The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 139- I Got A Puppy

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

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Hey guys, it's episode 139. I got a new president and a puppy today. Welcome back to the show You guys, it happened. It happened. I'm sitting next to my little angel, my little eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, beautifully sleeping next to me. I could cry right now. Everything worked out. I have a puppy. It's official. I am a single mom. Guys, I have to tell you some crazy shit that happened today. Like the universe, God, whatever, whatever you want to call it. I'm going to tell you a crazy story. I'm going to tell you about, tell you about adopting the puppy, like the whole process, taking him home for the first time, how he's been acting so far. has he taken his first shit yet has he eaten has he drank water like I'll give you all of his vitals

I'll let you know what he's been up to um so we'll talk about that and then just like briefly talk about my morning and what I did today it's like boring it's like a middle of the week work day update which is not that exciting because I have a new puppy sitting next to me I want to talk about he's sleeping through this right now he's maybe my voice is soothing maybe my voice puts him to sleep I don't know so here's what happened today I woke up I got to sleep early last night I tried my best to get good sleep because I don't know if I'll be up you know in the middle of the night tonight with him like I just assume it's like a newborn baby you know new puppies the first couple days are a bit a bit rough to adjust to you just have to like do what they want and if they wake

up in the middle of night need a pee or like whatever you kind of have to roll with the punches. So I got good sleep. Um, woke up, uh, this is already boring. Like I just want to talk about taking them home and like get to this afternoon when I picked him up basically at a work morning. Right. And I've been feeling good lately with my job. Like everything's been going really well. Um, I don't talk much about what I do, but, uh, I just have this new, like, I guess energy and excitement behind it and everything I've been up to lately. So I just feel like I'm in a good place with work. Um, but here's, I'll just cut to the chase. I want to tell the story quickly of what happened. So I'm at, I'm in a zoom meeting at a couple this morning and my second one,

um, midway through like 15 minutes in, I hear a woman, like a scream outside of a woman's voice it was like the combination of a cry a scream it sounded like she was dying in the road like this woman was like in an emergency and I had to leave my zoom meeting to go help her like that was the situation and it and at first just to bring you into my world and what I was experiencing I'm like trying to pay attention to the meeting but I keep hearing this like scream outside and I'm like this is getting worse this actually sounds like she's in pain this is like an emergency situation I can clearly tell this is different from someone just like I don't know screaming like a like a fucking homeless person outside like being crazy because that happens

sometimes here in the city like people just scream and yell it was different than that not to target crazy ass homeless people but you know that they're they're out there basically I had to leave the Zoom meeting. I was just like, this is an emergency. Someone is dying outside my apartment. I need to go help them. Like, sorry, but I got to go. So next thing I know, I'm at my front door with my neighbor who I like never talked to or interact with at all. By the way, I was like, whoa, we just like bonded over this right now. guys and this is why I think God talked to me today in the universe because of what I witnessed the woman was okay let me tell you that physically fine however so what I'm what I'm observing with

my neighbor at her front door and there's like all the other neighborhood the whole neighborhood's like out looking at this lady walking down the middle of the street in pj pants it looked like she was just rolling out of her house, PJs, like a loose shirt, rough hair, um, slippers. She's crying like a death scream in the middle of the street. And I was looking at her, like I was looking at her face first and like, I was just like watching what she was doing as she was walking through my street and screaming and crying. So it's focused on her. And then I look closer and I saw a lifeless dog in her arms this dog had just gotten hit by a car and it happened so quickly you know I'm in the zoom meeting all of a sudden a woman's crying

like so sad like something's awful something awful just happened I have to go and like check it out and then it was like slow motion I'm looking at her she's crying and then I see a dog in her arms a lifeless dog I know what dead animals look like I've seen a lot of in my life I've taught told so many stories like I feel like I've seen from all of the pets I've had living around farms my whole life like I've seen a lot of pet and animal death I knew the dog was fucking dead it's obvious it looked exactly like my goat that got hit by a truck they're like stiff-legged uh lifeless because when you get hit by a car it probably bounced like it probably got hit hard and then flew off to the left or right or whatever it wasn't like a smash

like when you see a possum or a skunk or a squirrel on the ground smashed flat when the dog got hit it obviously got hit hard and it's like it it was completely stiff it wasn't mutilated okay because she was holding it it wasn't like bleeding or anything it probably had some trauma in the nose like usually the nose bleeds out um I don't know I'm just basically telling you guys what I witnessed when my goat got hit by a truck anyways I'm why am I making like this sound so okay so let me get back to the story sorry the woman is carrying the dog crying her eyes out me and my neighbor are just like consoling each other just like holy shit this is so sad he has a small dog I told him I'm like I'm

literally adopting a puppy in like an hour I'm like holy fuck so she walks over to the guy that hit the dog his car was like pulled over and she just set him like this all looked slow motion she set the dog I think it was a Yorkie it was like a terrier dog kind of looked like a big Yorkie it's almost as if she was it was like an action movie a lord of the rings movie something where they're like laying down the sacrifice fucking lamb one last time and then everyone's just gonna like bow their heads and bless it like it was that kind of situation like the whole neighborhood was witnessing her like lay the dog's lifeless body on the pavement and she laid it right in front of the guy that hit it and made him like look at it and just like face what he fucking just he just

ruined her life killed the dog like it was it was dramatic as fuck and I wish I have a regret that I went back to my zoom meeting like I as I was in my meeting I was like half in half out still thinking about what's going on outside trying to be involved in the meeting it was like this whole thing so I wish I would have stuck around or just like I don't know maybe what do you do in that situation do you go over there and like console her do you like it's it's rough I mean I didn't recognize her or the dog she's obviously one of my neighbors there's so many people in the city here so I don't know who she is but it was crazy to see that and then realize in the back of my mind like okay so I'm adopting a puppy like right after this like what is God telling me what does

this mean so anyways I resumed the meeting I sit there I tell him what happened and you know they were just like you know kind of sad about it we were just to kind of talk about what I witnessed and then the meeting ended and uh I just started getting emotional I started crying I heard my neighbor upstairs crying everyone around was crying about what happened um I immediately and this is like I won't yeah this is kind of out of character for me to vocally pray like talk out loud and ask God some like like I literally audibly said God please keep my puppy and safe with me please keep its body alive with me like please keep make sure it's healthy and safe and like I was just like setting all these I don't know what they're called intentions with God and

I sat there and like list off all these things like things about my new puppy and and asked for his blessing because I think that was me processing what happened and realizing that life is fragile I have to be I have to be a parent who's always on guard always watching my puppy like never letting that thing run loose in the street I have to protect it no matter what it was a wake-up call it's about me just appreciate like here's the cycle of life right in front of your eyes life is short puppies don't last forever your dog could get hit by a car in the city here it was good for me to see that and horrible at the same time but um I was literally just praying and crying and um there's more to the story so I fucking uh I had to pick up the dog in the

afternoon pretty much everything with work at that point was like okay kind of done I needed to hit the road and just like well I had to puppy proof puppy proof a little bit all I really did honestly was sweet like that was me puppy proofing I'm like okay I just want to make sure my floor's clean and there isn't any little crumbs around for it to for him it are you a they them are you a he she no he him or you a she her she wait what is it she her you get to choose I'm not going to choose for you get to choose I don't care that you have a penis you get to decide just let me know depends you know and it depends if tomorrow you feel like a girl the next you feel like a boy I'm okay with that so anyways um I sweeped I wanted to make sure my floor was you know empty

of like little cacao nibs I snack on like god forbid that dog eats a cacao nib that's like the most concentrated form of chocolate possible or it's like the it's like the it's like cacao it's like what chocolate bars are made out of what am I trying to say and I'm like I can't have a single cacao nib available for this puppy to chew on and die from so or any little little bits so I I sweeped and honestly I just sat there with this physical anxiety uh I never really experienced this I need to take some I need to take some sips I'm like I feel like I'm rushing through this story but I really wanted to tell you guys what happened because well obviously I wasn't gonna to withhold that dog dying story but I just feel like I want to get to the puppy and tell you guys

all about him but I wanted to tell that story first because I think it like it's interesting it's just like wild how and then I didn't even talk to you guys about me like watching the inauguration this morning working having that on mute going checking back in with it watching Lady Gaga sing the national anthem watching and like everything happened I was plugged into the the inauguration most of the morning in the background of work that was like a challenge because I'm like I just want to watch the fucking like I don't know anyways hold on I'm gonna drink something so basically I I kind of sat there after I cleaned up and I felt out of sorts I'm like I just witness this does this mean it's not supposed to happen I'm not supposed to have this puppy like

what did that mean and then I was talking to God again or the universe spirit whatever you believe in like I was just like talking out loud to some sort of higher power for blessings and and for help and and advice so and again like I never do that if anything I I talk to myself out loud and do self-help like I'm fucking doing every day on the show uh it's basically the same thing uh I used to talk out loud in the shower and coach myself and and give myself like therapy alone but uh I was praying like I was doing it today but I was like asking God for for help and blessings so anyways um I sat there for a bit I just like tried to collect myself I couldn't eat today I couldn't like nothing was everything was off you know I had this gut feeling of like I felt

horrible and okay let me just cut to the chase so I get in the car uh it was like a 20 minute drive to get this puppy and I'm like not even like I'm it's GPS because it's a new place I've never been so I'm like trying to focus on getting there and not crashing it's like starting to rain I'm just physically like shaking flustered my heart was racing I couldn't stop thinking about like just everything like even I'll just include work like there's a lot of work I have to do right now I'm like getting this puppy I just watched a dog die a lot hit me today and I was out of sorts on the drive there and then I was having anxiety about, oh my God, now I have to drive back. But when I drive back, I'm going to have the puppy

and I don't want to crash. Like I had, I freaked out about that. So this is what, this is what happened. I got about 15 minutes into the drive. I felt myself struggling mentally and physically with this anxiety. And I started listing off facts and speaking facts out loud, exactly what happened. And then I would dissect it and go, okay, so I saw that dog die. I watched that woman scream and cry. That was traumatizing. That was horrible. But that was, God was trying to tell me something there. I'm just, I'm just have to tell myself that I have to make some sort of positive out of that. I don't want to turn that into, I'm not supposed to get this puppy thing, you know? And I, and I think, you know, this is, I, that's a lesson of life and the cycle of life.

Like, so I was talking myself through that, what I witnessed. I just have a hard time with death and especially with animals and watching people grieve in general. Like it's so heavy because I have that. And I talked about it a couple of days ago, how I've literally fainted. I've literally been hooked up to EKGs like I faint when I hear about people's pain like when my boss at my internship was telling me about her surgery she's telling me about I literally just faint I like take on people's pain so easily I don't know what that is but um and that's extreme

like it doesn't happen every time but for example what I was witnessing there literally made me feel sick with that lady so anyways I'm in the car talking to myself let me cut to the chase because I want to tell you guys about the puppy. He's sitting here. He's sleeping through this. Is my voice soothing? All right. So then I was talking about my anxiety about telling the family because I was surprising them with this. I didn't tell them I was talking through why I decided to do that. Why I shouldn't feel like shit about that. I was talking about work and like my plans with my job stuff and like All these, like, little things that were bottled up or just in my head, I just, I talked out loud, and I felt better immediately.

So then I, fuck, this is my, I got a puppy episode. I feel like I'm slacking. I haven't even told you about the puppy yet. So I picked up some stuff at Petco. I needed, like, a harness, because I was going to order on Amazon, but I realized, like, I just need this now. like I don't want to have to wait so got like a harness a leash a few toys um like I got this rope I got this uh cute little it's like a moose and it has a squeaker in it that releases lavender uh this soothing lavender scent so when it's laying next to it when it sleeps it smells nice

which I can like smell it from here it's so cool I got um like pee pads which were they came in handy because he peed in the car um I don't know just some like random stuff food so and they told me what food to buy him so I already knew so anyways I literally pick him up everything was fine um like it's kind of sad I'm like I was like asking the people I bought him bought him from I was like do you need like some time to say goodbye like I just felt bad to take him and they're like you know we've done he was number seven out of nine to go yeah so they had seen a lot of a lot of puppies go before him but um it was kind of tough to like take him from from them but he sat in my car and slept the whole way I touched him the whole time I like had my hand petting him

and he was really calm didn't bark or make or squeal or make any noise noises he didn't cry he didn't try to explore my car and like I didn't have a crate I'm ordering it so it's not coming till I think Friday so I don't have anything to put him in um but he did fine he didn't go like jump in the back seat like look around he was easy so um anyways I brought him home oh wait fuck do you guys care that I went to Trader Joe's do you guys give a fuck uh basically I got more anxiety so here's this this day was full of like anxiousness I felt fine about getting the puppy it was more like details and just like shit in the behind the scenes shit I need to take care of like I didn't have any food in my fridge so I was like okay if I have this puppy and I need to go

grocery shopping it's gonna be a bitch because I'm gonna have to take him with me like you know He's too little to leave. Like I can't leave this dog. So I panic shopped at Trader Joe's, which is quick anyways. Like it took me less than 20 minutes. Cause I know that store like the back of my hand. Uh, I get the same shit every time. So anyways, I went to Trader Joe's and, uh, I just flirt with everyone there. I love doing it. You know, first thing I did is, a cute guy at the front, uh, the line man slash cart guy. I was, uh, I stood on a six feet apart lily pad and there wasn't a line, but I was fucking with him. And I was like, um, I was pretending like I was in line and he's like, oh, there's no line today. You can go right in.

I'm like, oh, you know, oh, that's weird. What about, what are these for? I'm just standing in waiting and he thought that was funny and then or I don't know I just fucked with them and then I went shopping got all my stuff and then when I was checking out um the two guys they're like young early 20s dudes were talking about how much they can't stop eating they're like yeah dude like lately I just am insatiable I can't stop eating it's like I just like feed myself all day long I just keep gorging. I don't know what's come, what's come on me or come upon me lately. So I was like, yeah, I've been doing that all year. And I was like, oh, I can relate. I've been doing that all year. And, uh, I was like, uh, can you

tell? Like I was fucking them, trying to tell them, trying to get them to tell me, like, think I'm fat or whatever. And I was like, yeah, I've been doing that all year. And you know, here we are 15 20 pounds later I gotta I gotta figure it out I gotta cut it back and they're like yeah I can tell here you know it's look like you're you've only got healthy stuff this is really healthy and I said yeah you know new year new me so and I just I just like to fuck around when I'm in public now I don't get I don't care um but what's that like if you're a boy and you can eat anything you don't gain weight like or anyone like what's that life like I feel like when a Jeannie asked me what I want in life, I would ask for that. Like, hi, Jeannie, please allow all

animals to talk or make that possible. Please end world hunger. And, uh, if I eat anything, it will not change my body in any way. Uh, that would be great. Thanks. Uh, life goal, life dream, probably not going to happen ever, but, um, I can only fantasize and think about what that life would be like, because there are a lot of fast metabolism, fast metabolisms out there that I envy, and goddamn, what's that like, all right, so fucking, I bring, so that was before I picked up a puppy, so I did Petco Trader Joe's, picked up the puppy, drove the puppy home, I get home, and I'm, like, panic hauling my, uh, groceries, groceries in the door really quick, like, it was like three bags, not that much. And I left him in the car for like, it was like 30 seconds,

but I was freaking out. And then, uh, then I had to get his Petco bag and some like waters, like some sparkling water boxes. So I had to like haul that second round in freaking out. And then I'm like, okay. So then I had to, then I brought him inside and left him here while I parked. And I don't know why I did that. I should have parked and then held him and walked to my, like, walked him in the house. Like, the thing is, I was paranoid because that fucking dog I saw got hit by a car on my street. I'm like, I don't want to have to walk this dog outside and, like, pass where the Yorkie got hit by a fucking truck today. like anyways so he was alone for like two minutes how are you sleeping through this right now how are you sleeping through it um so he came inside and then immediately it was like let's just run around and explore right and he was literally just running around the edges of my apartment kind of getting the boundaries uh down just seeing how the space is laid out he likes

going under my tv what's that called like tv stand dresser thing he likes laying under there he didn't really start like biting anything or licking anything or you know he was I don't have a lot for him to chew like he went after my socks and my slippers um he likes my toes he likes sucking on my toes he's he's like you know he's got some foot fetish already with me which is cute and then what else he just like jumps around oh he loves my mirror so or I don't know if he loves it but he was mesmerized by his reflection which I think is so cute when puppies like see their reflection but he likes to like jump up and jump up in my at my big mirror and like like I don't know kind of like bark at himself bark at himself what am I saying um why I'm on Instagram look at

my dms while I'm trying to tell my this is like the award-winning I got a puppy this is the life changing like day new president new puppy I'm trying to send it I'm trying to tell you guys as many details as I can remember uh so we just kind of like chilled together he was oh I was putting away groceries he was like you know playing around with my feet now you now you're perked up now you have energy it's crazy how like one second he's passed out in the next second he's just like big smile super happy um so yeah and then I like made a quick dinner I like didn't eat at anything I didn't eat anything today so I made a bag salad threw some tuna in it called a good um fucking because you know when you're like shooken up and you have like you're just like

anxious like I can't eat in those in that state like I don't even have an appetite at all and especially when I witness a fucking death so um I was about to pass out though tonight I like grocery shop went to Petco drove got a puppy I worked all morning on just caffeine and then it hit me at like it was like six or seven I'm like I need to fucking eat so like I thought okay I can't just eat and not attend to him or something like I was like wait am I supposed to like he can do his own thing I think he's been pretty independent so far um but I was like wait I have to like force this down so I can get back to him but I just hung out and watched a little tv just like updated myself on um you know what's happening today with the inauguration and news and

just things happening in the world because I haven't really been on you know I haven't been plugged in that much today so when I did that he was just like chilling you know playing with toys laying with me. He can't, he can't jump up, jump up on my couch, which is cute. I make him do it and he can't do it. So I like, I challenge him. I don't make it easy for him. I'm not going to make anything. I'm going to make things like fun for him and make it challenging. So when he finally does it, he feels good about himself. Got to build that confidence. And what else, what is, what else is there to tell you so oh he went and attacked my palm tree and then I looked up is a bird bird of paradise palm tree poisonous for puppies and it was like toxic do not let

your puppy eat that plant so I wrapped that bitch with some plastic I put like a fucking garbage bag around the base of it so he can't chew it and then so there was that and then the other thing I came up against was, um, I put on his harness a little abruptly, very abruptly. Like I just put it on him and I thought about it for a bit. Cause he was running around like he hated it. He was trying to bite it off. Like he hated it. And, uh, by the way, I just want to say this this dog hasn't squealed barked uh been difficult uh shy nothing like he's perfect like this is exactly why I wanted a golden retriever this is why I love them so much they're just like everything and more they're just I know a lot of puppies are like this so I'm just

maybe partial to goldens but he's just perfect and he likes to be around me in fact every time I go to the bathroom, he like runs after me and he doesn't, he kind of whimpers. I will say I shut the door just to see like what he would do. And he whimpers. So he's already kind of attached. Um, let me go back to the harness. Then I'll tell you some stories about like how I knew he was the one, how I picked him out. Um, so I decided I kind of got smart about it and I'm like, okay, I need to reintroduce the harness because I needed to take him I knew it was like night time is around 8 p.m right I'm like I need to get this dog outside we're gonna do this every night anyways like if he has to pee

uh you know it's gonna it's gonna be around this time of night so long story short I like took the harness and I reintroduced it to him by setting it on the floor and I let him come to it and like let him sniff it play with it kind of play with the harness like a toy so he was doing that for about 10 minutes warming up to it he just sat there and chewed it which was perfect like I wanted him to like it before I put it on him for the second time so do I sound like a dog nerd like a fucking trainer right now reintroduce the harness make them comfortable with it what is it called like I wrote a bunch of notes on puppy training you've got to do stimulus reward or fucking I don't know um so then I did I put the harness back on it was

easy I put the leash on him let him drag the leash around he kind of chewed at it but it wasn't too bad and then literally within a minute of the harness on the leash on I take him outside I don't let him walk on the sidewalk I was told like you gotta he still has some shots to get so I'm waiting till he's like fully good until I let him get on the nasty ass fucking concrete here so I found a kind of a secluded like grassy patch um in the city and I I don't like okay when I say the city it's not like fucking New York City where I live it's San Diego it's like small I live in a neighborhood-y kind of vibe area I don't know how to explain it vibe area what the vibe is not in my I told you guys I don't want to say vibe this year

so anyways I took him out I felt like the first patchy piece of grass I found for him uh immediately he immediately shit like oh sniff the grass realized it was grass and that's where he's been shitting like when he's been um with his his pals his brothers and sisters and uh the rest of his his family like they've been out in the grass and that's where he takes shits and he goes outside like he's kind of used to that already so he sniffed the grass and then immediately it was like i smelled it because it was dark out i was like oh my god he just shit and i was so excited for him and I'm proud to report it's a it was a solid shit which is good news um puppy shit at first isn't always solid or I feel like it it solidifies over time but his is solid shit

again do I sound like a fucking doctor these are specific details like if you have a full-grown dog right now you're just rolling your eyes like I don't give a shit like I've been here done that maybe this is interesting to you I'm just trying to tell you guys whatever I can remember so he shit we kind of walked in the grass a little bit and then I took him back in and then it was like play time he had all this energy um then it was like play time pass out play time pass out play time pass out which is kind of fun to witness because you just never know what his energy is going to be um but let me go back to some good things about picking him out and the reason why I'm not

calling them names because i don't have one yet um when i when i there's two boys left and one of the boys so i held the his i held his brother first and his brother was darker and his brother had a more i would describe the face of this golden as a it's like a more masculine face or a more like tough face where my little puppers here I don't know what to call him let's just call him fucking bubs or something like bubba like fucking whatever he had a cuter because like guys the name's gonna come to me just hasn't yet um I'm really indecisive I don't know why about naming him. Um, but then his face is more classic, cute, like friendly. Like he had this, he had the cutest face. And so I immediately saw him and I was like, you're mine. I'm in love

with you. It was like an immediate, like I knew thing. And when I held him, this is kind of the difference between him and his brother. He immediately like nestled his little nose under my like right into my neck and immediately like licked me like it was instant like he kissed he really licked me immediately and so I was like oh that's a sign and he kept licking me while I was holding him and talking and um even today I wore the same sweatshirt that I did when I met him that I didn't wash it still had maybe his scent on it I don't know if he could smell himself but I like put the same sweatshirt on when I picked him up, and he did it again. He immediately kissed me. He likes to lick me, so I think that's a good sign. He likes my toes, so that's a good sign. Like,

he's obviously interested in my scent. I feel like, you know, here's the thing. I'm fucking annoyed by myself in this episode. Like, I wanted to send it. This is the I got a puppy episode I got a new president today I got a new puppy I don't know this seems like I'm just like forcing out thoughts as fast as possible or is is like I'm trying to remember every little thing about what happened today with a puppy sorry so um what was I just gonna say see and then I lose my train of thought oh I feel like puppies are just lovers anyway so like no matter who holds them no matter who they like come in contact with they're gonna be affectionate and like kiss you and like nestle up with you they just like being close to people and be like it's

just their disposition their nature so I like to say that it was a sign that he licked me but I'm sure he did that to everyone like I don't know but to me it was a sign so he is perfect he's everything and more um you know his paws because sometimes you get a puppy and their paws are like huge in comparison to their body and his are uh they're kind of like just normal like i don't know how big he's gonna get his dad was his dad was pretty fucking big was he 80 pounds his mom was like 65 yeah they're they were big goldens they're alive still they're big his mom was Chloe his dad was Kobe Kobe was younger than the mom yeah but I don't know why do you guys care about like the lineage and where this fucking dog comes from like some people are

so into that like the pedigree and the fucking like family tree and shit basically he's one of nine there were five boys four girls uh the mom was older than the dad the dad was darker than the mom just like they are both medium like they're both I don't know whatever you guys I feel like again these are details like you know like what do you want to know about me getting the puppy the dog is beautiful the parents were beautiful it's perfect he's here I'm excited to tell you guys, puppy stories. I can't wait to tell you guys what his name is. Um, I sent my family a picture. Like I just casually was like my new son in the group chat. I told my brother, my brother already knew about him, but I told the rest of my family in the group chat, I sent a little picture

of him in my arms in my apartment. I'm like my new son. And they're just like, what, what, what, what you know they're all excited and freaked out um and then my sister called me and we talked about him and she was like telling me names and asking all these questions but I had I was a little bit afraid of saying anything because I told you guys yesterday why so just like go listen to yesterday's episode but I'm I have issues with like getting like if I was worried if I involved my family in this, like I'd end up talking myself out of it and then give me reasons why I shouldn't do it. Like I was afraid of hearing any like negative thoughts about adopting a puppy right now. Like, I don't know. I just worried about that, which is kind of dumb because at the end

of the day, they're super supportive and they love him already. So, um, they don't. Yeah. So that was awesome. Um, yeah, he's just passed out right now. I can't stop petting him. Um, he's perfect. I don't know what else to say. That's the episode. I really, you know, I'll say this. Uh, these are just thoughts about life right now and where I'm at. Um, I think nothing will ever be perfect. And this is the whole, like talking myself out of getting a puppy thing. like former me would be like oh well things aren't tight here and you need to figure this area in your life out more before you do this and oh you shouldn't be a single mom raising a puppy alone like you should have a boyfriend and do it with him like I could have come up with a thousand

reasons why I shouldn't do it where now I'm realizing that I think life is really fulfilling when you go after what you want and you make you take that leap of faith and you do it because I think it's like the less time between wanting something and it's like okay delayed gratification works for for some things but in terms of like like here's how my brain works I want a dog I want a golden retriever now it what's the difference between today getting him or in six months like me getting him now or in July there isn't a difference what's the difference between me getting now or this time next year like nothing every day like I just think of the present and now I'm like this is my life this is my story this is the picture I'm painting I want a puppy this made

sense I did it now so I think a lot of times in my life I've tried to make everything perfect first and then it would delay delay delay it never happened and I'm trying to practice what I preach here and literally I was telling you guys a month ago I'm like I want a dog I want a dog a couple weeks ago I was telling you guys like I was showing you different breeds I was looking at and then literally I have a puppy next to me right now like that's that's for me that's a big i guess accomplishment or like something cool um life feels good when you just go after what you want and you go with you full send and you have that um i guess that faith that it will work out it's all about having faith you know i have faith this puppy is gonna be perfect little

fluffball why are you just he's just spread spread eagle letting everything hang out all right that's episode i don't like that today was episode 139 like what what a shitty number like i don't like episodes like 119 129 139 like they're just awkward anything like that just what 137 is actually i don't mind like that what anything nine at the end is just it's frustrating for me um like when I say go refer if you want to hear my puppy adoption day one story go to episode 139 like why can't why can't it be 140 I don't know all right so I don't know you guys do I need to sit here and apologize for my behavior today I feel like I'm all the things like so drained so exhausted just like um sitting on my couch pet my puppy just like sitting back like

like not even breathing just talking everything out like a diarrhea mouth just as fast as possible and just as like there are no pauses it's just like a fucking like bulldozer of information for you so I'll work on that I think I've been trying lately and I don't know if you can tell I've been trying to pause when I talk so it's not fucking crazy to listen to so anyways uh I'm just being honest like I'm literally about to go to bed with this pup and I don't have my crate so he's definitely sleeping with me tonight there won't be crate training moving forward but um he's gonna be spoiled at first because mama wants to mama wants to sleep what am I saying mama am I doing that I'm a dog mom

you're perfect he's so cute you're so cute this is my fourth golden retriever and it's weird uh let me just say one more thing I don't so my memories are kind of fading about my childhood and like middle school high school like they're starting to fade a little bit where I don't feel as connected to that age and that time anymore now that I'm upper 20s so like I still remember getting Charlie like that was the last golden puppy we had like the same like just like this one here he's eight weeks old like we got him as a puppy so I remember that was in like maybe eighth grade or freshman year and

there's like it's patchy like my memory of raising him and like having him as a puppy and what we did with him like it's so foggy like I don't even remember like taking him out letting him go pee or poop or like going on walks with him or taking him in the car like I really don't remember any of that which is kind of sad like we're not it's just weird where if I was you know maybe five years ago thinking about it I could probably connect to those memories better but it's weird how being on my own now with this puppy um is making me realize like I don't really remember the little details you know and it's wild like it's just maybe it's because I was at a family like we are all raising the pup so I don't know I think I have to pay

attention more because it's just me so can't wait to get my responsibility meter way the fuck up I'm just like ready ready for parenthood ready for single motherhood she's here bitch I can't I mean this dog is with me it's it's done so I'm really excited all right love you guys that's episode 139 this is the uh exhaustion and exhaustion ending uh how perfect how how fucking professional of me to first of all swear in front of my infant but second of all just like casually nonchalantly just like just the end of the episode like this um those noises were also unprofessional i just mean like

what's my vibe right now i said vibe again it's i'm just like delirious that's the word delirious i've been delirious for the last 30 minutes or pretty much the entire episode now you know okay we're on the same page please lord jesus forgive me for my behavior as a podcast host i will try to be more on point tomorrow i'll try to get a good night's sleep and, uh, send the fuck out of day two of puppy parenthood. Can't wait. All right. Thanks for hanging out. I don't even, I'm not going to plug any of my stuff. Just like click some links in the bio or fucking go to Instagram and follow me. All right. Love you guys. Have a great Wednesday and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.