The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 188- Hiccups and Loneliness

Episode Date: March 12, 2021

Happy Thursday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up, guys? Happy Thursday. It's episode 188. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's jacqueline welcome back to the show So happy Thursday. Happy thirsty Thursday. I've got a tall glass of water next to me. I'm feeling hydrated. I'm feeling happy. Thursday afternoon, the sun is shining through my window. It's a great day. I hope you're doing well. Let's do a podcast. First off, please hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash TJMS to support the show. pause. I'm like, do I want to elaborate on Patreon? Do I want to explain it? Just patreon.com slash TGMS. Go check it out. TGMS. Dude, I'm having a great day. I feel energized.

I just drank a nice coffee. It's the afternoon. Let's get into my day. What I got up to. Um, this makes zero sense, but I want to share this right off the bat because I'm, my mind is blown um I learned about why we hiccup and from obviously from TikTok like where else would I randomly learn about that I didn't understand why we hiccup and I learned about it and it literally is a survival thing in our in the womb like you or okay and also my puppy's been hiccuping he has puppy hiccups so I've been like look I did look that up in terms of like why do puppies hiccup and he eats his food too fast so I have to slow him down and get him a special bowl but whatever tiktok said this guy on tiktok was like look when you're in the womb

you are your lungs are full of fluid everything is water you're just fully immersed in liquids and so you hiccup in the womb to train your lungs to like breathe oxygen or whatever when you're born You only have like one chance as soon as you pop out to breathe right. And so it's like lung training in the womb. And then it's useless once you're born. Like there's no reason for us to hiccup. But there's something in our brain that it ignites it. It causes it to happen when we're, you know, adults or whatever.

Kids, teens, et cetera, when you have the hiccups. Something triggers it in our brain and they don't know why that happens. According to this old man on TikTok. I believed him. he sounded convincing but yeah you're in the womb just like i forget oh you know should i just pull it up do you guys want to hear some tiktok audio maybe that'll make this i don't do like fun sound effects and shit on this podcast maybe just hearing someone else talk would be entertaining here we go where's this old dude yeah you first started hiccuping about 11 weeks after you got

fertilized and you did it for about half an hour every day until you got bored can you even understand his accent sorry or his voice sorry is that racist i don't know why you were training your lung muscles to breathe air not water you see at that time you were floating around swimming in your own urine amniotic fluid which is mostly water inside your mother's tummy and you were breathing okay i i get it you're breathing it out of your lungs so water is about a thousand times denser than air and when you are born you switch why am i doing this translation for him i feel like is this rude whatever uh you switch over to breathing air when you're born

you have to switch over to breathing air there is no second go if you cannot switch over from breathing water to air you die hiccuping before you're born is the essential training for being able to breathe after you've been born but then hiccuping is totally useless apart from being really okay basically repeating what i said i just thought it'd be a fun fact to start the episode something you just learned also i want to shout out nappy and jay um the nappy and jay podcast for uh, just like a great, uh, piece of content or piece, a great topic they talked about that I want to continue on, on my show today. And I actually posted about, um, I posted about it on my Insta story last night and I got a ton of feedback. Everyone was like, this is so funny

or whoa, that's crazy to think about. And they do, Nappy and Jay do, uh, like dating a relationship advice type podcast from the perspective of two best friends two guys in their mid-20s it's kind of like call her daddy for dudes ish so um anyways I was listening to them and they read tweets so this is something they saw on Twitter I believe and it goes like this um your wife or girlfriend is being kidnapped 30 minutes away and you're dry you're gonna drive to go save her it's a warm night and your windows are down are you playing music on the way to save her so I put a little poll on Instagram yes or no and I think let me check it what did most people say I think most people said yes we'll play music like you got to bump music to get your um get

yourself in the in the you know rescue mood or whatever okay wait where is it 64 said yes 36 said know. I got, let me see what songs people said they were, they would play. Um, here comes the boom on repeat. Um, yeah. Someone's like, you need to pump up, you need pump up music to get ready to fight. Um, I don't know. I just thought it was funny. They said that on their show and I was like, that's really good. It's like you're, it's a warm breezy summer night and you're going to rescue your wife who's being kidnapped and like held at gunpoint or some crazy shit and you're like realistically like are you playing music are you playing music what would I do I think at that point I'd have like too much adrenaline and I would just be in the zone and I'd be locked into

my mission and I would be like you know just thinking about what I'm about to get into and I couldn't get I wouldn't like music would feel would like make me more anxious and like feel crazy. So do those fight or flight moments in life. Um, I've been there many times and, um, yeah. Did I tell the story of me hiding in a cornfield once with a knife? Yeah. I hid in a cornfield. Let me tell the story again. I don't think I've told it since like September. I came home from school when I was in like, I don't know. I feel like I was like a sophomore in high school I feel like I was not super young anyways for whatever reason I came home alone from school and I heard a door slam in my house or like it moved and I freaked out that

someone was in the house to the point where it was so unusual like that's it seems like someone's in here when I was home alone that I was immediately like heart stopped like slow motion I'm like grabbing a knife getting out of my house flipping the fuck out and I ran into the cornfield behind her chicken coop and I just hunkered down and then next thing I know I hear a chainsaw go off or like a saw and it happened to be my dad working on our pool house just like out cutting wood and whatever so yeah I've had some like but that's like one of many moments where my adrenaline's been pumping them like in fear of life in fear of my life like when I had to run from a pack of dogs once or like sketchy hiking things or just I have a whole list um but those are things like I keep

they're like sacred my fight or flight life or death moments I feel like those are honestly really interesting stories but some things you just got to keep to yourself and you don't need to tell the world and i feel like those are those are some the some of the shit i i share a lot but the there i keep those to my um those are for very close uh relationships only and we're merely acquaintances here on the jockeys show no you're a best friend but whatever um yeah i think i i told you guys the dog story once yeah i did i had to throw potatoes at the dogs and like save my mom and like use my bike to shield her and I and there was like a tall like a seven foot tall black dude that was coming after it was a whole thing um oh god can I even say that

it is what it is like I'm just saying okay anyways canceled whatever okay so I'm feeling great let's just get into what I've been up to today um I'll be honest I failed myself I slipped up on my bedtime last night and I feel it I know this is boring but I'm on this journey right now to get my shit together and I said I want to go to bed every night at 10 30 or like lights out at 10 30 no matter what and I've been pretty consistent with that until last night I looked at my phone and it said 00606 a fucking military time because I'm OCD since I left London since everything's military time over there I literally studied abroad for a short period of time and then never changed my time on like my phone is always military time I have this like oh

is there I have certain quirks like the whole running like I I told you guys how I like my golf and running thing I do that combo on the treadmill like I had a whole like I I get fixated or I get like OCD about something where I can't it's just what I do it is what it is and the, um, I'm just telling you this cause I looked at my phone. It said zero six. It was, uh, 1206 AM. Okay. Zero, zero. Cause your phone at midnight goes zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero. How many zero four zeros at midnight? If it's all military time, whatever. So fucking, I know I'm annoying. Sorry. Uh, but I looked at my phone last night guys, and I was on Tik TOK and I got sucked the fuck in until 1206 a.m. and then at 330 it was pouring down rain and it woke

me up and then Jimmy came up to cuddle with me and that woke me up and I had broken sleep and then I still woke up at my normal 6 a.m. time and I just felt like shit and then I ended up sleeping until 8 so I had like this weird sleep last night I'm sure I'm feeling it I feel good like it's great, I feel good, I just drank a ton, fucking coffee, thank God, slow down, chocolate, yeah, it's wild how you go two weeks, go into bed at the same time, and then you miss one night, and then you kind of just, I don't know, am I aging, is this what happens when you get old, I gotta be disciplined, I'm trying to work on that, and so tonight, yeah, I'll get to bed at 10.30. I'm getting a massage, by the way. Here's an update. Enough about my bedtime and that

useless information for you. Something new to tell you. So I'm getting a 90-minute massage tonight. A massage and body scrub. And I'm so excited. I feel like it's going to be the, like the, so it's like the one-year anniversary of COVID. And it's, the spring is, you know, springing outside and I'm about to go get my like body like resurfaced and like like it's like the the what is it called it's like a reboot a refresh a body refresh a massage and a body scrub like they're gonna I'm pretty sure scrub my entire body head to toe so I'm I'm so excited um that's happening tonight it's gonna be like a late night massage so that'll be perfect before bed and then I'll sleep like a baby but I already do that because I do yoga before bed and I feel amazing

and dude life is life is really good right now and I'll move I'll say away from that saying life is really good right now to the phone call I just had with my mom who is concerned for me and my mental health and she's like look if I'm struggling and having you know thoughts about how much I want to like shake people's hands and hang out with people and like you know whatever what she said something along the lines of like you know her life is not normal anymore and she's like itching for it to go back because of her job and everything's remote and zoom and blah blah blah blah she's like so I was thinking Jacqueline if I'm feeling this way and I have you know my your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and everyone and your sister everyone's all around me

all the time I'm like I was thinking about you Jack like how you're by yourself how are you like you're alone you must be feeling like shit and she listens to my podcast and I guess she senses that I'm fucking lonely or something and that my life is hell and it's honestly not so I had to tell her and I think I'm is this am I packing am I packaging this up correctly I think I just said I feel good. And then I said, my mom thinks I'm not doing well, but I actually am. So let me circle that back around to, yes, I am feeling good. I've been super happy lately. And I think what I'm seeing is the light at the end of the tunnel with myself and COVID and the world. And you know, I'm in this, I'm in a really good place mentally. And

um you would think yeah she's right like why am I doing why would how come I'm not a depressed fucking mess you know living the life I live and it's honestly it's exactly the opposite I think I finally just figured out how to be happy alone and really like my myself and enjoy my time with my puppy and just whatever you know my simple little life and that's just what it is and I'm not making, I think the difference now with my brain and how I, uh, approach my life and how I look at it is I don't have any, um, expectations or what's it called? I've had expectations for myself, but I don't, um, like I am a harsh critic on myself. I'm a very, like I'm, I'm a competitive with certain things in my personal life,

but I'm not putting a lot of expectations on should I should be doing right now because of the current events and current times. I've let that, I've just released that. And I've said, look, you're doing the best you can. You're making do with what you've got during this weird time. And I flipped the script and I've reframed it to go,

or to say that, look, I'm grateful for this time. I'm glad this is how I'm doing it. I'm glad I'm not, um, stressed out about, uh, going out there and like meeting and greeting and flinging myself around and getting, uh, back into the social game with lots of activities and people around me all the time and whatever, you know, my mom thinks I should be doing, which I agree. Like, yes, I should. But I, when I say I see the light at the end of the tunnel I feel like that's gonna happen this summer with just the nature of things opening up and herd immunity and vaccines everything's gonna kind of fucking phase back to that I'm sensing it I'm feeling really optimistic and that's kind of why I'm able to stay happy in uncertain times so

anyways is that also boring I don't know do you ever just notice how wait water is so good I should do a water filter update. I got body shamed for using plastic water bottles. Um, I use it. I was drinking crystal geyser one time and I got body shamed for using plastic. So, um, like the next day I bought a water filter on Amazon and I, I gushed about it at first. I was like, it's got disco lights on it. It lights up at night. So you can like see the water come out and there's like a butnia press and it's really high tech. It looks like a Nespresso machine, but for water, it's super sweet. And I got all excited about it, but I haven't talked to you guys or I haven't updated you guys if I really like it yet since I've had it for a couple months

now and still going strong. Um, the water tastes, tastes great. I'm, I'm noticing I'm drinking a lot more water now. And is this like also boring? Why am I saying that? The theme of the show, is this also boring it's fun to watch people struggle walking up the hill by me because it's so steep and they like this guy was on his bike and he did that you know when you see there's like a look in someone's eyes when they're pushing their bike at the very last part of the hill like they were trying to get up it you know on their own like they could do it they can make it to the top and they don't and then it's just a look of defeat and then a really dramatic exhausted push like the their arms are fully extended face is kind of down they're lunging forward up the

hill and at the top they stop and they they sit there and um and cry because it's they thought they could make it and they can't and I see that every day and that's the that's the benefit of living in a city with a lot of hills and um unfit people so people watching segment there you go I rarely do this anymore. You know, the last time I did people watching every episode was during a time when I was really ambitious about podcasting first thing in the morning. And it was like, it was like, wake up. I went to a coffee shop. I worked out at the gym. I don't have a gym membership anymore. I quit that. Um, sounds crazy, but to myself, like, I think it sounds crazy to myself because I've been a gym rat. Like I've, I love the gym. I love going to

the gym, but I, um, I stopped going, I think November I quit my membership right before I went home for a month. Yeah. And now I just do yoga at home and go on walks and runs with my puppy. But, um, Oh, what was I going on this tangent for unfit people? Wait, what was that city? Um, Oh my God, dude, brain cells out the window. Whoa. How did I go from hiccups to people pushing bikes to fitness um oh the people watching segment so yeah the last time I did it was like I don't know November September through November when I talked to you guys every morning about man bun neighbor man bun neighbor who's like hot from a distance and I he actually was hot up close but he had a girlfriend slash fiance slash wife I never knew and they would walk their

dogs all the time while I recorded and I'd always comment on I like I made up a story about them like I would always talk about them and refer to them he's like a personal trainer I don't know what she did but it was like a whole thing and honestly I'm pretty sure he's single now honestly there's never or no no no he's always by himself with his dog except like once a week I've been noticing a girl coming over a new girl with her own dog and they walk their dogs together so I think that's his new piece and it looks I mean they look good together so I'm proud of him or I'm happy for him looks like she's the the bounce bounce back bitch or what do they call it the rebound bitch what do you I'm always that chick I'm what does it say about me that when a guy

breaks up with his girlfriend I'm the hey what how are you what's up hey is that does that mean I'm what is that fuck am I not the the wifey I'm the side piece I'm the fucking what does that mean because I have wife material written all over my I that I am a I exude that energy I feel like that's what I give off right wholesome down to earth humble is that does that mean I'm okay I'm not, I'm not a hoe. I don't have a Snapchat. I'm not a hoe. I don't have an OnlyFans. I'm not, um, I don't, now I feel judgmental if people do those things and they're also wifey material because that's a thing. Like, you can do what you want now as a woman, but I'm just, uh, why did I say that? Damn it. You get what I mean? Like, I think I've explained myself so many times

on the show how I just kind of want to be that wife mom boring not boring life but like simple life I guess and like take care of my man and my family and like I don't know that's just kind of like deep down that's what she wants that's what the heart wants I don't want to be an independent boss babe who's like you know single forever and like she's like a she travels the world and she's like a cool aunt and she doesn't have no man and doesn't need no man and she can take care of herself like I'm exactly the opposite of that like no I want to be taken care of I want to yeah okay so uh do I have a high opinion of myself or am I just confident what is that what's the difference I'm confident here's the thing I'm confident now in what I want

and I'm confident in who I am does that make sense I've let me break this down yeah I think it's clear to me now what I want in this life which wasn't clear literally a year ago like I didn't take time like I update man but neighbor a new girlfriend walking they have fucking how many dogs I think they're the neighborhood dog walkers at this point one she's holding one two three four dogs they got a chocolate lab it looks like a chihuahua I can't see the other one looks like some sort of terrier they're both wearing hats cute couple yeah there you go mamba neighbor and his new girlfriend I just talked about them and here they are isn't that funny how that works uh okay but no a year ago I never really I wasn't clear

like everything's clear now because of 2020 and this podcast and talking it out I know what I want now and I'm a lot more confident in myself and like I I know I guess I'm my self-awareness is or self is that what it's called is I fucking I don't know I don't now I feel like again this podcasting is also awkward for me because it's like all about me self-indulgent self-centered I'm just sitting here it's literally like listen to me talk about myself and what I like about myself and saying that I'm and like literally offering up to you guys or volunteering the information that, um, I'm confident and I'm, I like myself and I know what I want. Why does that feel gross to say? Why does that feel gross? Is that, is that, is there some sort

of insecurity there? I feel no, because I, I really don't care. Like if I tell you guys, I feel confident and I know who I am now. That's not bullshit. But for some reason it feels like pretentious. It feels cocky. It feels like, yeah, is that cocky? No, it is what it is. You know what? Fuck it. It is what it is. It is what it is. Okay. So yeah, when you're in the womb, you uh hiccup so you can breathe IRL in real life and wow you learn something new every day so what else did I do today like how I just slithered out of that awkward conversation with myself about confidence and knowing who I don't know I think should I add something back to that should I like I tried to transition and I'm like

wait I want to go back wait I'm not done with that um part of this pod so this podcast has helped has helped me in so many ways obviously but just it's helped me say it like it is or feel confident enough to say it like it is and then that's helping reaffirm or confirm in my brain like who i am based on how i think and like what my ideas and opinions are because before it was like you know i'd think some shit in my head and then it would just kind of sit around or like fade away where if you say the same things over and over and over and over and over again every single day you keep telling your life story you keep sharing your authentic self with the world and you're like you know every day of the

week you're doing a podcast you start going whoa this is fucking me like wow I get I know myself now I get I'm I'm really getting to know myself now in a cool way and it's it feels solid and it feels good and I don't know okay I want to move on what am I going to do tonight I am I got a mom coming this weekend sounds weird to say that that way my mom's coming over so tonight I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna clean up and do all that mom prep tomorrow actually because she's not coming till the afternoon we're gonna go out to dinner and it's gonna be great um it's actually gonna be at one of my favorite restaurants which I'm stoked about and then we're gonna do like a little road trip or something fun this weekend and obviously go

to Costco. Uh, I think I told you guys that yesterday. I was like, you know, that's what moms are for. Parents are for, that's what your parents are for. You know, coming over, hanging out with you and buying your, buying you groceries or, you know, taking care of your, your shit. That's kind of nice. And they want to do it. Like I don't stop her from doing, I'm like, mom, like I, it's fine. Like I literally shop at Whole Foods. Um, I'm doing well, but is that a flex? literally okay you guys know my theory about groceries and how whole foods isn't expensive I've broken it down before but um whatever it's just it's just nice you feel it feels good when your parents buy you groceries and like ball out at Costco and they're like yeah let's stock your

entire house with bulk-sized everything so you never run out and I love that because I love yellow mustard and the size of the yellow mustard um bottles at Costco are so big and I never run out of mustard when my mom goes to Costco with me and the pesto I'm gonna get the Costco pesto which I love I really need a Costco card I think I should do that but um but anyways tonight yeah I'm gonna do yoga here in a bit and then um yoga am I rebranding am I branding myself as a yogi I don't know. Here's the thing about that. I, I, I do yoga because of how amazing I feel literally at the last, in the last 10 minutes, I do yoga for the last 10 minutes because you're so, it's insane. You just feel so good. And I'm talking like after a hard class,

after doing class for an hour and it's like a power yoga flow and it's tough, like those last 10 minutes feel like they're like unlike anything else fitness wise it's just what it's just how yoga makes your body feel i guess so that's why i do it but as far as like the spiritual stuff the yogi words the phrases the beads the what is it called the you know the candles and the what are those little sticks the incense and the meditative shit about it i don't really i'm not that's not i'm like literally like i got a mat and i got a dude talking to me on youtube named travis elliott who isn't too fluffy and spirit he doesn't get too out there and weird with his words not that that stuff's weird just like it doesn't resonate with

me i guess and so yeah that's what i do i treat it like i'm going off to the gym and i'm lifting some weights it's it's just my body and the mat it's i don't over i'm not like immersed in that yogi world of like sound balls and shit or whatever those things are called like you guys know what I'm talking about. What's that stuff? People light on fire and put around their house. Jade. No, not Jade. Sage. Like saging. I'm just like, I don't know. Fucking like, is it's got yoga on the, you know what I'm thinking of? It's like yoga on Instagram has kind of got a vibe to it. And I just don't really, I don't know. All right. Enough about that. I'm going to do yoga. Can't wait. Um, and then go, Oh yeah. I have to like fully, I'm going to do

like a full, I'm going to do like, I'm getting my body scrub tonight and the massage. It's like part of the massage package. You like get both. Um, but I'm going to, I'm going to like do it myself first. So I show up and it's like, I'm going to take off the first layer and then they're gonna take off the next 10 because god I do need it I feel like it's been a year of just like callousy my body is so calloused of like trauma from 2020 like it's I have good skin but like I know it could be better and I know I just need a good I need to go to the it's like I need a car wash you know what I mean it's good to get little things done I really want to go to a lymphatic drainage place too where they like massage the shit out of your abs and like drain all the fluids

in your legs and stuff there's so many treatments people get now and it's only like I wouldn't know about any of this stuff unless I um if I didn't follow follow um like I guess influencers or people on social media like they post about all the time and like whoa you're sitting in a wrap thing and it's sucking the fluid out of your body and all of a sudden you get out and you're like 10 pounds lighter and you just feel snatched and I'm all for it. That's why I love saunas. That's one thing I do miss about my gym. I miss that for a year. Like my, I love the sauna. And the reason I went to the gym I went to is because like that was part of, like there's a sauna there and I go after every workout or sometimes I just, I just go there for the sauna.

And I miss that. I kind of want to get, can I get one here? You know, I got space for one. I could do like a personal infrared sauna in my place I dude how much are those infrared sauna amazon.com everything's on amazon right is that a bad idea probably my landlord but how much energy would that take probably a lot infrared I literally looked up yesterday there's a place by me that does it's like a sauna place and anyways the membership like unlimited membership per month is like 600 I think it was 685 a month 685 a month for unlimited sessions and I'm like something seems off I'm like is that I know it's like a nice place and like the saunas are really great but like I don't know that seems like a lot to pay for sauna a month

for unlimited unlimited i could see like maybe like 300 but 685 is like what the fuck here i'm gonna write homes home sauna these are all the ones you like sit in oh there we go oh fourteen hundred dollars two person low emf far infrared sauna 140 ratings almost five stars not bad that would be so nice but are there things to compare it to 2000 what about a one-person sauna let me see if that's a thing are you guys is this boring wait I can't say that one-person sauna for home oh that'd be so nice you know another thing I want to do is turn my

um yoga place I want to turn my yoga room into a hot hot yoga place where I'm going to get one of those heaters and see here here's what I I have on the Amazon list right now for yoga I need a a heater a humidifier an aromatherapy diffuser because mine broke and those twinkle lights that make the room look like outer space and that is how I want it to be I okay you guys are gonna watch me turn into a pretzel like I've committed to it I told you guys I've done yoga since what was it November and I'm really starting to feel like my body's changing to the to the point where I can or I'm getting flexible to the point where I can do fun poses again and like I don't know so it's kind of my only mission this year um literally three years ago was it 2018 I said

because that's when I started doing yoga for the first time where I did I went to an actual studio and I said by the end of this year I want to be able to do a press handstand and then I never did it and so this year I feel like I should I well I think it's just going to naturally happen if I keep going every day but okay and I also thought of this this is not about yoga this is just about life here's the life advice thing I learned in my 20s I guess my biggest epiphany or biggest lesson I've learned in my 20s so far was or is that you have to commit to something like you have to pick something and stick with it. And obviously I knew about consistency. I obviously knew about, you know, 1% better every day. That's something that's kind of been like a duh.

You know, I understood that, but what would happen is I would be consistent and work on getting 1% better every day at X, Y, and Z thing. And then I'd stop doing it and jump on some new ship. And then I do that. And then it would never, I never was consistent with any one thing and so my biggest or one of the biggest lessons I've learned is the there's so much uh life feels more fulfilling and like more full and I feel more I feel like I'm getting further in life when I've when I commit to like one or two things or like for example yoga podcasting and then you know that's one of them helps my body stay fit and strong and healthy and then the other one helps me creatively this whole podcast is creative expression

um I look at it as art I'm uh fucking you know whatever am I artistic with my words I don't fucking know it's uh not that deep but this is like my favorite way to be creative is uh talking and shooting the shit with myself and whatever and then that yeah there's like that quote it's like find a hobby that or find something that makes you money. So that's like my job. Find something that makes you fit. That's my yoga. Find something that makes you find a hobby that makes you creative. Um, that's podcasting. And then to find something that makes you smarter, like education. And that's honestly TikTok. TikTok's my, no, TikTok university. No, I'd say for education I like I'd like to say I read a shit ton of books which is not true but I

watch a lot of YouTube videos and I listen to a ton of podcasts and I like I'm reading all day long like I'm like on um I'm reading a lot of articles and things on online and I don't know I still no matter what I feel like no matter how smart I get or whatever no matter how much knowledge I can or education I consume fucking information I consume um I don't think I'll ever feel I'll never be like oh I feel sophisticated and smart I think there's just something about my personality type or just the way I talk or and and think that's super um like casual yeah I'd say that's how I I'd label it like I'm pretty casual and I don't don't, uh, I'm not very eloquent or fucking, I shouldn't say that about myself. I'm not very

fucking nerdy or here's what you guys haven't experienced yet with me. And this is the truth. You guys haven't experienced me, uh, maybe a few times I've had done a few interviews with family, but it's kind of like this. You haven't experienced me talking to someone else who's like smarter than me and like uh someone that like stimulates my mind and who's we're having a really interesting conversation because that's when my casual vibe will flip into I'm fucking you know I get kind of I nerd out and I can I can you know I don't say you know so much you know you know Jimmy sit down boy you just had your nap time and now you're excited now you have

energy post nap energy hi yeah you're getting big he likes his little nose rubbed um does that make sense because if I had to like respond back to someone and we're having a conversation about fucking the economy or politics or whatever I would I'd have more to say than just me talking to myself about it. I'd be like, I don't know. We'll see when we get there. Right. Stay tuned. Guess someday, maybe in five years, who knows? All right. So I guess, what did I explain? I'm going to do yoga, go to a massage. My mom's coming tomorrow. I had to clean the house. I also just sew Jimmy's toys up. I was going to do that this morning and I didn't. Um, he's okay dude the thumb that hurts really bad hey I can't yell at you because I don't want to

get called in for animal abuse okay I don't abuse my puppy I don't yell well you know he's uh he's gotten to talking to before he's gotten a little and I believe honestly uh this is probably wrong this is probably inhumane this is probably not uh this is probably this probably I should go to prison or I should go to jail for abusing for animal abuse after saying this but um the last so the reason I believe my puppy stopped taking a shit on my floor um the last time he did it I cracked okay and I went in my kitchen I cracked I went my kitchen I grabbed the biggest paddle I had my biggest uh spatula it was wood I had and I placed it firmly on his skull and I hit him about 15 times until he cried and started bleeding I'm

kidding okay that's fucked up no Jesus I didn't do that but like the way so guys I told you that was a joke that I don't abuse my puppy the last time he took a shit I I've been really I wasn't honest about this like my style with potty training was so I wasn't very good at I don't like yelling at him and I have a hard time being aggressive and assertive with him and like it's hard to parent him because it's just not natural for, I just want to be nice to him. And so it's tough. And I'm like, oh, poor guy had an accident. Instead of yelling at him, I'm like, oh, it's okay, buddy. You'll, you'll ring the bell and go outside next time. Or, you know, I was too, I was too nice. So literally the last time he shit inside, I had a firm fucking grip on

his collar and he kind of squealed a little bit. And I just like, I screamed like a, not scream, but I got so firm and I yelled at him so hard and he hasn't shit since. And is that comparable? Is that just as bad as hitting him with a wooden spoon? Is that abuse? I don't know. I think that's what you have to do. I mean, some people hit their dogs, right? Do people splash water on their face? I was also told you take their nose and then you dip it in their shit so that they, you know, smell it and it's like all over their face and they won't do it anymore. But whatever. He's fully potty trained in time for my mom visiting because that would be annoying if she was here and he was pooping everywhere um where was I at so yeah tomorrow told you guys what I'm doing today

oh stimulus passed officially right I heard Biden's also giving a speech about coronavirus like the one year anniversary that's a weird fucking time um let me go to cnn.com shit's happening wasn't there like a car chase in california yesterday hit and run those wild big headline on cnn.com right now biden to direct states to open vaccine eligibility the president is expected to make the announcement tonight then the move may allow for small july 4th gatherings gatherings that's the that's the word for that's code word for parties oh wow I don't know if anything else is happening

on the news inventor of the cassette tape dies Jesus Christ I haven't heard like cassette tape I haven't heard that or thought of that since I was like in my dad's truck going to school and he would have

fucking Ozzy Osbourne on or we'd put in um fucking van halen or what's this other pearl jam boston what else um acdc what was all those fucking rock bands right i'm going off the rails welcome to the jungle oh oh shit what's the song sweet carolina oh fuck what's it called i hear the little jingle in my head i can't think of the

name of the song when the lights go down in the city and the sun shines on the bay dude oh shit do people listen to those songs anymore or i don't i do i like i mean you know what i'm putting that on my calendar right here spotify playlist spotify classic rock playlist i miss listening to that music um okay enough about me how are you doing what's up so what's happening on cnn.com back to that i didn't give you a single chance to let a word in that's just what it's like to be friends with me how are you doing actually i'd rather talk about politics opinion biden should team up with mexico someone wrote about that we could read team up let's get their guacamole recipe let's get their national guacamole recipe because dude

they just do the food so much better over there can we just be mexico what the fuck it was like my Tuesday episode is all about my appreciation for Mexican culture what should I click here entertainment let's go to the CNN entertainment tab Matthew McConaughey is considering Texas governor run I can see it oh okay speaking of Matthew McConaughey I realized why I like Travis Elliott yoga classes on youtube he sounds like matthew mcconaughey without the twang he doesn't have that he doesn't have the twang but his voice should i play let me play some of his shit let's get someone else's um wait i just got a question a dm

just curious though but like are you sort of famous now responding no not at all what how am I kind of famous joke dude if I was to ever be famous I would not I would I don't isn't everyone famous now everyone's famous because of everyone's an influencer everyone has a fucking podcast a youtube channel everyone's an influence it's just like what is being famous anymore it's dumb it's not even like a I think if you're being paparazzi you're famous i would say if you're at that level then i consider you famous like if people are coming up to you on the streets if you're i guess but you could be famous for other shit like being a politician and you're known for i don't know it's like a different type of famous okay what

was i gonna look up oh travis elliott youtube travis elliott yes let me go to the one i did happy hour here we go oh shit I play the beginning he's the best yoga teacher I've ever found now in your first down dog feel free to walk out your dog

just alternating one heel down towards the ground at a time pedaling out through those feet starting to work through whatever kinks that you have in your body right now just beginning does that sound like matthew mcconaughey or wait let me find like a different part nice you guys now spin your back left foot flat on the ground turn your right foot in parallel literally doesn't sound like him at all but it's like how i i don't know i can't wait like you know you like a sport or an activity when you literally look forward to it you're just like like i know some people love going to the gym and lifting weights and like they look they're like oh my god it's my the gym is my church just rolling my yoga mat out gets me

so excited i'm like yes because here's what happens i i know it's bad to sit all day i don't like the standing desk thing i'm just i like a desk where i sit okay so what happens is i sit all day I'm on the couch taking a nap at one point I'm like kind of sluggish and not very mobile all day I do walk my puppy every couple hours but there's something about like working every little kink out after the work day that's why I do it at five and then you're like body's just like everything's just like it feels good you're making these little micro adjustments you're doing these poses you're stretching and it just like puts all the I don't know the kinks at bay and you're just like i'm a person again and i feel good and i guess you're when you deep

breathe in yoga it's like oxygenating your blood and then when you stretch it's like bringing more blood flow to that area and that's how you become um that's how your body becomes more flexible i guess or something i don't know there's science behind it the yogi way of moving or the yogic way of breathing and moving at the same time is it's something special so who's annoyed with me do you guys like yoga I don't even consider you guys do you like yoga so apparently Beyonce thanks Meghan Markle for her courage and leadership wow again I don't care what you had to respond there about yoga I just had to move on to me and what I'm looking at here um dude not a fan the Meghan

Markle thing not a fan um I don't think I've talked about it very much or at all did I talk about it the Oprah interview um yeah I just think it's all fucked just fucked I don't know what else is happening here just 44 items that will make you smile in 2021 what else would be fun to tell you guys right now should I read those I don't want to read those 44 items let me click a different tab culture let's click the culture tab um I don't know guys I think this is kind of coming down I don't have a lot to say here Biden's saying something tonight though what did I read

he's supposed to make a speech tonight or announcement the thing that people hate and I'm on board with it or they just are like what the fuck is he won't answer he won't take any questions here he is signing a 1.9 let's just call it a two trillion dollar dollar bill and like he won't answer a single question or take a question i just feel like i get it like he would probably slip up or trip up or i don't know like there he doesn't have he's not i don't know he should have a person speak for him i don't know but because to me it'd be a train wreck of some reporter if like he was getting asked a bunch of questions i feel like it'd be a fucking train wreck which I've seen in the past like there's a lot of times where he's

like walking out of a speech or a press conference whatever they call him and he's taking a few questions it's just kind of sloppy and confusing and you're just like okay whoa but um yeah it doesn't feel like a 2020 round two a little bit but apparently you know I think this summer I honestly by Chris I don't think we're I think we're gonna be I'd say summer is the beginning of the end of the of this if that makes sense summer fall winter but then like a new strain or like a mutation does it just get worse who fucking knows so many people have it I've like you're you're gonna get coronavirus at some point I haven't but I'm also not around people at all so shout out choosing the simple life without friends right now because a bitch doesn't have very many

um and I and I you know I struggled with that for a while in 2020 and I said look it is what it is I'm not going to judge myself for that I'm you know I got my whole life to make friends you know what you don't I think if I'm gonna just go and try to make friends for the sake of having people to talk to and have friends because I'm for what like it's gotta be or I want it to be natural I want it to be uh I don't want to force making friends right now I gotta make friends with myself and I'm like on I'm like 95% healed with my bullshit my pre-2020 bullshit I I feel like I'm, I'm at that breaking point where I'm like, okay, I'm, I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent there, but I feel like majority, like, yeah, 95, 95, 95%.

I'll stop doing that. 95%, 95. I can't even say it. I'm breathing too hard. 95% of the shit I deal with pre-2020 is kind of gone now. It is gone now. it's not a monkey on my back anymore I've cut the bullshit out and I've figured myself out and I yeah so shout out um 2020 and isolation and podcasting every day because

dude talking yourself is the cure get get on a microphone or just talk in the shower to yourself something about it you feel this closeness that you've you can't you really can't feel that any other way in my opinion this is from personal experience so this is what's working for me but having conversations literally not written conversations in your journal or thoughts in your head like through meditation like actually making noise and talking to yourself is is that insane or is that amazing it's probably a little bit of both but it's working for me and I can't recommend it enough so um live laugh love happy thursday i gotta get on my mat here in about 15 minutes can't wait

and uh go to a massage tonight so hope you had a great thursday yeah they got four dot wait one two three five dogs they're walking back man but neighbor oh their dogs have little coats on because it was raining see that that should be me what's that song that should be me holding her hand my chippy here's a bunch more here's a bunch of people a bunch of friends out on a walk like an afternoon walk with ice iced coffees like millennial age that should be me i'm low-key about to just walk up to a group of people and be like hey can i be your friend can we be friends I don't hey look will you can I just be in this crew you look fun you look nice let's hang out

I'm at that stage in in my here I started the podcast saying I'm not lonely my mom thinks I'm lonely and depressed I'm not lonely and I'm ending it with like I'm gonna ambush friend groups and just be like yo fucking let me slide in and be in the group is that and again that's that goes against me wanting it to happen naturally that's literally me forcing having friends i'm a walking contradiction what is it called everyone's a hypocrite everyone's a everyone's a fucking loser what was that you're not a loser everyone is just um we're all a little bit of a mess especially right now and you think here's where here's where i'm at i think i want something one

day the next day i don't sometimes that can happen within five minutes like oh five minutes later i'm i'm thinking something different and you just witnessed that do you need to go pee pee yeah bubba your nose is not very dark how come you have a light nose he's a light nose for a golden retriever i think it's gonna get dark as he gets older but it's very light i'm not body shaming you I'm just saying that did you dip your nose in bleach boy let me get your eye boogie up I get his eye boogies out all day his little sleepy eyes get boogies in them oh who's jealous I have a puppy I have the cutest puppy of all time golden retriever puppies name a cuter puppy I'll wait actually I won't I don't care it's a golden retriever it's just it's the cream cream the

crop cream of the cream of the crop nothing like him bubba we'll go walk he's getting so big I can't stand it all right love you guys hope you had a great day hit that subscribe button I'll be here tomorrow I'll be I think I might podcast with my mom tomorrow night whatever we'll find out um and then head over to patreon.com slash tjms to support the show and get access to more of my content i do videos i post extra pictures they're exclusive content i do friday shout outs i do phone calls so go check it out at patreon.com slash t j m s love you guys lots have a great day and i will talk to you tomorrow bye