The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 140- Jimmy Dean

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

Happy Thursday!! :) Trigger Warning: I talk about diarrhea A LOT in this episode. Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

what's up guys happy thursday it's episode 140 i got a puppy what's up welcome back to the show All right, everyone, just step forward, come closer, gather around. I'll wait for the people in the back. Just give us a second for everyone to gather for this episode. Um, dude, I'm in my kitchen. Like I'm pretending I have an audience right now. Cause I need to inspire myself to bring the energy right now because I'm trying to pretend like I have an audience to perform for because the amount of tiredness I feel physically is borderline uh what am I trying I feel drunk I'm so tired day two with my golden retriever puppy life-changing experience never thought that a puppy could make me this happy and like change my life this quickly but no regrets

everything's amazing just understand that I didn't sleep a second last night I'm paranoid currently that the dog isn't going to make it through the night we'll get into that I'll tell you guys about the first night with the puppy I'm going to tell you guys his name uh I don't know let's just get into it first off if you're new if you're new I'm here 70s a week hit that subscribe button and head over to patreon.com slash TJMS. That's my bonus content section of the internet where you get access to more of me. You know, if you like the show, if you enjoy this and you want more, head over to patreon.com slash TJMS. All right, let's get into it again. Everyone just like please silence your phone sit down um sit on your hands stop fidgeting um like I'm looking at

my palm tree right now I had to raise I had to raise it up because it's going to kill my puppy if it eats it so I'm pretending that's a person right now I'm currently like I said I'm in my kitchen the puppy's on the couch he's in my you know in my vision right now um I didn't want to podcast next to him like I did last night because I feel like it's just too much energy next to him and too much hype and uh he's currently very tired and maybe sick we'll get into that um so where do I want to start I just want to let you know I'm drinking a gingerade kombucha got that on board tonight I used to drink these no joke like every no joke I used to drink kombucha every single day when I

moved to San Diego like I didn't miss a day I drank one every day did you believe like the reason I repeated that is because I feel like someone in the audience just like what they weren't listening and so I did okay why am I doing the audience thing why am I why am I putting on a show for no one in my apartment am I crazy this is called hi I have a baby puppy I didn't sleep last night I'm trying to be entertaining basically um I repeated myself and I was annoyed I repeated myself because I wanted to like hit it home that I drank kombucha every day for like two years and anyways this is the first time I've had it in a minute and uh it's so refreshing and nice I love kombucha so that's what we're drinking tonight um I just washed my face finally I just like

cleaned myself up okay let me just take you through because last night I talked to you before bed. So I'll pick you up. I'll pick you up where we left off. Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean. That's the dog's name. I came up with that this morning. Okay. It came to me. Jimmy Dean, this little Jimmy, he's a gold retriever. He's Jimmy. Okay. Jimmy is his name. And I'll tell you how I knew his name is Jimmy. I'll get into that. Um, Waylon was my second option and every time I said it though I was like thinking of all the other golden retrievers I know that are named Waylon so I was like I just can't name him that even though I love Waylon it's like such a good dog name um he's little Jimmy uh it just came to me uh first it was Joey and that

came to me after he took a shit in my bed last night we'll get into that I thought oh little Joey like you're Joey and then this morning I thought Jimmy Dean because Dean is a middle is my middle name now I'm telling you guys more information about myself that's embarrassing yeah my middle name is Dean uh string it together Jacqueline Dean Monroe it's a family name I love it I feel like it's very my name is so classic I don't even it's like so 60s classic anyways Dean is a family name so little Jimmy James Dean Jimmy is short for James Jimmy Dean all right and I posted a picture of Jimmy Dean sausage on my story to tell you to reveal his name because of course Jimmy Dean he's a CEO my little pup's gonna be on Instagram as the sausage CEO of the

internet I'm gonna like make some sort of account for him that's funny with like sausage and Jimmy sausage. I don't know. Um, Oh, I just got a message on my, see, I love having an Apple watch. I get texts on it here because update my Apple watch is great. My mom, she got me this for Christmas. And anyways, she just said, texted me cause we just FaceTimed. Uh, cause I'm worried about him. She texted me, sing to baby Jimmy somewhere over the rainbow. That's what my mom always sings me whenever I was sick and had the flu or my tummy hurt or whatever my mom would come in um I love I have this thing with my mom why am I going into it I was just telling you that his name is Jimmy Dean now I'm telling you guys about my mom rubbing my feet and singing somewhere of

the rainbow basically every time I was sick as a kid even now like if I'm home my mom will come in the bedroom my feet will be like she'll tuck my feet under the blank like you know when you get your feet tucked in. She would do that. And then like rub my, just like rub my feet and sing somewhere of the rainbow. And she's been doing that my whole life. So I need to sing. I need to sing that to Jimmy tonight because I'm worried about him. All right, let's get into what happened. Let me pick you up where we left off last night. Um, he didn't eat dinner last night, but I was like well maybe this is because he's nervous is it it's his first it's his first night home you know this is this happens with new puppies so I was like okay I'm not gonna force

him I tried to hand feed him he wouldn't take any food so um I even tried one of the treats I got like a little tiny treat nothing he wasn't eating at all so I was like okay well I don't know he's probably nervous so next thing I know we're in bed and because he had gone I told you guys a story on how I put his harness on yesterday and his little leash and I took him outside for the first time to go the bathroom and he immediately shit so I was like oh this is great it's great sign he shit right off the bat so I thought okay he's little that was right before bed he's gonna make it through the night. Well, that didn't happen. This dog. Okay. It's a miracle. My white sheets did not get obliterated with his, with his shit. Um, this is going to be my dog shit a lot today

episode, just trigger warning. I may be talking about how much my puppy, uh, is shitting right now. So, or maybe I should make this sound more eloquent and, uh, like professional and as if I'm vet my dog's stool is liquid okay it's he has diarrhea so basically we went to sleep I I don't have the crate it's not coming until tomorrow so I thought the first couple nights he'll sleep with me um that's fine like whatever I'm not making a big deal out of it and he wants he likes to be close to me so whatever I thought this is gonna work and for the most part it did like when we first went to sleep he was snuggled up by me I kind of like made a little bed for him within my bed so that he kind of stayed in one spot and was cozy and then like a couple hours passed

it was like I think I looked at my clock and it was like 12 30 a.m and he's getting up he's making he's there's movement in the bed and I knew what that meant because I've had puppies I know what happens in the middle of the night. They pee, they have to go to the bathroom. So you got to take them out. Well, I didn't have time for that. He shit over my, all over my bed so quickly. It was like impossible for me to stop him. I just, I just, it was like slow motion. I see him move. And then all of a sudden he's in a squatting position. And next thing I know, I just like hear it and see it. And I'm like, Oh my God. It wasn't like he did a little tinkle in my bed. he full-on shit the bed and it was a lot and it was diarrhea I was very alarmed and again this is

just that kind of episode I'm here's here's what I do on the show I go through the 24 hours of my life because I do it seven days a week and I update you guys on literally every little thing I can remember so this is what happened from like 10 p.m. until I well we woke up around six or seven. Um, I was up all night with this dog. So I cleaned him up. Uh, is he going to jump off the couch right now and fall? Oh no. Jimmy, you got it. You got it. He's a figure. He's figuring it out. I'm proud of him. Now he's going to go shit. Cause he, whenever he gets off the couch, he has to go to the bathroom again. Go drink water. Go drink your water. Please drink your water very good job oh no he's gonna pee pee okay he's peeing on his pee pad the thing I decided

with him is he's clearly got some stomach issues right now I'm not gonna scold him until probably Saturday because we're going to the vet tomorrow like I'm not gonna be an asshole to him and make him feel terrible for having diarrhea you know like so anyways last night and I don't know what the experts say, what the experts say, you got to nip it in the ass every time, no matter how sick they are. Like he's clearly got an issue, like a parasite. Okay. So I just had to go clean his accident up. Sorry. Like, I know, I don't know how that just flowed in conversation. Cause I had to like cut this to go help him. Uh, but yeah, clearly there's something going on. I'm not going to be mean to him or like yell at him right now. Cause I just want him to feel comfortable

with me and not feel scared here. So we're going to the vet tomorrow. Long story short, I looked everything up. I'm pretty sure he has like colitis or something, you know, common with puppies, but I've been extra paranoid because I'm a new mom. And of course I, I'm just like, I, I want to keep them thriving and happy and alive. And, uh, even before this, cause I was, I, I even worry when he sleeps. I'm like, like, you should have seen me last night. So after he had diarrhea, okay, let me go back to the story I'm watching him sleep I'm the mom in bed with my eyes open not sleeping because I was worried that much for him even tonight before I recorded I was googling like I was making sure that he was not sleeping well I don't know like puppies sleep like 20 hours a day

so I shouldn't worry but I still do like I look up everything on google I'm constantly checking I'm I'm very um yeah I'm worried I'm a worried mom I don't know what else to say I mean if he was shit and solid it'd be a different story if you had like a normal um bowel movement my god okay so basically this one this what i okay this is what i want to tell you guys that episode i just described i really don't want to talk about pooping anymore it happened i think a total of five times on my bed uh throughout the night um i couldn't like here's okay let me just be honest because you're probably like well if you saw him move and get up why don't you like take him off your bed and like bring him outside or you know it's not like I I knew he might be uncomfortable

in pain his stomach probably hurts um I didn't want to like pick him up and like rush him outside when he's got diarrhea I don't know I don't know what I'd honestly what shoot me a dm what do you recommend so I just kind of let him poop on my fucking bed just I let him do it uh I watched it and I was just like you got this buddy it's okay just fucking you know get it out whatever you gotta do um I made sure you like didn't step in it and then you guys understand I have piss pads everywhere I have blankets like extra blankets nothing was like destroyed as far as my bedding and I clean like I have gotten a full CrossFit workout today with the amount of cleaning I've been doing because I'm trying to keep everything sanitary and not like I'm using chemicals here but

anytime he has an accident I'm like completely cleaning it I'm not I'm not being uh I'm not being a slacker about that or like half-assing those jobs because I want to make this environment like good for him and I don't want him feeling like he lives in his own shit like that's the worst thing. So anyways, so it happened a few times in the night. There was a few patches of sleep where I found him on my neck, like a neck pillow. He cuddled my neck all night. And then he like slept, like he, he was the big spoon. He had like a, he was in like a stretched out position with his like arms forward over my shoulders. And then he was like spooning me. So that was fun. Um, his spirits have been, they've been pretty high all day other than

tonight. Um, which I think is just cause he's tired. He's, you know, puppies sleep a lot. I gotta, I gotta go back to that. I shouldn't be worried that he's tired and sleeping cause he's a grown boy. So what happened today? I woke up. Oh my God. I felt like I'm a new parent. This is what it feels like to have an infant. I felt drunk. I was so tired. I think I rolled out of bed at like six or seven and I checked my Apple watch. Cause I can see what my sleep is. And it was like the gaps where I wasn't sleeping. Like the amount of, I don't know what the total was. I think it was like two and a half hours total. Like if actual sleep, everything else was like me awake, staring at him, staring at him cleaning, like, you know? So I woke up and I was

like it's it's Thursday this is a work day I have so much to do I feel like this is what it's like to have an infant and have a full-time job and like have to pull everything together um I had like forgotten to take my makeup off my mascara off last night so I woke up and I had but somehow I put on my skincare like this is so like messy so I had oil and like Vaseline like my normal skincare all over my face but I didn't take my mascara off so I woke up with like raccoon eyes and like grease because the oil and everything it kind of stays on in the morning so I'm like oh my god I just like I was haggard I was so haggard and then I was a zombie I'm like I don't even know if I want coffee I just want to go back to bed but I have work to do I'm like oh my god and

then he was getting, he was getting his day started, running around, playing with his toys, drinking water. He hasn't, that's a one thing that I've paid attention to, his appetite and his water. His water intake is, it seems normal and he is eating. But the thing I'll say about the eating is I, I tried hand, hand feeding him the first night. Again, okay, here's what I want to say. If you're tuning in right now and you're like, okay, this is her show. She talks about her life every day. I just want you to understand that this is going to be for the first, I don't know, week of the puppy, a heavy puppy podcast. Like you're going to hear obvious information about what it's like to be a new mom, a new dog parent. I don't even like calling myself a dog

mom. Like, you know, like you're going to hear about it. Okay. Just roll with it. Roll with it. Okay. I don't know what else to talk about. Cause this is pretty much all that happened today. Me and the puppy and work. So yeah, he ate his breakfast, but it took him like an hour to eat all of it. Like he wasn't really, it's not like he's eager to go get his breakfast and run over there and eat it all really quick. Like he took his time with it. Um, which I think is kind of normal with puppies it just I don't know I'm gonna pay attention to that um but he had good spirits all day and then this afternoon and tonight he started having his accidents again um took him out he went the bathroom outside and then he's like still shitting inside like

he's still having it's like honestly every couple hours he has to go so it's gonna be a long night again if this is what I have to um manage because I and I see him sleeping right now I feel like he might just sleep good like I might have to wake up at 2 a.m and then take him out and then that's it you know or it might be like every other hour no complaints like I love him so much he's literally the best thing that's ever happened to me I've never felt more like I don't know it's like a joy and a love and a you're he I just like can't stop looking at him and like petting him and I just want to be with him all the time so where was I at um okay I don't know like today I had like meetings and like work to do and it was one of those like over caffeinate and then you're like

cracked out on so much caffeine and no sleep it was it was it was a mess like I don't know I finally felt kind of normal this afternoon um my stamina like somehow came around but which was good because I had meetings this afternoon but first night with a puppy was uh rough r-u-f-f pun intended rough it was very rough and I know everyone has a different experience you know a lot of people throw them in a crate and that's honestly what I wanted to do, but I, it's, it's getting delivered tomorrow. So just wasn't in the cards and I could have locked him up in some sort of cage. I could have made a cage. I have a, I have a pirate's chest. I could have put them in, in my living room.

It's fucked up, but you know, like I was like, okay, he's sleeping with me. And, uh, I guess, so I've been on the phone with, um, the, uh, the owners, people I got them from, and they've been helping me and I'm going to go get them checked out tomorrow. Cause, um, you know, it's, it's a common thing. I was all over, like I said, Google and YouTube watching vet videos and what they were saying. And it's so common with puppies, but I think like I was FaceTiming my mom and my sister tonight and they were like, yeah, when I had like, my sister was telling me about when she had her horse, she's like, I was so hyper aware of every little like vital sign he Like every little symptom that was showing, like I was constantly just like a hover parent, helicopter parent with everything about his health.

Because you worry, you just want them to be okay and you don't want them to be in pain. And he's sleeping like a peaceful angel right now. So, you know, and my mom made a good point. She said, you know, Jacqueline, when you're sick and you have the flu and your tummy hurts, you just sleep and you're calm. You don't have a lot of energy and that's the same for puppies. it's not a sign if they sleep they're dying um it's healing time it's growing time it's resting time so um trying to think if there's anything else to report oh I watched Joe Biden stick a lot of pens in the uh what are those called those bills he was signing today there's

like they have these what are like folders he's like next up I'm gonna sign this bill about and like okay and he would like put the pen in between it as he shut it and then it would like fuck up and then I don't know did anyone watch that today it was kind of funny like uh shout out new prez uh shout out your hand-eye coordination with that because it was honestly so entertaining to see kind of the like because he wanted to shut it but then the pen was still in there so then it was like sticking up like the the folder was and there was I think a lady collecting the pens and it was like this confusing dance between them two but um I've been having I've been uh all over I've been having what am I trying to say again I'm delirious and tired I've been uh watching

all the like joe biden news and all that inauguration stuff all over um all over on mute on my tv today like i've had it on the background just kind of watch it and um it's just so weird to see like it's like trump's a ghost you know it's like he's gone and it's like whoa and biden's there and it's such a different feeling and it's gonna be an interesting first I guess six months to see what unfolds um I will say that tone after the inauguration seems to be like there's this calm energy in the air around the white house or something like I don't know everything just like seems very zen on CNN like everything's like calm and good and um it was hilarious my brother sent a uh video he's watching cnn he had it on tv and

he's like where did the coronavirus death ticker go like all of a sudden joe biden's president and then that counter is gone like what you know like literally the day after he's inaugurated they took that off cnn like what the fuck um you know what i mean because they had that fear-mongering counter all year last year and every time he turned on the news it was like 300 and some thousand people have died and it's like every minute you're watching CNN the clickers go and people are dying from COVID and you know so yeah it was funny my brother sent that he's like what you know it's not interesting it just goes away poof um I'm trying to think if I can add anything else to my day I got these little uh lilies these flowers at Trader Joe's and they're really droopy usually

these are perky and like cute but they're wilted kind of but they're blooming but they're blooming like straight down if that makes sense like they're my lilies are drooping over the vase instead of sticking up I don't know um so I used to stay up so this feeling I have right now is familiar, this tired feeling. It's been a long time. So I'll just tell the story. I moved in with a guy right when I moved to San Diego, like within a month. Okay. And we would stay up until literally on average, I would say 2 AM, but a lot of the nights were four or five in the morning. And it was a lot of smoke and weed, a lot of like creativity in the middle of the night, just like doing all this cool stuff and we would yeah like that was the that was the rhythm of our

sleep pattern be like we'd stay up until really really early in the morning and then we wake up at like 11 a.m or 10 or 11 every day and that was normal and I remember my body never really adjusted to that um even though I did it all like almost every day like I'd stay up past midnight up until like 2 3 a.m but i would always wake up at 10 or 11 feeling drunk like so tired i was drunk like it was it was like a like i i couldn't even and i and i i couldn't eat i was like my i had zero appetite i was always tired and my body felt physically like stripped of energy all the time from doing that and that's how i feel right now so that was that was not a good situation by the way if you're like oh what was that about well just understand not a good situation glad I'm out

of it but um learned a lot took a lot away from it and learned a lot about myself and relationships and people and boundary setting and you name it I learned it and I'm so happy that I made a crazy ass decision to move in with someone and just do something like that because uh I feel like it made me who I am today, and it, yeah, honestly, I think in life, we have a lot of, or I don't know if a lot, but you do have those, you do make decisions, like, you have those decisions you've, you've made, sorry, I'm struggling, because I am that, I am so tired right now, you make decisions where you might go, oh, I wish I didn't do that, or that kind of steered me the wrong way, but you always come out the other side with something to take away a lesson a positive golden nugget of wisdom and

I kind of think we need to embrace that and we need to accept those parts of ourselves that are kind of risk we're risky and we take we're spontaneous and we want to live life on the edge a little bit and so when we do that and shit hits the fan we kind of asked for it going in we knew that going in and, um, you kind of don't know what you don't know until you're on the other side. So puppers drink water, please drink water. He's right by his water. Oh no, he's going to try to go to the bathroom again. I'm watching his, um, movements. I'm just trying to make sure he's, he's okay. Sorry. This is like real life. You guys are in my, uh vision right now me watching my puppy I told my mom and my sister we were facetiming and I said

I I know I'm gonna be in for a a wide I'm gonna have like one eye open one eye closed all night and just uh you know a worried mom and I want him to be well and I don't want to miss the beat like I just would feel terrible if something happened and I wasn't paying attention you know so like even right now I want to like get my I want to like take my laptop and like walk around and watch him. In fact, I might do that. Let me just report on what he's doing. Did he have another accident? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. He's got something going on. I, um, that's kind of, it's, uh, bloody. He's like got a little vampire butt. Where'd he go? Are you under the, wait, he like is so tiny. I can't find him where'd he go I think he's under my ottoman hi you have an infection in your intestines

how are you feeling let the audience know do you want to talk to the camera or talk to the microphone are you happy I think it's like when you have IBS or like if you're out there listening you're like yeah well sometimes my stomach hurts and I have diarrhea for a week well it's probably the same for him but he's a puppy and I'm freaked out so um anyways I have a lot to do tomorrow I'm probably gonna end this now um other than his stomach problems he's amazing and uh do I am I mad at the owners if they didn't say what's up and they lied to me like I don't know if they knew about this ahead of time and because the words I heard out of their mouth were he's had solid shits he you know they are solid now and that's what you want when a puppy

um you want them to not have diarrhea and it's wild that he's literally got like chronic diarrhea the first day I'm with him and it's as if it's been going on for a minute if you know what I mean? But, um, they've been really helpful. I've been, you know, like I said, on the phone with them and, um, shit happens, you know, puppies are puppies and he's chewing my antlers. It's probably going to give them even more problems. My sister was like, did he, did he eat something? Did he, you know, jump off your bed in the middle of the night and like chew something poisonous? Like, is it that? And guys, like, I literally don't take my eyes off him are you chewing my book he's so cute he's the cutest face but he kind of changed his um

I noticed tonight his expression kind of changed like it just looks more like droopy and kind of like not kind of sad where he's he's not sticking his tongue out a like here's the thing puppies sleep 20 hours a day so this is like supposed to happen and I'm I'm thinking of it as oh he's sick fuck okay I'm just annoyed anyways that I did I talked about so many shitting details with you guys today but that's it that's the episode um I posted on Instagram I said because I I said what his name was I posted the picture of Jimmy Dean Sausage and I said this is this is his name it's Jimmy Dean and the feedback I received it was like oh you I thought you're gonna name him this or oh what about this like oh what about this

and I was like nobody even no not a single person well shout out Ozzy Ozzy did say he liked it he's a patron by the way patreon.com slash tjms uh he's a patron he liked the name so my family liked the name I ran it by everyone I love it um but what was I gonna say oh so I went to Instagram and I said like the fact no one was like oh that's a great name or oh cool name the only feedback I got was oh what about this instead so I was just kind of I was just like kind of annoyed you guys that follow me on Instagram. I was like, what the fuck? Why don't you like Jimmy? Jimmy Dean is such a good name for a dog. Jimmy Dean. It's cool. Like, it's fun. I feel like he's a character, like, when he's been in High Spirits, he's got this little comedic sauce

and charm, and he's a little Jimmy in my eyes. So, yeah. You know, I had, like, all the names. I had Benny, Bentley, Benji. I had, what are the other classic names? Cooper, Cody. I've done Buddy before with, that was my first golden. What was my other one? I had like Randall. Like I found names that were kind of sophisticated and kind of grandpa because I thought it might be nice to name him that when he's like a big boy, you know, like a Randall. But I like little Jimmy. And then I saw because just to confirm that oh he's perking up yeah like every time he's he's chewing stuff like running around I'm like yes keep going keep moving I want him to sleep hard tonight he's chewing uh he's chewing a toy so um I went to accounts on Instagram I literally typed in the search

Jimmy the blank because like I knew a bunch of accounts are like for dogs are like Jimmy the sock destroyer or jimmy the golden retriever jimmy the bulldog like you know how dog accounts are named so i typed that in and i was looking at golden retrievers named jimmy and i was just like yes um there's someone i follow is it jay alvarez jay alvarez yeah he has a golden in hawaii named cupid and i think cupid is such a cool name for a dog but anytime I wanted to name him something, like name him the same name of a golden retriever. I, I, I already know about it. Like, didn't it work for me? Like I couldn't do it for some reason. And I know that might be dumb, but I feel like I'm copying or like, I just can't do the same

name if I've already. Okay. So hi, wag that tail, wag it, show me the energy. Come here. he likes my slippers he likes my toes too oh I have a story so this podcast is like kind of dragging on now I'm like over exerting my energy because I was so tired to start with and then now I'm just pushing past I'm tapping into my reserves my extra fuel um this morning he was like playing around you know bright and early and he was kind of in the corner of my living room and I was like what's he playing with and it was like this little black box and I'm like oh f-u-c-k oh fuck like I knew exactly in that moment that is my rat trap that I forgot to remove from the perimeter of my property here my fucking living room and he I saw the moment he like I saw everything like he

didn't eat the poison like in fact it's so tucked in like the rat has to or the mouse has to like walk in the little chamber to get it so it's completely enclosed in plastic you might be thinking well he probably got some sort of like piece of it because that's probably why he's so sick okay so if it was if he got him if he was poisoned his he would not be moving he would be like heavy breathing vomiting um like really lethargic I know what to look for it's he wasn't rat poison this morning but anyways the story I'm trying to tell you is I see in like a blink of an eye I see him have like have that in his paws and he's about to like eat it or just like play with it and I did I literally did a fucking high jump off my couch because I was on my laptop on my

couch and then like I don't know how my laptop made it through this jump it somehow landed on my ottoman and as I went to grab the rat trap the mousetrap from him I like jammed my pinky toe it like it like cut like the top skin part of my pinky toe completely came off like it drew I just cut myself so deep from trying to save that little guy from getting that rat poison and like those are the lengths I'm willing to go for this guy like I will do anything for him no he's just peacefully sleeping this is what they do they just go high low high low their energy it's so cute um but yeah now my toe like it's constantly throbbing because it was bleeding all morning and I just I can't believe I missed that and then I remembered I had like

four more in my apartment so I had to make sure I got them all and uh picked them up but anyways I'm so excited the one thing I'm really looking forward to with him is like training and taking him finally being able to like go on long walks with him when he's bigger and vaccinated and ready for that because right now he's he can't go like in the city and fucking get a disease because jesus um he's already got one clearly bubba little bub no he's venturing off in the kitchen he seems to get literally this is day two so i'm just like okay from the first night i witnessed him get a second wave of energy before bedtime which i kind of don't mind

because I like that he acts alive I like that he doesn't act sick so that's positive um but it also like tires him out I feel like yeah dude he's so perfect he's yeah he's starting to like play around right now this is a good sign you guys are sitting here with me going through it how was your day do you have a puppy are you do you have coronavirus puppy what is it called a pandemic puppy um I'll be super straight up I think I told you guys this yesterday this was not a it was a quick decision or it was like I knew I think I already repeat so if you're new I think I told the story yesterday though um to the people that have already heard it basically I knew I wanted a golden I wanted a

dog and then every time I saw another breed I just kept going back to Golden's like because of course I was looking at shelters I wanted to rescue and versus adopt and I ended up adopting come at me come tell me how terrible I am like like I I know I know all about why we need to rescue okay I know basically I think what I want to share with you though about that is I will all I can't wait to rescue dogs later on. Like I, I feel like for my first, um, puppy on my own, I wanted to adopt and I really wanted a retriever. Um, cause it's what I'm comfortable with. It's all I've ever had. And, um, anyways, the, the, the reason I'm saying this is it happened pretty quickly when I found him, I had to jump on it because that's how it is now with buying a golden,

like they're impossible. They're so impossible to find. There's so much competition for pups right now so he kind of was a little early 2021 surprise hi he's just staring right in my soul um and you know I figured it happened this year but I didn't think it would happen this this soon and uh I wouldn't have it any other way I'm so happy we're gonna get him checked out tomorrow and he'll be he'll be okay um but it'll be wild to report about what he does tonight I'm praying for a steady sleep maybe a couple wake-ups um I gotta get the bed prepped though I was thinking about maybe keeping him in the like I don't know I can't just let him sleep alone or be alone um I really wish I had my crate I really wish it came today because I want to get

him used to that um like I want to even do feeding in the crate I think you're supposed to do that anyways like do everything in the crate and then as soon as he gets out of it we go the bathroom outside so he puts those puzzle pieces together that when he's let out of the crate it's bathroom time and then I know that when I go pee with him outside we're not rewarding with treats we're just saying good boy we're just rewarding we're just like congratulating him on going the bathroom And we're not giving him a treat because when you do that, they think every time they go squat in grass, they're going to get a treat. And so sometimes they'll start faking it.

They'll go outside just to get a treat. They don't even have to pee. So I learned about that. I've had to do a ton of refreshing about puppy training because, oh, are you being playful? He's biting me. This is a good sign. He's being playful. anyways but I've had to brush up on puppy stuff because yeah I had the last puppy like this I had

I think I was a freshman in high school so it's been a minute oh my brother called me today he was checking in on the pups um he's got a dog you guys know about Odie I've told you guys so much about him but ouch I was telling him how he bites my fingers and he's like doesn't that hurt like a needle and I'm like, no, I kind of like it. Is that, is that fucked up? It's like a slight pain and like, I feel like it's fun. It's like fun for him to bite me. Is that a bad thing to do? He's just testing the water, seeing what he can get away, get away with. Chewy, a little chewy, a little Chewbacca. Yeah. He's, he's licking my toes. He's got a foot fetish. he's biting my fingers um he likes to chase me which is cute like if I go into the kitchen or

if I go into the bathroom he'll like run after me this kind of feels good he's like biting my palms and it feels like a massage keep going yeah go show me how much energy you have right now go do the 50-yard dash to your toys and have a wild play time and just show me how not sick you are yeah he's turning yeah the energy's coming it's what 9 p.m his energy is starting to exude out of his body and it's such a good sign because that was my biggest fear I was like the worst thing with situations like this is if they're having diarrhea and then they're not really active and they look sick and they're just not eating or drinking and you know um so we're gonna just make sure he's staying upbeat looking happy like he is now yeah

we're gonna be up all night you're gonna wake me up at 1 a.m 3 a.m 4 a.m you need to go pick up a toy and not use my finger dude yeah get it oh good shake I have to say good boy yeah he's uh already learning how to I practice this with him this morning if I put my hand up he'll put his he'll put his paw on my hand so he's like learning handshake kind of or he's associating that like if he sees my open hand he puts his paw on it which i think is a good nice thing i don't know golden retrievers aren't the smartest dogs out there but they're the most loving i'd say the most like happy and playful and they're so nice so they're they're fucking smart they're kind of like stupid like i love when my favorite thing

about dogs i can't wait for this when he's bigger is when they get in trouble and like their little crawl they do they like wag their tails and they get really low and then they end up rolling over on their backs so they show their tummy and they submit and they're like I'm sorry and then they like know they did something wrong or they like scoot on their butt with their tail between their legs I can't wait for him to fuck up and like do something like that I just want I can't wait to see what he looks like when he's big guys how much I will not shut up about this puppy for probably six months um another thing wait what was I thinking about with him um Allie is it annoying to hear me like baby talk him um he's like literally biting my hand off what's he gonna say

oh when he gets bigger i can't wait to see what he looks like what was he gonna say um damn it i forget i don't know it'll be fun to just like share all the stories with him with you guys about him yeah this is great guys he's fully alive he's playing he's good um i was a freaked out oh I know what I was gonna say are you even still listening if you're here right now Jesus Christ okay so and it's energy is going up for both of us ouch no not my bracelet not my bracelet I got for Christmas no no there you go good boy um he likes to bite everything obviously okay so today I noticed when he was walking around his tail has that bend in it like if you look at a golden retriever with fluff like a fluffy tail there's like a little bend and so I

noticed that on him today and it's so fucking cute it's it's like it's like the cutest little like bump in his tail um I just I love him so much little Jimmy is mine he's here to stay he's here to live he's here to grow I'll be having him around for the next decade of my decade of my life um it's gonna be great so I just can't you know and a lot of people would say like oh well what if you travel what if you you know what if you do this what if you do that it's not it's hard to have a dog and and you can't really be spontaneous and it's you know gonna keep you stuck and it's no no you figure it out there's a way to live a life as an as an adult with a with shit to do and places to go and have a dog like it's not impossible it's not impossible to raise a puppy

alone I've you know I think this is a good um like a good timing thing for me because like I obviously want kids someday so I feel like this is my first kid or like my first like like alive what am I trying to say my first little body to feed or what am I guys again I'm so tired I can't think of the vocab words this is my first um yeah like kid thing to take care of animal I haven't had my own pet really I had you know growing up tons of animals all the way through high school and then uh actually first part of college too and then it's always been like you know my roommate's dog or my sister's cat or whatever my brother's dog or it's never been mine so this is cool that it's my first um because guys i think the last pet that was mine

that i claimed was maria the goat that got hit by a truck and uh r.i.p she was five months old got hit by a semi right in front of me um I was like in seventh grade like I was that was such a long time ago so this is my first dog on my own can't wait to uh just like learn and grow and I feel like it's already making me I feel like the responsibility meter in my body has gone up so much and um it's here's what I'll say this is like the longest episode I feel like here's what happened I was delirious delirious in the beginning and then now I'm just like in the flow of like delusion and somehow I'm getting energy from this kombucha I think I don't know what's in it but something's happening um but here's what I want to say sorry that was fucking weird

this is such a shit show like I literally podcast seven days a week what the hell am I doing with my life um and I have a job and now I have a puppy like it's I'm living a very full life right now let me just tell you that like I am a busy fucking woman um I realized immediately that I can't be selfish like I my um his needs become before mine and I think that's the best thing that's ever happened to me like that's the I needed this to uh I guess get myself like in like love mode or like help mode with another needing or needy thing like a what is terminology and fucking psychology called I don't know I need to nurture something and take care of something else other than myself um it gets me outside of my I don't know my selfish ways I guess

because when you live alone and everything's it's all about you and what you need and how you feel but when you have a puppy you have to attend to them before anything else and like I got him all going this morning I hadn't even showered I still have my raccoon eyes I was even working with like I got to the point where I felt so disgusting I'm like I have to shower and I'm like even in the shower I was getting out to check on him like it was literally like me naked just walking out of the bathroom to make sure he was okay um but I already went to wife school so I've done that I've lived with someone for a long time so I know what that's all about I know how to like take care of a man make breakfast like do all the housewife shit clean cook like i fucking

know all about that life and like literally living with someone i've done that and now it's like i can take care of a puppy i can raise a kid and um and not co-parent like this is me on my own yeah be the little energizer bunny right now bubba come on perk up i'm so proud of him he's come a long way in two days um why do I like it when he bites my hand this is kind of fucked up with me I like that pain I don't know why it's not pain it's just kind of like it honestly feels good um he I uh gave him my shirt he likes I'm trying to get him used to my scent or like give give him my clothes to like lay around and like smell but um anyways uh I think that's it um shit I'm a I'm a full-grown woman with a puppy right now

and I can't believe it took me this long to kind of take that step and do it I should have done honestly I feel like I could have done this last year um uh maybe not I learned so much about myself in 2020 um yeah okay show's gotta end at some point jocelyn figure it out all right everyone thanks for coming um you can turn your phones back on you can talk to your neighbors now um please leave okay we're gonna pretend this is uh church so we're gonna start with the what row leaves first do you guys okay if you've ever been to i feel like any church has this routine but the way you exit and enter is like so methodical like Like you, like the first row walks down the aisle first out, then the next row walks out

and then the next row and then like, or no, for communion, that's what we do. I think when church is over, everyone leaves at once, just like as, as like a chaotic mob. But whenever you're going up for communion, you like, it's like a very, um, streamlined process. The reason I'm even fucking saying this is in the beginning, I invited you all in, like you're in my apartment here for the show. I was like I got to think of I have to like put my brain in a on a stage right now like I'm on a stage talking to people I need to like energize myself somehow and visualize that but I've been

staring at my palm tree pretending it's a person for the last I don't know hour and honestly it hasn't done much for me clearly um all right yeah just like you know watch yourselves on the way out I'm just trying to pretend you guys are like in the building what would I tell you guys to do thanks for coming um grab a squirt of hand sanitizer on the way out and never come back again all right love you guys hope you had a great Thursday um this is episode 140 of the Jacqueline Monroe show thanks for tuning in and I'll be here tomorrow with more updates so another day another podcast you know we are not stopping anytime soon um I don't even promote this shit which is wild because podcasts it doesn't stop growing so I'm

like how does that work I don't know I really don't understand the iTunes Spotify like any of these algorithms or ways podcasts are discovered like I literally have zero I should know like as a shrewd businesswoman slash podcast host like doing it all I feel like I should know how that works but I'm honestly just trying to get a year under my belt and I'm I just want the I just want to get it over with or not over with but until I like promote and I don't know why I just like have that number in my head like a whole year before I go hard and like try to tell people about the show and like try hard with it I just like doing it like I don't have to hang up now I don't you guys come back in come sit down we can keep talking I mean here's what I'll say about the

show I feel like the gist of what I do here is like I literally pick up the phone with you listening and I talk like I just talk like we're on the phone and it's a one-sided conversation I understand that's probably insane for some of you to understand like I can just do this for an hour or whatever but um it's my mental gym it's how I get everything out it's my little diary I speak it out instead of writing you know it's kind of my new little thing and I like it I like how I feel I think I'm more assured of myself and I feel like I know myself really well at this point it's been like what September October November five months now yeah it's really helped my um confidence and my like my insecurities about what I'm doing like I've

I feel more grounded in who I am which is all from talking to myself like who would have known that actually helps I guess or I don't know there's probably someone out there going oh no it's actually you going insane and you think you're actually improving yourself but you sound like a fucking uh schizophrenic piece of garbage I don't know okay that's horrible to say shout out people that have schizophrenia because honestly they know it's up they see shit we should see but we can't because our fucking third eye isn't open or something and they can see it and they're talking to people that are actually there that we can't see they know what's up that'd be cool honest well I don't know if it would be cool but if you had I wonder maybe I

should interview someone that has schizophrenia. That'd be really cool. Um, and I think it can, there's levels like with everything, um, any kind of, what is it called? Like, um, mental, what's it? Uh, what's the technical term? I don't want to be offensive. Like if you have a um dynamic mental state whatever that umbrella is what is it called whatever the umbrella whatever schizophrenia is um whatever umbrella schizophrenia is under even autism bipolar I mean there's a spectrum with everything where some people have it really really bad and then some people are like high functioning with it and I think um in fact I found someone speaking of that I think I found someone with schizophrenia on she has a tiktok and she kind of talks about it

in a like in a really educational way like she talks through what happens when she has like a psychotic like episode or whatever and if she doesn't take her medication like she explains what happens and it's really it's really cool because um I love that about the internet you can get into people's worlds and uh see what it's like to be other people even the disabled on TikTok it's amazing I mean like you just you can't help but like it's just like fucking how do I explain this you just feel like when you see someone struggling or have a disability you just go wow like I literally can't complain about anything ever again like you just go they're vibrant they're having a they they make the most out of their life they're they've

turned something negative you could say you know missing legs or um being blind like there's a lot of blind tiktokers that talk about it which is amazing um they like there's this girl I follow who shows you how she like knows what colors her makeup um like her eyeshadows are when she puts them on she talks about everything about being blind and um anyways we have it so good like if you have zero if you're literally just like healthy no disabilities no diseases you don't have a digestion problem like my fucking puppy over here this episode is too long I was gonna say you got a maid or like you really have a good you won the lottery in life I've been feeling a lot like that lately like I think I'm on the brink of what it's really like to live your

dreams like I'm I'm I feel like I'm living my dreams but it hasn't I haven't had like the oh wow I'm doing this moment yet and I don't know what that will be I feel like the podcast kind of feels like that because I've done it I've never missed a day I do it seven days a week like that to me is starting to be like whoa but I kind of feel like that's gonna happen like my when I hold my first kid or something or like that'll be like whoa I'm like I did it I'm like I'm married I have a kid it took forever to like get here but I did it and like I feel like that's kind of the ultimate everything else is just fun you know you might take a trip to Europe and like go all over or you you know like buy a new car or a brand new house or um you get on tv for

something or you fucking your pot like my podcast could blow up like all these things are cool but I feel like the ultimate is when you're like with child and you're staring at your offspring and you're in love and who doesn't want that right all right good job drink your water good job he's fully alive guys all right love you guys this is like I don't know this is two hour podcast um I feel like it's because I've been fasting all day I have like zero appetite because I've I didn't get any sleep and I think that helps you have energy sustained energy all day somehow right I don't know all right love you guys uh episode 140 that's it talk to you tomorrow for Friday's episode. All right. Bye.