The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 158- My Ideal Relationship

Episode Date: February 9, 2021

It's Monday. Let's get serious. Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up, guys? Happy Monday. It's episode 158. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline happy Monday welcome back to the show a new week ahead on the horizon let's get it friends let's get it best friends um everyone's in the friend zone if you listen to the show I consider you a best friend and I'm I'm gonna let you into my world tonight this is gonna be my ideal my ideal this is gonna be my my okay uh did I okay let me restart this is going to be fuck me this is gonna be my thoughts about an ideal relationship for Jacqueline. I don't know. It just came to mind. It's Monday night and I want to talk about what I'm looking for in a relationship. Um, this is like, I'm

submitting my resume to any future man out there that wants to date me. Like they can just go to this episode and be like, Oh, okay. I see where she's at anyways. So did I ask you guys to subscribe yet. Did I plug anything? No, I didn't. Subscribe to the podcast on the Apple podcast and head over to patreon.com slash TJMS to become a patron, get access to my exclusive content. You get shout outs, you get phone calls, you get pictures and videos no one else sees. Patreon.com slash TJMS. All right. So pretend we're having a slumber party. We're hanging out. um let's talk about what I'm looking for in a relationship I was thinking about it and like I am so in my own world independent busy with my own shit like I think some days I'm like oh

it'd be nice to have a boyfriend it'd be nice to have someone to like have around all the time but at the same time I'm like wait a minute like to have I don't know I'm kind of in this intern I'm having this like internal conflict because I'm like I love my independence and yet I also want a companion and that's why I'm thinking about this and this sounds crazy but I'm gonna just let you know what I uh remembered I forget what podcast I was listening to of course this comes this this idea came from someone else it was a podcast I listened to and they said that like the perfect relationship should be or like the ideal situation if you're dating someone should be like you or like marriage even no okay well this is kind of extreme for marriage marriage

but you basically like you what is what was the thing they said like you never think about them like you're not thinking about them all day they're living their life you're living your life you come together uh when it makes sense but you have your independence you're in your own corners you're busy busy doing your own shit and then you have this like deep friendship companionship whatever you call that you come together and in like a romantic way as well but like it's not this clingy situation because I realize like I am not clingy at all and I need space like I need my own fucking like that's probably why I prefer no roommates like I don't know I like my I like doing my own thing and like I don't know and so I was thinking about that like

I don't want a little middle school clingy relationship where I'm in your ear all day constantly texting you constantly calling you constantly like checking up if you're away with your friends I'm gonna be like texting you the whole time like I don't I literally don't want to fuck you I don't want to think about you 24 7 like how does this work I want to be emotionally and like I want to be in love with you and also not think about you throughout the day because I feel like life is it's like it's complicated it's complicated right there's a lot going on with your job and you're just day-to-day shit. And if you're dating someone and they're just taking over your brain space all of a sudden, constantly all day long, like, I don't know if

I can do all that, especially right now in this part of my life with like all of the shit I have going on. Cause as you know, I'm a boss babe now. I could put that in my bio. I could call myself a I feel like it's official uh I'm an entrepreneur in a way here um I'm on clubhouse I'm hanging out with entrepreneurs on clubhouse follow me at club Jacqueline yeah I got a lot I have a lot going on so it's kind of intimidating right now to think like oh if I go date someone all of a sudden I'm gonna have to like tend to them 24 7 and I'm just not that kind of a girlfriend like I'm not clingy at all and I don't know if the other person would like I don't know because it all depends on compatibility compatibility like I hope like some guys I feel like this is what turns me off I don't

like guys that are clingy to me and I feel like um like too clingy or they're just like I can't describe it what am I even why guys why did I decide on this this topic on a on a Monday night Jimmy, are you okay? He has to shit. I know what he's doing. He's, he's, uh, whenever he has to shit, he kind of runs around and gets, he has a spike of energy. I call it, I call it the zooms. He gets the zooms and then he doesn't make sense with, with his movements. Like he'll run a few paces forward and then stop, do a spin, chase his tail for a little bit. he'll get up he'll sprint again he'll like sit in his his uh crate for two seconds and then he'll get up and shit it's like he gets it like I think I feel like whenever he goes in this um he gets

the zooms before he shits he looks like he's about to have a stroke and then he shits on my floor and I clean it up because I guys this is so bad to admit let's get on a different tangent than fucking my ideal relationship because I'm just trying to here's the reason why I wanted I wanted to talk about it I feel like I need to get clear on what I want and what I'm looking for and I think what I'm what I hope to accomplish tonight on this episode is kind of laying out the style of relationship not necessarily the qualities and a partner I'm looking for just like the like how it will fit into my life style like how this person will like like fit in with what I'm already doing without taking over in a I don't know so anyways but wait was I gonna get on a

tangent about Jimmy yeah I gotta be really honest and and this is this is really um I don't know if this is this is embarrassing to admit or I'm ashamed I'm very ashamed of this I like okay okay how do I even start you guys know I wanted to be a professional I wanted my dog to be professionally potty trained like yeah he's totally gonna shit hey use your pad yeah okay he's making eye contact please I hope that registered in his brain literally like he's shitting all over the floor and I'm just cleaning it up I'm not even attempting to scold him, rush him outside immediately. Like if he has an accident, I feel like what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to like, like scold them in a, like an assertive way. You're

not supposed to beat them, which I have a hard time with that. You know, I, I, physical aggression is what I was. No, I'm kidding. I was spanked. Was anyone else there spanked? Can someone relate to me please and send me a dm like did your parents spank you because I was spanked and I just thought that's the way it is and I thought and I honestly think it honestly fucking worked it got me into line it got me and my siblings in line and I it was like a it was a I feel like it was the appropriate for what we were doing I feel like if I was a parent I would spank my kid too i i feel like there's no other way to make them get it get what they're doing is wrong don't do this again you will get beat um is that is that like what is what do you call it child

abuse what do they what do what are the fucking woke people now or what are the new age parents think of that what is what's the philosophy on spanking your kids now anyways so yeah i don't physically beat him when he shits but i you're supposed to like scold them make a loud noise and immediately take him outside. And this is embarrassing to admit, but I just, I literally see him do it, clean it up. And I like go back to work and he just like goes off and has his post-shit nap. And I'm just like, whatever. I don't know. That's so embarrassing. Cause you guys know where I was at a couple of weeks ago. I was like, he's going to be on point. I'm going to take him outside like every two hours, no matter what. So he never

has an accident and he learns how to do this and I suck I really do so anyways yeah back to how I want a man to fit in my life I feel like I have a lot of momentum and um like personal growth happening right now and I guess I'm afraid and I shouldn't be I shouldn't live in fear but I guess I'm weary of getting off track because I'm so committed to what I'm doing right now. I have tunnel vision. I'm like, I'm doing this. I don't care what anyone says. I'm fucking doing a podcast seven days a week. I'm going places with my job. I'm all in bitch. I'm all in. And I just fear that all of a sudden, you know, a man will walk into my life and I'll just like, and it shouldn't be that way. They're not the right person if that happens. But I'm just saying that I want to make

it work where I, am I selfish? Am I self-centered? Am I self-absorbed? Like this is all about me and my life. I can't compromise. I can't give and take. No, I'm just saying like, I love the idea that we have our own stuff going on and we're not clingy. And we're just like, like, I'm not, I don't know I don't feel like I need you if that makes sense like I don't want to feel like I need someone else and all of a sudden I meet you like I'm attached just because we're all of a sudden like in a relationship and we have to do it the conventional way where you're you know texting 24-7 and phone calls and constantly hanging out and just in each other's mind 24-7 I just I don't know I'm afraid of that I'm starting and maybe is that a mature stance to take am I growing up

I I don't know what do like what do you single 39 year olds do you know what I mean like what do adults that have maybe they've been married now they've got their own careers and lives going on maybe they even have kids like how do they come together and date and maintain their independence because like that's what I'm looking for wow am I overselling or am I over I don't know I haven't really thought about this intensely before um like and speaking of like okay I didn't really want to go into qualities I'm looking for but it's kind of I guess related but I definitely just want to find a best friend who like I don't know how to explain it I just want to like talk I want to be able to talk to someone

like have deep intellectual conversations and you know we have the like the fucking of course the romantic chemistry and that stuff but I want to be able to sit and like I want to be I need my I need to be mentally stimulated I need to have there needs to be a few brain cells in there that that can challenge me in conversation that can um make me think and that can hold me accountable and like help me and my personal growth because you're like totally uh you're like willing or you're you feel confident enough to confident enough in the relationship where you can help me out and call me out to in a in like a loving way like I I need that I really want someone to like push me to be better and um you know keep holds me accountable and all that good stuff but

um and also I just want to be understood fuck you know what maybe that's this whole I feel like the entire podcast is like I feel most I felt misunderstood my whole life someone out there, please understand me. Like, can someone, does someone get it? Does someone get me? Is that what this is? Eventually someone will be like, oh yeah, I get you. After 487 podcasts, I get it. I'm looking at some headlights outside right now. It's kind of sketchy. I don't like it. Oh, we got it. Oh my God. What's that square car that the fucking hamsters were in in that commercial back in the day. Kia Soul. There's a Kia Soul with its brights on out in the middle of the road. You got, it looks like a Karen and a Steve. That guy definitely has a

mustache. They're crossing the street. I don't know. They don't look like they're from around here. I'm doing nighttime people watching. I've never done that. It's usually too dark to see. Um, anyways, yeah, I feel like we all, I don't know if everyone feels like this, but, um, I think in life you, many of us feel misunderstood and we're just like, I'm trying to be understood. Guys, I want to quit. Should I just restart this episode? I could have talked to you about my day. I could have talked to you about what I did on my Monday. I was going to read the news, like what happened this weekend, you know,

go into the Super Bowl drama with Tom Brady and, like, the fucking guy that tweeted about him saying a word that he can't repeat out loud, basically victimizing himself and using cancel culture as a weapon. Basically, this, I don't know what player it was, I guess, made it sound like Tom Brady called him the n-word I guess is what people are assuming because he didn't say it because he can't and it was all debunked debunked because Tom Brady was mic'd up the whole time and he never said that but um the drama is the fact that this player I should just look it up and get the names because I'm just saying this player on the Chiefs was saying

or basically weaponizing cancel culture and using the current climate as like or capitalizing on the fact that it's a it's a if you're a white person you happen to say the n-word you're fucking you're gonna get canceled Tom Brady so I'm gonna just make this shit up and tweet about it and then ruin your fucking career and your uh you know make you look bad and get me like get the media's attention and and blow this story up and like grow my following and put the light on me but it was all fucking done because or it was all debunked because Tom Brady's mic'd up and of course he didn't say that shit so I don't know there's drama about that I heard about there's drama about um I guess some of the commercials like

I was basically like thinking before I so literally before I recorded this I was like well, I could do a topic today. What do I want to talk about? It's like, Oh, what am I looking for in a relationship? But then I was like, well, it's also Monday, like midway through just now. I'm like, well, I could do news, you know, what's going on in the world. It's Monday. Let's talk about the news. Um, I could talk about my day, what I did. Oh, I'm going to drink my black cherry Zevia to transition. Um, I threw out my rug in the dumpster. So as you know, there was a, there was an episode a few, maybe like a couple of weeks ago titled, uh, I showered with my rug or showering with my rug. And it was because Jimmy, uh, pissed all over it. And I finally

had it I was like I I was desensitized to the smell of his piss it got so bad that I couldn't even smell it and then one day I randomly whiffed the air and I noticed it so that night I had I had showered my rug and like deep cleaned it well um you know it was hang drying and this is a big burlap like jute I think it's called a jute a jute rug it's like they're it's like woven and brown like do you guys know what rugs they're kind of like boho kind of beachy so it's heavy and you know it was drying I had fucking fans going on it and I decided to instead of putting it back in my living room like I was just gonna put it away roll it up put it away while he's still potty training and figuring out his um learning how to restrain himself so

yeah I like rolled it up tucked it away and then today this is the update on the rug um I and it was like 95% dry like it's still like the end of it that was sticking out was a little damp so I figured well if it's rolled up the parts that's sticking out will dry it'll air dry it'll be fine so maybe you guys know where I'm going with this but I was cleaning my floor today and I like pulled the rug out. It was like tucked underneath my, um, like I have a dresser and it was like tucked underneath it. So you couldn't see it out of the way. And I pulled it forward to clean the floor and it was full of fucking mold, like fluffy white. It wasn't, it was like the early stages of mold. Like you'd see on your fucking bread, like moldy bread, like the fluffy

shit so I pulled it out and I screamed I just saw it and I was like oh it was like mildew mold like crusty it was just nasty and then of course Jimmy's like plant it's like the fucking jungle gym he's jumping all around it this rug you know I pulled out it's like a big log for him to play on and so then he's going all over it rolling in the mold so I had like a it was like a 9-1-1 emergency with myself I was like okay get this out of the house as quick quickly as possible this is a hazard this is a fucking uh I don't know infestation waiting to happen what happens when you get mold is it like poisoning do you get moldy I don't know what happens if you get should I look it up let's learn something what is mold why is mold bad Jamie why is mold bad

um I'm hiring staff in five years I haven't mentioned that in a while but um uh I'm looking for a Jamie to my the the Jamie to my Joe the fucking and I think I have a candidate well they've been reaching out saying they want to do it in five years so uh you know we got one application so far why is mold bad for humans okay well is mold a serious problem okay is it dangerous to live in a house with mold how does mold affect your health okay so throat irritation nasal stuffiness eye irritation cough and wheezing skin irritation I don't know it's not that dramatic it's not like you're gonna fucking die from it but it's not good

so I just had a 911 and we're just here oh my god I'm gonna burp uh do best friends burp in front of each other can I do that is that okay with you um so crack in my back so I like ripped it out of the apartment as soon as as quickly as possible and threw it in the dumpster and um yeah so there's a life update what else um I'm still looking for a couch guys and I feel like I'm not gonna buy one have I updated you guys on my couch my piece of shit love seat that if you're over like if you're over six foot like this is this is literally why I I fit on my couch like I'm I'm not long I mean I'm long but I'm not okay um how would I describe myself, I'm, she's a brick house, what's that fucking song, she's a brick, no, American woman,

wait, what's that, something, American thighs, what song is that, knocking me out with those American fast. It's like a fucking high school dance song. Do you guys know my high school one time? The newspaper showed up because we were, uh, our school was like the dirtiest school. Like the school dances we had were so dirty. The fucking newspaper showed up to take a picture of us grinding. And so when the, the newspaper photographer showed up, we were like getting nasty with it just for the photos. We're like, let's make this a scene. Cause yeah, we were allowed like i guess at other high schools in the area they weren't allowed to like touch bodies at dances like they had to leave room for fucking jesus in between and we were like literally dry

humping each other on the dance floor anyways um american thighs song what is this i know it i know it acdc you shook me all night long yes knocking me out there's american there we go genius.com ACDC. Damn. I need to like, you know what I need to do? We're just going on a different route right now. I need to put together all of my favorite, um, like classic rock. Um, like what the shit my dad played growing up. I need to put that together on Spotify playlist. Cause I like follow, like, I think I follow a classic rock station, but I don't really, I need to like curate my own songs. Yes. She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen. She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies. Knocking me out with

those American fads. Yeah. It's a great song. You shook me all night long. ACDC. Shout out. All right. So where was I? Oh, my couch. Yeah. It's a joke. So I have a love seat. I mean, I literally don't, I don't need much. I'm a simple woman. I just need a couch somewhere to lay on and you know, um, whatever. So I'm due for a new couch. I've been due forever, but I can't pick one. I'm kind of, I'm like flip-flopping between something like a cloud couch, which is really fluffy and then something that's really I guess vintage and like like cool like the shape is really quirky and weird and like artistic so I can't I'm just like not landing one every time I look I'm just I can't pick so that's my new I guess my update is that I haven't found a new

couch because I just can't pick one out but um yeah it's a joke like the literally the reason why I'm like I need a bigger couch is for the um back to the topic of this uh this uh podcast it's for the future bae the future um non-clingy boyfriend to come over and sit and have deep intellectual conversations with on this couch will be conversations only we'll be saving room for Jesus there's gonna be a middle cushion separating us two and yeah we'll just sit there and talk over iced tea together. So yeah, I really need a new couch. I just need to pull the trigger. I just need to do it. But I'll say this about not having the rug. It feels like my apartment's bigger. I thought rugs make your apartment, like sometimes they make the space

look bigger, but I feel like it made mine look smaller. Jimmy, what was that? Did you hear that? yeah we're freaking out together right now there's like some weird fucking noise in my apartment like a clicking noise he's my thunder buddy what's that fucking movie ted thunder buddies do you guys remember that scene i love my jimmy is forever sleeping in my bed i don't give a fuck about the crate he sleeps all night he doesn't make any noise he doesn't wake me up he passes out when I pass out we wake up together I can't think of I just feel like he's gonna be I don't know like it's tough because eventually back to the topic of this fucking

podcast let's just say I'm staying at another person's apartment or house or whatever in the future or I'm on a trip with them and Jimmy can't sleep with me like I need to train him now to speaking of being clingy he's a stage five clinger and I'm just okay with it I'm I'm embracing it I'm allowing it I'm not trying to change it I'm like you can sleep with me I don't care because I love guys he just he is so good it's like he cuddles he snuggles up he's quiet he doesn't bark he doesn't whine or anything he's just perfect so anyways why did I bring that up oh my thunder buddy yeah there was like a weird clicking noise that's what I love about having a dog like he keeps me um he's he's always on on guard on alert for noises and shit and like his dogs they they

hear and smell stuff before it happens like they know like what is it with earthquakes a lot of the times dogs will start barking before it happens because they can hear it or something okay let's go on a different tangent kind of a dark one oh god do I want to do this right now Um, knock on wood. I feel like there hasn't been any crazy natural disasters or like mass shootings in a while. Pounding on wood. My neighbors are freaking, the dog upstairs is barking. um what's going on you know like last year was australia i just don't am i missing it am i not seeing the news i just feel like there hasn't been like all of 2020 was obviously coronavirus and then the it was mostly like the drama was the fucking

protesting and rioting and the blowing up of cop cars and like rubber bullets you know causing people to lose their eyes and it was that it wasn't it was never like someone well obviously wait a minute wait a minute time out time out time out jacqueline use your logic use your logical uh think logically right now uh there's no there are no mass gatherings right now there are no groups of people congregating where it would be you know a fucking heyday for someone to go and blast it up and blow it up you're not gonna everyone's social i mean you're just you're just not this is not the season of that i feel like season two of 2020 or no fucking the comeback of the fucking mass shooters are they're gonna storm once the fucking concerts roll back roll

Rollback. Oh my God. This is not okay. I should not say this. Like they're looking for, are they looking forward to that? Are they plotting? Are they planning? Oh fuck. Am I planning a seed? Is there, is there a mass shooter out there listening going? Yeah, that's a great idea. I'll just wait until, you know, I haven't really thought about it in a while, but I'm just going to wait till, you know stadiums fill back up concerts fill back up um dude am i am i gonna is this um what's it called foreshadowing or am i fucking am i is this not gonna age well god damn i'm sorry for bringing that up but i just thought about it i'm like what disaster has occurred like an i guess were there hurricanes in texas kind of like that was a thing last year um

forest oh my god Jacqueline are you I did I black out I feel like the forest fires were nuts I forgot about that like an organ the red everything was red and shit I don't know I guess like the flags aren't at half mass very much anymore for because of uh a school being shot up like that hasn't happened in a minute I'm kind of paranoid or I'm just kind of like superstitious about the whole thing I'm like what it's like it's it's gonna it's gonna happen any day now we're gonna see those headlines you know like that's how I feel about it that's kind of that's messed up but I just had I had to address it it came to mind um I don't really watch it guys should I just look at the news um also in a relationship I'm looking for someone who

um like isn't offended by me or anything i say cnn.com fuck it they'll say what's up they're not they're not scared let's go to world news i should go to bbc bbc world news guys know that when i used to at a british phase like speaking of drama u.s deploying b1 bombers to norway to send a message to russia fuck yeah showing some muscle America showing her muscle let's fucking get it um oh I should tell you guys about military TikTok and fucking aircraft carrier TikTok I'm on and cruise ship TikTok like I need to talk about my uh current uh the current rabbit hole my for you page TikTok yeah I'll put that down um yeah when I was in my British phase of like dating

British boys and obsessing over everything British uh I like did not watch any U.S. news I was on Sky News and fucking BBC News like any news that's in England I was streaming here like I'd be at the gym on the treadmill like keeping up with the fucking parliament whatever the fuck in the UK during their elections I was like paying attention their election and uh you know that's back when I would use the phrases that they use because I went over there to study abroad and I came back and I was so cultured and you kind of I don't know I don't know I feel like I didn't I don't think it was on purpose but sometimes I would speak in an accent or like I would say certain words with an accent kind of or it would be blended after i came back and i don't know i'm i don't know um

but here cnn.com world news we're sending a fucking b1 bomber to norway let's fucking get it boys all right new medical report may shed light on adamator triors i can't say the names i'm going to skip it someone died violence and slurs from some of you is okay i don't know what's happening oh fuck okay oh my god sorry okay all right Tesla invested 1.5 billion dollars into Bitcoin right yeah is that what am I saying that right so crypto's here bitch it's here to stay Apple's doing the same thing um it just hit yeah this is big news why I could have started it off with this um because as you know i'm an investor and i like pay attention to the stock market and i have and i invest in bitcoin so i know all about this stuff and i have to

you know just talk about it because you know i'm really cool like that um but it went over forty four thousand dollars today per uh the all-time high of forty four thousand eight hundred $168. You guys want to know what I bought it at in 2016? What's this? I hate website ads. You know, when you're on a website, you're just like there to read something. And then in the bottom corner, there's some bullshit ad going get fucking Toyota commercial. It's like, I didn't, I just, it like pisses me off. So yeah. Um, they're going to start accepting bitcoin as payment for fucking teslas so that's breaking news that happened today um pumping my pumping that stock up fuck yeah all right so let's go to africa

let's see what's happening in africa god damn it why did i click this five dead wait five dead in mogadishu hotel car bomb attack that's what i'm talking about this is kind of news i've been missing i don't look at this stuff anymore um okay schools in africa shut down as covid cases spike okay they're dealing with that to god damn gunman gunman abduct eight children from a nigerian orphanage oh god nigerian approves 17 million dollars for nationwide oxygen plants amid covid19 surge okay um what's the oxygen plant what is um okay wait a minute i need to understand what this is. Sorry. Oxygen plants. I mean, are they talking about respirators? What is

this? The release of funds for the production of oxygen. Wait, are they low on oxygen in Africa? Wait, what is this oxygen thing? There's no details here. It's just like, is that to pump is that for respirators like they need to have they need to have oxygen made or produced for those respirators like why else would covid patients need oxygen wouldn't they be on a respirator that just uses the air in the fucking hospital like i don't understand this guys someone educate me someone please i don't want to take the time right now let's go to asia africa europe and asia don't forget antarctica don't forget australia north america south america africa europe and asia don't forget antarctica don't forget australia

is that it did you guys learn that in school um all the continents i don't know there's shit happening there's a lot of shit happening this is what overwhelms even about being a being alive I literally get I don't know if the word is anxiety I think that's I don't know if that's the appropriate word but I get I shut down like when I see when I go to cnn.com when I go to any news website and I go to all of the continents I read around the news happening around the world I'm like there is so much to know there's so much happening there's so like there are so many people doing so many things good and bad there's it's just it's to literally like have a grasp on and a pulse on the world you would have to read so much shit

and like dedicate your life to keeping up with the news like I can never I could never report on the world like I couldn't tell you what's happening anywhere other than like I don't know a couple us headlines every day like that's it that's all my brain has a capacity to understand so that's why i don't i hate checking the news because i'm like it doesn't it's just i don't know i get freaked out i'm just like it's too much it's like it's entertainment it's like okay let's just check in and see the story of human evolution gets another rewrite with dna analysis of chinese teeth fuck yeah let's click it chinese teeth telling us stuff about human evolution okay something happened in a in the Fuyang cave with teeth scientists have dated teeth

found inside the cave that suggests modern humans arrived in China less than 50,000 years ago all right let's go back to my thought about TikTok um I don't know that was I that segment was all about it's Monday let's let's read the news But guys, I, this is why I love TikTok, specifically TikTok to any other social media. I am so intrigued by people in, like people in professions that, okay, that only those people ever get to experience what they're doing and the behind the scenes of their work life what am i saying that's why i enjoy so i am obsessed with aircraft carrier tiktok i am obsessed with pilot tiktok uh fighter pilot tiktok especially uh cruise cruise ship tiktok like right now out

in the sea somewhere i don't know what sea or where there's like 15 cruise ships like mobbing around with their uh anchors in anchors down anchors anchored fucking what is the terminology for anchors anchors down bitch they're they're anchored in the ocean chilling because covid they're not in use and they're all just fucking partying on their cruise ships all these captains and crew members um but i'm especially interested in like i guess like i don't know big ships and planes and like being a pilot and like like taking off the plane and like all the pre-flight stuff they do they like do their tiktoks and it's all homemade video so they're just doing it from their perspective in the cockpit on the aircraft carrier deck inside the fighter jet like it's nuts and I

get so sucked into it. And I feel like, um, one of my, so as you know, maybe I've mentioned this before. Did I ever mention this? My two, the two jobs I wanted when I was a little kid, like I was the fucking seven-year-old when an adult asked me, Hey, Jacqueline, what do you want to be when you grow up? I said, I want to be an airplane pilot and an anesthesiologist those were my dream jobs and the reason for that is in school there was a like a scholastic kids fucking like magazine thing we got once a month or some shit and on one of the pages I like still remember what it looks like it had an infographic of careers and salaries and I saw there was like specific careers like that's why anesthesiologist

is on there like pilot and anesthesiologist were on the top and they made the most so as a kid I'm like oh well more money is better than less money also those jobs look badass so I want to do that and so for the longest time and it's still to this day I still say I wish I like I think it would be a dream to fly an airplane and be sane and and comfortable with that like I don't feel like I could do it now I I say that I I guys have you ever been in a flight simulator like a legit you're you're in a simulator it's going upside down when you go upside down it's going like it's moving it's not just like a little joystick and you're on a fucking computer screen it's like you're in the plane uh at the museum of flight in seattle they have that and i swear to god like

that i've never felt more alive doing that and i've never felt more alive so the other thing i didn't mention is race car driving like why didn't i dude what am i doing i'm on a i'm on a i'm i'm sitting in a chair on a microphone and i'm calling this my passion when i could be in the fucking sky right now is God pissed at me like what would he want me to do those are my childhood dreams and I did not follow through with them anyways so I love those sides of TikTok um anything like dude the fucking like oh my god the military ones where they're in fucking like combat and there's the bad guys are shooting at them and they're just filming it and it's raw footage and i literally will like i it's like i can't stop watching it because i'm like

what the fuck would it be like to be in that for real these guys are literally in their you know they're you know they're shooting video this like it's it's a real thing in like iraq or afghanistan or wherever they were and um you know on their deployment and it's just like i don't know because it's something i will never experience i will never know what that's like you know the closest i've ever gotten to that shit's in fucking call of duty and like that's not even you know you guys it's like your fucking controller vibrates when you're getting shot at okay as i'm sitting on a fucking recliner with taquitos and cheeto cheeto puffs and fucking um like funyuns hanging out my mouth I don't know do you guys like are you guys in what what kind of tiktoks do you like um

I don't know I guess I have an adventurous soul and I just love I admire other people that do those things and that risk their lives and have had that conversation with themselves that this is a life or death like they're they know what they're signing up for and there is a probability that they could just you know crash the plane or get shot and shot in the head lose their life you know and I you know I chose cushy comfy apartment work from home fucking remote job fucking podcast um safety cushions fucking social media just tap through and lay on my couch and stare at all day and fucking um you know what I mean like I just wish I was more badass or I I wasn't such a scaredy cat about, I don't know why I'm like that. I wasn't always that way. I

think when you're a kid, like I was a kid on top of the refrigerator climbing. Did I ever tell the Redwood story? Oh my God. Did I ever tell the Redwood story? I feel like there were two giant Redwoods at the second house my family moved to. And my siblings and I, so Julie and Robert and I would like, we, we had a certain, like, I remember the branches were like, they spiraled. Okay. This is like, duh, the tree has branches. Wait, what am I trying to say? So guys, so this is what I'm looking for in a relationship. Here's my story about being, uh, you know, 12 climbing a fucking tree so the redwood had these branches that spiraled around it in a very like uniform way so you could basically climb the entire tree as long as you just scaled it in a spiral or like

it didn't fucking fall obviously like you could get up the thing but um yeah when I was a kid like, I climbed so many trees, I was, like, you know, just, what, I climbed so, I climbed so many trees, um, I don't know, I just had a dare, I was more of a daredevil than I am now, and I feel like when you're older, you have more to lose, you realize that, and you, um, you are just, I guess, more aware of death and like you don't want to experience it i don't know we're all gonna die someday we're all gonna die someday so what else could i talk about i'm looking for a relationship yeah let's just get back to that topic because i i feel like i went off topic or i went off track i just sometimes feel like a dude

not like, okay, I just, I don't need a lot of attention, I don't, I said I'm not clingy, I don't need a lot of attention, I like my space, I like doing my own thing, I guess what I'm really looking for is, like, yeah, what did I say, like, a best friend, just someone I can talk to about anything with and we get each other you know what I mean like we just get each other like oh you feel you felt misunderstood your whole life and you have shit you don't like you feel like no one else you can't tell anyone else and you can't be vulnerable with you have all these thoughts inside your head you live in your head all day like me and you just have never really connected with someone where you can share that and feel comfortable

because you feel like you don't you people don't get you I want to be that person that gets you like that's what I wanted like I just want to do that to someone because I feel like that's what I want and so then we just sit on the couch six feet apart and we get each other and we drink iced tea and we live happily ever after and uh I don't know dude um it's just wild like I could not picture this lifestyle or like what I'm doing now I would have never have guessed if I was like 21 I think I envisioned something completely not completely different but um I guess a lot more conventional a lot more safe and like I I didn't I don't think here's what it

I don't think, not to call myself quirky. How do I say this without sounding kind of like I'm full of myself or I think I'm just so weird and quirky, but I feel like my younger self would never have thought I would be this like, I guess vulnerable on the internet or like willing to just let people in and tell them everything. and and you know constantly leaving them asking like wanting more like what's the next episode gonna be like what else is she gonna reveal about herself like I thought when I think when I was younger I was you know obviously more shy and insecure about myself and now I feel it's crazy that I've gotten to this point where I'm so comfortable sharing it and I'm just like considering everyone on the internet a friend and I'm like that feels the best out of it's like why did I go for so long fearing judgment and fearing what people would think of me and fearing like if I was myself if I just let it fly someone out there would make fun of me or judge me for it like

why and now I'm just like people like you for this people are now saying oh oh i haven't missed an episode i listen to every episode i love we always look forward to listening to your stories and what you have to say and every time it's been a learning curve or it's been like a self-acceptance fucking journey because like a lot of the times i'm like what did i just say was that too much i don't know i guess i'm just i'm just repeating um or i'm just following suit to all of the other creators out there all the other podcast hosts out there that do it and I'm like well I admire them I like listening to them I feel a closeness with them and a connection and

um always look forward to their new episodes and their new their new videos or whatever it is and I just decided I was like I'll do it I'll just be that for other people now so I don't know and then I also have the thing where I'm like okay speaking of dating and relationships if someone is listening out there that like I end up dating or like I don't know it's like now they're gonna know everything I have nothing left to give like I've poured everything out and then all of a sudden we're they like it's not gonna be a conventional relationship because they've listened to every episode they've listened to a lot of them they have an idea they have like a they know me really well from the show but here's where I'm at back to what

I was saying about what I want a relationship like I don't want a conventional um like I'm a very traditional person in a lot of ways and I I think in in terms of relationship style like what I'm realizing is that it's 2021. There are major differences with the way we get to know each other now. And part of that is the fact that there's a lot of content creators out there. There's a lot of people on social media posting a lot about themselves. And I happen to be one of them. So I just have to accept the fact that someone out there might be keeping up might know everything going into the relationship and well it just that's just what it is there's no reason to think that's gonna be an issue you know maybe that'll help it maybe it'll help them feel like they

really get me if they've been if they listen to it if they um you know like I don't know ah, what do I do, guys, that's about all I have to say about what I'm, I don't know, today's episode, Monday night, hanging out with myself, I'm 26, dude, when is it gonna happen, I don't know, I don't know, I feel like if I don't start putting effort in, if I don't start getting clear with what I want. Um, you know, I'll be 42 with 17 cats and I'll be wearing those big ass skirts and shit. And I'll have gray hair. I'll just let my grays go. And I don't want that for myself. I really don't. I don't think that's a life. that's a if someone out there is confident in their single 42 17 cats life and they're happy

about it um they're fake they're not being that's how that's sad nobody wants that that's what i have to say about a lot of people out there that pretend like they're happy with their like what i don't want to get into that topic but i think a lot of people are faking it even though they say they're happy with their, um, I don't know, guys, I don't want to be judgmental now. Um, anything else to report on? Do you have any Amazon deliveries coming that I could tell you guys about? Um, um, oh, yoga. Oh my God. Okay. So I did a new yoga, yoga time. Let's do a yoga transition. Um, I am obsessed with Travis Elliott and his yoga videos on YouTube. Like I think this is what it is. I discovered this. Um, okay. This is, Hey guys, this is what it is.

All right. With yoga, it all comes down to the teacher and whether or not you roll your eyes as they're talking or not. That is what it comes down to, because sometimes I'll go on YouTube and I'll be like advanced, you know, I don't even know. Like, are you Veda? What is it fucking called? Like advanced power yoga flow. and I'll just like pick one with a lot of views and I'll be some random teacher I've never taken a class from before and I'll play it and like I'm like well this is going to be good I know it's going to be hard and challenge me and you know like I can I have a sense that this is going to be a good like I will get a good workout from this right however their if their voice doesn't if I don't like them and how they're talking to me during the flow like I will and roll my eyes

the whole time, then I just can't get into it. But Travis Elliott, there's something about him. Ride the river of your breath. Ride the river of your breath. What does he say? He'll be like, bend over. Breathe deeply. Bend over a little sweetly. Wait, what the fuck does he say? go down i know he has like these sweetly deeply he's these like he has these great adjectives what is the thing he always says he's like be consistent be inspired but anyways it's this this guy so i took a class today a new one uh winter it's like winter are you veda i don't know on youtube it's like a one he just posted and I love yoga so much I could cry I'm like I was sitting during like during the the workout like

halfway through I'm like Jacqueline you fell in love with yoga February 2018 and then you did it up until you moved to San Diego in June 2018 so I did like well January I did January well February is when I I like decided yoga is it for me and I did it from February March April May four months literally like seven days a week constantly did it and then when I moved to San Diego I like didn't join a studio I didn't really do it I did it at home but not like not the same level so I during my class say let me get back to that during my class like halfway way through. I'm like, Jacqueline. Okay. So it's February again. You fell back in love with yoga. Don't stop in May this year. Keep going. Go until December. Go in all the way through next year,

the year after that. Like just become that yogi you should be. Don't stop doing it. Because what happens, and I've mentioned this so many times, is I get on a kick and then I get off of it. Get on a kick and I get off of it. And then I never feel like I'm great at anything. And I I'm just I'm committed just like I did to the podcast I've seen the benefits of committing to something and doing it consistently over time and I'm a yogi bitch I know I suck right now I'm not that great I'm all right I'm all right I can do the splits so shout out uh you know my hip flexors for just being flexible but fucking uh just I don't know it feels good like I I it's like I'm married I was like I put a ring on it today I'm like you're not stopping this you're not stopping

this and I felt so good when I was done I was like I was even so I just I don't know so that's an update uh did yoga yoga um I don't know I'm really looking forward to the spring and um I have a busy week ahead with work stuff um I'm on clubhouse a lot right now um there's a lot of just like great minds on it connecting and I feel like you can learn a lot I was in an improv I was in an improv group today of people putting their heads together about improv ideas and like different um clubhouse gatherings they were gonna put together and it was just I was just a fly on the wall like you don't have to participate you can just sit there it's like a it's kind of like having an an am radio on all day or just like

a background um just like radio and it's fun and I get up on stage like I told you guys the other night I found myself in a singles mixer and I was like I didn't know what it was I just showed up and they're like what's your name where are you from like you know and I was like whoa and all of a sudden I'm on the microphone on stage and I'm like okay hi but I don't know I just I'm kind of like I'm just like diving deep with all my job stuff right now it feels really good I just feel like I'm I feel like I've finally landed something that I've been looking for work-wise where for a long time I had thrown a bunch of shit I was basically piecing things together and constantly seeking something like I have now so it's just like nice I feel like I'm in a stable position

with um my work with my hobby with podcasting I have a puppy like I'm in love with a puppy I've pretty much found my dream apartment and my dream location um and I'm also in this oh fucking yoga and then um like I'm adding that in there and then also I feel like the world is about to maybe open back up and get popping again and then we can all bump and grind in the club and fucking go out and fucking spit all over each other again like i feel like the world is about to it'll be like the roaring 20s for real this time and um people are gonna be like just rage once as soon as those floodgates open and we can all go back to the bars like we used to and just all that shit um people are gonna show up and just like make eye contact and then just like

go back to each other's houses and like fuck and then the amount of kids that are gonna happen and just wow who was like on the phone with we were talking about that I was like we're just everyone is just gonna like it's just gonna be sloppy I don't know I don't know so I feel like yeah my life is kind of in a, it's in a, not kind of, it is in a great spot. I feel really blessed and grateful for what I have. And I guess I, I think that the reason I feel so good right now is because I feel like I've earned it and I've worked hard for it. And it's not something that I just got lucky with. I think it's like, I, I, I have to remember, yes, the podcast happened randomly the way I started it and I, it wasn't planned, but I have to give myself some credit. Like I

haven't stopped doing it since I started. Like I put in the work and I guess that's why it feels good just to, um, yeah, I don't know. All right. Happy Monday. I got to end this. Should I check my phone? Fuck it. You know what? I haven't looked at my phone in this entire episode. oh god i gotta delete hinge erin liked you some fucking hinge message i redownloaded it and i'm just like there's nothing here listen to me um do you guys want to know my hinge bios or whatever my i'll tell you what my profile says this is the date kind of like a dating episode so um my most controversial opinion I said Donald Trump is so sexy um it's getting a lot of feedback like whenever someone likes a picture comments on it it's

always to that and then what if I my next one is what if I told you um what if I told you that I podcast seven days a week there's a fun fact and then I geek out on JRE which is like not of it's like when I think about it like that's the what would his show be like for Rogan to me is like it's like going to church I don't know how to explain it it's like I I don't go without it it's I always go back to it it's my ride or die I started listening to him back and fucking what was it what year did I start listening to him 2014 2014 when did I go to college like college I think 2014 ish I don't remember the exact year but I remember I would

literally go on walks like six mile walks listening to a show and haven't stopped since like I feel like I don't know so it's just part so when I what was my answer here I geek out on JRE because yeah I kind of do but I feel like we all do it's just like a nice thing to have in your back pocket like it just put on Rogan and I listened to an amazing conversation it's like the best thing ever so yeah that's like what I got I just have some I have some pics from like I don't know they're just kind of like I should just I should not I just shit on myself every time I post a picture I'm like I just don't know why I posted it I have like anxiety about it I'm like whatever I'm like well I think I look cute when I did it and then I posted it and I'm

insecure um like I'm not the type of person that's like I think I look so great I love taking pictures of myself, like, I think I say that, I mean, I have confidence, right, I'm confident in myself, but at the same time, the, my insecurity is the whole, like, um, am I, is this too much, is this too little, am I coming across inappropriately, appropriately, um, am I just copying what other people do, am I, am I being myself, like, I second guess a lot of the shit I post because I'm like I don't know I just get nervous sometimes but I just posted now I'm at the point where I've I've just kind of thrown in the towel I'm like whatever here's six pictures of my dog I don't care and then a fucking thirst trap and then that's it so those are my answers

on hinge. Um, I have one match. He who shall not be named. Um, and then that's it. And now I just want to delete it, but I don't know. I'm not throwing all my eggs in one basket. I'm just not seeing anything. Like, I remember when I got hinge a couple of years ago, it was like last year it was like every person that came up was like amazing like I was like damn like this is this is a great app and then now I'm just like what's going on it's like everyone went to shit last year and they just have there's no one on I don't know are they on tinder tinder is a fucking wasteland I found a dot it's like finding a diamond and or needle in the haystack on it on Tinder. But when you find it, you know, I'll say when you find it, it's worth it. You just,

you never know. Um, anyways, I just, I'm swiping now. Like I just mindlessly swiping as I'm podcasting. Instagram. Let's see. Oh guys, update. I'm getting a new phone this week. I'm getting the the iPhone 12 because I'm on an iPhone 7 plus it's a joke um it's finally not working and that's how I choose or that's how I decide on getting a new phone that's I've always done that I don't understand what the point of getting a new phone is if your phone still works I drive my shit into the ground like my car is old like it's an old fucking Chevy like I don't want to say what kind of car it is uh or like this type of car but I like use things until the end and I don't like buy I don't like spending money knowing that I don't need to spend it like

I will it make my life better to have the new iPhone not that much like it'll just be it'll just work because my phone right now is like it's glitching the fucking screen it'll just shut off that's what I know like once your phone just randomly starts shutting off when it's fully charged like you're fucked um I've never cracked the screen which is crazy I've never cracked an iPhone screen wait a minute I feel like everyone not everyone I feel like everyone has cracked their iPhone screen no I feel like most people probably have that story I just never I've never done it but um this probably gives them really good with my hands um so I don't know so that's an update new iPhone this week um Jimmy's getting thick I don't want I guys I'm kind of getting

emotional about it I'm kind of getting emotional about his growing um his growth because guys I looked at the pictures when I first got him and he's so tiny he was so little he was so tiny now he's still tiny but he's thick like his gut is getting thick and he's just chunkier now and I'm like he'll never be that little ever again and so I'm cuddling him as much as possible I'm holding him I'm like having as I'm spending as much time with him while he's a puppy as possible like it just makes me depressed I'm like he's only gonna get bigger from here he's gonna be a full-sized dog by the end of this year pretty much full-sized he's gonna be so handsome and so I want to I hope he's really fluffy I hope he's like one of those

goldens it's just like and I his dad was really like his mom and dad were fluffy but it'll be interesting because he was the lightest in the in the litter the lightest golden and the line is golden he's like the classic color golden retriever and then his dad was the reddish gold and then his mom was lighter i think but yeah but anyways does that mean he's an inbreed aren't they only aren't they supposed to breed the same color no the mom and dad like with the pictures and everything like i saw them they were they were the same. I don't know. Um, what were the, the dad's name was, uh, Kobe and the mom's name was Kobe and Maggie. No, I wrote it down. I don't know why I can't remember Kobe and

i think it was maggie something like that but anyways um yeah he's getting big and it's sad and i just but you know what i'll say this he's getting more independent this podcast is so long um must love dogs that's another thing i'm looking for you can't hate you can't be you're if you don't if okay that's such a red flag if like a guy doesn't like animals or has issues with animals I'm like oh you're going to hell you're saying no I like you I don't know I think it says a lot if you I just I don't know but um like how you deal with animals is very important to me like how you treat them says a lot so I don't know but um I was just saying talking about Jimmy oh he's getting more independent when we go outside

like he's getting more curious and he's walking on the leash a lot more confidently so he's not um I don't know I don't know how to explain it he's just like a he's like a big kid he's just like a big kid now like he's got confidence when he's out you know in the grass just he knows what he's doing now instead of like before he was really skittish and he would just kind of like walk around really slow and stand in one spot and now he's kind of going for it going everywhere but it's so cute guys the cutest thing he does probably my favorite thing he does is whenever there's another dog like people walk by with their dog on the leash or it'll be across the street like a dog will be across the street on the sidewalk and he'll run over to me and then

jump up and put his paws on my knees to be held like he's he's like it's so cute he's like scared about the other dogs where I have to hold him so he's okay it's so cute like that is love to a like that is so cute and that's another thing I'll miss like when he's big he'll be barking at them or playing with them and then instead of coming to me he's like a little kid he's like mom, these are strangers. I'm scared. Cause there's obviously there, I feel like it's more so the man or the, like the person walking them is scary to him. Obviously I don't think the dog is. Um, yeah, but I'm just so excited to take him to the dog park and like take him to the beach and fucking like, he loves, he's like, he's already playing fetch. He plays fetch. Like

he gives me the ball back. He gives me the ball back guys. I'm just hanging out with myself at this point I'm just literally just I'm literally just sitting in my kitchen my cushy little lifestyle I did tidy up did I tell you how I felt like my place is a shithole yesterday I finally cleaned up my office area and I like made it I like organized the chaos I didn't get rid of it because I like the clutter the clutter makes me feel um the clutter I feel like the the folders the the the notepads the pens the little paper clips and fucking chapsticks and all that stuff on my um and phone and like cords and chargers it makes me feel like I'm doing well and that I'm busy and that I have um I'm I'm an entrepreneur that is um so busy doing her work that the little

details around her don't really matter and she's so focused on her craft and that's positive so um I feel like it's I'm purposely leaving the shit around me to trick my brain into thinking that for real um it's also just like kind of a vibe like I talked about Andy Andy Rooney's desk yesterday on 60 minutes and how I felt like a professor I feel like a professor when I have a lot of shit on my desk. I feel like a, like, I don't know. It's a vibe. Just like look up Andy Rooney office on Google images. And that's what my apartment or that's my office here. It looks like. Okay. So episode one 58, that's it. Uh, still living the dream, still living the dream. I just guys I love podcasting okay I like it I like talking to you I like podcasting I don't

want to stop this um this is my passion this is what I feel like I'm cut out for I'm supposed to do and it literally gets like I'll say this I haven't had I haven't addressed this in a while i get to this part of the episode and i'm like i don't even want to stop i don't want to stop i just want to go on the internet cruise around look shit up keep talking you know like i just it gets really hard for me at the end to stop and i think that's a good sign because i like it so much but i feel like at some point you just gotta land the plane bitch land the plane land the plane send it to the fucking ground and end the episode bitch um should I recap what I want in a relationship yeah I'm going to I gotta get clear on this before

I end it basically I want to I want to okay what did I say I was like I want to maintain my independence and I want you to maintain yours and we come together and we have deep intellectual conversations and we're best friends and we're not I don't need you you don't need me I'm not clingy you're not gonna hear from me all day long I'm not gonna be all up in your business and I don't want the same from you but I definitely want you to take the lead and be in charge. I just don't want like clinginess about it. Um, I want to, what else did I say? I feel like, um, I want to be in love with you, but I don't want to think about you all day. However that works. Um, I just like want to, how does, why did I say that? I was like, I like the idea

of just not having my brain I don't want to have someone consume my brain and and lose I don't I'm just afraid of like losing I don't know because I've been in a situation before where I literally lost my identity in the relationship because I all like all I did was think about them and their needs and everything like about everything was about them it was so unbalanced where or imbalanced where i i literally lost myself and so i think moving forward i'm like kind of afraid of that again i want to be like in the driver's seat of my life and have my and be like busy with my own shit and then we come together when it makes sense and then yeah and then we go on adventures together and then we fucking um I don't know yeah I want an adventure buddy I definitely need that

I need someone to like drag me out and take me out on cool adventures just like someone with I need a great oh my god please be a good listener because I talk a lot and I want you to like listening to me talk a lot because it's gonna happen and it like that is so annoying to me I was dating this guy what was it like last year yeah it was last year and um I this sent me it it was so frustrating when I heard this he's like we were sitting on the couch together and this is like when we first started dating and he's like it seems like you uh like push and pull away and you push and pull away and you are overthinking this whole thing and he said it in a way that made me go fuck you

like this is who I am let me be me this is how I act this is how I think this is how I like I'm not when I'm first dating you I'm not just gonna be a fucking leech I'm not gonna just like swarm you and I feel like that's what he wanted or something or he was so like put off by me kind of pushing and pulling it and not being like fully um I don't know I think because I like my space I like um not having to I don't know like we don't have to hang out every single day like it's like I feel like what's so what's a bad sign to me is if you let's say you go on a date with a guy and then you end up like staying at his place or you don't the first time but then you do like so then the next day you're with him again and then you're like with each other for multiple

days. And then I hate when a relationship starts like that. I just like, even, it doesn't matter how much I like you. I don't think it's healthy to do that at first. I think you need to just have some sort of restraint and control. Cause it's a bad sign. If a guy's like, I just want to see you again. I just want to see you again. I just want to see you again. I just want to see you again. I get turned off by that. I'm like, I will literally want you to not, I don't want to think that you're I I don't know I don't know I just don't feel I I like space I guess I don't know did I ever tell you guys about the guy I met I was on a date oh my god this is so bad this was like oh my gosh guys this is a worst first date story let me just tell it it's gonna

be a long episode I don't care Monday night just fuck it whatever who's even listening at this point I feel like someone you guys are all tuned out if you're still listening holy shit so what was it I think it was January last year or like end of 2019 yeah I I went out to this bar where I used to live and the bouncer there was really like I was talking to him and then his friend came over and then his friend was like really hot and I was like talking to him and I really really liked him like I hadn't he was just a really kind guy like I he was really um you wouldn't he looked like a typical like just like from the from a distance you might be like oh that guy's probably a douchebag but when he was talking to me he was

really like kind and sweet and uh I don't know we just like we had a great conversation I literally didn't walk in the bar I was just at the door with a bouncer and his friend just talking the whole time. And we ended up exchanging numbers. And then, um, I didn't like hang out with him that night or I didn't really see him after that. I just, um, like that was it. I think he like left with his friends or something. And then I just like went off and hung out with my friends in the bar. But, um, anyways, so wait, what am I doing this story for? It gets worse. So anyways, we had made plans like a couple weekends after to go meet up again and at the same bar because it's like the only one in like that's just where I don't know like we thought it was like close to

my house like whatever so he ends up ghosting me doesn't show up we had made plans for a certain time and there's this guy like he is the epitome of a california surfer bro like super tan blonde hair blue eyes like just like to a t california boy like beach boy and um and i'm like this is the thing about me I don't know why I always talk to like the whenever I'm out I'm always with the I'm always talking to the fucking like bouncer people the bartenders like the people that work there I always end up in that crowd like because you know what it is I feel like because they're sober like or well for the most part like they're just you know doing their job and sometimes I'm just like more interested in I don't know they're like funny and cool like a lot of the times I

don't know so I ended up I was just like waiting for my date right I was like waiting for the guy to show up and I was texting him he like wasn't responding to anything um and I gave him a ton of time like I'm I'm like I'm like okay well I know people here I can just hang out and then you'll show up but after I gave him like the 15 minute grace period I'm like what the fuck's happening so then I just I was just like all right you're not showing up cool and he literally texted me that day that he was gonna you know like we had talked right before I went there so I don't know what happened but um long story short I ended up seeing him that night but not it's weird so I'm sitting there just like talking the bouncers just hanging out at the bar um

you know I'd gone there a lot I like knew I kind of just knew people it's a small town where I used to live and all of a sudden this that surfer dude bro is like hey like what's up my name's I'll just call him Brad it's definitely not his name but he's like hey I'm Brad like what's up and like he immediately went like full force gonna propose to you I want to date you you're my dream woman I could just tell he's like and of course he's drinking but he's like hi my name's Brad I just want to say you're really beautiful and I'm just getting this um energy from you that you're a really good woman and would be a great mother he's like going off about like all my qualities he just assumed I had and he and he's like you know what's up like what and I just told

him like hey I'm just like waiting on my date he's like the guy's not showing up like he's just telling me like that guy's an idiot he's never coming just you know how about we go he's like how about we go down to the beach because the beach is right there he's like what do you say we go out on the beach you know the it's the moon's out tonight why don't we just go walk on the beach and talk and get to know each other and I'm just like fuck me and I was there with friends like I live close by I just like went by myself to meet up this guy because it's like literally walking distance from my old apartment so um he was like the stage five clinger from the first sentence and so I don't even know what happened but I ended up meeting with his friends

and and all of him like I ended up staying with him somehow and we went back to his apartment and we were up for so long just like I I met so his friends are cool so I was like okay whatever I'll just kind of like hang out with everyone. Cause, um, it was fun. You know, it was like, he was kind of like clingy and everything, but I just kind of gave him the stiff arm the whole time kind of. And I was just not, cause I wasn't into him. It was like immediately I wasn't, I knew I was like already bummed about the guy that stood me up. And then here's this new guy just being annoying. And, you know, I wasn't really feeling it. Right. So long story short, um, we go back to his place and then the guy I was supposed to go on a date with shows up

and he's there with like two of his buddies they were at some other party and this asshole he's like acting like he doesn't know me and I'm like what's going on here and then the the guy that I met that night this the Brad dude was being all like weird and protective because you know he knew that so-and-so had not showed up on the date with me and so he's being like dude bro what the fuck like this she's a great girl how could you do that she's a great girl like all that kind of stuff and then I don't know it was like a weird night that we ended up just hanging out all together and it was like we weirdly made it was like fine I don't know and this is what I'm saying about staying with someone like multiple days. Oh, and my, there is like girls there too. Like there's

just a bunch of people. So I ended up staying all night there. And then the next morning we like kept drinking and people were like going to work. It was like weird. I don't even know. I had no clue who these people were. I just need to go home. Right. But he's like, Oh, like, um, we ended up getting oh this is like the worst move don't ever I just should not have done this I was like he's like trying to tell me that um he wanted to do all he okay so it was like the night so we literally stayed up all night and watched like fucking Christmas movies like rom-coms Christmas movies and I'm just sitting there like I'm stuck like I mean I could leave I could uber home but this is kind of funny so I'll just stay around this is around Christmas time yeah we were

watching like Christmas movies and then um uh what happened the next day he's like oh well oh my god he bought me roses oh my god okay so he gone he went to the store to get breakfast I think and then he came back with like a bouquet of roses and then he's like I tell you tell you what I know you want to get out of this you know I want I know you need a shower and a change of clothes and, you know, before we go and, um, get, get lunch. Cause so we had, he brought breakfast and then he's like, well, now we're going to get lunch. He's like, before we go, how about I just like, we go back to your apartment, I'll drive you home, you get all cleaned up. And then, you know, I will, uh, we'll go out to this, uh, brewery

this like place close by and uh we'll get some lunch and hang out and I don't even know why but I fucking did it I don't know why I don't know why and guys we ended up kissing at one point I don't even know where that came from but um this guy had me sucked in for like what was it two days straight I don't think I got home till like 8 p.m on the second day and it was it was this dumb thing where I was like I think that was when I was just being too nice and I was just like I don't know it got to the point though where I was just like along for the ride and I was like ready to tell the story someday and I think that's what I'm doing so um but anyways the whole point of me saying this was I just don't I hate when you're you meet someone and it's just like a

whirlwind multiple days in a row and you're just like caught up in each other's like it's you're just sucked into a vortex with them. And I hate that. I just like, I like slow. I like distance. I like independence. I like, you know, we're going to do this together and then we're going to live our lives and we're going to come back. And I feel like that's how I want to date someone. I don't want to be just like sucked in like that. The whole fucking, I can just, I'm getting this energy from you. You're just like a great woman. And you know, there's a lot of girls here, but I can just how there's something different about you and you know all that bullshit so oh I'm getting a patreon message right now patreon.com slash tjms um anyways all right that's it I don't know what

now I'm embarrassed by that story what does that say about me that's so me two years ago like I just I was in like a phase of dating where I just did a lot of it and I it was like quant it was like quantity over quality just for the sport kind of like I just need to get out go on dates meet people see what I like see what I don't like I'm not I don't have to get tied down to anything but it was that was the most tragic or like that was the type of experience where I was like I just wasted two days of my life for someone that has no respect for like he has no awareness that I don't know I just I don't know guys never again um all right so happy Monday let's have a great week and uh hit that subscribe button and follow me on Instagram

head over to patreon.com slash tjms to get all that bonus content I talk about the extra videos some pictures and phone calls, shout outs on Friday. It's like the TJMS gang. I don't know that the diehards, the fans, whatever you want to call it. Um, so yeah, patreon.com slash TJMS. That's it. That was a long one. Um, I had to squeeze that last story out for some reason. Now I'm self-conscious and embarrassed by it, but Hey, fuck it I did it I can't undo it I don't edit this so bye love you guys have a great day bye