if someone likes me and wants to be on my podcast, we could do that together. I post that on my Instagram. Wait, 36 questions. Let me pull up a couple. Yeah. I thought that'd be, that would be kind of fun. Yeah. Here are 36 questions designed to make you fall in love with someone. Asking 36 specific questions plus four minutes of sustained eye contact. We'd have to do that

over zoom, uh, is a recipe for falling in love or at least creating intimacy among complete strangers. So yeah, I was thinking about, uh, doing that with the boys. Cause like I said, like this is, I feel like at this point I'm treating this like I'm dating someone. So we might as well ask each other questions. And then it's like the bachelorette, I'm the bachelorette. And then I'm going to have guys come on my podcast and we're going to talk about these questions and then answer them together and then fall in love. And then whoever I fall in love with, will be my official guest host and you'll come move in with me and we'll live happily ever after okay so like question number one is like given the choice of anyone in the world who would you

want to be as a who would you want as a dinner guest dumb that's a stupid question but as you get to the end they're getting more juicy um take four minutes and tell your part number question 11 take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible you know I I couldn't cut it down to four minutes you know I couldn't all right guys happy fucking Wednesday I'm getting hungry no more coffee in my little pot my little cup here I used a plastic straw today and I'm going to help that was delivered with my postmates which I didn't receive the beverage okay the other day when I didn't have um groceries I got wait what the fuck was I supposed to wait was it that postmate delivery

anyways I got a straw I didn't receive a beverage and I got the straw so I was really annoyed did not tip that no I'm kidding I tipped I always tip but like I got I let the restaurant know you know like I gave the little review anyways so I'm drinking out of a plastic straw coffee's gone I need to end this podcast my mouth's getting kind of dry have a great Wednesday I'll talk you tomorrow, um, leave a review if you want, uh, subscribe to my YouTube channel, patreon.com slash TJMS, don't make fun of me, it's kind of embarrassing, I'm new at this, um, okay, bye, I love you!