The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 183- Saturdaycast: Q&A #21

Episode Date: March 8, 2021

Happy Saturday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

Hey guys, happy Saturday. It's episode 183. Welcome back to the show! okay i'm combining cream soda zevia with with fucking Woodford Reserve right now. Say a prayer for my brain cells and this episode. Hi guys, it's Jacqueline. I haven't had a drink in probably like over a month now and I just feel like doing it for this Q&A and I know I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and it's gonna be a shit show and I'm gonna have a headache but I don't give a fuck. Let's do a podcast. Honestly, I just feel like a Q&A is a great time to get a little drink in the system so hi welcome back to the show hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week and yeah every Saturday I do a Q&A this is number

21 I want to jump right into it you guys ask me a lot of questions um yeah so yeah okay first question first off I hope you guys are having a great day I always like to mention that consider your feelings and consider that you're here too. It's not all about me. Um, but yeah, I hope you're doing well. Uh, yeah, fucking let's get into it. So first question, when are you releasing merch? Um, fuck. So, uh, I think I've talked about this a little bit, but thumb braces and phone hammocks are, they're going to be released around spring 2022, spring 2022, because I have this vision for myself that I will actually try hard after one year. So then next September will be the one year, excuse me, this September will be the one

year. And then once that day hits, I'll be like, okay, now I'm going to promote my podcast. Now I'm going to make merch. Now I'm going to try hard. This whole first year is like, I still got the training wheels on. I don't care about any of that stuff. So yeah, I'm thinking like next spring thumb braces will come out phone hammocks will come out and you're like what are you fucking talking about I'm not I'm not making a hoodie I'm not making a t-shirt that's not I just feel like I want to I want to give you guys something useful and I think thumb braces are going to be uh trendy coming up here in the next decade and then I'd like to create a phone hammock for the times of your day that you're like, fuck you phone. You're ruining my life. I'm depressed.

I have anxiety because I'm on social media all day. So I'm going to put you to bed right now and you're going to take a nap and then you'll put your phone in a designated hammock that symbolizes you're not having screen time. So, you know, right now they're in development in a Chinese factory. I'm trying to find the least abusive factory in China right now. And it's really fucking hard. Um, you know, that place is full of concentration, concentration camps and shit and so i don't know i don't know if i want to make it in the u.s or china but i feel like it's easier to do china so i don't know that's kind of where i'm at without the the merch uh thumb braces and phone hammocks coming out spring 2022 let's get into it all right

um am i drunk first sip she's already drunk this is what happens when you don't drink gonna fucking mother i'm gonna drink the plain zevia dude i'm addicted to zevia i feel like i'm reliving the uh i say the like i'm fucking shakespeare do you guys notice that when you're saying the and the you'll all of a sudden be like the i let me get back to what i was saying sorry uh dude i feel like i'm back to december at my mom's house for a month drinking diet coke like water. And I, and I'm back in that soda addiction with Zevia right now. And I don't like myself about it or I hate myself for it because I know that it's not probably, I don't know, fuck it. It tastes good. So, uh, um, better than Diet Coke, right? And I, I don't fuck with Coca-Cola now.

Um, no, you shouldn't, you shouldn't cancel a, well, okay. I don't want to go on to that tangent. okay I hate this episode okay next question what is the most random thing in your apartment uh fuck looking around um I have a lot of weird shit I live in a so I live in a dollhouse but it's like a it's a den I live in a den dollhouse whatever that combo in your brain like imagine that in your brain so it's like a man cave den meets uh like a american girl doll house because i'm an american girl i'm america's sweetheart i podcast every day i'm trying to become a household name i want everyone to know me as like the girl next door jock monroe she's like my best friend she's my girlfriend she's down to earth she's cool i'm an american girl

american girl doll and i live in a dollhouse slash den and i feel like the most random thing i have in here is a tiny fox fur I'm looking at it right now I own a fox fur oh it's like a hand-me-down from an ex-boyfriend it just kind of ended up with me one of those situations yeah he's cute he doesn't have a name um he or she rest in peace yeah it's a tiny fox fur I also am looking around I have a fucking like deck of Seinfeld cards Seinfeld cards I have a marble maze I have this wooden marble maze that I found at a thrift store for five dollars and I want it like I get made fun of whenever I go home my mom thinks I'm reverting back to like my like being a kid like I'm having a Benjamin Button phase right now where or whatever where I'm I act like I act I act young

and childish for whatever reason now and so I found myself at a thrift store during 2020 when I was depressed like I think it was one of those weekends where I'm like Jacqueline you you haven't left your apartment in five days go on a little road trip up up the coast go to your favorite thrift store just like get out you know so I found myself in this thrift store with this wooden marble maze and it's so cool it's like it has a little crank on it and then it's like it reminds me of the game mouse trap that you have to like build and then the trap at the very end like covers the mouse or whatever the fuck so you you crank the little wooden maze and then the marbles go around it over and over and over and over again and I just sat there and played with it for

like a good 30 fucking minutes and i bought it and then i felt less depressed and then i now i still have that so that's probably to answer your question the most random thing i have in my apartment um i don't know what's in my drawer in front of me pelican hill newport beach deck of cards i don't fucking know what that is i have carmex i don't know this is like normal stuff this isn't very random. I'll move on to the next question. So next question, when is your mom visiting? Um, hi, my mom is visiting this Friday. Actually, she's flying into town for the weekend to see me and hang out. We're going to go on a little road trip and we're going to go, my mom's boyfriend's going to be here. So we're going to go out to dinner with him. We're going to have like

a nice little girls weekend and she's going to meet Jimmy and I'm sure I'll get her on the podcast. So I know she'll want to do it. And I think the last interview I did was with her back in Washington. So mama J she's coming. Mama Jody. Is that what you guys call her? Mama J. What do you guys call her? Someone made a great little nickname for her. Mama Jo. Yeah. So she'll be here this Friday. Um, Oh, follow-up question that are you ever doing guests? Am I ever doing guests on this show again it's back what I said in the beginning like this first year is all about me like finding myself doing my daily diary on the show talking it out and then I feel like the confidence is gonna come as I do it where I'll be like okay this sounds fucking stupid the thing is

is I don't have a social life or friends to interview and I fucking don't want to set up a zoom interview or phone call or whatever over the internet with someone that is cool that I should have on the show like I don't know I'm being lazy about it to be honest uh and also I just don't like if I had a gang if I was in a squad I would be like girls let's get on the podcast let's have a let's chit chat about like girl stuff and like I totally do that but I personally don't uh live that life right now and it's it's just not on the table right I do want to do guests in the future regularly where it will be a piece like I think if I was to do this fucking seven days a week I haven't by the way reflected on that like after year one do I pivot and do I go five days

a week do I do one a week but in my brain if I continue to do the daily thing maybe every Friday I'll do a guest so once a week I'd have one that's like what my brain uh envisions right now but I don't know what are your guys what are your thoughts by the way I want to again consider that you're here too what are your thoughts about me drowning out your fucking inbox every day with my show like I feel like because I'm subscribed to my own podcast on Apple and Spotify so I see like i see my inbox with my show all the time to like imagine what it's like as a listener to see my you know like the daily thing and the daily episodes come in so i don't know like is it fuck like i'm honestly at this point with myself where i'm like i every day is the same my life is pretty routine

if you tune into the show every day it's you're gonna you're gonna hear the same shit all the time. And if you're, if you've been a listener since the beginning, I get how like, it's probably not that interesting anymore. Like I, I, I shouldn't volunteer that up and speak for you and think for you. But like, I think if I was to listen to someone talk about their life every single day, it would get so redundant. And then like, that's, I don't know if I need, the fact of the matter is I don't listen I don't really like I'll listen here and there if I get insecure about something I said especially about boys and dating and I'll be like oh fuck I just totally uh said something wrong like I want to listen and then I uh post it anyways I don't edit

so I'm like well now I know what I said if I ever get confronted I can like remember it better so um but anyways yeah what do you think about like how are you doing seeing my fucking face stare you in the eye like I have my podcast cover photo is like it was inspired by Ben Shapiro when I made it I was like looking at my um the podcast I've subscribed to and I was like who's like stands out to me out of all the covers like who's really making an impact here when I when I was scrolling through my inbox and Ben Shapiro just stares you right in the eyes and in his photo it's a close-up shot of his face and it's it's simple simple cover simple logo and I'm like that's it so I found the most like stare down what like what am I saying those eye contact

eye contact depiction that I have on my camera roll and I fucking made that my profile my podcast cover and then I never changed it I never changed my bio I think it's still a podcast by me for you like that's the bio and uh that was a big step for me to not edit and change my this is not the Q&A anymore this is just me thinking thoughts sorry should I take another drink to break this up wait I want the I want the alcohol yeah oh that's fucking good together I know it's weird but cream soda zevia with a little Woodford Reserve we can fucking you got a drink so and I'm using my um it was like a re-gifted to me freezer with whiskey glass with a little rubber bottom on it it's cool keeps it it keeps the glass

cold you know but anyways a big step for me was to like never or to not second guess my podcast in the beginning and try to change the cover and the logo a bunch of times like I just committed it to the first design I just said fuck it so back to your question about guests yeah someday all right um next question how many goldfish have you killed how many goldfish have I killed oh fuck a lot too many are there are there am i being okay so my worst experience with fish wasn't with goldfish it was with tetris fish are they no am i just thinking of are they called tetris fish the purple like the blue red and purple ones tetris right I'm just gonna call

them tetris fish yeah so I wanted a fish tank like my friend who had so my friend had a goldfish at her house in her kitchen that was the size of um a grapefruit and the tank was the size of about four milk cartons i'm trying to think of like what the size here uh a shopping basket a grocery store shopping basket and the so think of like a grapefruit in a grocery store shopping basket it's hard to say a grocery store shopping basket uh too big for its britches too bigger for the fucking tank and it died eventually but i really wanted a fish tank like her and i bought I believe I bought 25 Tetris fish because they're tiny I wanted a little school like swarming around the tank and I had a little I don't know how many gallons like 10 gallon 20

gallon tank it was like a normal if you like go into a 12 year old fucking bedroom and you look at their fish tank it's like a it's that one I had it and I got a little bottom feeder to collect their shit on the bottom of the fucking pond and yeah I got 25 fish and then I put them in the tank after I had done the chemistry or whatever whatever the fuck to the water for a couple days I don't even know I think you have to like balance the ph and get the fish ready and then you like put the bag in there so they're just like getting used to the temperature and then they fucking go in I don't know so whatever I killed 12 overnight woke up to a bunch of floaters it was kind of traumatizing and then uh yeah the water was like they weren't adjusted appropriately

and 12 of them died so I stopped 12 heartbeats overnight and then goldfish you know we didn't really have we had like goldfish in stock tanks around the you know for like our animals to drink out of we oh my god did I tell you guys I think I did an episode yeah so my experience with killing goldfish is like oh the winter's coming they freeze over in the pond or excuse me in the stock tank well Jacqueline what's a stock tank Jacqueline what's a stock tank I wasn't a farmer like you fucking a stock tank is a or think of what think of a water trough in your brain on a farm same shit stock tank right am I completely slurring my speech here stock tank yeah let me Google stock tank. I just need to, I'm going to be annoying right now, but I need to see a photo

of what Google images thinks a stock tank is. Stock tank. Enter images. Yes, bitch. It's totally from like a, uh, a tractor supply feed store place. Yes. Okay. I was right. Water trough stock tank, potato, potato bitch. So we'd put a couple of goldfish in there and they'd swim around. It was kind of fun, you know, and then the horse would drink out of it. The sheep, like whatever the animals we had were would drink out of it and then the winter would come hell would freeze over and then they would fucking die but they would also die but come back to life and i did an entire episode about that uh they literally rose from the fucking dead it was like a han solo thing they froze did he thaw out after yeah didn't he or was that how he died okay look kid hey

there you go yeah find your bone go pick up your little heat choose these little turtle shell looking acorn things off a tree by by my house and um I need them to like get occupied with that right now Jacqueline who are you talking to it's my puppy so yeah the goldfish we'd like kill because it would freeze and we'd like keep them in the tank um but we never really had like a goldfish bowl in my house. Um, that was like the suburban kids would do that. And the farm kids had them in the fucking trough cause we were cooler than them. And, um, that's just the way it is. Next question. Did I answer that? Yeah. Yeah. The poor Tetris fish. Um, do you have any weird habits? Oh, do I have any weird habits? Oh yeah, bitch. Okay. Oh fuck. Okay. So I'm going

to start less weird to weirdest and they're, they're not even weird, but okay. They're kind of weird. They're weird to me. Uh, they're just like quirks about me. They're not like weird habits. They're just quirks. So I have this OCD, uh, compulsive habit to any, anytime I'm like doing my skincare, anytime I go in my bathroom, anytime I'm like observe, like observing my face in a mirror, I have to apply more, more Vaseline on my face. Like it could be 1 PM and I'm like working going pee and I go in my bathroom and I'm like touching up my Vaseline because I don't wear makeup at home so I just like constantly put more Vaseline on my face and so I have this like there's like a entire reason I do it I think I've talked about it a lot a lot in the past but

it acts like a barrier that doesn't allow moisture to come out of your skin and it doesn't absorb into your skin so it's not gonna like make you it's not gonna kill you and absorb into your skin And it just like shields moisture, which if you know anything about anti-aging and wrinkle prevention, moisturizing is everything. Like you have to constantly be lubricated at all times. Like you can't just dry out during the day. I'm constantly reapplying Vaseline. That's kind of my weird habit.

I just started actually in like November after I learned about it. And then every night I wear Vaseline all over my face. And yeah, it's a whole thing. I could do a Patreon. I should do a Patreon video of my Vaseline routine. I should do that. Okay. Um, another weird thing I do, I guess you guys know all about my, my laundry, my laundry. Can I even talk? Laundry. Okay. We're going to like put a pen in this. I literally am putting my pen on this question on my fucking cell phone. This is probably stupid.

It's going to like make a crack. Okay. I don't want to forget this. Um, fucking, I got this is about me saying laundry and fucking up twice uh I said a guy's name I think it was yesterday or the day before from clubhouse his name was Julian there I said it Julian who wanted me to he had like two topics he was we were on a we were hosting a room in clubhouse he's like Jacqueline I want you to do these two topics on your show today so in the episode I said his name and I was like I had trouble saying Julian like I had it sound I literally had to like say oh my god I had to like repeat it and he he had sent me a video he's like I never knew my name was hard to pronounce until your episode when I listened I didn't understand Julian is hard to say

and I have a issue guys like I know I've talked about the past in past episodes I keep referring back because I have 180 some now whatever um how my orthodontist body shamed me about having an overactive tongue he's like just hearing you talk I know that you have a tongue thrust and I know that's the reason you have a gap in your tooth Jacqueline and it's like audible like you can hear it when you talk. So, um, with that being said, Julian is not a hard word to say. Laundry back to laundry and my weird habits. Laundry is not a hard word to say technically, but I have an issue with certain words when I say them, like my tongue just like can't fucking enunciate it. Right. And if I say it fast, it's like, especially L's I have the worst

time with L's L's okay let me just get back to the sorry Julian I'm using you as an example right now but I have a fucked up tongue and I it's not fucked up it's just like it's over I guess what is overactive it's like over it like moves faster than the word is supposed to come out or something I don't fucking know so anyways my laundry my laundry routine is weird you guys know all about my uh my weekly trip to the laundromat and why I go there and why that one specifically and how I don't like to feel poor and collect quarters so I go to this certain laundromat that accepts my visa um is that kind of a weird habit yeah it kind of is because I should just do laundry here because it's an option at my apartment and I fucking don't do it so I like you know what

happens to me is do you ever just get in the flow of a of a habit or routine over and over and over and over and over again and you never take a step back and go whoa that's fucking weird that's how I feel about the laundry like I'm just in it I'm just doing it and I don't even think it's like I'm just in the motions okay the final one is probably the weirdest one and I just realized this actually yesterday and before this Q&A before I had anyone ask questions I realized it's about myself I don't know what this means but I don't use plates like straight up I don't own a plate uh it cracked about six months ago and I had one plate it was blue I got it from a dumpster one time um uh look it's funny what i invest money in and what i don't but when it comes to what is it

called flatware cutlery tableware china fucking i'm like this i went to crate and barrel or uh what we got crate and barrel when i first started so i moved to san diego in 2018 moved right in with a guy after uh like moved in with a guy after what one month was with him for a year then I got my own place and then so when I started getting my own place here in San Diego um oh yeah you're like I want the backstory of that Jacqueline I'm past it I hate thinking back to that time I don't want to talk about it fucking moved on go listen past episodes you want to like dissect that whole situation for yourself and pinpoint like you could figure it out who it is if you're pretty, if you're smart, but anyways, uh, uh, ruined my mental health,

but that's all good. I'm better now. Um, I allowed it. I chose, it was all my choice, but I didn't know what I didn't know. And I was naive and young and I didn't know how to set boundaries with men. Okay. But anyways, when I started moving into my own own apartments and shit I got my own um I like went to crane barrel I went to I bought a couple uh plates bowls and shit for my apartment right I like I didn't need a full set I'm like I live alone I don't need a lot I didn't want to have like 10 plates stacked up I don't have like it's not like I'm going to be hosting dinner parties you know like I wasn't planning on that at the time so I have gone through both plates now the one cracked backlash last like 20 26

six months ago, whatever. And then I have a bowl. I just have bowls left. So I didn't use plates. And here's the thing. Even when I had plates, I didn't use them. Um, the blue plate I got, speaking of that, the one that broke was someone had moved out and set a bunch of their shit next to the dumpster. And so I, I got the blue, blue, blue plate from that. But yeah, I like love bowls. I put all my food in bowls. If I'm having like a dinner, if, cause you guys know all about my broccoli and how I don't shut the fuck up about putting cayenne on my broccoli cayenne pepper on my broccoli uh it all go it all goes in a bowl and if I'm having like a protein on the side I like I pre-cut okay I don't do the whole like fork and knife on the plate cutting up my chicken

and steak as I eat it it's pre-cut with scissors in the bowl so then I'll have that maybe I'll have like a um a sweet potato on the side it's all in the bowl and it's the type of bowl that's like it's like a entree bowl if that makes sense it's like a big one and I like to use bowls so weird habit of mine this went on too fucking long um a bitch doesn't use plates and also because also because I I don't give a fuck of food touches and I like when everything's mixed together and so it's better that way and uh when it's on a plate it's just kind of like like okay to be honest think about this I need to like calm the fuck down right now this is going on too long but I'm still gonna keep talking so here buckle up bitches okay

like when I look at a meal and I'm like okay I got rice I'm gonna make this basic and simple I got rice grilled chicken and broccoli with cayenne pepper on a plate rice chicken broccoli okay basic bitch simple healthy dinner type thing so that's on the plate right I got it on the plate so I have that and then I have a bowl of rice chicken and broccoli okay like put yourself in the situation like what do you like think about your experience eating dinner and shit like what do you prefer and I feel like that says a lot about you do you like when the food's separated and you're like oh I'm eating my rice right now and then you're like oh I'm eating my chicken right now and then you're going back and forth you're putting a little broccoli and chicken on

the fork and then you're or are you like me you're like bowl mixing it together eating it all at one It's just, like, all combined. Is that because I have an overactive tongue and I have to have, I don't know, more stimulation on my taste buds or some shit? I need, like, everything fucking combining, every flavor at once. I cannot do the separated broccoli rice and chicken thing. That freaks me the fuck out. Like, I've been at dinner parties before. Okay, that's the only time when I feel, this is so fucking embarrassing.

Whenever I feel pressure to keep my food separated, it's at a dinner party. it's like okay they plated the food it's on a fucking plate I can't really do my bullshit here my bullshit I feel like a slob I feel like a fucking fucking I feel like a pig just explaining this is this is this a bad habit from just living alone and being like fuck it everything goes in the bowl I'm not trying to make this plate look nice I don't give a fuck dude nothing is grosser than like okay okay I I hope to god I grow out of this part of my personality this oversharing tacky uncute vibe I put off here because this is just fucking gross I just

what was I saying um do you ever catch yourself eating like I live alone okay you're like eating dinner by yourself like I eat a lot of salads for dinner in a giant bowl and I'm just shoveling shit in like no manners like I'm just eating big ass bites I'm like what the like it's disgusting and then the second you put a hot man in front of me at a dinner date or if I'm you know dating you living with you um even with like friends and shit it's so fucking dainty I'm taking my fucking time I'm slowed I'm slowed the fuck down the bites are coming in like once every two minutes because I'm also talking while I'm eating but when I'm alone it's like I don't know why I eat so fucking like I eat fucking fast and it's like shoveling it I don't know do you ever catch yourself though

you're like Jacqueline just be more like have more etiquette with yourself that's like like okay I've talked about plates and eating for too long and um do you do you get me do you do you get me or is that am i is that unique to me um i'd like to know bowls or plates what do you like to do shoot me a dm fucking move on we got to move on that was about do i have weird habits and i said i don't like using plates all right um next question what superpower would you want boring um okay okay just delete jacqueline delete this episode delete this episode red alert red alert tmi no one wants to hear bodily functions so if i had a superpower i think about this a lot it'd be teleportation so i could go see family immediately i'd just be like oh i want to be at

my mom's house and i'd be at my mom's house uh teleportation 100 invisibility would be cool invisibility would be cool um oh fuck that's actually dope shit you could go live the lives of everyone you would ever want to live their life like you could just sneak around everywhere it's like oh i want to go uh see what it's like when we bomb syria i'm just gonna like go okay that's such a weird example it was a drone strike right i was like i just get up in the fucking bomber jet and and be invisible the whole time and no one would know i was there and then i could like observe us bombing syria from the sky but it was in it was in a drone which i don't think is uh maneuvered by man mankind and uh jesus christ you get what i mean

like you would go experience things in this world if you were invisible like anything you want and I don't know like how you like you'd obviously you couldn't bump into anyone or like you couldn't touch things or else they know you're there but that'd be dope I just want to like go live with Donald Trump for a night watch him sleep that'd be sick wait do I want invisibility teleportation is super convenient and probably more practical but the I'd say invisibility for the the thrill just for the, what can I get away with? Where can I go? Who can I watch sleep? And, um, I'm a psychopath obviously. And, but like flying is fucking boring. Just get on a plane, just go hang glide, just go skydive. Um, what other superpowers are there? Oh man. Do I want to talk

about this? Oh no, I won't bring it up. I was going to bring up something kind of, um, just like personal about a superpower, but I just like, I'll leave it. I'll leave it to myself today. I need to, I'm oversharing a lot. I do that every fucking episode. I'm going to keep something sacred to myself. Next question. Do you want to get married? Oh yeah. Do I get serious at this point? Do I get normal at this point instead of popping off? Um, a hundred percent. Yes. I want to get married do I think about my my you know wedding do I envision my wedding dress do I care about what ring I get and like getting proposed to and like do I am I waiting around for that to happen do I want that to happen so bad no it's just like I have this internal knowing this

internal like I'm nodding my head yes like yes she will be married it will happen I'm not putting any expectations around it though or whatever I'm just kind of like it'll happen I want to get married um that's changed though I mean my parents got divorced when I was 20 so that kind of turned all my marriage ideas upside down and everything kind of got weird for a bit there especially when I was in college like dating guys I was just like I just was weird everything was weird at that point but now I've kind of moved on from all that and I'm mentally just like I'm so fucking traditional and simple with what I want in this life I literally just want yeah a husband I want a family I want a family dog I want a house and I want a normal fucking life and I want to bring

my kids to soccer practice in a fucking minivan and I want that minivan to be uh we're gonna have spinner wheels it's gonna be an astro van just like the one i grew up with and it's gonna be fucking badass and i just i don't know i it's tough when you live in a generation of everything changing every single fucking day with how we view relationships and dating and marriage and men and women and all these new genders and all these new ideas like it's tough to live in that when your mindset has never changed around it like you're just kind of constantly like in this like past like you just think of it in terms of like 1950s going to the diner and drinking a milkshake across from each other and going off to the sock hop and going off

to a little date and everything's just like super basic and simple and it's not all about like you know I'm just I don't know I don't believe in marriage I don't believe that two people are meant to be together forever I read sex at dawn because Aubrey Marcus told me to read sex at dawn and you know technically we're not supposed to be with one person as you know our we're animals and we should fucking I don't know so but yeah I do want to get married I went is this the Woodford reserve hitting my veins and I'm elaborating too much now on each question I could have answered do you want to get married with one fucking word I could have said yes and move to the next question but the Woodford reserve is absorbed and I have a lot to say so we're gonna just uh I could keep

talking about marriage uh fuck let's just keep going what next question what kinky shit are you into? Okay. This just took a turn. This just took a turn. What kinky shit am I into? I don't know. I'm pretty boring. Like, I like popping my man's zits on his back if he has them. That's a bonus. Yeah, I feel like that's it. I know you want to hear like oh Jacqueline likes to get tied up and she likes to role play and she likes to fucking like you know you want to hear some juicy content right now and I'm pretty fucking I'm I'm this is not that kind of okay here's the thing I know you want to hear like all about my sex life and my like all my what's it called this isn't call her daddy i'm

not gonna just sit here and like unleash everything on you and that on that on within that topic and that's just what it is so i'm gonna just keep things basic and simple in preschool and say i like to pop people's zits on their back let's pop my man's zits that's so like i just I don't know it's like the first thing that came to mind um I should look up like I'm just curious like kinks like what the fuck like um I guess it's like fetish like do I have a fetish like a foot fetish do I have a fetish I mean I'm kind of obsessed like when I it's not like a fetish though but things I'm just like I notice about a man where I'm like whoa I'm just like I can't stop like focusing on it or like I love guys hands a lot there's something about a man's

hands that's really attractive and like I just but it's not like I'd sound like I have a fucking fetish um what else is like do I have like other things I'm like I don't know like something that's That's kind of weird. I don't know. Let me look up. Okay. Here we go. The top 10 strangest fetishes. Just Google this. This might be fun. Prepare to have your mind blown as you explore some of the weirdest fetishes. There's like a tongue gif. Someone just like slowly caressing their lips their time this is disgusting okay here's the first one melissaphilia when nothing gets you aroused like bees and wasps like the sound of that makes people aroused holy fuck dude that's whenever i think of like the simulation and glitches i'm like whenever there's people

getting off from asmr noises i'm like that is a fucking glitch just like goats on cliffs i believe that goats on cliffs and people getting off from people whispering like this can make people fucking calm what the fuck that's not right there's something something just not uh something doesn't add up there and um so yeah melissa melissa philia when nothing gets you aroused like bees and wasps interesting goats on cliffs yeah that's a glitch in the system all right next one psychrophilia someone who is totally aroused by the cold or watching other others freeze psych that's psych psychrophilia next one nasolingus yep some people get aroused by sticking sucking on a person's nose

like is it you get aroused sucking on their nose or when someone sucks on your nose because like what feels better giving that like sucking on someone's nose or them sucking our nose like what the fuck that's not a good I don't I'm not into that I don't I've sucked a nose in my life but I don't think it's um it's just kind of like a fun thing and you're just like I just don't like how that and it just doesn't it's just like oh that was fun for two seconds I'm not going to continue how the fuck do people like that again glitch in the system next one oh hard word to pronounce. My overactive tongue is going to hate this one. Celosmophilia. Oh, I did great. Celosmophilia. If you stutter, there's someone out there who completely digs your stutter.

Speaking of that, speaking of my tongue and stuttering, someone out there will like me for my fucking tongue thrust, which isn't a stutter, but I just try to like mix the two things together because I mentioned it and that didn't fucking work, but whatever. People like someone who stutters. Okay. Next one. Ketotronophilia. Ketotron. Ketotronophilia. Patron. Why do I always do that? Patron. Whenever something on this show reminds, like, sounds like Patron, I do that. Patron. If you ever see a mirror over the bed, chances are that bed spelled b-e-a-d typo have you ever seen a mirror over the bead chances are chance are that person is all about having sex in front of mirrors

jesus christ the amount of times i get that the amount of times they're like oh she's got this tufted like i if you know anything about my apartment if you have if you've ever been in it i have a giant mirror that's like the size of a fucking wall and then in front of it i have a leather i have a leather tufted ottoman that's like very i don't know like uh man cave what's the word like library like in the fucking college and hogwarts and shit i don't know but it's like immediately a man will see that and go oh so what do you do in front of the mirror on this ottoman like they that's where their head goes immediately and I've never not had

that happen so yeah uh and then also it's like my bed there's like a giant mirror by my bed it's like in my apartment I can't take it away and it's just like in my room and it's just like it doesn't mean shit I can't it's just like the decor okay but yeah apparently if you you got catrone ophelia if you like having sex in front of mirrors interesting next one uh boring it's about being aroused by insects okay boring oh fuck climacophilia climacophilia fall down the stairs baby yep it's true people get aroused to falling down the stairs again glitch in the system that's fucking crazy like you like the feeling of your butt everyone knows everyone knows what that feeling is on your tailbone when you fall down

the stairs just like the same way right now let's do it let's do an activity stop what you're doing put your weights down get off the treadmill fucking uh look up from your devices and look at anything around you like a pen a water bottle the floor the table you're next to your steering wheel and imagine what it tastes like and you will fucking know exactly what it tastes like everyone knows what everything tastes like it's a thing like you know immediately just looking at something what it will fucking feel like and taste like in your mouth and that is because when we are children that is how we

discover the world with our fucking tongues and shoving shit in our mouths and eating everything and just like yeah so actually I don't know if that's true I'm just thinking like what my puppy he does because he's growing up and learning about um the world and so like his the way he discovers what things are is by putting them in his mouth and licking everything but i feel like kids are the same like you know what chewing on a pencil tastes like like that you know what that fucking metal end tastes like on a pencil on a ticonderoga yellow pencil you know what i'm talking about you know what i just it's crazy i saw that i think it was a it was probably a and TikTok and I was like mind blown so but yeah if you fall down the stairs you know if you're

wearing like jeans you kind of get a wedgie and then it like hurts your tailbone and then you slide down and then your feet are like hitting every step oh yeah we've done it so many times we used to have a stair you know we used to do it on purpose we'd we'd uh my sister and brother and I would put we'd what is it called mattress surf no we'd pillow surf down our stairs for fun yeah good times uh do i want to keep reading these fetishes um lithophilia when all you want to do is roll around in stone and gravel fucking gay i can't say that fucking retarded i can't say that what can i say fucking fucking gay that's fucking retarded you can't even say those anymore fucking

it's fucking straight let's just fuck let's just I don't know dumb it's fucking uncool I think that's it I gotta do the next question um let me see here what brings you the most joy okay next question what brings me the most joy this is so fucking simple like it it's an instant in my brain three things right here family podcasting puppy that's it zevia with woodford reserve shit I said not to carbonate excuse me not to gargle carbonated beverages yesterday

when I did it for fun it hurts don't do it um yeah family podcasting puppy right now that's like all I can think of you guys know this is my passion this is my love this is my dream this is my like when people find their passion in life and they're they're just like But yeah, one day I found out I could sing and I loved singing songs and I sound like Christina Aguilera. And so I started recording music in my basement and then I love singing. I never stopped. I do it every day. And they're like, that's my passion. That's my dream. That's I I relate to that now with podcasting. Like, oh, I get you. I get that. Like what what artists feel when they find their passion with their art or whatever the fuck.

or athletes. I'm a conversation athlete with myself. I'm on the court. I used to say that all the time. I forgot when I would say like, oh, I just, I need to go. Coach needs to pull me out and he'd go to the locker room and have him talking to, cause I would go off and I'd have to stop myself and be like, I need a timeout. I need to be pulled from this game. I need to get off the court. I need a little break. Yeah. I'm a conversation athlete. I'm a artist, I guess. this is creative I'm using my words my thoughts and I'm combining them and you know concocting them up for you guys every day and it's fucking fun and I feel like it brings me joy I feel good as fuck because I'm really getting to know myself I'm really figuring out who I am right now and

uh yeah I feel happy okay next question best and worst part of your personality next question oh fuck I mean you tell me what's the best part best and worst part of my personality if you listen regularly I mean you know you know me pretty well now what's the best and worst part um I'd say best part you know exactly what I think at all times worst part you know exactly what I think at all times I think there's something great about that something terrible about that

so I think that's the best and worst part of my personality say it like it is you always know what you always know where you stand with me because I'm not going to be fucking fake and not say it and you know my opinions you know what I all my thoughts because I'm just that bitch who lets you know and that's probably the worst part because I don't know is that a is that a good thing all around just like being a straight up bitch or straight up gangster straight up fucking real shooter being a straight shooter is positive quality in my eyes but I feel like for some people it could be um they kind of handle it or they just be like intimidated or uh put like a turned off by it and they'd be like bitch tone it down keep it to yourself like go to see your therapist

and tell her don't tell me i just like being around people that are like that though i don't like to be confused like what do you really fucking think i hate trying to read people who are fake I don't like fake people and it's so easy for me as a former fake person uh who was like in the closet with this vibe it's easier for me to read that on people and I'm just putting that out there like I have a strong intuition when I'm around new people of like who is super chill and comfortable with themselves and their skin and who's like being just normal and like present and just themselves and then I can immediately see who's in their head trying to perform trying to look

a certain way trying to sound a certain way trying to be liked trying to you know because that was me in the past so I guess I don't know it's good to be a straight shooter and what did I say people always know what I think but um if you're not if you haven't broken that ice with yourself and you're if you're not aware of you it's like easy to be put off by people like me I think if you're kind of like like holy shit I can't believe she said that or like holy shit oh my god oh my god like that she's a lot she's a lot it's really fucking dramatic for this situation why'd she have to point that out and say that it was unnecessary this is not that it's not a good time for this because or like bitch be more filtered have some social awareness no I'm

basically making myself sound like I don't have social awareness that's not the case I'm just saying that yeah I'm just kind of like around people that were and I get it like not everyone everyone's on their own journey and I think if I could help people I don't know just like release that with themselves I don't know how it's done I don't know what I do or what I say but dude I was in my head for so fucking long and it sucks and it's i feel like it's an epidemic it's a pandemic a pandemic of people pleasing and insecurity about yourself and like trying to keep up with everyone around you and like saying and looking and doing everything right and i don't know and then it's just

speaking of personality just because the question was best and worst parts of my personality I don't know you tell me I did my best there but it's so easy now to or it's not easy what am I saying like personality is fucking dead now because of social media and it's so easy to copy everyone around you and everything they're doing and you just become like this you come you become a knock off version of yourself I've joked like oh I'm a knockoff influencer I used to think of myself like that because I never really was it I was like a wannabe I was always on the up and up and I was like up and coming in my brain like I want to do what I want to really reach out to brands and try this thing and like get on a PR list and like plug products and fucking make YouTube videos

and hauls of all this shit I got sent. I was on the cusp of that, but, um, yeah, when you just like, and here's the reason I say that, the reason I say that there's a reason for it is because in the world of influencing and content creation and, you know, Instagram culture and YouTube culture, there's a fucking script at this point of like what to say, how to say it, how to like, inflect or whatever your voice and make your voice like like hey guys welcome back to my channel today we're gonna talk about it's like it's a fucking like formula and if it's like a learned behavior i don't believe it's a natural thing that people grew up with and i just feel like and they're i'm not saying there's anything necessarily wrong with it it's just the way

it is now like uh it's how you sell things to people and it fucking works because when kylie does her voice when she's doing her swatches on her arm of all of her new eyeshadow colors hey guys like that fucking work she's a fucking billionaire I'm saying fuck too much I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it but in terms of personality and like being yourself it's you end up mask I feel like I don't know I just think a lot of people use that as a crutch and that way of being and portraying themselves on the internet now which is literally like the new world i mean it's just the new world it's the new world i mean what people know you because of the like they know you're online they know the online version of

yourself probably better than the real life version of yourself now uh like if you have a following or whatever like if you have a lot of people following you that's just how they perceive you, and so, yeah, what you're putting out there, and how you're talking, and addressing people, and how you're making content is, like, I just think a lot of people use that crutch, and they just copycat everyone around them, and it's, like, their personality's masked with this fucking script, and this weird, I don't know, that's, like, when I joked around, I was, like, yeah, just fucking send me some shit, I'll just plug it, like, I'll just be super honest about it, like hey yeah thanks kylie for this new eyeshadow palette actually this color already exists

there's already 42 000 fucking eyeshadow palettes that came before this that already have this color this isn't groundbreaking this isn't new in fact this is an interesting makeup tutorials and makeup content on the internet it's been overdone we're maxed out we've had too much of it time to move on makeup's kind of just not that interesting anymore and so nice try with this bright green but honestly it's for like the one time of year someone's going to a halloween party they're gonna put on their eyes and they want to look like a a hot green slut frog and they're gonna need it but other than that this was uh not a good move and I don't know so there's also a lot of mockery of it I do see that with a lot of um on TikTok and and shit where

people mock that influencer voice and they mock that whole thing and I don't want to be one of those people I'm just commenting on it in terms of like how it it's changed the voice of society and the voice of no it's like what would we it's like before influencers were doing the whole hey guys I'm gonna show you the product shit before they were doing that it was like qvc commercials like the women on qvc would be repetitively like every fucking 15 minutes they'd be re-pitching the product and like saying the same thing over and over again and just like they and they had a certain way of doing that so i guess it's the same thing and again there's nothing wrong with it i just think it's easy to go okay i

want to be a beauty guru and show makeup to the internet and so I'm gonna just like act like that talk like that be like that and then there's unique it's just not unique anymore there's nothing groundbreaking about it and so I don't know if that's it kind of sucks I don't know and now with podcasting I think that's why I love podcasting I feel the most at home here this is a long fucking tangent hi um it's the Woodford Reserve and the cream soda Zevia it's in my veins I'm absorbed it's absorbed and I have a lot to say um podcasting feels like flying to me I feel the most at home I feel free because it's all about expressing myself and just letting it fly off the cuff. No editing, no premeditation about like

what I'm going to say and like how I'm going to say it, what it's going to sound like and look like. So I'm not selling you anything. I'm not trying to make it like look aesthetic or sound aesthetic. What's aesthetic about my person? Like there's nothing aesthetic about me. Like nothing I do here is like, I don't know. It's just a phone call. I'm just a friend in your ear saying high and then that's all it is and I'm not trying to create this vibe or this fucking I don't know dude podcasting is so fucking fun everyone do a podcast I don't care there's only 1.7 million podcasts 37 million youtubers 37 million youtube accounts 1.7 million podcasts so it's just the beginning bitches everyone's gonna have a podcast eventually and I'm glad I got in I think I'm I

think it's a it's a very important time to tell my story uh because of the times like I'm super glad I started during the pandemic and I did it last year because this is like a once in a lifetime moment we're having and I feel like the fact that I um have documented every day is pretty cool and it'll be fun to just like look back on all this even though I don't know I don't really make it to like oh I'm gonna look back on it but if I ever did it's pretty cool to have in the bank of uh my shit so anyway so is there another question here how are you guys doing what do you do today um fucking speaking of that what have you wow weird simulation what have you done today to make your part of the world a better place what what have you done today

to make your part of the world a better place um I brought my puppy up to a golf cart I brought my puppy up to so my part of the world meaning southern California I'm taking this literally what have I done to make my part of the world a better place yeah I brought my puppy up to a golf cart with a couple um at the park they wanted me they said hi um oh my god we love puppies oh my god how old is he oh my god can we can uh covey meet him like their dog can they can you know she meet him and so yeah i made my part of the world a better place by sharing my youngin my fucking offspring with another couple and making their fucking day i brightened i put smiles on people's faces today with my puppy and without me having a job

working my ass off and forking out multiple thousands of dollars for my golden retriever puppy if I didn't have a fire under my ass if I didn't if I was not ambitious if I wasn't savvy with my finances and able to afford a golden retriever puppy uh those people would not have smiled today so yeah they ain't cheap bitch like golden retriever puppies are not six hundred dollars like when i was a kid i remember we got a puppy and it was like five hundred dollars i was like what the fuck now that's like minimum two grand for a golden retriever puppy in california good luck for any if you find anything less it's fake it's an inbred it's fucking from a puppy mill or some shit I don't even know it's not real

um but yeah I guess but what else how else did I make my part of the world a better place I mean lately that's what it's been I I have a puppy and I'm sharing it with my neighbors I'm showing it to people and they're so excited to pet a puppy because like it's the best thing ever right um I recycle I you know I put my recycling in the recycling bin make the world a better place by um i'm kind to everyone i meet except for that rapist that approached me a few days ago actually i was i was too nice to him i should have been more more of a bitch i did tell you guys if i ever see him again he's it's gonna be i'm gonna be assertive and aggressive and uh he's not gonna want to fuck with me anymore so go listen to a few days ago

if you want to know who this what who the strange man was that approached me uh and terrified me after the fact so still on the lookout for him keep my head on a swivel at night when i walk my puppy but i don't know i don't like to i think if you live in paranoia you're just gonna manifest the rapist coming after you and you just can't it's got to be like out of sight out of mind and just like walk like a fucking dude at night and and wear just like pack pack something pack your kitchen knife bitches get packing get a concealed concealed dude I might do that I might I might do that I might get a weapon I'm at that point guys I might do it for my safety it's a new world it's a new world I think I need a pink handgun I want a pink one

and I just want to have it for peace of mind, for, uh, you know, you never, it's just, it's hard out here. It's hard out here. Uh, it's hard out here for a pimp. What song is that? It's hard out here. Dude, fuck you. Uh, okay. it's getting hot what is that hard out here for a pimp hustle and flow you know it's hard

out here for a pimp right Terrence Howard copyright fuck ah shit dude you know when you unlock a song from the past i just fucking did it i'm getting my spotify i have to get this song right now hard out here it's hard out here for a pen as far as hot out here for a pimp i'm uh i need to end this episode um it's hard out here for a pimp that's fucking vibey

that's a word i'm trying to cut out of my vocab this year and i keep using it it's hard out here for a pimp dude what do you guys think of the thumb brace idea i'm serious about it and i'm not trying to be like oh quirky and funny and interesting like we it's i've okay i want to be hold on i gotta add this to the playlist real quick um yeah so you know when people are like early adopters or like they see the future before it happens like gary vaynerchuk with playing cards and nfts or whatever the fuck like he called the shit he called crypto like back in 2010 and like he or whatever like he um what's it called guesses the future great or well um predicts human behavior in the future and shit. Okay. You get what I mean. So I want to do that with

something and like tech, something like in tech or just like a product. And I feel like something's going to happen to our thumbs and our eyes that isn't going to, it's not going to be very good. okay we are approaching uh a thumb it's gonna be like the black plague except it's gonna be like thumb paralysis we're all fucked because of our scrolling and our tapping all day and our and necks are gonna be i feel like a lot of our um yeah we're just okay so i'm thinking like a thumb brace is kind of like a funny gimmick thing that would be like hey um you know just support this is to support your social media addiction um it's there if you need it um if you're not you know whatever so there's that and the phone hammocks thing I think is

funny too like just like it's symbolic it's like oh this means my phone it's not like putting it in one of those lockbox safes that um I think people have those where it's there's a timer on it and it won't unlock for like a certain amount of time you set so you can't be on your phone or whatever which is way smarter than putting it in a fucking hammock or a little bed but i don't know i just think it'd be cute like it'd be a fun gift like maybe that'd be an item like that's a stupid fucking item you'd buy at one of those like spencer's stores or like in the mall or like weird like there's stores with like weird gag gifs and shit i feel like this would be one of those things but um let me know what are what are your thoughts should i keep answering

questions is this even a q a anymore it's hard out here for a pimp um i think that's a song that i got in trouble for listening to when i was a kid I'm pretty sure because of the word pimp just like I couldn't wear billabong my mom was against billabong merch excuse me billabong brand as a kid too because of the word bong and I never knew what it meant I didn't get that app I didn't understand the billabong issue at all like I never registered in my brain because I had no concept of getting high what weed was until because I feel like the billabong I had I was like before when did I like I literally think I didn't know about weed until seventh grade

eighth grade I mean I went to a private catholic school like no kid I just like I didn't yeah I think it was like because I was friends with all the stoner kids in high school I never smoked weed in high school no I didn't I wait I think the first time I did was was it college yeah yeah I told that story you guys know that story if you listen every day okay um it's really funny but anyways I don't think yeah it was like seventh grade when I actually knew about weed but certain shit from like songs tv shows my parents would be like oh I can't nope can't listen to that can't listen that can't watch that can't wear that because it was like the word bong was in Billabong and I'm like Jesus Christ so there's an issue with Hey Arnold at one point we got banned

from watching Hey Arnold anyways okay let me answer I'll do a couple more it's kind of a long Q&A but whatever it's hard out here for a pimp um what would would sorry would you be mad if I tell you I am I'm in love with you oh god guys someone's in love with me what do I do I mean fuck I know how this is dude uh I'm not mad at you first of all I'm not mad I'm not mad at you for this I understand you I know what it's like to be in love with someone you've never met barely know like I I know that feeling of like you think you're in love with them um like I know that really well and I think it's really easy to fall in love with people through the internet like you feel or just like feel emotional about them and you're like because

you see a lot about their life you see a lot about I'm like making this deeper than I'm I'm trying to be serious right now because I'm like you know if someone says they're in love with me I'm not going to just like be funny about it and be like fuck you I'm sorry I don't feel the same I'm not, you know, I want to be tender and gentle and kind. I think it's true though. Like when people post content all the time of what they're doing in their life and pictures and, and shit. And in my case, like I podcast and I, and I tell you guys a lot and it's like this one-on-one relationship we have here. And I get how you might be catching a feeling or two. And I fucking understand that because I've caught feelings from every podcast I've ever fucking

listened to and even the 50 year olds even the old men I listen to like I feel this like connection it's like a not a it's more like a it's not like an attraction it's more like a I just think I what's that okay speaking of kinks earlier what's that thing where you are like attracted to someone's mind I think I have that now wait there's like a name for it like you're physically attracted wait you're attracted to someone's mind pansexual wait no why is that the first thing in google sapiosexuality when a person is stimulated by how someone uses their mind the person with a sexual attraction to someone's mind is sapiosexual the element of being attracted to someone's mind may lead to sexual arousal or

physical desire so i guess it's not that for me at all fucking that's kind of insane actually like just to be like it's like aroused by someone's mind is not how it is it's more like i have a deep like it's like a very it's it's attractive when you hear someone say something well or like have a cool personality and share it and talk it out like you feel this attraction I don't know I don't think it's sapiosexual I think it's just like a keen interest you're just like I like how this person thinks or you think or you relate to them really well and you're like I you're fucking speak in my language holy shit let's be friends let's date each other whatever it is and it's like holy shit I know how that is there's so many people um over my decade of social media that I've

been like you just feel this like connection with and but back to your question would I be mad if you if you said that you were in love with me um absolutely not uh go see a therapist i mean what do i say back the feeling is not mutual i'm not feeling this way at all i don't know you but uh all the best plenty of fish in the sea next question when is the next live oh fuck Kajan this is from Kajan yo Kajan what up look I know I had fun there for a minute back in November doing four hour live streams on Instagram like nothing is more obnoxious than seeing that fucking someone is live circle at the beginning of your stories I am not enticed it doesn't matter

who it is to click it I don't care who how much I like you and how much I love following you if you're live I don't give a fuck so I was that person for a minute and I would do like yeah I think the one day it was like fucking six hours of me on the live stream just I never I just kept going and I ended up live so yeah I live streamed and then I immediately podcasted for like two hours after oh shit why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this gotta get my reps in i gotta i gotta get i gotta work on talking it's not my new thing so the more the merrier what's online uh tis the season to be merry well that's my name no shit if you know you know bitches

Christmas Vacation Shabby Chase well that's mine where are you gonna put that tree Griswold bend over and I'll show ya that did not that didn't hit is that the last question I want to do

oh fuck is Reese's or is honey mamas better than Reese's Reese's? I guess Reese's chocolate. I did a February favorites episode. So this has to do with chocolate. I'm going to end the episode with the fucking chocolate here, whatever honey mamas is. So Reese's is his own food group. Like I consider Reese's peanut butter cup, its own thing compared like, I don't want to call it like a chocolate like it's a it's like a candy but honey mamas is yeah honey mamas is better and I really hope Ozzy to answer your question I'll just address you because you're also a patron and uh you DM me probably on average six times a day um hi uh he's like my Jamie we joke about

that he always searches like if i trip up and forget something on the show or like don't know what the word is i'm looking for he'll find like he'll figure it out for me and send it to me and then he'll also like time stamp when i say shit he'll go back and find the exact time i say something about it's insane so shout out ozzy but yeah honey mamas is better i really hope you can hunt it hunt it down i think they sell it at trader joe's and if because i know a lot of people have Trader Joe's around them yeah like there's a if you go to where they're like refrigerated food the whole fucking store is a refrigerator Jacqueline it's a grocery store uh if you go to where the like lunch food is like they have like the packaged salads and sushi and sandwiches and

shit like that section i feel like there's honey mamas over there they're in trader joe's but the best ones are at like your whole foods your um well these jimbos in my town here they have them but uh yeah all right i think that's it that's your saturday q a i can't believe so 21 q a's every so 21 saturdays in a row i've done it 21 yeah 21 weeks wow um good to great to be here thanks for hanging out with me I have no friends so this is cool where does this go like let's just reflect right now like what only recently have I been uh considering the future of the show and like what happens next and what this looks like in a year what this looks like in two years because for the most part it's just like a I have the

fucking hiccups I'm sorry sorry um for the most part it's just like a daily thing I do I don't I don't really look far in the future I'm just like oh I gotta get it done today it's a new day new podcast there's no ands ifs or buts I don't even think twice or to be honest I look forward to it so it's it's great that after almost 200 episodes I'm still like excited to do it I still look forward to it um but I wonder like what the future looks like with this and what the fuck am i gonna blow up why am i not on the top charts yet i am an entitled millennial and i deserve a spot on the list i have more episodes than call her daddy and she is number one what the fuck but it's quality jacqueline not quantity it's quality over quantity quality when it comes to

content and in the internet and it's quality over quantity people are better than you with their quality of their content than you are you're just blasting people's inboxes all day with episodes after episodes after episodes talking about the same shit every single fucking day nobody gives a fuck nobody cares this isn't worthy of an explosion and a top charts spot and also Jacqueline you are uh contradicting everything you've said in the past about not caring about that shit so sit down bitch remember your values remember your why you're not here to get to the top you are here to find yourself and to speak your diary out every day instead of writing it that's the whole purpose here you're just you're just doing a daily podcast okay keep it sit down okay keep it

keep that in mind, all right, fucking the Jesus Christ, why did I do that, at the end of the episode, got weird there, but you know what, it crosses my mind though, like, I just have this, like, hunch sometimes, where I'm like, you know what, I, I, it's, it's almost like, at the beginning, I was really cocky and arrogant, and I said some outlandish shit, like, I'm drowning out these hoes doing it once a week I'm drowning out these hoes doing it seven days a week and I'm you know I just bombarded you guys with so much fucking cocky stupid shit and then now I'm like I'm so like anti that I'm just like I don't care like I'm not really thinking far ahead I'm just you know doing it day to day and I'm just what I'm saying is I'm at this point

now I'm kind of thinking well whoa um will I just check the stats one day and it just blew up for some reason like what happens like I literally have zero concept to like how that happens people are like what makes that happen or I mean for people that don't even promote their show like is it just like oh you get discovered by someone and then they talk about your show and then you get more like I don't know I guess that's how it works and I guys I'm obsessed with organic local homegrown homemade grass-fed fucking growth here okay I don't I'm obsessed with the idea that it happens however it happens it grows however it grows and I don't obsess over outcomes and making up making it to the top charts and shit like I just said like that was just a joke

but um I mean oh Jacqueline who wouldn't want that well I'm being serious like I don't want that to cloud what I'm doing here I don't want that to be like the purpose or the reason for it I just like the fact that um I'm bettering myself and I'm helping you guys with like I don't like the only way I know I'm helping people is just like oh it's entertainment and it's like a little fun escape if they listen to the show and it's like they relate to me and I feel like they have a friend or whatever and i think that's helping people um but that's what i want to focus on i don't want to focus on just like i don't know i could be like what's her face who's that young young bad bitch the young doctor the dr phil chick catch me outside chick who like became a

rapper right and or it's like six nine all all ego all cocky all everything he does is like me me me me I'm the best I'm the best fuck you hoes I'm just like all that like I could do that and just be fun like I could have fun with it I could have fun with it where it'd be sarcastic but then also like you guys would it would brainwash you guys into like thinking that I really wanted to like I think I'm better than every other podcast and I'm the best like I could totally do that thing and it could be like a complete it could be like a whole that would be like the theme of the show. Me talking shit about other, like I could just talk shit about other podcasters, like a rapper. That can be funny, but also just like annoying as fuck.

And I couldn't do that every day. Stay humble, bitch. Do your things. Do what you're just keep doing what you're doing. First rule of the game is show up, right? Just show up, show up. Uh, progress, not perfection. Focus on what's in front of you, not the end result. Um, I don't know. I think someone DM me, by the way, I'm going to end it with this. I have to, I'm going to put my pen down. This symbolizes I have to end the show. Okay. My pen is like, this is like a dagger on my table here. Okay. So someone DM me about, I think it was someone on Clubhouse who's looking for business, who wanted to connect. And I think they help people grow their numbers and their Instagram and their podcast downloads and shit. They were one of those

people, which is super cool that they do that and help people with that. And they said, what are your goals this year? I think something along the lines of like, what are your goals this year? And I literally wrote back, I just want to have fun and enjoy my life. like that's it because I could have said oh I want x amount of downloads each episode on my podcast I want to grow my I want to get more followers I want to do this with my finances or whatever like I could have said something like that but like I don't like I just feel like goals are the downfall of society sometimes they're just like their culture so focused on like goal setting and goals and achieve your goals and goals goals goals and I feel like

it's why are we such in it why are we so wrapped up on goals like I get it it's good they're good to have I it's not like I don't have goals but I'm not when your goals become part of your identity and like whether or not you're happy and like if you get them like if you like you won't be happy until you achieve that goal like that's where I think our society's fucked up where a lot of people are chasing something and they never really if they don't attain it they're not in they don't know how to be present and enjoy the moment and they're constantly just like on this quest and once they get the thing they're still depressed and you don't know why like that there's so many people that tell that story they've made it and they're fucking depressed and lonely and

their life sucks and if you're just focused on that one thing you want really hard and you you don't know what it's like once you you think you know what you'll feel like once you get it and then you get it and then what you know I think it's all about like who you become along the way and how you enjoy the process and it's just like yeah and I what I what I said like I just want to have fun and enjoy my life if I sat here every day and went like oh why am I not on the top charts or whatever the fuck I said earlier and I like constantly thought about that it would ruin me it would totally ruin me. I just feel like a loser. I'd be like, why isn't it growing? Why isn't it growing? Why am I not getting more? Like, why aren't I, why aren't I relevant yet?

Why aren't I famous yet? Like that's the least of my fucking wants or worries. Like I don't, I'm just enjoying the, I love podcasting. I love, uh, what I do here. I like my job. I like my puppy I like my life I like everything and I think if I just focus on that and you know I'll always be happy I don't have to like get something in the future and just like hope for it or whatever okay yeah the pen is down still this means I have to end so thank you for hanging out for Q and a number 21. Uh, that was a lot of fun. I feel like that was a good episode. I don't know. Uh, subjective, this whole fucking podcasting thing is like that. It's like, I'm either for you or not for you. And that's how it is. You either get me or you don't,

you love me or hate me. That's cool. Um, I'm going to always keep it, keep it real with you guys and just speak my mind and be unfiltered and never edit anything so yeah that's it thanks for hanging out hit that subscribe button i'll be here tomorrow for sunday and head over to patreon.com slash tjms to support me support the show support your local podcast baddie fucking if you want more of me if this isn't good enough the seven days a week isn't good enough i have more content over on patreon post extra videos there photos uh i do shout outs on fridays and phone calls so patreon.com slash tjms go check it out have a lovely day uh and yeah i'll talk to you tomorrow awkward ending all right bye