The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 148- Psychology Facts and Chill

Episode Date: January 30, 2021

Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up, guys? Happy Friday. It's episode 148. Welcome back to the show. all right what's up it's Jacqueline hi welcome back to the show happy Friday It's Friday. You made it. I always ask that question. Do you guys still look forward to the weekend? Is Friday exciting to you? I don't know. It's not for me personally. It's just another day, but happy Friday. Thanks for joining me today. If you're new, hit that subscribe button. This is my audio diary. I say that every show. This is my time that I sit down with myself once a day to talk it out, talk about shit that I'm interested in learning about, things I want to work on, current events. Yeah. So let's get into it. Honesty. Honesty right now. Let's be honest

and admit that we're just going to go to a Google Doc I wrote on, I don't know, six months ago and read from it. Because I mentioned to you guys, I want to start writing more and get back into that swing of things. Because I used to write like 24-7 for the show, especially. I'd think of something during the day, I'd have a note on my phone about it to talk about, um, or I'd have a note to talk on. Okay. Hi. I would refer to my notes each show because I was constantly writing, right? So I haven't done that forever and I feel like it's drying out. I need to get my shit together. So I'm going to refresh my brain and read stuff I used to, um, read stuff I used to write about. Okay. So also this is going to be a kind of a quick one, to be honest. Um, let me just give

you a little synopsis of Friday, uh, Friday work day, you know, typical stuff on the job front. Jimmy is doing, he's doing great. He actually met, I have to tell this quick story. Jimmy's my new eight week old golden retriever. I keep again, he's what nine weeks now. He's still eight weeks in my brain like he's gonna be eight weeks until he's four months old I don't know um because I got him at eight weeks so that makes no sense anyways quick update on Jimmy um he's chewing his rope right now I'm proud of him um anyways because he's occupying himself I'm proud of him because he's not being a jackass biting my feet while I'm recording um he met his ancestors he met his elders he met a soul, okay, what am I saying, let me explain real quick, I was taking him out to do

his nightly shit before we go to bed, and his pee shit, whatever, potty training, right, gotta take him out every two hours, it's crazy, so we're out there, and all of a sudden, this was last night, all of a sudden, this old man with this huge dog is coming around the corner, and this dog was the most majestic beautiful mysterious wild looking animal I've ever seen it was the most it was the perfect dog for because Jimmy's been out on his own with me we haven't really seen any other dogs people walk by but we haven't been around dogs on purpose he's not supposed to go to the dog parks yet he's too young and there's a deadly lepto virus going around in the community so it's kind of dangerous out there. So anyways, uh, the first dog he encountered with me was this,

I think the guy said he's an Akita. He's an Akita and he's old. Like he's 12 years old. Like it's this really old dog. And I guess it's a, it's a Japanese breed. I looked it up and he looked nothing like an Akita on Google images. But anyways, the interaction was so cool. It was like this giant dog approached Jimmy and they got nose to nose. And Jimmy was just like in, in shock, like oh my god and it was like this moment this like old soul and this young soul came together and it was so cool because I haven't he hasn't seen any other dogs like that yet and I don't know I just thought it was really special I'll share that with you and that guy was being really nice he's telling me like oh you're gonna have this little fluff ball forever and he's gonna be

so much fun and it was probably one of my neighbors I've never met but yeah it was like he was basically the dog I would describe as like a German shepherd on roids but like black and gray and a huge his paws were the size of bear bear paws like it was nuts and then Jimmy was cute like uh the dog was kind of making him nervous and he jumped up on me he was like getting scared um so anyways that's my update on Jimmy let's do the reading of the notes yeah I would like okay scratch what I said about him biting the rope he's biting my hand I'm gonna feed him a treat it's probably a bad idea. He's going to stick around. So I used to write just all the time. Like I don't know how to describe my, my process of writing. Um, usually at night thinking a lot

of thoughts, a lot of Google rabbit holes I get into would inspire me and I'd sit and write about it or ask, like I write a lot of questions down, but the particular, uh, document I'm going to read to you today is actually not my own work it's okay you're probably confused I thought of an idea last summer to make Instagram posts that were like actually helpful for people so I posted like a take what I said take what you need on the description like it'd be a picture of whatever and then a bunch of swipes it'd be take what you need is what I would write with a finger pointing down and then I'd list off like on this day in history here's the psychology fact here's an adulting tip here is an Amazon product you need like I would just write or a question to ask

yourself a thought of the day like I would write all these like bullet points out so I'm going to refer back to that because I think it's fun I feel like this might be a little um I don't know educational and kind of fun and I want to brush up on these things I used to look up so yeah my own work I don't know so like we have let me just read off we got I call this my Instagram description copy let's learn and grow together okay so I did like snack recipes with like five ingredients or less Amazon products psychology facts household tips skincare tips mind-blowing facts would you rather important questions to ask yourself quotes positive affirmations funny websites to go to national holidays current events today in history and adulting advice okay

so I like psychology facts should we start with that of dating and relationships to adulting advice let's do psychology facts I'm just gonna read them off and kind of like comment I guess on I don't know um first one I wrote or I took off of Google like this is not again this is just something I copy and pasted to post on Instagram so you read faster with a longer line length but prefer shorter you read faster with a longer um probably because your eyes don't have to break up and change lines okay well that's kind of weird you can only remember three to four things at a time the magic number three or four okay I don't know that these are I'm already annoyed by this

I feel like these are boring you can't actually multitask true because like your brain what is that thing about multitasking like your brain can only technically focus on one thing at a time right is that what the saying is I've started to change so let's just talk about myself now I mean this is going to just inspire me to talk about all kinds of shit this um this document I'm reading but I feel like I'm I used to start and stop a lot of projects you know what I mean like I would get excited about doing something so I'd start it and then I get excited about something else I'd start that. And I had all these loose ends and my life felt kind of, um, meaningless. Like I felt like a worthless piece of shit, to be honest. At some point you get in your twenties and you go, I just

need to pick something, pick something out and stick with it. And I think the podcast has taught me that the fulfillment you get after going all in on something, it's like the point that's like the purpose of, I like found my purpose. What am I saying? Life is a lot more enjoyable when you're decisive and you pick something and um I guess that doesn't have to do with multitasking necessarily I guess multi-hobbying whatever um yeah so I don't know I think that's something so that idea is something that is a new it came it came upon me naturally and organically like I wish I knew that phrase when I was 21 or 19 like eventually you just need to pick something and I don't think that's preached a lot I don't hear about that a lot I think a lot of times

were sold like try it all throw a bunch of shit on the wall and see what sticks but the that's great and I feel like I did that I've tried so many things I've I've really diversified my um my like 20s into so many different little areas and pockets of hobbies jobs um friends like activities adventures like I've tried a lot of shit and I feel like the second part to that is literally pick something and you will be and you'll be so much you'll feel a sense of peace and uh like you'll feel like your life really means something when you i don't know so next one i don't know dopamine makes you addicted to seeking information i feel that in my soul or addicted to seeking information that's why we're obsessed with like

i guess it's the information age you just want to you like that's what i'm okay i feel like that's what's so enticing about for example watching a tiktok and you hear a little bit of about something you've never heard about and then all of a sudden you're fucking obsessed and you're on google and you're looking this shit up you're watching the documentaries on netflix and you're just in you're in so deep because you get like addicted to finding out more like you want to know why and i i don't know that's all i do all day i ask i'm like a two-year-old or i'm like a toddler that's in the back of the car in a car in the in the booster seat mom why is the train going that fast or that's a advanced question for a toddler mom why does the bird make that noise

mom how come my crayon box is not metal okay that's a really advanced question I don't know again I fucking you know how like when you're around little kids are always asking questions why, why, why, why, why? Uh, I still operate like that. Um, and especially with like people in, um, human nature and psychology. Like I, I don't know. I just always want to know what's up and why people are the way they are. I just think it's fascinating. And anyways, um, so you can, you can't resist paying attention to food, sex, or danger. can I eat it can I have sex with it will it kill me yeah survival shit can I eat it can I reproduce with it will it kill me yep

that's so crazy like literally that is all your life is about every single day that is your like when you think about it I think my friends and I in college were having like a deep conversation about this we're like everything we're doing like socialize what socializing why like when you go to a party when you're at the bar like when we're out doing stuff it's like this is all about like produce like passing on our genetics and finding a mate and like having sex like literally all that all that all those little dances we do and all those little messages and you know back and forth with guys and girls and it's just all about like like it's just a big who can I have sex with and reproduce with and yeah it's kind of weird when I think about it like for example it's almost like

I want to walk into a party and just be like all right we're all here why are we here why are we here okay bunch of hot single people want to have sex with each other that is why we're here all this let's take shots let's dance on the tables let's you know have a dj here and dance to music let's fucking like like what like let's go to a bar let's it's all about fucking like that's okay obviously it's all about okay that was kind of harsh it's all about like obviously there's the fun in being social and talking to people and you know what but I feel like I've been in a lot of situations where it's just like why are we all here why are we all here what's the point of this we're trying to we're just trying to you know reproduce

this is all I don't know when you like zoom out and look at it that's what it is all right want to change a habit use fun surprise in a crowd use fun oh I kind of really I kind of that resonates I'm just drinking water tonight you know Friday night drinking water it's been a rough it's been a rough week with the puppy I don't know uh wish I had some honestly guys why do I have this okay I want to put a shelf up high and put a bunch of whiskey on it and don't ask me why but I want to I like want a whiskey collection is that and I was okay this is why I so fuck why am I going off topic I love like a so I like sipping whiskey at night I feel like a is that a mature sophisticated thing. I don't know. I just like, so I'm not going to drink vodka. I don't like

drinking wine. Like I like whiskey. I just like to sip it. It's like a warm and fuzzy nighttime thing. Um, wine too. Right. Like I obviously like, okay, she drinks wine of course. Right. But I like whiskey. So I used to live with an individual who had a whiskey collection and all the whiskey was on display on this cool wood shelf up high. Right. There's just something about that I don't know I just feel like I want it again and I want to have like options for people when they come over it's like all this fancy shit all this fancy alcohol I don't have any like I literally have my mom gifted me two bottles of wine for my birthday they're like from my literal like when I was born years um I think they're just both like red french wines I should probably

know more about them they're very special but um I need to I feel like at this point in my 20s I need to start like I need to have a bar set up a I need to start collecting bottles of something and I like whiskey I like I don't know um like I want to get like a cool shelf I don't know why am I going on about that that literally can't but did that come out of nowhere oh I'm drinking water yeah I'm not drinking I'm like it's been a rough week I'm drinking water um so oh that resonated with me fun surprise in a crowd I feel like podcast like my head the habit I'm changing with the show and like I guess in general like the overarching habit that I'm trying to nipping the ass with myself is consistently working towards a goal without breaking the

chain and I guess the discipline of never missing a day because the podcast is forcing me like I can't just skip a day I can't just decide oh it's fucking Friday night I don't feel like it no I have to do it and I feel like that's helping it's making me a more like I feel so much more confident about myself like I'm definitely building that muscle up with the everyday thing I I feel like I have more my shit together in every other area of my life because of this it's a discipline like it's not easy to get on the microphone and talk every day um but I guess the habit I'm using fun it's fun for me to do this surprise surprise I don't know is this does this is this a surprise every day new surprise in your inbox what's it gonna be

today what's she gonna talk about a crowd you guys are the audience I guess but if if this if you want to play that to your life if you want to change a habit fun surprise in a crowd there you Yeah. Laughter is unconscious. I'm doing psychology facts just to refresh. Laughter is unconscious. You can't actually laugh on command. It will be fake laughter if you try. That's so true. Like you can't fake laugh or you can't laugh on command. I love, I think that's a quote I posted on Instagram a few years ago. How wonderful is it that we laugh because our bodies can't contain the joy. That's my, that's probably one of my favorite quotes ever. I don't know who said it. I feel like it's just a Pinterest quote, but think about that. Your body is so happy. It

can't contain itself. It has to make a noise. Here's another laughter one. Laughter is for social communication. We rarely laugh when we are alone. Not me. We laugh 30 times more often when we are with others okay that's definitely true when you're with your friends and you're laughing it just it happens 10 times more but I laugh when I'm alone literally with Jimmy especially now like I laugh at him all day this the little bunny hops he does whenever he's just like he'll take his toys and run off in the other direction it's so cute and his little butt is like going back and forth um or I just laugh like I I dot like guys TikTok I don't know I'm a I'm a browser I'm back in it I feel like I go in and out of TikTok but

I die laughing by myself watching TikTok sometimes like it's a I and those are the ones like the ones I save to my phone are usually the ones that I'm like breaking a rip over next let's do another one here um oh fuck another laugh let's just do it I wrote three here we rarely we rarely laugh in the middle of a sentence it's usually at the end yeah that's kind of weird if you laugh in the middle of a sentence okay most laughing occurs by the person who is speaking not the person who is listening the person who is speaking laughs twice as much whoa so like hi I'm Jacqueline I'm gonna tell you a story about Jimmy and I'm oh my god and he did this I'm laughing more than you are

yeah that's true because I feel like you think it's funny so you're saying it to the person and then they're processing it and then at the end they realize how funny it is and then they start laughing so you're I don't know why do I have so many laugh ones here oh this is you know obvious your unconscious mind is faster than your conscious mind the unconscious figures out first what is going on then your conscious mind starts to catch up facts um your attention is riveted by pictures of people

duh instagram you overestimate your reactions to future events facts that's why okay is anxiety future depression past is that what it is anxiety future depression past yeah i usually go well in the past speaking of the past former me was definitely a depression chick think about the past think about something I did the guilt the shame the um I'm not good enough I should have done that like all that self-talk literally doesn't exist in my life anymore I don't know how I honestly I don't know how that happened so amazingly it it's like I sprinkled fairy dust over my life and then did a podcast got out of 2020 and I literally don't sit and shit shit talk about anything anymore to myself

and I'm being honest about that I told my therapist I'm like she's like so you know what do you what have you noticed what's the biggest change you've noticed since we started talking this is like we started talking to August and I'm like I don't I'm like I don't sit and think about myself anymore and think negatively about anything at all like literally and I don't mean this in a self-obsessed like I'm so cool way but and I and I and I honestly like I'm kind of getting this from um a podcast I just listened to fuck what was it Whiskey Ginger had um Andrew Santino just had a Trixie what's her I don't know what to say because he's a he she's a drag queen but Trixie and it really hit me because I feel like this is me now Trixie Mattel Mattel Mattel

yeah drag queen Trixie Mattel was on Whiskey Ginger I was um listening to the episode this morning and um he said something okay I don't know do you call drag queen she she right she said something that hit me and he goes fuck she he fuck I'm not trying to be um rude or like I'm trying to get this right Trixie is she right and then his real name is he's a he then when he's not in drag okay she said that in a world where everyone hates themselves and thinks they're not good enough whatever I think I'm amazing and cool and the shit like I'm awesome I'm the coolest person out there like that's how I talk to myself and I'm just why am I going on about this what was the fucking psychology fact sorry

oh um you are oh I was talking about anxiety in the future depression in the past because you overestimate your reactions to future events. Okay. So I thought about that and I'm like getting all this inspiration, obviously from social media and people, like people out there that are talking like that. And it, and then I, I kind of adopt that mind mindset to my life, but I realized that's something I've been doing for a while now. I definitely just, I, instead of, I don't know how to say this. Like, I just don't care anymore about judgment or people's opinions or like appealing to people in a certain way or curating an image or a way of speaking. Or I don't, I think in the past I was so insecure about myself and how everything about

myself that I was, I was like afraid of people and interactions and like how I was going to be received where now I'm just like, and not to be like a, a Tik TOK bandwagoner. Wait, what are these? Everyone on Tik TOK is all about being the main character of your life. Like you're the main character. And that also resonated. And I feel like once you think of life as like kind of, it is a game I think I've always thought life is game you're the main character of your movie of your life and everyone is just a supporting you're just everyone is like a supporting character around you that they're there to be your friend and have fun with and interact with and it's not scary and you it doesn't matter what they think about you because

it all that matters is your relationship with yourself and your self-love and and feeling confident and and happy about who you are and sitting and being at home with yourself and your soul and um stop being so worried about shit that doesn't even matter and the other other thing I learned a big lesson or big idea is that most people are thinking about themselves like you're in public you're in a new you know group of people at the office you're out at a party literally every single person there is sitting and going do I look okay do they like me am I funny am I cool like like everyone is sitting and self they're self-assessing they're just sitting there thinking about themselves they're not putting you under a microscope going oh my gosh Jacqueline's left

eyebrow goes up higher than her right one or whatever because it actually does but like you might have all these insecurities and literally no one is thinking about this and I don't know why this is what's kind of I don't know if it's embarrassing or just kind of sad I really wish I okay this is not regret and I'm you know this is just kind of a thought I'm seeing now how I guess maturity has allowed me to finally get it but it would be nice if I learned that when I was like 18 you know coming into adulthood and and feeling like a boss bitch and not feeling all these insecurities because I think I put on a good show that I was confident and I think a lot of us have we know what that is we know how we can I I think I fake confidence

for a very long time and I legitimately come on here now and say like this is the this is the growth I'm like I suck at this I'm not proud of this I'm not you know like I literally sit in a like i'm open as f you see like i'm open as fuck now because it feels so much better to be real and honest about exactly what you're feeling and going through and not try to put on some sort of like shield like i'm a podcast host i'm confident i love everything but the facts are the facts are um i actually am right now in a really like i feel strong and confident all those good things because of the podcast and talking it out every day but um back to the psychology facts sorry to get off topic um I don't have the future anxiety thing like I'm never up at night like I'm never

up at night thinking about oh my god what tomorrow I have this meeting or oh tomorrow or in two weeks I have to meet this thing or do this thing and oh my god I'm so worried about this whatever like I literally don't even think about anything in the future I don't know if that's bad um or I I don't I guess I don't it's not that I don't think about the future I don't like concern myself with it or that does like the future doesn't occupy my brain all day um I think what I do dude this is like a weird episode wasn't I gonna read all these psychology facts like I could list but then I get inspired to talk about something um I feel like I I think of things in chunks of time I've always done this I think of things in chunks of time

and I have dates like hard dates set in my brain and then like goals attached to that and I think of like okay the next six months and I right now without I it's a private thing I'm not going to share with anyone but I currently have a six month plan like like it's set in stone this will happen by this state and I've always like and I think what's I don't know how I do it I really don't but when you when I reverse if I go back in time and I look at my life that's pretty much how I've gotten everything I've wanted over time like I look at things I look at the next three months I do like what are they called in fucking startup world talk it's like sprints I do these like six month sprints of um effort towards something I want and then I get it and then I have it and

then I'm like okay this is what I wanted bask in that moment of like oh my god I accomplished it and then I um you know something else comes along and then it's not that I'm never satisfied it feels good because you finally get that goal and I know I've talked a lot a lot about how in the past I'd be split into 50 different things and I would never really accomplish any but I'm talking more in terms of career moves you know lifestyle changes like moving to California like that was something I had set in my brain very it was like a very um I said by June 1st 2018, I move into California and I did it. And I set that goal in like January. Um, and then like throughout those months up until I moved, I was just making a little, I was

making little baby steps towards it. So anyways, why was I talking about that? Yeah, I really don't give a fuck about the future. It's not useful to think about the future other than like maybe like have the goals on your brain because those are something in the future like those are future events the future things you want to make happen in your life but don't like like who gives a fuck about like I don't know I don't know I just roll the punches I don't know Why am I like this? I don't know. Um, oh yeah, I like this one. This is another psychology fact. I think I'm just going to do psychology facts today. I know. Didn't I mention on Thursday? So yesterday I was like, I want to do an entire episode about the, uh, Wall Street bets or the

Robin Hood drama. Like I wanted to come on and be like, Hey, I have a Robin Hood account. This is my opinion this is what I think is happening like and do an educational informative video and to be honest I'm just like I'm still trying to fully understand it get my head around it um it's pretty straightforward to me what went down but I don't know I kind of almost want to like I don't I feel like next week's going to be interesting because this is you know we're going into the weekend and this just happened a couple days ago and then I don't know I just like to watch, my favorite thing to do is watch experts discuss it and talk about it. Cause I'm not an expert. So my favorite thing is to sit back and like learn from them and watch them talk

about it. Cause it's so fascinating. There's so many takes, there's a lot of different kind of ideas and takes on it. So I'd like to chime in, but I don't really feel that confident in my opinions and my ideas about it, to be honest. Like that's me being honest. I'm not some pro investor yes I invest but I'm not like fucking yeah okay um this is a psychology factor I really like things that are close together seem to belong together okay let's make this interactive look around your environment right now how true is that like table and chairs they're close together they seem to belong together uh what's like another good one books on a bookshelf um like coffee like a like I have a canister of coffee beans next to my coffee

pot belongs together my I don't know does this actually does this sound stupid or is it cool oh um your sink and your bathroom and your uh towel no that's kind of why when i first heard this why did i go why was i more um excited about it um shit okay wait let's think about side like birds and trees wait i don't know I feel dumb wait like I'm looking okay what would be like paper in a binder I don't know okay this is I'm annoyed um next one bite-sized chunks of information are best that's a huge lesson I learned in business like if you can't explain your company and make it make sense to a what was it was always like what a third grade level

of understanding a first grader like boiling shit down to the most simple terminology and and words is best like um what is my podcast like if I have to explain to people what is the Jacqueline Monroe show hey second grade girl who's got a crush on Johnny you know how you write that you have a crush on Johnny in your fuzzy purple diary every day so I do that too but I say it out loud and I talk about it it's an audio diary I don't know if they know what audio is you know how you listen to music in your headphones I could kind of I'm embarrassed but why did I just say that fucking it's an audio diary audio diary two words audio diary. I feel like that makes sense to people when I say it. Um, people are inherently lazy.

Oh, I just got inspired to talk about this. Let's bring up Jimmy. So people are inherently lazy. Jimmy is exposing to myself how lazy I am. Like I am. Okay. I'm not proud of this. I'm not excited to share this but like when so this is how or I guess in my past I could do whatever I wanted didn't have a puppy and have anything to take care of and have to take out every two hours like pee and like feed but I don't have a choice like for example I'll be like super this is gonna be graphic but the first couple nights he shit all over my bed and it was like okay obviously I had to clean it up. I had no choice. I wasn't going to just let it sit there. Right. But the, the, um, what's the, uh, science term, the inertia I was feeling the resistance. Yeah. The resistance

I was feeling about having to wake up in the middle of the night and I turned lights on and get all the cleaning shit and take the sheets off and take everything. Fuck. Like get the, he shit on the piss pads. Thank God. Like the ones that are protective. So it didn't actually get on my bed he did shit on my pillow I told that story um one of the nights but just like that resistance and same what same goes for recently like I'm potty training him around the clock it's 8 p.m he's sniffing all over the ground I got about four and a half seconds to get his leash on and first of all i have to take my body off of the couch stop watching my youtube podcast or whatever i'm watching on my tv i have to get up quickly when i'm fucking tired and just want i

just want to relax grab my dog put somehow get my shoes on get my keys get because i don't want i have this paranoia every time i leave my apartment i never forget my keys i don't want to like, actually, you know, lock myself out what grab the treat. So when he pees, I reward him like I have a little thing ready, like my coat has it all in it. But it's like this. I can't just be lazy and not act quickly. Like I have to he makes me move quickly. Whenever I'm outside with him. I'm like meditating. I'm like, this is patience practice. This is my breathe in the fresh air practice he gets me outside every couple hours this is good for me we're stretching our legs like because in the past like I would literally just sit in my apartment all day work on my

laptop podcast inside and like you know run errands go out to the beach or walk around you know I was walking around town a lot before I got him but recently it's like damn I'm fucking lazy or just I'm not very um I don't have a lot of pep in my step I guess I'm just I'm just like a very I mean like I don't just jump off the couch at 8 p.m and like get up and like go outside and like oh let's just go on a little you know walk like I don't know but the psychology fact is people are inherently lazy synchronous synchronous activities bonds the group For example, singing together, cheering at a sporting event together, dancing together, Pledge of Allegiance, shouting slogans at rallies or matches, group workouts, and I'm just going to pepper this one in. I feel like the Black Lives Matter protests bonded a bunch of people.

So synchronous activities, yeah. let's all sing a song in church like it bonds everyone okay um the desire for control and choice is built in do you guys believe in um here's an interesting interesting segue off of that one do you guys believe in free will or do you think our decisions are predetermined like they're already like if you could I don't really know how to explain this properly but if you believe in free free will free choice like you know you wake up every day and everything's random and you get to decide what you're gonna do or do you believe that it's there's a plan there's something set in place set in stone that if you could like time travel you know

I don't know a month ahead what am I saying like all those decisions would always be the same no matter what because it's predetermined and then they're saying like if you could get into the brain and like deprogram or like I don't know I don't know where was I going with that it's probably something I saw on the internet um free choice free will is free will free wait let me google it is free will an illusion i guess this has to do with like religious stuff too

is free will an illusion according to their view free will is a figment of our imagination no one has it no one has it or ever will rather our choices are either determined necessary outcomes of the events that have happened in the past or they are random our institutions about free will however challenge this nihilistic view is that the right pronunciation nihilistic um anthony cashmore said free will is an illusion i guess this has been going like this idea has been going on since the enlightenment 18th century um does free will exist or is every action predetermined let's go let's go to this website i don't know i'm interested this is my friday night hangout

session with myself am i um all that's missing here like i've mentioned earlier just a little you know beverage a non-water beverage like I'm literally drinking water I feel like I need a little uh just like a little dab of whiskey a little boop what do I like um what is it whistle pig no whistle pig Whitford Reserve no whistle pig I don't know I've tried so many from the okay wait let's see the psychology of believing in free will a recent study showed that it is possible to diminish people's belief in free will by simply making them read a science article suggesting that everything is predetermined okay this made the participants less willing to donate to charitable causes

okay whatever um trying to find like a conclusion here quantum weirdness what do you guys think let's just read the final paragraph ultimately whether free will exists or not may depend on your definition if you wish to deny its existence you should do so responsibly by first determining the concepts clearly and be aware that this may affect your life a lot more than you think i don't fucking get it why this article kind of sucked basically my understanding is like

there's either one side believes like you you know free will freedom of choice you go as you please and do whatever you want it's like random it's in the moment or i guess so there's a anthony cashmore what did he say determined that was he said that's an illusion and that everything's predetermined okay oh my god oh my god oh my god okay i'm gonna wrap the episode with this thought holy shit get ready for this get ready for this i don't know i might have um I might have mentioned this in the past I don't know I like what this is episode 148 there's so many episodes so I came across of course some TikTok video and I've seen two of them now about

this that okay it's like let me wrap my brain around this and try to explain it correctly so it's about how like manifestation is like a like it's totally real because you're so you know when you're you know that gut feeling you get about something wait how do they you know what I gotta find the video it's so on point I really wish I had this queued up and like I could explain it better has to do with like how your future self can talk to your past self and the like the gut feelings you get or whatever that's called in a situation is your future self telling you to not do it or to do it and so you can basically manifest because of that wait how

does this girl explain it's so good it makes so much sense too like the way these people are describing it it's so perfect god why do i like so many videos on tiktok i literally like every single video let's find this girl she's oh yeah here she goes you time travel every single day part one guys i cracked the code like i'm shaking like spiritual tiktok like if you guys anyone she's shaking interested in breaking out of the matrix if this has found your timeline it is for reason so please stay tuned okay guys i don't know if i'm gonna be able to fit this in one video probably not but like i realized guys like our body gives us the ability to time travel okay so our present self exists here right anytime guys that you guys can go back and exist in a

moment in the past that is you time traveling right that is your present self trying to warn your past self about what's going on in that present timeline so now think about it anytime in those past timelines you have had gut feelings that was your present self going back and warning your past self and guess how you can get to your future self by manifestation guys like our bodies are literally vessels to time travel in like this is okay was that a little too too much for you guys sorry and I know she's kind of like oh my god I'm worked up about this but um people are commenting so this is how you heal your inner child go back and heal her so okay this is wild like how do I feel like I've done this um

like, it's kind of, like, a hard concept. Like, I'm trying to think about it in simple terms. She was basically saying, like, the moments, like, the current moments you're having where you're thinking about your past, like, every time you think about your past and relive those moments you can like warn you're basically like offering up I don't know warnings and wisdom and direction for your past self to take like your if your future like your current self is thinking about your past self like if you ever just put yourself back in a situation where I don't know this is kind of woo-woo I don't wait why did it make so much sense when this other guy explained it So, she said, and how do you get to your future self through manifestation?

So, yeah, okay, I fucking really, okay, excuse me. I, that makes more sense to me, the whole, like, you can manifest and get something in the, for your future self. Because I'm not going to, like, I'm going to tap around and be very vague. Like, but I feel like I'm, I'm experiencing that in a insane way right now where I set something on my brain and then I literally don't, I, I constantly think about it. It's like a, I don't know. It's, it's a constant, like I'm always, my brain is constantly looping about it. Right.

Constantly looping about it, thinking about it, like wanting, like everything is just like moving in a like in this machine in my brain like it's and then I'm starting to see this acceleration happen around it and I'm going is this because I am thinking like the thought is going to become the reality does that make sense so I feel like that's real and I've seen this happen before in my life where it's a whole like set your mind to something think about it visualize visual like a lot of athletes visualize them winning and that's how they win or they visualize how they're going to throw the punch or and then I believe in that like I feel like visualization is so huge and thinking like literally believing you already have it

and telling yourself that every day and it will probably become true I don't know a lot of like I hear a lot of, like, smart people say that. A lot of well-off people say how they, like, for example, there's this dude from, like, way in the back of, like, way in the past, this guy who, he said, I want a Ferrari, and I want to be a millionaire in two years, or some shit, and then he literally had a Ferrari, and he became a millionaire in two years, and how did he do it? He said he wanted it and he found a way to do it. And he literally worked like three jobs, rode his bike to work, like didn't. And that's an insane example, but I don't know. I feel like that's, and then you have to be willing to, I don't know, like you can't just think something

and not take action on it. You kind of have to make steps and actually like make moves around that goal you have but I think the constant like the visualization of it is going to keep you on point and it's going to keep you um like if it's on the front of your brain all the time you're going to make moves and choices in life that help move you towards it especially if there's an emotion attached. And in my case, there is. So maybe someday I'll share it with you guys. I don't know. It's kind of like a weird thing. Just, I don't know. I think it's happened in a lot of ways in my life where I like see the outcome before it even happens. And then it happens. Like, I don't even know if I'm like some, I'm not even a spiritual, but I don't really have

a I don't know I'm not really into that kind of stuff as it is I just am it's cool to listen other people talk about it but it's whenever I find myself unpacking how I achieve something or how I got where I am today like if whenever I reverse engineer that it's all about that it is manifestation when I boil it down. It was me putting it out into the universe all the time, constantly thinking about it, um, writing about it, et cetera, et cetera. And then it happens. So like I have a, um, well, I don't know. I don't want to talk about like personal finance and stuff, but there's so much to be said about that. Like literally writing down the amount of money you want to make or writing down just like a specific number and

like seeing that put it up on the wall like whatever you got to do I feel like it will it's not going to magically happen but um I don't know I wanted a dog I got a dog I wanted a podcast seven days a week I've been podcasting seven days a week like I thought that's something I decided and you know what else have I done wanted to move to San Diego okay that's an easy one I did that um I wanted to fix my mental health and my shit talk to myself and I it's in progress but I've pretty much I feel like I'm fucking compared to last year like I was such a mess with myself and there's some pieces at play there's a reason for it I like how I'm not ending the episode wasn't I gonna like read I could no that was the last psychology fact let

me just refresh what was the last one here um we think that choice is equal control oh the desire for control and choice is built in yeah that was the last psychology fact I just want to refresh all the writing I've done and the documents I've put together because I don't know like I said I used to write a lot I'm trying to like bring this episode home in the beginning that's what I said and then I did something I read a bunch of psychology facts that are not my own words in my own work but um I think maybe tomorrow or tomorrow's my Q&A shit I do Saturday Q&A I'll I think I'll kind of pull up in the future episodes next week some of the stuff I've written and and talk about it I don't know um but there are some factors at play of as to why I was

such a mess with myself and not like I I always use the term I felt so I was you know I moved to San Diego within a month I was I moved in with someone did that thing I worked for a startup company for a year and ended up quitting on the spot I don't think I've ever really have I told the story yeah I feel like I have I literally had to get myself out of that situation I was uncomfortable to be in that environment as a woman and not to pull that card but it was and uh just that whole relationship like I literally felt like when I walked into the world after all that went down and I left I didn't know who I was like I was fully soul stripped fully lost like I didn't remember who I was pre-San Diego I had to like find her again and obviously like

I feel like I'm back I'm like 200% back now like I'm even better than that like I feel better than I was before I came here but um it's taken a good I don't know like all of 2019 most of 2020 to kind of get back to that and um deprogram all the negative self-talk all of the um the lies about myself I was fed and the um the gaslighting and all that horrible like psychological abuse that it was just like so it was like a slow burning like it burned so slow but I feel like that's what made it stay with me for so long is like it was over a long period of time and it was so subtle and it was so slow but at the end of it it was like I fucking woke up and I cracked and I was just like this is not um this shouldn't be legal like I was just like holy fuck people can do this

to other people this is like not this is not good and I'm glad I had that experience like my um biggest i guess learning lesson so far in my 20s is that be grateful for your the hardships you go through and the tough times and the bad relationships and situations because they're huge teaching um moments and you can always walk away with a lesson there's always a lesson a golden nugget at the end of the experience that you can walk away with it's going to help your future And now I find myself applying so much of what I learned through that to my life now. And I'm, like I said, I'm, I don't hate my past self for being naive and being so, like, blinded and kind of stupid. Like, I feel like I kind of felt like looking back, I'm like, geez, she didn't know. I literally had no, I had my, all my intentions were good.

I was doing my best. I was definitely in people pleasing mode, trying to, you know, appeal to someone in a, not a, in a, it wasn't in a way that was a win-win. like I wasn't it was benefiting them but I wasn't benefiting from my role in the relationship like it was it was very one-sided it was very like so now I understand how important reciprocation is and um oh my god the word I need I need to use right now is boundary setting how fucking huge that is boundary setting boundaries like I am so like the amount of times I tell people no now is maybe rude like I don't know I don't also say it like I literally

do not do things I don't want to do and I know there should be a give and take and I know there should be like you know sometimes you got to put up a show you don't want to do like I understand that but when there's some certain like hard set things that I for my it's these are things I say no built around my peace and my sanity and my happiness and my um like quality of life and if I'm not gonna adjust and pivot and do things and bend over backwards and say yes and sure whatever like I'll like whatever to for the other person's benefit like you know if I'm gonna be stripped and I'm gonna hate my life and everything's gonna suck for me like end of story because if I'm not well if I'm not doing well it's game over like I gotta come first and now I'm learning that and

now I'm unlearning well fucking Jimmy is teaching like whoa kid comes first by the way that's a huge change in my life like every he comes before me in everything like literally Jimmy eats before me Jimmy pees before like the amount of times I take him out and I have to pee really bad but I know he has to pee really bad he goes first every time like I'm putting him first 100% right now which is I think this is a good practice for me to like figure out a good balance and like as a dog mom or whatever like figure out how to keep him going but also keep myself going and that's been a challenge because it's literally been a week but um there's something to be said about getting out of yourself though and helping someone else and how fulfilling that is and that's probably why

I got burned so bad in that relationship is because I found my self-worth through exhausting myself for another person and doing everything they wanted and never saying no and never setting boundaries boundaries and I was just yes yes yes whatever I'll do it all like you know and I don't find myself worth like that anymore holy shit no I do not fucking I don't work for nobody like I don't I don't um I'm saying like in in terms of relationships. Like I don't, as good as it feels to help someone else and nurture someone and take care of them and help in all their needs and just like go above and beyond for someone, like as great as that feels, I learned from that experience that I have to put my mask on first. Okay. That's

the episode. I'm wow. That one places, um, I'm talking about, you know, on the plane, they tell you put your mask on first before you help someone else help someone else with their mask episode 148 happy Friday Friday night therapy session with myself um I don't think it gets any better than this guys I feel like this is what finding your passion is all about this what your purpose is all about like you'd rather sit inside okay that's not true because literally I have a puppy I don't want to go out right now anyways I'm so fucking tired anyways I don't want to like socialize right now really I just like need to get in good night's sleep and stay in tonight but um when I say this is good as it's gonna get I don't think my happy meter

because here's the thing I have a great relationship with myself right now so that's solid uh you know I like myself I can finally admit that like I'm not a hater anymore um I have a passion I'm passionate about something something in my life and I'm full of love like from especially family and now my dog like unconditional love like that feels amazing um and I feel like I have a purpose I guess like I I um I think I was called for some weird divine reason to just like get on a microphone and talk to people um I always kind of say that like I think some people in this world are just like they're just they raise their hand in class they're like hey does anyone want to get on a

microphone and entertain and talk to people and talk to strangers and like post on the internet just be be in someone's ear you know frequently and you know have a podcast like does anyone out there hey kids in class like does anyone want to do it I'm just I raise my fucking hand I'm like I'll do it I don't care I'll put myself out there talk about my life I'll uh entertain I'll do whatever like it's like this um wow this podcast is dragging on to me it's like this uh you're like letting go of the control like that that's what I've done here is I've let go of trying to curate or trying to excuse me like protect my image and how I come across on the internet I've completely let that go and

it's like this freedom I have now I just show up like we've been best friends for 10 years and I'm on the phone with you and I'm talking in your ear and this is what I did today and this is what I'm thinking about and like that's it there isn't some like premeditated trying to like do a show about this and talk like make it a thing and like we're gonna you know talk about flower arrangements and shit like I don't know um and I think that's why I feel so close to myself now and happy and I like myself is I'm not um there's no phony shit anymore there's no like concern about like the what is it the vanity metrics is that what it's called the numbers you guys know I don't give a

fuck about the numbers like genuinely I even said on Instagram the other day like I joked because I don't have 10,000 followers to do a swipe up link and I'm like in what world does anyone feel comfortable with 10,000 people surrounding them like imagine me with 10,000 people around me like that's not like a normal I feel like I know followers on Instagram's difference like you don't even see them they're just that's just a number and there's profiles but I'm not stoked about like I don't I'm not motivated by that I just like how do I say this like I okay my the the whole process like the whole like I get on my microphone and podcast and post every day is like all I give a fuck about like I just that's what I like to do anything that

comes from that is great cool like whatever but it's not a motivator and legitimately not a motivator and it's not even a goal like I don't think in the future and I know like okay I remember do you guys remember in the beginning of the show I was like I'm gonna drown out these hoes that do one podcast a week I'm going to the big leagues I'm gonna get on the top charts I'm gonna fucking make it to the top like I'm coming after all these once a week hoes with my seven days a week podcast it's gonna take me three years to catch up to Rogan and his numbers and his like thousands of episodes like I was fucking around because I literally was in such a not a low I was just like coming out of a low place where I was trying to say all this like lofty big talking like cocky

shit just to like make myself feel pumped up and like excited and like yes I'm cool I can do this I'm fun I'm interesting I can be a podcast host I can compete with the big dogs and be up there and I'm just I'm just like them but you know like at the end of the day that was all talk there's a lot of like that was more for fun and entertainment right like I was just being funny like that with my drown out these hoes seven days a week thing but I genuinely now know what it's like to be so passionate about something that you you just like care about that like I just care about this legitimately I like I like to podcast this is my passion um I literally just post it like I record it and post it and then that's it like I stopped promoting it I don't like show

like I rarely post the links to my new episodes like I don't I don't really mention the show like other than when I ask you guys for questions for the Q&A like I don't know um, there's a lot of ways to do things in life, but, and I know there's a success formula out there for podcasters, new podcasters and growth. And even got, I get hit up, like I got hit up on LinkedIn. Like someone's like, Hey, I have a group of, you know, I host like a mastermind group for podcasters who want to grow their brand and become big. And I'm like, cool. That's great. I'll figure that shit out in like 10 years. I'm not trying to be like, Oh, like humble, you know? But, um, I don't know. I'm just trying to like find myself right now. And

I don't know. I don't want to get, I don't want to get in my head that here's the reason why a little bit of truth in here. Wow. This episode is so fucking long. I like the whole the psychology fact about you can't actually multitask or whatever so I'm not good at it's just like I something I know about myself I get overwhelmed when I have too many things on my plate like and especially so here's what overwhelms me let's just say I have a goal to get 100,000 downloads per episode by 2025 that's like a future goal let's think of something more short term okay I want to have I want to bring in two g's on patreon by the end of 2022 patreon is my subscription bonus content

um, page where I post extra things and it's for like the diehards, the show it's a patreon.com slash TJMS. TJMS is the Jacqueline Monroe show. You guys probably get it, but so I could like make some, uh, financial goal around that. And like, I want to get all these members and like have this big community on Patreon. I could have 2000 or I could have like two G's coming in every month from it and you know the reason why that so first of all that's a month like that's a I'm sure a lot of people out there in the podcast world have like goals like that especially download goals like I want to have x amount of downloads per episode but it's like for me it's like I podcast seven days a week and I'm being and I'm successful at that I just want to get

good at this before I think about anything businessy or like like monetization or uh what is it called fucking doing like ads and stuff like I don't I don't know why does that make me uncomfortable I don't know maybe it's because I still have that self-doubt like I'm not good enough to be a big podcast host or I'm just like not a it's not that like I don't sit and debate or like think about it I just feel like I want this to happen you know what it is I told my dad this on the phone the other day hold on this is it this is really the answer right here i just want it to happen however it's going to happen does that make sense like i just want this to unfold however it's going to happen

and my job is to get on the microphone every day and make a show and upload it that's my like that's what i'm here to do and whatever like i am so like down for whatever happens happens I want it to happen organically and naturally I like the idea of knowing that I didn't um turn this into some like a like a business and make this some like which is great I think it's awesome that people do that with their shows and and their content you know that's kind of the point I feel like a lot of people get into different um content realms or whatever for you know a source of income like I get it but I like the idea that it's gonna happen however it happens and that I didn't I never want I feel like I never want to attach

money to the show or like make and I know you're right you guys are like well what about your patreon what about your you're asking for people's money on patreon correct I am however I just mean like real money like big leagues like top charts like cross-pollinating with other podcasters and doing more interviews and like working with brands and doing ads and all that stuff like I don't know I just I want that to come here's the thing I want that shit to come to me I don't want to go to it and I don't think like and that's what excites me like I think that's, that's more exhilarating to me, like getting hit up by a brand, getting head up, head up by a, hit up by another podcast host or whatever to collaborate and do a show

together or an interview. That is so exhilarating and exciting to me that that's even a possibility and something that could happen versus me seeking it out and trying to get that. And then like putting effort towards that. I would feel, I feel like it makes me feel gross. I feel like I'm trying too hard I never that's the number one thing about me now I feel like my new vibe or my new like the image I'm trying to control which I said I don't want to do anymore is to like not be a try hard and not I don't know I just feel better about myself that way just it's personal preference right like some people are like I'm competitive I want to go hard I want to you know grind grind grind and go big but i don't know i'm more like dude i'm just fucking having fun

on my show man i don't know friday night therapy friday night therapy with myself um i'm gonna watch the lex friedman tim dillon episode probably stay up really late and watch that even though I should go to bed there's something so zen about Lex Friedman I don't know what it is but there's something so zen about him speaking of fellow podcast hosts what a cool dude like he's just so soothing his voice is very soothing he's just a cool like a very soothing person and Tim's fun and fucking crazy and says the most he's just I feel like Tim Dillon is didn't I tell you guys how I thought he was hot and then I found out he was gay and I was

like wait this doesn't make any sense and then I did get a DM you guys this is fucked up but someone was like how the fuck do you think Tim Dillon is good looking because I had said on the show and they DM me about it and I'm like he's I think he's hot come out like I think he is and so I found out he was gay and I didn't doesn't he doesn't come across like he's gay or anything like you would never know it seems like with him but uh anyways he's probably one of the funniest people i watch or listen to or i don't have twitter anymore i used to like his tweets all the time i i did that you know what when they banned trump i was like fuck you twitter i'm stopping this and i used to tweet like all the time and it was my thing for so many years and

i don't know i just like felt it's just like i was just so over it i was like fuck you i just couldn't I don't know I didn't want to be a part of that Twitter fucking rat shit fucking app anymore okay speaking of Twitter let's make this a six-hour episode why not um have I talked about how I figured out what was funny on the internet from Twitter like I when did I get a Twitter 2009 so I was in eighth grade no excuse me freshman high school I got Twitter and I followed a group what are they called like a list yeah I followed a list from a comedian in Ohio he put it together it was called Twitter gold and he basically included and I was like there's like three people that followed it I was like a random chick from

Washington who followed the list. And then like everyone on the list, they were like, they like knew of each other, they were writers, they were comedians, whatever. They were just like internet, they were like Twitter funny people. And I remember I followed it and instead of reading my timeline of like my friends and like what I was following on Twitter, I just read the twitter gold and i figured out how people strung words along in a sentence and it like the i figured out how to like what was funny in writing especially just like written out just like dumb shit in a few words or less like in 10 words or 140 characters or less jesus christ and i really had that thought the other day i'm like are you used to like

like study it kind of and it kind of makes sense for when I caption shit and like when I go off on my fucking Instagram stories and I don't know like I've been told a lot like I just know what's funny like I know how to it I don't know how to say it because it's like a weird thing to i don't know say about yourself but like i can look at any situation anything whatever and i can probably make a joke around it and that's because of my i feel like all that twitter i used to read it started like that's when it started and obviously with memes and uh you know i started like I mean how much I watched I mean I fucking grew up with my dad was a stand-up comedian in the household like when I think about it but um I don't know it's just kind of weird to think about

that am I cool am I like the coolest chick on the internet probably I fucking didn't see it while I was doing it you know like you don't realize until you're until later on what your past how your past influenced your future or whatever like um but I was thinking about that the other day and I'm like here's a bunch of weird ass people with like you know just the the nerdiest like all the girls had bangs and glasses and they were cat people and they sat in their apartments in these random cities across America and they wrote on Twitter all this crazy shit and it was so funny like it was gut-wrenching like I was laughing at their tweets and these are like to me people I would never be friends with probably wouldn't think were cool like if I

saw them in public I'd be like these are a bunch of fucking weirdos like you know but they are the funniest people I found on the internet ever and I was just so amazed by it and then um I I threw I threw down I threw down a bunch of fucking tweets like I got inspired man I was just like um like what was my one of my like I go on time hop I can read my past tweets but I think like like let me go to my time hop right now this is a six hour episode I don't give a fuck time hop's an app that you um link all your social media to and then it'll tell you on this day in the past like what you tweeted about what you posted on instagram whatever oh that's crazy six years ago anthony bourdain parts unknown is the greatest show on television

fuck r.i.p um i don't know like guys named matthew should go by math it doesn't add up i could read my tweets like i fucking said the weirdest shit what else did i say baby carrots use fake ids to go into salad bars only a matter of time until we replace the statue of liberty liberty with an iphone oh only a matter of time i'm thinking of these off the top of my head by the way because i'm a fucking nerd about my past tweets only a matter of time until we replace the statue of liberty torch with an iPhone. Then we'll rotate her so she can take a panorama of America. I don't

know. What else did I fucking write? Sometimes I like post it on. Oh, I like this one. I think I post on Instagram. Damn boy, you look like someone who washes their hands. That's not funny, but that was COVID back in March. Yeah, people are, I like this one. I feel like, um, a lot of people save this, weirdly, on my Instagram, like, it's a, one of my big, like, not biggest save, all my fucking pictures of anything with my body parts on it are saved the most, but I tweeted, people who are weird are just better at being themselves, 6-17-19, 2019, people who are weird are just, are better, are just better at being themselves, and i tweeted more after that i think i did like a thread of how

all the people i thought were weird in high school were like so comfortable with themselves and secure and like fucking didn't care what people thought about them they're just themselves and they don't care like these are the people LARPing live action role-playing during lunch out on the picnic tables out in the courtyard fucking playing with their imaginary dragons and swords and they're just rolling around like fucking you know they're 18 years old 17 16 15 they're just fucking off out in the courtyard they don't care and everyone in the everyone is sitting in the lunchroom looking outside going they're weird oh my god these are these guys are so weird oh my god they're fucking nerds

fucking weirdos but they just didn't they were comfortable and it's crazy now how like my favorite people are the like I love bumping into strangers or just random people that are just off like to they're not normal they're just something about them is so it's just so unique so them and it's refreshing because you know I end up being friends with a lot of people that are exactly like me you know and I think that's normal naturally you gravitate towards people that are you can like hang with because you guys are similar and you have similar interests and similar whatever but um I think that's gonna change in the future because I feel like I'm changing and the people I used to be used to think I'd be friends with now are just starting to

dry my eyes out and my ears out and I'm just like bored as fuck and I don't here's the thing I, especially in, like, college, like, this might sound fucked up and kind of judgmental, but, like, it's, like, all I come across, so I'll, like, see, I'll, like, okay. I can't be friends with people who it's like their personality is the fact that they're hot and skinny and they work out all the time like that's their personality like that is it there isn't anything else to the fact that they are hot skinny and they exercise and drink green juice and fucking lay in a bikini on the beach like to me it's just like that sounds so fucked up and judgmental but i need i need like there's for me like i finally got out of that rat race of like that's all when people are like well what's

your hobby what are your what are your hobbies i'm like i would be like oh i work out i work out I work out I love working out I love it I eat clean I fucking work out I like to be healthy and exercise and eat clean and be skinny and like wear crop tops and short skirts and fucking and that's all true that hey by the way still true still true I don't talk about it all the time I don't like that's not there there's that's not that's like a oh obvious duh like it's just like part it's like breathing okay but it's not my personal identity and like how people know me you know because I find that that crowd is just like it's just boring as fuck to me now and I think that it's taken me a while to realize that like it to me it's just not um I don't know it

seems so it kind of just seems so like shallow like there's I don't know but it is a competitive world out there I understand how people become that but in my 20s I'm like I want to I want to lead with something I want to lead with like passion and purpose and like something cool and like artistic and fun and like funky and and a little bit weird or whatever like I want to lead with that I want to like explore that side of myself instead of getting in a instead of just like falling back on wake up workout like green juice hot sexy like like just like that because it doesn't really it's just like boring i don't know how about we just do that and we don't like post about or talk about it or like i don't know it's like a culture thing though i feel

like it's a whole that's why you know what that's why i like literally only watch like european women on like their stories i like only follow europeans i mute everyone pretty much like if you're from if you're a hot girl in America like I probably muted you on Instagram sorry what do I mean by that I'm just saying like I like the European vibes of like there's it's like fucking it's like gourmet it's like interesting like I follow this French girl who's like constantly in the in like a cool cottage in the mountains painting pots or like fucking like playing with goats in a field somewhere in the south like in somewhere in France or like going off to a cool little town where there's like shops full of antiques

and pottery and pictures and old dresses and cool like it's just more interesting I don't know maybe it's because like I'm burnt out of what we all do here with the basic bitch shit because honestly i fucking love it don't get me wrong i wear my yoga pants and my lululemon shit and my nike hat and i drink starbucks and i i like i i'm not okay it's just like what am i i'm more grab i'm gravity or i'm more drawn to people that aren't like my like that are there fuck this is like me saying oh like i want to make friends with people that are like me but i don't know i just crave more now than i more um it's like i need a change of scenery i don't know should i get the fuck out of san diego is that what this is all about should i just like not

live in southern california i don't know am i better than other people because i follow europeans on instagram that or not fucking basic I guess I don't know that was just like one giant flex just like one giant like fuck you if you're um hot and skinny and you work out like I just to be honest I'm bored by you I don't know like you know what it is I'm going off I don't care this is my three hour episode to me it's like anything like I I bitched about it so much in the beginning of the show back in like September October I was like if I go to your Instagram account and it looks like a bowl of oatmeal like the tones are just a bowl of oatmeal top to bottom just like so brown everything's just

like aesthetic that shit fucking doesn't vibe with like i don't like i just don't anything under the blogger umbrella i just like go why are we doing this why are we like i just don't get it i don't understand like i just literally don't care about any of that anymore like i used to get sucked into it. Like buy these new products and wear the new outfits from fucking revolve and like go and shop here and fucking swipe up on use my code. And I get it. And it's how people make their money. But like, I don't know. It's just like, not interesting. It's just like all the same. Every everyone's the same. Everything's the same. Everything's repetitive. Like, oh, new moisturizer this week, new serum next week, new cut of jeans. You got to wear this year,

new fucking hat you got to put on. Uh, just, I don't know. I don't know. There's something about me. That's like, I want to be different than other people. And I don't want anything to do with my own culture. I don't fucking know. Like I just might rebrand into the most, like I could just, if I wanted to be true to my roots, like, I should wear only Carhartt, fucking camo, fucking shit kickers, get some, um, Romeos, like I'm a dairy farm worker, drive a fucking old truck. What else would I do? Chew. Fucking, I don't know. Actually, that's kind of like an exaggeration. I'm literally wearing a Carhartt hoodie right now. I don't know everything on the internet is fake it's not real stop buying into it stop it cut it out

i finally fucking did it and then i'm like oh europe looks cool these bitches are just fucking they're in their own little like fun fucking universe of like imagination and like art and culture and fucking and they actually eat over there, and they actually, like, like, their food is so much better than ours, and, like, um, I don't know, that episode went places, Friday night, drinking water, having a therapy session with myself, if you made it this far, big ass kiss all over your face coming coming your way imagine I just gave you the biggest kiss on the cheek I'm just doing a kid cheek kiss and a giant embrace because you sat through me talking it out I know it went places

that was this is a very insightful like I feel like that this episode says a lot about me and how I think and my opinions came out they were honest they were real you might disagree and that's okay and that's why I think what did I tweet to make disagreeing with people an interesting conversation again like some I probably got that from someone I was probably not original that thought was probably unoriginal did Whitney Cummings say that or no did someone i listen to a podcast that like disagreeing with people is now it's like a fucking battle it's like get your swords fight if you disagree with someone instead of it just being an interesting conversation of two sides two or two opinions that are not the same that

one person is listening to the other person explain why they think this the other person and then it's just this beautiful interesting conversation and there isn't a I'm right you're wrong thing there and I want that to make a comeback what is it the new shit they're talking about and the fucking I don't know cool people out there like it's gonna be the rational the rational revolution is coming the rational revolution like all this nonsense of right versus wrong you know disagreement on the internet it's so irrational it shows how weak-minded people are people are so unable to feel sit with their feelings or their ego about someone not accepting their opinion like that's all it is like you have an opinion you're so sold on it

You're so attached to your opinion. You're so attached to your ideas. It's part of your identity. It's who you are. It's how you think people know you and think of you. And you're so married to it that you're, and you're not able, this is what sucks is like all these people are not able to like detach themselves from it when they hear that someone doesn't agree with them. or they're, um, wrong or whatever. Like they, they won't have it. They can't hear it. They're so, uh, fuck. Yeah. The word is they're married. They're so married to that, their ideas. And it's, um, it's not actually who they are. Those are just random. They're just there. They can change. You can always have them. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of your ideas it just means that someone's someone tells you something different that doesn't agree with it just that's that's all it is that there isn't a follow-up story to that there isn't a they're a bad person I'm right they're wrong it's just they're a human being with a brain

that thinks something different than you that's it that's all it's always the follow-up story that fucks people up it's like some some sort of um meaning they attach to like trying to think of someone who believes in someone like pro pro-life you know and they hear someone is pro-choice you know they're like oh my god and they just like attach like so if you're pro-choice that means you're a murderer and you hate America or you hate people and you don't love your neighbors and like I don't know like what am I saying they basically just tear up that person and in two million pieces and make it about more than just like oh that's someone's opinion they like end up it's it becomes personal becomes an attack it becomes a

like an emotional like oh my god how dare you dude i should fucking make this a three-hour podcast for real this is why it's my passion like i don't get sick of it i'm not i'm not like i'm not like pushing myself to cut it out right now to stop you know what i mean like i said it probably that's what i always do i always go like oh i'm gonna end it and then literally 30 minutes to an hour later it finally ends um i don't want it to stop that's how i know i found my passion dude the fact that people fucking listen to this is wild to me like i i keep saying recently i like oh it's growing and i don't understand how that's even possible like uh how do people find

the podcast like i don't understand i don't know how the algorithm works i don't understand how like the podcast machine works. I don't understand. Maybe my podcast is suggested to people to, Oh, you might also like the show. All right. Happy Friday. Hope you have a great weekend. I'm going to be here tomorrow and Sunday. Cause I do the seventies a week, but if I don't talk to you till Monday or next week, have a great, yeah. have a great weekend. Stay safe out there. COVID is still very active and deadly and you will die if you get it. So please wear protection on that face and wash your hands. All right, guys, thanks for hanging out with me. I know that took seven different turns at the end there, but

you know, fucking whatever. Who cares? I had fun. Hope you did too. And yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. All right. Bye.