The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 203- The Funky Suez

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS

Hey, guys. Happy Friday. It's episode 203. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show happy Friday um today went so fast I don't know what's happening this week went so fast anyways um I'm faking it right now I don't know if you can hear it in my voice but um I was in a full-on f-u-n-k today a funk and I don't know why I spelled it Jesus and I was in such a bad funk today for the first time in like forever and I literally just got done walking Jimmy. So that pulled me out of the house. Like made me feel better. And I was, I was like the thing that's going to seal the deal and finish my Friday off on the right foot is getting on the

podcast and talking it out and being positive. So here I am. Um, I don't know. I haven't had one of these days in a while. So let me set the scene for you right now. The sun is setting. I'm watching sailboats out my window. Jimmy's eating a beef bone in the background. If I don't know if you can hear it, but he's chewing on a cow. I'm personally drinking a, um, cause I'm not eating right now. I'm not eating right now. I'm like, dude, we'll talk about what I ate today. Um, I got some life updates about what I'm eating. Sounds dramatic, but it's fucking not. Um, I'm drinking a sparkling orange grapefruit, grapefruit, fuck grape. Is it grapefruit or grapefruit grapefruit I don't like that word it always tripped me up as a kid is it grapefruit

or grapefruit like fuck it I'm drinking sparkling water I added some lime to it and um anyways let me take a sip so yeah I have a notebook full of notes today I'm stoked about that I um made that a goal in the 200 episode so I hit 200 on Tuesday and I was like all right time to get my shit together, take notes, come prepared and, um, show up with shit to tell you guys instead of just whatever comes to mind. So, um, before I get into my list today, go over to Patreon. Oh God. I am so sick of saying Patreon. I'm so sick of the word Patreon. Is there a different, I'm sorry, shout, you know, shout out Patreon. You're awesome. Grateful for you. But like the name Patreon, I need to know the background behind it. In fact, I'm going to Google that at some

point in the episode why is it called Patreon is that because of patron like you're a patron okay please head over to patreon.com slash tjms to uh get access to okay here's what it is it's like the it's like the diehard fan group page or whatever where you like I'll call you regularly I will shout you out every Friday on my so today I'll give you a shout out and then in the future like when I get a bunch of people on there I'll do zoom hangouts live and I don't know but whatever check it out there's a bunch of random videos and pictures up there right now patreon.com slash tjms um have at it fucking go hard I don't care um what am I saying like this is okay I'm in a I'll, everything today that I say that I'm, uh, that doesn't add up is just, it just,

this is what I'm going to say. I was in a funk today. I get a pass. Why do I sound congested? Wait, hold on. I don't like this. Oh shit. coronavirus COVID um so first off um where do I want to start it's Friday oh I woke up today I thought Jimmy was gonna die because he wasn't getting out of bed for like an hour which was odd he just sat there and slept in and I think he just wanted to like he was fine because as soon as I picked him up and put him on the ground he started running around and he went and took a shit instantly outside so he was fine but like that first hour of him laying there really made me worried and I had a meeting to get to right away and I was like worried about him the whole

time I knew he was on the bed and it was a whole thing but um I guess I guess that was this morning and then also guys I have a I think part of the reason why I'm not feeling so hot I mean just okay I'm a woman I'm not feeling so hot uh this week or actually starting yesterday use your imagination I'm not gonna explain it is what it is but part of the reason I feel like I didn't like I had a funky day is because I literally look like I have rat eyes like red beady beat red beady sickly rat eyes dude I got this lash serum called grande lash that I've been using for like the last two months and part of the um it's like what what do you call it when you um it's like you give up something to have the other thing what's what's the phrase

it's part of the drill anyways part of having nice lashes is oh your naked eyes when you have no makeup on are gonna look kind of red from that serum and it's not a reaction I well maybe it is whatever um but I quit I quit wearing makeup cold turkey for like the last I feel like the whole the last the all of March like I haven't put I haven't put makeup on maybe like one or two times but um so I've been looking like shit lately because of my eyes and then honestly you guys know how I went to that um I went to that hair appointment and there's like a whole episode about it I think I titled that episode um yeah it's the look me and look me in my eyes episode of when I went and got my hair dyed and and updated because I uh I'm a brunette I dyed my

hair blonde so whatever so uh anyways the update another reason another reason why I feel like shit or whatever I feel like I look like shit is I it's not quite right my hair is like it's like this dull blonde off color and so my face my eyes are red I'm not wearing any makeup ever anymore my hair's the wrong color and I just and honestly guys I need to get I need to stop wearing these fucking sweat outfits every day I don't think it's good for my mental health and that was one of my goals I was like oh part of my get to get my shit together routine that I put together with you guys on like a Friday and beginning of March like the first week of March I set out all these new goals and I think one of them was like okay dress up even though you work

from home stop wearing your sweat outfits but um anyways I need to like yeah get my shit together and stop being a little 2020 sloth like I don't know I'm it's almost like I'm doing the shit to myself like Jacqueline just well I'm not gonna stop using the serum but like maybe put some concealer on your eyes and put some eyeshadow on and put on some makeup and like just quickly make like all I need to do honestly is make a hair appointment it's the hair it's the fucking hair I have been on a hair journey for a year trying to be the blonde I want to be the blonde Barbie goddess I'm trying to be and it hasn't been quite right yet and so anyways I just need to make a hair appointment and I also need to get Jimmy a new collar that's a note here Jimmy's got a thick

fucking neck now he's getting big and um dude I'm not getting him a harness I don't like those I think they look stupid on dogs I'm sorry if you I know it's like probably better for them or it's more comfortable so it's you're not like like uh tugging at their neck but I don't know I had multiple dogs growing up and we never used a harness and they were fine in fact if anything we were using the uh the choke chains and the fucking zapper collars and shit we were you know we had we used force jesus christ um but yeah I need to get him a new collar I need to make a hair appointment um I need to start putting like you know what I want to do I need to find a bunch of like

bright colorful floral like blouses and cute tops and like fun happy springy outfits because I just feel like that's what I need that's gonna like be the cherry on top of my life right now because for the most part most days are good like I'm happy I love what I'm doing with my life right now I'm up all the time like for the most part and of course you know the puppy's helping so much but I feel like I'm totally setting myself back with like not putting on a fucking fashion show for myself every day and I don't know where this came from because I am at my soul like if you guys look back on um I'm like weird about I like will never delete my first Instagram pictures and shit but like I was so into like fashion-y stuff and like I wanted to work for Vogue and like Devil

wears Prada was my favorite movie. And in fact, I didn't want to transfer to like, I, I did community college and I sat my parents down. I said, I want to go to fashion school after this. Like, I don't want to go to regular school. I want to go to fashion school. I was applying at like FITM and then New York schools. And, um, like that's me at heart. Like that little girl, that girl is still there, but I wear fucking yoga outfits and sweats every day. And I don't know. And let's be honest, let's, let's transition here into, uh, what I ate today. Dude, I, first of all, this is so, this doesn't like, um, why was I going to mention summer? Right? Jesus Christ that she just popped in my brain. Okay. Do I need to blow my nose? Okay. So I mentioned the outfits. I'm wearing

sweats. There's a reason for that. A bitch gained weight in 2020. I don't want to call myself a bitch. Okay. I'm saying that I'm not at my, my, my clothes don't fit like I want them to. And I just need to go shopping, but I'm stubborn as fuck. And I'm like, I will wear this sweat pants until my tiny little tiniest jeans fit. Like that's the kind of, I'm like that kind of person. And I'm very militant about what I'm doing right now because I'm just over it. I'm just like 2020 is done. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and wearing fucking sweats. And it's like that episode it's that scene in Mean Girls she's like sweatpants are the only thing that fit me right now because fucking Katie Katie Heron like fed her the those fattening protein bars and shit

and this might be like I roll a girl talking about her weight a girl okay I'm not that's not the kind of podcast I do here I'm not a wellness podcast I'm not a fitness journey podcast I'm not a diet culture bitch like that's like the most you're like I don't that's not what this is but I'm saying um I feel like there's something that happens to me when I'm like okay I just want to like get really fit again and my brain goes into um I can't say this because it's absolutely gonna get me canceled um I was gonna bring up bring up a piece of history but I can't um my brain switches into this mode where like there's no wavering there's no going back I'm not gonna fucking I hate the word cheat meals and shit like cheating I don't do any of that I just like stick

with the program until I get to my goal and then that's what it is and that's where I'm at I'm like fucking focused right now I'm zeroed in and I'm like look hot girl this summer is anyone else does anyone else feel like this summer is going to be the most like hypey fucking raging beautiful amazing people just like coming back together partying having fun type of summer ever because because that's what I'm sensing. That's kind of energy. I feel like it's the calm before the storm right now. Everyone's like, you know, hot girl summer, hot girl summer. We're like doing all of our fucking self-care shit right now. We're all trying to like, you know, be on point. It's like, it's kind of like that. And I'm joining the club. Like, yo, I want to be out there and I don't want

to be, I don't want to be in my fucking sweatpants. Okay. So end of this long story short, uh, oh, I was going to talk about what I ate today. Jesus. It's so fucking boring. Guess what I ate today? guess what my fucking typical fucking like you just I don't know uh dude why I don't I don't want to influence people and like tell them what I eat but I mean it's like okay I had like a fucking grilled chicken salad I ate like black or ate I drank coffee with like I just had black espresso with ice um I had some baby carrots at one point I had a protein shake at one point you know what I mean like that kind of I'm in that mode okay so I'm bored I don't want to keep talking about this but uh I'm just so like I don't know if anyone else does that where you kind of get to

this point with like your fitness life or your fitness and diet and shit you're just like I'm laser focused I am not fucking around anymore and that's where I'm at so um I don't know guys you know what it would be I feel like in the past like I just I don't know I don't want to talk about I think I just let I just said like oh it's the weekend like eat whatever like I did a lot of that shit and I think it caught up with me it really fucking did let's be honest it did um I need a Roomba I have a note here I need a Roomba I'm sick and tired of fucking vacuuming I'm sick and tired of swearing as well um I'm sick and tired of not necessarily vacuuming I actually like vacuuming but my handheld like what's that called like a little dust vac

for my apartment is a joke like I have to vacuum three times a day because I have a new puppy he's tracking little speckles of dirt all around my white floor and like it's constantly a thing so I'm looking into going on you know of course Amazon I'm looking at a little robot situation that could go around it just for fun honestly it would be like having another pet like having it's it's like you know robots are trending they're trendy at some point we're gonna have them and like I'll get a little vacuum one and it'll be entertainment Jimmy he'll probably fucking sit on it and ride around like a like a little uh motorbike uh no what would it be like if he sat on a Roomba that'd be like a uh it's like flat it's like an inner tube it's

like he's tubing in a leg but no it's not like dude why am I trying to make a comparison right now in my head it'd be like his little fucking lily pad his little frog lily pad dude he's a beaver first of all have you guys seen all those videos of me of him like dragging log logs of wood throughout the the city and shit like he goes over to a palm tree and whatever fell under it is like his and he's like this is mine I'm gonna carry it across the entire along the entire walk even though it's like 10 feet long he'll drag it the whole way and I'm just like look this is entertainment for other people have at it do your thing like it's funny for me I'm taking videos of it. It's entertaining for pastor buyers and he's not hurting anyone and he's building strength and

confidence. And I feel like he feels good about himself when he does that. He's like, look at me being productive, working, engaging my muscles and engaging my glutes. Anyways, um, this is fucked up, but I looked at him today and I was like, he, he's got, he's got a weak ass my son has a weak ass he needs bigger glutes and like I'm not body shaming him and I know he's growing and he's in his awkward puppy phase where he kind of looks like his full he looks like how he's gonna like I can tell what he's gonna look like full grown from the way his like body has changed in the last month or so um because I got him in eight weeks and now he's what four months old four yeah but anyways I'm like you got a tiny little ass dude you need to like

I need to like put him to work I'm gonna have him um I'm gonna start like how would I build his glutes honestly I'm just gonna start feeding him a lot more I think another thing dude you know what's also fucked up I'm like I want a big fucking golden retriever like I want a big dog like I don't want a little tiny one so I'm like wait am I fucking up right now by not like giving him a lot of extra like raw meat and eggs and like peanut butter and all this extra shit like am I fucking up right now I'm like you know what I mean am I supposed to be I don't want to over feed him but I want to like get him anyways so I need a Roomba back to that Jesus Christ um hey hey guess what I'm in a funk I get a pass and also I feel better so everything I'm saying um

I'm first of all I'm having fun I feel better and my Friday's gonna end on a high note because of this. And I hope you're, I hope this is helping. I hope this is making your life better. And I don't know how it would be, but I hope it is. Okay. Stay with me. Fucking stay with me. Let's get into this Roomba situation, but I really need a new vacuum. Um, honestly, I'm going to get one of those like stick vacuum. It's not that I don't want to, I, okay. I got hardwood and I got marble or tile or whatever so I don't need a like a big like normal vacuum I just want like a skinny like pole with a power thing on the top of it that I can walk around with and it's simple and it's light and I can just do that every day instead of what I'm doing because I'm literally breaking

my back bending over because it's a little hand it's a hand vacuum and I'm like looking at it right now, it's, like, plugged in against the wall, it's such a joke, like, Jocelyn, like, I don't know, I'm getting, I'm over it, okay, so, I have that as a note, I'm not crossing shit off, let me cross this off, dude, we need to take a seventh inning stretch right now, I haven't done that in a while, um, will I cross these things off, dog collar, rat eyes, I literally wrote rat eyes, um, hair looks like shit wrote that yeah I used to do seven thinning stretches during my first episodes because I was I had like a come down section where I'd be like okay that was a

lot of energy that was a little that was a little too chaotic I need to bring it down you know tone it down if I can go coach take me out we're having time out right now I'm going to the locker room And, uh, anyways. Oh, by the way, I just posted, remember, remember on yesterday's episode, remember, remember, remember on yesterday's episode, remember, uh, remember yesterday how, I just assume everyone listens seven days a week. I don't, that's just what I do here. I just assume you listen to every episode, you know what's going on. Anyways, remember yesterday how I said I want to make an Instagram page where I post for my podcast just for like just to house content and like promote it or whatever someday like just to have that hub for my show um I said

I want to post like bullshit content on that page just like here's a picture of my kitchen sink after I cook breakfast and here's like a gross pan and like just like real life shit I don't even know like what I was thinking but I did that today so go figure it out on Instagram go find the show's page and like I literally posted my empty salad bowl today like that kind of stuff and I don't know why I'm doing it I don't know why I'm doing it but I feel like um it it kind of matches the show and because I'm so quote-unquote like raw and real raw and real with you guys here I like let my pants down every day I'm like this is what's happening this is what's going on. And, um, I don't want my podcast page to be like aesthetic and filtered and cute and

all that shit. It's like, no, like I have a picture on there right now where Jimmy's sniffing the garbage can and it's like his shit bag sticking out because he's okay. Anyways, figure it out. Go find it. Um, why did I, Oh, the reason I'm saying this is because I also posted pictures of my notebook and the notes I write, like the show notes. So I thought that might be fun for you guys and I don't like I say stuff on here and some of the stuff I say wasn't wasn't off the top of my head if I'm reading from my notes and there's a little insider information for you like like I had I thought about why I feel why I look like shit or why I feel like shit and I wrote oh my rat eyes like on a piece of paper so I remember to say that am I do I just did I just

lose a bunch of people's does that make me less um good at what I do here I don't know I'm sharing my notes I'm sharing you know I'm sharing my notes on my podcast page go check it out anyways um today was a really funky day like I said and um for a reason like I said I'm a woman okay it's it's some there is um there's a guest in this house this week okay and it is not fun and it like I don't know today I was so tired and drained and I was nappy like I had a work day at a meeting this morning I worked for the most majority of the day and then I just crashed this afternoon and I had like cooking shows going on in the background and like random YouTube videos and I napped for like two hours and um anyways um

crossing that off I said I took a nap Jesus this is kind of a audio vlog this uh episode I used to do that every day like the style of my first episodes was like I did 24 hour updates like here's everything I did for the last 24 hours because I should I have the hiccups anyway so this this episode feels kind of like I don't know it's like reminiscent of that and whatever did I say the day went fast because I feel like the day went fast and um where was I was like I took a nap uh the day went fast oh I woke up from the nap and I was like I'm not gonna let this day slap like go go to the shitter so I got Jimmy up because he was napping too I said come on boy and we went outside and we got some fresh air

we listened to a podcast and then um I don't know like came in here and I'm podcasting did we just go full circle did we I think we did did I just finish the episode is that everything oh I'm gonna talk about Egypt and the Suez Canal fuck okay you know honestly speaking of Jimmy and the walk like me in 2020 having a funky day would have like I'm talking like a year ago March April May the depression era of my life like the worst time like the hardest time I've had with myself because I was quarantining alone I just moved into my own apartment um in a new area in the city I lost my job the world was kind of funky and crazy and weird funky is the word of the day if you're curious and um I don't know it's like a shitty time but me a year ago would have been

like oh I'm having a funky day and then I take a nap at you know in the afternoon and then I just stay there and watch tv all night but the point of me saying this is now that I have a puppy now that I have a dog like he gets me outside I'm like motive I have a reason to like get up and go and to like be positive and like I and I'm not being I don't I'm not selfish anymore it's like not all about me and not feeling well it's like oh I have to take care of something else and that's helping me so much so Jimmy's the cure puppies are the cure dogs are the cure if you're a little depressed piece of shit out there like just get a dog dude changed my life I think there's there's like a there's some snowballing there's some events that are snowballing right now in my life

in a really cool way and this is my this was my plan guys like I I set out so I figured out in the first couple months of podcasting that consistency and getting a little bit better each day like one percent better one foot in front of the other each day like worrying about what's ahead of you for the day versus the end result all the time um doing that is it leads to like a more fulfilling and happy life and and I feel like it brings you to the present moment better whatever but I guess what I said no the reason I'm saying this is I figured that out and I said look I'm not going back like I'm not gonna unlearn this unremember this I'm not gonna unapply this or whatever like this is what it is this is the little golden nugget I learned in my

20s about how to keep myself going and I gotta fucking stick with it so here's my little mid podcast reminder to myself that a bitch has momentum a bitch is getting one percent better every day trying to uh but I'm making positive forward steps right now or I have been for like the last six months and like the last thing I want to do right now is revert back to old patterns old ways like let myself kind of just make more excuses and just give no none of that shit like that doesn't exist anymore I'm uh what is that fucking phrase out there in podcast and in middle aged boy middle-aged man um podcast land fucking conquer your inner bitch that's what I'm doing or not dude why is it that all of the podcast like why is it that all of the podcasts I love

and listen to are like 40s 50s 60s I don't really know how old these guys are and they're like middle-aged white dudes should I list them or is that rude I don't want to make them feel insecure like I'm calling you middle-aged because you are and you're losing your hair you're bald and you're a it's just like that is what I am drawn to and that's what's interesting and entertaining and fun for me to listen to and also daddy issues like that's a podcast I actually listen to but like kind of I don't like to say that about myself but like I realized that maybe I'm subconsciously or consciously seeking out these kinds of or I'm drawn to these men podcasting and everything is because I don't have a super present father figure like I don't have a normal

like when in my eyes quote it's normal for me now but quote-unquote like normal relationship with my dad and so um where I have where I don't have that like I don't know he I have him he's there we have a great relationship but it's not like I see him all the time and I barely do anymore and it's just like it is what it is but um I'm talking about having like a mentor like a father figure like they're just like here I have a dad he's great he's great for advice I call him all the time but these guys are like five more dads with like even more good stuff coming in my brain and like helpful information so you know if I need financial help they are talking about if I need um self-help mental health help um dude fucking uh like anyone who helps and talks about interesting

shit that would help me on Joe Rogan's show like those people like it all it's all good it's all good it's all in a giant pot it's all contributing to me and my growth and you have your parents and then you got your podcast parents and that's what it is okay fuck I'm not trying to diss any family members or parents it's not like that I'm just saying that when I started first of all when I started listening listening to these guys like it's been what my parents got divorced when I was 20 and that was like the rough patch and I honestly like there was a couple like two years I didn't really talk to my dad um but anyways I feel like that's when I really leaned on those kind of guys and shit okay um that went to a weird place but still can't find a couch

ever note here who's getting sick and tired of me telling you guys that um yeah can't find it it's going to be like the biggest deal this year when I, when a couch, when a new couch goes through my threshold and lays at rest in my fucking living room, because I have a vision. And until I find the couch I'm looking for, I will not settle for anything less. And I cannot do another, like I, for example, like this weekend, I have to go to the laundromat and because I wait I just assume everyone listens every day if you're like why do you go to the laundromat don't you have your shit together in life like why do you go there like why do you why don't you have a laundromat in your apartment like or laundry okay I do but I like going to the

laundromat and uh I'm just saying I gotta go this weekend and clean the cushion covers like this is the weekend I got to do my cushion covers my pillow covers my comforter on my bed my sheets like all of that which I kind of sickly like I'm sick about it's sick that I like I love I love doing laundry at heart like I honestly do but the fact I just like want to throw this it's a fucking love seat it's not what it's it's a piece of shit I'm great I'm grateful look I got a roof over my head, I got a couch, it's fine, I'm grateful, I'm blessed, whatever, I got it made, but it's a piece of shit, and I'm sick and tired of doing the upkeep on it, I just want a new couch, and I can't find one, someone, anyways, Suez Canal, it's got, we got issues, let's look it up, and it had me thinking

about the um so yeah there's a big-ass ship let me just read the news about it i mean you guys probably already know suez canal it's all over right now the evergreen ship it's it's fucking stuck sideways in there they can't move it and it's blocking like what did i post today i reposted something that's like um yeah the giant ship stuck in the suez canal is costing the global economy an estimated 400 million dollars per hour it's the cargo ship it says is the size of the size of the empire state building on average 9.7 billion dollars in goods travels through the canal connecting asia Asia and Europe every day so anyways that's happening looks like the bitch is still stuck

and it had me so I looked up the map I was like on the google maps and I was remembering I had a little flashback to um Trump's COVID aid bill or whatever that had all that extra stuff in it that everyone got pissed off about um it was like the 900 900 billion dollar one that that came out in um like the end of december anyways everyone's pissed off at him because they're there's so much money going to other countries and one of those countries was egypt and i'm reading here we um the bill gave Egypt 1.3 billion dollars for the Egyptian military and which will go out and buy almost exclusively oh which will go out and buy I didn't read the second part which will go out and buy almost exclusively Russian military equipment okay that's why people are really

pissed off but anyways I was I was thinking about it and um we uh I was then I was reading about like foreign um what's it called foreign aid foreign what do we what do they call it foreign aid foreign relations is it called foreign relations no it's not called that why dude I'm in a funk today I get a pass foreign relations what is the damn it it's on the tip of my tongue international affairs foreign affairs yeah foreign affairs okay um I was reading up on our relationship with Egypt and I remembered hearing about that like the reason we give money to other countries like for example egypt is because of the of these canals where we you know pump a bunch of shit through and like we need i don't know like i don't know i honestly don't

know what we do but i'm like oh we have bases there or we have buildings there like people that work there we have control there some shit and like we need to give them money to like can to maintain that relationship I mean and to like fund these fucking ship ports or whatever like I don't know so I was looking up and guys do you want to learn about our relationship with Egypt and when it all started because I want to um U.S. Department of State state.gov here we go started in 1922 um here we go uh the united states established and you're like why are you talking about egypt it's like the suez canal is in egypt okay so there you go and the fucking evergreen empire empire state building i was gonna say truck fucking ship is

is it's blocking the canal and so this is it's all dude it's all tied up in a bow and packaged right to you okay if you just listen if you just sit down and listen to me it will all make sense by the end of the episode why am i fake crying jesus christ the united states established diplomatic relations with egypt in 1922 following its independence from protectorate protectorate that's a hard word to say status under the united kingdom okay um i want to know about economic relations total two-way trade in goods between the united states and egypt was 8.6 billion dollars in 2019 there you go u.s exports to egypt include u.s exports to egypt include wheat and corn mineral fuel and oil machinery aircraft and iron and steel products u.s imports from egypt include

apparel natural gas and oil fertilizers textiles and agricultural products there you go so we got a relationship sounds like it started in 1922 and we uh the total trade or whatever between the two of us is like nine billion dollars i'm i'm rounding up because i can um egypt and the united states belong to a number of the same international organizations including the united nations of course international monetary fund world bank and world trade organization east egypt is am i reading too fast for because i don't know like when you listen to a podcast is i forget like sometimes i'm like wait is it better if they talk or do i like the podcast host or like the podcast style better when they talk slow or can i pay attention when

they talk fast i don't know i'm gonna go in between here we go each egypt also is shoot me a dm let me know but what do you like fast or slow okay i can do it all here i'm a circus clown all right egypt also is a partner for cooperation with the organization for security and corporation in europe blah blah anyways we got a relationship that's what i learned and started in 1922 i'll never forget this um bureau of near eastern affairs what's this you know i did i did mention uh an idea the other day i forget what episode i it's all a blur dude and I was like would it be fun if I got I took you guys down the rabbit hole with me and I pressed record and I started reading I started researching and started talking about

like one thing and then I because I do that on my own and so I thought why don't I just record it and narrate what I'm looking at what I'm learning so that's kind of what I'm doing here I did that yesterday on the episode about um the U.S. Mexico border and uh the situation with the kids and all that going on um like I firsthand encountered like I I like read from different websites and shit yesterday and like found out new stuff that I didn't know and anyways um should we like study international affairs tonight I'm feeling good do I want to like make this an hour and 30 podcast two-hour podcast I got notifications on my phone hold on this is the second seven something stretch

mom replying to my story he's so perfect my puppy no I know crying eyes sobbing eyes I love him um yeah everyone dude my Instagram is a dog page now it's like I don't take pictures of myself anymore I'm not doing thirst traps I'm not it's like dude here's my puppy. Look, here he is. Look at him. Smile. Have a great day. Goodbye. Like come to my Instagram to feel better because I have a puppy and I'm posting it. I'm posting him every day, all day long, everything he's doing. Um, and I don't know if this is fucked up. He's going to cut the water line with his jaws. Dude, please don't chew the pipe. Thank you. I have a little, I have a water cooler thing, and there's a tiny, what's it called, a tube pipe, and he chews on it, and if I don't

catch him, it's gonna squirt out, but he's actually, actually, now that I see it, he's trying to get his ball, there you go, oh, what was I just saying, okay, I was talking about the Suez Canal, I was talking about Egypt, I was talking about my puppy, talking about my mom, DM me, oh, my Instagram is the dog page um whatever um I don't know what am I looking at now Bitcoin just went wait what's it at I told you told you guys I put my stimulus check in Bitcoin it's at 54k today it's kind hovering it's just it's just staying just staying kind of at the 55 54 spot wow what a graph i mean just look at the fucking all-time graph of bitcoin imagine being that person like uh i was listening to of course i was flagrant too and they were saying like

the people that got in bitcoin when it was pennies uh like they're they like 60 million they they've made 60 million times the amount they invested in or whatever at first versus now people that are getting in at like the 50k even like 10k or 14 where i got in they're like you're only ever if it goes to the if it gets to like the million dollars with amount which is what they're projecting or whatever it's a possibility I'm not giving you advice like I'm not a financial advisor don't what do people say they're like uh don't like do your own due diligence like well okay it's a possibility it could happen it could go to a million dollars but even then people that got in at like 50k like it is today

will only like 10x what their investment was or something like that I don't know compared to the people that like got a 60 million 60 million times or whatever return on investment jesus christ i don't know the technical terms i'm in a funk today i get a pass you get it okay but imagine getting a bitcoin when it was pennies like what the fuck um by the way um people are talking about on the stock market the crash is here it's gonna go it's gonna get even worse. But if you look at a year ago, like what was the date? It was, wasn't it like March 24th? 24th stock crash. Yeah. It bottomed at March 2020 stock crash. Yeah. What date was it? Anyways, it was a year ago. And so it kind of makes sense. Like, okay, if people feel like a

a bunch of people are no I don't know if I'm saying this right someone coached me out there some smart investor person coached me out there and let me know if I'm saying this right because I might be fucking this up right now and I'm willing to sound like a dumbass because I'm still learning about the stock market I got in in 2020 and like started taking seriously but are people that got in at the crash when it's really low in all these companies are is is the market selling off right now and people are what do they call it like their what are their capital gains what I need look this up capital gains finally finally for capital gains tax capital gains and deductible capital yeah aren't isn't because of like taxes and shit it's like that time of year and so it's

all selling off and then so from here moving forward if this is what's happening which is a possibility i'm not saying it is then from here won't it start gradually going back up again i don't know does that make any sense it crashed a year ago people made all their money over the last year the stock market went you know crazy places and then now there's it's all selling off because of capital gains tax is that what's happening go coach me in the dms like let me know am I on the right am I kind of close to it am I hot cold like you know how that there's that game when you're a kid you're like dude I love that game but like I don't even know what we would will we hide and you'd be like warmer hotter colder anyways I feel like I'm sort of close to

what it is let me just look it up let's let's learn together so I'm on I'm on capital gains on google right now do you guys want to know what that is capital gains and deductible capital losses are reported from okay i don't want to talk about the forms 1040 schedule d pdf capital gains and losses okay well i don't really care um okay was i gonna look up um stock market oh this is today Dow climbs 198 why am I why is this a stock market podcast guys I'm not I'm an investor first of all I know I'm a girl and this is fucking annoying I don't think I should be talking about this Dow climbs

a woman belongs in the kitchen she does not belong in the stock market get it right Jacqueline start talking about baking apple pie and gossip about some dramatic boy situation like talk about like a gossip gossip about something juicy and like what do girls like and like like just talk about should I tell you like oh I'm gonna self-tan tonight because I'm going out tomorrow and I have a date and I'm gonna like go out with the girls and like do it I could I could talk like that but I'm talking about the fucking Dow because it climbed 199 points today but I don't know that's just what I'm seeing that's what I'm thinking that's what I'm slight I don't know I'm not really hearing that but just from my like I guess in my brain that would make sense

a year later people made all their fucking money after that crash they're selling that now they're selling it off the money's like shuffling around into different markets right now. And then it'll start evening back out and just quote unquote rebounding. Okay. I don't know. I'm, I'm done, but you know, it's okay. Cause I'm going to funk today and I get a pass and I won't stop saying that. Um, I think that's it. I feel better. I feel better. Um, I finished the episode just in time for a hot shower and a good night's rest. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to shower. I'm going to lay in my bathrobe. I love doing this. I'm going to lay in my bathrobe and watch what I'm going to watch on TV.

Dude, I kind of just want to put on some Guy Fieri and just watch like some diners, drive-ins and dives and just like half watch that and half scroll on social media or do I want to watch that new documentary the sea documentary what's that called everyone's posting about it um it's cool it's like uh sea spiracy yeah no I'm gonna watch that tonight I'm gonna watch that tonight so thanks for hanging out hope you enjoyed this episode um shit I'm tired now I hope you enjoyed this episode hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week every Saturday so tomorrow I do a Q&A so I'll be here this weekend I'll be

here Sunday as well of course I will um but I'm on Q&A number 24 tomorrow so tune in tomorrow if you want to or ask me a question on Instagram I'll post a thing so you can ask me a question and head over to patreon.com slash tjms tjms to support the show get access to my exclusive content my bonus um it's like my fun you know what do i should i just stop plugging patreon i don't know am i good i don't think i'm good at it or i just like don't like saying it oh my god we never found out we never found out why Patreon is called Patreon. What does Patreon mean? Google. Patreon is a crowdfunding platform that enables fans. Okay. I know that, but why was it? The definition is literally that it's

a membership platform. It's like, oh, why did you name it Patreon? Why is it called Patreon? Google. jack conti created by jack conte conte sam yam oh what a name sam yam okay so like if his last name was patreon and if it was in his name or something like that would make sense but uh dude i just want to know because i say it every day i say patreon.com i'm like why is it call Patreon. Maybe they have an about section on Patreon. Oh, what is Patreon? This is their own blog post. Okay. We know this. We know this. It should be like a frequently asked question or it's my frequently asked question. I think of, I think of this every day. Why is it called patreon patreon because i understand like patron the definition of patron is a person

who gives financial or other support to a person organization cause or or activity get your patron on on patreon maybe that's what they fucking wanted to do with their play on words or whatever I don't like it and I use I say I love thank you Patreon thank you for my Patreon members and subscribers for supporting me but um what would be a better name for Patreon yeah like like OnlyFans why don't we just make people go to OnlyFans why do we all have Patreon because it makes sense it's like these are only only fans it's like it's like fans i don't know overthinking it don't need to just uh say it anyways get over it patreon.com

slash tjms check it out shoot your shot see what's up um i just i like to send you guys on a little scavenger hunt like go figure it out like go go to patreon.com slash tjms go fucking have fun and thank you if you um enter your credit card info and slap over five bucks a month because goddamn um you know you're supporting my dream and I'm living my dream because I'm a podcast host and I could do an emotional monologue right now about how I found my passion of with podcasting but we're not going to go there we're going to end the show thank you for hanging out stick around if you're a patron because I'm going to shout you out after this and for the rest of you have a great day and I will talk to you tomorrow all right bye

all right today's patreon.com slash tjms uh patron shout outs still saying patreon jesus patreon.com slash tjms patron shout outs go to I'm not rapping your names this week I know it's silent in the background you're like where's the rap music where's the trap music I'm not doing it this week okay Ricky Jensen oh fuck trap I'm not editing this Trevor Garrett that was an air bubble that released from my sparkling water Trevor Garrett Eagle One Ozzy Osbourne Chris O'Hearn I had to remember off the top of my head because I'm not looking at a list and Bronson Bloom oh and Richie Rich. Did I do, did I say his name twice? Okay. Happy Friday. Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me. Um, wow. Incredible that you guys are all, um, here today in this,

in this day and age, like in this time and this cancel culture, you guys are like with it. You're down with it. You get it. You get me. Um, that's cool. So thank you again. And I love you and goodbye