The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 130- 21 Questions To Ask Yourself

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

Happy Monday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Monday. It's episode 130. Welcome back to the show. what's up guys happy monday it's jacqueline welcome back to the show Hi, just settling in here in my studio. I'm on YouTube Monday through Friday. Go ahead and hit that subscribe button on all, you know, at all the places you can subscribe. I got Apple podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, subscribe to my Instagram account. Fucking follow me on Instagram, subscribe there. Uh, go over to subscribe on patrion.com slash TJMS. Um, yeah, just go everywhere and subscribe click things support the show speaking of patreon uh it's uh where you support the show right and get access to my exclusive content my patrons get phone calls

shout outs they get my behind the scenes videos no one else gets to see they get pictures no one else gets to see so check it out um i'm feeling good uh it's monday start of a new week should we goal set today should we talk about what we want to accomplish what is it monday december fucking january 11th 2021 i feel like this is gonna be a juicy week in the world in current events politics uh i think biden's making a speech on thursday which will be interesting um so yeah i'm looking forward to this week i i'm just gonna update you guys here's what i want to say. I decided on a topic today. I decided on a topic today. We're going to talk about 21 questions to ask yourself in 2021 or today. We're going to do them all today. So that's going to be the juicy

story time after I go over my daily update. Basically, all I have to tell you is this. I'm going to list it off and we'll get into the 21 questions. Basically, last night I podcasted. I watched Ozark. I went to bed. My whoop strap said I got six hours and 23 minutes of sleep, which is great. I recovered 49%, which is not great. These are my stats. These are my fucking health, my vitals. I have to tell you guys my vitals right now. I got about 8,000 milligrams caffeine in me. Anyways, so I slept great, woke up. You guys know what I'm up to now. I don't put my phone by my bed. So I get shit done first thing the morning where before I didn't even think it was a problem I'd wake up and get on my phone

but I wake up at six I want I wouldn't get out of bed till seven and I'm like I'm just wasting time so basically I got shit done this morning made coffee kind of tidied up my bedroom you know put my pillows and my blankets on made my bed brush my teeth wash my face all that stuff put on a walking outfit because I made coffee and went on a walk and woke up with the sunset. So, or excuse me, the fucking sunrise. So yeah, I had a great morning, um, on my walk. So, you know, one of my new goals is to talk to a stranger every single day. This old man walked by me, uh, on my walk. Of course we're both walking in the morning. Okay. Um, anyways, he said, he said, hello, good morning. How are you? And I said,

I'm great. Thanks. And we kept walking and I count that as a conversation. I talked to a stranger today it happened at like 6 30 this morning um it was great just like getting the fresh air I think I used to do morning walks all the time but lately I've been doing hikes it's like a weekend thing or I do nighttime walks but I woke up first thing and did that felt good to breathe that fresh air and be outside and no one was really up so I don't know I did that came home, did yoga. I did Travis Elliott's yoga, 30 minute edge flow on YouTube. Holy motherfucking shit. Okay. I'm trying, let me be, let me let you in on my yoga practice right now. I keep talking about yoga. It's my thing. Okay. It's like what I'm up to workout wise. And I'm

torturing on purpose. Like I'm torturing myself on purpose with these workouts because there's a there's a hump you got to get over you have to get over in yoga where if you don't have your upper body like chaturanga tricep strength going on you're fucked like all these harder advanced level classes suck if you're if you don't have really good strength to weight ratio and like whatever that's called um so anyways I do this class and it's 30 minutes of torture on my arms and my back because I'm trying to like really I want to do it I don't know I've been doing about four times a week so every time I do the classic it's a little easier so I did that for 30 minutes and it was hell but I got through it um put on the Tim

Dylan podcast latest one took a shower did my makeup made more coffee and then I almost passed out, guys, I had, let me slow down, all right, I think I exerted my body too much, and I didn't have breakfast, and I was too excited to podcast, story of my life, this happens every fucking time I try to record, I had, you know, all this energy, I'm like, I'm doing my makeup, I'm gonna record, I'm gonna make more coffee, and then I was, like, light-headed, holy shit, so I made breakfast, uh guys this is gonna sound disgusting but I do two fried eggs avocado butternut squash and red onion salt and pepper red onion butternut squash avocado two eggs put it in a bowl and eat it it's so good that's what I had it revived my I revived myself fuck okay I need to like take a breath

it revived me and I feel great okay so that's it that's pretty much the the life update section done that segment's done I don't have transition music but we're gonna do the 21 questions to ask yourself now let me take a sip of coffee first I have a new item oh guys I'm looking for a new couch I have an alert on my phone on offer up because I'm not I'm not shy about telling you guys, I don't mind buying a couch off of OfferUp. You know, might as well. A lot of, oh, it's brand new. 600 bucks. That's a good price on that one. I'm trying to get the Utopia couch from Living Spaces, but honestly, when I went to measure it in the store, it is going to be a little too big, but I'm thinking about getting it anyways and making it just like sucking up that there's

going to be a little gap in the door or a little block in my doorway anyways so transition music take a sip of coffee why do I feel like I suck at this now fuck me okay you know what I don't know I feel boring all right taking a sip of coffee I think here's what I'm up against I feel like right now I haven't been living life and going out and experiencing things to talk about other than like I go on a walk I do yoga I go watch Ozark at night and I'm on you know like I'm at the grocery store I'm at the beach I'm on a hike like there's not a lot of human interaction happening other than that old man who said hello so um I gotta work on that in fact I was gonna socialize this weekend but as you know

I had COVID symptoms I'm like I'm not messing with that so next weekend I can probably update you guys or I'll have more stories to tell about like hanging out with people and doing shit because I feel boring this is dry all right questions to ask yourself I wrote these last summer uh or I found these questions on some like self fucking health self-health self-help website and I like put them on a google doc just just to like refer to uh so I'm gonna do my best to answer them honestly and on the fly here uh maybe I'll ask I'll like anyways I'll rope you guys in too. Question number one. 21 questions to ask yourself. Question number one. Do I like

who I am right now? Honestly, yeah. Yes. Yes. Do I need to elaborate? Why do I like who I am right now? I feel like I'm actually, I'm in the flow. I feel like I'm being nice to myself lately. I'm accomplishing a lot of stuff. I'm like achieving my goals and staying up and I'm happy. And I feel like I'm a good person. I'm nice to, I have all my relationships are all solid. I feel, I don't know. I like myself. What else should I say? Now is this going to be even more fucking boring than me telling you guys I went on a walk this morning and talk to an old man like do I like who I am right now yes next question what would I truly regret not doing if I died tomorrow

oh my god well I started a podcast that's off the that's off the table I think for the longest time to let you guys in on my regret my life like the things I've regretted doing would be I'd say this is so like stupid but ever since I was in seventh grade I wanted to be a beauty guru like a beauty youtuber but I was too insecure and self-conscious to ever really take that step and get on camera and record makeup videos so I never did it and I feel like that that stuck around with me until I was like 22 23 like I still dabbled I was like sort of making YouTube videos but I never really did it full-on and whenever I did do it I just felt like I've just changed as a person I feel like I've grown up and it's not that interesting

to me anymore like I'm not a big like I like doing my makeup but I'm not obsessed with it it's not my hobby you know so for the longest time that there was always that little piece of regret in me like I wish I got in the game back when it all started because here I've watched these beauty YouTube people I've watched them grow up become massively successful and then here I am like and there's nothing wrong with that I just think looking back I wish I would have done it and started in seventh grade when I wanted to um but if I died tomorrow what would I truly regret not doing now I mean literally if like I feel like the first thing I can think of is if I died tomorrow I would regret not being in my like with family right now with all of them

right now I think that seems like the biggest regret I would have not being able to say goodbye to family and everyone right now today like hanging out with them so but that aside like what's some big thing I want to do that I'd regret not doing I don't know I don't really live with a lot of regret to be honest I'm not I don't like sit and go oh I wish I did that or oh I should do that um I don't know I'd say being with family okay what am I most likely very wrong about question number three what am I most likely very wrong about everything I feel like I'm wrong about a lot of shit like I don't know I don't have a depth of knowledge on any one topic I'm not the most sophisticated speaker with the best biggest vocabulary and so I feel like when I

talk about current events and this is maybe a little bit of an insecurity right now as a podcast host I feel like when I get on the microphone and riff and rant or just talk about what's happening in the world I feel like I don't really have a lot to say about it other than this is the headline wow that's fucked or oh that's kind of stupid and I I just don't have a lot of like I guess again a depth of knowledge about things so I feel kind stupid and that's probably I'm probably wrong about the fact that I feel like to you you guys might be like Jacqueline what the fuck you make sense you're fine like who cares but sometimes I think about wow I need to like read more I need to plug myself in and like really understand what's

going on like foreign affairs and politics and taxes and fucking stimulus and how everything and how it all fucking yeah works okay but what am I most like you're most likely wrong about currently um potentially the stocks I'm in I might be super wrong about these companies but I shouldn't even invest in them if that's how I feel but maybe you know that's always on the table You might be really wrong about what your predictions are and what you think, but I know in the past I was very wrong about my, like, I saw myself in such a bad way compared to what people probably thought of me. Like, you always think, like, when I had my super insecure phase with a really low self-esteem, I feel like I was wrong about all that. like I was awesome I was cool I was fun but like I didn't see it so I was definitely wrong about that I'm sure you guys probably relate to that and now I'm not wrapped up in caring like I don't

care what people think about me and that's the most like freeing okay wait it's not that I don't care what people think about me there's always a little piece of a human being that has that little there that cares but it doesn't even cross my mind especially when I am socializing like if I'm meeting people for the first time, I'm not worried at all. Like I used to be, I'm just like there. I'm like, Hey man, what's up? Like, hi girls. Like whatever. And it's, I'm not sitting there analyzing myself. Like, do I look okay? Am I cool? Do they like me? I didn't even think about that anymore. So anyways, what am I on now? Number four. Um, what could I give a 40 minute presentation on with no preparation?

shit I was going to say something inappropriate but I'll refrain um just use your imagination I could talk about a lot of things for 40 minutes hold on got two guys the truck they got it the back of the truck bed has a bunch of two by fours in it This guy's wearing a hat backwards. I can't tell if he's hot because he's wearing his hat backwards, but I think he's got a good face. His friend there is about 50. They look like contractors. I don't know. They're backed up in front of my apartment here. Um, I wonder what they're doing. Why are they transporting lumber on Monday right now? Where are they going with it? Yeah, that guy's actually kind of hot he's got man man bun neighbor beat who I saw earlier on my walk

this morning I did see man bun man bun neighbor it's getting to the point now where we're crossing paths in person where before it was just me looking outside through the window during the podcast talking about him now I'm on walks I'm around the neighborhood passing him so anyways what was I gonna say next what could I give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation I didn't premeditate any of these answers so I'm just sitting here trying to think off the top of my head um podcasting I'd be like all right kids sit down and shut the fuck up here's how you podcast you put on a headset it's my style so I'm going to say put on a headset open GarageBand file new enter press the record button stop it when you're done

find a podcast host some sort of thing you can upload it to upload that bitch and you're done like it's that easy you just open your mouth and talk and upload it that's all that's I could talk for 40 minutes about I could talk forever about podcasting but um I mean I do all this pretty much no preparation as it is so okay next question what things have I had number number five what things have I had to unlearn I'd say okay this is about two years ago now how long has it been I like to say I got my soul stripped and I hate to be like dramatic but I was going through this I was involved in a relationship that was very um bad for me and my

I guess for my self-esteem like I basically felt after after it all unfolded and went down I didn't know who I was I was my self-esteem and my self-worth was in the shitter I had zero confidence in who I was and so I had to like unlearn all of these um things that were what is it called like put on me all these said to me ideas about who I am like that were not my own that were given to me by someone else that I started to internalize and believe I did unlearn all those new toxic beliefs about myself so there's that and that's been that's been a journey I'd say over the last couple years and now I feel like I'm rock solid I'm like fucking I love myself I'm like I I have no like I wonder if I'm you know fucking weird or

this or that I just I don't I don't even care I'm so solid in who I am now and it feels great but I definitely had to unlearn all those like phrases and those things said to me where I was like taking it on like oh I am bad at this I do suck at that I shouldn't open my mouth and talk in a meeting and I shouldn't fucking, I sound stupid every time. Like literally I could go on. I was fucking stripped, man. I was like hung out to dry at one point. I was like, who the fuck am I? Um, anyways, next question. I know that was kind of vague, but I want to tread lightly. I don't want to get into details about that relationship and that experience, but basically I'm a lot better now let's just do the next question um all right number six why did I decide to do what I'm

doing right now in my life why am I a podcast host why am I living in San Diego San Diego why am I drinking coffee from Starbucks Starbucks blonde espresso ever buying local why am I lighting this candle I did buy local this candle is locally bought locally made shout out often wander candles I think they sell them at Urban Outfitters but they're a hop skip and a jump away from my doorstep and I get refills for half off and the same you can like refill the container with a different scent it's great um how did I get where i am right now why did i choose this well as you know 2020 was interesting um it was a roller coaster of lows it was like it was like high i'm it was like january february

roller coaster going to the top of that the drop part and then fucking march lost my job straight down for like four months all the way through July depression depression as my what does my family say we have like we have these phrases so we have potential and depression so then four months of depression roller coaster just fucking crashed and then the back half of 2020 was like August therapy, medication for my depression and working on myself and committing to never going back and having those negative spirals all day long and laying in bed all day and not going outside and all the just horrible shit. So I committed to changing. I committed to working on myself. And number one reason why I'm doing this podcast is because of 2020 taught me

anything whatever you want to do whatever your dream is whatever um any if you've been thinking about doing something for a long time last year taught me just start do it start it and it's interesting because I never set out to do a podcast right I never planned on it it happened so randomly I've told the story many times it was like just a it was literally a combination of me watching a Rogan episode on my TV the last one in his old studio and someone DMing me hey you should start a podcast you should talk about this topic something I posted on my story right and then I got my old iPhone headphones and had the little microphone like people use on TikTok do you guys see them use those little like they just hold a microphone next to their face I

literally literally within 10 minutes of that Rogan episode sat down and started recording immediately was like oh my god this is amazing oh my god oh my god this is my passion holy shit this is my purpose I like immediately fell in love with podcasting and I haven't stopped since so the interesting thing about the podcast and the reason why I did it because what's the question let's refer back why did I decide to do what I'm doing right now in my life um like I told you earlier I always want to be a YouTuber I always I've always envisioned myself as someone who's an online person whatever that means whether it's a YouTuber Instagram influencer whatever something online a creative a content creator like I've always I've always seen that

for myself or like like it's been a gut thing but I didn't pick podcasting picked me I didn't pick podcasting does that make sense because what I was picking was not right a good it wasn't a good fit for me every time I did a YouTube vlog every time I you know try to do the influencer shit it felt like I was reading a script and I was playing an act I was like putting on this this persona of what I like should sound and look like and you know how there's like a formula with influencers and everyone kind of does the same thing talks the same and you know I've I've I think I've beaten that to death I especially in the beginning of the show I I went hard on influencer I like ranted I talked about it my opinions and I'm not going to do that today but

podcasting picked me it just felt right it felt the most natural it felt the most like raw and real um way to connect with people on the internet and be that online person so So, but the reason I committed is I decided last year, I decided that I need to commit and decide on things instead of getting excited like for one day on the podcast and then never doing it again. I need to pick something that feels right and commit. And I've been doing that with other things like my yoga. That's another way or another area I've committed to in my life. But why am I in San Diego? Why am I here?

there's another part of the question like why did you decide to do what you're doing right now I mean I think of my move here was like every so I think I recognized early on I talked about this the other day that California was cool and like it was a place to be and it's sunny and there's beaches and it's like LA and Hollywood and movies and actors and of course you know I grew up acting and I was always kind of I don't know like I like put on a show and be entertaining like that was my role in the family because we were, I don't know, just like a fun loving bunch of people who roast each other all the time. We always watched like funny movies and my dad was like a standup comedian in the house. And I just liked being on it and being in front of people and that never

really changed. And so that's not like, it's not like I moved to LA to pursue a career in, you know, some sort of entertainment thing. But, um, I recognized early on that this was like the Cal Southern California was the hub of it. And then when I traveled here, I was like, Oh my God, I got to move. It just felt right. It felt like this was the first time I came to a city and was like, I could live here. This feels like home. So I ended up here because it was like my little dream. You know, I want to graduate college, which I did. I worked at my university for a year as a program coordinator for international students and after a year at that I was like I got to get out of here I was in my little college town in Pullman Washington and I was

like I gotta go to California so I packed up and drove out here and two years later two and a half years later here I am so um it's been the best I feel like the best decision of my life I feel like it's, it's everything to me. I don't know. And even this morning, I'm like, every time I look at a palm tree, it still feels like I'm on vacation. I don't know if that will ever go away, but I have this deep love and appreciation for the city. And yeah. So, all right. Next question. Question seven. What is the most impactful no I've said recently? The most impactful no. oh god two things come to mind we'll start with the lighter one we'll start with the heavier one or no excuse me start with the lighter one and with the heavier one

so I told someone no this weekend I was supposed to like hang out with someone watch football right and I felt sick I had COVID symptoms and I'm like I'm just not seeing people this weekend so I didn't I said no and um that was impactful like I didn't feel bad about it I was like I'm I'm saying no I don't feel bad about it I'm not hanging out I couldn't taste for two days and my throat hurt so I was like all right staying home that's kind of a dumb example but that wasn't like an impactful no I said no i don't know if i should tell a story i don't know uh you know i'll just tell it and i'll be

basically back to that um thing i mentioned where i was basically in a narcissistic emotionally abusive situation with an employer i'll just call them an employer it was uncomfortable as a woman to, after, like, after a year at it, I was uncomfortable as a woman to be in that workplace and witness what I was witnessing, and I, and the way I was being treated was completely uncalled for, so the most impactful no I said was, without saying what I said in this situation, because it's, I just, it's not important for this story, I basically finally said no, I will not tolerate this. No. And my, I guess the most impactful no was me like physically saying no by removing myself and quitting on the spot and not

saying a word and never going back. So that pretty much changed my, like the course of my life. And it helped me grow so much as a person because for that entire year, like I told you, I felt like my soul was getting stripped and stripped and I lost myself and who I was before San Diego and throughout that year it was like me trying to stay up and and and like feel good about myself but it was so hard because I kept having these negative things reinforce reinforce reinforce reinforce and you know the gaslighting the manipulation the whole thing it happened to a tea with me um and this person so I yeah I just like said no I walked away and the day I left I literally walked out into the world I'll never forget I was at my gym in La Jolla

and I was like I don't I don't know who I am it's like I literally thought had those thoughts like I'm on the treadmill I was like walking in the gym I get on the treadmill I'm like who am I it was so crazy and so the last couple years has been the rebuild right I'm trying to like restore the Jacqueline the inner Jacqueline that was always there and find her again and I feel like she's back and she's better than ever but that no that verbal no I did and said and then the physical me quitting and getting out of there no was probably the most impactful no and that that was a couple years ago so it's something not the question was something recently I said no to? I guess the person this weekend who I don't watch football. I said, no, that's like a dumb

one. All right. Next question. Question eight. Am I on nine, eight? Eight. I think I'm on eight. What is one thing I would do if it was impossible to fail? Oh, so many things. I would skydive today. The fact that skydiving, this sounds maybe insane to people that do it or who have done it. The fact to me, skydiving is a 50, 50 fucking chance of survival. The parachute either goes or it doesn't. That's it. So to me, too risky. That's a 50, 50 chance in my eyes. Um, but if it, if it was impossible to fail and I wouldn't, you know, there was no issues with parachutes or falling to your death, then I would do it today. Um, and maybe that will change, you know, who knows, maybe I'll someday I'll do it, but

um I think yeah if it was impossible to fail I'd go skydiving all right next question what am I addicted to dude you guys all know that answer social media man I'm addicted addicted to podcasting I'm addicted caffeine I was addicted to nicotine for two years not anymore um but I have like a when I said that not anymore yeah I was on that jewel bitch I was on that jewel and I had lung issues for two days. Couldn't breathe. Had to quit cold turkey and best decision of my life, but I used to be addicted to nicotine. I would say my addictions are social media. Like no shame. I love the internet. I love the internet. Big fan, big fan of social media, big fan of Instagram. I recently deleted Twitter. So I feel like my, it's going to be good for my

usage the fact that I don't have Twitter now um yeah just big F you to Twitter uh just want to say that right now publicly coming on camera say Twitter go fuck yourself not a big fan anymore not about you you suck um quote me cancel me whatever you gotta do I don't care not a big fan but yeah I'm addicted to social media caffeine and podcasting um and recently taking pics like I just have this fucking routine now where I'm like, I feel cute. And I'm like, I got to take a picture right now. I never, I think for the longest time I wasn't, I was just like putting a little selfie on my story. And then I never really sit and take a picture of myself or if I'm out and about doing something, I never, you know, take a moment to like document it.

I grew out of that phase. I feel like I was heavily in that Instagram pic phase. And it's like, I think is I've never grown out of it, but I haven't been trying hard with it ever where I feel like now I'm actually like trying hard. I'll just admit to that. Like you see me nonchalantly, like taking a selfie, laying in bed, whatever. No, that's a very well thought out curated image. It didn't just happen naturally. Like I don't have a roommate. I'm taking my own pics. I have ring lights. I have tripods. I have 10 second timers. I'm taking my own pics. Okay. so recently I've been kind of addicted to posting on Instagram and I feel like it's a healthy addiction because you know back to what I was saying about building my self-esteem back and

my confidence like it's helped it sounds maybe stupid but it's just what works for me like I like seeing myself in a positive light in a nice picture where I'm like I feel cute and it makes me feel good like I don't know I like getting dressed up putting my you know cute outfits on and there's nothing wrong with that. I think I used to be like, oh, that's so narcissistic and self-absorbed, but you know what? Fuck it. If it makes you happy, if it's fun, do it. It's like playing dress up as a kid, same shit. Um, so anyways, what am I addicted to? Caffeine, social media, podcasting, Instagram pics. All right. Next question. Question nine. No, question 10. what milestone am i working toward in my personal and professional life milestone number one personal

to be honest a fucking husband that's a milestone i'd like to accomplish or get to milestone number one would be personal life husband and kids all right uh professional life I want to currently you know I'm in PR I'd like to gain more and more skills learn more and more and more every day with my job and go go big you know at some point um that's kind of vague it's not very specific but I think every day is an opportunity to learn and grow especially at your job like ask your boss questions ask questions like never be like the number one thing in business is you're not the smartest person in the room right so ask questions like reach up to someone who knows more than you

and that's better than you and and uh yeah and just grow and grow and grow and I feel like professionally I think we can all work on that this year and strive for that instead of just kind of staying the same so level up professionally and personally I'm trying to get booed up and fucking married with a kid with some kids all right fuck it I don't care question 11 okay what would I most regret not having told someone if I died tonight why haven't I told them yet oh my god I need to take a sip of coffee guys I read something two days ago speaking of getting booed up did I did I tell you how my grandma wrote in her journal my grandma wrote in her journal when she met my grandpa and it's crazy because they got married

had kids and here I am right so yesterday when I was planning my week I have this journal I'm showing the camera I don't care if someone comes to my house and steals this they'll find out what I said in this but um now you know I met someone and until yesterday I forgot that I had written about it and just being honest and open like this is kind of embarrassing but I rediscovered that last or yesterday when I was planning my week because what I do is sometimes I get all my journals out I just like skim through and see what I was talking about a couple years ago whatever so the fact that I found this is insane and I guess if I what would I what's the question what would I most regret not having told someone if I died tonight I would say I would regret not

telling this person my true feelings and um yeah but again it's like with family like I'd want to tell everyone I love them and you know all of that because obviously but if it wasn't like me sitting with family if I'm gonna die tonight I'd have to tell this person how I truly feel and that's kind of sad that I haven't um but I think with everything in life there's a time and place you know what I mean there's a time and place and timing is everything there's tons of time in my life to do that to explore that I'm not in any kind of rush you know what I'm saying so who knows maybe we'll end up together who the fuck knows um next question question 12 what makes me feel most alive

podcasting I mean fucking a fucking a podcasting I say it all the time this feels like flying this feels like um the biggest fattest hit of any drug you can possibly take it's like better than that sounds psychotic, but literally getting on the microphone and talking to myself is the most exhilarating thing ever. Um, slightly being sarcastic. I don't know. I do feel really alive when I do this. Um, but this, this is it, to be honest, my, my favorite feeling or my most alive feeling is when I'm at a concert, when I'm in a crowd of people and there's music and energy and bass and lights and just craziness. Like I feel the most alive in those moments. And unfortunately, um, we have been robbed of that. So moving forward, I'd like to attend 50 fucking

concerts a year and do that every fucking weekend because I don't think I've ever felt more alive than at like a music festival or concert or something like that um so yeah next question I feel like I'm going so slow and what am I on question 12 13 I'm losing track of my question numbers because I just bold pointed these so I think I'm on 12 I just did what makes me feel most alive okay next question number 13 let's just call it 13 what is something I do differently than most people? Oh God. What is something I do differently than most people? Is there something weird I fucking do? I guess in terms of podcasting, I'm not a weekly podcaster. I'm a daily podcaster. So that's different. I'm so different. You know, I'm trying to differentiate. What's my,

what's my what's it called in uh marketing or whatever like how you differentiate yourself in the market my unique proposition what the fuck is it called terminology you know it's out the window again I'm not well versed on any one subject I should know more about I should know what that means that that term what's my differentiator I do it seven days a week that's different than most podcasters I would say but I guess what do I do differently the most people sometimes and I feel like I felt like an alien my whole life because I think I feel like I think different sometimes but a lot of people think different that's not most people though like I feel I don't want to be like oh I'm woke or oh I know what's up but like sometimes I see

situations. Here's what I do differently than some people. I won't say most people, but I just got blessed with, with the, I don't know how to say it. Like, I don't, I don't have fear and worry are really like, they're not, how do I say this? I don't struggle with anxiety and worry and fear and like getting worked up about situations like I'm pretty I guess I just don't think anything really matters that much and is that stupid to say I don't know you might think that but I'm the type of person where my I think differently than I'd say a lot of people that are hung up on small stuff and really like especially I remember you know like in jobs I've had my co-workers would be like and we'd be in training and they'd be like so

stressed out like oh my god oh my god and I and I'd be sitting there like kick back deep breathing like not even giving a fuck not overthinking and I think that's helped that served me really well in life where especially with the current events like I have this optimistic approach to everything where I know it sucks now but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel I do see like my brain works out situations through and through where I go okay if it sucks now what are the possible like outcomes the routes to some sort of positive outcome because it's not it's not going to just be a shit storm forever especially with the current um uh pandemic situation and shutdowns. Like that's, there's in my eyes, like it's going to get better. Okay. Somehow it's going

to get better. So I've worked out situations and scenarios and I've even talked about them on the show here about what I think is going to happen this, this year over the next, especially six months. But, um, I don't have like that Gary V optimism thing. Just there's always, there's always a, what did I write? I wrote this. I think it's on Instagram. I should probably delete it. sometimes I write stuff and I'm like oh god nobody cares but let me find it here I think I have a writing highlight it's basically about my like I'm not reasonable I think I wrote something like I'm not reasonable like it's not reasonable to do a podcast seven days a week right or it's not

whatever okay yeah I wrote I am not reasonable the question I'm on 13 what is something I do different than most people. This is what I wrote. I am not reasonable. Every great thing that has happened in my life is because I abandoned reason. I never say, yeah, but I can't because everything is possible. Why not me? I get everything I want in life because of this abundance mindset. That's what it's called, abundance mindset. I just reverse engineer the steps to get what I want and then go do it. For example, if I need more money to invest in something, I don't freak out about it at all. I know that I'm better at finding ways to make more money than thinking small, worrying, and saving up. My goal forces me to work harder

and I never feel trapped. I don't focus on the lack. I focus on the gain. I learned that from someone, by the way, I think I've talked about before. Like some people are just better at finding more ways to make money than worrying and saving up and thinking small like just work like do more push harder make like find a way to make more diversify your income like invest here do a side job do a side hobby like whatever it is versus doing one little thing having one stream of income and just saving and staying in that box like I don't know but I think that's like the what the Russell Wilson quote, why not us? Seahawks, you know, shout out Seahawks once again, RIP this year, but

you kind of have to have that why not me mentality. Like for podcasting, I keep saying I'm the one that I just happen to be the person that stepped up to the plate and said, I'll do it. I'll get on a microphone, talk about life and talk about shit and get on here seven days a week. I'll do it. Not everyone's called or not everyone's cut out for it, but I'm just the type of person that it's kind of like I'll do it I'll be a member of society on a fucking microphone entertaining people and that's what it is uh it's not necessarily reasonable doing this every day but I'm fucking doing it all right next question number 14 what am I great at this is kind of a long episode. Are you guys doing okay? Jesus. I got a Penske. What's that Penske? Penske

oil. Is that yellow truck outside? I don't know what those two construction guys were doing earlier, by the way. Um, the backwards hat and the old man. Like, I don't know what that was, but usually if you're new, I, I, people watch a lot on the show, but there hasn't, there hasn't been that much action today. So, okay. What am I great at? Fuck. podcasting I don't know I'm not I don't feel great at this I I'm great great at being consistent at it so far I proved that 130 days but um I think I'm great this is so hard like I saw this quote that was like name something you're you suck at most people can name like 10 things just immediately like I suck at this isn't this but when they're they're asked what are you great at

they struggle to answer because it's hard for people to come up most people think of like the stuff they need to improve you know we're all we're in the self-improvement era here in the United States all about like climbing the ladder getting better self-improvement achieve achieve achieve achieve strive strive goals goals goals right so people think in the in terms of like they are bad at something they need to get better at or do more work harder right but when it comes to asking what they're great at most people freeze and it takes them a second so I'd say yeah okay I'm consistent I'm good at being consistent at podcasting that's a new thing for me I can't say I suck at that because I've never missed a day

first thing I can think of I'm great at I feel like cooking baking I do feel great at that that um I feel like you know nothing see this is where I'm like insecure like I don't want to sound self-absorbed and full of myself and oh my god I'm so great but I notice that I think I'm good at putting people at ease like I'm I'm a good listener and especially with like friends and family I feel like I'm a good listener and I I make people feel seen and heard and I make them feel good about themselves like I'm I'm very I don't know like warm with people like good at just like chit-chatting to strangers making people feel good about themselves I think I'm good at that what's it called I have good social skills

fucking a see I don't want to say that because I sound self-absorbed but I've been told like that's something I have like good people skills I don't know I'm just gonna answer with answer with that number 15 am I a better person today than I was yesterday actually yeah yeah my arms are better arms than they were yesterday because yesterday I had um because see the yoga this is what I love okay again I know I'm talking about yoga a lot but every day you get a little bit better when you practice so I feel like there's little subtle differences my arms like I'm getting stronger and better at it um I don't know so I'm better at yoga than today than I was yesterday that's a fun thing to build and to grow and to get better at um yeah I think I am

I don't know how do you measure that how do you measure being a better person today than you were yesterday if it was literally like a Sunday a football Sunday hike day transition into a Monday work day? I don't know. I think so. I'm a little bit older and a little bit wiser. There you go. Number 16. Are you guys enjoying this? Again, I'm trying something new. I'm doing an entire podcast about 21 questions to ask yourself. You know, normally I go all over the place, but I'm trying to stay on a theme for this episode today to try it out. You guys, again, I'm learning and growing with the show. I don't, I'm not a pro at this. I don't know. I'm just trying to like, it's like a diary. I'm trying to reflect on myself right now. And maybe you guys can ask yourselves, ask

yourselves the same questions. I should have prompted you earlier. Like I'm going to ask myself these questions. You go ask yourself these questions too. Okay. Number 16. Am I living the life I want to be living minus the social life yes I feel like the only thing missing in my life is an abundant social life and travel like pretty much I'm solid on my own I love my lifestyle I have everything I want and need the great family like everything's perfect I'd say except the social and travel aspect where I'm not having a lot of you know late weekends going out doing fun stuff whisking around the world like I don't do much of that right now but other than that I feel like I am living my dream life um I think the podcast makes me feel like I'm living my dream

dream life too because my younger self would be like that's cool that's cool you're doing a podcast that's cool you used to want to be a youtuber but you chose the podcast thing here you go I mean, technically I am a YouTuber doing this Monday through Friday, but you know, whatever. Number 17, am I a human being or am I a human dying? Excuse me, doing. Am I being or doing? I do a lot of doing. That's a thing that you got to be conscious of. Am I being? Am I just existing and alive or am I doing I think I've got a good balance of both going on right now the doing is the grind the work the kind of the strenuous efforts well here's what I'll say about that you can be a human being and experiencing while you're doing

the strenuous stuff and the grind because if you're doing the grind and you're just going through the motions, you're doing it to cross it off and get it done. I think a good question to ask yourself is, are you enjoying this process? Are you having a, are you just living in the moment and having a fun experience while you're doing it? Or are you just grinding through it and doing it? So I think lately I've been more present, you know, all the good things with being present in the moment. I think that's, especially, I felt like that yesterday a lot. I did feel like that yesterday felt like a very present day um yeah I don't know I feel like I'm a little bit of both I strive to be a human being more than a human doing I think that's when you

get stressed out and depressed is if you just find yourself clock clocking in clocking out checking the box off doing it every single day you're just like going through the motions and then you're not like soaking in the soaking the sun in and just like taking in this amazing life you're like you're not savoring your life you're just grinding through it so I think that's what's positive about doing a show with by yourself I'm just here to recommend it left and right I could I could talk forever about being a solo podcast host but it makes you like this episode especially because I'm asking myself questions forces you to reflect and to kind of center yourself and be in the moment which I think is good for mental health a lot of people preach you know go to therapy get

a therapist talk therapy talk it out talk talk talk well talking to yourself is I'd say I want to say it's better but it's it's another option I know it's sad it's like she sits and talks to yourself, but fucking, I don't care. All right. Next question. Am I on 18? We're almost done here. What would I do differently if I knew no one would judge me? Is there something I don't do? Cause people would judge me. I mean, show up on this naked, like just be on the microphone with no top on, on fucking YouTube and just blur my tits the whole time. I don't know. Like, I can't think of something I do. That's like, what would I get judge for and I'm not doing it because I get judged um I don't know there's nothing I really

hold back on to be honest like if no one would judge me what would I do differently I don't know like I I honestly can't think of something what's something I do that or what's something I want to do but I hold back on I don't really so here's the positive thing to realize right now is that on the podcast I'm the most straight up no bullshit raw and real version of myself like this is no there's I'm not curating this or editing it at all so it's I'm not refraining from saying things like sometimes I tread light I tread lightly on topics and I don't talk about specific details because it's not important or it's too much um I don't want to talk about other people and like use their names or specific examples but for the most part I'm

just letting letting it all hang out just being honest so yeah I guess that's it um next question 19 we're almost done here what is one thing I could do today to improve my quality of life oh I know not watch tv up until the last second i pass out and watch ozark right before falling asleep i sleep great though you know that's the thing about sleep is i will have my phone i'll fry my eyeballs in front of my phone every single night and i'll have great sleep i have a whoop strap it tells me i'm recovering fine and i don't have like grogginess or anything weird I might lose my eyesight at 40 but that's not and I mean that's not anytime soon

so I don't know what could I improve my quality of life I could um call someone call a family member my grandma I could call her I could go just like go out to a restaurant tonight and talk to people or something or like meet up with someone and do that um improve my quality of life what would that entail I guess yeah people that would improve my quality of life because here's the thing I've got quality of life is like set it's like solid right now I mean other than my shitty car I feel like everything's good physically like environment wise like everything's fine I have a good like I have everything I need in my apartment I have food I have water I do have a car to drive that's positive it's not my

ideal car, but I have one. I have a good exercise routine. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I think the number one, the other area, the area I can improve would be social. I keep saying that. So yeah, I could go like grab some food with someone tonight or something. I don't know. Next question question 20. When's the last time I heard the words, I love you? Like heard, physically heard, like you heard it or you saw it in a text? Because my mom texted me this morning that she loves me. So that counts. But say on the phone with my mom, the last time I talked to her or my dad um I don't know I'd say like yeah recently my parents next question last question um there's like four here because I there's 24 questions but I'm only gonna do 21

I'm trying to pick one now am I holding on to something I need to let go of kind of deep yeah I am I think back to self-esteem and like my image and how I think of myself I think I'm holding on there's still a little bit of me that has the same beliefs and mindset around like who I am and things like how I come across my personality my voice like how I look you know I used to be pretty I used to be pretty hung up on that stuff and I think there's still a piece of me that it's still like those thoughts still creep around where I'm trying to right I'm not trying to I am nipping it in the ass now when I catch myself having those thoughts because now I'm like again I keep saying I feel really solid in who I am really confident and I like myself

more than ever it's not it's not ever a hundred percent but I think I'm still holding on to those past beliefs and and thoughts about myself where they're not true they're not useful they're just background noise that don't have any business being in my life, God forbid them, or how dare they. That takes a while. I don't think it's an overnight thing, but now it's all about reinforcing the positive beliefs I have about myself and then all the good things. And I think I mentioned yesterday, we got to brainwash ourselves this year. We got to really stay up, stay positive, no matter what's going on in the world, no matter what happens, we got to stay up. We got to push through it, focus on what we can control and keep ourselves going instead of like letting the world

events take over your psyche and make you feel like shit and like down. But same goes for your self-esteem. Like you really got to focus on the positive things you like about yourself and just send it, man. Just fucking send it. Fucking send it. All right. That's the 21 questions. That was kind of a long segment, I guess. Um, that's really all I've got for today's episode. I went into my daily update, what I did last night, this morning. Um, if you're curious what I'm going to do today, I'm going to work, take a little lunch break, go on a walk tonight to finish my 10,000 steps, um, make a good dinner, probably involving some fucking butternut, Butternut squash again. I love butternut squash. It's so good. Um, and yeah, I'll probably,

maybe I'll do something tonight. Like I said, get social, go out and do something. I don't know. Um, anyways, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. If you're new, uh, hit that subscribe button, head over to patreon.com slash TJMS to get access to my exclusive Patreon only content and subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'm here Monday through Friday. Just subscribe down below. I'm like looking at the camera. Subscribe somewhere down below.

By the way, my music guy, link in the description. It's my brother. He made my intro music, Rob Mom Music on SoundCloud. Click his profile, check him out. Follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Rowe and have a great Monday, a great week. And yeah, just send it. I guess that's what I'm going to end this on.

um whatever that means to you just send it all right guys love you have a great day and I'll talk to you tomorrow all right bye