The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 134- Putting Chocolate in My Body

Episode Date: January 16, 2021

lmaooooo. Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hi, happy Friday. It's episode 135. Welcome back to the show. okay so this is how I know I'm PMSing right now trigger warning trigger first of all I don't feel like doing hi I'm Jacqueline welcome back to the show go to my Patreon subscribe to the pod I don't feel like doing that right now I just got to tell you guys why I know I'm PMSing sorry again I know I have like 90% males listening, but hear me out. I just had dinner. I had basically a giant salad with avocado, a chopped up butternut squash. It was great. Super healthy, filling, amazing.

It was like going back to November when I was eating all my squash, all my fucking gourds. Because it's, you know, gourd season and pilgrim season. I was eating a lot of harvest-style bowls. So I eat the dinner. And immediately, my body says this. Feed me chocolate now. Okay. So that's what my body said.

and I I went into girl scout mode or I'll just say I went into boy scout mode whatever you got to do or whatever makes sense in your head boys listening I went into boy scout mode I was like where's the chocolate in this household how can I get it into my body as fast as possible I ate a savory dinner and immediately wanted something sweet and I could clock this guys I could clock this back till seven or did I get my period in eighth grade I was a late bloomer yeah I think I got it in eighth grade I could clock this back a decade or so how long how am I alive for three to two decades fuck I could clock this back a long time because it's on it's on it's on repetition it's on a pattern you know what I'm saying girls out there you probably can relate

to this and I noticed it hard tonight I was like oh I know what's coming this makes sense I want chocolate I wonder why because normally I'm like it's here nor there you know so whatever I'm like I'm okay so I went on a mission the only chocolate I have in my house is cacao powder okay a baking powder a chocolate baking powder I got it at grocery outlets on sale usually I buy it on Amazon but it was because you know a lot of these superfood powders are like $18.99 for seven ounces and I'm like fuck that I don't I just can't get myself to buy expensive powders and spirulinas and fucking goji berries and wild fucking spice shit mushroom what is it called like mushroom lion's mane mushroom powder like I just don't like investing in that shit because I think

you know I don't know I used to nerd out about it and now I'm just like I don't give a fuck these powders are just a waste of my money so I had cacao powder let me get back to what I was talk about. I, guys, and by the way, I'm not going to do the intro. I'm not going to introduce myself. I don't feel like doing that tonight. I just feel like telling a story about why I know I'm PMSing. I'll tell you a little bit about my day. I'm wearing an Apple watch right now that I just got. I got a lot to tell you guys about. I got Amanda Knox on my TV, watching Amanda Knox right now. Neighbors are smoking a lot of weed. It's coming through the vent. It's Friday night. okay so I have cacao powder and I was like fuck I go to my phone I'm like fuck this cacao powder

I'm going on Postmates right okay so I had to re-download it because I I've decided I wasted money last year big surprise I feel like a lot of us did with our Postmating uh food in all those deliveries. We all just burned our money. So I deleted the app. I had to re-download it to go on a browse. See, here's the thing. Am I going to admit how lazy I am? Okay. I could have gotten in my car, driven 30 fucking seconds, or honestly gone on a walk for a minute. I could I could have showed up to showed up to an ice cream spot a gas station popped popped a couple candy bars in like a Reese's cup like I could have gotten something quickly but instead I downloaded Postmates and I went on a browse and I'm not bullshitting around when I say this

I was on the app for 30 fucking minutes looking at every dessert option I was on Cheesecake factory I was on yogurt land I was going on like gastropub fucking menus scrolling down to the bottom where the desserts are looking for some sort of like chocolate cake okay I was in deep for 30 minutes and then I I this is what I was telling you guys about what was it a couple days ago I said I when I was talking about noticing okay I was like I'm I'm nipping my I'm nipping shit in the ass that's unproductive and unhelpful I sat there for 30 fucking minutes wasted my life on a mission to eat something sweet after my dinner and because I don't have any I have apples fuck that I have one banana left frozen blueberries

I have uh maple syrup we'll get into the maple syrup we will be discussing that in about five minutes this is going to be all about my how I'm knowing how I know I'm PMSing and what I did tonight that's gonna be the episode I don't give a fuck um if you're new just I don't know go listen to a previous episode. This is not the normal routine. I just don't feel like doing the normal shit. So 30 minutes into Postmate browsing, I downloaded DoorDash too. I was cross comparing. I was cross comparing restaurants, discounts, delivery fees. I was fucking in, I was in deep. Okay. I went to my email. I got a DoorDash $10 coupon thing. I was like, you know what? Maybe like I fucking was in it 30 minutes later I'm so mad at myself I am so mad at myself I am

disgusted with myself and threw my fucking phone on my ottoman because I'm like laying back on my couch one leg on the top of the couch one leg on the ottoman like pillow under my ass it in this vulnerable position in my apartment no pants fucking big t-shirt looking for some fucking chocolate laying on my back on Postmates I was so disgusted with myself so disgusted so threw my phone on the ottoman I went to the kitchen I was like fuck you Postmates you're not taking my money fuck you DoorDash you're not taking my money I'm committed to making a change and, and not, um, being a lazy fuck and downloading and having food delivered to my fucking front step. That's going to take, I don't know, an extra, it'd be like an extra $10

on top of what I would have already paid for a pint of ice cream or something. And then it's going to take another hour, an hour longer than it should. So again, I'm just, I wasn't going to do it. So through my phone, don't forget about that cacao powder I mentioned. Okay. I walked into my kitchen and I was like, yep, we're going to do something budget fucking friendly right now. We're going to do the budget. We're going to do a budget friendly dessert tonight. We're going to make it up. We're not really sure how we're going to turn this cacao powder into something edible. I don't have anything. I couldn't make a brownie out of it I didn't have any ingredients other than fucking cacao powder I had a little salt

okay which is I didn't use it actually I don't know why I said that I had a little vanilla and uh that maple syrup okay guys I put literally a half a cup of cacao powder I was trying to make a mug brownie right so I started out I put like cacao powder I think the serving size recommendation is like two tablespoons and I was like fuck it I'm dumping like I made the so I had a little white mug filled half of it with half of it with cacao powder I don't know what that's gonna do to my body but I feel fine right now um do I sound fine no this this episode is so out of character I filled the mug halfway

full of cacao powder and then I was like okay I don't have an egg I ran out of all my eggs so I couldn't really make a mug brownie where you put an egg in there you know what I mean and like mix it and just microwave it have you guys seen those on buzzfeed like tasty you know all over your facebook page when you're scrolling like all over the internet there's these little cute how-to videos on mug cakes okay I didn't have any options I didn't have a way to do that so I was like all right well I this is bitter this is disgusting I can't eat this powder how do I make this powder edible because my body wants chocolate now it's been over 30 minutes since I've wanted it I need to figure this out quickly this is what it's like being a girl honestly sometimes you get these

fucking cravings out of nowhere and you know it's coming you know it's coming in a few days and you're just like goddamn and you wonder why like I always reflect back and go oh four days ago I was hungry as fuck and I don't know why it was so weird like I was just hungry I wanted sweets oh my god literally the day before I'm crying and I don't know why so all these things proceed or come before your period it's just what happens in my case I'm a very I'm a regular bitch you know what I mean? I don't have, do you guys, do you guys want me to talk? I don't, you know what? Emma Chamberlain talks about her period way too much. And I feel like not way too much. It's like her brand. She's always talking about, I don't want to do that. I don't want to discuss to you

guys. I don't want to bring you into my, um, body and like explain it, but I'm just like a normal, regular chick. I was blessed with no cramps. Okay. That's a blessing. I never, I don't know what cramps feel like I'm a other than that just pretty regular chick anyways so I'm like how do I make this cacao powder edible how do I make this into something dessert like so I can get this chocolate in my body as soon as possible so I take out my little tablespoon fucking measuring stick my little fucking measuring what's it called my little teaspoon tablespoon fucking thing and I go to the bottom of my fridge you open my door in the fridge and then at the bottom I have so many I have like teriyaki sauce margarita mix which is not really supposed to be in there I feel

like it was in the freezer and I put it in the fridge I don't even have any tequila I have nothing to go with it it's just there from this summer I have this Trader Joe's sauce that's like old I definitely need to throw away it's the Aleppo sauce and I don't know it's down there and then I have a jug of what's it called maple syrup so I get my little tablespoon I'm like you know what I know it's sugar but it's natural it's from a tree it's Canadian this will be okay I dump a couple tablespoons like literally probably two or three tablespoons I maybe I'm trying to be conservative because I'm embarrassed but guys understand this understand this when you're working on the fly with minimal ingredients it's embarrassing

what what you come up with okay it's embarrassing just imagine I was on chopped and these were the ingredients I was given in my basket and I have to wow the judges right now I was impressed by what I ended up doing but it sounds fucking weird I put this maple syrup I put the maple syrup in the mug with the cacao powder then I was like all right I know when you make brownies and shit you got to put a little vanilla in there so I put vanilla guys that's it that's it I started stirring it took like five minutes because the powder wasn't dissolving into the maple syrup it was like taking forever I was like I think I know what's gonna happen right now it turned into fucking frosting it turned into the

most delicious dark chocolate frosting paleo fucking maple syrup all natural cacao powder super food fucking grocery outlet coming through with a cacao powder on sale for $7.99 like the little vanilla from Trader Joe's like it turned into this beautiful mug of frosting like beautiful decadent rich it was like taking a shot of like the most intense chocolate flavor possible and that's all my body needed I had one big heaping fucking spoonful that and I was like that's it that's it I'm good that all happened within an hour probably like 45 minutes but I just thought I'd share you share with you guys how I know I'm PMSing because that is so out out there that is so out there of me to be that committed in that like like having that I need this now with food

like I'm usually like if it's not in the house I'm like I can just sleep it off I'll get it tomorrow like if I if I'm craving a donut at 9 p.m. I'm like you know what I'll just sleep and then wake up go on a little walk and pick a donut up you know I'm not like I have to get it now oh but tonight was a different story so um I just thought I'd share uh what just happened now I'm recording my podcast this is episode 134 it's Friday like I said I have a few updates guys today was a work day I'll be honest I feel like weekends are heavy work well depends lately the weekends have been heavy work days for me which doesn't make sense because it's the weekend but I don't I tend to like get productive on Friday nights especially

like after I finish recording this I know I'm just gonna work more so doesn't make sense don't ask questions like Jacqueline why aren't you going out it's Friday night why don't you have a social alive like what are you doing going to work on a Friday night this is why I'm successful this is where champions are made working on the weekend like usual way deep and like wait what's the Drake song I gotta pull it up here let's get the audio on I hope you guys enjoy that little chocolate story Charlie I'm fucking charlie and the chocolate factory tonight i'm fucking willie wonka drake wait working on the weekend youtube.com dude inauguration's coming up in five days what's happening all right

drake working on the weekend what's this song called again copyright infringed life is good copyright infringement probably i don't know how it works is anyone like either in love with the State Farm guy or annoyed by him like I'm on the fence and I don't know how I feel about him he's always in the football commercials during football games here we go this is such a great music video so yeah that's what I'm doing could be working on the weekend tonight I don't know but anyways let me get into my day let me cut to the chase it was a work day I woke up took a morning walk out by the water and uh ate coffee you know like had a normal morning

like walk coffee time session with myself came home I've been really into these drills these yoga drills lately so I did a few of those because to me like yoga isn't just doing a flow where you're going through a posture like you're going through like an hour-long session a lot of yoga can be like rolling around your mat doing like pulsing motions to like open your hip joints up and like relax them more like what is it called I don't know like working on your range of motion and strengthening in your range of motion or whatever like I like to do that so this morning I worked on some yoga drills after my walk and uh just like got to work had a meeting zoom meeting worked more I went so my break today was I went to CVS because you guys know how my dermatologist

reprimanded me about having literally like three razor bumps if you're new if you're like what are you talking about I went to the dermatologist the other day and she acted disgusted that I had razor bumps because I panic shaved before I went because I was I forgot I had the dermatology appointment so I panicked I was like oh my god I gotta like hurry through I had to like hurry through the podcast hurry around to get ready for it so it was like a full body scan right my annual thing so I panic shaved really quickly I did use a brand new razor which is interesting anyways I got like a rat like a little bump situation and I stripped down took off my gown and she took one look at it and she's like I think it's clindamycin or some shit she's like

you'll be putting this on for four weeks or like I have to like put on this cream on my crotch like literally I felt like shit when I left I thought razor bumps happen it's a normal thing and she recommended she immediately was like okay you'll be putting this ointment on and you're gonna get laser hair removal she's like you need laser hair I'm like bitch are you funding that that's actually one of my goals this year I'd like to start that process if possible we'll see I have a lot of goals this year with like I don't know like my hair is not where I want it to be yet my blonde hair like one of my goals this year is to get my hair like fully blonde how I want it so I guess I guess in terms of aesthetics like a couple I have a few

goals I guess my hair would be a goal I've been really working on my skin I'm proud of that I've been like taking really good care of my skin never skipping my SPF never skipping taking my makeup off like I'm really good at my skin right now and then I guess like it'd be awesome to get laser hair removal done so anyways but yeah so I had to go to CVS let me just tell you my work break today was I went to get my ointment for my crotch it's not really my crotch it's like you know I'm like the bikini line so and here's the thing I panic shaved I showed up there were some rashes she was triggered by as a dermatologist she was disgusted like this should not be red this should not there should not be razor bumps you should have baby soft perfect skin that is not normal

that is a bacterial infection you will be putting ointment on it and literally it's gone now like I don't even need this ointment you know I went and like spent I don't know it was like 10 bucks for my prescription of it shout out having your own health insurance makes everything like you it's crazy how I have my own health insurance and I'm off of my parents but like it's whenever I show up to buy to like buy a prescription it's like a dollar it's like less than ten dollars I'm like fuck yeah he was bitching about I feel like I I think I have good health care I think I have good health care because I'm always surprised when they tell me the price I'm like oh it's not like $200 oh I don't owe my doctor like fuck like I don't know you know what I mean I don't understand

I still really don't understand how it works but so anyways I went to CVS I like picked up my ointment and then I thought my Apple watch was gonna get delivered to my doorstep like I just assumed like oh guys I sound so fucking like even what I said to the guy when I picked up my apple watch I just feel weird about it not to say like oh I feel like I'm acting like stuck up and privileged and oh my god I got my apple watch and I went to the dermatologist and she I don't know I just feel weird about saying it because guys Christmas presents are a thing my mom got me an apple watch for Christmas I was the one family member without one and she said would you love an Apple, or would you, you know, use one? Would you like it? And I was like, fuck yeah. I've like

always wanted one. So anyways, I had to get my Apple watch. I thought it was going to show up to my doorstep. So I was kind of waiting. I was like, okay, it's like, you know, 2 PM. Where's it at? Then I checked my email, ended up going to UPS. What's it called? Like drop-off location, which was literally a surf shop in town. So anyways, I'm in my slippers. I had my slippers tie-dye tie-dye sweatpants a sports bra hair in a bun mask my white sunglasses I mean I literally look like Britney Spears 2007 with with hair my slippers are like cheetah print fluffy like I look like you know okay I had my big fluffy sheep coat on and I had to drive to this location to pick up my apple watch now when you live in a city

there's you know parking's a bit it's a bitch now I thought I was close to the surf shop turns out I was like three blocks away okay so I got out of my car thinking it was like I don't know just right there because my map app on my phone my GPS thing was being weird I don't know like I the little dot it said the the pickup location was out was not there so I ended up walking three blocks looking like a fucking psychopath in my outfit 80 degree weather by the way it was hot as fuck I I live inside most I work inside you know I don't know how hot it is until I like actually set foot out my front door so I was overdressed for the weather today walk three blocks looking I felt insane but I was also like it's a global pandemic it's like crazy is the new

normal fuck it I don't give a shit um people are out like running and walking in their shorts and sports bras and I'm like in my fucking big ass coat and slippers and sweatpants. Like it was a joke. So I walk into the surf shop and I was like so confused. I'm like, okay, why am I not at UPS picking this up? Why wasn't this delivered to my front door? Is it because it's an Apple product and it needs like a special location, like a secret location for pickup because it's like a fancy item. I don't know. I've never had this happen before with a delivery. So walk into the surf shop and it's just like a bunch of like Cali boys, you know, and I'm just like looking around.

And I was like, is this a UPS pickup spot? And they're like, yeah, yeah. What's your last name or what's your name? And do you have your ID? And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And you know, of course they are hitting me with a small talk. What you doing today? And I'm like, I'm picking up an Apple watch. My mom sent me an Apple watch. I just felt disgusting when I said that. And I was trying to like, keep it short. I was trying to get my watch, get out. And anyway, so I picked it up and busted that thing open in my car. I was so excited to wear it. And then I realized you have to charge it first. So I put the fucking USB in my car and charged it on the way to CVS. Like I, well, I went there before CVS. I didn't tell you guys that. Are these details

interesting. I don't know. I charged my Apple watch, like immediately set it up, synced it to my phone. I was like doing it while I was driving. It was bad. Okay. Not proud of that. Shouldn't say I did that, but okay. Then I came home and guys, what is this podcast? What even happened today? Okay. I came home, worked more, put on my little walking shoes. I was going to go on a little sunset walk around the city Friday night look at people see you know the neighbors and shit so yeah I like to have people watch I like to go on walks and just pretend everyone is like my potential new best friend and I'm like scouting you know what I mean I'm just scouting the city seeing who's cool who's hip who's there who I see repeatedly like who am I seeing every day

like who am I finally gonna say hi to you know what I mean because it's like a small town where I live it's really fun like this city is growing on me every single day every single day literally because the other day I fucking finally walked into it and explored like I should have a fucking year ago like I finally went to the hot spots of like where people are at hanging in hanging out every weekend so anyways I put on my little shoes and I went outside immediately ran into my neighbor um she's a 20 year old chihuahua who is just cute little tiny it looks like a little peanut like its body looks like the shape of a peanut with little legs on it and anyways it's out like walking around I think it's blind anyways it's like walking around the sidewalk you know she's

just sitting there we end up talking for a good 30 to an hour about everything like life updates because I haven't talked to her since before I left to Washington. So we were talking about current events, Donald Trump. We were talking about dogs. We were telling so many dog stories, pet stories, like cow slaughtering stories. Um, just like a lot of pet stories, a lot of dying animal stories, cutting chickens head off stories. It was a good time. We, we had a great talk and it was fulfilling like we just really hashed it out we were talking a lot about our childhood childhoods I understand she's like pushing 70 and I don't know I just like talking to older people it makes me feel good I feel like they're they're just just full of all that good

that that that wisdom that life experience it's fun to like suck out of them and they love talking and so I just let her have the floor most of the time and she's very entertaining so we had a great talk uh end of the talk uh or by the end of the conversation she definitely talked me into getting a dog we were talking about having one in an apartment how she deals with it and how she you know and I'm looking around like all of the neighbors are out walking their dogs everyone lives in an apartment they can do it they don't have yards you know but there's so much space to like walk your dog and there's dog parks so I'm really warming up to the idea now I think this is gonna be the year I think it's gonna be the year I finally do it and I know at the beginning

of the show I had told you guys that I really wanted a cat because I thought it'd be low maintenance you know wouldn't be so much to deal with and I won't have to take it out to walk twice you know like I won't have to really do much with it especially if I leave and so fuck that I got to take on more responsibility I think that'd be good for me I need to nurture something that needs a lot of attention and um care and I think a little puppy would be I mean look my grandparents have three kids at this age I'm now what I'm 20 almost 27 wait what am I 26 I'm 26 and I don't have any like kids and like nothing to nurture so I'm like it's fucking my plants aren't doing it for me so I'm gonna adopt a dog I'm definitely gonna get one this year knock on wood I don't

know why I'm doing that. That's not, you don't do that when you promise to get something or make a plan to get something. I just like want to so bad, probably by the summer, maybe fall. I'm not ready right now, but I, you know, anyways, so I talked to her, went on a walk, um, explored the city, you know, no one, I see the thing is when you walk in the city, like I'm starting to notice like there's like a certain type of crowd where I live and I feel like they're the same people that are always at the same places hanging out the same spots it's like they're in they're in a routine because they live there and I think I want to join that club so I feel like the more I get out walk around and mingle like the more I'll you know work myself in to these cool groups of

You know, guys, I need a social life. This is disgusting. Friday night. Friday night, I chose to do a podcast. I chose to tell a fucking Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory story about myself instead of being like a normal mid-20s chick on a Friday night. with girlfriends activities to do people to see places to go wine to drink late nights to have like what the fuck am I doing so it's a joke so I'm trying to let you guys in on the journey I'm on and the steps I'm taking towards that that goal of mine to be the socialite of San Diego okay the socialite like everyone knows my name I'm friends with everyone I have so much going on I'm just out there I'm mingling I got shit to do people to see places to go baby steps okay and it's not a social anxiety thing honestly I was thinking about that like do I just have like weird social anxiety I'm not aware of and it's really not that it's just I'm

such a good place with my alone aloneness where I don't even think about it until I walk out and see a bunch of people hanging out and doing fun stuff in the city I'm like oh that's what I should do that looks fun that kind of looks more fun than what I'm doing now because I'm so content with my routine my little day-to-day life not much going on and then I don't know but I do have plans this weekend um I don't know like I I basically thought I had COVID last weekend I did I had to delay plans and this weekend I plan on saying yes so um probably tomorrow or Sunday I will be with a person hanging out not alone baby steps guys it's I'm going places with my with my social life you just you just gotta hang in there with me give me just give me like a good a good

six months I don't know I'm such a talker though like when I was talking to my neighbor I'm like you're 70 you're talking the whole time we're telling all these stories that are just like fucking all over the place because she's just like that it's so entertaining and I'm like chiming in and I'm like I just want to talk to people all day long all day long I already do a podcast by myself like I can carry a conversation alone like I just want when I wake up so this is why I need 12 kids or I need a huge family I need a lot of people around me because all I want to do is talk to people that's it any job I've had I don't like I just like the meetings I know people shit on meetings I'm the person the meeting excited to be at the meeting this is where we get to come

together and talk and shoot the shit and like get off task and talk about like what we did this weekend and just like fucking you know so anyways okay so I walked came home oh yeah guys I had Amanda Knox on my tv she uh was interviewed by Whitney Cummings so I watched the part one of the amanda knox interview on good for you whitney's podcast and uh i don't know how to feel i don't know how to feel when her trial was going on when all that went down i think i was wait what year was it i knew i i always saw the tabloids boxy knoxy or whatever um amanda knox trial what what was the date oh nine so I was like a freshman in high school

and I knew about I like heard about it I didn't know what happened exactly I know there was a murder but I didn't really have a pulse on the situation I don't really know what's going on and I still like I I've just known about her and like kind of knew what happened like I recalled her doing like gymnastics which was odd and they thought that was weird and like she didn't like react appropriately for the situation I knew about that so anyways I finally so as I was watching Whitney interview her I was on Google just like reading about the what happened I was like holy shit and I don't want to feel I don't know how to feel like I just look at her I'm like there's no way there's no way but then I was like I was thinking and

here's the thing I'll say about Amanda Knox she's probably one of the brightest women I've ever heard speak like she's smart and I know she has her own podcast Labyrinths I need to start listening to that because I feel like she's gonna just wow me even more on that show it's okay it's like when you know, someone was convicted, she's an exoneree. Okay. She got out. It's great. She's living a decently normal life now compared to being in prison forever. But it's kind of hard as a, just like a normal person just here in this world to know that someone was involved in something that wasn't really black and white. And you're looking at her and you're like, I love her. she's so smart and funny and cool and like I could be friends with her and yet there's this

murder tied to her name and it's so weird to like see a person in society and and like not really know what to feel because you there's so many people out there that think she did it that she committed that murder and then there's people that are like you know there's that she's innocent and it didn't happen so it I don't know I haven't really looked into it too much to to uh formulate my own solid opinion but just from this interview with Whitney I'm like damn she's a cool chick so shout out Amanda Knox um I think she's doing cool things and she's helping people now in the prison system and I don't know okay she's like okay so anyways I had that on tv made dinner and then my fucking whatever that chocolate fucking mug situation was I'm so I'm so disgusted with

myself I'm just disgusted mostly about my postmates browse session like that's in it that is so wrong or I feel like it's wrong when you don't pull the trigger and actually order something but when you're just there browsing and you're like I just want something that's sweet I don't know what I did I'm like downloading DoorDash and like using a coupon there and then I'm back on Postmates and like that is why I'm disgusted with myself I could care less about what I did with that fucking maple syrup I could care less about that I mean that was all like you know that was creative I was on chopped tonight in my own kitchen in fact guys I really want to do this I think I'm gonna do this might be a patreon video patreon.com slash tjms that's my patreon

where you can support the show uh become a member and you get all my exclusive content all my extra videos and pictures and you get a shout out people get phone calls it's great but I was thinking for patreon I could do a chopped episode where I record myself taking random ingredients and throwing it together. Oh my god, why am I burping? It's probably that fucking cacao powder. I'm dying. All right, just had to let that pass, you know, just let the air come out of my body. Sorry. so I was thinking of doing a chopped a chop style episode where I or video for my patreon where I have you guys vote on random ingredients and then I record myself trying to make something with it like I think the other day I mentioned mayonnaise pop rocks chili and I don't know

fucking fruit loops I don't know like random stuff that doesn't make sense I was gonna make a video or I want to make a video where I'm making it like a chopped episode okay um so yeah I'm not anyways I own it I own what I did tonight I feel good about myself otherwise like I had a great day it was a productive day I got outside I talked to strangers today I was out in nature got my steps in my apple watch says I'm doing well I got my uh blood oxygen level let's do it right now start 15 seconds i gotta rest my arm here rest your wrist on rest your wrist on your lap i think or your

i think i was moving too much blood o2 levels unsuccessful measurements because i'm fucking podcasting let's do it again apparently this is a life-saving device here if i'm having a heart attack, it'll know. It'll alert the authorities. Okay. Dismiss. Start. 15 seconds. I'm not going to talk because I think it's going to fuck it up. Five, four, three, two, one. 99% bitch. I think that's good. Blood oxygen, 99%. Isn't that good? I feel like 100% is the best. I'm proud of that does that mean I'm not a smoker I got I told you guys about my lung issues I had two years ago I think already about vaping yeah I did I don't know what episode that is but just

know I was unable to breathe for two days and I had to quit dueling and it was very it was a destructive two years of my life I'll just say that nicotine addiction is very real and it is destroying the youth of America and their lungs and um just wait for the studies to come out like didn't it take them 50 years with tobacco to finally say or to finally come up with a campaign or create a campaign that was like this causes lung cancer and it's gonna kill you and all these chemicals are fucking terrible for your body and don't smoke they're like vaping is too new and then in like 20 or 30 years there's gonna be there there's gonna be like a don't smoke campaign or like a thing about vaping because there already kind of is there's like evidence

that it's creating popcorn lung it's like putting holes in people's lungs there are people like these kids lungs are collapsing it's horrible but I feel like the vaping is gonna be interesting to watch over the next few decades to see like what happens to people and their bodies. Cause I don't know. I was a vapor for two years and just fuck. But anyways, according to my Apple watch, my blood oxygen is doing great. I think that has to do with your lungs. Anyways, this thing's great. I'm excited to walkie-talkie my family um oh shit guys I hit a goal in my stock portfolio today and I'm just I just want to say that if you haven't figured out the stock market if you're not investing your money in the stock market or just even a little

bit of money just like a little bit of money what are you doing what are you doing figure it out figure it out best decision I ever made in 2020 was researching and studying the stock market and understand like trying to figure it out how to get involved um but today was a really exciting Friday I was like fuck yeah hit a new mile or hit a new like what is it called milestone target portfolio goal for myself and that was exciting so all around a great day blood oxygen's doing great. Got my chocolate fix. Holy shit. It's finally in my body. Uh, it was a journey, but it finally got in my system. I, yeah, I dunno. Happy Friday. That's the episode. Um, tomorrow I'm going to probably wake up early and hike. I just feel like I'm a weekend hiker. I I'm a,

I'm a, I'm a basic bitch in that way. I like to wake up on the weekend early and hike been doing that now for a while so yeah I just I just feel good you know what I feel good okay I feel good I feel very productive I feel like I am on the cusp I have okay this is why I know I feel good okay who gives like again what is this episode I'm just trying to take you through my mind right now whenever I'm doing the best in life I have momentum in all areas of everything I'm doing that's let me explain like so momentum meaning we're gonna start we're gonna start small we're gonna start small okay basic shit like always getting my dishes done no matter what always taking my garbage out never

letting it sit by my door like I did in 2020 for two days always making my bed always doing my skincare routine like always um like staying off my phone and being productive um staying on top of my like deep cleaning uh schedule with my apartment like staying on top of all my little personal details my like personal finances all that so those are like the me things that are just fucking rock solid right now in 2021 so I have momentum there like it's all going well I'm not slipping in any areas like I'm really just killing the game and we could transition that over to another personal thing which is like you know my healthy lifestyle my healthy fucking lifestyle has momentum right now coming out of the uh month home at mom's house eating cookies

for a month and shit and I've been eating like you know back I've been eating my normal food again fairly healthy or just like fairly like less sugary except for tonight's fucking maple syrup dumping. But you know what I mean? Like I'm, I feel like I've been really healthy lately with my food intake coming out of like the Christmas diet. So I have momentum there. I feel really good about my smoothies, my like healthy dinners I've been making. So momentum there. And then moving over to like okay the podcast is just like a given fucking tsunami of momentum never missed a day never fucking missed a day doing this episode 134 134 days in a row tsunami of momentum so just like quickly check that off podcast tgms fucking killing the game

and then it's like work honestly a tsunami is coming like I've been really pushing myself with my job lately and I feel like I have a lot of momentum there it's like building right now in a good way and I feel really confident about my job and what I've been up to so there's that and then honestly my stocks are doing like I'm working that really well I'm doing um my socializing has been up okay I've been mingling in public which is nice like I have been like you know chumming up the neighbors out in the city talking to people so that's been nice and I've been talking to people on the internet more like actually like having back and forth conversations and dms and like actually like talking to people regularly again um this

sounds so sad but I feel like I'm building in that way I mean the other night I was on the phone for five fucking hours with someone talk yeah I'm just like building momentum with my social life um what other areas so this is what I'm trying to say fitness yoga momentum as fuck like I've been doing yoga every single day without fail I that was a goal of mine it was like beginning of December I did yoga for an entire month and I haven't stopped since so I feel like there's momentum there but this is what I'm trying to say whenever I'm doing well in life everything like it like so every positive action I take creates a domino effect or like if if I'm slipping a lot okay fuck do you guys understand

what I mean like if you're slipping in a certain area you might start slipping in other areas of your like daily shit so when everything's firing on all cylinders I just feel really productive and positive and happy and I feel like once you get on that wave I guess maturity and growth is knowing that in the past you've gotten off the wave and you've had to build back up again and it sucks so this time around stay on the fucking wave so 2021 is all about riding the wave stick keeping my momentum not falling and slipping back and it will happen like it's inevitable I'm not gonna always be on point but just having that on the forefront of my brain and focusing on it is gonna be uh

a big part of my year and uh it's all about just you know what and honestly selfishly right now I know that was a lot that was just like a big-ass mouthful about momentum and goals and being on top of my shit but selfishly like me sitting here and taking the time with myself to say that out loud is better than writing it in a fucking journal I'm solidifying it in my brain I'm like making it I'm turning it into my reality like whenever you speak something out I feel like manifest into reality whatever that phrase is like fucking roomie or osho or legolas who's the fucking your thoughts become your words your words become your actions your actions become your i don't know who says that anyways one of the philosopher dudes um but yeah so that's what

just did there again what's this podcast I don't know I just again it's my podcast it's my show whatever I work stuff out on the fly like that and you guys get a little inside look in my brain and how I think but this is a survival mechanism like on a survival tool for me this show is literally my way of taking control and taking my power back in it with myself and saying I'm going to do this I'm going to be successful I'm going to accomplish my goals I'm going to ride the wave of momentum this year I'm not going to get off track if I come and show up every day on the show and work this out it's going to help me get there so hi that was that was probably embarrassing looking back in a few years I'll look back and be like that was fucking embarrassing you just

told the world that you fucking I don't know you you spoke out your fucking plan but anyways all right love you guys have a great weekend if you're I'll be here Saturday and Sunday but if you don't tune in I'll talk to you Monday I'll talk to you next week stay safe out there I hear this, uh, this new COVID strain as a, has a, what is it? 30, 40%. It's 40% more contagious or some shit. I don't know. I don't know. Just stay safe out there. You don't want to get it. Maybe you do. I don't fear it. I don't even think, honestly, I don't even think about it. Do you guys think about COVID anymore? I don't. Is that ignorant? But I just honestly, like I, I said stay safe it's the week and I'm like just please stay safe um so yeah go ahead and subscribe

to the podcast I'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash tjms to become a patron it's the only place you can access my exclusive content and uh yeah go check it out um follow me on Instagram and, uh, I just posted two pics tonight. No caption. I'm just like not about the bio and the captions anymore. I'm just not. Say less. I think saying less says more than saying something. Is that a power move? Is that a power move? No caption, no bio. Fuck yeah. I don't care. I just get annoyed with bios. I'm like, why am I trying to say this about myself? It's probably better for business to let everyone know I'm a podcast host, but I just don't really care that much I feel like I just don't it's let me bring you in on that really quick

because I deleted my bio I just have a I have a link to Spotify I don't know I don't feel like it's not that I'm not it's not that I'm trying to hide it I'm not I mean I mean the link is right there but I don't know for some summary for some reason saying I have a podcast feels like I'm showing off or like I'm full of myself or like I it's self-serving because it's my own it's self-titled and which is I shouldn't care but I think it's kind of it's kind of baller to not have a bio I don't think Kylie Kylie Jenner has a bio so I don't want a bio and she's like a mogul she's a fucking mogul but everything she does speaks for itself I mean just like look at her Instagram but maybe I can follow in her footsteps with no bio and uh just keep

I don't know until it comes to me I just don't feel like writing anything and I don't like capture sometimes I just don't want to capture my photos so I don't and you just have to interpret interpret what the and what the picture means to you and a picture is worth a thousand words and I have nothing to say about them myself but anyways go check it out follow me on Instagram, subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'm doing the Q and a tomorrow for Saturday. So go over to Instagram and ask me a question. I'll answer it tomorrow for the episode. And if you listen to this episode, this is your homework, screenshot it and post on your story, tag me or whatever. And I will repost you share the good news. All right, guys, that's it. Have

a great weekend and I'll talk to you tomorrow. All right. Bye.