The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 177- Sundaycast: She's Drowsy

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS ROBMON: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2d4jPCnnODLVsSNOWJorAy?si=0yxA6iagSAW0uOfIudovGw&nd=1 https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Sunday. It's episode 177. Welcome back to the show. all right real quick check-in for sunday's episode hi it's Jacqueline I totally forgot to record today I'm ready for bed it's 9 41 p.m on a school night on a work excuse me on a work night work a day before working what the what am I saying um and I was like oh my gosh how did I skip podcasting like I totally forgot today which is odd usually it's the one of the first things I get done so um anyways hi click check in I decided to leave my retainer in um is this annoying should I take it out uh disgusting guys honestly I was like maybe it'll feel more like you're with me if you're getting ready for

bed with me tonight listening to the show and then like I'm wearing my retainer my hair's wet I just showered and like I have a hair mask in it's all braided I have a peel-off mask in progress and then I have my microphone on top so it's looking like a self-care Sunday night and that's what's up my puppy is in a fetal position um alongside of me I just got done mopping my entire apartment uh I don't know should I just walk you through my day it's Sunday let me tell you guys what I did so and if you're new like normally I'm okay this is my audio diary so today's a very uh today's like a check-in like I'm on a phone call letting you know what I did and then it's like dear diary today I did this goodbye um so anyways let's see I woke

up guys the coffee the pre-making the espresso shots the night before is working so well so I've done that for two days now and as you know so I did my Q&A Q&A I did my Q&A yesterday but the day before I set out like I set out completely new goals for myself and like new because I feel like I'm approaching a funk like I'm gonna get into a funk if I continue these patterns I'm in so I broke it up on Friday and I said no I want to start correcting certain things so I'm more successful and I'm and I'm having a better um day-to-day like routine with myself because it's been chaotic and I haven't been sleeping and it's it's annoying like it takes me six minutes to make my coffee in the morning but Jimmy has to shit so then I have to make it and like he's on the leash

he's trying to go outside but I have to make my coffee first so I've been pre-making my coffee dude girl chill uh guys my my neighbors uh just got done raging they were partying all day today and there was like music all night and I'm just like I'm so glad it's over um because it it was like I got used to it at one point I just I had to like think about hearing it because I was constantly hearing it so I zoned out to I zoned out to it but now I'm really I'm really noticing how serene it is now that their music is off anyway so yeah I woke up this morning pulled my coffee out of the fridge walk Jimmy um that was convenient you know I decided to make him the night before so it's a pull it out of the fridge thing instead of grind my beans because

I have a barista I have a Breville barista express like a you have to pull the shots to make your coffee. It's not a quick process. I mean, coffee usually is a, it's like a medium fast activity, unless you're pulling a cold brew out of the fridge or something or energy drink. It's a, it takes a minute to brew your coffee. So it's been working. I pull my coffee out. I get my headphones in. I play a podcast. I played a Andy Frisella. Um, what's his latest podcast called? I feel like he changed the name of it. Is it real AF? It used to be the mfceo project yeah now it's called real af right yeah it was like him and his guys all talking about um the coca-cola thing i've talked about like the mr potato head thing and and cancel

culture and they're just going in and i listened to that while i was walking jimmy having my sunday morning coffee um oh my god oh my god i'm lying to you guys right now oh my gosh i'm completely fucking this up so holy shit okay so okay so if I say okay so one more time delete this app and never listen to me again okay so I just did it I just did it this morning i heard a mouse peeping around my floor uh but when i say a mouse i mean jimmy he emerged from underneath the bed and he wanted to come lay with me and i thought it was around 6 6 a.m when he did this but it was i checked my phone it was 4 a.m so he came up and cuddled at 4 a.m. and then I fell asleep and then I naturally woke up with the birds chirping and the sun rising

around like 6 30 so I was awake then I scrolled on my phone for 30 minutes and then I fell asleep from 7 to 10 a.m. so anyways guys when I say like I woke up grab my coffee on my morning walk listen to my podcast listen to Annie Vercel and like that happened around 10 it happened around like 11 no well 10 30 yeah so I had a really late start today and then not only did I sleep until 10 I so I walked Jimmy I did laundry and then I fucking slept I came home I watched two episodes of Ozark and then I napped for like two and a half hours I think it was yeah two and a half hours and then I woke up from that I like brought him outside ordered dinner I ordered like a Sunday roast for myself like I ordered pot roast mashed potatoes like roasted carrots and shit and like

I don't know I was just feeling lazy and I ate dinner and then kept watching Ozark and now I'm podcasting and I got ready for bed I don't know guys is this a fucking train wreck like are you still here hi knock knock um it was a very weird day because I never sleep in that late but it was a type of sleep in where I went this is for all of the days like I've been getting I've told you guys this before and here's the thing here's the thing it's psychotic it's effing psychotic I don't want to swear it's effing psychotic that um I've got your attention right now discussing my sleeping schedule and my sleeping patterns and my it's psychotic that like this is an attention this is attention grabbing like people are interested in this kind of shit it doesn't make sense like

I told you about my coffee and walking my dog and listening to a podcast like for some reason there's an audience for that out there and I know I'm one of those people who likes to listen to people say basic life shit like what kind of cereal they eat and what kind of um you know shows they watch and shit like who it's just I'm just I'm there I'm fucking there for you I'm there for you so if you want to know what's up I slept in till 10 right but I realized that all of these days I've been getting four and a half five five and a half hours of sleep have been piling up and I've never slept in like I haven't had a full sleep I haven't slept all the way in like that uh in a super long time so anyways I realized like my

body was so tired it was like at 6 30 I woke up when I normally do but then I was like impossible for me to get out of bed I was like I have to sleep in so it felt good uh I like sleeping in on Saturdays. I like college football games. Wait, what song is that? I love sleeping in on Saturdays. And I love college football games. Is this copyright? He's asleep. That's great. So anyways, um, he said so anyways, again, fuck. I'm trying to think of anything else to update I kind of told you guys a scary story not really scary but I told you guys about the guy that approached me that sketched me out yesterday and today I didn't see him I didn't feel weird walking Jimmy for the most part it was like out of he was just it was out

of sight out of mind I wasn't really hyper I was like thinking about it as I I thought about him a little bit but not in a paranoid way uh go I told the story at the end of yesterday's episode so check it out but I feel safe I'm fine I mean I'm fine typical typical typical tip tip tip of the tongue on the top typical girl phrase I'm fine uh when I'm when I say I'm fine I'm not fine but when I am fine I say I'm fine and I am fine so decipher that boys how does that work so it's either I'm actually fine or I'm not but you'll never know what else did I do today um I guess something I'll summarize about this weekend was my ability to I I am proud of the I am proud of my attention span I'm I am proud of my ability to lay on my

couch and watch multiple episodes of Ozark in a row without ever checking my phone or wanting to and I think what I'm when I told you guys how I'm restructuring my uh life on Friday I was like I need to get my shit together I don't want to get in a funk um something I didn't consider is the weekend and I didn't consider how I really want my weekends to feel like weekends now I'm gonna to be really selfish about my weekends because typically I work typically I don't do weekend activities or like mentally think I'm at the weekend where I could just lay around all day and watch tv and I feel like I need to do that I'm not good at resting and not thinking about doing and getting something done and you know the podcast doesn't even it doesn't even fall

in that category of like work and shit because it's like a hobby this is like I just brush my teeth it's like this is like brushing my teeth I jump on every day and I say hi and then you know that's it but I realized that I was really proud and I feel good foot fucking a fuck fuck dude she's tired it's almost 10 um can't say a sentence to save her life I just feel good about resting this weekend and I don't feel bad for not working and I I don't usually I'm like, oh, you know, sleep when you're, sleep when you're dead, grind, grind, grind, and I have all these DMs and emails and shit, and I'm just like, I'm not even, I'm out, I'm off, I'm, I'm not working, I'm not answering a DM, I'm not looking at anything until Monday,

and that feels good, I'm taking my power back, I'm taking control of my life, and this week's gonna be awesome, because I just, I just mopped my floors, I just mopped my floors, did I already say this I don't even remember what I started the episode out with other than me removing my retainer like a jackass but uh I might have already said this why do I feel like I'm repeating myself uh I wiped my floors down after I got ready for bed and immediately I feel like it's going to be the best week ever because my floors are shiny Jimmy's I brush Jimmy super well I've wiped so the new thing I do is I scrub the hell out of his feet after we come inside so I feel like he's it's hard like when you have a dog you bring him outside to walk and shit in the city it's like

he's gonna get dirty but I haven't been wiping his paws off at all and he's like in my bed laying on my pillows tracking all that shit inside I'm not even thinking about it it finally hit me I'm like wait that's probably why my floors are so grimy is because he's in mud he's in grass he's out on the sidewalk and anyways um but yeah I'm like I'm starting to get on top of it guys I really feel like I'm starting to take my power back in my apartment and cleaning it and I just feel like there's like no dishes my coffee I already made my espresso for tomorrow morning uh you know Jimmy's been brushed he's been cleaned I've been cleaned I'm fully shaved it feels amazing I've like everything is perfect right now I just feel excited for tomorrow

um I wrote in my planner so I have all my shit ready for the week like my goals um dude today Jimmy and I went to the dog park and we met a Jack Russell Terrier named Taz and we met is it a Bernie's I think a Bernie's is that what they're called Bernie's anyways he met a couple dogs it was fun we kind of went around the um can't say where I went but I just don't want to say where I'm going it's like San Diego is kind of a it's San Diego is it's kind of a small town especially when you get outside of the main city and you go to the small pockets like I run into people all the time so anyways um he met some dogs he's getting more confident on the leash um i did laundry i'm trying to think i was overhearing a lot of chatter by

my fellow laundromat friends they were you know i was just listening into the conversation basically about how it felt so good to hear pedestrians people like strangers bitch in the same way i bitch about current events and coronavirus and vaccines and fucking california and like all this shit they're just going off and these were like uh there's like a younger dude around my age who's slightly hot but it's like hard to tell because everyone was wearing a mask he's like my age and then this older woman i think she runs the laundromat there's like another dude who's old kind of like a 60 some year old they're going off and I kind of wanted to join the conversation but I just I don't know it was great so when I say that what

we see on the internet doesn't match our reality there's a great example like all of this fucking bullshit about coronavirus that we've been sold for so long and the fear and all this crap around it is whenever i'm out in the streets like it's a rare occasion that i come across someone who's like a hypochondriac freaking out about it most people are over it they're fucking done they're pissed off and they're sick of it so and that goes for everything else especially like the race issues i don't see it in real life i don't see it uh it's all to be honest It's not, I'm not saying it's fake. It's just all virtual. All of the dramatic, all of the dramatics exist online, but they don't really exist in person. Like people to people. I don't

know. Most interactions are good. It's not a war out there. Like they sell it to us. So anyways, and I just might've been in a conservative part of town. I don't fucking know. I don't care. um dude can i be the spearhead soldier of the fucking get mr potato head back movement should i start an instagram account for that wait i've i want to have i want to do something viral this year that's that's stupid like i don't want to be i don't want to go viral for like something normal i want to go i i want to do something out there and i feel like if i started like i want to make t-shirts i want there to be protests i want people to go to play school headquarters that's the company that changed mr i want to like get him back like we're

like he's been kidnapped and i think we should get pixar involved because of toy story and should i start an instagram account for this who's pissed because i'm pissed um i want my children to grow up with a mr potato head and not a vintage one that we had to fucking fork out a lot of money for because i don't have those are gonna be expensive as fuck in the future and like i want to go to walmart and i want to buy a mr potato head within the next i feel like in the next decade when i have a child and i want to buy my kid a fresh mr potato head what the fuck so those are my thoughts um what else is oh i saw that donald trump was talking today i don't even know why and apparently like the president has two months after the inauguration

to give the state of the union speech or whatever and biden hasn't done that yet and it's February 28th wait is it two months after the election or one month I don't know what is that state of the union let me type it in dude I need to get it's 9 59 so it's like to hang out with me after I got ready for bed like thinking about my day I'm thinking about current events thinking about Mr. Potato Head what is state of state of the union messages message from the president or okay usually given once a year in january or february in the message the president talks so fuck it's almost march is march tomorrow wait is it a 28th feb this year or 29th feb this year how many days are in feb

oh fuck wait oh shit Biden boy boy fuck boy boy dude man uh you got one day today's it wait a minute wait a minute Trump spoke wait a minute guys time out tomorrow am I getting that right tomorrow is March 1st okay so and it says usually given once a year in january january and february so i don't think it's like a hard set time that this happens but why did trump speak on the last day the did biden give it i'm just not even hold on biden state of the Union. Okay. Oh, fact check. State of the Union has no annual requirement. Okay. Fact check. I like, so USA Today says President Joe Biden was supposed to deliver a State of the Union addressed by February 20th. Okay. So why didn't he? So anyways, everyone's like, oh, Biden hasn't

said shit, but Trump did a speech today. What's, what's the fuck's going on? What did Trump talk about? I'm just looking it up. Cause I saw people say he gave a speech. Oh, CNN fact check. Trump delivers a lie filled CPAC speech. Cool. What's CPAC? See, I'm so out of, I don't know what's happening. Um, uh, there's all these like phrases he said, and then they're all, um, wrong apparently. Oh, the fact checkers are like false, false, false. So what is CPAC? Why don't I know what CPAC is are you guys bored are you guys learning with me conservative political action conference oh okay so cool he spoke at a conference um CNN's headlines oh my god I'm just gonna go to cnn.com what are they saying it's all gonna be negative about Trump they finally can talk about

him again yes CNN here we go Trump delivers CPAC speech with uh filled with lies okay um um I saw another headline shit Trump unleashes new threat to American democracy I don't know dude it's just such a weird world um am I coming down I am I should end this because I'm kind of just quiet and calm and um you know what I gotta do this more often I gotta show you guys this version of me because like the nature of doing a podcast every day is okay what am I saying um you see a lot of me going off and being obnoxious but because I don't have a time a set time that I do this sometimes it's at night sometimes it's in the morning when I'm on I'm cracked out on caffeine and I have a lot to say but I feel like I need to give you guys more

calm energy to balance out what I've given you in the past like what I've given you so far um because damn she's got multi I'm a multi-faceted person I'm not just one I'm not a bulldozer all the time um especially not tonight I just feel like being a calming soothing voice for you talking about I don't even know I think I did it I think I finished telling you about my day and talked about Mr. Potato Head I really think that that could be a thing right I'm pissed I should look up if there's like I should look up if that's already being done and then see what kind of usernames i could find on instagram for to create like a support page for mr potato head like a it's like child trafficking i take it as serious like my

he has been trafficked he has been he has been um kidnapped and d he's been dismembered his masculinity has been dismembered i don't even know what the technical terminology is and he is no longer is there just one potato head now wait i really need to figure this out honestly wait mr potato head okay i don't want that enter news come on news so mr potato cnn oh my god dude this is their headline cnn mr potato head is the latest weapon in the fox news culture wars

my favorite woke words are like uh weapon and dangerous this is dangerous for society this is a weapon it's like not a weapon you know oh shit it can conversations about mr potato head and trans kids or whatever the culture war narrative is are a huge distraction what I'm not really starting at the beginning of that paragraph so sorry I don't know like I'm trying to figure out is there a Mrs. Potato Head still and a gender neutral one is that what it is so hold on it gets a gender gender neutral name okay here we go the classic spud shaped plastic toy is getting a new gender neutral name just

plain oh it's called potato head see i should have looked that up ahead of time sorry it's called potato head is there a mrs still like that's what i'm trying to figure out culture has evolved okay whatever the fuck kids want to be able to represent their own experiences the way the brand currently exists with the mr and miss mr and mrs is limiting when it comes to both gender identity and family structure go fuck yourself some cheered the woke change while others called it a half-baked to label vegetable non-binary mr potato head will always be a potato hasbro can't take away the genitals of a spud that never had any of them to begin with oh my fucking god okay

so i guess it's potato head and mrs potato head while we're remaining the mr okay while we're renaming the mr potato head brand to potato head to better reflect the full line the iconic mr and mrs potato head characters aren't going anywhere and will remain Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. The new product we announced today, Create Your Own Potato Head Family, is a kit that includes enough potatoes and accessories for kids to create all types of families. Oh, shit. So they're still making him? I don't know. I thought he was gone. I thought he was done. anyways okay I feel like I just dude I'm in a loop of weird uh tangents right now

and I need to end it so happy Sunday I got 20 it's 10 away I have 22 minutes until I have to be lights out I'm uh parenting myself once again finally being disciplined about sleep and um so yeah happy sunday thanks for being here i hope you had a great weekend hit that subscribe button i'll be here tomorrow look it's not all uh it's not all it's not always exciting on the show it's not always worth your time okay go into this daily listening knowing that you might feel dumber after you listen to it than when you started but like than before you might go away dumber than before you see this is making you feel dumb because I can't even get that I'm being dumb I can't even get the sentence

out you're gonna feel dumb after you finish this episode and that's sometimes that's okay because like that is I think it's good for you to zone out to nonsense because you might be in your head all day being uh mean to yourself you might be in your head all day thinking about shit you got to do in your job but so it's actually this might actually be helping you even though you might feel stupid But after, you're definitely zoned out right now to a complete, it's like a symphony of fucking her life updates and ideas that do not make sense sometimes and that get odd. And it's like ASMR, you know? It doesn't make sense. You just watch it anyways, and that's what this is.

this is mental asmr i am soothing you in the most like think about that if you're listening because sometimes like at night if i just want to chill and listen to a podcast like i'm in the shower i don't want to be force-fed self-help shit you know i just want to i just want to chill so that's what this episode is it's a chill one and and that's what sometimes the show is all about and I can't thank you enough for being here today why the fuck did I just do that dude I did the retainer thing in the beginning I did the retainer thing in the beginning and then I just did that my neighbors are back their dog is so ugly and it barks so loud I would never buy an ugly dog like what's the point of that it's like not even like it doesn't

even this type of dog I'm describing I don't even know what it's called because I think it's it's like a chihuahua with long legs but also a terrier but also a greyhound but it's got like a fluffy tail it doesn't make sense and it's ugly as shit and it squeaks when it barks and it's like it was probably a rescue um that's good for society and good for dogs that are guys why am I doing this right now end the episode bitch uh but it's like if you're gonna have a dog like don't you want to think it's cute right i'm just i'm just uh what's it called feeling better better than other people with my golden retriever now and it's getting to my head um i don't lie to people about their dogs like i'm not like oh it's so cute it's fucking ugly you and i both know this

is not on the cute list of breeds this is on the this is on the uh oh they're they're fucking wiry and they're crazy but we kind of love them for it and they're kind of it's fun to like make fun of them because they're so weird looking like we just you have the type of dog that you own that dog because you like body shaming it and making fun of how crazy it is and how like psycho it barks and shit and like it's tiny and it's spindly and yeah so it says a lot about you as a dog owner all in the eye of the beholder and I will leave you with that all in the eye of the beholder it's like I took some medication and I didn't that's where I'm at right now I'm that tired I'm just like, I had a Dr. Pepper, excuse me, no, I had a Zevia, a root beer Zevia, alongside of my pot roast, roast dinner thing tonight, I got from a local restaurant, and they do say when you're driving tired, it's the same as driving drunk, and now I get it, because I'm their bitch, I'm fucking like that tired, I feel drunk, okay.

Have a super awesome day and anyways I'll talk to you tomorrow. That's it. Bye guys!