The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 142- Saturdaycast: Q&A #16

Episode Date: January 24, 2021

Happy Saturday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

hey guys happy saturday it's episode 142 this is q a number 16 welcome back to the show Hey guys, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Happy Saturday. Happy weekend. Let's do a Q&A. If you're new to the show, I'm here seven days a week. Go ahead and hit that subscribe button. And if you were just like, why do you podcast seven days a week? This is my audio diary. This is my mental gym. I come here every day to talk about my life, talk about what's up, my goals, my ideas, my rants. I got a puppy who is making noises. If you hear a little motorboat in the background, he sounds like a motorboat cause he's got a little cough. So just like, no, that's Jimmy, my new golden retriever puppy. It's kind of, it's cute, but also sad. I hope

he's okay. I feel like puppies are, their bodies are trying to like figure, they're trying to like figure their shit out every day and grow. And, um, yeah, so Jimmy's in the background with a little cough if you hear him, but let's do the Q and a, I want to jump right into it. You guys asked me a ton of questions on Instagram. Um, let's just, honestly, I could sit here and tell you guys all about how excited I am to watch the fight tonight. We got McGregor fighting. I don't know who's fighting, but I know he's fighting. Connor McGregor is fighting tonight. I have no clue who he's fighting. What am I trying to say? But I'm excited to watch that. Uh, it's the weekend. What are you doing? How's it going? Happy Saturday. Okay. Let's just do it. Uh, shit. So,

um, first question. Sorry. I'm not even queued up here. I do this every Saturday. So let me just, okay, here we are. First question. This might end up being another podcast all about Jimmy, my new pup, because everyone wants to, everyone asks me questions about him. basically I've done three episodes in a row all about adopting him how he's been doing since he's been home he got sick I had to take him to the vet so go listen to the last three episodes I'm gonna try to like answer I'm gonna try to answer questions that are not about him um as much as possible like I'll I'm gonna try to ah okay Jacqueline I'm gonna try to balance this out so it's not an entire podcast about my dog again. Okay. First question though, about Jimmy,

how's the little guy doing so far? He is, I can't say he's a hundred percent. We had a little, uh, issue. I had to take him to the vet yesterday, got some medication on board. Now he's got, um, some sort of like indigestion, tummy problem. And, you know, I told you guys the first couple nights. He shit the bed all night. I didn't get any sleep for two days. Uh, I can tell he's improving, but he's not a hundred percent. I think it's going to take, the vet said it's going to take about a week for him to get kind of normal again. So, um, he's honestly like, other than that, other than that side of things, he, he seems okay. Like it's not like he's sick and he can't move and he's you know drooling and like barfing everywhere um he has his he has his little puppy

moments where he perks up and he wants to play and then he gets really tired so uh anyways but so far so good uh next question all right um this is like so specific you had you had to listen to I don't know like last week's episode to know what this is about sorry but I'm just going through the here. Did you install your water filter on top through the faucet or under the sink in the water on the water supply? A great question. So as you know, if you're a daily listener, which is insane when people DM me, they're like, haven't missed an episode. I listen to you every single day. I'm just like, Jesus Christ. All right. So, uh, for the people to know what this is about, I installed my, I installed the water filter. I got some shit on, uh, one of my posts about

using a plastic bottle and I know, I know. And like, I, I know I need a water filter. I just didn't want to have a stupid blue jug in my kitchen. Like I didn't want an ugly water filter and I was just like, Oh, like this is, I know that's a dumb reason just to continue using plastic bottles. But anyways, I finally got one on Amazon. It's this really sleek, it looks like an espresso machine, like a coffee machine. So you can't even, you would look at it and not think it's a water filter. But basically, I got on Amazon, it was like this Korean brand called Cuckoo. And to answer your question, I installed it on the water supply under my sink. There wasn't a hole I'd have to drill a hole on my um like on the top of my sink you know to to feed the

pipes through the water what are they called tubes but it worked out where I could do it just under my sink I fed it under my um what's it called under my counters my dude buddy was that a hack is he barfing no I feel like I have to burp him like a baby today because he's kind of coughing a lot um but anyways yeah the water filter was installed on my water supply I tightened that down as best as possible as you know if you listen to the episode where I talked about my water filter I had caused a flood I caused a flood at an apartment complex I was living at at one point that cost multiple thousands of thousands of dollars in water damage to the apartment below me so because I installed a similar system and the level of paranoia I had

this time when I was tightening down the fucking pipes and the screws or whatever they're called like I I would like check like I installed it and then I went back after like an hour the next morning I was filling the water like underneath to make sure no water leaked but it's been going fine so far so what was the question yeah I installed the water uh I installed the water what was the question on the water supply okay by the way this water filter lights up it makes drinking water really exciting there's like disco lights and shit it's so cool um I'm gonna answer that one later so it was tell a good breakup story I don't really feel like doing that at the beginning of this um okay here's a jimmy question what's your what's your favorite

thing about jimmy honestly the cuddles are you can't beat it you can't beat puppy cuddles and it's really it's really cool how he just wants to be next to me he wants to be as close to me as possible they dogs are really your best friend at the end of the day like they are they just unconditionally love you and they want to be with you and it's pretty um I don't know if I was really prepared for that like the last time I've had a puppy or last time I had a puppy I had to share him with four other people like my whole family had a dog you know but when it's just me and him it's kind of special how he's just I don't know he's like my little my little bestie and I love his cuddles I love the way he smells um I like how when he's perky and not acting sick he bounces

around like a little bunny rabbit and it's like the cutest thing like he's bouncy and I can tell when he's a big like the big version of himself he's gonna be like you know how dogs yeah they like bounce they like put their like their two front legs down and like jump up and it's so cute so obviously I feel like cuddles are my favorite thing um next question when you tell a guy you're dating that you're fine okay when you tell a guy you're dating that you're fine are you really fine okay does anyone know what this is about I feel like you either know what this is or you don't there's a whole thing I guess this might be a meme somewhere too how when girls say they're fine that they're not fine like they just say oh I'm fine I'm fine I'm

fine I'm not fucking fine okay I'm usually not fine if I say I'm fine I'm not fine okay is that not obvious like uh I feel like the yeah because even if I had to like even if they were like so let's say I'm dating someone and I'm like secluded I've like isolated myself and I'm pissed off and I'm like in the bedroom or whatever and I get a knock on the door like hey you know um like are you okay and I'll be like I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I feel like so if I was really fine I okay how do I describe what I'm truly feeling in this moment it depends what happened but honestly I usually just need to have me time and space for a bit when I'm not fine and I say I'm fine does this make any sense probably not this is like why guys don't understand girls this is

I'm sorry but I fit in that box of when I say I'm fine I am not fine but if I have to like explain myself that I really am and they don't believe me, like that's when I'm actually fine. If I'm trying to convince you, if I'm going out of my way to convince you that I'm okay, that actually means I'm okay. But if I just sit and say I'm fine, I'm not fine. Okay, that was confusing, but I hope you understand that I'm not fine when I'm fine. I'm not fine when I say I'm fine. Why do round pizzas come in square boxes? Next question. Um, Oh my God. Fucking geometry. Um, honestly think about this person who asked the question, like what machine makes, I guess there are round boxes produced somewhere,

but it's just easier to cut straight lines and circles probably um I don't know and there's like space on the side if you have to put for them to put the little packets of uh parmesan red pepper flakes you know there's like space on the side for that um pizzas are not always consistent in size when you bake them so the square box provides room for those discrepancies and pizzas that might end up being a little smaller a little bigger will always fit in the square box however if it was if it was a round box um I don't know maybe they'd have to make it bigger any I don't fucking know honestly just fuck with your local pizzeria and ask them to cut it in a spiral next question um that was a tweet okay that's so fucking dumb let me just um

so I used to tweet jackass tweets all the time like that and I just recalled that I tweeted fuck with your local pizzeria and asked them to cut it in a spiral and that came up when I was thinking about this question and I don't know how my delivery went there but fuck with your local pizzeria and ask ask them to cut it in a spiral I thought that was funny when I was like I don't know 19 all right um how's your 2021 so far is this Q&A dry let me drink some coffee I just like I don't know guys I'm really so I think the sleeping has progressively gotten better like honestly like the first two nights were terrible and then last night was a little bit better but this I still feel like a new mom with an infant

like I'm constantly just not awake and I'm ready to nap at all times like I'm pushing through my tiredness and it's it's kind of exhilarating honestly and I say that because it's kind of exhilarating to see what my brain can produce in this state of tiredness and I'm I feel like hey I'm still podcasting I'm still forming a sentence showing up every day um Jesus Christ but how's my 2021 so far amazing um I guess yeah like no complaints things are going really well the puppy kind of came out of nowhere I think I told that story how it happened really quickly I knew I wanted a dog this year but I didn't expect to get Jimmy this quickly so um it's been such a great start with my job with the podcast with um coming out of 2020 at my family's house

for a month like that was a really great reset um and so far I feel like everything's firing on firing on all cylinders I talk a lot about my momentum and how I'm trying to ride this wave all year and keep myself going and um yeah so so far so good it's honestly a boring question don't ever ask it again. How did your parents meet? Um, they met in college. The story goes like this. Uh, my mom was sitting in the front row. They're both in, uh, TV, productive broadcasting news. Like that was the class I think they're in. Um, my mom was a news reporter. My dad was always like a producer, editor, writer, that kind of stuff. So they were in the same class. Well, it turns out my mom was in the front row and I guess there were no seats left except for the

one next to her. And my dad came in late for class or something. And he came and he walked in and sat next to her. And then they like, you know, he like looked at her and was like, oh my god love my life like I don't know if it was love at first sight but he saw her it was like wow and that's how they met and I guess he walked in in a suit and tie and a briefcase he looked like a businessman and my mom was like really into he she was like holy who's this guy you know all put together for fucking college class like I don't understand like I don't know why I think he had a job maybe and was going to work after school or something I don't know but that's how they met and um yeah good question um what is the worst thing that a person can put on their bio on

a dating app oh I just don't like honestly I've talked about dating apps a lot I like less is more bare minimum I don't need a lot of emojis please don't use emojis don't use um I just don't like corny stuff, but it's honestly, how would I just, let me just go to my dating apps to tell you what I don't like. I don't like people that say, um, looking for an adventure buddy or, uh, like, fucking, um, here's something right here. Okay. Yeah. Pizza, pasta, tacos, or sushi? Question mark. Hashtag sophisticated dolphin. I don't know what that means. Oh no, this one, 100% do not write this fluent in sarcasm. Do not write that. Uh, taking little spoon applications, corny, stupid, don't write it. See, this is a perfect one to describe, uh, to describe what

not to do. So we have taking little spoon applications, fluent in sarcasm, pizza, pasta, tacos, or sushi. I don't give a fuck. Um, trying to be someone's hashtag MCM. This guy has zero personality like this sucks oh wait let me see his pictures Jonah I'm swiping left all right we got next up let's see um this is all right ordered ordered groceries from Costco and forgot I only cook for one so here's what I want to say about your bio I like mystery I like a mystery man I like less is more I like to figure it out as I go with you I don't want to know everything up front and I hate lists I hate um when people I'm being I'm being specific in my wants and needs right now by telling you what I like on a guy's dating app profile but I don't like when

guys are they like list what type of girl they're looking for and it's like really specific like I've seen everything from must have a um zest for life and and and live a fit and active healthy lifestyle like some guys want a vegan girl or they'll put like um I've even seen like you know please like like height and weight I've seen like uh fucking not into curves like I want a skinny chin like I've seen it all and so whenever whenever a guy puts like a preference like a specific um thing about or a specific description about the type of girl he wants I'm just out I mean obviously that's just kind of stupid I mean keep it to yourself just don't like just don't write it but let's do a couple more swiping left on that dude

Costco dude um I could do I could do an entire uh entire podcast on dating app bios oh god 30 New Yorker it's hard for me to engage in text conversations I don't prefer to use tinder but we're basically all on house arrest so I'm looking for an excuse to grab a drink building a company is challenging move to San Diego in 2015 travel the country move back okay I set it for life so 17 year commitment no less this guy's acting 50 and he's 30 so I just don't talk to me about how you don't like texting you'd rather call don't tell me about you why you don't mention the dating app don't talk about I don't get I don't care this is what I like let me just cut to the chase because I have more questions questions to answer do you

guys can you can you kind of tell by the sound of my voice how fucking tired I tired I am I don't know what's happening to my body but it's it's I honestly feel like I'm malfunctioning and this dog is it's worth it it's fucking worth it I'll deteriorate I'll deteriorate deteriorate fuck I'll deteriorate while he grows and thrives so it's gonna be fascinating to watch my health and his like go the opposite direction but anyways I like okay it's gonna say your name your age the distance you are away from me your school the school you went to I like it I literally I literally like like this would be hot hi my name is Xavier this is my Instagram handle like just write like two words and then your instagram that's it less is more be a mystery man nobody

cares about your fucking hobbies and how you're looking for an adventure buddy and we're gonna go shopping at costco together and i'm looking for a girl who puts her card away and like all that corny shit is like influence and sarcasm do not just like one guy wrote i was like rolling my eyes the other day he says something about his dog and then something whatever and he's like I'm funny sometimes you don't get to say that you don't get to you don't get to say that about yourself you don't decide that you're funny sometimes and write that in your bio like that's not how you just no same with flute and sarcasm shut the fuck up all right I want to do another one so this guy number he's 30 acting 50 talking about he's looking for an excuse to grab

a drink we'll just fucking if it takes it you're on tinder just for this is your excuse to grab a drink like i don't know okay maybe i want to do one one more hi i'm damien i'm damien i'm six four handsome and pretty chill already writing too much i don't give a fuck excited about the six four don't care about anything else you're writing i live on i don't want to say and enjoy the water every day i can the ocean is my one true love i enjoy fishing in every body of water possible surfing eating red meat pretty much all things all things america i do like that i try to make people laugh and enjoy life i mean that's like lukewarm like nice like this is he's definitely a nice dude. He's definitely a nice guy. You can tell. Looks like a genuine dude. Um, but I like

that intro. Hi, I'm Damien. I'm six, four. And it should have stopped there. And then here's my Instagram. Be a mystery man. Oh, we got a first pick is a puppy here. Dog dad. Honestly, I'm looking for a friend for my dog more than myself. Okay. That was kind of cool. All right. Next question sorry I'm off topic or whatever I I'm avoiding the tell a good breakup story um question so to that was the question I just answered was what is the worst thing that a person could put on their bio on a dating app so anyways what's the secret no one knows about you um shit I mean I do this seven days a week I tell you guys everything but what I what do you guys not know? Or what's something I keep to myself? I mean, I have like fun facts about my body.

Like I know them, but no one else does that type of shit. For example, my wingspan is, I'm four inches long. Wait, my wingspan is four or six inches longer than my height or some shit. Um, so I have really long arms compared to my height. Uh, it doesn't, I don't feel like it looks weird. I think I, I like that I have long arms. I feel like it's a very cool, like I like it. I like it. Um, but that's a fun fact, a secret, I guess. No one knows. I think I've told the hole in my eye story. Um, hold on. I know I actually, I don't think I've actually told the story of how I have a hole in my eye. So I have a hole in my eye. This is another body fun fact. I, when I was born, I had an eyelash or longer than an eyelash. It was like a full long,

like a long hair coming, growing out of my eye and the inner corner. And it was not like an, it wasn't on my eyelash. It's like, you know where the tear duct is? So I have a hole right there. You can like see it if you look close. And when I was born, they like plucked it out and it left a little like pore, a little hole there, a hole. And I don't like, I don't ever notice it. In fact, let me grab a mirror next to me and like, look. Yeah. You would never notice it unless you like tried to look for it. But, um, Jesus Christ, I look so rough. I look like a new mom. That's like, I've had, I've the new mom glow and it's not cute. So, um, yeah, I have a hole in the corner of my eye cause I had an eyelash there. They plucked it out. Did my mom keep it? I feel

like it'd be in my baby book, taped in a page of my baby book, but probably not. So yeah, I have a hole in my eye. Um, another secret. Um, I don't think it's any secret honestly. And I don't know if anyone else relates to this or um like this is something I keep to myself uh I don't go around telling people this but I hate I hate fake people I hate fake bitches I hate fake airy conversations of fake stupidness and like high pitch like hi oh my god like hate it hate it I'm not down for fake bitches so that's it I don't know that sounds kind of um mean or like what do I mean by that I I'm just like always in a state of it might fuck okay I don't want to be a bro girl a bro girl a

chill girl who's just like always my disposition is just like relaxed like always calm and chill like I don't I think it's good to have a little bit of a spark in you when you're meeting people and talking to people and you're a little more upbeat and like you know but what I can't stand is the fake intro that people do together like when you first meet I'm just gonna say like a group of girls for me for example it's like I can't even describe what happens but every octave the octaves go like 10 floors up like it's just so high pitched there's so many compliments happening there's like um and I and I know this like usually when someone compliments you immediately they whatever the compliment is they don't like they're just saying that to

fuck with you and like there's that so I can I have a radar now for that we're in college like I would think girls liked me and they were like you know but it was this it was this weird catty or this weird fake like uh sizing up thing that was happening and I was just like a puppy dog like I'll be your friend like and then I was you know totally fucking burned and um you know so I don't like that kind of stuff I like I just like down home fucking normal people that are I guess yeah you're just relaxed you're like hi nice to meet you cool what's up that's great okay I'm tired so here's what here's what I'm envisioning right now if I had I'll include guys too because guys do this too like there's this energy that's so fucking fake sometimes that I

just don't I don't do it I don't do it I don't do it for example if I had six people walking through my door right now like that I feel like that's why I'm mentioning this because that is my worst nightmare in this state in this state I'm in this new mom glow this new mom state of I'm exhausted I don't want to have to put on that I don't have to dance with that energy and that fakeness so um so yeah not a secret now it's not a secret but like okay if I witness that let's say I'm at a party or I'm out at a bar or whatever and I witness that I'm judging I'm judging I'm sitting there going wow this is sad these people are fucking fake and they don't even realize how dumb they look and how stupid they come across it's just like it's so ditzy and

dumb I just fucking I honestly this sounds so mean it sounds so mean but I guess it's like different strokes for different folks or you know there's plenty of fish in the sea like some people you click with some people you don't I just don't click with that I just don't sorry not sorry okay um another secret about me I don't know if this is like maybe this is obvious but I'm like a complete hopeless romantic like I believe at love at first sight like I am such a mush ball about like falling in love and like you know like that is I am that whatever like any Disney movie any like romantic um like ever after that is one of my favorite like love story movies um Pride and Prejudice like all these like that is me I'm that I'm a hopeless romantic mush ball like I'm just

looking for like my prince charming um yeah so now you know uh but I am jaded because I've been burned and I've had uh terrible uh dating experiences that I'm avoiding talking about because that was one of the questions um next question okay I'm already like okay speaking about speaking why did I go on for so long about my secret of not liking fake people and now I'm judging myself for saying any of that do you guys understand what I mean I hope that came across like oh you just like people that are like normal and calm and like secure with themselves or they don't have to like put on this fake act when they interact with you because they're just solid in who they are like those are my favorite people you're anyways so I hope you

okay um I just never I always want you guys to know that or I always want to reiterate that I have good intentions I love people in fact I pray for those people that I sit in a corner and judge like that because I just want them to get to the other side where they're like I don't I guess what it is for me is I have witnessed I'm an observer I'm a middle child I look around things going on around me and I'm like I'm always analyzing assessing observing you could say I'm a judge I'm judgmental but it's not it's not like I'm okay fuck it I am I am I am and it's probably healthy because I okay what am I trying to say I like want I want other people to have some sort of like epiphany with themselves about their um like a lot of people I witness like that

are wound tight they're insecure they're like really they're not they're they have they fake their confidence everything about them is fake confidence it's like not an actual confidence it's all a facade and so when they're around people it turns into this like elevated version of who they really are and it's a big puff chest puffing match with everyone around them and it's it's dumb and I don't think some people even realize what they're doing and it's like a it's a self-protection um thing it's a uh survival mechanism they do and I think once you have that I guess epiphany or you get to the other side and you realize that about yourself I think it's a I feel that used to be me and I didn't even mention that I can relate to that because I

used to be like that but now I feel a sense of like freedom and like acceptance and love of exactly who I am and I don't have to do any of that dancing and fakeness anymore because I don't it doesn't I just show up like this okay all right fucking a um what would you tell your younger self? Next question. Oh my God. I feel like, have I answered this before? Oh, I just chugged my coffee. Could you hear that? What would I tell my younger self? Nobody cares. Literally nobody cares. The reason, what I just described, people act all fake and ditzy and just like that because they're insecure about what other people think of them they're you know and I think I used to be like that where I would be so scared of like or not yeah I guess

it's all fear I would I was insecure and I thought people were like sitting and putting me under a microscope and thinking about how I look and how I talk and what I'm doing and who I'm friends with and how I dress and what my car looks like what my house looks like and like what I everything you know I thought people were sitting and judging me like that when I was in like I don't know middle school high school and then uh even college a little bit and then so I guess I tell myself nobody cares everyone's thinking about themselves and yeah you're the main character this is your movie everyone's a supporting actor actress and uh just that's what I think is my favorite thing about my life now is I am my interactions with strangers and new people are so much more fun now

because I think of everyone as a potential like I literally go into every interaction like you are going to be my new best friend like I think of things now as or even in public like I look around like these are all my best friends we've known each other for years and so then whenever I talk to them I come in with this energy that's like calming and I'm I can I'm listening to them and I want to hear what they have to say versus being skittish so I think my younger self was skittish This is all about fucking social. Is this a social skills fucking episode now? I don't know. It's a Q and a it's Saturday. I'm just trying to work this out when I'm tired. I get kind of loopy in my, uh, with my train of thoughts and words. And I'm, I'm literally just pushing it

all out of my brain is like as best I can. Okay. I'm a new mom. I'm a new mom. Chill. I'm just, or excuse me chill no fuck uh please understand so yeah my younger self I tell her to relax and nobody cares and uh also like life is what you make it I don't know I just like that phrase life is what you make it the stories you tell yourself about your life and things happening around you. It's all, it's either, I think in our brains, we either associate things with good or bad. Like our brains decipher every situation as good or bad. And so the more, I feel like the more you, so life is what you make it. So the more you make life good and all such bad situations that you would that you used to consider bad as good and you find

the light in it you find the the positive lesson in it you see everything with a through an optimistic positive lens versus the negative lens I think life becomes sweeter like Jimmy shits the bed all night right I could crumble I could cry I could be upset and frustrated like oh my god this is like i wasn't prepared for this this is horrible i have so much shit to clean up i oh you know i could make it a bad thing and negative in my brain but instead i i'm just like cheering i'm cheering him on i'm like you're alive buddy your bowels work like you're fucking doing it you're growing you're a new man in this world like and i and i tell myself like this is good for me. I'm going to have a kid someday. This is like, this is like child, like I'm going

to school right now. This is like mom's school with my puppy. Like, uh, it's only going to get better, right? If this is the worst that's going to happen, like it's only going up from here. Um, I don't know. It's about having like, life is what you make it is what I tell my younger self. Try to, try to have fun with anything that comes your way. And I think the entire year the entire so 2020 was a shit show obviously uh speaking of my dog shitting the bed 2020 was a shit show so it kind of got to the point with me where everything was ridiculous and i couldn't take anything i was watching on the news seriously i couldn't not ever it was just it was like watching a a movie like a fucking like adam sandler movie i don't know fucking like a funny

movie like the entire world was ridiculous it still kind of is and so I think there's a lot of people right now like just a bunch of curmudgeons just fucking like scrooges about it they're negative they're pissed like I was talking to my neighbor and she just went in on can't believe this is happening I'm just like so there's those people and I feel like what I chose to do last year and my new thing or I guess currently is make it life is what you make it back to that I'm just like laughing at I'm laughing at it I think it's ridiculous I can't take it seriously it's it's fucking crazy that like just honestly you know what did it you know what did it for me the guy with the fucking horns the capital and just that whole scene

it looked fake like i i couldn't it was too ridiculous like i can't even get mad at it or be like i don't know how to feel about it it just it seemed fake like it seemed like a movie i was watching on tv these people jumping over the the jumping on the capitol raiding it like it just i don't know same goes for honest to god this sounds fucked up but just seeing those like freezer trucks at the beginning of the pandemic it was like is this real life like is this what uh that's fucked up to say and kind of dark but it just seemed ridiculous like i don't know um that was the scary time though when we were seeing you know the body bags coming out of the hospitals and all the um what else was ridiculous just oh fuck I mean George Floyd

like that was some serious shit to see um fucking but what was like I don't know there's some heavy shit last year and there's some ridiculous shit I guess a ridiculous shit is anything related to shutdowns um the news like what they're telling us just like I don't know um yeah so sorry what's the next question I'm honestly like this is one of the self-acceptance practices I'm or this is a this entire episode is a self-acceptance practice of releasing my the judgment I have about this episode um let me talk myself through this right now this is called hi this is my counseling session my therapy session alone I maybe this is a secret no one knows about me to go back to that question I sometimes feel fucking stupid and like I can't talk and I feel like this episode is that

and I don't know you probably think differently I know everything you usually think things are worse than they really are no one's actually thinking about that but you are well I'm letting you know right now a little secret is I'm sitting here going delete it don't upload this you're a new mom you sound like a train wreck like this this isn't good um and i also said some things i'm just kind of like annoyed about like who the fuck wants to be friends with me when i they just heard me say i'm sitting in the corner judging you if you have if you if your voice is high and you act fake in public um like what and here's i i love those people i said i want them to maybe that is how they are I don't fucking know I'm just saying like I just want

people to be at home with their soul and who they are and not be skittish I guess okay but uh next question um oh you know what fuck it let's just answer the let me do it right now what was it tell, tell a good breakup story. If my ex is listening to this, he probably doesn't know what I know, but, um, how will I tell this? So I feel like none of my breakups have been messy or dramatic or crazy, or like there's kicking and screaming and fighting. Like I've, I don't have that kind of um I guess baggage or history with breakups like I've had pretty mutual like um you know things aren't working out and then we both are kind of like all right time to break up this isn't going where we want it to go so I've I think I've had pretty healthy

breakups like that. However, one of them, I was young. Uh, I don't want to like, I'm, I'm treading lightly here. I'm trying to be vague. Cause I really don't want anyone to like, try to figure out who this was. Basically. I, this is like, I can't believe like, this is crazy to say now. Cause if this happened, And if this happened now, like, I'd be out immediately, right? But kind of, like, three-quarters of the way through the relationship, I saw something I didn't want to see on their phone. And I, like, it was the first time that ever happened to me. So I was, like, you know, your stomach kind of drops.

so you're like okay I think they're cheating on me or they're fucking around like what's happening and I didn't I didn't know because it was like the first time it happened to me so I and I and I found something like that um I think also like he was really private about having like he never like I couldn't go on his phone right and so I feel like what you know it was one of those situations where maybe he gave it to me for something and then i was sitting there with it and then i just like tapped us tapped an app messaging app and i was like okay okay poking around and then fuck there i found it i mean everyone probably can relate to this like you're i don't know are you guys team don't look through your partner's phone like at all like do

not that's off limits it's their private world that you don't have access to or are you team floodgates are open full access everyone you can see everything they can see everything like what's your like what do you honestly I'm in the middle I think like there's a lot of stuff on my phone like I it's like my diary like a lot of the shit I keep is like really private and I feel like you should I don't know I like the idea of having someone go like I have nothing to hide it's not that I it's more like shit I'd be embarrassed about if especially at first in a relationship like after a while I don't think I'd care um if they saw my phone like I'm not shady in my dms or like you guys I've told so many stories like if I'm dating you just know like

I'm probably planning on marrying you it's like and my brain is already thinking that or it's not like okay that's so fucking dramatic it's not like I'm not dating you to like I don't go in being like this will be temporary this will be you know three months and then this is you know can't say i've never done that before can't say i haven't been like you know this is kind of a i get i know where this is going this is going to be a short-lived relationship but if i really like you like you're it i don't give a fuck about anyone else i'm not shady i'm not dming like other guys i'm not looking i'm not even thinking about it i'm obsessed with you you're my purse like i just I'm that I'm that way so um but what was I telling a breakup story oh so yeah I saw something I

didn't want to see in his phone like almost to the end of the end of the relationship and then I like didn't know what to do kind of so I just like acted like I didn't see it like I was telling myself like oh that like I I was just trying to like block it out like I oh like no no that can't be it can't be like I that you know like I didn't see it I was trying to tell myself I didn't see it and it was something like along the lines of um it was a conversation with another girl and it was like about like getting together or something so this is so preschool like I'm sure like like literally someone asked me to tell a breakup story and you wanted to hear like yeah like I crashed my car into his garage. I was so pissed off. And then I went through his house with a

bunch of fucking glitter and paint and I destroyed his property and I fucking smashed his windows in and like, I don't have a story like that. I'm sorry. I just don't. So this is so preschool and like G rated. I saw him talking to another girl on his phone and then I acted like I didn't see it and then I was acting weird that day remember and I like fucking put his phone like I just like grabbed his phone and like I think I just like set it on the ground or some shit I was just so like I was being weird because I found it I didn't know what to feel um and then he ended up breaking up with me and then that was it and I've never seen him again so yeah um dude that's a Q&A, that sucked, as far as, like, I wish I had something crazier to tell you guys, um,

fucking, okay, so, Saturday, what am I gonna do today, can you guys see, I'm a train wreck, hey, this is gonna be me as a mom someday, just, like, I'll, I'll say this, I guess this is this is another secret secret um I'm like looking at him keep breathing buddy he's just passed out um it's so cute I don't okay this is me being really straight up and real about the puppy I don't think I knew what I was getting into honestly because I've had like I said he's my fourth golden retriever uh my family we had three over my life we had three and I guess what I mean by that is I didn't understand how much like attention and work it is like I

I'm alone it's not like I have someone to do this with I like I told you guys my my family like we were we all had a system with raising the dogs so there's a ton of support and help and I guess I honestly didn't realize how much like effort and like how much mind space he's he's gonna take up and I'm constantly like especially now because he's not 100 healthy like I'm constantly trying to make sure he's okay and like he I'm taking care of him before myself it's this whole new thing so um I'm so ready for it I'm really like honestly it's worth it um but I don't think I knew I think I was too excited to get him I was just like I've been dreaming about getting a puppy because I told you guys after so back in like September when I started the show I said I want

to get a cat because it's low maintenance you know it's you know low maintenance I'm lazy I was just being like I didn't I didn't want to get a dog because I was like well if I ever leave or traveled you know I was making up excuses even though dogs are better and I'm like I think I'm so much happier I want the dog obviously but after being being home for a month and being with my brother's girlfriend's dog Odie I was like I need this I want a dog right so for an entire month I was like obsessed over like I went crazy trying to find a puppy like I have all of January so far has been I'm on a hunt I'm like I need a dog now like I couldn't stop thinking about it it was 24 7 in my brain I was like I was like I need this dog now like I don't want to have to wait and

every night like I'd find myself on my phone before bed looking at all the like websites and apps and everything to find a puppy and and I would tell myself like okay this can this can wait like you can chill this chill out this could happen you know like you have all year to find a puppy so I would try to like tell myself that and then I'd end up dreaming about him all night and then it was just like fuck so I finally found him and it happened kind of quickly but um I don't know it's like my whole world like my life has changed I now can't like I can't even I need to figure out a balance of like running errands and like having him with me and like taking care of myself before I, like, and taking care of him in a healthy way, so, um, anyways, guys, I'm gonna

end the episode, I'm, I'm, I'm probably due for a nap right now, um, thanks for tuning in, thanks for hanging out, I'll be here tomorrow, uh, I committed to this for a fucking year, so we're here, we're doing it, we're not missing a day, uh, maybe you'll see me on the Today Show, I don't know girl in California podcasts 365 days in a row about her life and and she fixed her depression and her mental health problems and this is a new thing that she recommends people do and Jacqueline tell us all about it well hi um Hoda hi Hoda um thanks for having me it's been great you know I was depressed in 2020 and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I just started talking to myself in the shower and then I realized I should share these conversations

with the world so then I bought a microphone on Amazon it was $30 and uh yeah I started September 4th and I haven't stopped since and I'm happier more fulfilled I like myself more my mental health is soaring um in fact yeah can't recommend this enough I'm fucking delusional like it's okay episode 142 I haven't done I have I haven't missed a day in 142 days we're having one of those fucking episodes just know that um you're getting all sides you're getting all flavors uh this is a this is a journey I'm on a fucking marathon right I'm running a marathon right now and this has been one of the hardest days uh because of my puppy and how tired I am

and you know so uh welcome to my life thanks for tuning in and hit that subscribe button if you're new or if you haven't already leave me a review on the podcast app uh yeah helps me out helps people find out about the show so go leave a review uh patreon.com slash tjms to get more content from me that's where I post exclusive photos videos bonus content I do phone calls shout outs all over on my patreon so that's patreon.com slash tjms and then follow me on instagram and yeah hopefully mcgregor wins tonight i hope you guys are uh i i feel like everyone's watching this but i'm excited that'll be a great ending to my saturday just watching a fight and uh sit with my pup so all right guys have a good great have a great day have a great

wait what do you do when you do good and great at the same time good have a good day fuck okay happy saturday saturday thanks for tuning in this has been episode 142 of the jacqueline monroe show goodbye bye fuck bye