The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 152- This Is Gonna Get Me Fired

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

Happy Tuesday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Tuesday. It's episode 152. Welcome back to the show! happy Tuesday hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week it's my audio diary. Let's do a podcast. So, um, let me set the stage. Let me set the stage currently on the couch. It's a late night with Jacqueline episode, drinking a lime LaCroix with lime in it. I squeeze a little lime in it. It's great. Um, puppies playing with the box. Jimmy, my, my golden retriever puppy is occupied right now. And, um, I'm going to be fully honest, like, like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to lie. No lie. No cap. What do you say? What did the Gen Zer say? No cap. Um, so two things. I have nothing to talk about on this episode. Absolutely nothing. This is a

time waster episode, but I do it seven days a week. I have to do it. Right. So here we are. um so there's that and then I'm probably gonna get fired after this episode and I know that sounds reckless and it sounds like why would you say that um of course everything I say is inflated it's very dramatic because this is entertainment I got to keep you guys listening you're probably like why would you get fired I want to listen I got to keep listening and I know is that manipulative if that is that um I'm a master manipulator I understand that but um here's why I have nothing to say and here's why I'm gonna get fired boss please pray for me honestly just hear me out right now when I say this um

am I full okay first of all there okay so I slept all day I slept all day um I didn't work today I took a meeting at 11 I slept up until the meeting and I slept all day after and it wasn't because of depression it wasn't because you know like I'm sad it was literally like I thought I was gonna die I was so tired I am finally and guys I understand if you've listened to the last the whole series since I've had or since I got my new golden retriever puppy. I understand if you're like a daily listener, you're probably like, oh fuck, here she goes again about her sleep deprivation. But understand that I cracked today. Today was, my body was going to, I was going to shut down. So I couldn't, like, I don't even know how I

formed a sentence in the meeting. Like I was so physically tired to the point where I, I, and guys, here's the reason. It's like, okay, I'm sleeping a little more, but I'm still getting broken sleep can you guys hear that airplane I don't know what San Diego San Diego does at the airport here but I feel like they switch directions on the runway like the takeoff and the landing direction and I feel like they just switched it tonight I don't know hold on I gotta take a sip what do you what are you guys sipping on right now are you at the gym drinking a Pedialyte. Fuck. I love when I see people at the gym with Pedialyte. Like what, what,

what's, what's going on? Just don't. Or like, are you drinking coffee? Is this a morning listen? Are you drinking juice? Does anyone drink juice? Like not like a green juice, like orange juice. Do you buy treetop apple juice? Are you girls, are you still drinking cranberry juice for your vagina for your infections dude how the how does that even work can I say oh I shouldn't I was gonna say something pretty um I don't know I shouldn't say anything I should not talk about my body parts and my hygiene or my diseases but uh what's that life like because I've never I've never experienced it um is that a flex maybe I don't know I've I've literally had no problems ever with anything in regards to having to drink cranberry juice and take medication okay why did

I go this see this just went from I'm gonna get fired now I'm talking about yeast infections and shit and UTIs excuse me you're not used UTIs that's why you drink the cranberries okay so yeah what are you drinking I'm drinking LaCroix um this is all coming out in a weird way because the sleep issue okay you know deprivation I'm dying being dramatic because I'm an entertainer I'm a podcast host I gotta I gotta keep you guys listening where was I at so um yeah I have really nothing to talk about today other than sleep and that's it and I here's here's where I'm at here's where I'm at I feel like I've talked about him and oh wait I said I have broken sleep that's why my that's why I'm so tired so it's like still you know have to get up at 2 a.m

to take him out to pee then he wakes me up at 5 or 4 it's usually like 2 4 6 and I sleep light like the whole night is just like him and then he'll like like last night he just out of nowhere starts barking like what are you doing dude you're safe and you're happy you're in a bed because I've been letting, like, to be honest, the crate is worse. Like I will get two hours. The crate means I'll get two hours of sleep because 99% of my night is trying to keep them from barking and crying. And then, so there's that, or I can be like, okay, I can get four to six hours of broken sleep. And then I, he sleeps in my bed. So anyways, we're thick. Can't wait for him to just like you know get settled in and used to you know whatever okay so nothing to talk about today but

I am talking about stuff um oh shit should I just change the subject I feel personally attacked by Joe Rogan's post let me find it on uh his video he posts on Instagram I like got I literally got so depressed about my life. Um, thanks Joe Rogan for posting a big ass, uh, like wake up call for me today about my social life that I remember how, remember how in 2020, the beginning of making this podcast, I was like, I want to be the socialite of San Diego. Like I want to be out on the streets out in no excuse me socialite with the homeless people of course um no I said I just like I just want to be out there I want to be out there I want to have drama I want to have like a vibrant social life where I have shit to talk about each episode about so-and-so said this and this

like I want I want to give you guys hot gossip about people and not my personal problems like sleep deprivation. So that was my goal for 2021. It's not going great. But anyways, Joe Rogan posted a cool video. Very, uh, it's like a little doc, uh, short documentary about happiness. Hold on. 12 million. Goddamn. All right, dude. Um, the great Samuel Rivera films put together this video on happiness Samuel Rivera oh shit I don't think I can play it I'm not going to I I get nervous like especially like I would never do that to Joe Rogan like post his audio I feel like I can't do that like I couldn't any I don't know I don't know how copy I literally have been in social media I've been in like uh content creation for the last decade or whatever and I still am

like I don't really know what's allowed I should probably I'm so guys this is why sometimes I feel stupid like I legitimately feel like I'm a like I I I'm dumb because I feel like that should be like oh you know your ABCs by heart you should just know that by heart whatever so anyways the caption is in this video Joe Rogan talks about how to find happiness and live a fulfilled life I think this is one that everyone needs to listen to share this with someone that needs to be reminded of what's truly important special thank you to Sophia Nelson so the reason I feel personally attacked or just like it fucking sucked to watch that is it has the part where it changed like a life of uh like a like a solo lifestyle or like a narcissistic lifestyle where it's all about you

it's always going to lead to unhappiness because the whole point of life is community connection people friends like love all that stuff and guys who's depressed like let's just get depressed together right fuck the reason that hit hard is like I legitimately have okay this fucking sucks to admit like I have fucking nobody right now and I okay I have people but I don't reach out to them to hang out does that make sense like I have a laundry list of San Diego friends people I've met since I've moved here that of course I could hit up and hang out with like I just don't even do that anymore I have a lot of social media friends like people that I talk to every day even call you know what I mean so like I have a very digital social life which feels

it's like fine and then also okay I do have co-workers remote like you know zoom co-workers which is not even real people but the part where it hit me was like this whole podcast like I do everything about my life right now is like me me me me me the show is Jacqueline Monroe the Jacqueline Monroe show it's all about my life it's me me me me it's like you know the puppy was for me me me it's like everything is I do feel I still feel like I'm not sharing myself in the right way like he was saying in that film or that little short video it's like when people are around you and they like being around you and you know that that makes you happy like the the feedback of or or the energy of friends and and people around that are like they like being they like hanging out with

you that's what life's all about that feeling you get that and here's so anyways guys long story short I just you know what what what am I doing with my life like I need to I need to make friends I need to really go out there and do it and try and I I think I always fall back on well I'm content I'm happy alone like I'm I like my life a lot and I don't feel a need for it but or I'm not I don't feel like I'm missing out and then also I think all of last year I blamed it was like a dumb justification of why I wasn't being social I was like well COVID and lockdowns and we can't go out and because whatever so that's like okay and honest to God like my me a year ago would be so embarrassed to admit that like that's probably one of my biggest insecurities still I'm

like I really don't have I'm a lone wolf like I don't have a huge circle I don't have a huge social life I'm not like out on cool camping trips and like you know like fucking Cabo trips and whatever like people my age do like I don't have that and I think I've always been insecure of that because I'm like I think I'm like oh I should it's a whole should like you should have that you should be doing those things um and I'll say this there's one little nugget I gotta inject here about San Diego San Diego and when I moved I had so I would call my year one in San Diego a very rock star lifestyle like what I was doing my social like I literally was okay I forget like I feel like I blocked that entire year out there's a reason for that but I uh I'm working on it this

is you know it's gonna I feel like I don't even I don't even like to remember that first year it was like a great first year it was there are so many highs and so many lows if that makes sense but I definitely had a rock star lifestyle as far as activities excursions friends my social life was like seven days a week and so I for I kind of forgot about that I'm like wait and then also like okay I'd say the 20 so 2020 suck 2019 was kind of not so great socially socialized and then dude we're already what is this 2021 I gotta fucking figure it out so um I am making friends already because my dog like not friends but like people are like hey let's go on you know a dog date or like hey let's go to the park together with their dog so it's happening I just thought

I'd have I just thought I'd share that because that's a current uh video you know he just posted it today and I'm like god damn it son of like guys why am I like this why am I so like and it's not I think my I question I'm like well am I just in my head about making friends and like thinking it's gonna be like I don't know I think I've been here here's what it is can I just be super honest super honest that's all I do here um god I'm so sleep like I'm I slept all day I think I you know when you sleep too much you're just like it's just you fuck you messed it up you just met you overdid it oh I have one other thing to tell you guys let me just write down apartment on my notepad apartment um what I think it is is I just I'm craving to I'm like I'm trying to find

people it's hard to find people that I can relate to or okay fuck okay that sounds okay I just feel like a lot of the times I meet new people I'm just like I understand people are on different wavelengths like of life and what they are excited about and what they think about and what they like doing like I just I get bored really quickly and I was I kind of felt I was telling my friend we talked for like six hours and caught up one night like last summer I think and I was like all this stuff that most people think is fun like this is fucked up to admit and I was so like kind of I was like shocked to even say this I'm like a lot of the things people our age do and and shit like it looks fun right but as soon

as I get there and do it like for example yacht DJ drinking fun I'm literally sitting there and I'm bored like I don't have fun doing things that look fun or that would seem fun it just seems like a lot of times it's like a lot of the events I've been to are all about like we're all hot we're all drinking you know fun fun fun music dance and that okay that sounds fucked up but as far as like making friends goes like I just don't find friends in those situations it's not it's usually acquaintances it's like we see we see each other when we go out and that's We only know each other because, you know, we're, you know, like drinking together and we're going out together.

And I just, I don't know. And I get, I just feel kind of burnt out of that phase. I'm like, I just like cool ass, weird people, like not weird people, well, fucking what do you, it's subjective. Like, I don't know. Cause I find a lot of people, like I'm in my mid twenties. I feel like you're either a lot of people. so there's people settling down they have kids they're marrying and then there's the people that

are still playing it balling out or fucking why did I go into this rabbit hole fuck me there's people that are like you know still living like they're 21 which is fine I have no judgment and I I kind of sense that I'm slowing down as far as that goes like my partying and so I don't know I just want my twin I just want to find my twin um and I don't need like I feel like as far as friends go I've always been like my best so this is something kind of maybe vulnerable to admit or I don't know my best friends of life like throughout college and I don't talk anymore like we broke up and um it kind of there wasn't anything I just felt like there was some weird jealousy stuff happening and some weird competition like

uh not competition but like I it was always like I felt by by the end I mean the reason we broke like we broke off is I just felt like we were in different places in the life and my goals like they we weren't in alignment as far as people and like what we what we um like we we we were just different like I don't know explain I feel like we were staying friends because we've been friends forever and we've always been friends but I felt held back because a lot of a lot of the shit I did was like oh eye roll or oh they couldn't they weren't into the same things I was into so whatever um but I've always done well with like one or two best friends like that's all I like really want or need but yeah if I could find my twin fuck yeah

um actually there's a girl I followed with a dog Kelsey out in uh Boston she's like an Instagram person I followed forever I'm like that is me but not me like that's what I fucking love about the internet is I find so many people that are I find I relate to and I'm like oh my god we think the same we talk the same we act the same like yes I want to hang out with you. Let's be friends. Like people that remind me of myself, I want to be friends with. And I just haven't had an easy time with that here. God, my life is so hard. Kidding. Obviously being dramatic. Why did I make this about myself? Like I'm a piece of shit. I'm not a piece of shit. Why did I make this episode? Hi, I'm going to get fired. I slept all day. I

work um hi I feel personally attacked by Joe Rogan's video that he posted and I need friends um oh the apartment let me just change the subject guys you know what here's the thing positives let's go positive instead of negative I literally so I am so much more at home with myself than I've ever been and I worked so hard to turn things around after my depressed like four months of fucking depression in 2020 as you guys know I've told the story many times that whole shit show happened I turned my life around I feel like I've been like heavily putting in the work um since August 2020 so the good news is I'm in a better place probably to make friends and go out and do those things so whatever sometimes you gotta ghost and go dark

and not really socialize to work on yourself I think there's nothing wrong with that but I feel like it's the whole like I should be doing that I should have all these friends I should be out fucking on yachts and do well isn't that crazy like I would rather like whenever I've got my favorite my best nights of my life are with my brother like not random strangers and friends they're with my brother like I literally when I have to look at my my life and go okay what were the best nights of my life there are three two of them involve my brother one of them I can't say but not well I don't want to name drop I don't want to say anything but do you guys like when I do that because you'd be like who is it who are you talking about what does this mean but my point

is like I just need my brother I just need my brother and then some fucking dubstep eating like some sort of concert you know just us two just having fucking fun because I it's like my brothers he we're so alike and we have I don't know it's hard to explain um but yeah so let me change the subject fuck I'm just what was this gonna be a 10 minute episode you guys know my style I was on the phone with my patron uh Trevor the other day what was that yesterday and he's like yeah don't you normally do like two hour phone calls it's not like you're like then I'm the time usually like whenever I talk to anyone it's like two hours minimum it's usually it can go up to like six eight I can talk literally I literally will call you and I we will be on the

phone for six hours and you'll be like you won't I don't know if it's me or if it's a combination of the two people I just I like talking to people for a long time that's why I like podcasting obviously, but let me change the subject. Okay, guys, my apartment looks like I'm moving in again. I told you yesterday I showered with my rug. Well, I wasn't really in the shower with it, but I washed it because speaking of my patron, when I was on the phone with him, I started smelling like, you know, I was finally aware of the scent of my apartment and I realized that Jimmy had peed and I didn't catch it because you can't tell on the rug where the pee is because, okay whatever it smelled like piss I was like fuck so I was up all night for a long time um

washing the rug I like showered it off really good shampooed it like it was disgusting my bathroom was like it honestly smelled like popcorn I think because of the fibers in the rug but yeah so anyways my apartment looks like I'm moving in again all my furniture has been moved I took my rug out I have like an entire dance floor area now because I moved my ottoman I moved my pirate chest thing um I put all my decorations away because the rug obviously I didn't move the rug so now I'm just like you know what I'm gonna not have the rug I'm not even gonna give he's not gonna have anywhere to take a piss like he only can go outside because he won't he like doesn't like peeing on the floor floor um he needs like a pad or like a rug he always likes to sniff around

to find a surface that's not the floor but um we're gonna work on the potty training I'm really committed I'm like I gotta gotta get him super well trained and he's um oh fuck I forgot to tell you guys he goes to the so he knows when I say outside he knows to go to the door so that's a huge step like he goes and boops his um leash I'm gonna get a doorbell I think or a button but he he touches his nose to the leash and he's like outside so I'm trying to get him to understand that means going to the bathroom so whenever I say that we put him on the leash we go outside it's so like that was probably the funnest so I've he's obviously learned to sit that was crazy when he first got that he can do sit down and then here he can he knows his name um we're working

on drop or yeah I'm trying to say drop when he brings his toys back but he's so good at fetch like he retrieves it it's white school retriever and then he brings it back to me and sometimes I have to tug it out of his mouth a lot of times he just drops at my feet so I'm trying to get the word drop in his brain honestly I'm just using the I don't know what's the the new I don't know what the new terms are you're supposed to train your dog with I'm just doing what I've what I grew up with like what my dad and mom did when they trained our goldens so whatever we say drop we say outside we say sit down stay we're gonna work on I'm gonna do heel with him as far as like sitting next to me on walks standing excuse me um but anyways when he like it was so cool when

he understood outside and he I did it like 10 times in a row with him with a treat I'd say outside he'd go boop it and then give him a treat outside he'd boop it it's so cute I don't know I love him so much all the drama with him having issues with the potty training is so worth it. Like, I don't, I don't care. It's just, it's kind of, I feel like this is such a good experience for me to go through right now because it's forcing me to, obviously the patience, thank God I have it, but it's forcing me to be more patient, be more present, be more in the moment, especially when we go outside. I feel like my, the time where he's outside on the leash in the grass is my like little meditation time because he, he takes a while. He doesn't

go immediately so I'm just sitting there looking at the trees and the birds and the neighborhood and I don't bring my phone out there and it's just like a nice thing to a new breakup in my routine um so yeah all right guys that's the episode let's just recap what I can remember we talked about uh sleeping a lot today which is so necessary I definitely think tomorrow I'm gonna wake up gonna feel 100% better because it's the physical exhaustion where I'm like whoa it's not like a oh I'm a little tired and foggy brained it's like I felt hard it was hard to move I was so tired so that happened um what else what else oh I talked all about my social life how like here's the thing about that uh the awareness I have at least that's I have awareness I know what I want

I'm not like it's a new goal I could work towards now like being that fucking socialite I talk about or like actually doing it so so we talked about like my quirks with social so being social and having friends and doing activities and the reason I bring that up is I did a lot of back in that year when I mentioned in San Diego I did a lot of like quote-unquote fun activities with friends and like we like a huge with huge groups and a lot of the times I was like I just don't want to be here like this is fucking boring like I don't actually have fun doing these things I just I don't know what I want to do I literally just want to honest to god I know I joke about being a campfire campfire bitch but

like I literally just like sit around like a fucking elder elder person old person I just like sitting around and talking to people like I don't need to jump on a trampoline I don't need to skydive I don't need to fucking go on a hike or well I do enjoy all of those things well except I will not skydive but I I guess as far as like doing activities with friends I just like to sit around and shoot the shit I don't necessarily enjoy pomp and circumstance or whatever it's called and like fucking what's like another dumb shit thing a lot of people do I don't know I'm guys I'm I know I need to get my head checked but hey oh god okay well you know what at the end of the day I still like myself so whatever

I'm embracing my quirks this episode this podcast is helping me do that um so yeah we talked about that we talked about my apartment all upside down and inside out with furniture rearranging and uh yeah that's the episode happy Tuesday Tuesday do you remember the beginning of the podcast like the first month I was like burrito Tuesday I'm so I'm still like well I don't think well every Tuesday I kind of think about I'm like why the fuck did I do that was so embarrassing trying to be a contrarian trying to be different like hey instead of taco Tuesday we're doing burrito Tuesday and I literally would order a burrito every episode on Tuesday yeah we've come a long way so thanks for listening thanks for

hanging out um hope your week's going well so far hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week. I'll be here tomorrow. I'll be here every day. Join me. Let's embrace fucking let's have, you know what? Let's be friends for real. Like if you're in the vicinity of, well, if you live in San Diego, hit me up. Like I need just like drag me out of my apartment and let's, um, go jump on a trampoline. Fuck. Um, so yeah, sorry. Well, that was loud. Hit that subscribe button. Follow me on Instagram and, uh, yeah, I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. All right. Bye. Thank you.