The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 19- Burrito Tuesday

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

It's Burrito Tuesday! I talk about getting bullied, sharks swimming in volcanoes, Japan's new flying car, my childhood idols, and of course, my love for podcasting. Have a great day!! :) 

Episode 19. Welcome back to the podcast. Happy Tuesday. How's it going? How's your week going so far? I know I talked to you yesterday and the day before and the day before that and the day before that. We're on episode 19. 19 episodes in 19 days. Wow, it's crazy. But I have a lot to talk about today and I'm really excited. First off, I decided that Tuesday, because I'm naming each day, I'm going to have like a theme for each day, is going to be Burrito Tuesday because I'm a burrito bitch I don't fuck with tacos I like burritos over tacos and yeah I'm thinking you know what a way for me to be quirky and different than most people because I have this weird personality trait thing that's like I just want to be 100% the opposite of what's trendy and what's

cool um I don't know where that comes from but I want to have a um a name for each day of the week for the podcast we have thick Thursday so far and Tuesday's gonna be burrito Tuesday so has anyone else thought of that before probably not just me let's take my first sip of coffee for the podcast I got a school bus going down the street right now I'm always people watching you know me yesterday I was really depressed I only could all I got all I got to do yesterday for the people watching was car shame I shamed a Prius in a car in a fucking semi truck that was parked down a hill illegally and um anyway so I'm hoping more people pop out today I think man bun neighbor is uh, I don't know what's going on. He hasn't been out in two days. So anyways, it's going to be a

great show. Um, anyways, burrito Tuesdays, that's stupid. That's just my brain going like, Ooh, that's kind of creative and different. I love burritos. Okay. Let's talk about surf and turf burritos, steak and shrimp in a burrito. I, I just, that's all I'm going to say. I discovered that this year. Wow. Cause I would usually get like a carne asada or like a chicken burrito, but when you put that steak and that shrimp together this is not a show for vegans so if you're vegan I was a former vegan for three two two or three years I understand I get it but I'm not vegan anymore and um this show might not be for you if I talk about eating carcasses of animals okay so people watching person number one we have a oh she's so cute she's like probably 72

she's got these like I don't know how to describe it like galactic yoga pants on they're like you know the galaxy print pink sneakers two dogs she's got like a she's got a wolf like a Siberian wolf and what's the other dog that's like I don't know it's kind of ugly honestly um but yeah she's got white hair down to her shoulders she definitely gets that colored it's really cute though anyway so yeah and I don't recognize her so she's probably a new a new neighbor okay so let's dive into things um wow um okay so I'm practicing today with my studio lights because starting next Thursday I realized October 1st is on a bullshit day of the week it's like a Thursday I'm going to start my YouTube video podcast format so anyways I'm practicing with my new

studio lights today and it's kind of weird I'm like I don't know if I'm used to this but hey I gotta buck up if I was gonna you know do the whole news reporter thing I was gonna do back in the day this is what it would look like just early morning getting blinded by studio lights so kind of practicing trying to like make sure everything looks good before I start and um yeah they were really cheap on Amazon it's like 42 bucks because I'm like not trying to take this too seriously yet um but I got these two um two lights yesterday and they're they're perfect and they're I like that they're small because they don't take over my my little studio too much here um okay and you know what I had a realization about um I don't think okay so I'm

a daily podcaster we've already established this but I just I'm nervous guys because I don't think YouTube I don't think YouTube has a storage capacity for a daily podcaster to come in at like post 70s a week an hour plus and I'm just I don't know like I'm just a little nervous about that um is that like I'm trying to be funny you know what I mean though like shit it's just gonna crowd out a lot of people that um take their time you know with their once a week posting of like they spent 18 hours editing an hour down to five minutes and I'm gonna crowd out the space with like fuck it I'm just doing one take and posting it no edits here she comes seven days a week like crowding these bitches out. So anyways, um, but you can't call me. So I know I'm posting on

YouTube starting next week, but you're not allowed to call me YouTuber. I'm not a YouTuber. Okay. What am I? I'm a daily podcaster. All right. We already established that. Um, I don't want to identify as a YouTuber. I'm a fucking podcaster. So a fucking podcast. I think the energy is better today. You know, I, I was really self-conscious with my energy over the last few episodes because I don't know. It's like that time of the month. I'm just like, I'm feeling like flat, but I'm bringing it today I really think this um this uh the coffee hit perfectly for the episode like as soon as I press record there's got to be like a perfect balance between like I don't know like caffeine levels in my body and like I don't know what I'm saying my only my fucking only my only

trick is my iced coffee that's like my party trick that's like the thing that's my personality trait now but I know it's fun when when I talk about coffee I know you guys get all in your feels and you're like I just want to go to Starbucks I just want to be like Jacqueline and get a little you know just a little iced coffee in me I have a friend oh my gosh I miss her so much honestly like she has the best fucking humor ever my friend Cassidy um former we like worked together back at her college and um hi I don't know if you're listening but I miss you and I think you're I love watching your stories you're so funny you're my favorite thing you fucking ever posted Cassidy was when you oh shit we're on a phone call right now I'm just talking to her like directly

so just you guys are witnessing this conversation with me and Cassidy but she does this she does this story every now and then where she talks about like cars on the freeway like there wouldn't be traffic if we filled in the gaps like if every car just tailgated every you know like everyone was just packed in like sardines there wouldn't be traffic but the way she does it is so funny so hi I miss you I'm actually going to talk about I think I'm going to mention like working there today working at that like I wanted to reminisce a little bit because I got a message people like when I reminisce but I kind of wanted to talk about having like a typical like nine to five corporate style job and like kind of go back and talk about that because I think it's I don't know

there's like a lot of talk about how you know people want to break out of that and do their you know do the unconventional like entrepreneurial thing but I think there's what my takeaway from having a regular job is like there's a lot of positives in having um a structure and a routine every day and I don't know like being in that like corporate environment sometimes it's a I I think it's good for some people I think it I think I'm the type of person who likes weirdly likes that um and I do really miss it if I'm being 100% honest with you guys so you know I'm just sitting back doing the podcasting thing now but um who knows maybe I'll uh get behind a little, I don't know, get a name tag again and a little business card and be at a

regular office. Okay. So, wow. I have a lot written down here and we're going to go over my 24 hour update. Oh, I know. I wanted to mention this thought. Um, you know what all this excitement really is? All this, like, I'm just so excited to be a podcaster. I'm just so like, I can't shut the fuck up about it. The excitement is from the fact that I feel this sense of freedom I feel this sense of like oh I'm so like I'm so happy that I didn't because I went to school and I thought I was gonna do broadcasting new stuff and if you know from like previous episodes if you know my like life story I talked about like you know doing journalism shit and studying abroad in London and like doing broadcast like I was trying to become a news reporter at

one point in my college days I went to the more like PR route and anyways but um the whole like excitement and everything now is the realization that like I didn't stick with that and do that thing and now I get to basically I mean I'm in a fucking studio right now I got lights on me I'm doing whatever I want every day and I'm talking about whatever I want I'm not on I'm not I'm not reading a teleprompter and I know that's important that's for other people you know that that's their they are so happy to be in that profession I support that um but I'm just like sitting back and I'm like literally guys I'm my legs are I'm just like I'm just hands above the head you guys I can't wait to show you the video version of this podcast next week it's it's just like you

get to see my full like I don't know just relaxed fucking podcast position what am I saying um yeah but I had that like realization that what am I saying oh yeah and also like the whole thing about how I bitch about or just like kind of rant about influencer culture and stuff I'm so happy I didn't actually ever really take that seriously and do it because now it's like I feel like I'm doing something that allows me to be the most authentic version of myself and it's so exciting like that's what all the excitement really is like I just feel like I found this hobby and this passion now where I feel free I'm like I didn't become a news reporter I didn't become an influencer and I didn't you know drink any of that kool-aid I constantly questioned it

I constantly was like it's not really in alignment with me it didn't ever feel like the right thing personally for me I know it's right for other people again I support you it's awesome you're awesome I it's not there's no like I just have like my own personal opinions about it just from whatever but that you know I know a lot of people might feel like it's I'm just you know a hater and I'm bitter because I'm not cool like you know all these really awesome influencers but to be honest like the what the whole podcasting thing allows me to do is just like literally sit back no pants sweatshirt in my apartment fucking talking about whatever the hell I want and it's fucking freeing and I'm so that's yeah so maybe someday I'll stop talking about how much

I love podcasting but probably not today probably not till episode like 3,000 um that's gonna be in like 10 years I think if we did the numbers right the other day we calculated it's gonna take me three years to hit a thousand so three six I can't do math um okay so cross that off the list just want to mention that thought YouTube is not ready for me um storage capacity I literally wrote that guys I write everything down like you might think a lot of the shit I talk about comes off the top of my head and now it does it doesn't it does over the last like over the last 24 hours these thoughts arrived in my brain but then I I don't want to forget them so I jot them down in my little notebook and then I read it so I'm kind of like fucking I'm catfishing all of you guys

with my uh my off off the cuff thoughts and ideas that just sound so natural but I'm actually reading a fucking script right now so I don't know just like that's a little behind the scenes uh shit you know I want to be 100% honest I think we've established this is a long-term committed relationship and I I don't want to hide anything I don't want to hide anything okay so let's talk about, should I do coffee fact, or should I do the 24-hour update, coffee fact, let's get into it, um, I don't know, I'm honestly kind of getting sick of doing these, they're kind of dry, you know, it's like, oh, coffee was invented in 18, oh my god, oh my god, um, okay, so, anyways um no I'm just not gonna say anything uh I'm alive that's what I'm gonna say I've got a

pulse I'm alive and uh anyways um the simulation just glitched every time I burp just assume that someone upstairs is fucking with me just to like embarrass me on my podcast okay so coffee fact is my voice really deep you know what I realized okay before I get into the coffee fact I realized that I have the most like basic bitch low quality microphone and I feel like it doesn't pick up the high tones of my voice because like how I actually sound in person I feel like is not this I don't know so whatever whatever okay so a man's coffee travels to his semen much like how coffee can enter your blood it can also mix with a man's sperm since coffee is found to raise blood levels there has been research conducted to see if coffee can affect a man's fertility.

According to one study, drinking more than four cups of coffee each day can result in oddly shaped sperm cells cool there's your coffee fact a man's coffee can travel to his semen and you can have oddly shaped sperm cells so is that I feel like I mean I don't know is that like never mind I just like I just don't want to like talk about semen right now but you know what I know I got like a male dominant male dominated audience and now you just learned something so hi um how about that burp how about that burp I um I've got a fellow podcast listener and the part of the fellowship what did I say like two days ago like this is the fellowship I don't even fucking know but he he um I did a live stream last night this took me part of my 24 hour update and he was like counting the

times I was burping on my fucking live stream and I don't think I did it one like he was fucking with me, but I drink a LaCroix, LaCroix, and, um, anyways, I just, I'm letting it fly, I'm letting my, I'm letting everything just, I'm loosey-goosey about it, I'm just letting every bodily function happen, and I'm not editing it, because, anyways, it's the most authentic I can be, honestly, if you guys want me to be, like, Jacqueline 100%, I can't edit out a burp, or bleep it, or whatever, okay so let's talk about my last 24 hours I'm starting to get like honestly like insecure about updating guys on my day because it's kind of like sad I'll be honest I'm like

this year's been weird you know what I mean I'm just kind of writing it out at this point but I don't have a very colorful life I don't have an I don't have a rich social life I don't have all these daily activities of me going to like I don't know I'm like rock climbing here I'm out paddleboarding here I'm going to dinner with my friends over there and like I don't have that and I'm really insecure about that honestly and telling you guys every day that like basically all I do every day is like podcast chill workout nap make dinner fucking sleep repeat and it's all I want to do that's the fucked up part is like it's honestly like all I wanted to do every like every morning I wake up and I'm like my eyes are glistening I'm like of like joy and I'm like I

just can't wait to podcast oh my god okay so I'll shut up about podcasting but and it's not like I'm depressed like when I say I just do a lot of chilling and just like not a lot of activities I realized that like I'm not depressed where I don't have the desire to like do things it's like I just want a podcast I don't want to do anything I don't know how to explain this or I'm like I'm not interested in like I don't know I think okay this is me confessing something really I don't know I'm insecure about this and I actually have told a few people this before but I don't have fun doing things that most people think are really fun like okay this is a really big thing to admit we're really taking the next step in our relationship here but like

this is gonna be a five-hour podcast because I'm just feeling myself I'm like I'm ready to be so vulnerable and let it all out let's take another sip of coffee yeah it's kind of effed up because I a lot of like things that are like you know fun hobbies and activities people do whenever I've been along for the ride to participate I'm just like going through the motions like this isn't even fun I'm bored I don't even know like a good example like honestly the only thing I absolutely am like a diehard I will do it all day long about is um go-kart racing like get me in a go-kart I'm like having the most fun time of my life but like one time I went to this trampoline center thing

and it was like fun but I felt like it wasn't I don't know like it wasn't it didn't live up to the hype a lot of the stuff people do like doesn't live up to the hype I don't know how to explain that or like even going out like honestly going out and drinking and like going to the club and stuff is like not actually that fun I don't know so yeah that's something that's like weird to admit but um I just a lot of times when I'm out with people or I'm doing something like I just don't want to be here right now I'm bored it's not actually like I'm like I'm pretending like I'm trying to have fun but I'm like it's just this is stupid a lot of times I'm like whatever this stupid like we're playing fucking mini golf fuck it you know what I mean get me out on an actual

green. Get me in a golf cart. Let me drive that bitch around. I'm not actually going to play the golf. I'm going to just be, I'll be along for the ride. Now that is fun. Drinking out on a golf course. That's my thing. Don't put me in a mini golf center. Not into it. It's not fun. It's not fun. Um, anyways, so just thoughts. Yeah. What else I do in the last 24 hours? This is a good podcast, isn't it? I'm just checking in with you. Are you feeling okay? Are you like, okay, this was worth it today episode 19 I know it's like an odd number and it's kind of like what the fuck I'm listening to this 70s a week but I feel like you agree that this one is actually worth your time and I'm self-aware I'm like you know what I think this is the best one of the

week so far so hi just fooling myself but just gotta check in um okay what else happened yesterday I ate an apple I wrote that I ate an apple and watched YouTube for five minutes and then I switched to TikTok that's a sentence I wrote my blue ballpoint ink pen here from the company that I lost my job to during COVID I still have their little pen yeah last night I worked out then I did a live stream but I'm gonna jump ahead I ate an apple I ate a Fuji apple it was great um but I realized like sometimes when I eat dinner and watch something which I know is like totally like completely shunned by the people that are like you gotta be mindful don't eat and be distracted but I'm I live alone like I like to get my setup where I'm like make my dinner get

my you know I sit at my table here get my laptop up um sometimes I sleep on arts not sleep I sit on the couch and eat but I just I don't know like it just depends most of the time I'm at my table park my laptop and I watch something for like five minutes and then it's weird like after the food's done and I've finished whatever I'm watching I'm like okay now it's time to go chill on the couch and watch TikTok like if I'm basically distracting myself watching something until I'm done eating And then I'm like, okay, I'm just going to like chill now. So I don't know. I love it though. Honestly, like I'm not shy about like, I'm not grinding at fucking 10 PM. Like, Ooh, it's, you know, work mode up until two. I'm like, no, most of my life is like chill, chill mode. Like

I do a lot. And it's, it's one of those years where I'm like, I don't have a lot of exciting shit to share with you guys. Most of my year. And I'm embarrassed and insecure about telling you guys this has been like me horizontal just like chilling and not doing much and it's kind of like it's weird I don't know I mean I know life is gonna probably get more it's gonna like normalize hopefully over the next year a little bit more and I'll actually be like I don't know like meeting people shaking hands doing shit it's my life is kind of designed to like be a podcaster right now and to have a lot of like downtime to I don't know anyway so I fucking worked out last night same shit different day uh I was really tired I wasn't really like

feeling it so I took it slow like each set I did I like rested like five I don't know like yeah like good five minutes between sets which is whatever but I keep going heavier and I ripped my hands because of yesterday I keep going real heavy on these on these deads and I'm feeling strong. Um, I got a new pad thing to put on the bar. So when I do hip thrust, it doesn't fucking dent my pelvis. Like for the last few weeks when I've been going to the gym, I've been using a towel to like, cause the gym I have doesn't provide like pads or anything. And I don't want to take like, I don't know. So I have this, um, I would use a towel and then now I have like bruises on my hips from fucking hip thrust. Cause anyways, but I finally got a little, you know,

those like pads that go around the bar anyways so that was good I used that yesterday um I look like shit at the gym I wear a gray crew neck oh my god if any boys at the gym are listening I that's that's well designed my I I've talked about this many times I go to the gym and I purposely look like the I try to look so bad I looked so bad I had like hair coming like I had like my bun up with like a ponytail worth of like amount of hair just coming out of the bun not and I was like lifting and it looked like shit my hair's coming down everywhere I'm my gray my gray crew neck is completely soaked and you just see like the outline of my sports bra and I just it's it's disgusting but that's you know it's by design I do that on

purpose I'm not trying to get looked at I'm trying to disgust everyone there um so yeah anyways so I went to the gym did a live stream I shared on my live stream my new intro song by a very talented family member my brother Robert go to SoundCloud it's Rob R-O-B M-O-N Rob Mon but he made a an intro song for me well not for me actually he made this in Vegas at our Vegas trip last year I remember we were like staying up and he was working on it we went to like the Skrillex concert together and it was one of the best nights of my life and anyways he made this song it's kind of Vegas-y if that makes sense like it's just you'll I can't wait to share it with you guys you'll you'll hear it eventually probably by the end of the week but on my live stream last night

I played it for everyone and no one gave me any feedback and there was like five people there so whatever I do a live stream and I don't like it's easy to be like yeah this is a waste of time this is pointless there's like two people watching but excuse me I don't give a fuck I'm just having fun and I feel like the fact that I can even do that I'm taking advantage I can get on a live stream and talk to strangers like I'm doing it I think the other night we got up to like 15 people which was cool because sometimes it's like not worth doing a live stream if you're like just sitting there and no one's even watching because it's like what's the point of this but I shared the song with a few people that were in the in the chat and uh yeah excited about it so that happened

yesterday um okay so oh I didn't do my errands I have this note sticky note of errands I was supposed to do I was supposed to go UPS I got two so I got my Crest White Strips on Autoship or whatever what's it called subscription on fucking Amazon and they sent me like four boxes I don't know what happened like I think I skipped a bunch of months and then they all like came at once one time so I have Crest White Strips to return and I have to go to UPS bring them a form for my PO box which is getting activated this week as soon as I do that because I'm going to have a p.o box you guys can send me new coffee and shit I don't know like just love letters so many love letters I want guys I want you guys to send me love letters like you can be sarcastic or whatever but like

that's the type of fan mail I want and I'm already starting to call you fans episode 19 feeling confident you're my I feel like yeah you're like my what did I call you yesterday my fans are calling my little shitheads, my shitheads, you guys are my shitheads, I don't know, so yeah, I didn't, I did not do my errands yesterday, I was just not, you know, like I said, that time, it's just that time of the month, I'm just not, I took a nap, I don't know, I think I need to work on, yesterday I talked about, I need to work on my caffeine intake, like, readjusting it or whatever, because I'm over, I think I'm overdoing it, and then I crash so hard, and anyways, so yeah, hopefully today I'll do those errands in fact I'm gonna be self-disciplined I'm gonna take out my garbage

which I'm looking at right now I'm gonna do my errands um like right after I put I upload this and yeah like try to be productive oh I did clean my bathroom yesterday I'd scrub the fuck out of it I got this new comet is it called comet I think it's called comet that little powder shit you put on your tile dude that stuff makes my the tiles shiny I was like oh my gosh my bathroom looks brand new this whole time I've been using like soft scrub or whatever it's called and it kind of leaves a it like mattifies the tile but this this comet shit I know I'm jacking my body up so many chemicals just inhaling that shit but I don't know I kind of like it I do kind of get a high off like that smell of cleaning products in my bathroom I love going in it like today when I

went pee in the morning it smelled so clean and I'm like it's one of my favorite sensations is like that pine salt in the toilet bowl oh my god fuck me up pine salt i love pine salt i know like every not to like shame or like shit on influencers but like there's a whole i mean everyone's trying to be like you know more natural eco-friendly and like no you know this is good this is good for your body if you if you touch this chemical it's not going to kill you when you clean your bathroom they're all promoting that shit i'm like no just give me fucking pine salt it's like $1.99 at Vons, I don't, I don't fucking want, like, the $12.99 clean, perfect, pristine product, I know, I'm, I'm not, hey, don't put me on the poster for the, you know, the eco-friendly

revolution, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm self-aware, I'm, I'm admitting that I like the basic bitch, like, Pine Sol, Comet, fucking Windex, uh, what else do I love, uh, Soft, Soap and Bubbles, what's the scrubbing scrubbing bubbles is that what's called fucking give me that nice old shit jack me up I'm that bitch I love the smell of cleaning products so yeah anyways 24-hour update clean my bathroom yesterday proud of that smells great um also candles fuck a soy wax candle I'll take the bath and body works like chemical like I don't know okay the reason I say shit like this is because my mom makes the she always brings us up because like we're from different generations and shit but like she um she's like your great grandma lived to be 103 and she was eating like

people that say like vegans gonna make you live longer and shit grandma ate meat and potatoes her whole life and cake and like um soda pop and she you know like she her whole life she had like she didn't overthink being like natural and eco-friendly for everything she put on her body she was wearing like a lipstick you know like chemically lipstick and you know what I mean so sometimes I'm like if you overthink it, I think that's actually not, it's just not healthy. I just, anyways, fuck me up with that pine salt. Dude, pine salt. If you like pine salt, DM me. I love pine salt. Pine salt and comment. So yeah, clean my bathroom. Oh, when I watched TikTok last night, I'm cracking my back. Oh, I need to drink water. Let me drink water. Intermission, drinking water. Oh, I got

that uh crystal geyser alpine spring water it's good shit got my iced coffee on deck I add I added more ice cubes to kind of like slow me down because if I I don't know how to explain this but like I I have to wait because I put the big ice cubes in I have these little ones but I put the big ones in and they have to melt to like a certain size before I can like actually really crunch on them but um so anyways last night I was watching YouTube right ate my dinner and then no, I ate my dinner on my live stream. What was I saying? I was like, oh, I ate my apple. And then fucking, I went to TikTok and I keep seeing shit about, oh, stuff that's going on, stuff going on in the world that no one's telling you about. Right. I love, I love those TikToks. Cause it's

like, it's like kind of crazy. And the other day I came across going on Google Chrome right now, dude, this is the best podcast of the week. Who's excited? I think this is the best one. Okay. Let's just all remember episode 19. Hi. Um, okay. So TikTok does these videos, right? And this guy was talking about these so oh Japan has a flying car okay I'm gonna read about that a little bit but these volcano these uh sharks swimming in volcanoes scientists discovered sharks swimming in volcanoes and it's so weird like they're in the volcano see the way they make it sound is like literally think of like a mountain oh my god is that number three anyways um they made it sound like oh my god hold on you know it's the morning I'm waking up my body's like

trying to like detox itself itself or whatever the fuck it's called I don't know um they made it sound like you know like a mountain with a volcano on top I assumed like when I watch that TikTok I'm thinking like these fucking sharks are in the mountains inside of a volcano like inside of it if you think of like a cone volcano I just like that's what my brain immediately pictured and I'm like my I was just I was like oh my god but then when you really look it up it's not that dramatic they're underwater obviously in the ocean where there's like underwater volcanoes but what's weird is that these waters are so acidic and hot and they're like cloudy and orange and shit and it's crazy that the scientists are confused like how are these animals surviving

in these conditions um so yeah that was like a cool TikTok I saw um yeah I'm on the news or I'm on the website right now the thing I like about doing this podcast is it kind of forces me to like check in on the world and like what's going on it's fun it's like what I was saying earlier it's not like I'm actually a news reporter I get to look at what I want to look up I get to get curious about what I want to get curious about so I'm glad I'm like learning new stuff every day and like it's fun I like to know what's like that's the appeal when I went back in the day when I wanted to do the news thing I liked the ritual of like keeping a pulse on the like the world news it was fun like I felt it was cool to like wake up I usually like read the New York

Times like a little like I was like I was so into it I like woke up before class I would go to the little coffee shop it's at the at the fucking bookstore or whatever and then I would get my newspaper my New York Times and sit and read it I felt so like you know okay if that says anything about me that says I feel like that says a lot about me so why am I feeling kind of sick right now what's going on hold on let me drink more water guys we're live I'm not editing this I'm going through it right now I took like six of those wellness formulas thing and then I'm having all this coffee I don't feel like it's mixing well something's happening my body's just like rejecting rejecting me I don't know so yeah that's kind of like the cool thing about this podcast is

I get to find whatever I want I can talk about whatever I want and like it's cool that it's forcing me to like know what's kind of going on in the world so anyways Japan has a flying car I mentioned that um dude I'm a daily podcaster I'm fucking okay I'm I'm a pro at this shit this is when you buck up and you're like you know what if you were live on air right now and you were feeling sick you would push through you'd finish the job and you would not let anyone see you sweat so that's where I'm at this is I'm not editing this we're gonna go through these weird bodily pains together and I'm not editing editing it okay so CNN um let's say that's where I just I just glitched I just glitched I just glitched speaking of glitches I woke up this is called

ADD ADHD I don't know what's happening the fucking TikTok what am I saying this morning I rolled out of bed and I was really bad I looked at TikTok for a little bit and I got on the simulation glitch side of TikTok that is fun okay those are a little those are crazy so yeah anyways here I am reading about this Japanese flying car Japanese company successfully tests a manned flying car for the first time this bitch flew for like four minutes I'm not that impressed a Japanese company company has announced the successful test drive of a flying car SkyDrive Inc conducted a public demonstration on August 25th oh this is old news why am I even reading it it's been a month later uh the car named sdo3 dumb um just call it like honestly if you have a like if you're gonna make

a flying car call it something cool that's why i like tesla tesla's like a cool name you know what i mean like sdo3 it's like um okay so this car named sdo3 manned with a pilot took off and circled the field field for about four minutes there's a quote from the ceo we are extremely excited to have achieved Japan's first ever manned flight of a flying car in the two years since we founded skydive I mean skydive this is actually I mean it's cool whatever I think you know we've all been bitching about flying cars for so long like why didn't that happen in 2000 and it's not now 20 years later but that's cool apparently it's going to replace it's going to improve traffic like the the way that people talk about this is like these things are going to be

like normal for everyone to drive in like three years doubt it four minutes that thing was in the air for four minutes hey we're getting somewhere we're moving forward you know I like to see it I always say like sometimes I'm like just it doesn't like this it's weird like a lot of the stuff I look at like cars airplanes um buildings I don't know I'm just like why okay you know how exponentially quickly algorithms move and like change and like grow what am I saying like I I feel like the physical world of like stuff just is so stagnant it doesn't really make like you know when they have these concept car images that come out or like they actually make a couple I'm like why don't you just make all the cars look like that you know what I mean like if

you can make a car if you can make a concept Lamborghini that's gonna be around in 2050 why can't you just make that now like if we can already produce that what the fuck I don't understand why are we still making these Honda Accord looking bitches that are like still looking like they did in the 90s in 2020 so I'm a little bit annoyed by that just knowing that oh it's possible for us to make this but like we're not actually gonna do it so yeah I don't like feeling like I'm stuck back in time all right so today's got oh I got a lot to talk about I think we ended the 24-hour update talked about the coffee fact I got my new lights blinding me I don't know if I like this just sitting in the studio sitting in the studio um what else talked about that this is like the

little intermission oh someone on my live stream because I was desperate I was like guys I didn't really write that many notes to talk about for tomorrow's podcast do you guys have any ideas you know and uh someone said talk about aliens which I'm not gonna do because just go listen to Joe Rogan podcast um and then someone asked talk about your childhood idols so I just wrote down my childhood idols for this segment I don't really want to elaborate because I feel like I want to get to other shit um but my childhood idols were I feel like it started out with like NSYNC and then Hanson those were like the first boy bands I listened to when I got my CD player, and then my babysitter really liked NSYNC, and we would watch videos

of NSYNC all the time, and then Mary-Kate and Ashley, like, all of their old videos, I just was obsessed with me, and my sister loved watching those, um, was obsessed with Hilary Duff during the Lizzie McGuire days, like, she was really, I feel like she was, like, the first, like, girl idol, I was like, oh my gosh, I just want to be you, you know what I mean? So, Hilary Duff, um, the fucking what's that movie the hillary duff movie is that what it's called no the lizzie mcguire movie so good i watched like that my friend some one of my best friends from elementary school her and i were like obsessed with hillary duff and then okay so i don't want to elaborate too much on this topic i'm just trying to cover these the other one was lindsey

lindsey lohan lohan because of like the parent trap and shit and she was in a lot of disney channel movies and are like I don't know other movies so yeah those are kind of like my childhood idols that was the era that I was you know I was in what I but I remember so oh and Jonas Brothers that was like the big that was like a such a crazy ass time first concert I went to I got to meet them my friend won I'll just tell the story so let's reminisce um coffee let's get more coffee by the way I'm checking back in about my health um situation I just had I'm feeling 100% back to normal. So you know what I think happens? I think these little wellness formula vitamins I take, they like hit the stomach, like, cause I'm on an empty stomach. Cause I have,

I'm not good at taking care of my body, the body and eating breakfast. Um, I feel like they hit my stomach, my empty stomach and the little, like, I dunno, the fucking, they're like, they, if you've ever taken these, their wellness formula tablets, they're kind of like gingery or like, I can't like, they kind of, I feel like they're a little bit abrasive on the stomach. so I think that's what happened combine that with the caffeine anyways um yeah so I'm feeling better fucking what was I gonna say oh I was gonna talk about the Jonas Brothers she's like let me put my pen here so I don't forget because I'm gonna segue right now I'm gonna segue dude my brain is all over the place who loves episode who loves burrito Tuesday it's burrito Tuesday we're eating

a surf and turf burrito that's a great okay so the reason why that makes sense the surf and turf shit is because you're getting beef and and you're like eating beef on this podcast and shrimp at the same time and it's just it doesn't make sense just like the train of thoughts I have um so yeah I'm gonna talk about the Jonas Brothers concert and all that but let me just what the fuck was I gonna just say god damn it see I just lost my train of thought again fuck um whatever damn it it was good too. I hate when that happens. You just witnessed my brain malfunction live. That's a simulation glitching again. Fuck it. Let's just talk about the Jonas Brothers concert. Damn it. What was I going to say? Oh, I know. Okay. This is disgusting, but we're episode 19. We're dating. We're

practically married at this point. Okay. Imagine like going on 19 dates in a row with someone in 19 days. 19 dates in 19 days. That's kind of what this has been. So we're going to talk about bodily functions last night someone on my live stream commented that like because I drink coffee all the time they're like like you must shit a lot oh my god you're probably just shitting all day long and they're not wrong like I'm a very regular bitch about my bowel movements like I just I just I don't have an issue in that department my point of saying this is I mentioned taking all these pills I use vitamins in the morning so I'm like it's kind of like my paranoia still hanging around about coronavirus like I really try to get them in first thing in the morning and throughout the

day I take like honestly like 10 a day it's like recommended you take six if you're feeling off but I take like 10 um they're so good just look them up wellness formula I'm not trying to be an influencer right now just like go look them up they're the shit five star review everywhere you look them up so yeah I the reason I'm saying this is because I just ate those for breakfast and then I have my coffee and I'm like talking about how much my stomach is like doing shit here's the thing. I'm trying to clap back at this, this comment last night and tell you guys that I know I talk about coffee all the time, but I don't rely on coffee to take a shit. I don't rely on coffee to take a shit. Okay. I don't need it to like, I don't know if this is TMI. We're going there.

We're fucking going there talking about shitting. I naturally take a shit first thing in the morning. It just like is what my body wants to do. And I don't have to drink coffee and then go like 30 minutes later or whatever so now you know I drink coffee because it's like my antidepressant okay it's really like I think the reason why I feel like that's so me and so my brand is like I have like high highs and low lows I'm fucking manic I'm fucking crazy I don't know I need to like work that more out with my therapist but um and my family thinks I have like multiple personality disorder and shit I don't fucking know but um I'm just a passionate bitch I have like high thought I have like highs and lows because when I'm when I'm low what it is is I'm

thinking and I'm stewing and I'm trying to like unpack shit and I think I instead of and I'm honestly like like yesterday when I was doing all that chilling it's not like I'm depressed I'm just like not I don't know I'm like thinking so fucking why am I saying this um so yeah coffee is not oh coffee is my brand and shit because I'm like the best version of myself is like this shit like on the podcast I'm doing it every day I'm like um you guys like when I make noises I want someone to clip them all together so bad um fucking I just love I love life I'm like I'm a very excited person and I think coffee's like my perfect little companion and so that's why I drink it I'm not drinking every day to take a shit so there's my little clap back clap back at you and uh yeah

we're gonna move on talk about the Jonas Brothers story so in middle school um I know I was gonna to say this I was going to talk about the Jonas Brothers because someone asked like who are my childhood idols and I remember like so I was going to say Miley Cyrus right I was going to say Miley Cyrus is one of my girl idols back in the day but to be honest my friends and all of my friends and I hated her because I mean like we hated everything she did because she was dating was she dating Nick Jonas and we were all in love with him so we were like wait no we can't we can't like her which totally changed you know like now I'm obsessed and anyways like I remember we used to have like posters of her and one time at a sleepover at my friend Anna's house we like drew all over her face

Miley Cyrus I know you're not listening to this absolutely you're definitely not but I'm sorry that was so middle school angsty pre-teen shit and I'm sorry but yeah we would like sharpie on her face draw a mustache and shit and we just hated her because she was we were we were all in love with the Jonas Brothers and she was dating Nick and we were like what the fuck but yeah I um so Jonas Brothers story this first like concert I ever went to my friend uh she called into the radio and won tickets and there was like five of us girls that were all really close and I think this was seventh grade or sixth grade I think it was seventh grade and she am I recording hi um she uh she made us draw straws wait did we draw no we picked a number no we

picked a number okay this is fucked up so she so at that time we bonded so she we we used to hate each other me and my friend Anna like hated each other before like middle school and I don't know we just never vibed but she found out I like the Jonas Brothers and she was obsessed with them so we bonded over that became best friends like we were best friends for so long and then um anyways we all had to pick a number oh my gosh I'm totally like exposing her but like what what's fucking middle school who gives a fuck um we all had to pick a number between like one and ten and whoever like got it got to go to the concert and meet them the whole thing about this we got to meet the Jonas Brothers I met fucking the Jonas Brothers in middle school and so she had uh we

cheat I you know she cheated and or we were she told me what the number was and so you know I took a random guess and then that yeah so anyways I went and saw them it was kind of surreal like when you walk in the room and you see a super like at that time they were like so huge it was like 2007 I think um wow and you walk in the little meet and greet room and you see them there and you're like oh so they're not six feet that's not what I expected and then like they were all they were so much like short like in person they were so much smaller than I thought um which is kind of like a mind fuck but I know it was like it was such a big deal like like we were talking about like where we're going to stand in the lineup because there's three of them and two of

us when we take the picture and I stood between Nick and Kevin and she got to stand between Kevin and Joe and I was like I don't know like after the fact I was like I wish I stood between Joe and whatever so yeah I took a picture with um with them and that's basically it and we went to the concert it was cool we got like not the best seats but it was so it was so fun I love like that's what I talked about yesterday the feeling of going to a concert is like unmatched that's my favorite thing that energy of being in a concert or a live show of any kind I'm trying to fucking do that for you guys today and I think I think I'm doing a better job than I did the rest of the like the last five episodes were kind of shitty hi okay so but yeah I miss like I think part of

me being self-conscious and insecure about like I don't really have a big social life I don't really do a lot of shit is like making me realize how moving forward when shit pops pops off again and we can actually go out and do things because I know a lot of people are like it's never going back to normal this is the new normal I'm sorry I just can't my brain can't wrap my head it's not accepting that I'm like look I know times are topsy-turvy right now they're really cattywampus that was the word of the day yesterday but like you I can't imagine in the next fucking three years I won't be at a concert or a rave or whatever like I know that's probably gonna open back up again so I'm just so excited to get back into that and this year's made me realize

like I want to have the type of life where I'm doing shit like on the week like going here traveling there going out here like I've missed out on a lot of experiences because like I don't know I've designed my life has been really like introverted over the last few years and like just doing my own shit which has been healthy it's been good I'm finding myself but I don't know I just want like 92 friends like I want to be in a gang like I just want to be in a girl gang for real I want to be in a girl gang where like every other girl is just like I don't know so cool that's my fantasy like we're just like all so cool how about all these TikTok kids sticking their tongue out every two seconds you know what I'm talking about you know what I'm talking about

it's like they have like a tick now it's like the new thing it's like oh my gosh I can't even say that because people have Tourette's and I just said that's like a tick fuck in 10 years I'm just gonna get dug up and I'm gonna like lose my career fuck you know what I mean okay kids doing the tongue thing it's like a reaction they have now okay so let's wrap up the you know childhood idol section cross that off the list I love crossing shit off the list there's just something about it something about how are you doing how are you feeling I let that burp kind of stay in no people watching yet but I have a Nissan Altima parked outside and I'm it's not it's not the vibes it's not the vibes do not buy Nissan Altima

who buys a nissan i don't know okay so talked about the sharks talked about the flying car boring okay so i have a few topics i want to dive into right now so i have so much i'm looking at here this this is all over the place this is your serventer of burrito combination tuesday thing where none of this is going to make sense when i'm about to say it so i have a vr and simulation type of theory I want to talk about so that's one thing I could go into I also want to talk about getting MRSA MRSA like the that was like the so we think the pandemic's bad now remember when MRSA was around and you got those big ass welts all over your body those big ass fucking sis remember that was taking people out like those wrestlers that would get it and you know

that would take them out like that was I think that was worse than what we've got now people are so dramatic about this pandemic but like remember 2007 and MRSA so yeah I got that on my face so I want to tell a story about that I want to talk about VR um breaking my feet story oh I was gonna talk about breaking my feet in middle school it's kind of boring maybe I'll talk about I'll talk about that on the basketball episode episode 24 is the basketball episode because that's kind of related so we're a cast of basketball practice I'm like actually played on my fucking broken foot. So bad. My Achilles tendons were fucked. Um, okay. So the VR thing, the MRSA story, I think that's what I'm going to stick to. Um, yeah, I think that's it. And then

I have a song recommendation. I'm going to read a DM and I think we're going to wrap it up right now. I'm going to segue into the serious shit called if you want to support the show and this is just me saying it to say it. I really were, you know, just, I have, I struggle saying this stuff, but I have to push myself in practice. So if you want to support the show, you can go over to patreon.com slash TJMS. And yeah, I can support the show over there. You can go to my YouTube channel. My video podcast is dropping October 1st, next Thursday, thick Thursday. And yeah, you can go subscribe, watch some videos right now. If you want to like see what I was up to in the beginning of the quarantine, when I was pushing through my depression and trying to be

like a YouTube vlogger, and looking back, it, I don't know, I'm, I just can't even watch those videos, um, but yeah, you can go over there, YouTube or Patreon, and moving on, so let's talk about, let's get kind of serious right now, I don't know, we'll talk about the VR theory thing I have, so like, okay, you know how everyone has a profile of themselves online, this is kind of like that, what's that Netflix show the one where they talk about like social media a lot I don't know I don't watch I don't really watch those shows what's it called I can't think of the name but anyways so you know how everyone has a profile like everyone has a version of themselves that exists online they have like their online avatar

of who they are right so and you know how we have Google Maps okay guys stay with me just like stay with me you know how we have like google maps and over the over the years they've gotten more and more detailed about these maps so my little theory or my little thought let me drink some coffee and let me like try to get this out in the correct sentence structure so it makes sense for you gonna kind of start talking slow so I've got these profiles and we've got this map. Stay with me. So my theory is that when we put on, now I'm leaning back. If the maps were, or if the, like the, um, whoever does the imaging of like Google maps or whatever was able to do like able to take photos or videos or whatever or like get the

entire blueprint of every nook and cranny of every city every building in that city every house in that city every cafe in that city every laundromat every library every school every mall like if that was able to be done where we had that much detail about the map of the world and then my theory about this is that that would exist because that's a map on that's like a digital blueprint of the world right because we have a digital blueprint of the world which is like google maps it's like the map app on your phone it's it's there it exists we have like a very you know it's very like there's like 2d or 3d options on it you can see like different you know you can see like the aerial view but I'm talking about like you can walk around

it's like the street view but then and then you can walk into the house okay stay with me stay with me how are you doing now imagine because that exists digitally you put on a pair of VR goggles you put on a pair of VR goggles and this VR game or this VR universe was like you your little bit emoji your little sim sim of yourself could walk around the actual real world that's been completely you know does not like it's been completely photographed or videoed or whatever however google map people do it it's been created and then you can actually walk around you could like put your vr goggles you're on your couch you put on those goggles you have your little character of actually who you are and everyone all your friends have this it's kind of like

the snapchat map thing but like all of your friends have it but you're parked on your couch and then in the game you can like walk outside your actual apartment in the game and walk around town but the thing about this that's cool is that the the designers of this universe add things in like you can have like superpowers and you can collect coins like you could walk down the street and like collect coins or like it's like an actual game but the cool thing about it is it's that the map is exactly like the actual world like it is and then if the technology was able to do it where every time there's a new building built it was able to like you know capture that anyways that was my little VR thought I don't know how to like I just thought like the more

detail the more intricate we can get with our with our maps and stuff the more that would be possibility and then it's like you just sit in your apartment and you go into the the fun world where it's like it looks like everything actually is but then it's like oh I can like actually get in a little flying car thing or like there could be like there's like more to it but it's all virtual and that's that's possible because you can basically just design a flying car in the game the VR game and it's not like that complicated like it is in the real world so anyways who wants to put your heads together with me in the DMs about that I know I think I mentioned that on the Instagram story a while ago but I don't know just kind of popped back in the brain on this

fucking Tuesday so yeah I just talked about that um because I'm realizing like the more we're the more and more we become addicted to our phones and everything like I don't know like we just all watch the social dilemma so like honest to god I'd be terrified of that if anything like that ever happened but I think if if things just kept progressing that's where we would end up being like we would just end up having a virtual world of because that's like what if you think about it that's like what Instagram is it's like the virtual version like people are posting little like they're like little data points of their kitchen in a picture or like a selfie of them in the moment and then it's just a still but if there's a way where if you were in if you had

like a VR headset and you can like actually go and hang out with your friends virtually I don't know it freaks me out just thinking about it why am I on Instagram now um okay so let's move on to the next story let's talk about something so I was bullied I was bullied a lot in middle school um also elementary school um but mostly by the girls so I feel like my elementary school was like bullied by hold on I'm just trying to get comfortable um we're hanging out we're just hanging out I'm cracking my back um okay so in elementary school I feel like the girls in school bullied me and then the like they would never like I wouldn't I wouldn't get invited to anything and then at recess I was kind of like shunned I guess like I always kind of got like the stiff arm from

fucking I think her name was like Michaela I don't even know if you probably don't I don't I don't want to name drop okay I'm gonna start creating names um especially about the two boys that bullied me in middle school but anyways I want to talk about something because you guys love when I reminisce about the past and like I've gotten that's pretty much the feedback I've gotten so far do you like it when I tell little stories so let me drink some coffee before I get into this so this is my MRSA story this is my getting MRSA on my face story I wish I could find this photo this photograph this picture of what it looked like and then I could post it so you would understand but just get just imagine trying to paint a picture so I had a lot of

summer jobs as a kid and like I'm going to kind of go over what I used to do like I I um used to fold berry boxes at a berry farm down the road from me where I was paid like 10 cents per box and so you just like get really good at folding them really fast so I used to do that I would like I don't know what else did I do um the the I'm trying to like pre do like a little pre um story of talking about my summer jobs because when I got MRSA I was in the strawberry field to pick strawberries as a summer job and I think it was like I'll just dive into it so anyway summer jobs I had a lot of them at one point in like eighth grade I was picking up garbage on the side of the freeway with like seven other kids for like all summer it's like the

ecology of Washington crew anyway so yeah I did that worked at a winery and washed some dishes anyways okay so one year I was a strawberry picker down the strawberry fields I was working for Sakuma Bros and uh Sakuma Bros up in Washington you know some people listening you might know what that is anyways so like week two I okay wait before okay so during this time I'm picking strawberries my mom she was so into CrossFit like so fit like that was when CrossFit was like starting to pop off and we started going to CrossFit I was like fucking 10 years old I don't even know um like we were in the CrossFit community like super early my family was obsessed with it. But my mom, one day she came home from CrossFit and she had like a, or like over the week

or whatever, she had like a bump on her back. And I'm downplaying this as like lower back. It's kind of like, like where you, the butt and the back connect. Okay. That area, just imagine. And she had like, she had a couple of bumps there that were like cyst looking things. Right. And this is like so TMI and disgusting but I'm just telling you this story because this has to do with me getting bullied so just stay with me this is like an important life story to tell you I'm trying to get my like key stories out early so they're buried deep enough so by the time I'm at episode 2000 like no one's gonna know about these embarrassing kind of things I'm talking about so um so anyways my mom and I'm a picker I loved I always loved popping like

like if like dad had like a zit on his back I'd always like take care of it and shit it's the kind of family I was in we'd like pop each other's back knee um I'm in seventh grade or I'm going into seventh grade no I'm going into eighth grade this is summer before eighth grade picking strawberries I'm coming home my mom's got this shit on her back and I was like popping it I was like helping her every day I was like really getting in there well okay this was like MRSA time when no one knew what the fuck it was until like the news started talking about it and I know this is like a common thing I feel like a lot of wrestlers get it it's basically like these giant cysts that are they're antibiotic antibiotic resistant so it's like really crazy and like if

it channels if like the cyst channels into your bloodstream it can kill you so it's actually really serious long story short I'm popping her back like every other day trying to help her like clean it out so gross if you're into like the doctor pimple popper shit which I I don't like admitting that I sometimes watch that like the other night I like I don't even know like I just got in that rabbit hole like sometimes there's I don't know what it is the psychology of like watching a zit get popped but whatever it was so much coming out and I was so into it so I was helping her out and I was picking strawberries in the day well next the second week of picking strawberries I wake up one morning and I like remember this sensation so well

like this the what's the side of the face it was it was like the right side of my face the lip it was like really swollen and I had a cold sore at the time in the corner of my mouth like on the like the very corner of my like if you smile you know the corner part I had a cold sore there for like a week and anyways I woke up one morning it was really swollen and I was like whoa what the fuck so and it was pussy as fuck so much puss so I'm like great we just assumed like maybe I have what my mom has because I was like probably not washing my hands properly after I was picking her popping her cyst and so anyways I went to the doctors my dad um he brought me in I like didn't go to the I didn't go to the I didn't go to work that day because it's really dramatic my whole

face is like getting swollen so the doctor was like oh it looks like you have a staph infection oh that's what it is a staph infection that's what this is called and I went to the doctors and he's like looks like you have a staph infection so he gave me some medication I think I got prescribed something and then um he kind of like told me to like do Epsom salts like soak it and drain it you'll be fine right okay well I wasn't fucking fine let me tell you what happened so then I go to bed that day popped it a few times you know it's getting swollen as fuck I wake up the next day and I got a motherfucking golf ball in my cheek okay this staph infection cyst blew my face up or like half of my face was completely swollen they said I never knew what this was but

they said I look like the elephant man let me google that to see what that looks like to confirm that I look like that is this a good story elephant man we're gonna get into the bullying part so just hang in there um elephant man images oh fuck okay yeah I kind of look like the elephant man if you know who that is that's terrifying I don't wait am I body shaming him was that a real person or is that a movie I think that was a movie I think those are prosthetics oh no I don't want to be rude but anyways he's got a lot of like he's got a big he's got stuff going on in his face like puffy shit but yeah so I um woke up like that the next day and my mom's like we're going to children my mom was like we don't fuck around in the family like we go to Seattle whenever

because we lived like north of Seattle whenever there's like stuff going on with someone in the family like medical shit we rush ourselves to Seattle we're like they take the best care we got the UW Medical Center there we got the Cancer Care Alliance this is where we're going so they fucking rushed me to children's hospital and uh they morphine me up the the nurses shoot me up with morphine they're because it was so dramatic and so swollen and they started draining it and like the sensation of them like ripping out the staph infection shit like whatever this the pussy it was so disgusting they were like tugging on it long story short i get admitted there and uh i stay overnight they had to do like surgery on the inside of my cheek like i was awake for it

they like sucked it all out and uh they put me on antibiotics or well it's resistant to that I don't even know what it's called but it's like meds that you can't go out in the sun and you can't take them and go out in the sun and it was summertime so I had to like be careful um so yeah I uh was in the hospital I remember having heart palpitations all night I couldn't sleep um they fed me like pudding and shit it was weird um it was kind of fun I love being taken care of in the hospital like that's it's a vibe if you've ever stayed over stayed in the hospital overnight it's just a vibe I can't really put my finger on it it's like you know what thank god for these people this is like very once in a lifetime thing so I'm just I'm milking it I'm asking for shit I'm like

yeah can I have like a little warm towel what would I do I'd get like heating pads and stuff just cozy up watch like tv the whole time my mom oh my gosh shout out to my mom my favorite thing ever is when she rubs my feet this is like I'm just I'm a mushy person I just like stuff like this I don't care telling you guys my mom would like as I was getting the surgery she like massaged because it was a they just numbed me up it wasn't surgery I wasn't put under but they like she like missed like was massaging my feet like over the covers while I was getting it removed and I just remember that and so whenever I'm home she always does that and I'm like yeah it's like just like when I was you know back in the children's hospital so shout out to my parents that

medical bill was probably fucking huge um just like my braces you put me through just like my private school you put me through I don't know how you did it I'm just confused honestly at this point I have no complaints I experienced a lot of childhood trauma but my parents were probably financially stressed as fuck because like they had three kids pretty much the same age in Catholic school together college at the same time fucking braces all three of us Jesus okay so anyways I'm in the hospital that happens here's where I'm gonna accelerate the story I don't know why this turned me into the MRSA episode but we're gonna talk about it um I'm gonna make the title like MRSA I don't know like MRSA made me famous no I don't yeah well it kind of did um we'll get into

that. So fucking a few weeks later, my dad gets it. My sister gets it on her toe and my brother gets it. My brother got it, I think in his side or his arm. Where did he get it? I don't know. My sister got it on her toe. My dad got it on his back. My brother got it somewhere. All five of my family members got it, got MRSA, which is like, oh my gosh, it was crazy. Like that's the whole family gets it. Um, and I remember fucking, oh, in the hospital. So when I was at children's hospital getting that getting it removed out of my cheek and I'm so happy they went from the inside of my cheek to remove it they didn't like fuck up the side of my cheek and scar me so so happy about that if I was not if I went locally to a hospital around no I'm kidding like they probably

wouldn't have done that because you could access it from the inside just grateful like the children's hospital surgeon people did a good job um but fucking I got it under my arm so I also got it it was weird I got like under my armpit I got a MRSA I got a staph infection MRSA thing there in the hospital so we had to watch that and I had it on my face the scary thing is the reason why this is a dramatic story and I'm telling you this is because it relates to me getting bullied for a whole fucking year in eighth grade and I like it's deadly and if it channels into your bloodstream if that fucking staph got into my brain somehow or like it got because it was on my head you know that's scary so that's why I was like oh my gosh you gotta rush her in but here's where it gets

crazy so my mom was friends with the doctor that was doing research on Marissa and stuff at the time I'm pretty sure like he was doing a whole like study with wrestlers and whatnot and he wanted to interview her family or he basically King 5 News in Seattle interviewed me at my house came to my fucking house fourth rip of the podcast and um they like interviewed me in my school uniform like before school or something and I was on the news and they showed the picture I took on my macbook because I like sat in front of my macbook and took the picture of me with big crazy face I have okay my macbook back home I got a little you know the little old white macbooks it fried it got fried at one point so I can't get into it but I know like that still exists so I'm

trying to like get it back from my probably when I go home from Christmas I'm gonna I want to get in there and I want to find these pictures but anyways the news posted like the picture and they did the story about me getting it and I remember the soundbite I said was like I wouldn't wish this upon anyone like I tried to sound so like eloquent I was like yeah I would not wish this upon any of my enemies or any you know like this is this was so tragic and so terrible and so painful and da da da but the reason they interviewed us the whole gist of the story was like the whole family gets it so anyways we had like a connection there the doctor and the news because they were working together my mom knew the doctor my mom was like always around doctors and shit so anyways this

gets it's on the news right it's on king five nightly news at like 7 p.m drinking coffee this is uh this is where it took a deep dark turn in my life this is probably why I'm fucking the way I am now. Okay. I got a friend, I'm just going to name drop. I'm going to call him Sean. Okay. I remember we were at the playground and this is eighth grade. Now I was kind of one of the boys at that time. Like I had, we, I had a bunch of girlfriends, but the boys and the girls kind of all played together at recess. And I can't even believe we went to fucking recess in school. We always play at the swings and we do back flips and shit off of them. And I remember at recess, this is like the beginning of eighth grade my friend Sean was like hey my mom saw you on the

news last night you had MRSA oh my god that's crazy and I mean this is middle school the boys are just stupid at that point right they I'm not even kidding I'm not being dramatic if you went to middle school with me if you were in eighth grade with me hi um how's it going they for an entire year used the Mercer thing as like the thing they're gonna bully me with and it was like they called me Mercer girl these are all the boys so I'm gonna use fake names I just name drop Sean but you know he was kind of always like I knew he was recruited into the mean boy gang but like down deep I knew he was like a good guy like he wasn't trying to be an asshole to me there's like a couple of the guys like that but the two assholes I'm not gonna say their actual names

I'm going to just like, I'm going to like morph their names into, I'm going to say Alex with an X, Alex and Mark. Okay. Alex and Mark. Those are not their actual names. Those two motherfuckers, they bullied me every single fucking day. All of eighth grade called me Mercer girl. They were like, ew, you're disgusting. Like every little chance they could get to like be mean to me and like talk about MRSA like I would be in class and they just be like MRSA MRSA MRSA girl like if I was in like the hallway or something they like they would like go against the side of the wall and avoid me like they would not they would try to like get so far away from me I was like the leper of fucking eighth grade so it was so bad they even wrote like in my farewell eighth

grade book thing like MRSA all over it they wrote like MRSA everywhere like fucking like a hundred times they just like wrote it I should find that book I actually still have it somewhere it's back home like okay and this is the thing they recruited Alex and Mark recruited like all of the boys in eighth grade to gang up on me and be mean to me like even the boys that I was like cool with they were like weirdly like they all just had this like thing against me that was like oh my gosh and this is so bad this is so bad they used to call me a Jew it was like funny to them to call me a Jew. So I was mercy girl. I was a Jew, which I'm sorry if that's offensive, but like, I'm just calling them out. They used to say that. And it's like, dude, what the hell,

what else do they call me? Um, yeah, it was just really weird. And I, I, I feel like the thing that kept them going is I never, ever let them see me sweat. I never let them see me get offended. I just like laughed it off. I played it off. I self-deprecate. I was just like, I never let them get an inch and so that's probably what pissed them off they just kept doing it every single day and um it honestly like sometimes it would really affect me I'm like I just can't even go a day without like being reminded I got fucking MRSA and they're all like freaked out like I'm gonna give it to them that was the whole thing like if we were in PE and we were doing some sort of like close contact sport they would all like avoid me and it was just stupid and then I would

flip it in their face and tell them that they all liked me and they're all in love with me and that's why they're making fun of me so and fast forward back you know let's go past high school uh they both came back one of them actually took me out to Chipotle he's uh you know trying to like fucking I don't know date me or whatever like he liked me after it was like after the fact so shout out to you honestly the thing I liked about him in particular I'm going to talk about Mark is like, he had that, like, he kind of had a vibe. He was from, he was from a bigger city. I'm just not going to like paint a picture too much here. I don't want to like, people probably know what I'm fucking talking about, but he was from the big city, the big Emerald city down South.

And he came up North and he was kind of like a swaggy boy from the city. And so I always like, the thing that was annoying is he made fun of me, but like, I liked his humor. I understood his like fucking like vibe of like like it's just like I don't know how to explain it the the city swagger vibey like funny boy stuff like he was the first guy ever was around that talked like that because he was from a different place he's from different schools and it pissed me off I was like yo we could just be friends but you're making fun of me every day and he used to tell me about a mustache fucking mustache thing was a big big making fun of me point um anyways so fucking oh and i'm pissed off alex alex just keep reminding you guys it's with an x um he i feel like used to like me

the day the week the month the year before we went on a overnight hike to baker lake and i remember he complimented my leggings complimented my leggings and i remember that he complimented me and I thought he was so hot he was a new boy in school I was like every girl was like so in love with him we're like oh my gosh he's like a musician he fucking he's like the tallest boy in the class he's got these big eyes like everyone was in love with him and I remember he complimented my leggings and one of my best friends was like she liked him so much more and I was always like he's yours I don't whatever but then he went from that complimenting my leggings complimenting my leggings to fucking curse the girl mercy girl it was obnoxious okay this is where it takes a

fucking dark turn eighth grade graduation the principal calls me into the office it's a known thing that I'm getting bullied every single day and I cracked at the end it got so bad at my fucking graduation or like the pre-graduation ceremony I remember my dad and the guy that bullied me his dad he like laid into him and he's like your son has been my daughter and you know one of those type of things out in the parking lot long story short one of the boys wasn't allowed to go to the graduation ceremony because he was such an asshole to me so shout out to you learn your life lesson I'm funny because of it so thank you thank you for all those hard times because I think that's what they say that's like what makes someone funny is when

they're bullied if you've had like childhood trauma so yeah I'm totally there I also had a shit ton of childhood childhood trauma from family stuff the ice cubes are like too big still and I just really want to eat one right now so yeah that's my uh mercer story was a strawberry picker in the summer fucking trying to make a trying to make some money got mercer ended up on the news went a whole fucking year in eighth grade getting bullied and the boy didn't graduate with the class because of it principal i brought me into the okay i need to stop chewing this is a great episode the principal like on the literal the literal last day of eighth grade literal the last day of eighth grade the principal oh my gosh what was her name like mrs carty mrs i fucking forget

anyways she brought me into her office which is such a weird stuffy vibe like when you go into the principal's office but it was like it was like she was like taking me under her wing she's like jacqueline tell me everything so i recapped the year of getting bullied and that is all she needed to she like heard my story and she got she uh the one of the boys wasn't allowed to go to graduation so I don't know I'm not like a I don't know I can't believe I let it slide that long it was so bad now oh my god like I would just if you were an asshole to me every day oh my god I had all the all of the arsenal and ammunition in my belt to uh fire it back and not just like get walked all over because that's the thing I would ignore it and I would like or I would like tell

them they were just obsessed with me and they were they liked me so I don't know middle school stories dude I want to start wearing fucking audios and etnies those shoes there's a fucking phase now just like let's reminisce even more there was an era I don't know if anyone remembers this we're having that little e on your shoe that little etnies e was like the coolest thing ever and I remember one year it was like my sixth grade shoe because the only way you could be an individual in a Catholic private school was buy your shoes because you wear a uniform right I got pink so I was between etnies or audios my sister got etnies I think my brother and I got audios that year yeah but I got I ordered off of um fucking final what's it called we used to get

the magazine in the mail and I would pick out the shoes from the magazine finish line no something like finishline.com like a shoe thing but it wasn't it was like not big five sporting goods whatever but I picked out these hot pink audios and I was thinking about it like you know how I like to be like quirky and different not like other people I don't know why I keep saying that but like straight up like that's where I'm at whatever um I was thinking like I want to I want to start wearing etnies I want to start wearing etnies again I want to be like that etny bitch fuck your vans fuck your converse fuck your uh adidas and nikes and shit I'm wearing I'm wearing etnies it's 2006 I'm wearing etnies I don't know I just actually have a couple in my uh I have a

list on Amazon I love making Amazon lists but I put a couple in my like shoe list and uh they're cute they're kind of modern compared to how they were in 06 but I don't know dude I love talking about the past so yeah Marissa's story done talked about my 24-hour update talked about my childhood idols i talked about my vr concept and story summer jobs um oh song recommendation let's do it and then i'm gonna read a dm so i feel like i'm honestly getting pro with this shit i'm moving along i'm telling i'm painting see my whole thing about listening to podcasts is i love when someone tells a story that's like that's not what was that noise i just made nobody clip that that sounded like a fart ew it was like the corner of my cheek i i like listening to podcasts where

someone like walks me through a story from like the first day to the last day like I just took you through like I'm in the strawberry field and then here I'm at my graduation and the whole year this happened so I'm proud of myself I feel like I'm getting better at telling stories um I've said this so many times in the past like this is just one giant self-mastery course I'm trying to become a better speaker a better orator and uh just like master my fucking self because this is honestly preparing me for life it's getting me set up for the future where um I don't know like life is all about communication okay like I know that's what they teach you getting your communication degree um but it really is all these like non-verbal verbal things people do

it's all life is is communication so make your own pie I need to sit up and have a better um fucking vocal sound right now so work on it work the muscle every day do a daily podcast like me seven days a week and uh get go pro at it so I'm proud of myself for telling a good story I'm gonna recommend you a song right now oh I'm pissed my whoop strap died in my sleep last night so I have no clue what my recovery is but judging by the fucking judging by the fucking uh rhythm of this podcast I'm looking at probably I probably got like a 72% the day before was 11% so proud of that. So yeah, Spotify, I'm on my Spotify. You can listen on Spotify. Are you listening there? Are you listening to on the Apple app? I don't know. I have stats on that. I think it's like

most people listen on Spotify, which is really interesting. Are you guys all dropping 10 bucks a month to 10 bucks a month to have Spotify? Um, I was using my brother, my brother's, um, until like this year I was using my brother's school, uh, email, college email to get the $4.99 student Spotify version and then this year it like didn't recognize his fucking email address because he graduated so then I have to pay $10 a month so you can go to patreon.com and support me financially if you want to also support the show and help me afford my Spotify every month all right so tj patreon.com slash tjms all right I'm on my fucking um music here let's go to like puberty. Let's go to puberty. That's my playlist name. I'm loving this show. And I know, you know,

what's coming in a few minutes. Jacqueline's going to talk about not wanting to end the podcast. So get ready for that. I'm already feeling like I'm going to be avoiding it. Dude, this new update on the Spotify app is how do I navigate to this playlist? Okay. Search. I want to just go to my playlist. Oh, scroll. Okay. So my playlist called puberty is like, this is a good one to do because the song recommendation because it's like I talked about middle school today so let's recommend um shit something like you might have not heard of in a while dude Soul Survivor cheesy Akon I'm sitting in a net with the thing convict two Akon a young cheesy Trying to take it easy

We're gonna fucking sing this right now I don't give a fuck Only way to go And so If you're looking for me I'll be on the block On the think talk Possibly sitting on the track now

Cause I'm a rider Yeah, you're the sole survivor Yeah every night I can't sleep I'm living in jail first they put us to work then throw us in jail I don't know what the lyrics are it just stopped recording but that's probably copyright and whatever so um wow uh just you know what you probably already skipped ahead so I'm not even going to mention just skip ahead of those parts when I start singing dumb songs so your song of the day is, uh, fucking Soul Survivor, Jeezy Akon, that's a very middle school, uh, it's like a middle

school song, dude, what else is on here, Get Back, Ludacris, Get Back, motherfucker, um, I love, like, those songs from that, I'd say, like, those songs from, like, 2000, like, four, no, like, 2005 to 2010 best era honestly one of my favorites for music noises upstairs okay so I recently discovered my neighbor upstairs their window was open like their blinds and I just I saw two monitors in front of the window directly above my studio so because this guy doesn't he doesn't really leave the apartment that much I'm assuming he works from home and he's got like two monitors or he's doing like stock shit I don't know so you know you learn something new every day but I don't know like does anyone else now I'm telling a random story does anyone else like I don't ever I don't

try to get close to my neighbors I don't try to hang out with them because it's I feel like every time you see them every day you have to like stop and small talk if you really know them and I've had issues with that in the past and I just like I purposely like keep my head down just like say hi and like we don't actually like hang out but I don't know if there's someone like that look like they could like we could be friends you know what I mean then maybe I would do that but um so far I just have a have my neighbor that she's a retired teacher now she retired this year she's really sweet she's really old I think her chihuahua is like 25 years old we've got her I've got a girl that doesn't like when I put my recycling in the garbage we've talked about her in the past

listened to a previous episode um she's got like a shit ton of plants in her window she ever listened to this podcast I mean like we could be friends but I already know like we're not our personalities will not click and you're probably like I don't know like you probably i i don't know she's just not my vibe she's just not my vibe and then i got a new neighbor next door with a baby um not a saint bernard what's the dog i struggle with this the other podcast it's a german shepherd and then i have a bald dude that i think works at verizon but yeah okay i think what else was i gonna talk about oh soul survivor song recommendation done now we're gonna read a dm now i'm gonna read this dm because i don't know it was

a nice dm um fuck okay um my memes last night i'm getting responses for about oh okay i'm not gonna say his name he said he's topping off the petrol he he he definitely listens to the podcast because he knows i like everything fucking british and so he used the word petrol instead of gas so i'm already impressed he used a gas emoji topping off the petrol the anacortes casino and a 2006 green gmc sierra with dents and a primer all over was blasting taylor taylor gang max volume next to me what a terrific song he used the word terrific he knows i like that word because no one fucking says terrific anymore what a terrific song anyways just thought you would want to know that

keep on rocking the free world miss jacklyn the nostalgia parts of your podcast are my favorite i just said i'm glad you're enjoying the podcast and i said terrific haha i see you um yeah taylor gang was the song recommendation the other other day so i appreciate the message um glad you're enjoying it i always say that to people like you know whatever is this podcast five hours oh my mom sent me a dm shit it's probably some like motivational speech fucking hi mom book your flight soon I have points yeah I use my mom's points I'm a freeloader I don't pay for my own flights you know what if your family's got it going on or if your family's with it everyone just use the same accounts for flights and shit you'll get so many points that

way and she said what I said okay let me know look at flights I can book under your name hey, winky face, will do, I'm podcasting right now, will do, I'm podcasting, now we're just hanging out, I'm avoiding ending it, we already, it's starting to, that's feeling in my body, starting to brew, will do, I'm podcasting right now, I'll winky face back, I love when my parents send me winky faces, I don't know what it is, there's something about it, um, okay, dude, Tuesday, Surf and Turf Tuesday, what's this called, Burrito Tuesday, great episode, um, it's making me self-conscious about the last ones but I really don't have any much any much anything more to talk about really today um just a recap I like to recap so that you guys can

remember what we went over I'm uh you know in the studio here loving life uh I'm practicing like I'm actually gonna have like I have my studio lights on pretending that I'm doing my YouTube video already starting next week doing that um I did my 24-hour update same shit different day worked out uh ate an apple talked about that fucking talked about my childhood idols lizzie mcguire and shit mary kate and ashley i talked about my vr thought i talked about sharks and volcanoes the japan flying car i talked about getting bullied and having MRSA and picking strawberries and boys being mean to me and um i recommended to you soul survivor and that was the song of the day and, uh, I read a DM. So episode 19 coming, coming to a halt here. It's

Tuesday. Um, honestly I checked the weather. I'm getting a little, I'm getting a little pissed off. I'll be honest. Every time I check the weather up, I'm like, God damn it. It's not cooling down. Next week is another fucking heat wave. It's looking like 85, 84, 80. Like I just, I need to figure out how to work my AC at this point because every day I'm like overheating in my apartment I'm like I just and the windows the thing is I finally figured out the draft doesn't go through the direction of like how my windows are the draft doesn't go that way like the wind it goes like the opposite direction so I'm not getting like a breeze a breeze off the ocean like I used to when I lived in fucking Del Mar that was sweet there was like a I opened my windows

and it was like I could actually smell the ocean can't believe I can't believe I moved but that was a cracker box of an apartment compared to what I have now now I'm in a fucking palace this apartment by the way like I at first it's weird like it takes a while for a place to really feel like home where you're like I don't know I felt like that as soon as I walked in but I don't know it's like this year's kind of been like I felt like a little alien in my own apartment like it's just I don't know it wasn't and I think what it is is like I'm not having people over to like use it with me so it feels like I don't know there's something about that but now I'm really starting to feel like this is home it's like getting my bodily fluids all over I know it's

getting like me in it like it's getting my shit like ever like I don't know um I got blueberry stains on my couch last night that's how you really know you're really living living it up in your apartment I was eating frozen blueberries and I got them on my couch my white couch guess what I did. Flip those motherfucking cushions over, called it a day. Am I getting, am I taking those cushion covers off and washing them at the, like, or did I even attempt to take the stain out with a little soap, a little detergent or something, or a little OxyClean or whatever the fuck it's called? Did that guy die? Wait, did the OxyClean guy die? Or is that the ShamWow guy died? Oh my gosh. I think it was the OxyClean guy. That was so weird. Um, so I just flipped

over my cushion and call it a day. So I want a new couch. That's my, my new thing. I I'm like looking for, I need a bigger couch. Cause it's, I want a long, like a really long couch to fill the whole wall. And I I'm kind of in the market for a new rug or I'm looking for one. Um, I want something more cozy. Cause I have a jute, it's called a jute rug, which is, it's like a, I don't how to explain it it's like burlap-y so it's nice but it just isn't my hard like I have hardwood floors and I have that rug so it's kind of all rough and um I don't know speaking of floors has anyone else noticed if you're in your apartment a lot or if you're in your house a lot I'm hyper aware of every little speck of dirt and shit on my fucking floor and it's I'm looking

right now and it makes me so annoyed like they put in marble before I moved in so like shout out to my landlord for doing that, but it shows every fucking, like, it's so annoying, anyways, this podcast, I'm just dragging shit on, does anyone actually listen to this point, whatever, I'm not done, thing is, I stop talking when I squeeze every thought out, and guess what, oh my god, I'm dripping, I'm dripping, oh fuck, I'm dripping, like, my coffee down my chin, it's cold it's on my thigh I should wear pants but I don't like them um okay so my fucking instant coffee this is really bad um I'm klutzy with shit like I just always have been like a spill and I'm like messy sometimes but um I the coffee the instant coffee granules if they get on the floor

and if they get any sort of moisture on them they cement themselves to the marble and then I have to take like a little butter knife and scrape them off individually. And the other day this happened and like, like 10,000 of these little granules dropped. Not really that many, but like, I'd say like 15. I was such a bitch. So, um, I don't know. I don't really, I love cleaning, but I don't like cleaning floors. What's your favorite chore? What's your favorite chore that you can do? Um, that's the question of the day. Shoot me a DM. What's your favorite chore? Personally, I love doing the dishes by hand I love that warm water and that soap something about it um there's a whole section of TikTok by the way like people do cleaning videos and if you need inspo before

you clean if you're like fuck it I don't want to clean my toilet right now I don't want to clean my shower there is literally I will say my hell on earth is scrubbing my shower tiles it sucks it's so like it's impossible to make it look like perfect like I have so many tools so many scrubbers everything the only thing I I finally upgraded my I stopped using soft scrub and I'm using comment we talked about that earlier shout out to pines all um but it's so frustrating because I'm like I finish it and then it's like yes it smells clean it does look clean but it's not like I want it to be like brand new looking every time and I just can't get there so um patreon.com slash tjms uh go over there and support the show so I can hire a maid because

I'm getting a little bit antsy about angsty about my cleaning um my lack of uh scrubbing abilities or whatever the fuck it's called um I used to live with someone we used to get a maid every week and that was so unnecessary because I was the one cleaning the house 24 7 and then we decided that actually we're gonna like let you off the hook and you can uh just rely on the maid and then whenever there's a mess it was like we still cleaned it even though we had maids coming it's a weird time um was i saying oh but yeah if you're if you need inspo before you clean just go on cleaning tiktok it makes you feel some type of way it's like you watch someone spray the little stuff and scrub it and it's so soapy and bubbly and then they like show it after there's something

about it I don't know what it is it's like the satisfaction of like seeing something dirty and get dirty dirty and get clean but um anyways so I like cleaning I I watch that before I clean my bathroom because I really get like fucking annoyed I'm like oh and then my tile on my floor is so tiny I have these little like I don't even know what kind of tile it is it's nice it's really nice but um yeah okay another thing now I have to be really honest and vulnerable and I don't know if anyone even got to this point again but um I feel like I haven't been 100% honest with you guys because I'm kind of intentionally skipping skipping out talking about working at move you and like that whole experience in my first year in San Diego like I feel like that story needs to

get told I feel like I should just release it into the universe and say stop being attached and stop being like scared to talk about it um because it's yeah it's like kind of it's just like a it's like I almost feel like I'm I've blocked it out and we're like I've I don't know like I'm trying to move forward from it and so talking about it I don't know I just feel like for some reason I know we're in this like relationship where I'm telling you guys everything but I feel like that's a key thing that um is a huge part of kind of like my life over the last handful of years. And I feel like I'm, I'm avoiding talking about it. So I don't know. I think I might, I I've gotten advice about it and stuff. And I just like,

I don't know a lot of, and the thing is now, the reason why I feel like I should be, I'm more comfortable talking about it is because of my coworkers that have moved on from the company. And so they're all talking about it. And I'm like, well, I might as well tell my story because I think it's really fucking, it's interesting, it's unique, it's wild, you know, the ending was fucking crazy, but yeah, long story short, guys, if you don't know, if you're just tuning in now, I worked for a movie, I started a company, 2018, when I first moved to San Diego, and like, was there for a year, lived with the CEO, dated the CEO, then I worked for company and then left on this left quit cold turkey walked away and um I've never shared

details like I've never talked about anything so I don't know um anyways that's all I'm gonna say like I'm avoiding it I know I'm self I'm self-aware that like I've I'm not being 100% honest about that phase of my life so I don't know I'm just kind of like I'm honestly just over it but I do feel obligated to talk about it at some point, and if I talk about it, like, early in these episodes, it'll get buried so deep that, actually, no, I want, like, I, to be honest, like, I want it to be exposed, I want to talk about it, but I'm, like, kind of nervous, because it's a lot, and it's very, like, I could just, yeah, traumatizing is a, I feel like it's underplaying what I really feel but anyways um not to be dramatic but it was a lot it was a lot a lot of highs a lot of

fucking lows I'll tell you that and I still feel like there's certain things in my life where I'm like kind of like fucked up from it so I don't know you guys can read between the lines you can assume what you want but I'm just being I'm being vague because I'm just I don't know if I want to get into my feels about that right now. So yeah, it's Tuesday. It's fucking burrito Tuesday. That's enough for the end of the show. I'm actually kind of getting hungry now, so I'm going to nourish my body and eat breakfast. Do you guys know, do you guys want to know what I eat for breakfast? Like every single day? I love this. I'm just so obsessed, you know, my breakfast. So, and I'm going to talk about food right now because I'm actually hungry as fuck. I'm going to drink water

though um I don't want to be an influencer I don't want to influence you so just like don't copy what I eat um but I'll tell you I do oatmeal and egg whites I like put egg whites in the oatmeal sounds disgusting but it's not there's something about it it's just like a good combo I put cinnamon in there um and I eat it like a lot of egg whites because it's like just easy protein to eat um supports my muscles right now my all my lifting I'm doing and I do frozen raspberries and I do a little bit of cacao nibs a little sea salt and then I put fucking like a scoop of almond butter like a tablespoon or the fuck I don't know how much I put on and yeah that's usually my breakfast and I love it it's so filling and it holds me over for a long fucking time and especially

when I'm just like chilling like that's pretty much all I eat and then I have dinner after I workout so last night you guys witnessed me fucking eating tuna cans again like I've become more and more basic about my food lately because it's like I'm working out a lot and lifting and I'm just like how can I get this source of protein in most efficiently and quickly and it's kind of a chore like last night I'm like telling you guys on like I don't know like the weird thing is like the more I work out the more healthy I want to eat it's like this good it's a good thing it's a really good thing for me but last night I'm like oh this is so annoying like I know I need to I barely ate protein yesterday so I was trying to like get in my protein it was just like a chore

I was like fucking eating tuna but I sauce it up real good I put fucking I mustard what else I put on a little barbecue sauce fucking mustard barbecue sauce it's like weird but it's good a little nutritional yeast sprinkle that a little pepper and paprika I don't know and I like I like cold tuna out of the can I keep my tuna cans see the thing is now why the fuck am I talking about tuna I put that shit in the fridge so that way when I open the can it's like cold and it's not gross because I feel like tuna and room temp fuck off like no thanks all right I'm gonna end the podcast on that note that was your uh surf part of the surf and turf podcast Tuesday surf and turf burrito burrito Tuesday is that what I'm gonna call it maybe I don't know

we'll find out see what I call it next week I mean what's Tuesday Tuesday is like Tuesday Tuesday booze day Tuesday no Tuesday I don't know everyone says taco Tuesday and I'm saying burrito Tuesday because I'm different I'm different I'm quirky okay I'll leave you on this people watching note here we've got a fucking husky looking thing with green bandana on it's probably for it's that's honestly like her mask that she put around her dog's neck and she's just like at that point in the year she's like fucking coronavirus fuck off I'm putting my she's like I just I know I have to have this and I walk in the store later but I'm just gonna like store it on my dog so she put the green her green mask around her dog's neck and she's walking in she's got a

little low pony um she's got those like flare yoga pants not the like weight like the skinny legging one she's got like flares on they're cute they're like gray and she's got a black tee on she's honestly one of the she's a new neighbor for sure I don't recognize anyone today you know what I think it is I think people are honestly just really making their taking their strides in this neighborhood. Like they're really venturing out past their normal zone and they're going on really, really long walks. So a lot of people from far, far away in the city are venturing out towards where I live. And it's kind of nice to see. Cause you know what? Sometimes I like roll my eyes at the same neighbors. I'm just like, I'm just sick of seeing you. I'm never sick of

seeing me. I'm a neighbor, but I will say I have a new, this is a fucking five hour podcast. I'm drinking more coffee. I'm still not done. So you know what? The thoughts have not squeezed all the way out number one coffee is not finished and I am still having the best time of my life and I love podcasting there's this new guy hold on um hi there's I've never dated a black guy never dated one it's not like just I've never done that but I'm attracted I've always been attracted to black guys like I've always I don't know like I just I don't really have like I'm attracted to every like race. I'm not like, if that makes sense, like if you're hot, you're hot. If you're beautiful, you're like, I don't. So anyways, I'm just like seeing this guy and he's got this little

dog. It's like, um, what's a French bulldog. And it doesn't make sense for him because he's like this tall black guy. And I'm like, what the fuck is this tiny little French bulldog doing with you? And he's actually really, really hot. But I, um, so yeah, I'm like never sick of seeing him. um he came out before the before I started the podcast on his morning walk but um anyways there's a lot like I don't know should I talk about dating relationships should I talk about like what I like to I don't know I should talk about like my I went on like a crazy rampage of dating uh I went on like so many first dates this is last year yeah I was just trying to like after I quit that job and I was like fucking soul stripped I was like I just need to be out I need

to talk to new people I need to get around new people and so I went on like I lit up every app I had I was going on dates like every other day I had like two in one day I had like a lunch and a dinner date um but I could talk about in a podcast about like my dating and shit I do I'm sick of first dates dude just like okay I'm gonna say this too if you're still here hi welcome to the podcast uh what am I saying um I'm trying to be really honest and just straight up with people and like I'm I'm not set in my ways you know what I mean but I'm like realizing that I've done a lot of dating I've had a lot of you know experiences and stuff and I'm realizing like I am so fucking traditional and like simple about what I'm looking for and I've dabbled

in just about everything and I'm like I still am like going back to that like I just want to be the fucking like Cinderella and I want Prince Charming like that's it I just that's what I want I want like a normal life with like kids and a dog and like a house I want that like simple shit I don't know like because I'm around a lot of people and like when I date guys it's like they're just they're into so many like crazy ass things and like kinky shit and they're like dating like six girls at a time they're in open relationships and they're into all this like crazy like spiritual shit and they're having orgies and it's like yo I just am looking for someone that's down to like be with one person for the rest of the rest of their life like for

real and not like oh I'm just like oh I'm just I don't know and I think that there's a lot of talk out there about how it's not really what humans are designed for and blah blah blah but I don't know like I just want someone to fucking commit because that's been the issue like yeah I've dated a lot of guys but have they been do I consider them my boyfriends fuck no they never were they were afraid of they were non-committal they were just like not I mean honestly neither was, I was, like, not, I'm never gonna, I wasn't, like, ready to, like, settle down ever, but it would be nice if someone was, like, initially looking to settle down, and, like, I actually, because, I don't know, I don't want to, I don't want to waste my time anymore, like, playing around

with guys that are just, like, still in that phase of, but some of those guys are in their, that fucking phase until they're, like, 50. I know that's just a, I kind of think that there's, like two camps of guys out there that they're like non-committal bachelors bachelors for their whole life like multiple marriages multiple like it's there's just a lot going on you know what I mean and it's just very complicated there's like that and then there's like guys that are just like I just want to get married and have kids and settle the fuck down and I don't care a lot of people would say oh that's not the way it's supposed to be that's boring that's not a good life whatever but honestly I look around there's a lot of people doing that and they're happy and

I think like deep down that's what I'm looking for so don't hit me up if you're looking to you know throw me in the loop with like 15 other people at one time because I'm not interested and that's on knowing yourself and being uh and setting boundaries and really like because here's the thing I've been I've been persuaded in the past I've been like persuaded into like you know open relationship and you know like just like we don't we don't need to settle down or we don't need to be this we don't have to define us we don't I love that when guys are like we don't need to label this I hate labels I hate but I don't know it's just a bunch of cop-out excuses so they could fuck around and I'm just like at the point now where I've had those experiences

I understand that I feel fucked over and heartbroken every single time so now it's like I'm coming out the gates like look I make me your woman or fuck off like that's how it is I don't want to be I'm not interested if I'm not going to be taken seriously like that if I'm just going to be in part of the part of the um the loop not interested but I don't know just know yourself fucking know yourself know what you want don't don't waver for anyone don't get sucked into bullshit because honestly I think that's what happens a lot of us are like oh well I want them to like me and I'll just do what they say and I'll go along to get along fuck that this podcast is five hours. I'm going to end it right now. Happy Tuesday. I'll be here tomorrow. This is a great

show. Hope you enjoyed episode 19. Patreon.com slash TJMS. Go and support the show over there, or you can go to my YouTube channel. Subscribe for the video podcast launching October 1st. Yeah, have a great Tuesday. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay, bye guys.