The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 14- I'm A Housing Development

Episode Date: September 17, 2020

It's Thick Thursday! It's a chill episode because I slept like sh*t. I talked about the new iOS 14 iPhone update, ran some numbers, and talked about my life. Hope you guys are having a great day! :) Patreon.com/tjms 

What's up, everyone? Happy Thursday. Welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 14, which means I've been doing this for two weeks straight. I'm not a daily podcaster that does it Monday through Friday. I do it Sunday through Saturday. Okay, seven days a week. I can't believe it. I slept like shit last night. Let's talk about my 24-hour update. I do want to cut to the chase a little better today than I've been doing in the past because I have a lot to today's so all over the place but like I've got bills to open for you guys because I opened my mailbox yesterday and I have some bills to open I'm a little scared and nervous about a couple um I have a journal to read my like childhood journal my mom gave me this summer um thought

that'd be kind of fun to do uh what else oh two mind fucks that happened yesterday to me yesterday we got to work on Jacqueline needs to work on how she says yesterday yesterday um um yesterday I had two mind fucks happen to me like brain exploded on the spot as soon as I figured it out so I have to tell you about that um by the way this is thick Thursday Thursday episodes are going to be thick Thursday um I don't know why I just came up with that I was thinking like what flows with the word Thursday thick thick Thursday and I've been feeling thick. I worked out last night. Um, it's part of my 24 hour update and I work out until my ass has a pulse. Like when I do a glute workout, I wait for that moment where

my ass has a pulse. And cause I'm, I'm really like, I'm going hard. I'm really trying to make up for lost time this year. So anyways, I worked out last night, thick Thursday. I don't know. Um, I wrote on a sticky note here. I slept like shit because I woke up at multiple times of the night. I don't know if it's my new meds that are making me have bad sleep. First of all, my antidepressant. I've been very open about this. Like it's, you know, I'm working with a therapist right now. I'm taking a little light dose of a antidepressant and I feel like I've noticed a lot of positive benefits. Number one, I don't have any negative thoughts about myself at all anymore. Zero, like a zip, they do not exist. And I think that's why I've been able to just jump in and do this

podcast and talk about everything with no filter inhibitions. So that's been awesome. But the two things it's doing to me, um, side effect wise are it's making me have these intense naps. Like I, I take naps in the afternoon almost every day but when I do it's like I'm sedated I feel like I'm like it's crazy like I get into deep sleep when I take these afternoon naps and then what's weird is my night my my nighttime time my sleeping at night is super shitty right now like I don't know anyways I wrote on this sticky note last night at 2 a.m I don't well I I know I woke up at 2 a.m. because my whoop strap, my whoop strap says I had a 13% recovery last night, which, you know, of course, um, whatever. I had like 40 minutes, 40 minutes of

REM, REM sleep. And I normally have like over two hours of REM. So I don't know what the hell's going on. Maybe it isn't working. Maybe you need to update it. Um, but that's something I have to tell you about. The mindfuck has to do with an update, a technological update. Um, so I wrote on here the solo circus should have fucking named it this lol that's what I should have named the podcast instead of TJMS the Jacqueline Monroe show that's a little um abbreviation I'm doing TJMS so just like right now as you're listening just like like drill I'm trying to drill that into everyone's brain when you see TJMS don't think of TJ Maxx don't think of I don't know like TJMS is the Jacqueline Monroe show. TJMS is the Jacqueline Monroe show TJMS. So I'm putting

that everywhere on my Instagram. I'm hashtagging it. I'm trying to like get you guys to understand that. Like, I don't want to have a whole, like, I don't want, I don't want to like spell out my show every day. And it's also because I don't want to have, I don't know, whatever. I just see like other podcasts will have like, they'll abbreviate their thing. And so, yeah, I thought last night at 2 a.m. I was like oh the solo circus this is like the solo sir I feel like I'm by myself this is a crazy like I don't know whatever um what was I talking about slept like shit I gotta open some bills for you it's thick Thursday two mind fucks gotta talk about oh I was gonna hit you with a coffee fact let me drink my coffee I'm using a straw

today. Now, the reason I'm using a straw is because I got my Crest White Strip delivery from Amazon yesterday because I'm going to be whitening my teeth very regularly now because I'll be doing my video podcast on October 1st. So I'm like, you know what? Time to get these pearly whites back. So that means I got to use a straw when I drink coffee. This year has been the best for not giving a fuck about like the bottom half of my face literally like mustache on on just on deck on point whatever like I usually wax my mustache like every other day it's not that often but like once a week you know I actually shave it like girls out there I know this is like I have like a hey you know what I don't care I've no I'm not I'm just gonna

tell you all my little secrets everyone every girl has a little peach fuzz so anyways I just dry shave it and it's worked for me since middle school I used to get made fun of and bullied for my mustache in middle school and I finally took care of business and I felt like the I was just like this is what womanhood is all about it just felt like the first day of the rest of my life and I haven't stopped shaving since so anyways the bottom portion of my face has been kind of like easy to hide all the time so I'm not really worried about having super white teeth right now guys I don't my hygiene like I always talk about how great my hygiene is like right now I've got an olaplex mask in my hair um you know I just did a new pedicure like uh yesterday so like I'm

but there's certain things where I'm like I'll be lazy and that's usually with makeup right now and my fucking teeth whitening because I don't give a fuck my teeth are always white but they're not like I want it to be like you see you know when you see people you're like oh that looks fake as hell like they're total those are totally veneers that's why I want my teeth to look um this is showbiz and I gotta take it seriously so anyways I'm drinking out of straw I was gonna hit you with a coffee fact who's who's talking too fast I know I am all right um oh okay I just pulled up my google and last night I was watching I'm gonna hit you with a coffee fact don't worry um I was watching Disney movie intro like the castle thing like is this going to be

copyright infringement let me see if you can hear it in the background it's like is that copyright I don't know I don't know how that works okay whatever but I was watching that and I was watching the AMC movie um like when you go to a movie theater and you sit down and they do the whole like silence your phone shit it's like the most warm and fuzzy cozy feeling I love that sensation of watching those little trailers the Disney castle thing it's so majestic it's so like I don't know I just feel some type of way it really takes me back to like good times in my life because I love sitting in a movie theater and having that like I don't know that pre-movie time you know you're getting into your popcorn you're sitting back

anyway so I was watching I was like reminiscing watching these um these movie theater intro trailer things and I want to emulate so whatever that feeling is when you're in a movie theater and you're just ready for the movie you got your popcorn it's dark you know it's it's the pre-movie butterflies you're so excited to watch it all the trailers are so badass that you see before it and you're just so inspired by like you know what I mean like they'll show the trailers get me like I go to the movies for the trailers they're so inspiring I'm like I'm gonna be an actress I'm gonna I'm gonna do this I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking see all these movies I don't know like I feel so good anyways that's the kind of emotion I want to create when you fucking listen to this

podcast. Does that make sense? I don't know what I'm saying. I just like, I don't know. Everything is, it's, you know, I'm trying to get you guys in your feels. I'm trying to get you guys really cozy and comfy and, all right, coffee fact. Instant coffee. Y'all know I talk about instant coffee. So, wait a minute. Hold on. Time out. Instant coffee has been around for nearly 250 years. instant coffee has been around for a while making its first appearance in england in 1771 but it would take another 139 years for the first mass-produced instant coffee to be introduced and in the united states in 1910 the average american spends more than a thousand okay i could read all these facts anyways i wanted to hit you with a coffee fact because um this is like a little ode

to my favorite podcast back in the day coffee with crachel they always did that in the beginning of the show and yeah so I drink instant coffee it's underrated I always talk about it but and I know like I'm repeating myself if you listen to podcasts every day but hey for the newbies out there for the new kids on the block Jacqueline does like three heaping heaping tablespoons of instant coffee which is a serving size understand is a teaspoon I'm up to three now three tablespoons now so in fact okay okay wait I'll tell you the recipe and then I'll tell what happened this morning um so then I do like a half a cup or like a fourth cup of hot water hot water and then I put the instant coffee in that and then I do like a shit ton of my cute

little round ice cubes that's that's another thing like I have a preference of my ice cubes very specific about my ice cubes um and then I do unsweetened vanilla almond milk and then nut pods vanilla creamer right now or I'll do Khalifa Farms better half just like a little I posted on my story today if you want to see how I make it but yeah so I did I do that I do that um but this morning I did so I thought about I'm doing too much caffeine and I think that's what the napping in the afternoon is all about because I'm crashing from too much I'm over caffeinating and it's a problem so uh today I today this honestly I'm already like not enjoying the, um, the energy on this podcast. I'm like, I feel like it's kind of like flat, but whatever.

I'm going to just keep going. I do this every day. I got to get over it. Um, so anyways, today I did two tablespoons instead of three, not even kidding. I chugged this shit in two minutes and I'm like, I don't feel anything. And I did another tablespoon. So I'm sitting here with, I'm sitting here with that extra table, extra tablespoon. I made another, another cup for the podcast and, um, it's definitely working because obviously I'm all over the place um okay so yeah it was gonna I pulled up the coffee fact I was talking about Disney and AMC theater trailers that I was watching last night you guys I wonder like I can't be the only one that feels some type of way when I go to a movie theater

it's there's something about it so yeah anyways I'm trying to like maybe the reason also I thought about um or this uh watching these Disney and AMC movie intros was a thing last night is because I've been thinking about like doing intro music and having like sounds incorporated into my podcast so I'm like what sounds make me so happy and the Disney movie intro castle um thing is the greatest sound of all time oh I just got a notification on my phone hi um okay so let's talk about my 24-hour update did not cut to the chase did not cut to the chase but it's all it's all good I can hear my neighbor upstairs they probably are listening in I wonder if they like I don't know I don't give a fuck um okay so slept like shit 13% recovery um

I don't know maybe it has to do with I don't know I woke up in the middle of night started writing shit down uh told you the coffee I'm drinking 24-hour update went to the gym last night lifted already told you that oh outfit of the day uh oversized tea sweats I don't want to like go into details I don't feel like those are necessary things to talk about today um oh but my hair oh my olaplex hair mask I'm rocking right now I have two little pink clips on the side of my hair um man bun working out his neighbor or my neighbor excuse I gotta take a little break right now okay wait my neighbor sorry trains of thought are not working um my man bun neighbor outside right now working out that that couple it's it's kind of cool to see because here's the

thing I'm like I'm excited to watch them shrink because they're they're extremely overweight so it's cool like they're doing this every day and I think by from now until the end of the year I'm gonna see like their transformation and I'm just super excited about that I don't know they're running a lot of hills so that's gotta that's gotta do some sort of work on their weight loss or whatever, okay, so, I wrote some notes here, 24-hour update, just, like, same shit, different day, I literally wake up early, I check my stocks, I podcast, I drink my coffee, I podcast, I go to work, so I work at home, well, it's not like I go to work, and then I work out, and then I chill, oh, I watched This Is Paris last night, I watched This Is Paris, the YouTube original documentary

around Paris Hilton and I just want to give her the biggest hug of all time like I want to hug her for like an hour straight she's like that's what we needed from her we needed to see the side of her because she definitely puts on a little character and you know her whole brand is this like Barbie kind of ditzy blonde thing and it was cool to see the behind the scenes of her life and her she's she is like she is the shit when I think about it I'm like dude you she works her ass off but I think it's a lot of like distracting from herself and she had oh my god she had she has this crazy ass trauma um from her from her like high school age years she was at these um she went to these boarding schools I think they were anyways it's really it's so sad when I think

about it like people you see that put on such a good show and then behind the scenes they're miserable and they have she has nightmares every night anyway so I watched that last night um I was glued to it I did not check my phone that entire time I was watching it uh proud of myself it was like two hours two hours long that's another um thing I try to work on like putting my phone in a drawer when I watch movies and yeah I'm not really liking this podcast but you know what you're tuning in every day you're just you're just you're here for the daily updates so whatever um okay I'm still living my dream I really feel like before each podcast I'm like pinching myself I'm like it's the whole like if you do something you love every day you'll never work a day in

your life you know what I mean and I do feel like this I finally found that thing so hi can't wait to do the video podcast and hang out with you guys on camera next month. Um, I've been mentioning this every podcast, but you can go check out my YouTube channel and just search Jacqueline Monroe. And then I have a bunch of vlogs, some try hard vlogs I did earlier this year when I was in peak depression. So you can kind of get my vibe and watch those if you want. Um, but yeah, I'm like, just kind of like still going. I could do this every single day. I'll never get bored. all right um let's talk about should I open these bills to start the podcast get the get the bullshit out of the way this is real life okay I'm looking at

health insurance bill there's some asmr I'm opening this this is real life you guys are just hanging out you know what I mean you're hanging out all right oh okay well I signed up for paperless billing and so this is just one of these they're not asking for money here so that's cool what is this okay I'm looking at like eight pages dear Jacqueline interesting we um paperless okay anyways this is boring maybe i should not have done this but hey i'm including you in my life if you're in my kitchen right now we'd be sitting here i'd be open opening my mail i don't know take a break second second package here

i've been opening bills and shit with my mom or since i was like three years old my mom used to we'd sit in the kitchen, I feel like her right now, we'd sit at the kitchen table as a family, well, like, me and my siblings and my mom would sit around the kitchen table and open all of her bills and all of her mail, and then we'd sit there and write checks for her, like, we, she taught us how to write, like, you know, like, how you address, anyways, so I've been, I'm glad she, like, taught us that early, because I'm not nervous when I open bills, I'm just like, oh, yeah, oh, there's my Invisalign thing. They're still trying to suck money for me and I already paid for that. So I need to call them. Yeah, I got Invisalign. So guys, my braces journey, I had braces like sixth

grade to seventh grade. Then I wore a retainer and then all of high school I got, I had braces. And then, um, but before, wait, I had a retainer, then I had braces and I had a retainer and I had braces. I had 13 years of orthodontics basically. And then in, after college I got Invisalign again. And, um, yeah, anyways, so I'm like a mouth person. I really like care about my teeth and how they look. And so I noticed the most subtle little things and I'm like, I need Invisalign now. Thank you for trusting us with your care. It's an honor and privilege to take that we take to heart our record show. Oh, our record show that you recently received services from this hospital I'm not gonna say it uh San Diego emergency department yeah I rushed myself

to the ER I don't want to talk about it um I'm fine now basically guys this is like TMI but this my doctor thinks I had GERD and she's like do you eat tomato sauce and hot sauce all the time and I'm like dude every day like I I eat marinara and like hot sauce I put hot sauce on everything and then there's a couple other things like oh and coffee was one too and she's like yeah you're gonna have to quit coffee for two weeks which I didn't do but I cut out like all tomatoes anything that's super acidic because I felt like for about two weeks I had this chronic pain like right in the middle of my upper abs if that makes sense it felt like I was getting stabbed with a knife and I'm like is this a is this a fucking kidney whatever they call the

kidney stone I don't know how it works I'm so think about this this is my little like conspiracy or like confusion we're born we have this body and like 99.9% of us except if you're a doctor you understand like the ins and outs of every little nook and cranny of the body but for the most part like most people are just like hey I'm here and then I don't understand what's going on inside like they I don't know like I know where my body my organs and shit are for the most part but like I don't know it's weird like I don't understand how certain things work anyways is that weird like we should all have a really thorough education on every little detail about the body um so yeah anyways why did I tell you that oh my bill here said we that wasn't even

a bill it was just like oh we have a record that you were at the emergency room and yeah anyways all right so now so I got that off the list here who's bored um I opened my bills I am looking at my little notepad here. I kind of jotted down some shit. Um, I want to tell you about the mind fucks. I want to read my journal. Let's talk about the mind fucks. Okay. So two things, um, drinking some coffee. I think this podcast will be under an hour. I'm not feeling like a long podcast today. Thick Thursday's kind of flat. Let's be honest. There's been some better episodes, but fuck it um okay so yesterday yesterday I was on Instagram and Machine Gun Kelly posted so let me go on I'm trying to like walk myself back through this Machine Gun Kelly

he posted a picture and I was like wait a minute you don't look like G-Eazy this isn't I was like wait wait what the fuck okay guys this entire so I fell in love I fell madly deeply hopelessly in love with G-Eazy I watched his YouTube documentary thing I watched that earlier in the quarantine and I've been obsessed with him all year I've always like liked his music when he's in songs and whatnot but I didn't really like watch any interview I never like saw him talk or like you know what I mean so I finally watched that so this whole year I've been really obsessed with G-Eazy and so I've been following okay the mind fuck is this I've been watching so Machine Gun Kelly now he's dating um it's official him and um what's her name oh my god

why can't I think oh my god Megan Fox so Machine Gun Kelly MGK and Megan Fox are dating guys I don't understand how this happened to my brain I like could not piece this together I've been looking at MGK thinking G-Eazy went blonde and this is G-Eazy I've been like wait he changed his music to this like punk shit I'm like wait G-Eazy he raps but like now he went punk and he's dating Megan Fox so I've been thinking G-Eazy is dating Megan Fox and I've been thinking Machine Gun Kelly and G-Eazy are the same person on Instagram it is the biggest I can't okay like if you were me in my brain you would be like mind blown what the fuck I don't know if that makes sense so yeah that happened yesterday and I was like I literally just had like a oh fuck I laughed

out loud I'm like I am so dumb because like let me let me look at G-Eazy's Instagram I follow both of them this makes no sense my brain yeah like even when he posted this yeah it's sad this throwback with um Mac when he um Mac Miller here I remember like I posted that but he's not blonde and he's not punky looking so why did I think he was MGK anyways so that was my mind fuck number one mind fuck number two is um I saw someone talking about the iOS 14 update the iPhone the new update and I was like wait okay so first of all I've been thinking I have an iPhone 8 plus this whole time right I still have the little home button I've never had face ID I've um and also I've never updated my phone so I'm like okay I wonder what I wonder what version of

what software I have right um dude my phone's rocking it it's never it's never been slow it's never glitched it's like six years old I don't even know but I've thought I had an iPhone 8 plus this whole time so I'm curious so I go into my about and I'm looking at my phone Jacqueline's iPhone and then it's like software version 13.3 I don't update like I will not update my phone and so that means wait if it's 13.3 there's probably seven am I recording Jesus okay hi man bun damn um anyways that means there's probably been seven updates right that I haven't I've always said like remind me tomorrow I don't want to do it my phone's never slowed down it's fine but my model name this is the mind fuck number two is iPhone 8 plus or excuse me iPhone

seven plus so I have a seven plus I thought I had an eight plus so anyways I was like holy shit okay I have 4,500 videos on my phone 18,000 photos 124 apps still have like 100 gigs available somehow dude this phone's the shit um yeah I refuse to update sometimes I turn my phone into light mode to fix my depression do you guys ever do that so like if you're kind of sad, just go to your settings, and change your phone from dark mode to light mode, and you'll feel so much happier, in fact, I kind of want to do that right now, it's not staying on task, I am totally getting sidetracked here, but, oh my god, home button, what's this, choose your click, okay, I need to stop playing with my

settings, but the thing is about the, this is the thing, this is the thing, here's the thing, I feel like I'm I'm scared to get a new iPhone because I'm holding on to the last button you know what I mean like this button my home screen button is I don't know it's just it symbolizes something this is like I feel like this is the blackberry of fucking phones right now it's got so many buttons on it literally has one button but like I just like buttons I like clicking my home button I don't want to do face ID if I don't understand how that works you just tap the bottom me your phone anyways and there's way too many cameras on the new iPhones it's like too much it's way too much um like I said yesterday I mentioned that I don't like nice I kind of like

where's my journal I mentioned that I like when things are kind of broken and messy and shitty I'm sick of everything being like pristine and new and aesthetic and clean and all that so anyways okay so thick Thursday I told you the mind fuck I opened my bills which I'm proud of myself, I didn't have anything to pay here, except I do need to call my dentist about that one, um, they're still trying to suck some money from me, $255, I don't know, paid it off, so I don't know what's going on, let me drink some coffee, that's literally a dentist back in Washington too, um, oh, I have a couple songs of the day to tell you about, um, I'm crossing off my notes here,

I love Disney um like you know that Disney castle intro oh I just psychology facts here I was gonna read you that's from my um my fucking this summer oh shit that's the song of the day um but we'll get to that did you hear that I don't know my microphone sucks. Hi. Um, let me get my bearings here. Okay. So I'm like, okay, I got my paper. Oh, my journal. I was going to read a couple childhood journal passages. Um, looking at my AirPods here. I've never lost a pair of AirPods. I think it's like, okay. You know, people bitch about losing AirPods. They're like, yeah, I'm not my seventh pair of AirPods. Here's the thing. I've always said this. When I know something, I can't unhear it. I can't unsee it. I can't unlearn it. So my

brain goes I got these airpods it's very common to lose airpods people lose their airpods all the time so my brain goes Jacqueline keep track of these bitches like they're your children like I actively and consciously take inventory of where my airpods are at every single day in fact they're out of their case right now I'm gonna put them I'm gonna tuck them back in because I don't want to be one of those people that's like yeah I want my seven pair of airpods I just I make a point to keep track of them. I was raised right. Okay. Mom and dad, you did a great job. Like your daughter's never lost a pair of AirPods. Oh, I have exciting news to tell you guys. Okay. So today my, um, first package of soundproof comes and I'm going to do the big reveal of the color

I chose when the actual video launches. Cause you guys had input on my Instagram, like what color I should get and uh first burp of the podcast um yesterday I burped seven seven times I think so it's a thing it's a thing we're uh we're dating we're in the comfy phase the sloppy like hanging out with takeout just just what is it the comfy what do I say like I'm sick and tired of the I'm sick and tired of dating I just want to get to the sloppy like comfy phase with you know what I mean, like you're burping and farting in front of each other all the time and doors open. We were taking a shit, that type of stuff. So yeah, we're already there. I mean, episode 14, we're dating, we're in love. Um, yeah, anyways, it's that TMI. I don't give a fuck. Um, okay. So

solo circus, I'm a circus clown. My dad used to call me the Joker when I was a little girl. I remember it was a big deal. He, um, why am I saying this story right now? I was talking about my airpods I was raised right I've never lost a pair but I'll tell you the story about um my dad we all had so my dad was in he he was an editor we've always had like nice ass computers because he was into he was just into like technology and and like I don't know he always had like the state-of-the-art shit because of his job and we literally as little kids got Macintosh computers, like, those little box ones when we were, I don't know, I was probably, like, seven, maybe, and anyways, it was a big deal when he told us what our, because he configured all of

our computers, so they all, there was, like, a network in the house, and this was early on, this was, like, early 2000s, I think, I don't know, maybe it was, yeah, anyways, he, like, configured them so we could all play games, we used to play Marathon together, which was, like, before Halo. Halo came from Marathon. And if you know what Marathon is, if you've ever played Marathon, DM me, let me know because I want to play that again. So we would all like play each other through a network on our computers. Anyways, what I'm telling you, I said Joker, right? He used to call me the Joker because it was a big deal one day. I remember we were coming home from Home Depot. I was probably doing some like daddy daughter construction work with him, like helping

him out, building some shit. And he told me what my new, my new computer's password was going to be. And he was Joker. So, um, anyways, so I just like he, cause he's like, that reminds me of you. I don't know why I didn't get to choose my password. I don't think any of us did. My sisters was like track star. Maybe that's still her password for everything. This is bad. I'm telling you guys are a child of passwords. My brothers was cause we all like, it was such a big deal when I found out their passwords. What was my brother's Skywalker? Cause he, he was like so into star Wars and it was, I can't believe I just pulled that out of my brain. So mine was Joker. My sister's was track star and my brother's was Skywalker. My sister was fast as fuck. She

was so good at running. Um, she's like the, she's such a badass. Okay. First of all, shout out to my sister tangents who's liking these we're on a ride so it's fucking obstacle course we're on a roller coaster it's the solo circus hi my sister is such a badass she just finished law school she's in her first um she's like in her first law job right now law job she's my fucking sister's a lawyer holy shit that's what i was i was gonna say my sister's badass she's a lawyer she's like so fucking fit it's insane um shout out julia my brother is so sick too he is um he's like the best uh he makes the best music robert monroe on soundcloud or no rob mon r-o-b-m-o-n on soundcloud shout out all right patreon.com slash tjms i just plugged all of us um i made it on patreon and i'm

embarrassed but you know what if you want to check it out patreon.com slash tjms it's i don't know it's there. I'm probably going to keep updating it and like working on it, but I just made it for funsies because I'm trying to take this seriously. Okay. So, um, all right. I was telling you about a thick Thursday. All right. Um, okay. Who's been, okay. I'm going to read my journal, but I've been listening to some songs on the radio and a lot of songs now are like, you know, like TikTok songs you'll hear on the radio and whatnot. I'm kind of like annoyed by it because I'm listening to the thongs I'm listening to the songs and I'm thinking in dance moves like I hear parts of the song and I'm like that's a renegade

you know I'm like doing the I'm dabbing or whatever the hell I don't know the dance moves but it's kind of annoying because I'm like I'm like in my car kind of doing the move to the song just subtly like I'm not actually doing it but like in my brain I'm thinking in dance moves so yeah that's a thing 2020 you know tiktok dances whatever um I like literally wrote that down to say thinking and dance moves um should I talk about the two songs of the day and I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky I'll be there that's from one of my favorite movies uh just friends but that's the song of the day all for one um I swear second song of the day is Expensive Ty Dolla and Nicki Minaj I don't know if this is an

unpopular opinion or whatever but I'm like team Nicki over Cardi so I don't know like I don't just Nicki came first for me so I like Nicki I'm into Nicki I like this song Expensive ty dolla nikki minaj it's good like kind of it's like a good pump up workout song kind of i don't know um does this podcast suck i don't know okay uh other thing i was gonna i literally wrote princess pia mia here in a heart um because i don't understand why princess pia mia isn't a thousand times huger than she is and like more known and more like popping like why isn't why isn't princess pia mia on ariana's level her voice is so insane i it doesn't make sense i'd argue that it's better than ariana's like in my personal it's like my my personal opinion but

she does acapella videos on her instagram and on her tiktok and i'm like this girl is so talented but i feel like she's not that huge it kind of pisses me off i do like a song she has with g easy it's like um i don't know i don't want to get into it see i wrote a note about that shout out princess pia mia you're gorgeous you're so talented i wish i could sing like you maybe i can play like an acapella thing she did here for this um for the podcast princess pia mia princess pia mia she's like the most like she actually talks so sweet and like i wish i talked like her and i wasn't so like rough when i talked but we've already discussed that in previous episodes i'm trying to get over it this is how i sound um okay let me find an acapella oh my god

this. Guys, listen. What? Beautiful. She's just so, wait, what's this one? shout out princess pia mia i'm like i'm annoyed i'm like you need she has how many followers i'm not i'm not like i don't know how it works but i feel like she should have over 50 million and she has six so go follow princess pia mia on instagram listen to her acapella videos um i just wanted to get that off my chest so yeah holy fucking dms um sister liked a message oh yeah I sent her the Matthew McConaughey video of him sitting drinking some whiskey out in the field that's a good one that's a good little posty post from Mr. Matthew McConaughey um what else do I want to talk about today um I feel like look this daily podcast thing is gonna it's gonna

be all over the place up and down it just depends you know like some days are gonna be better than than others but I'm at the point now where like literally I feel like I feel like I kind of have to be like that housing development that fucking pops out pops up out of nowhere in your neighborhood you know like those housing developments that it's like a week will go by and all of a sudden there's like a whole army of new homes and you're like where did those come from you know what I mean so I'm like trying to crowd out the podcaster um podcasting space with doing daily podcasts because, dude, I might run some numbers here. You know, I'm a shrewd businesswoman. I'm a shrewd podcaster. I should run some numbers. Dude, data is everything, okay? I used to work at a

startup and I think that was something that was ignored when it should have been prioritized because numbers are everything when you're a businesswoman. And let me run some numbers here. so um so I do 365 podcasts a year so if you multiply that let's shoot me out because like look some people are put there some people's podcast numbers are plus they're over a thousand like that's how many podcasts they have so um in order for me to catch up and like be on that level I gotta fucking go let me go 365 times let's do five years five years puts me at 1800 episodes that's cool so yeah um let me put myself so in two years dude in two years I can't do this math times two is I love the calculator on the iPhone 730 episodes dude in two years

365 times three is going to be a thousand so it'll take me three years to hit a thousand episodes so I don't know like you know how Paris Hilton and this is Paris is like when she was a teenager she's like I just want to make a hundred million dollars like that was her goal that's how I am I'm like I just want to do a thousand podcasts so if I do one every single day for um excuse me that was coffee three years I'll hit a thousand I need a goal like that I'm really proud of myself because I've never stuck to anything this long I'm literally 14 days in 14 days in a row and I'm like dude I'm a shrewd businesswoman I'm a shrewd podcaster I may i'm crowding these bitches out that are doing it once a week crowding these bitches out

crowding these bitches out i don't understand like one podcast a week anyways that's my ego i'm michael jordan bitch better than all y'all bitches i don't know why i said that dude i'm looking at a cop car on the highway pulling like i have some great people watching and then highway entertainment here uh in airplane entertainment here in san diego there's a cop car someone is i don't really i can see a body leaning up against the curb like the what's it called the railing on the highway i wish cop cars were colorful like the whole they need to turn like cop cars should be like taxi cabs you know what i mean like they should be yellow and cheerful i think that's what we

need moving forward we need paint jobs on all these dark scary cop cars second burp of the podcast okay so I ran the numbers it's gonna take me three years to hit a thousand episodes um I'm housing development what did I fucking say I'm a housing development I'm a housing development okay I feel like I'm having fun now let's read some passages from my journal as a kid um I'm gonna wrap this up in like 15 okay so I have this leather journal it's purple um oh my god 2005 should i read okay so let me like find some good juicy parts i have a goodwill tag in here from shopping that makes no sense but i also have cascade mall presenting rebound the movie

it's a basketball movie i think dude my favorite movie of all time is a little a little bow wow uh what was the game what was the name of the movie basketball wait wait a minute google jamie google uh little bow wow basketball movie basketball why can't i think of the name of that movie was it just called basketball like mike oh my god like mike such a good movie basketball is my favorite sport i like the way they dribble up and down the court i keep it so fresh on the microphone i like no interruption when the game is on you like sam dunk take me the hoop. My favorite play is the alley oop. I like the pick and roll. It's basketball. Bow wow, let's go. We're playing basketball. You know that? You know that song? Did I just take you back? Do

you feel warm and fuzzy right now? Are we reminiscing together? We might be. Okay, back to the journal. I am talking too fast. Dear diary, starting Wednesday we had school, so that makes a three-day week. School was fun. We watched a movie. Tomorrow we have a swim meet in Everett that I am really looking forward to. Bye. My Joe face. That was 2005. And I wrote the time 7 40 PM. I'm so specific about it. I get so specific about it. Okay. Let me read some shit about like family stuff I wrote in here. It gets funny. Um, okay. Wait, August. Maybe I could find a passage from like on this day when I, in 2005, is this entertaining? I don't know. Um, dear diary okay wait no I drew a I drew a our hen house or our chicken coop

uh blueprint and that's actually what we used for it like the actual like my dad I think we built it from my picture I drew here I don't know um okay dear diary today I'm really confused and disappointed we were told to clean the whole house today and pick up the front lawn we did all of these things and relaxed the rest of the day till mom came home she wanted to know if the living room was vacuumed because there was a piece of popcorn on the carpet she made me vacuum again and commented the house feels dirty dirty she saw cereal and a dirty bowl on the table when she made this comment since when does a box of cereal and a dirty bowl define whether or not the house is clean I still can't figure out why she just can't pick them up and put them away now the moment I

try to relax she'll come up with with another reason why the house isn't clean I feel like I have to ask permission to do something as simple as lay down or else I'll get in trouble I'm such a little brat August 10th 2006 Thursday oh my god this is from a Thursday so yeah my mom was we were really um she had us whipped into fucking shape with keeping the house clean but I remember sometimes shout out mom like best mom ever going down in history is the kindest woman of all time mother Teresa helping a 92 year old stranger uh go through heart surgery because she was scared that he was okay this is like a story I already told yesterday but my mom is literally taking care of a 92 year old man not related to our family or anything and he had a heart attack

and she like rushed him to the hospital and she helped him and she's like still hanging with him I think so yeah shout out Jerry hang in there 92 you're killing it um but yeah my mom would like be really anal when she'd come home from work about this tiniest little mess it was off and on like she wasn't always like that but like I remember she'd be really disappointed if it's like she we had all day to clean and like she'd come home and there's a piece of popcorn on the floor. Like, what the fuck? That's not okay. So I wrote about that. August 13th, 2006. Dear diary, we painted the chicken coop red and white today. And I drew a paint bucket. How cute is that? So cute. Okay. This gets better. Let me go into like high school time. I think I wrote in high

school? Oh my god, there's a good one here. Oh, wait. Okay, literally I wrote this. What's the date? August 2nd? This is a few years later. I spend a ton of my time on Facebook and check it all the time. I have lots of good pictures of myself on it and get good comments. I literally wrote that. I wrote that. Facebook sadly occupies most of my time this summer. People I met on Europe trips from San Diego. That's kind of weird. Yeah. Some of my besties on my trip to Europe were from San Diego. Yeah. I like recognize that Facebook sadly occupies most of my time this summer. Dude, I wrote that I get, I have good pictures of myself and get good comments. I think that was just to like I don't know paint a picture um I'm craving UCLA college I'm craving

why did I say I'm craving that college I want to go to UCLA Anderson School of Management that's I really wanted to be I really wanted to get my MBA that was a thing um and I was like out of state tuition is $47,000 a year I would love to go to California which is like the most awesome place to go to college and there are many opportunities there see my mom when she found this this is a big deal she found my journal because she was cleaning out the garage with my sister this summer and it was a big deal I feel like for her to see that because she's been I feel like I feel misunderstood like she doesn't understand why I'm here but I've been thinking about moving to California forever like this has been my dream land so yeah maybe I should cut

these journal entries short and quit it um quit talking about it but I don't know I'm kind of having a fun time looking through here worked at Terry Queen today it was very busy the new mini Blizzard came out today it was very small that was one of my first jobs watch the season finale of The Bachelorette Ali chose Roberto 2010 mom and dad are mom and dad are at a hotel in Seattle so Julie and I are home alone tonight mom got back from Pittsburgh visiting Heidi and Dennis in the hospital. Yeah, he had lung surgery. Rest in peace. Dude, I get detailed with it. Avatar was the coolest movie ever I've ever seen. 3D IMAX. Yeah, don't do DMT. Just watch Avatar in fucking IMAX 3D. That was my first DMT experience. I don't know if I should talk

about that. Obama is president. I did like bullet points of shit going on in the world. apparently the world is going to end December 21st 2012 at like 8 30 I don't believe it at all next top model the Real Housewives Jersey Shore 16 and pregnant keeping up and keeping up with the Kardashian are my Kardashians are my favorite shows dude this is some juicy stuff I don't know if I want to read all of this maybe I should cut it short because every podcast I could read my journal from um made donuts worked out with at crossfit with my ma with mom and did kettlebells worked at dairy queen talked to my boss about oh yeah my boss shoved a ice cream cone in my face during my training and thought it was funny and my mom called him and bitched him out

i bitched him out and my mom she went in she added some extra muscle anyways i the last day my Dairy Queen job I had to um plunge a toilet in the men's bathroom for uh there was shit backed up in it that's how I that's how I left the building my last my last task at Dairy Queen was plunging a shitty toilet in the men's bathroom because like people off the street would come in and use it like as the public it was like the public restroom anyways I could talk about my jobs August 7th 2010 early smart early start this morning oh my god okay wait there's some juicy shit in here let me keep going you guys are welcome to dip out of the podcast doors are always open you're always invited to leave at any time my handwriting progressively gets better

as I'm growing up writing in here um wait oh I love this part I've read this before um oh I got my backpack stolen um okay okay so this is the story um the day before yesterday in the library they saw oh wait so I I feel like I had these guys um stalk me in the library and saw the contents of my backpack and so then they stole it because they knew it was in it so the day before yesterday in the library they saw me get a pencil out of my backpack and my ipod was clearly visible to them these scumbags were on craigslist looking to buy cheap ipod touches and fast cars oh that's the thing i saw them because i was at the library on the computers next time i saw them on craigslist looking at ipods and and cars and stuff i will

regret going to the library from now on instead of going to lunch all i was doing in there was checking my stocks on investopedia.com in economics we are playing a game and I'm ranked 61st I'm going to get to the first spot though I'm good at buying and selling stocks I really want all of my stuff back I hate the fact that I've been violated and ripped off it's very bad timing timing for this part of my life yeah I got my backpack stolen I lost so much shit I lost my wallet my aunt handed me down Gucci wallet so nice I still think about it uh iPod like all of my homework stuff books what else I feel like there's more valuable shit in there oh jewelry my watch my favorite watch um anyways but yeah I was in there checking my stocks I won the stock market

game in in uh my junior year the investopedia like um you can go on there and like join a game it's like all it's all paper trading there's no actual money involved but I remember I was like I'm gonna win this shit and I did I loved economics that was my favorite classes in high school okay the journal's over with we're stopped we're not gonna read this anymore and that was a fun little segment of the podcast I'll just you know close the chapter and be like you know what that kind of dragged on but it was a good segment I'm a housing development I'm a businesswoman I'm in house and I'm a housing development crowding these bitches out I gotta I gotta shove a podcasty on your throat every single day for three years until I hit a thousand

episodes so and I straight up cannot wait for um for my video podcast doing a seventh inning stretch I'm sore today guys I'm really sore it's weird though I'm like staring at my camera because I have my ring light set up in front of me just getting it all ready for for the video and it's weird I'm gonna be like addressing a camera in the future instead of just talking into outer space zoning out anyways all right so i'm gonna hit you with some psychology facts right now this is the educational component of the podcast okay so um am i coming down from this caffeine wait time out i'm on my last sip three tablespoons too much i'm gonna crash so these psychology facts are

on the document I compiled this summer when I did my take what you need uh I wrote take what you need on my Instagram post and then I put like an entire like a whole blog post you know I need to like put my microphone away from my mouth blog post of just interesting information and stuff that's helpful to know about so I put like psychology facts history facts recipes life facts, all kinds of shit. So I'm looking at that document right now. I'm like, guys, the fact I put together a document, like, I don't know. Okay. So, um, laughter is unconscious. You can't actually laugh on command. It will be fake laughter if you try to. That's true. It's unconscious. If you purposely laugh, it's fake. Um, you can only remember three to four things at a time. The

magic number of three or four interesting dopamine makes you addicted to seeking information yeah that's how I get my dopamine information overload oh my gosh wait that's it I didn't watch the social dilemma but like that makes sense how I've talked about information overload so many times like we are addicted to seeking information and learning new stuff it's like a vicious cycle um you can't resist paying attention to food sex or danger can i eat it can i have sex with it will it kill me those are the questions we ask ourselves you can't resist paying attention to food sex or danger yeah fear is the ultimate motivator um making others wait things that are close together seem to belong together things that are close together seem

to belong together that's kind of true let me observe my surroundings here okay yeah like think about what's a good example like a tv on a tv stand makes sense or like a coffee um machine and like a little jar full of the coffee next to it. I don't know what the fuck that is. Bite-sized chunks of info are best. Psychology facts. Want to see if someone is paying attention to what you're saying? Fold your arms. That works. I've done that. I consciously do that in conversation. I'm a mentalist. No, I'm not a mentalist. Wait, you know those people that are mentalists i don't know that's like crazy to me want to find out which people are close to each other within a group and who is perceived as a leader pay attention to who is looking at each

other when everyone in the group laughs at a joke people instinctively look and agree with a person look at and agree with a person they feel the closest within a group oh that's that's cool want to build rapport and gain respect match body language chew gum if you are nervous who's educate who's feeling educated right now psychology facts this is this is the next segment of the podcast I was thinking about let me refer to my note on my phone here um so we did we did we opened bills I told you about my mind fucks today with mgk and gez and my phone being a seven plus and not an eight plus mind fuck I read my journal from my childhood I just gave you some psychology facts it talked about my 24-hour update which honestly not a lot went on but now I'm gonna go

into my phone here um I was thinking about different segments I could do roasting my own Instagram pics dear Jacqueline segment question mark like you guys could write in dear Jacqueline and then like I could do self-help shit um I have a bone to pick with minimalism let me riff on this okay I thought about this last night so I've mentioned before that this whole like aesthetic stuff and like clean like you have this minimal approach to everything you do in life because of these minimalism documentaries and then when you look at pictures online they're all like aesthetic and like clean and there's just no messiness to it you look at an outfit it's like perfectly neutral and like clean and shiny

and new nothing is grungy and like messy there's no clutter if that makes sense like I recognize that a lot of people's whole like life is filtered because everything they do is so edited and curated and it's this whole thing it's like how people live their lives now because of it's like it's like they transform what they see on Instagram into their own life so this bone to pick with minimalism I wrote here because I feel like I I feel like I it robs me from my creativity in a bit or my joy from buying stuff that makes me happy like I I like clutter used to never bother me like I used to never think twice about like having a little tchotchke or something cute in my room and now I'm like oh it's it's a it's

driving me nuts looking at it and so I'll like go in phases where I'll strip all of my decorations out of my um my spaces and I'll be like trying to make it all minimal and clean and it and I'm pissed off I'm pissed off so I started following a lot of European people and they just don't give a fuck about that they they feel shit in they're like it's like messy it's kind of grungy it's like it's lived in you know what I mean so anyways I feel like I just I'm annoyed with the whole like like aesthetically pleasing minimal shit right now I don't know I'm trying to I'm just trying to like I want to buy shit that makes me happy and not feel annoyed that it's cluttery in my apartment does that make sense does anyone else feel like that but then I go to some people's

apartments and it's just overly cluttered and there's a there's a balance but I feel like I purposely don't buy stuff because I'm like oh this is adding clutter and I gotta act like Kim in Kanye and have a clutter-free house. Their house is crazy to me. I'm drinking the melted ice water right now. It's kind of making me sad. Okay, let's look at my note here. Your mom jokes. Can't do that anymore. Oh, I was thinking doing another segment where I teach you guys things that they don't teach us in school because I think that would be, like, helpful, I guess like have a segment where I'm diving into that this podcast sucks um I have a bone to wait I already said I have a bone to pick with minimalism

here's the thing about that and I have another kind of thing to go into related to the minimalism thing I talked about but like I just don't like how what I see online influences my choices if that makes like I'm in my head about stuff that I that's not even necessary because I've seen it so much and I'm like literally in the store I wrote this kind of um like imagine going to a store just picking up shit you need and not even caring or thinking about like brands and like what one's better and having to do a little google search and seeing if it's you know a clean product that's not going to kill you like imagine just walking

in and walking out in like five minutes and just getting shit because I feel like what happens to me and I don't know if anyone else can relate but like there's too many options too much information about what one's better than the like what product's better than the other product so what happens is you get you get paralyzed a little bit some like with shopping and and making choices and I'm like dude how much of our lives are wasted just trying to like make a decision so my new thing I'm working on is like getting shit done quickly without overthinking about is this toothpaste better than this toothpaste I don't give a fuck I didn't care about that when I was five I just brushed my teeth trying to like take my power back I'm trying to take my power back

from social media it's totally just over informed me to the point where I'm like I just can't get shit done sometimes because I find myself like I used to be worse about it than I am now but I would be like in grocery stores googling a fucking jar of I don't know like hot sauce or something like I don't even I can't even think of a good example or like fucking tampons I'd be like what one's better like oh oh like oh my god god forbid it's not organic and you know like chemical free shit I don't know um I was kind of saying on my little high horse here I feel like I'm good at filtering out the moral of the story yeah so guys here's my observation we all fucking signed up for social media we all got the apps like a decade ago I

just think of it in terms of like it's been a decade and honestly we all got this education we didn't really ask for like we all got flooded with information all of a sudden so for like the last 10 years we've all been in this it's like we've been in college or we've been in this second education of like what I mean by that is people started sharing tips people started sharing like you know if their profession was I'm a I'm a doctor it's like here's a doctor all of a sudden on social media teaching you healthy lifestyle practices or then you've got a nutritionist teaching you nutrition stuff and then you've got um an entrepreneur teaching you business skills and stuff so what I'm saying is like over the last 10 years we've been flooded with all this

information right and now I'm like this is how I think of it I kind of want to get funny and light I'm like okay so all the information ever exists we've all we've all been inundated with it for the last 10 years we've all been maxed out we're all fucking drugged out on information can we just file we need a filing cabinet we need an organization system I'm using my hands up here if you're on the video which you'll be on next month I'm doing a lot of hand motions can we just categorize all the information so it's like tucked away and then if we want to go discover it we can like go and find I mean that's actually how it is but I'm saying like can we just decide that like okay if you're still teaching me how to make a bowl of oatmeal

if you are still teaching me a morning routine if you're still teaching me like how much water I should drink every day if you're teaching me how to paint my nails and do my makeup still in 2020 stop stop all the information about that exists if you're adding to it it's just it's so unnecessary get creative do something different like come on that's where I'm at I'm like look how much like how many more times can I watch them apply foundation on a YouTube video and I have this theory about makeup okay I love makeup like I've loved it forever but it all looks the same it all fucking looks you put on like there's little tiny little variations and everything of course and better formulas and higher quality shit but like for the most part

if someone has a full face of makeup on of wet and wild or like fucking l'oreal and someone has a full face of makeup on of nars and chanel and um like i don't know like Kylie Cosmetics or I don't know some like higher end shit it all looks the same they still look like they have makeup on so I get annoyed I'm like dude it's all the same you swatch all the colors on your arm and it's like not it's not groundbreaking anymore nothing is groundbreaking anymore nothing is new I'm unfazed by new shiny products and water bottles to buy and um like hair products makeup products clothes I walk into Nordstrom now and I'm like oh yeah a pile of Levi jeans doesn't even light me up anymore like everyone's wearing Levi's it's all cool like

like a new pair of like a new outfit doesn't fucking do anything to me anymore I'm like I see this all over Instagram all the time and I'm like I just want things to be shitty and rough that's why I thrift shop I'm like I don't like buying new stuff like I hate I hate how everything is like the turnover time is like too fast everything is too perfect and shiny and nice and there's too much information so stop launching products we've we've maxed the fuck out okay if you want to solve if you want to solve the the um the climate change issues or whatever the fuck if you want to if you want to fix this fucking world stop just like everyone let's file away the information let's just say we have enough water bottles being produced we have enough

makeup brands being produced and just stop anyways that's my little rant for today so I had that thought it's my bone to pick with the internet but does anyone else feel like that I'm drugged out I'm drugged out on too much information but I'm finally taking action I'm finally applying Gary Vee a message of make content fucking pump that shit out every day and I'm a podcaster I'm a daily podcaster I'm a shrewd businesswoman I'm a housing development okay I'm getting European about this shit I'm messy I'm talking like a trailer truck driver what am I I'm a truck driver I'm a bonfire bitch I said that on a previous episode I have this inner um this weird dichotomy or whatever the fuck it's called where this personal challenge where I judge myself for

sounding like sounding like a bonfire bitch who sits around a bonfire and like has a course and she's just talking like a truck driver and then I have this other side of me that's like hi I'm super feminine I'm girly and you know and I'm like trying to I'm always trying to like pick a pick a side with that and I think that this podcast is just bringing out the bonfire bitch so whatever okay so I think we're rolling into the hour mark here um I think why do we drool why do we drool that's a question I asked here do you guys want me to talk about my dating experiences could where I could talk about dating my dating life past stuff going on let me look at my notes here if I have anything else dude I feel like we're coming to a halt I think we're coming to

the halt at a halt at a one hour mark um daily podcaster episode 14 we just did it again um I'm actually closing my notebook right now so I feel like the curtain's closing this is a movie theater you guys are at the movies you're feeling warm and fuzzy because it's like seeing the disney castle sound all the time like this whole podcast is that that's how i want it to be so just like get in your feels right now imagine yourself sitting back in a movie theater and you're so excited to watch this movie and then you're eating your popcorn there's so much fucking butter on it and you've got your little peanut m&ms your raisinettes you got your large Diet Coke or that's what I would get. I would get like the fucking biggest thing

a Diet Coke or a, what is it called? An icy. I always got the blue one. Anyways, that's the feeling I want you to get in your body right now. And you're sitting back and you're just like feeling so good. Cause that's one of my favorite feelings. Sitting in a movie theater. It's just like, when you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are. I could talk about my acting stuff when I was a little kid, all the songs I would sing. Oh, someone DM'd me and asked me about my grocery delivery experience earlier in the pandemic. My grocery delivery experience. I could talk about that. I could talk about some of the little, the jobs and stuff I started getting sucked into I got sucked into Primerica guys Primerica go look it

up yeah I got one of my old co-workers was like hey I think you'd be good at this I got sucked into it for about two days and I was like what the fuck I'm not gonna sell life insurance I was desperate I was like I lost my sales job I'm like wait a minute wait a minute we have a pandemic ahead of us I don't have a job what's going on and I like ran around like a chick with my head cut off trying to like find a job and it was insane but I started delivering groceries for people which is so fun um someone asked me to talk about that but basically yeah you just like buy groceries for people and you drop it off at their front door and it's so like that was that was really comforting to me at the beginning of the pandemic to do that because I'm like okay I'm

helping all these old people that are scared to leave their home so it felt good I was getting getting out of the house going into grocery stores and stuff I was so scared too I was like I was going in these grocery stores thinking like everything felt like a death sentence or the whole virus thing felt like a death sentence back then it was like oh fuck I'm everything felt gross and dirty and like I just didn't want to get sick but um it was nice to get out of my house and I did it for like two months I think like March April I don't know often on May. But it was getting me out of the house. It was getting me active. I was like going to Costco, buying like giant ass things of water for people, hauling it to their house. I'd have

to unload it all. I remember I went to the wrong house one time and then I had to like pick it all back up, drive to the right location. I got some free shit from people that were like, oh, I don't think I wanted this. Do you want this entire thing of paper towels? I'm like, sure, why not? I got like a whole thing of bounty paper towels from a lady who's like, we already have, we already have like six of these in stock. So, so you had a grocery delivery. Um, I, my first podcast I did was all about, I ran through every month of 2020 and I was explaining my life story and like everything I went through and did. So that was like, the grocery delivery was like the first phase, like trying to find a job was the first phase. Um, anyways, what's on this note here?

G-E-Z-M-G-K, thank, thank you to influencers for teaching us shit, but stop, we've all had this education from influencers for the last 10 years, and now they have the best life, okay, yeah, that's, like, what I just said, I literally wrote this on a sticky note, how I'm just, like, maxed out, I'm, like, yo, stop teaching me how to make oatmeal, stop teaching me how to drink water every day, the thing about that is, like, this is the last rant, I'm gonna end it, The thing I have, like my brain, when I think about this goes like this, it's like the most, okay. Influencers regurgitate the most obvious information. I learned my morning routine from my mom and dad when I was two years old. Jacqueline, wake up, drink water, brush your teeth,

like take a shower, put on your clothes, get going on your day. And why is it this fine? it's like this new like it's broken down so scientifically now by all these influencers telling us how to be the most optimized human being and wake up and have a morning routine and like it's it's so people take their shit so seriously and I'm over I'm like okay all of a sudden I care way too hard about the most obvious like life skills and daily tasks we didn't ask for this shit you know what i mean so if someone like okay i'm just gonna say there's a influencer influencer out there with the initials sc and we're the exact same age we have the exact same birthday shout out to you you're a you're a boss babe you're a what do

they call a girl boss like you've got something going on i give it to you but look it's not that serious like every I just like when people actually share on their stories every day like how like the exact details of everything they fucking do it's not important it doesn't teach people to listen to their bodies and listen to their intuition it's basically saying like here copy me copy my lifestyle copy what I'm doing and that's what everyone does and I found I fallen into that trap so many times where I'm like I'm not doing my own lifestyle I'm doing everyone else's lifestyle so don't copy me don't buy ice don't buy instant ice coffee don't don't wake up and do a podcast don't live like me don't um you know what I mean like do you bitch do you baby

girl I don't know I'm just saying like it's so annoying when people take it seriously like they're in their brain they're like I feel so good today because I like morning paged I took a cold shower I took a five minute walk to get my blood flowing I ate my I drank my oat milk latte and I put on my sweat sweatsuit I did you know like I got my new talentless sweatsuit on and then I checked my emails and I got back to everyone I listened to jazz music in the background like this kind of shit I'm like it's not that fucking serious so stop paying attention to it stop like living does that make sense i don't fuck with anybody like straight up if you're teaching me how to do shit on the on instagram in 2020 unfollowing instant unfollow stop educating

me i've already been educated the information exists let's file it away we need a filing we need a virtual filing cabinet for this shit elon make a filing cabinet produce a filing cabinet for information. We need a, you know, back in the day, and I'm old enough to remember the card catalog. Is that what it was called? The card catalog at the library? Yeah, I think that's what it was called. It was such a big deal when we got, like, scanner barcodes on the library books, but for a while, if you wanted to find a book, you had to go to the card catalog, and that little, we had a wooden card catalog. How many times can I say card catalog? and you'd pull out the thing and you'd like like look for the little I don't even remember like the

book code I don't know we had a such a vibe being in the library as a child there's okay this is how fucking I'll just expose myself there's a book I got from my not my school library but my um a book I got from my public library and it was like a Christmas book it reminded me of like I don't know I'm pretty sure Santa Santa Claus was in it and there's like elves and there was like I don't know it was just like so beautiful inside it was like gold picture book it was like big um trying to like describe it but you guys have no fucking clue what I'm talking about neither do I because here's the thing I never could remember what the book was called but I would go around the section I remembered it was in and I would smell

for it I would smell for it this book had the most intoxicating scent I have ever smelled in a book and I would go around as like I think I was like five or I don't really remember but I would go around the library in the section I still can like I can visualize the shelf it was on in my public library and I remember I was like it was the bottom shelf I still remember bottom shelf and I was like I knew the height of it I knew the width and I'm like where the fuck is it I just wanted to smell it again so I don't like if that gets you inside of that I don't know is that like I'm so quirky and weird I mean I did weird stuff as a kid yeah I just remember like going to the library and I remember asking the

the librarian specifically remember this I probably rode my bike to the library for my house that was the thing I had to like cross a bridge it's kind of sketchy but I remember like riding my bike to the library and asked asking the librarian the book with Santa Claus in it and like she just went fucking straight face like I have no fucking clue what you're talking about but anyways more stories trying to you know I have this issue I need to talk to my therapist about ending a podcast I get this attachment to it I get attachment to seeing the sound waves and if I stop talking it's like my heartbeat stops so who's staying entertained do you know what I'm saying I think it's over an hour um let's talk about the podcast so let's talk about

being a daily podcaster episode 14 episode 14 I'm in deep with the shit two weeks straight I made a patreon patreon.com slash tjms I don't really know what I'm doing but I feel like I had to do that um eventually run ads I think and I have on the the company I use that um shoots my podcast out everywhere they have a segment I'm on the website right now um there's a a thing here where it says what's cool is they will they will find they will find me sponsorships or whatever like yeah it says they do it they do it for me which is cool but eventually like it'll it'll have sponsorships active sponsorships that I have to talk about I think I have to I don't know how it works it's optional anyways I'm trying to like

learn about this um it's crazy okay podcast is too long I don't give a fuck I used to produce a podcast for a job I had I was like the one who would go in and listen to it all and edit it take notes write the whole description and upload it and you know what's wild to me is like a lot of my jobs have been like all about making other companies and everything like pop off and like look good and I'm like why don't I just do it for myself you know what I mean like at some point I'm like why am I I have the skills I can do it did I just stop recording fuck um what am I saying I'm just saying like I'm spending all this time making you look good I should just you know like I can do it too I got the chops I got the chops

I don't know I'm feeling myself like I said I'm just like pinching myself that I'll never get bored of doing this but eventually it's like Jacqueline people are getting sick and sick and tired of you talking about being a podcaster but here's the thing I gotta spit it out. I got to get all of it out. I got to just like, believe it so soulfully. So the more I podcast, the less I'll talk about being a podcaster and my whole creative process and my mindset, but it really hit me. I'm like, dude, you have time in the day for like an hour to sit down and talk and put it out every single day. So just do it. I'm holding my boobs right now. They're still sore. I'm getting real sexual with it. It's not that kind of podcast to go listen to call her

daddy that's the thing I'm like yo Alex like holy shit I would be like she has endless stuff to talk about in that department like dating relationships sex all that stuff like it just never I'm like every episode I'm like dude what's it gonna be this week um anyways what a crazy ass story with her and Sophia too if you know what I'm talking about daddy gang there's a guy at my gym that has a shirt that says daddy on the back and it makes me I have like a visceral reaction I'm like because that podcast I'm like instantly like call your daddy gang should I end this now what else could I fucking talk about thanks for dming me maybe I should check him right now um

uh you know any like little feedback this is kind of nice um I could open some right now I did a little thirst trap last night. Not really. I look like shit. But here's the thing. You run a risk as a woman when you post any like body part stuff on your, like I literally was just in my yoga pants kind of making a joke. And I said I did an upper body workout. Positive affirmation alarm just went off. But I said I did an upper body workout as I was like filming my ass in my yoga pants. And it was a joke, right? But you run a risk because it's like, okay, I know what I'm know what I'm getting into I'm getting a lot of flame reactions I'm getting a lot of dms I you know and I'm guys thank you whatever thank you I don't know what to say like I'm not I don't

know there's this is fucked up I don't care it's my life I got I got zero prospects on the gram right now I'd say like I thought I had a few prospects and I'm like I just I'm not feeling it with anyone so if you're listening and you think you're some you think you're you shot you shoot your shoot your shot with me all the time and maybe we've talked back and forth I'm just not feeling it so I gotta find a I gotta go find some uh new prospects sometimes what I do is I go to like a city and I'll like search it's so random like I'll I'll uh I'll like try to find people well I do it for San Diego I'm like who's posting I try to find new people that way the boys but uh like i said i'm not jacqueline's not she's not looking at getting any right now

she's just like vibing out with my daily podcasting and i'm not interested in dating people or like doing anything like that i'm just i gotta stay focused because i'm a shrewd businesswoman and i gotta deal with my daily podcast and um did i tell you guys the song recommendation and I swear in the moon and the stars and the sky now I'm just hanging out with myself um okay so DMs flame reactions should I watch Instagram stories and judge people that I muted oh like I'm following someone right now I'm like it's not that serious people this is the thing too what you focus on or you pay attention to manifests or how does this

work um okay so you know when people talk about like their problems online I think what it does is it recruits people who didn't think they had a problem it recruits people into thinking they have a problem all of a sudden like I didn't know about all these issues like the details and the specifics and like people love to have their little like they like identify with their problems and they talk about on social media because they're like oh this is good because it's relatable it's real and helping people if I talk about it it normalizes it whatever but I also think the negative thing about that I don't know why this podcast is getting deep I should have ended it this is probably the worst one I will say there's been a couple bad podcasts

it's probably one of the worst but I feel like what it does and it's personally it happened to me where I go I start thinking like oh I'm I kind of feel like that's me too or like I have that issue too and then I'm like until I it came across my feed I never thought about it and so it's like it's annoying because now it's again like you become hyper aware of stuff that you didn't ever think about and then now I'm like people make their entire like narrative about who they are in themselves about around their problems and they like package it up and sell it to people every day and so Jacqueline is the poster child she is the um she is the I am the poster child I am the mascot of knowing you have problems and then only focusing on solutions because

wallowing and having little pity parties and the more you talk about your problems it's just like go to your therapist talk it out on a podcast do what you got to do but work on like make solutions sexy make like and that does not mean like you need to share your little routines and everything you do in the day to overcome your problems like just do it I don't know I'm just in my head about this so much but yeah like I don't know if you guys relate to that like I just see so much self-help shit I'm like I didn't even know that was a thing let's all be five again man let's just all be on the playground again let's be on the playground again on the playground we didn't get we didn't know about this shit we just we just like woke up

like you know drink drink some water mom i'm hungry you have a pop tart have some fucking scrambled eggs put your backpack on go to school there wasn't all this extra there there wasn't extra information in your brain like oh there's a stalling there's a traffic jam on the highway right now they're doing this pace car thing again this cop is a couple days ago I had a cop bobbing and weaving like a pace car he zigzagged on the highway and then a bunch of cars are behind him I think they do this when there's an accident but all right I'm gonna end this podcast I think that was enough. I think I squirted it all out. I'm a squirter. I'm a vocal squirter. I'm so not sexy. I'm a word squirter. Describe yourself in two words. I'm a word squirter.

I can't even say it. Too much saliva in my mouth. I'm a word squirter. TMI yeah they're all stopped on the freeway okay I will say someone dm'd me yesterday and put me in the category of like he listed three podcasts he listens to that's helping him get through it right now and he put me and a couple other j name podcasts in the mix of the list and I'm like goddamn thank you thank you that's really flattering actually like and he said oh I mentioned something about waterfalls sitting by a waterfall oh the Duncan Trussell quote yesterday I mentioned about guy a guy sitting a person next to a waterfall right now no clue about coronavirus is the happiest person in 2020 it was something like

that but he said when he heard that part of the podcast he was walking by a waterfall it's like yeah it's a simulation dude we need 3d glasses I think the reason why we can't tell that we're in a simulation is because we're not wearing 3d glasses I'm convinced I'm gonna get does blue and red shits on my eyeballs and I think that's going to be the um that's when I'm going to be like oh yeah proof right here I can see it through my little eyeballs that this is a simulation we need 3d goggles that's I'm thinking about 3d glasses because I've I've mentioned movie theaters like 10 times in this podcast I'm such a vibe like getting your little 3d glasses before you saw a bug's life in 3d okay got a guy walking his pit bull I'm getting on

this podcast I have a little is my tummy hurting no one last drink of water have a great Thursday see you tomorrow for the Friday cast I might do a Q&A I don't know I'll probably I do I do want to roast my Instagram pictures tomorrow or it'd be kind of funny if you guys did and I could read your roast like send me a DM of a picture of me and just blast me and then I can chuckle about it tomorrow chuckle I'm trying to bring about the 50s slang all right you little knuckleheads hi okay I'm gonna end the podcast in three two one have a great Thursday I'll talk to you tomorrow okay bye