The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 208- March Favorites + !!!!!!$#%

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

SORRY IN ADVANCE. Patreon.com/TJMS 

Episode 208. Happy Wednesday. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's jacqueline welcome back to the show uh March favorites today let's get into it dude I am so happy right now I love my life look I just put you know when you you just say fuck it with your coffee and I I just put way too much cream and sugar in it and it just tastes so fucking good though so I'm like fuck it I just feel happy because it tastes good and my mom just called me and we talked forever it was great and it's sunny here in San Diego my puppy's being cute right now um I'm gonna talk about all my favorite things about March in this episode. I don't know. I have high energy. I'm excited about life.

Everything is great. Let's get into it. I mean, first though, if you're new, please hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash TJMS to become a supporter of the show officially. I mean, you could silently support me, but if you financially support me you actually okay um patreon.com slash tjms uh you'll get access to my bonus content my exclusive content and you'll get a shout out on Fridays you'll get a phone call from me um lots of fun stuff over there go check it out all right I'm shallow like that we got a pay-to-play no such thing as a free lunch if you want to become an official fangirl of the Jacqueline show you gotta pay up okay all right let's get into my march favorites it's kind of fun to look

back and reflect on what you liked and shit uh i got this idea from youtube beauty gurus but i'm making it a podcast today anyways i'm gonna take another sip of my coffee just because it's dude oh my god it's so good guys i'm too excited about how good my coffee is today i never talk about coffee anymore. And like, Holy shit. Jacqueline, what the fuck? It was too much energy for fucking Wednesday. Okay. Um, am I drunk? I feel literally, you know, when you drink too much coffee, I, I, it was so tasty and so sweet and so good that I chugged too much of it. And now it's like, I'm drunk. I'm fucking over. It's too much. Okay. My first March favorite is Joe Biden falling just kidding um that video though made did you guys see all the memes after that

anyways um that's not a favorite that's actually a uh that's an unfavorite him falling on those stairs is an unfavorite um honestly the suez canal i have a list here so i'm gonna just go off the list so my March favorite number one is Suez Canal that's a recent favorite um because I got on container ship TikTok I got on container ship YouTube after that and anyways I've been having fun uh getting a behind the scenes look on container container container ship container taught ship fucking life. Um, like here's the thing, here's the thing. This is how my brain works. This ship is stuck in the Suez canal. It's making the news. It's an event I've really never seen in my lifetime. I've never seen a ship clog a canal like that. Right. So I don't

really think about container ships. I don't really, you know, they're not really in my brain that often at all. And anyways, so I see this and I'm like watching a news clip on YouTube about it. And then I'm like, wait a minute, what does it look like inside? What do you do when you work on these ships? Like, where do you sleep? Like, where do you go to the office? What does the ship deck look like? Like, I was like, oh my God, I got to know. And that's why I got down all these rabbit holes and so that's a favorite this month um I guess you could say container ships are a favorite this month or the Suez Canal is very I don't know okay so another favorite this month is um this isn't really it's like a hard thing to describe

my probably my biggest March favorite right now or it's fucking the last day of March my biggest March favorite has been not giving a fuck about coronavirus like at all like a month ago or fucking a year ago excuse me I'm drunk um do I need to drink water I do let me okay I don't feel okay I feel shaky and honestly I'm amped up because I talk to my mom on the phone and whenever I talk to people on the phone I get a lot of energy and I'm like ah and I just like anyways okay cool cool and calm Jack cool and calm okay so a year ago I was afraid of breathing other people's oxygen at the grocery store I was afraid for my life I was afraid of dying of coronavirus and being hooked

up on a ventilator or respirator or whatever what are those called ventilators in the hospital like you know what i mean i was scared i was freaked out everything felt gross i was hyper aware of germs and like i was lysoling everything and it was and it was insane and so my favorite thing about this march march 2021 is like being face to face with people in public not giving a fuck and just like enjoying my life and being like a carefree bunny rabbit again and i feel like a new woman okay this dude the flowers are blooming the sun is out life is great and i'm not afraid of coronavirus jacqueline delete this episode this is embarrassing for you okay this is a are you four years old are you fucking four years old so crossing shit off suez canal not coronavirus

um fuck okay delete it jacqueline i need to take i need to take a break jimmy come here I don't edit the podcast you're gonna have to deal with me right now trying to collect myself and fucking get it together okay should I open the window I mean I don't want people to hear me I feel like my neighbors can already hear through the fucking walls but I need like I need like fresh air okay I'm gonna drink more water okay cough you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna put the coffee behind me dude I've had eight shots oh my god okay holy shit I forgot okay I woke up and I had I pulled two times two so I pulled wait one two four wait four or six wait four shots of espresso and then I walked I talked to my mom on

the phone for like two hours and then I fucking uh made four more eight total okay so we're there we're fucking there I put the coffee on the counter this is my little intermission with myself let's get back to my favorites so okay um my next favorite of March sound like fucking Dixie D'Amelio have you guys seen those uh TikToks of people mocking her like Dixie D'Amelio's voice and her personality type it's it's so on point I don't know she's a very unique cat and uh, anyways. So my next favorite, that's fucked up to make fun of someone. I'm not making fun of her. It's just like, you know, uh, what am I fucking talking about? Okay. My next favorite of March is steak, mushrooms, and baby carrots. Uh, I have a throat bubble. Can you hear it? I

have a throat bubble. I don't want to get rid of it. So, okay, it's going away. My favorite of March food wise is like steak. I've been making steak once a week for myself and it's so good. I make it in my cast iron, just like Gordon Ramsay taught me. I put the rosemary and the garlic and the butter and I baste it. So fucking crusty and so beautifully cooked inside. Just go look at my Instagram. I've posted the pictures of it. And that is changing my life. Like there's something about steak, like having it. Okay. Cause normally I'm like a seafood bitch. I'm a chicken bitch. I'm a, I shouldn't say bitch. I'm a ground Turkey chick, you know, eggs, egg whites, like salmon, fucking shrimp, you know, tuna cans. You guys know my love of tuna.

but the red meat has been out of the chat for a little bit too long and I missed it and I've been making steak for myself once a week and I'm I'm I am I want to do the carnivore diet like I am I'm like wait I see because I have I have like a whole pack from Costco in my free freezer uh there's like three left in it and I'm like wait I want this every day I want this to be breakfast lunch and dinner it's so good like steak is so good with salt and pepper just eat you don't even eat a lot of seasoning. Oh my God. So that's been a favorite, uh, mushrooms. I've been cooking down a bunch of mushrooms for myself, like for meal prep. You know, I, I, uh, you know, like you all do it too. Fucking Jesus. Uh,

kumbaya my lord kumbaya kumbaya my lord kumbaya okay that actually calmed me down I'm sure many of you out there meal prep each week. Okay. So with that being said, I have been loving cooking mushrooms. I, I, I, uh, put them in a pan, a dry pan. I cook them down with the, let them sweat really good. I saute them up and I fucking season them up and I make them kind of umami with some coconut amino aminos. And I put them in a container and I store them in my fridge and they kind of go with everything go on salads go on the side with my steak you know so that's been a favorite this month then I also mentioned baby carrots as a favorite because um not only

have they been helping my puppy during his you just made a noise Jimmy are you okay yeah I can't tell if that was a fart or a bark that kind of sound like both um anyways the baby carrots are helping him with his teething and then I'd love them as a snack and I don't know I've been eating a lot of baby carrots this month and I thought I'd mention it and okay so moving on I feel like we're gonna normalize the energy's gonna normalize right now and it's gonna get back to a tolerable level of uh okay my next favorite i'm watching sailboats right now it's sunny out my puppy's eating his he's finishing his kibble i i i drank eight shots of espresso and i'm having a great day let's get to my next favorite

so i've been telling you guys i've been doing yoga um every day since like november okay it's like my shit and I got a I got a diffuser or excuse me not a diffuser I wrote the wrong thing a humidifier cross that off rewrite that even though no one's gonna ever see this but I'm OCD humidifier okay uh I got a humidifier for my room that I do yoga in and it's changed the game I basically have a hot yoga studio in my apartment now because that bitch turns up the temperature somehow I feel like it makes the air have heavy it makes me hotter quicker and so by like 20 minutes into my class I'm fully drenched and I'm like my yoga pants are fully soaked and my sports bra and my hair and my face is drenched drenched and I've missed because of the pandemic and these

unprecedented times that we're in I've been missing the sauna and anyways so now I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds I'm getting my workout and I'm getting a sauna session while I do yoga so there's a favorite I get it I got it on Amazon it's from Levoit L-E-V-O-I-T I also use their um HEPA filter in my room at the same time so I have the diffuser going excuse me the humidifier going and then I have the uh shit the air purifier at the same time it's beautiful I have a star galaxy projector on my ceiling I have a salt lamp I like candles it's I am high on fucking life because of my new yoga setup and it's great so there's a there's a favorite and then I'll piggyback that with my favorite yoga instructor Travis Elliott check him out on

YouTube he's the best I do all of his classes I can't like I'll start watching another or I'll try to take a class from another person. And I'm like, it's not his voice. It's not him. I, I like don't, no one else resonates with me when they talk and they coach a yoga class or teach one. So I, I am, I'm obsessed with him. I feel like he's, uh, like the perfect balance of like, he doesn't use too much fluffy, like spiritually yoga-y shit when he talks. It's like, I don't know anyways check them out Travis Elliott on YouTube and then I also have a note here my favorite yoga poses extended side angle for the month of March extended side angle side angle pose is my favorite fuck why did I say it weird uh I drank water uh extended side angle is

where you how do i explain this i don't know you're on your your fucking uh it's like you're in a warrior you go to a warrior two so front toes pointed straight back foot's flat like they're perpendicular arms spread out and then you like rest your right fucking elbow on your knee but i i have long arms and i and i need a bigger stretch so i touch the ground with my right arm and then I take my left arm and I stretch it towards the wall and it feels amazing that's my favorite pose okay next favorite um honestly I'm just gonna add this because it was recent I called my mom or I've been talking to her recently we've been having the great greatest phone calls of our mother-daughter relationship I feel like ever and so my mom is a favorite

for the month of March um I don't know like I can't explain it like every conversation we've had is like fucking beautiful and amazing and we're just like having fun and we're gossiping we're shooting the shit we're like woo you know firing on firing on all cylinders and I'm just I'll be transparent it's not always the case like I sometimes my mom and I go through little tiffs when we have issues and shit and it's just like part of I feel like that's normal with parents and stuff but right now it's amazing it's perfect she's a favorite of the month of the month of March. So my next favorite is truck driver TikTok. I was watching this guy cook fajitas inside of his semi truck on TikTok. And I liked that video. And then now my algorithm is

like, it's serving truck driver TikToks all day long to me. And what a lifestyle, honestly, like if I had to rebrand or re pivot and re career myself by the change careers, uh, I would put truck driving as a, as a, one of the top options of something I'd be interested in doing next. Um, I dunno, there's something about these Tik TOKs that are making me enticed and interested in it and just go on Tik TOK. Uh, I feel like that's the first video. Like there's always that first video that sucks you in I feel like for everyone like when they got on cartel tiktok it was the boat video where the boat was trying to like uh hijack another boat or something it was like the cartel and if you like that video that's how you ended up on cartel

tiktok well the fajitas semi truck tiktok where the dudes make the fajitas inside I feel like is your is is the first one you gotta see and uh it'll take you to some fun places jimmy's scratching my shoulder and this hurts hey i know i know you probably want to go outside i know i was talking to mom for two hours and then now i'm fucking podcasting and i'm you probably have to pee and you just ate more and oh shit okay so truck driver tiktok is a favorite by the way i got a i got a word for you guys today that I learned from a follower or excuse me a yeah like a listener of the show um wait did I accidentally post a story on Instagram oh fuck oh okay um so the word I learned from someone that DM me is based this is a little intermission like hey let's learn

hey if you're a millennial out there and do you want to know what Gen Z is saying and you want to you want to speak their language and be in the know and be relevant and hip and cool. Let's do a word of the day. So it's based B-A-S-E-D. And he said that I had, he was like, let me read it. When someone speaks up about how he listens to the show and he was DMing me about something I said, he's like, when someone speaks up about how they feel about things, it makes for interesting content okay wait it was before that um he's like that stuff you said about following your own story a couple days ago was based af uh i thought he meant biased but i was like wait based and then i looked it up and based is like a good thing it's like um wait

a word used when you agree with something or when you want to recognize someone for being themselves i.e courageous and unique or not caring what others think so i'm based i guess because he said i was that was based my me like speaking my mind and i said follow your own story stop fucking keeping up with other people's lives on ig stories all day and following other people's lives all day like follow follow yourself follow follow your own story check in with your own life based is especially common in online political slang there's a definition so it's the opposite of cringe sometimes the opposite of biased which is what i believe i am i feel like i'm a cringy person and i'm fucking biased as hell all right word of the day is based let's get back to my

favorites jimmy's pulling my shoestrings welcome to motherhood bitch welcome to single motherhood I'm still taking dog, dog, dog, dad applications. Um, uh, wait, wait. Okay. Uh, I'm a single mom. He's pulling my shoestrings. Welcome to motherhood, bitch. What was I saying? Oh, I'm taking dog eight shots of espresso. I'm literally on my fucking chair bouncing and it actually bounces and I've never noticed that before wait a minute I'm 26 okay so my next favorite is um let me cross that off there's this girl I gotta tell you guys about her name's Caitlin and she's talented as shit I found her on TikTok and she's a favorite of this month her name is Caitlin she goes so her rap name because she's a rapper she's a white girl rapper kind of like I think

she considers herself like the first or like she's a basic white girl but she's a rapper it's she's literally like that to a t like the way she her aesthetic and her vibe is like white girl like basic shit and then okay i just said that and then she she raps like doja cat and like fucking she's like iggy and like she's so good so i want to play your shit i don't know i'm risking this i don't know if that's okay but i feel like she'd like this promotion right now follow her i'm telling you guys i'm gonna repost her um her instagram post today um so you guys can find her follow her follow her from at jesus christ follow caitlyn at caitlyn raps it's k-t-l-y-n and then raps on instagram she's also on tiktok she's huge on tiktok i think she almost has a

million a million followers and she's from San Diego and here's her shit it's so good let me like uh find the one that yeah she did a a rap or she did a thing on a Doja Cat and Sweetie's best friend song Saweetie here you go wait I think that's copyright rock i just want to secure the bag like a ziplock i don't got the stuff i'm the day bitch at the sandbox sleepy in doja i'm down the third wheel gotta be the first basic bit with a rocket deal what's the deal he's having millie on my video i got a good heart like i've been eating a lot of cheerios god damn my bestie with the road rage don't

piss me no okay so there's like a taste she has so many i just want to play another one cause she's so good. Um, she's a really unique sound. Like I can't, or I don't know. It just fucking, she's great. She's so talented. I wanted to shout her out because I've been obsessed with her music lately. And she just came out with her own, um, like another, uh single or whatever on um you can find it on spotify at uh caitlin raps it's called boppin b-o-p-p-i-n i just hope she blows up like i just i'm obsessed with her so and she's young and she's cool and she's anyways doing her own thing it feels like it okay slow down kumbaya no it seems like she's doing this completely like on her own like she's editing and she's mixing and she's

everything like her little setup is like a she's like in a neighborhood in like a normal neighborhood somewhere in San Diego and she's just like turned her little guest room in her parents house I don't know if she lives with her parents but into a studio it's like really cool so check her out at Caitlin wraps. Um, I think she's even been on the radio a few times here. So big favor. I could have, should have started the episode out with her before this turned into a fucking train wreck. Cause I know that just sounded crazy or I don't know. I'm doing an experiment today. It's like, how, how much can you keep it? How are you able, Jacqueline are you able to keep it together with this much espresso in your veins like

to be to be honest the answer is no we just we found that out we found that out within literally the first sentence of this podcast did I not just gush about coffee in the beginning and say oh my god it tastes so good it's so sweet I over sugared it and I over creamed it but it's so fucking good I can't stop drinking it and then I chugged it and then now it's I'm too far gone um this episode was a train wreck from the beginning I'm gonna own it I'm gonna post it anyway I don't edit the show I podcast every day and I have no other choice so we're almost there we're almost getting through this or we're almost done I'm not going to mention that coffee is a favorite of this month because that's obvious um but I do like I have been enjoying black iced Americanos

um I usually add a little like almond milk creamer in my coffee with my you know my with my iced coffee it's normally what I do it's rare that I put this fucking fake ass salted caramel I think it's like tabroni or some shit like that you see the syrup in Starbucks you see it in like every coffee shop it's rare that I put it in there but it was hiding in the back of my cupboard today and I saw it and I was like yes I'm feeling good it's sunny I want a sweet drink ah it's the springtime so but I've been loving black iced Americanos just like it's simple it's refreshing it's kind of like a coca-cola but like my brain okay i won't even discuss my brain because you know one out there i don't think there's any other brain that would get mine like why am i like

this why am i trying to explain explain a connection to you guys about between coca-cola and iced americanos like you won't get it only i will understand how i think about this but it makes sense in my brain and maybe you can try to like piece it together in your head right now and go like oh maybe i i see how like the color of coca-cola is the same as an iced black americano and both they're both cold they're both like refreshing okay so next favorite is um i like flowers so my next favorite literally this is a favorite flowers are a favorite of the month of March. I've been enjoying fresh flowers in my apartment. I'm a white roses person. There's something about what I like pink roses and white roses. Um, there's something about them. Uh,

girls out there buy yourself flowers, buy yourself flowers. It's you don't need no man. No, I won't say that. Actually. Uh, I'm not a, you don't need no man chick. I'm not a, and I'm not an independent boss babe chick uh I don't like these phrases and I don't like these ways of being as like a woman who's like trying to elevate herself and I'm like you can have it all I need a man okay who gives me flowers but I can also buy my own flowers you know what I mean like I still want the man I still want you know what I mean like yeah you know you know so uh flowers are a favorite this year, and not only my own flowers that I buy and put in my apartment to make it smell good and look fresh and cute, I've been loving just seeing the flowers bloom in the

flower beds around me in the neighborhood when I walk Jimmy, and when I'm up in, like, Del Mar, and there's all the, like, there's a cliff that I walk all the time, and it's got, like, these purple flowers on it and shit, so there's a favorite, just, like, the flowers of San Diego are popping off right now and it's beautiful. Okay. Wait, do I want to talk about women and like climbing the career ladder and being, uh, uh, okay. There's okay. I could go on a tangent and maybe I'll do Okay, let me know. Should I do a podcast about something controversial regarding how modern women now oftentimes essentially price themselves out of the market because they end up becoming successful before they get into a relationship that they want to lock down and they lead with their career and their job and their literally their resources

and their money and that's what they enter a relationship with after they've built all the all of the success and blah blah blah so anyways I could go on and on like I said I should do a podcast about that let me know um because I have some thoughts that are probably untraditional or not excuse me very probably no not untraditional very traditional and that kind of push back on that a little bit so anyways um dude um where am I at on this favorites list flowers buy yourself flowers but also it's okay if you want a man to buy your flowers that was that's what that's what I was saying okay so my next favorite is for the month of March is your mom's house with Christina and Tom Segura so Christina Pajinsky am I saying that right Pajinsky Tom Segura I've been listening

to them for years why am I fucking up their fucking why am I why am I messing up their names Anyways, I am obsessed with watching, watching their show on YouTube. They, um, their, their podcast called your mom's house covers a ton of ratchet, uh, tick tocks and just like the most trash they, they, they post tick tocks of the most like degenerate human beings in the United States, in the United States of America. and I'm saying it like it is because that's literally like, it's, it is what it is. Okay. That's what these people are. That's who they are. I'm saying who they are. And you know, if I told them that they're, if I told these people that they're degenerate human beings and they are, you know what, they would agree. I mean, they would agree. They understand who they are. Fuck. So anyways, I love watching your mom's house on YouTube because like, I don't know, it's very relaxing uh Tom and Christina are very calm when they talk and I like watching at the end

of the night um and I can literally like I was listening to them talk about like their old apartments and their own homes when they first were together and they were discussing like driveway anatomy and fucking or like like how their apartments were like set up and the driveways and other people parking and like they were talking about the most basic random shit and you're just mumbling on about it and I'm just I'm locked in I'm glued and uh anyways that's a favorite your mom's house I know maybe if you're new you don't know much about me and you're like okay cool you watch podcasts on YouTube but like I am I love I watch YouTube podcasts I listen to podcasts I don't really watch a lot of Netflix or movies or anything like I'd rather sit and look at

two people at a mic on a microphone it could be the most like boring basic bitch podcast studio and I'll still prefer watching that over like a cinematic masterpiece like some new Netflix movie you know like I just for whatever reason my brain likes to watch two people have a conversation and I'm I don't know so that's what I like to do at night but my favorite this month yeah your mom's I was my favorite podcast um I noticed I caught myself saying when I said if I was to tell these degenerate people that they're degenerates they would agree because they know they're degenerates okay I caught myself while I was saying that thinking about how like somehow like the body positive shit and the fat shaming shit like somehow entered my brain at the same time because

I realized that like you can't people okay so here why am I even going to go on this is like okay I'm going to go on a tangent during my March favorites episode when you tell someone they're fat they're unhealthy and they're out of shape and they come back with, um, I'm body positive. I love myself. I can be healthy at every size. You're wrong. I'm offended. How dare you? Blah, blah, blah. They don't like being told who they are. They are fat. They're unhealthy and they're out of shape. That's who they are. And so they come up with these excuses now that sound good and that they're, they're, they're positive and like, well, you know, I can be whoever I want to be and I can accept myself at any size

and you can't fat shame me. And you know, that's, I'm offended and you're canceled for doing that. It's like, no, people don't like to be told who they are because they don't like, they know who they are. They know deep down that's who they are. That's what they are and they don't want to hear it. And so, um, anyways, why am I talking about that? That's that, that was kind of rude. Um, am I projecting, am I fat shaming myself right now? Or do I feel fat right now? Not really. dude that yoga that diffuser excuse me that humidifier gets me snatched I'm telling you sweating like more I haven't sweat this much in a minute and I don't feel fat right now because like that is sucking the water out of my body in the best way and I've been eating healthy and I've

been taking care of my body so like if you told me I'm fat like um that's not who I am What am I saying, dude? Everything today, everything today, the, the justification for my behavior today is the eight shots of espresso. End of story. Um, people don't like to be told who they are when they don't like themselves. You know what I mean? They don't, they don't want to hear it. That's why they're offended. Okay. So my next favorite, speaking of healthy is spa water I've been putting I need to get cucumbers really bad actually so I went to the grocery store and decided that because it's like 90 degrees here in San Diego and it's sunny out it's hot and I'm just like the spring is here I want to start drinking spa water I want to have

I want to have like citrus mint infused water in my fridge at all times so anyways I picked up some mint some oranges and some lemons and limes like a bunch of citrus I forgot cucumbers but that's been a favorite because I feel like there's something so high class about drinking I just feel elevated I feel good I feel rich even though like you know I'm not like in a mansion in Beverly Hills or any you know like I'm I feel like a real housewife and the next step of this. I need to get a wine glass because there's something about drinking water out of a wine glass that makes me feel like I have my life together. And I need to, you know what? Where's my Amazon cart? Amazon.com. Dude, I need wine glasses. I need new just for water. And no, I'm not doing

the mason jar or fucking wine glasses. That's, that's ratchet. I'm doing wine glass. I need thin glass thin stem I actually I'm due for a new set I've broken so many so I need to pick up some new shit here it's weird how like I don't even consider when I need something I never go oh I should go to home goods oh I should go to Macy's or I should go to Nordstrom or I should go to Home Depot I should no I just think oh I need something I'm on amazon.com like that's my brain now and I know people have their opinions about Amazon it's taking over the world it's all fucked up and shit but like look I love it I love it it's so convenient saves me time the more time I'm at home and not in Home Depot the more time I'm not I'm with my the more time I'm with my

infant child my four-month-old puppy and I'm a full-time mom full-time single mom still taking dog, dog, dog, dog, fucking shit. Dog diapacations. Fuck. Foaming. You hear that? I'm foaming at the mouth. That's how much fucking caffeine. That's the, oh shit. I just dumped water on my cord. Shit. Foaming at the mouth. That's how caffeinated I am. Dude, let's be honest. It's a cocaine. Caffeine is liquid cocaine, right? It's, it's, it is, it is, it's a drug. It's a drug and I overdosed and this is what's happening. So anyways, like the more time I'm at home and not in stores buying like one or two things from Home Depot, the more time I'm with my puppy and like available for him as a mom. So there you go. Spa water, diffuse your water, feel rich, feel bougie, feel

better, feel healthy, feel bright, feel springy. It's the best. Like there's little moments in life and you and I have both been in them before where you're on vacation and you're at a resort and you know you're you're walking around it just smells really nice there's something being pumped in the in the hotel that's like super fresh and it just smells luxe and beautiful and then you know maybe you go and decide to treat yourself at the spa and then you walk in there and there's like just smells like eucalyptus and lavender and mint and like this beautiful scent is perfuming everything and then there's like the little water station and then you full of citrus and shit and you go up to that and you drink it and so it's so cold and you're in Vegas and it's it's 110 degrees

out and you're in this cool spa drinking this water and everything is beautiful and good and then you go back to your hotel room and maybe you brought the water with you. Why am I talking about water? Jesus Christ. And you just had the most amazing massage and you're all pampered and everything. You go back to the hotel and you get into the big, fluffy, heavy blankets and sheets and everything. And it's got the air conditioning on and the drapes are kind of shut. You're going to take a nap in your heavy bathrobe and you're, oh, I'm trying to recreate that moment that lifestyle that vibe in my own fucking apartment and that is step one step one well I did step one um actually it was about a year ago I got a Turkish

cotton or whatever heavy bathrobe like a white one like a hotel that was a big step and then now I'm doing spa water and anyways so that's a favorite shit I don't want to talk about my other favorite like sunscreen stupid I actually need I need new retinol now that I'm on Amazon I'm gonna type in retinol to get start wearing if you're not wearing sunscreen I don't care if you're a man a woman a child a teenager uh whatever whoever you are out there sunscreen is the easiest step you can do to like help your skin from or like help delay the aging process and I know like I'm pro look your age don't do all the face stuff and like you know take care of your skin and just embrace your natural beauty like I'm that's my campaign I'm fucking running right now

I've been mentioning on the podcast over time but I am yeah part of taking care of your skin and all that and like looking naturally beautiful is maintaining your you know like trying to like prevent wrinkles and like wear your sunscreen and use retinol and shit. Okay. I'm going to delete this episode. Here's another like self-care topic category, uh, favorite of the month of March, uh, Crest White Strips. I'm on a Crest White Strips journey. I do this twice a year and I, Amazon delivered two packs instead of one. So I think I have like 60 right now. I don't know. I like way too many. And so anyways, I've been, I've been whitening my teeth every day. And I guess Crest White Strips are a favorite because like, look, there is not a single charcoal, charcoal,

charcoal, all natural, vegan, non-GMO, chemical free, paraben free method of whitening that can outdo Crest White Strips. I'm telling you, like, I don't give a fuck. I don't care what's in this. It works. I've been using them since high school when people are like, oh my God, your teeth are so white it's because of Crest white strips you know I can obviously go and get them professionally whitened and shit but that's an appointment I have to make that's a lot of money I think I don't know actually I've never done I don't know how much it is but I don't want to spend like six thousand dollars honestly how much is getting your teeth whitened it's probably like 200 bucks that might be worth it just like a one and done appointment and then you don't have to use 60

white strips to get the same effect um I'm fanning them like a accordion or like a what's it called is that what it's called an accordion dude that's one of my favorite instruments we have one at home at my mom's house and it's like tucked in this little cabinet where there's random like office supplies and old books and my old like macbooks and shit just like in this cabinet and there's an accordion in there and dude why aren't the rappers using accordions in their music like that should be or banjos like dude that is how you stand out from the crowd now i feel like Lil Nas needs to start doing this like he's kind of the one doing his own he's like in his own category with his quirky shit I feel like he should start including banjos and fucking

accordions and it's like another weird instrument um maybe they do do I'm gonna google do rappers use accordions do rappers is this even a March favorites anymore oh my god I want to turn around and drink the rest of my coffee right now. Like, that's how I want it so bad. I can't even type accordions. Accordions, enter. More accordion hip hop. Hip hop 101, Reddit.

Oh, fuck yeah. Many have heard, okay, da-da-da. MF Doom Song accordion. Where's the accordion from? origin of the accordion you know and you're so caffeinated and cracked out you're tight i'm typing like i'm shooting bullets that's not the right analogy i'm typing like i'm uh what do you hit hard with your fingers fingerprints for the fbi no fucking i don't

know i'm like what am i doing that i'm like hitting my keys really hard origin of the accordion europe the accordion is one of the several of is one of several european inventions in the early 19th 19th century that use free reads driven by bellows okay vienna austria austria was it austria berlin the accordion's basic form is believed to have been invented in berlin 1822 too. Cool. We just learned some shit. I think that's it for my March favorites. Crest white strips. Oh, I was, I wrote no makeup because I haven't been wearing, I've been wearing, like, the most I wear is mascara, but I feel like my skin's really good right now because I haven't been wearing any makeup. And just sunscreen, mascara, lip gloss, or chapstick. I think I

finished. Oh, I was going to mention my favorite Instagram account to follow is Christian Walker, but um that's also a controversial topic but i noticed he he's like a conservative influencer type of account to follow that's kind of refreshing because i follow a lot of woke um celebrities you know so it helps balance it out when i hear his perspective because he talks on his stories every day he goes through the the starbucks drive-thru and he rants and does a little, like, update on the current administration, what's going on in the White House, and, you know, current events, and so I like his hot takes, because it helps balance out the other shit going on, and with, especially now, like, he's been, anyways, so just go check him out, Christian

Walker on Instagram, that's a March, March favorite, but anyways, the reason I'm, I wanted to mention him today is um lately I've been saying things on the show like I kind of feel like an outcast like I can't really relate to a lot of this the stuff going on in the world right now where like people are enraged and outraged and they're um they get behind all these movements that are supposed to like help you know people that are oppressed and like you know like I just have i just feel like an outcast because i look at it all as like this is all bullshit this isn't this is not helping this is help this is dividing this is making it worse this is unnecessary this is inflated and invented this is not actually what's happening in reality all of this dramatic

all these dramatic narratives and crazy ass stories are being told virtually but you go out in the real world and this is not actually what's realistically happening in my own observations in my own first person life experience and so I'm just like why are I don't understand um why people I just have a hard time relating to it and I have a hard time like I feel like a little outcast little you know a person in the corner here going what the fuck why can't why am I you know I don't know but anyways the reason I mentioned Christian Walker is because he I don't know if he makes merch but he was holding like a coffee tumbler cup that said you know how there's like the anti-social social club hoodies and shit it said anti-woke club on it and I was like oh

is that what I'm in is that what I should is that the the movement I should join or like is that kind of how I am like I'm anti-woke um because all I do all day long is get on the podcast and bitch about woke shit and I just like I don't know because I I literally don't understand it and I'm not trying to be like um I'm not I'm being honest like this isn't me being like uh I'm not inflating or exasperating my real raw thoughts like I legitimately do not okay it's not that i don't understand i see where people are coming from i always say that like i get why people how am i how do i think of this i just don't get how things scale to this they scale so big to the point where there's like fucking flames being thrown in buildings and

destruction and protests and rubber bullets and like literally all because of like a one-off event in like I'm just thinking of George Floyd there's one thing but like I don't think it got better I just feel like it's not it just nothing is better because of that uh that's my opinion but anyways um I just don't get how people are so sold and so convinced and so easily emotionally enraged and outraged and charged by shit that isn't real it's not reality it's not reality it's literally all this it's all uh inflated and constructed online and people are just like reposting reposting talking about all day long and it's like you go out in the world it's like look i got all flavors in my neighborhood i got all flavors

all around me all the time every time i'm in the grocery store every time i'm at the post office every time I'm walking down San Diego downtown and there's all walks of life walking around me and hey 99.9% of the time everyone's fucking getting along no one's shooting each other up no one's shanking each other no one's cussing each other out I don't see a Ku Klux Klan member walking around the streets lynching black people okay can I even say that like it's not it's not reality okay there's a but you go on the internet now I'm on a tangent you go on the internet and it's as if there's a fucking massacre in the streets happening and there's oh man it's just not the case so that's why i have a hard time i have a hard time getting my brain really like uh

ups it doesn't get up it doesn't get super um upset i feel bad when one-off events happen and terrible things happen to uh people out there in the world like it's awful it's terrible but not to the point where I'm like that's my that's how I view uh I don't extrapolate that that doesn't become my view of the whole of society okay I'm an independent thinker I'm an independent thinker I got my own opinions and you know what fucking I guess anyways the last favorite was Christian Walker and he had the tumblr that said anti-woke club and I thought maybe that's maybe that's kind of

my movement or what I'm maybe I can find friends in that club even though I don't like division I don't like shit like that I want to meet people halfway I want to have conversations with people I disagree with I want to do all that but like I'm like where are the people that think like I think or just like

that I can relate to a little bit I feel like a little outcast and it's fucking annoying so hold on I gotta get one more sip in before the podcast ends just to like sum up this episode with uh how it started dude I love oh my god it's so good I think I need to go on a run I think I need to go on a run I have to pee really bad um jimmy dude he puts his legs straight up against the the wall like he's a little like he'll lay on his back and then he puts

so fucking cute he like lays straight on his back with his paws like little t-rex arms like on on his side and then his two legs straight up the fucking wall wall and he relaxes like that and he takes naps like that and you know anyways uh he's doing that right now it's cute as shit uh I gotta go on a run I gotta get I gotta burn off some energy um I hope you guys have a great day I hope your I hope your week's going well um you know if you're not if it's not going well if you're if you're having a hard time um what's my advice I don't want to tell you what to do honestly I'm all about listen to your own intuition you know what to do revert back like whenever you're going through it this is my like personal experience this is what I fucking do

whenever I'm having a shitty time a shitty day shitty week I'm like okay what's worked in the past for me what do what do I do when I'm in a rut like what do I what are the positive things uh from the past what would I do in the past to get to get me out of this that's what I revert back to. And that's what I do. So I could sit here and tell you all the advice in the world and what I think you should do. But honestly, I'm not going to tell you because my other social justice movement, excuse me, the club I'm starting or the fucking movement I'm moving is called follow yourself, listen to yourself, listen to your intuition, stop looking on the internet for answers stop keeping up with other people's lifestyles and what they're doing for answers

because it's distracting you from your own it's sucking you out of your own reality in your own present moment and you don't even know what you like you don't even know which work what works for you you're just copycatting what works for other people and so look jacqueline decided the fucking morning lemon water okay and the the matcha okay morning lemon water the matcha uh the meditation sitting in silence isn't for me okay it's not for me works for other people but I was sucking I was drinking that kool-aid I was doing it for so long and I'm like I think matcha tastes like shit tastes like horse hay the morning lemon water is an extra step in my morning that takes time that's a bunch of bullshit I don't notice anything different I don't feel

better it's just actually disgusting and tastes like shit as well and I would rather literally sit and meditate uh what's my meditation practice fucking talking on a podcast I guess I'm seeing all my thoughts I'm talking them out I'm it's just like this fucking free-flowing thing I do here I feel like this is meditation uh yoga I do yoga every day there you go for all the people out there that tell me I should meditate I fucking do yoga okay I deep breathe for an hour to two hours I do yoga sometimes for two hours a day and um anyways I don't overthink shit anymore I don't feel like I need to meditate I'm not like in my head like oh my god I need to clear my thoughts blah blah blah like I just have fun dude if your goal after 2020 isn't to have fun for for the rest

of your life and enjoy your life if that's not your life goal that's not like what you're trying to do every day like what's happening what are you doing that's my that's my biggest uh 20 uh lesson out of 2020 all I want to do is enjoy my life and have fun and be excited and drink coffee and play with my puppy and fucking eat good food and hang out with people and party and go to Vegas and go to the spa and drink spa water and, um, jump in the ocean. And dude, it's, it's got one life. Okay. So you're a little pep talk. If you've been having a hard week, get, get inspired right now. Get inspired with me right now. Stop. Your thoughts aren't real. It's just all bullshit. it's all made make believe it's not anyway anyways I'm blessed bitch I'm blessed I'm

grateful I don't know how I got this way I feel like I'm living my dream I feel like I'm I feel like this I I figured I figured it out I just I fucking figured it out and that's cool so there I'm gonna end the I'm gonna end the episode with one more sip of coffee because it's so fucking good I swore a lot today I screamed a lot today I breathed hard I sang songs I uh I stopped and started my sentences and I got all confused and discombobulated that all happened today you know what here's what I learned this is the learning lesson from the episode. Actually, wait, why do I have to think about this a little bit? Wait. I learned about

myself today that I can keep my shit together with eight shots of espresso and make a cohesive episode, a podcast episode. I did it. I'm done. It's over. I'm going to post it. I'm not going to do any edits and I'm going to share this with the public and say, fuck it because I have a fun life and I want to share it with other people and inspire them. And I don't know. Okay. So there you go. That's it. Episode 208 is done. Hit that subscribe button. I'll be here tomorrow. I'm here seven days a week. I won't let you down. If you need a friend in your ear, if you need someone to talk to or listen to every day, I'll be there for you. Hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash TJMS to support the show. This is my

passion. This is my dream podcasting is. So it'd mean a lot if you went over there and checked it out. Um, it's my subscription service. You get access to my behind the scenes content that doesn't make Instagram. It doesn't go anywhere else on the internet. And with that, you also get shout out every Friday in my show credits and you get phone calls from me. I'm going to be doing live live zoom hangouts um you become one of my favorite people of all time um yeah check it out patreon.com slash oh jesus patreon patreon.com slash tjms love you guys lots hope you had a great day and I will talk to you tomorrow bye