The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 21- We Need To Talk

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

It's Thick Thursday! I feel so cozy today so I talked about Fall, my insecurities, my dessert opinions and what I'm grateful for. Hope you're having a great day!! :)

Episode 21. Welcome back to the podcast. Happy Thursday. How are you doing? Jacqueline's just waking up and this is going to be a chill episode. I just, I'm not feeling like trying hard today. I'll be honest. I'm not feeling like trying hard. I just woke up, made my coffee. I'm feeling really cozy today. I'm feeling really fall. I have my little fuzzy socks on. I lit a candle. This candle is like an apple spice candle. I don't know. So we're gonna just like we're gonna hang out together and I'm gonna go over what I did over the last day my 24-hour update of course I'm gonna talk about instead of a coffee fact I want to tell you guys the coffee machine I've been looking at um I have this issue or not I don't know if this is an issue

just the way I am where I will decide I want something like you know this about the cat I keep talking about adopting a kitten I've been looking at a new couch I'm looking at a coffee machine what else I've been looking at a car I decide I want something and then I will spend a year and a half trying to find the perfect one and I will just browse forever on the internet until I find it but I'm pretty sure I narrowed down the espresso machine I want because I don't have you guys know this I do my instant coffee and I don't I do a french press if I want hot coffee but I don't know like I'm not into hot coffee anymore I think I'm done with it I think I liked the idea of making a French press every morning and I was drinking that I look back at my old

YouTube vlogs oh by the way subscribe to my YouTube channel for the YouTube podcast starting October 1st next Thursday a week from today uh anyways but I look back at my old YouTube vlogs and I was drinking French press like every day earlier in the quarantine and I just I'm disgusted by that I'm just like what the I'm a nice coffee girl I love my iced coffee let's do a first sip of the podcast you guys love it when I do this okay wow so good um yeah this is a chill episode honestly I'm feeling like I'm just in my I'm coming in my I'm getting in the groove of this where I don't really need to overly prepare and write down a thousand notes anyways instead of the coffee fact I want to talk about the coffee machine I want so I'm on Amazon we're hanging out

what's up okay so there's so many options right I've been looking at Nespresso's I've been looking at DeLonghi's is that what they're called DeLonghi espresso machines Mr. Coffee I used to have one of those dog shit not a good not a good option it it doesn't it's just not it's not good um I've been looking at Meals M-I-E-L-E which is like the ones you see in like really fancy houses with they're installed in the like if you go into a kitchen in a really really nice house they're usually the meal I think it's meal I think I'm saying that right is installed in the wall and they have they have ones that like you can just set on your counter but I've been looking at those but the one I think I'm gonna get this is the coffee fact for today the coffee fact today is

what Jack what Jacqueline wants from Santa Claus this is her espresso machine she really wants probably gonna buy it for myself I don't actually mean Santa Claus is a it's a Braville espresso machine because it seems like the best one on all of the reviews I've looked at everyone talks highly of this one because it's got I feel like it has to do with I don't know like the pressure it can produce on the espresso when it when it pulls when you pull the shot I don't know so I really want one of these there's so many options it's like the Breville Barista Express they're expensive I mean they're not cheap but they're they're like the Rolls Royce I feel like of at-home espresso machines. The Breville Barista Pro, the Express. What's the other one?

Oh, this one. Barista Touch Espresso. Oh, it's a touchscreen. I don't know. I just like the idea of pulling espresso shots in the morning and having a little coffee stand. And maybe I'll do that on the video podcast. I'll have like, I'll just have an espresso machine next to me. And then part of the podcast is me making my coffee on the thing. I don't know. I thought about this you know how I'm doing a daily vlog or excuse me a daily podcast it's like it's like I don't know this isn't really groundbreaking I feel like people do podcasting all the time and it's not like I'm this isn't like crazy that I'm doing a podcast every day but I feel like it's not common you know what I mean and I'm turning this into a

daily audio vlog, basically, which is kind of cool. I don't know, am I, am I, like, is this going to be a trend because I'm doing it? I don't know. I got good, I mean, last night on my live stream, that's part of my 24-hour update, someone said, I'll just say your name, Ozzy, you're, like, an OG listener. You said the daily, the daily, the daily episode thing works, like, it's a good, that's a great idea, and it never gets redundant, it's, like, always exciting to tune in, and I don't know, I always say, we're just on a phone call, I'm calling you up every day, I'm checking in, this is my self-mastery course, I'm trying, it's like my verbal morning pages, so maybe that's the trend I start, like, a lot of people promote doing morning pages and journaling, and I'm saying,

okay, yeah, do that, but also talk it out, so anyways, let's talk about the last 24 hours, um that coffee fact was my espresso machine I want does anyone out there have a an espresso machine they love I used to have okay I'm gonna go into my 24-hour update but back to the coffee thing I used to have I used to have an espresso but I feel like they're I feel like they're overhyped I'm just gonna say it I don't know what it is like they're not it's the little pods are convenient but I'd like to grind my own beans and like pull an espresso shot do it the old fashion way and anyways I've been all over so I go on offer up which is one of my favorite apps to buy like it's like a craigslist app type of thing but I have so many searches and every day it's

like what I was saying earlier in the beginning of the podcast I decide I want something and then I will look it up and try to find the perfect option forever I've been looking at a new couch since the beginning of quarantine when I decided I need a bigger couch. I've been looking at an espresso machine every, literally it's my daily, it's like a daily routine. I check my offer up app and I don't know, it's, it's a problem. I just need to buy, I just need to outright just decide and buy something instead of being wishy-washy. But, um, anyways, so let's talk about my last 24 hours um okay so yesterday oh my god I had the best breakfast I put so many frozen raspberries in my oatmeal I'm addicted I feel like raspberries are my favorite fruit I decided um but I had yeah

I made breakfast after the podcast yesterday I was feeling so good every day I podcast is a great day so I've had 21 great days in a row and that's that's beautiful that's what I'm doing this for honestly it's keeping me going it's great um so I had breakfast I worked I um let's see what else I keep taking these little power naps in the afternoon which is great um did I clean did I do anything around the house I'm like looking around I'm like trying to find like something I could tell you I did oh I like uh kept uh I work on my podcast ideas I have like a document I've been typing on and I don't know like cruising internet of course chilled went and worked out so I don't want to turn this into like oh Jacqueline's a fitness guru podcast but

to be honest I want to I want to incorporate it I want it to be part of my brand like I'm a I'm a fitness chick because to be honest like I I it's my it's my love I love working out I love lifting weights I love feeling awesome and I love the gym environment and I think in the past I was always like, I'm just so, I feel like it's oversaturated. I don't want to be another person that comes on the internet, tells people I work out, but I don't know, like right now. Okay. Speaking of work it out guys, here's our first people watching session of the day. We got man bun neighbor. Dude, I want to take a paparazzi pic and post it on Instagram for you guys. I'm going to do this right now. Live. He's turning, he's turned around. It's going to be blurry. Um, oh

my God, I'm doing, I'm going to do a video. You guys are going to love this. I know people that listen every day are like, yeah, you can see them working out. So man, but neighbor, I did like a six second video. So man, but neighbor's working out his couple right now. They're doing a dumbbell squats right now. Oh, is that a kettlebell? They got kettlebells today. They ran hills. Um, they're getting after it. You know, the, the day's just getting started. The sun's coming out. I started really early this morning. Um, so yeah, I haven't seen him in like three days. This is the, yeah, last couple days I mentioned I haven't seen me I'm a neighbor so anyways so yeah worked out last night I had the best it was probably my best workout since the gyms reopened and I did my

leg glute session like I always do I always tell you guys I do I focus on um the movement patterns of like squatting hinging thrusting it's like uh lunging and abduction yeah I guess that's what I do. Um, but I had, I just had a great workout and then I came home and I live streamed, made dinner on my live last night and I was so pissed off. You guys watched me. I was so frustrated. I was like the only protein I have. Cause I'd frozen. Well, I did, I didn't tell you this. I had frozen meat in the freezer. That's what it would be. Obviously frozen meat in the freezer. But I came home. I was like, shit, I don't have any protein options outside of egg whites. I was like, shit. So I just made like egg whites and broccoli and it was really, it was actually really good.

and I talked to you on live for a long time. And, um, I don't know, it's kind of sad, honestly, like, oh, I'm making dinner on a live stream with strangers on the internet, but it helped me get tired. Cause like every time I come home after a workout at night, cause I work out around like six or like, I don't know, like I get home around eight. Right. I'm so excited. I'm so happy. I'm so wound up. I'm like, I just want to like, keep going. I could stay up all night. So when I do a live stream it tires me out and I get you guys talk to me and we you know I we talk about the podcast we talk about what you guys are doing I I don't know I just really like it so I don't know I used to be like self-conscious about getting on the live stream with like two people but now I'm

like yo I just got tired and I it tires me out because I have a motor mouth I just talk forever dude should I make this the David okay I saw did anyone else see David Goggins uh recent post of his feet uh his wife had like she posted a picture of his feet that are like destroyed from all the running and all the stuff he does um and she posted like his routine every day but I was thinking about it and like I'm like wait am I the David Goggins of podcasting I'm doing this fucking seven days a week. And then if I went, if I, you know, I feel like in order for me to be the, to like go David, David Goggins on all of your asses, I would be fucking podcasting for six hours a day, seven days a week. That's the day. That would be me being

the David Goggins podcasting. It's not that, I mean, I'm not even in that category. I can't even compare myself, but you get the idea. Anyways, dude, I just enjoy this. I'm so happy to be here. I'm just like, wow, I keep punching myself. Episode 21. Um, anyways, what else did I do yesterday? What did I watch last night? Did I watch anything on TV? Not really. Basically just cruise the internet. And then I went to bed. Um, yeah, it was a chill night. I I'm just like, okay, boring, same shit, different day. Really? I mean, um, I like my life though. I like simple things I like my morning coffee I like sunshine I like people watching I like working out I like chilling I like what I like and I stick to it you know what I mean I think I've talked about this

in the past but like other people show off what they do and it makes you go like oh well maybe I should be doing that too or like that's how you have a fun life but I think about it I'm like I like the most basic shit it genuinely makes me happy I'm like easy I have like the most my brain it's it's like I don't need to go skydiving I don't need to go clubbing every weekend I don't need to go on road trips I don't need to go travel like I just like my life it's so basic and I don't it's like there's not a lot of frills with what I do but um yeah and I just want a podcast. So that's what I'm doing. Do what you like to do and don't waver. You know what I mean? Just stick to it. Cause I talked a few episodes ago. I was like, look, there's a lot

of situations I'm in with like social socializing and doing fun activities with people, quote unquote fun. And I'm there the whole time. Like this is boring as fuck. I want to go home. I don't want to be here. Like, I don't actually have fun doing things. Most people think are fun. I like, don't know what it is it's like I'm I I feel like I'm I don't know oh I have something to say this is like segue I was just realizing that like um a couple things I want to talk about like guys and dating and stuff um I've had like a few situations where guys will be like you just like overthink the fuck out of everything you're just like you like think about something you switch and you think they switch and it's like you're constantly in this tornado of thoughts and I don't know how

to feel about that and I feel like I'm insecure about that because like this is annoying because okay first of all fuck them like it we never it obviously never worked out with anyone who's told me that but like I just can't wait for the day where someone is like I get you like I understand you just like to think you like to stew you like to get creative with your thoughts and you don't just take things as is you got to ask questions you got to dig deeper so I don't know I'm like really looking forward to that but last night on the live I was talking about how I don't like is this okay I was like is this podcast like one giant ass turn off you know what I mean I'm like I feel so I'm like self-conscious a little bit if there's a guy

out there who you know let's just say like he's been following my he's following me online for a few years or whatever like a year I don't even know someone from like a dating profile that follows my Instagram and whatever and then all of a sudden they start listening to my podcast and I'm like oh oh fuck okay um that's a little too much or whatever you know I'm like insecure about the fact that or it's self I'm like I don't want any guy interested in me listening to my fucking podcast. And that's stupid because this is who I am. Like, obviously this is the best way to get to know me, but I'm just like, I don't know. I feel like I'm too much. I'm too like crazy and like overthinking and it's kind of frustrating. But if you don't like me, if that's the thing,

that's stupid because I should want them to listen. I should want them to, because if they don't fuck with this, then they're out. You know what I mean? I'm done. Like they're not even an option um because in the past I would like dumb down myself and kind of be a little more like ditzy and like not as bold and obnoxious at first and then I feel like as soon as that comes out after like a few dates they're like oh fuck I have to be the funny one I can't let her be the funny one she's too much and I want to be the entertainer in this relationship and she's I just can't compete so they shut down and they're like I'm out I need a little I need someone a little less crazy I don't I'm I don't know I'm not crazy but you know what I mean I'm an overthinker I just

overthought the fuck out of that and I'm proud of that you know that's who I am let's have some coffee anyways what else did I do so yeah live stream went to bed slept great um today we're gonna do I said this is the chill hangout session so and I'm feeling cozy so I'm like you know what let's just do a fall buzzfeed quiz fuck it you know what I mean like let's just get in our feels about fall um I like going on the internet and like the internet I like going on the world wide web and um cracking my back and like finding shit to talk about while I'm podcasting so this buzzfeed quiz is how controversial controversial controversial are your autumn or fall opinions so I mean let's just start off with this pumpkin spice latte question question

number one how do you feel about pumpkin spice lattes they're delicious or they're gross well obviously they're delicious it's actually split down the middle most people it's 50 50 some people say they're gross or half say they're gross half say they're delicious interesting how about chunky sweaters they're so cozy they're uncomfortable i'm in the uncomfortable side i don't really love sweaters 13 are on my side they don't think they're comfortable tell us the truth about your hocus pocus opinions that's the witch movie it's my favorite movie ever i don't see the appeal they don't really provide enough there needs to be like six multiple choice questions like this seems to not have this is giving me two answers and I'm like not on either side here

it's either your favorite movie ever you don't see the appeal I'm neutral like it's not my favorite movie ever so I can't say that but I do like it so I have to say I don't I guess I don't see the appeal I'll just pretend like it's my favorite movie ever and see what happens 50 50 yeah people this is a stupid quiz are we bored whatever do you eat pumpkin pie yes it's yummy or nope it's nasty of course I eat pumpkin pie I just want to see what the results of this quiz are honestly where do you stand on fall foliage so like leaves and shit it's beautiful it's nothing special of course it's beautiful this is a stupid quiz and pumpkin scent and candles of course they're lovely no they're too strong who would say they're too strong I love I love like right now I have my

little candle going. I got my coffee. I put my little pumpkin syrup in it today. Feeling so cozy in fall. I have my fuzzy socks on. It's kind of like, it's not cold outside, but when I, the first thing I do, let me, let me finish this quiz. I'll tell you about my fall routine, my fall morning routine. Well, all I wanted to say is that before I podcast, I open all my windows and there's always like a cool morning breeze that comes in and I'm obsessed with that. And then I lock everything up for the podcast so that you know it's quiet no one can hear me uh and obviously better it's like it's more soundproof that way if I don't have fucking man bun neighbor screaming at his workout people outside you could one of you guys could hear that on the podcast one two three four six

more okay um do you rock flannel shirts yes I own at least five or no they're not my style well I don't own at least five I have like two so but I do rock them in fact I posted yesterday on my Instagram story a throwback of me in a huge flannel which I'm so pissed I don't know why I got rid of that it was the best flannel I've ever had I posted like throwbacks like me in college like football games like party um I like had white boots on to my knees and like this big green flannel and I like I'm pissed I got rid of it because flannel flannel shirts are like once you find it's hard there's like a spectrum no when you find a good one like hold on to it for life because some of them are they're not all the same they're not all the same I definitely got it at a

thrift store I always get my flannels at a thrift store because they're usually like worn in a good way that makes sense if you go to like if you go to a store and buy one brand new I don't know they're just too nice um okay so next question how do you feel about pumpkin patches they're so fun I avoid them at all costs of course they're so fun this is a stupid quiz we're gonna finish it though we're almost there stepping on crunchy leaves yes or no of course uh yes I haven't done that in a while we don't even get that opportunity here crunching on leaves in San Diego like I don't know they'll fall like the leaves will fall but it's not that dramatic do you enjoy celebrating halloween there's a little jack-o'-lantern picture here it's my

favorite holiday no it's way too scary dude is this quiz literally this quiz is for like six-year-olds in first grade like this is stupid i just said no it's way too scary because it's not my favorite holiday i love christmas can't wait for christmas christmas podcast series coming soon can't wait Christmas podcast series is gonna be the shit do you have spooky movie marathons I actually do so I usually at one point or in October I just put on the Netflix I like all of them I just watch passively of course while I'm scrolling on my phone what are your candy Corn opinions. Love it. Thank you. Next. I love candy corn. I fuck with candy corn. Okay. So it doesn't give me like a final result. So that was a really big waste of time,

but you know what? We're just hanging out. Let's talk about what other, um, things I was looking up on the internet for the podcast today. Um, oh yeah. My Breville coffee machine really want that. I just think, I don't know. Like there's something about having your own espresso machine you know what it is I think this is what it is I grew up so I used to love making coffee for my mom before work like in the morning I'd get ready for school and I'd like we had this little espresso machine and I remember I was obsessed with making an espresso for her and I just met I feel like that's why I want one again everything about my life lately is like trying to relive the past or like trying to revive the past um I don't know I'm really

you know what it is it's weird I'm like weirdly grateful or I'm I'm recalling things from the past and I'm just feeling so grateful for those experiences and those like things I used to own like I yesterday talked about wearing like etnies in middle school like etnie shoes and like I just want a pair of Etnies again. And I want a Hollister zip up, a pink Hollister zip up. And I don't know. I think that's, it's just something about me. And I don't know if it's like, I'm really sentimental and mushy about the past, but it's probably also because I'm like, Oh, I live alone. My whole family's in Washington. I miss them. I miss like the good old days, but yeah, I think an espresso machine is, I don't know. It's just like, I really want one.

and um I might just put it in the studio here and pull espresso shots on uh on video in fact I recorded I'm a little scared right now this is just like a behind the scenes uh update on the studio I am a little nervous because I've been practicing with my camera and making sure that it'll record for the whole like episode and it shut off again so I need to figure out like it's not the battery dying it's like it just the camera turns off so I don't know what to do about that um I don't know so that's like probably not interesting information but whatever um okay so let me go I always do this at one point in the podcast I go to my note here um oh and I was going to go on Instagram and read some DMs

but I wrote a note so one of the topics I want to talk about today are the things I'm good at and I don't know why I just thought of like talking about talking highly of myself and you know I talk about my insecurities a lot on here I talk about the things that I'm like embarrassed by like I did earlier about guys listening to the podcast that are interested in me I'm like so like I don't know like it's kind of weird to me I don't know so I talked about that already I've talked about a lot of that like kind of negative stuff about me in the past like what other insecurities have I talked about social stuff anyways so today I thought well why don't I talk about my strengths not my weaknesses you know what I mean let's capitalize

on that or let's I think it's a common thing people um people can easily come up with all the stuff they're bad at but it's really hard for them to come up with things they're really good at so first off I'm great at podcasting we already know this 21 episodes in 21 days fucking pro take a sip of coffee and feel confident dude it's liquid fucking courage that's what this is liquid courage for my caffeine every day so I think that I'm a great conversationalist I'm good at holding down a conversation with myself for an hour a day we already know that I'm great at that I'm great at like I don't know creative thinking is that a thing I think in the past like okay I want to tell you

guys a little story so you know how on Instagram I'll post a story with a witty caption or a picture with a witty caption or anything I do that's like I don't know it's like there's a it's kind of a there's a humorous flair to it I don't know how to explain it but for some reason my brain so this is something I think I'm good at my brain is able to take a picture of something or see something like people watching or whatever just observing a situation and then really quickly coming up with a funny idea about that and I don't know where that comes from I don't know what that is but I feel like I should tell you guys the history of like my writing and my like how I I don't know how to explain this like when I was first exposed

to like Twitter and funny tweets. I don't know. So back in like, I got Twitter, I think it was like 2009. I don't know. I was like one of the first, I think my number, cause it used to show you like what number you were, like the, like the user number you were on Twitter. And I think mine's like 20,000. I was like within the first 20,000 people to get Twitter, which is crazy, but I'm just so cool. Um, no, but I used to follow this list cause you, I don't know if the lists are still around but this guy curated a list of comedians or just funny people on Twitter and I followed that list and so when I scrolled on it it was just like witty phrase witty idea after another one after another one after another and I feel like because I check that every day for

years like I the list is gone now but I feel like that's kind of where I got my education on like writing a funny phrase, or, like, you know what I mean? Like, how words can really convey a funny message if you put them together appropriately, you know what I'm saying? So, anyways, I just feel like that's something I'm good at, and that's where I, that's kind of where it came from, just all those years scrolling Twitter, and these people are so weird. The ones that he curated, they're just, like, they're very interesting, odd people, and, uh, I don't know, so, yeah, maybe I have Twitter to thank for making me good at, or, like, helping me out with that, but what else am I good at? I'm, you know, I got great people skills, man, I've talked about this many times, like, I think I

get it from my parents, my mom and dad are just, like, especially, like, my mom is just so good with people. I watched her like, I don't know, like every stranger she met, she just made them feel like extra special. I don't know how to explain it. I just, there's something about her. So I feel like I'm good with new people. Um, that's why I like my sales job. I just like being in front of people and shaking hands and meeting like stranger. I don't know what I'm saying, but yeah, I feel like that's a strength. Um, I'm good at baking. Oh my gosh. I love baking. I feel like that's my little knack. I have a knack for that. Um, I like baking. Oh my gosh. My, my, my thing is like, I'm a, I love baking cookies. Like, oh my gosh, I can't wait for

Christmas. I'm going to make like so many cookies for Christmas time. Um, cooking is like, yeah, I'm like decent. I feel like I'm good at cooking, but I don't know what, what's happened. And I had a bad, well, since I've lived by myself, most of my 20s so far, I basically eat the same things all the time and it's not like there's a lot of finesse involved in my cooking it's pretty basic I eat very simply I guess and if someone was like oh you need like make a rack of lamb I'd be like okay I need to go do a google search on this like I wouldn't be able to just come up with like I couldn't just do it off the top of my head I need I need a recipe book or something um or like a really like a I guess like cuts of meat I'm like I need to go do some research on

um because I'm pretty simple with my meat cooking I do like ground turkey and like chicken breads or chicken my sister and mom they introduced me to chicken tenders over chicken breasts and I'm not I feel like I'll never buy chicken breasts again I like chicken thighs but I am like wait chicken tenders are where it's at they're like not dry at all anyways so yeah I do like chicken tenders chicken thighs ground turkey every now and then I'll get like a grass-fed steak I'll cook that up in my cast iron skillet I don't know like I'm good at cooking but I feel like I'm my another thing I'm good at is baking baking and it's also very it's I think it's because it's it's like therapeutic to measure things out and it's this whole process um so yeah I can't wait to bake

what else am I good at um controversial opinion in my family but I feel like I'm a really good driver even though they're always terrified when they're in the car with me um I don't know I just like I used to want to be a race car driver I played so many um xbox games where you were like a race car so I played I feel like Outrun 2 my sister and well my brother too we'd all play that together it was so fun Outrun or uh what's a takedown one there's one where you like it's like Fast and Furious but it's not called that anyways I played like a lot of race car games and uh I went to like oh yeah I remember so back in I think I was like let me take some coffee I need more coffee back when I was like 12 maybe younger I don't know I was like young probably

like 10 I went up to Vancouver BC to the IndyCar race there and they had this simulator car that you could drive in and like what if you crash the next person would go type of thing like there was a you couldn't just sit there all day but I was and it was like a simulator that was actually like if you were it was a it was it was really realistic if that makes sense and I remember I got in that thing and I was there for a really long ass like there are so many people around because I was there for a long time they kept refueling me the people that were running the simulator and I'm this little little girl in this race car this race car simulator I just remember this so well and I was I was killing it man I was killing it I wasn't crashing they kept refueling

me. I was, uh, I was, I was obsessed with it. And then also the other time I thought, oh damn, I'm like a decent driver. I'm like literally doing simulators. These aren't actual cars, um, or playing with simulators. I was in Disney world and there was this amazing arcade thing. I don't remember where it was. I think it was in like Epcot or downtown Disney. I don't know what it's called anyways, but it was like this four story gaming place, like Dave and Buster's on like times a thousand. And there was all these, um, race car. What am I saying? Like, what are they called? Like arcade race car things. You know what I mean? Like you sit in the seat, has a steering wheel and a little, uh, pedals. And I remember killing it there too. Like playing

against people. Cause they had the screens up. Everyone was playing against each other and I'm like not crashing. I'm winning the game. Um, in fact they had outrun. So that was crazy when we were there, my sister and brother and I, because we were playing OutRun all the time on our little Xbox controllers, but the place in Disney World had, like, an actual seat you sat in and the steering wheel of the same game, and so it was so fun. I'm, that was one of the best vacations ever. I love Disney World. I can't wait to go there someday again. It's gonna be great. Okay, so what else am I good at? What did I just talk about? Oh, I think I'm a good driver. I don't know. I like get competitive. I get competitive, competitive out there on the five. You know what I mean? Like

I keep it, I keep it safe, but like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like pretending when I, you know what it is when I get on, when I, when I get on the ramp to get on the freeway, that's my favorite shit. Like merging or like merging into the, the lanes. I don't know. It's fun um okay so what else am I good at um not math we've already figured that out in previous episodes I don't even try that's the thing about it I don't even try I don't I'm not like trying to prove that I'm good at math I'm not trying to sound like I'm good at math I just I'm like wiping my hands like just someone else take care of it give me a calculator I'm fine I don't need to try hard right now um oh I feel like writing yeah like whenever I did I wrote essays in college

I feel like I never struggled to come up with like I don't know sentences like writing's always been my strength um I guess makeup sure my sister always has me do her makeup for her competition shows when she does um like bodybuilding style like figure competitions um she always trusts me to do her makeup and I don't know like I've always been I don't know like I can blur out I can blur out some eyeshadow and make it look airbrushed. You know what I'm saying? Like I know what to do. Um, but I have not worn makeup. Oh my gosh, guys, I have not worn makeup. I'm not even kidding. And like, so it's September. What's the date today? September 24th. Fuck. Uh, podcast episode or YouTube podcast drop in October 1st. Oh my God. But I haven't

worn makeup probably since August, August, September. Yeah. Like two months now. Feels good but I'm like I don't know I'm feeling really ugly right now I talked to you guys on my life about this last night like my hair is back to how it was when salons were shut down earlier earlier in quarantine where it was like half brunette half blonde and I'm just like look I don't I'm not seeing any people outside of the gym right now I'm not trying to I'm not trying to like look good for anyone right now and I'm like I think it's a big ass waste of money for me to go get my hair done ball out it's like not cheap to get your hair bleached and like it's gonna have to like be it's gonna be a full head of bleach basically because it's so grown out the ends need

to be lightened it's a whole thing and um I'm like if I do it now and fix it it's gonna grow out by the time like January comes around anyways so I might as well just like not get it done till after Christmas after like that's when I'm gonna be home with family and they're not gonna I don't care, so, and the only thing that I'm, like, oh, well, maybe you should care is, like, do it for yourself, so you like how you look, because that's important, because I'm starting to really think, like, I feel so ugly when I look in the mirror, and then my eyelashes are, like, the serum I bought backfired, I've mentioned this before, but the grande lash serum I have, like, I don't know what happened, it, like, stopped working, and then my eyelashes, like, are half the size, like, they

basically, I don't know if they fell out. I think that's what happened. They like fell out, but see how my lashes aren't looking good. My hair's not looking good. But the other reason I thought maybe I should get it done is obviously because the YouTube podcast, um, starting next week. And I mean, I'll be on camera, but I keep, I'm like, I keep making up excuses. Like I'll just put on a hat and then no one will notice. Cause my ends are all blonde and fine, but that group, the roots are roots aren't anyways. Did I just say that? Because I talked about being good at makeup and then I segwayed into hair. Um, I can braid, I can French braid. I'm good at that. What else am I good at? Is podcast like, I don't know. I'm trying to like, this is my

morning pages. I'm trying to remind myself of things I'm not shitty at. Um, I guess editing like video editing. I've always been told like I have, I'm like, I'm like good at that. I'm not really, I'm not like pro at that, but I, I know how to, you know what it is. I'm good at editing things in like in a funny way if that makes sense like I I used to make a vlog for the startup company I worked at and I feel like I you know I like knew how to cut it so it was like like funny I don't know um what else am I good at I'm like looking around I'm like well oh I've always been good at interior decor like I know how to make a room look at look like it's you know you're at a hotel or like you're in restoration hardware like my whole apartment's kind of that vibe it's like

restoration hardware man cave I have like a lot of I'm looking at my pirate chest right now there's this really quirky guy at this apartment so when I moved to San Diego I moved in with the CEO of a company I used to work the startup company I worked for back like just like two years ago now we used to live together and that was it's a long story I've never told that story so whatever just know that I moved in with him like literally after two weeks of moving to San Diego anyways there's this really quirky guy at our at our apartment place and um oh excuse me it's a condo um he he always called it a condo but it wasn't like that nice um looking back but anyways this guy had this Range Rover um parked outside of his what am I saying he had he opened

up the back of his Range Rover and he had this giant pirate chest full of all these clothes and he was kind of quirky and weird and we talked for a long time of course like I just was on my night walk or whatever I was doing and you know we started talking you know small talk and he told me about he was like a designer or I don't know something like he was into fashion or something and he was trying to get rid of that pirate chest and I was like oh my gosh I'll take it he like gave it to me for free and it's the coolest piece of furniture I have it's like it's so cool and uh yeah it was totally free and I was like oh is your Range Rover also for sale or like for free like because he was talking about getting rid of that too and I'm like oh so you just give

things away I was joking but um anyways he was also trying to give me clothes and they were all like they were just not my vibe they were very um I feel like it's okay so you know on the Real housewives no one okay my male the guy this is a male my my following I looked I saw my stats yesterday again and it's like 86 percent male anyways if any guys out there know I'm just talking to ladies right now the other percentage but I feel like the real housewives especially like Beverly Hills they all wear these super I guess it's like resort wear would be the category of the type of clothes they wear they're like a lot of prints and dresses that are flowy and summery but they're like full of the designs are very like I don't explain it like boho but it's

like not there's just a lot of patterns and stuff like florals but like peacock stuff I don't even know how to explain it but the chest the pirate chest he gave me was full of clothes like that and I was just, like, not into it. Back in that time, back at that, I wasn't, that was my phase of, like, wearing the tightest, shortest everything, like, crop tops, tiny short shorts, um, short dresses, because that's when I actually had, like, abs for the first time in my life, and I was, like, fuck it, I'm wearing, I'm showing off this body, because I worked my ass off for it, and, um, yeah, I, like, that was, like, my crop top phase, and I haven't worn a crop top in, can't even think of the last time I wore a crop top this has been the year of Jacqueline wears

a double XL t-shirt in her apartment with no pants and um it's just my journey right now you know what I mean I'm all I've got them I still have my my uh that all those clothes I used to wear I'm just like you know how women are always like oh you know these are my skinny these are my skinny jeans when I lose weight and it's like people are like the tip is to get rid of it so it's not like a negative energy thing in your household if you have clothes around that don't fit you anymore but I'm like no that's my motivation like I literally have a pair of shorts in my kitchen like seriously like I'm not this is like I'm self-conscious of admitting this but I keep my favorite pair of shorts in my kitchen and they do fit again there's a point

in time where they didn't fit and now they're just there because I see it every day and I don't notice like you know when you have something in your line of sight every day and you're like you don't pay attention to it anymore but I realized like oh these finally fit me because I've been doing I've been putting in work man you know doing a lot of uh just back on my fitness routine and it's great what was I talking about oh I'm good at decorating I think like interior design um another thing I've been looking at on offer up is a big art piece for behind my couch because I just have a blank white wall which is nice like it's minimal whatever you know it's aesthetic but I'm thinking about getting like a giant I want it to be huge that's the thing I want

it to be like 12 feet long anyways um so yeah what else am I good at is this like I don't know I can move on I was gonna check Instagram and look at DMs um good at this is like depressing I can't think of a lot of things I'm great at I don't know my mom whoever's listening that knows me well is probably sitting there listing like a thousand things off in their head it's always it's always the people around you that can tell you what you're good at but you can't do it for yourself um I don't know I feel like yeah I'm just like artistic I'm like decent at artsy stuff anyways let's move on let's look at Instagram this is the chill out episode we're hanging out I mentioned on the live last night that I know some some podcast episodes are going to be like

me just checking in for 10 minutes because I'm not feeling well, or it's just going to be like, you know, like this format where yesterday I was on one. Yesterday, if you listen to episode 20, I was just like, I was wired. I was trying to make up for the first podcast I had to scrap. Okay. I'm on Instagram. Barstool posted. I love watching their videos. A woman, a server at a restaurant tripping over a thing on the ground that's funny um dms mom amen she replied to my story yeah i i saw this um i put i reposted this a little you know how there's like little like inspo quotes and shit on instagram this is what it said it said if you haven't noticed by now 2020 was designed for you to get back in touch with your soul and raise your consciousness so

you can elevate your life and I really feel like that hit home you know what I mean that really hit home for Jacqueline and that's what this whole like podcasting thing has made me realize that I'm getting back in touch with myself literally like talking I mentioned I keep saying I mentioned this on the live last night uh but no talking to myself every day has been like okay I went from not talking to myself every single day like for an hour plus to hearing the sound of my own voice and getting my thoughts out verbally 21 days in a row now and I had this realization last night I was like this is I don't know it's like my new normal you know what I'm saying like I don't know how to explain it it's weird to feel this connected to myself and this in touch with myself

because I'm like hearing my own thoughts come out into the universe now instead of just writing it or not just like suppressing it you know what I mean so I guess this is how it must feel like for people who have a they're a radio host or they've been podcasting for a really long time they're just used to it but um I'm still adjusting I'm starting to realize it's starting to feel kind of weird to hear my voice every day but I do feel like I'm the most connected to myself I've ever been I feel the most authentic I've ever been like I can't explain like I don't I keep saying I don't want to influence people I don't want to like tell people what they should do but I think this is probably one of the best if you struggle with any mental health stuff like

depression or anxiety or whatever I mean it's recommended you go to a therapist right but maybe you can't afford a therapist or maybe it's uh the frequency of seeing a therapist monthly or weekly isn't enough but if you talk to yourself every day I think it's it's magical you know it's it's there's some magic going on right now with with doing this and I just can't recommend it enough I'm a daily podcaster seven days a week and I am so stoked about it um god I'm super annoyed that my camera keeps shutting off when I I am looking at it right now I'm like this is not what I want because if I do a YouTube podcast that thing cannot stop recording because if that if it stops recording and then I'm still talking it's not going to work you know what I

mean anyways so yeah talk it out talk therapy what's the other quote I posted you guys have probably already seen it if you watch my Instagram story, but oh yeah, this is the other one. It's like when you are inspired by some great purpose, podcasting, your mind transcends limitations. Your consciousness expands in every direction. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you've ever dreamed yourself to be. Mic drop. I mean, like, straight up, that's how it really is, man. That's how it really is. Because I'm, not to be annoying about podcasting, but it's kind of like, yeah, I've, this is my purpose. I feel like I'm in 100% alignment with, like, what my soul wants. And I've had, I don't

know, like this epiphany about it, like this feeling, like ride this wave, stick with this because this is like a new feeling. And I don't think this shiny new podcasting thing I'm doing is going to ever wear off because I'm obsessed. We already know this, but the only time, so I always say like, you know, follow your intuition and listen to what your soul wants. And for the longest time, my soul was calling me to California and I always felt like I need to be here, right? I just felt like this calling I felt like I'll always live here so I did that right but then once I was here I thought now I was working for a startup company and that whole thing I thought like oh that was not only was I in my dream city San Diego I was working for this awesome company

that I felt so aligned with as far as the company culture and everything like it felt like a good fit obviously the wheels fell off the train tracks the rails fell off the train tracks or whatever towards the end and that's a whole I keep mentioning it I'm just not telling I just can't I just don't want to talk about it but um since then since like moving on from that I haven't felt like I've landed or I've found that that daily hobby job whatever that's like so perfect for me like a good fit that feels natural that feels exciting to do every day and dude podcasting is really it's really that bitch for me it's really that bitch I'm making it my bitch because I'm doing seven days a week and I am so stoked about it so I'm

back on Instagram I think I'm doing better than I thought because I'm like if I don't write notes literally there's no notes on this notebook today other than episode 21 with a line under it and then 24 hour update and a little like a little bullet point that's all I have so I'm proud of myself I'm holding my shit together I'm on Instagram let's see what I'm gonna look at see DMs someone on my live last night oh my gosh this is kind of strange let me read our DM he goes okay do you remember me the NFL player from Purdue and I'm like no clue and then he posted he sent me a selfie. He's like, we played the 49ers and I asked if you were single. Like he thought he thought he on my lap, he came on my life last night and he thought he like knew

me from something. And I'm like, that's strange. I don't know. Like that's when I was like, wait, is this like a simulation? Do I have a twin out? Is there like a clone of me out there somewhere? I don't know. I was like, I kind of freaked out. I was like, I've never been to 49ers games. I have no clue what you're talking about. Hey boys, let's check on the NFL. What's going on? Let me see the, the latest news. Trying to be one of the boys for y'all. NFL.com. Oh, maybe I was going to check TMZ too. I was like, maybe I could find some juicy content to talk about on TMZ. Okay. So could all four NFC West teams make the playoffs? We got the Cardinals. We got 49ers, Seahawks. What team is this? Yellow and blue. I've never seen this.

Is that a New Jersey? Um, anyways, there's just some, some, uh, there's like a whole essay here. I could read to you guys, but that's probably boring. Score schedule. Oh, schedule. I want to check out the schedule here. I want to see when my team's playing. We got a, Oh dude, guys. Okay. First of all, let me talk about, let's get like, let's get in our fucking feels right now. I love watching football on TV, sitting back with a beer and pizza and just hanging out, man. That is my shit. And I have nobody to do that with. And I'm pissed. So if I've learned anything about 2020 it's like do not quarantine alone do not be alone do not like distance yourself from people you can be friends with don't say no to dates like go out meet people shake hands do things

because like now I'm realizing that like my life sucks because like now football's back on tv and like I can watch this shit and I'm by myself so anyways looks like we have um that's sad but you know what this podcast is all about admitting my insecurities and things I'm self-conscious of okay so Seahawks I'm just looking at the Seahawks logo here where are they at do they go like every other week or what's happening oh here we go Cowboys Seahawks we're two and oh week three Thursday Sunday oh they're playing this Sunday sweet September 27th oh my gosh guys I'm gonna have a podcast Sunday I could talk about football on Sunday. I can't wait. Playing the Cowboys. I love the Seahawks. I'm obsessed. What teams do

you guys like? Shoot me a DM. What team are you a diehard for? You just cannot beat. You just can't beat that 12th man. Those Seahawks and that 12th man cannot be matched. And I love our stadium. The thing is, I used to be Questfield. What is it now? CenturyLink? I think they keep changing the name of it now it's like the t-mobile arena I don't fucking know oh that's in Vegas excuse me um but I love like the setting of our football stadium in Seattle by like it's like in the south side of Seattle and there's the water out there and the city next to it it's so cool can't wait to go home dude am I gonna move back is this like me realizing that maybe you should just move back to Seattle and like switch up my city I don't know I love it here though I'm like I love so

I talked about this a few days ago I feel like I'm finally feeling really at home in my apartment and you know what it is it's like I have this gratitude or this weird like I feel so calm and happy like in this it's like this new vibe I'm like this new feeling in my body I can't explain it where I'm just so like I look around at the smallest little things like I'm looking at my little tea towels my little kitchen towels I'm like I just love these little kitchen towels I love my little kitchen I'm looking at my couch I have this new pillow I love that pillow you know what I mean I just I think I was really frustrated and angry and obviously with my depression I was dealing with earlier this year I wasn't grateful to be here like I am now I'm just like I have

when I love my view I love where I look like my whole um neighborhood is awesome I'm in the beautiful I'm in beautiful weather every day I don't know I'm just feeling good about living here and I can't wait to just build my studio out and really get I was even thinking about the only thing about the studio which is my kitchen dining room uh it's like my breakfast nook thing is that I have these open doors right so I'm like well it's kind of counterintuitive or counterproductive or whatever if I soundproof this bitch and there's like still these open doorways so I was thinking I might get like heavy soundproof curtains like probably not for a while because I think the sound quality is like decent even now without like any soundproof but um I was

thinking about getting like making this a little cave you know what I mean like curtains in front of the doorways and so if like people came over be like oh come into my spooky studio and there's like a black light it's like a raven here I don't know I just like getting creative and imagining like my little what this whole room is going to be like and that's the thing like before I wasn't really grateful about my apartment right and I was just kind of like annoyed by all my shit I'm like I just want to be a minimalist I can't buy anything I just was annoyed by like my stuff because I saw it every day when I was obviously earlier in quarantine where now I'm filling the corners and I'm putting clutter everywhere I'm putting things in front of

I really like to look at. Look at my little bottle of lotion here. It smells so good. I'm obsessed with this lotion. My mom got me. It's called a frosted sugar cookie. Um, it's going to sting my hand if I put it on though, cause I have cut from my lifting. I broke skin again. I keep lifting on my deadlifts. I, um, I'm callusing right on my palms, but, um, a couple of them broke so it like stings when I put it's annoying like when I wash my face like the or like shower the soap stings my hands so much anyways yeah I'm like feeling really creative about my apartment now and I know it's like nice and I get like excited so I love like the routine of preparing for a podcast and looking stuff up and writing and checking in checking in on the world and the news

And, um, like I I'm on Twitter right now. Let's go to the explore section. Let's talk about news. Yeah. This Brianna Taylor thing is terrible. Um, could read the news about that. You probably know what's going on with, with that, uh, situation. Um, really sad, really unfortunate, but, um, I don't know. I don't want to talk about bad news. Millions of acres have now burned in wildfires across the u.s west coast okay i'm gonna look up so i saw this graph of wildfires from like the last hundred years um wildfires hundred years graph i'll type that in google i looked and it was like dude this is nothing compared to how it used to be apparently you know me i'm always asking questions like you know is it really that bad but this is what people don't do you know

what i mean everyone just sees what they see and they don't ask any questions so this is by millions of acres so 1960 okay it's the highest it's ever well since the 60s it's the highest it's ever been but i feel like earlier in the early 1900s it was it was like crazy in comparison to it to the way it is now wildfire statistics fas.org i love a i love government website or dot gov dot org i love dot org dude jacqueline tjms.org that's when i want to have my website uh name patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show peppering that in there i can't wait to do shout outs for you guys the first person okay whoever signs up to my patreon first is gonna get the most

like your shout out is gonna be as if you're like the prince of fucking i don't know like prince of narnia the prince of i don't know like you're a prince you're like a king a prince i'm gonna make it like so special um i just assume it's gonna be a guy or a girl or you'll be the princess if a girl does yeah you guys have no clue what these shout outs are gonna be like but I don't know patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show yay okay wildfire statistics annual wildfires in acres burned 1990 to 2019 okay I want to look at like early 1900s do they have this is like a really dry looking document here I want like a I want like a nice infographic about this but the New York Times has one that was one of my favorite classes in college

I took I forget the name of it but we basically looked at all these infographics infographs infographics I don't know and like studied them and shit I'm not really looking at what I want to see because I'm just trying to prove or trying to say that like in 19 like let me look at the 1910 early 1900s forest fires forest fires um i don't know okay enough about the forest fire topic i'm just trying to like i'm being annoying because i'm like it's not as bad as it used to be it's really fucking bad right now i can't downplay it it's any like here's the thing forest fires doesn't matter how many acres are burning they still suck they're still terrible whether it's a hundred million acres or a million acres you know what i mean

squirrels are still dying i'm sad brandon leek just got crowned the winner of america's god talent i don't care i don't follow those shows i don't watch tv do you guys watch america's god talent that was like an era that's so gone now like the whole sitting around tv with my family watched an American Idol family feud um one versus a hundred we used to love that show um oh we were a 60 minutes household like every Sunday I done it didn't matter like what we were doing 60 minutes on CBS what's the CBS right seven o'clock all of us are around like we eat dinner at six seven o'clock rolls around we're all watching 60 minutes I loved Andy Rooney segment rest in peace his crazy eyebrows um we used to yeah like watch those stories as a family

but yeah those days are over like I don't have a routine with like watching a show every week it's like an oh a new new episode of this came out you know America's Got Talent you know next week tune in to see who moves on like I don't I don't watch anything like that um I don't know it's like not it's not interesting to me anymore really I'm like like the whole oh dancing with the stars, I know that's really huge right now, the, the new cast is, like, apparently crazy, okay, I'm looking at the U.S. news, um, anything here to talk about that I'm, like, you know, I have a strong opinion about, this is the Hangout episode, we're just chilling, hanging out, I feel like a lot of you guys listen to this at work, I don't know why,

i just have a feeling that you do so um just like uh the luxury air business is booming as many struggle to breathe the luxury air business what the fuck is that is that like hepa filters i have luxury air in my bedroom every night because I have a little filter I got on Amazon which I think I I don't mean to be like I don't know if it's dramatic for me to say this but I do notice I can I notice I breathe better it's so weird but I notice like in the morning after that thing's been filtering my room all night I'm like I'm like this is like this is like some this is some smooth air there's like no particles that are you know I don't know is that luxury air LA Times gonna read this it's probably gonna ask for my

money and it won't because like all these news websites are like subscribe or like sign up okay i want to know what the luxury air business is we're learning things today um okay so good air begins at the foundation okay okay the interior of one of his houses is built with materials that minimize off gassing paint and insulation are the most common risks okay that's not telling ventilation is key no no shit when possible his company builds piping that sucks air from laundry rooms trash areas and even under the kitchen sink i want to know about this company that makes luxury air

it's probably some you know what this probably is it's like these fancy homes in san francisco where the air is really bad. Um, this is an article about like ventilation systems in these homes, which I was thinking about. So, you know, I've been like, you know, getting into the stock market and looking at shit. I feel like the new wave is going to be like ventilation, like air ventilation systems, like, like commercial size shit. It's going to be like a huge thing in the future because of viruses and everything people are going to install. Like it's going to, maybe there's like a new like some sort of new technology that comes out that helps filter the air better so like virus particles aren't I don't know the thing is like I don't even know how I don't I

hear so much contradicting information about like how the virus spreads and like you know if it's in the air or if it's just between like I don't know like what am I saying like it's passed through spitting on someone I don't understand anyways but I'm thinking like I had a theory earlier in the quarantine I was like well if there was a ventilation system and all all these public places where people gather like especially concert places that could just suck out they could filter the air really efficiently and quickly it would help minimize people's the transmission I don't know I also made a thing like this is like way back when I was just uneducated I was just hyperventilating every day about the fucking virus this is like in March

I thought what if Elon or whoever the fuck could invent something where there was like if you go to a bar you know how people are spitting all over each other talking as they're you know drinking and whatnot I was thinking like what if there were these lasers installed on the ceiling, where it would, like, track two people talking, and, like, as they're talking, it was able to zap part of, like, zap the virus particles as they were coming out of the mouth, could, like, detect them, and I don't know, is that, this is probably stupid, but I just thought, like, how could we, like, like, in the future, like, way in the future, what would we do in this situation, you know, if we had, like, how could we, I don't know, I don't know if it's that dramatic, I think

it's isn't it a good thing if a bunch of people get it even though they have they're like asymptomatic because of like immunity or something I don't know like I feel like is I'm starting to think like wait the more people get it the better right because it will like morph and not be as bad I don't know but apparently I'm looking at the news here they're Johnson and Johnson's working on a vaccine that's cool this is a really I feel like this is a long podcast but I'm like you know what this has been a chill, like, hangout, oh, I was gonna go back to BuzzFeed, there was something else I might, I might want to do, um, what's your unpopular dessert opinion, should I do this, let's just talk about food again, I'm, like, actually hungry for breakfast, I didn't have

a very big dinner last night, starting to notice that, I don't know, a lot of you were, like, jealous on my, about my broccoli on my live stream, I'm, like, how are you jealous of this, It's actually, it's not even, well, it was good because they spiced it up really well. Shout out Trader Joe's smoked paprika. But yeah, you guys are like, I'm jealous. I'm hungry. I want your broccoli. What's your unpopular dessert opinion? You know what I might do? So I think the show I'm going to start watching again is the British Bake Off, the British Bake Off show on Netflix. I think it's Netflix. I watched the Christmas edition and get all like in my feels about Christmas baking because I don't know I like watching cooking shows where it's like

Christmas themed so this is a quiz called what's your unpopular dessert opinion um I like I'm so thing about these BuzzFeed food quizzes is I'm like the most I'm I'm a fucking raccoon like I eat everything I have no like the only things so my only but I feel like the thing I do not like my taste buds will probably never change is black licorice I don't think there's anything like I can't think of another thing where I'm like absolutely not I will not eat it but um what is this quiz let's see if it's quick maybe this will be fun um but even though it's wait it's not even a quiz what I think it's safe to say that dessert is something we all can get behind

but even though it's great as a whole not every dessert appeals to everybody for example maybe you think that nothing ruins a slice of apple pie more than a scoop of vanilla vanilla ice cream on top um that's stupid if you don't like ice cream with your apple pie because that's like the best like the warm and hot thing I love desserts where it's like a warm pie with a scoop of cold ice cream hello it's the best um or perhaps you think that no holiday season is complete with a slice of fruitcake no one even makes fruitcake or like eats fruitcake it's not even like I I've never that it's such a that um the whole fruitcake thing needs to move on or like it needs to we need to just bury that in the past there's too much there's too much like people try to make

jokes about fruitcake and like how it's like passed around and like re-gifted every year and it's not like people are no one's making fruitcake like I mean yes they are obviously it's okay can't say that but I don't know they always have to ask the fruitcake question maybe you think mint chocolate chip ice cream just tastes like disgusting toothpaste dude I love mint chocolate chip ice cream my sister that's her favorite I feel like every time we got ice cream as a kid my sister would always get the mint. I love mint ice cream. See, I'm not picky. This is a stupid quiz. Or perhaps you think red velvet is just chocolate cake with a fancy name. You know what I think the red velvet thing does to your sight? It's like a psychological thing when you eat it

because it's red. Like obviously there's cocoa powder in it. I'm doing a real big, this is a real big ass education for all you boys listening today who don't bake. But if a girl out there is listening to me talk about bacon cake you probably know what I'm talking about so you put cocoa powder and red red velvet cake and obviously a ton of red food coloring but I feel like yes it tastes like chocolate if you close your eyes and you didn't see that was it was red but when you eat it and it's red you're like this is red velvet cake like it's its own flavor it's its own category even though if you close your eyes yes it's just basically chocolate cake so it's so weird I feel like your brain fucks with you when you eat it so the last thing here is whatever it is we want

to hear about it so tell us your most unpopular dessert opinions and why you believe them to be true and you could be featured in an upcoming buzzfeed community poster video I'm really using buzz buzzfeed as a as a crutch today as like my um you know for talking points and topics but I'm enjoying myself I'm just hanging out this is uh my this is like my marathon episode man I'm just I still have coffee I'm feeling good thoughts aren't all the way out I really do that to you guys though I'm like yo this is not ending until all of my thoughts squeeze out of my body and I'm absolutely like out of coffee out of water and I can't talk anymore and I don't care the thing is this is a good thing about or just I don't know how I feel is that I'm not concerned about keeping

people's attention for the whole episode or like fucking like being too much you know what I mean crowding out the podcast space by doing it seven days a week I don't care okay this is fun for me I don't want to do anything else I'm gonna get yes of course depressed after I finish recording because I just want to do this all day okay so this is kind of a stupid little thing I read about all those desserts you know what I mean but I'm reading the comments because comments are words are where it's at cupcakes so these are people's unpopular dessert opinions underneath cupcakes are overrated they are awkward to eat and the cake to icing ratio is all wrong how could you say that I love cupcakes I mean I get it but here's the thing if you've ever been

so I'm feeling like this is what I'm doing right now I'm tapping into my former fat ass self or like what's my I'm like at heart I'm a I'm a I'm a little fat kid like 100% um I already talked about like in the I feel like there's a podcast title I made already called my toxic traits and one of them is that I can't stop eating it's like my toxic trait I thought that oh that's funny I have like an issue like I'm a plate clean I'm a plate cleaner if you put food on my plate I'm gonna fucking finish it I don't understand how people can just like not finish their food well I do I did that last night on my live stream like I couldn't finish my dinner it was like too much anyways um and I just said earlier like I didn't eat that much last night it's because I had like

just broccoli and like nothing else whatever um but uh I'm tapping into my former fat ass self because I feel like my favorite thing ever speaking of cupcakes is every time I go to Vegas I get I go to Sprinkles Cupcakes um I'm like a food when I go there it's like I'm there for the food I'm there for the drinking obviously but the food in Vegas is so good and I go to Sprinkles and I get the same thing every year I get a cupcake sundae it's so much it's so fucking filling it's literally like all I can eat that day it's a cupcake they cut in half and put ice cream in between and it is so good I get the red velvet uh sprinkles cupcake which is like the OG one and I get what kind of ice cream do I get between I don't know I get like whatever flavor

like vanilla or like chocolate chip or something and put that in between and it's so good so people are saying on this buzzfeed thing that cupcakes are overrated but I mean I get it like there's it's awkward like it's yeah oh someone said it here comment black licorice I don't get why someone would want to eat a bitter candy my whole family loves black licorice and I never I never join in I feel like whenever we go camping or like I don't know like road trips and stuff they always get like black licorice at the store oatmeal raisin cookies don't deserve all the hate they get the texture amazing the sweetness on fucking point the nutritional value goddamn priceless people just don't deserve them they are a gift to the world oh my gosh that's a very strong opinion

about oatmeal raisin cookies see I love the way people like I love I love like internet culture and like how people write shit that's so like the way they said this the texture amazing the sweetness on a fucking point the nutritional value value goddamn priceless like you know what I mean like it's just the way they phrased it it's really funny oatmeal raisin no I don't I just I I fuck with the uh oatmeal chocolate chip over the oatmeal raisin I'm not a raisin a chick I don't what did I read raisins are just like oh grape beef jerky or like grape jerky I think yeah I read something about that like beef jerky like a raisin is grape jerky

um white chocolate is disgusting i can't believe that anyone possibly didn't enjoy okay that's stupid um i don't know maybe i'll read a few more of these and just like wrap up this topic i don't know why i bounced to buzzfeed what was i talking about before this loving the studio setup talking about my strengths i'm great at interior design i can bake i can have a conversation with anyone I talked about my 24-hour update I worked out I don't know I'm feeling good today um someone's bitching about nuts and desserts I hate when restaurants put walnuts on ice cream it ruins the dessert for me and I have to ask for them to take it off every time I don't know this is kind of getting dry these comments trying to find something that I disagree with

marshmallows okay actually guys so I mentioned um yeah okay I just figured out what my other thing I hate it so I mentioned black licorice and I do not fuck with marshmallows unless it's on a s'more like incinerated on a s'more I'll eat it but I will not I guess hot chocolate but I don't drink hot like I I haven't had a s'more in a year I don't feel like I didn't capitalize on going to the beach around a bonfire this summer making a s'more I did not take up any of those opportunities um but it's summer every day here so I could still do it right just like a little summer vibe what am I saying um it's fall now officially I mean it's first day of fall yesterday but yeah I don't eat like peeps I don't fuck with peeps terrible product um especially

yeah just don't understand the hype and just plain marshmallows if people just like I could never just take a marshmallow plain and eat it so that's my controversial opinion I'm just reading more here yeah these are kind of stupid people a lot of people don't like Nutella that's one of my okay what I am really good at is making homemade Nutella with my own hazelnuts oh my gosh guys my homemade Nutella is so good it doesn't taste it tastes like it doesn't really it tastes like Nutella but it's like all natural and really healthy because it's like I toast so I go to Trader Joe's because they sell like bags of hazelnuts for like six bucks and I toast the

hazelnuts for like 20 minutes on like 350 and then I grind them up in my blender with a little coconut oil cocoa powder actually a lot of cocoa powder or cacao powder and then I add maple syrup how do I sweeten it usually I sweeten it with like a little maple syrup or coconut sugar so good dip your apples on that the best so yeah I'm great at making Nutella um okay so just back on the internet now oh 50 questions to get to know someone I like pulled this up for previous podcast I could talk about like I could answer some questions right now um oh man this coffee's so good I am getting hungry so it's like I don't know maybe I should

done this do you guys like these these casual podcasts these more like hangout style podcasts where I don't have a plan I never have a plan I'm always winging it but usually I have like literally my notebook is full it's so like it's so like scribbled on and every page is there's like I have to so I'll write everything for a podcast and then I'll like turn the notebook sideways to fill in the sides and stuff, like, anywhere I could fit in the last little bits of thoughts I have. Today is literally episode 21 in a 24-hour update bullet point, and that's it. Proud of myself. Um, yeah, what's the, what are these questions? 50 questions to get to know someone. What is your favorite body part?

Um, I mean, outside of my, like, I don't want to talk about my face. I feel like I could say, like, oh, I like my eyes or, you know, I don't have a great ass. Let's just, uh, call a spade a spade. What's your least favorite mode of transportation? I don't know. Lately I've had this weird plane anxiety. It's stupid. I don't even want to talk about it. I like get really nervous about flying now, which is like a new thing for me. Um, I don't know. I think when you're the older you get, you just have, I feel like it's like you're, you have more to lose or you're more oops you're more um I don't know like aware of things that could go wrong really quickly I don't know but let's like you know knock on wood you know having a safe flight home

this Christmas or this Thanksgiving okay what else is on here but I don't really have a least favorite mode of transportation I guess like scooters I don't know I love so one of my favorite things about living in London is um I just say I lived I love saying I lived in London I was literally there for not that long, but it was my study abroad, right? I just love saying that. But anyways, I was such a nerd about the tube. Is that the tube? Wait, the tube. We're going to get on the tube. Wait, not the subway. What do they fucking call it there? The tube. Oh my gosh, why am I blinking? That's the London subway. I'm just typing that in Google. they call it the tube london underground the tube i'm gonna type in yeah the tube that's what people

call it of course i knew that but um i was such a nerd about like knowing i like memorized it after a while because that's the only way we got around the city and um i loved like knowing how each like rail worked and like where it went and where it stopped like i knew all the names of each stop and I don't know I really nerded out to uh the public transportation system there and I love like that's what I loved about um London or just like any city even when I was in DC I felt like there was a subway there I love I love subway systems there's something about like the you know what it is it's like I feel there's like a weird there's a there's an energy about like it's a collective energy of people moving in this like amoeba of I don't even know

how to explain it like people go getting on the subway and coming out and it's like this everyone's in the flow like you start the way you walk around a subway is its own it's like I can't describe it it's so like I'm I'm assertive I'm fast I'm in the flow I'm like on these escalators I'm coming down I'm like walking fast I'm like marching to the door I'm getting on I'm grabbing the the rail thing I'm holding on and I'm watching the door so I don't get slammed or you don't get you know chopped in half and I don't know it's like this whole thing um and I feel really efficient I feel productive that's why you know LA and San Diego like we obviously drive everywhere which I'm down for that I don't I don't mean it's fine but I do

miss like that part of living in a city where you're you're constantly walking like it would be nice when I think about it like I can walk where I live is great because I'm close to the city I'm like not like downtown like within the big buildings and stuff but um I thought about this in in San Diego like we have these amazing beachy towns and it's so like it's so spread out here like the main city itself isn't huge but I thought about you know if we had a subway under underneath all this I could shoot out to the uh overlooking the hill that everyone goes to in Pacific Beach what's it called I can't remember the name of it but it's like this park this hill that reminds me of Primrose Hill in London where it overlooks the whole city but if I was in London

you get on a you get on the tube and you you go up a couple stops and you're there whereas here in San Diego I have to get in my car I have to drive there it takes like 15 minutes I gotta find parking and that's like a different kind of um lifestyle I guess which the way it's set up here is like kind of not it's not even similar to London at all but um like the spread of it it'd be cool if there was a a subway system to get around but yeah I love public transportation that was one of the quiz questions here um what chore do you absolutely hate doing oh we talked about this already I hate cleaning my shower the shower tiles I hate I just I hate it so much um let's see what else is here if you could change your first name what would you change

it to what did I say like cookie joe I think would fit my vibe better than Jacqueline Jacqueline if you could meet anyone living or dead who would you meet oh my gosh these questions are i am like overwhelmed trying to think of like maybe my grandpa like i never got to meet my grandpa my dad's dad he died before i was born um which celebrity do you get mistaken for um honestly so i just realized it was funny um which celebrity you get mistaken for is the question and um I was watching the morning toast yesterday with Jackie and Claudia I always mention their podcast um and Claudia was talking about how she thinks it's so offensive when someone tells you who you look like because

it's you have an you have an image in your head of like how you look and then when someone tries to like bring up someone that looks like you it's usually like not at all how you think you look anyways but I've gotten I've gotten a lot of like I got it yesterday actually on a comment on one of my pictures I don't know I got like you know Kourtney Kardashian um I've gotten Aubrey Plaza I've gotten Aubrey Plaza Kourtney Kardashian I've gotten um what's her name Stassi Schroeder from what's her show that she was on um Stassi from Vanderpump Rules I think that's when I dyed my hair blonde I started to look like her I don't know I look like me you know what I'm saying like I just have my own look um Gemma Stiles I've gotten that a lot anyway so that's what this

question is maybe I should wrap up the podcast but I'm still going I'm feeling good man I still have my coffee my ice cubes aren't fully melted this is a chill episode we're hanging out um when you have 30 minutes of free time how do you pass the time like tiktok i don't know i scroll my phone stupid question personal history questions here oh this might be fun what is your first memory of being really excited oh really excited my first memory i like weirdly remember being three years old and getting my Barbie car for my birthday. Yeah. I think that's what I got for, it was a birthday present. I'm pretty sure not Christmas. But I remember in my first house I lived in, we had

this, um, my brother and sister and I all lived, we all lived, we all lived in the attic. No, we all had a, it was, it was so awesome. We had this, the, the upper part of the house, it was like an old farmhouse. We basically had all of our beds up there and like we each had like a different corner of the room because it's like one big open playroom attic thing and I remember whenever it was like our birthdays or Christmas we walked down their stairs that went down the middle of the house and down into the living room and on Christmas on Easter on birthdays we walked down there and my parents or Santa Claus or whoever the fuck wouldn't put our presents right out there when he when he opened the door so I remember being so the first thing

I was really excited time. I really remember being excited was when I walked down those stairs and then I opened the door and there was this Barbie car, like an electric Barbie car, right. That I got to sit in and drive around. And, um, I love that thing. I remember that was like the best, like, I just really remember that feeling of getting excited about seeing that. Cause it was so huge and like, Oh my gosh, it's my own car. And it like drives like an actual car. Um, also oh my cd player huge that was a huge christmas present i think that was a santa present my blue cd player i got so excited about it came with this blue case this blue like nylon uh satchel that i could wear um i like i even have a picture i might post it it's like a

throwback of me on my razor scooter with a silver helmet on i'm in a plaid christmas dress like a red plaid Christmas dress with my new CD player satchel around my just like you know like a little purse on me it's so cute my mom just sent me that picture a few months ago but that was another really exciting time I remember getting my first CD player and then I remember my first CD was Hanson Hanson Brothers I went I think it was like after Christmas my aunt and I we always go through we love we call it junking so whenever I go home or just in the past when I lived at home my aunts and I would um and my sister and my mom have like a girls day we call it junking like hey let's go junking we usually like get coffee and maybe we could go out to

breakfast one of our favorite breakfast places and then we go to all the thrift stores and look around because we all love thrift shopping so I think it was after Christmas when I got that CD player. I didn't have any CDs. So I remember my aunt, I think we were in like Valley Village, pretty sure it was Valley Village. And I was looking through all the CDs and I found this orange CD that said Hanson. Let me look it up. I'm pretty sure I still remember like Hanson CD, if it looked like that. Yeah. I knew it was orange. I remember it was my first CD and I played that thing. Yeah. It was a middle of, what was the title? Middle of nowhere. I think it was the type the title of the CD like so yeah that was like my first boy band I ever listened

to was Hanson and um they kind of all like looked like girls they all had long hair at the time I was kind of like wait these are boys I was so confused you know what I mean like as a little kid I was so young I was like they're boys but they have really long hair and I was like whoa what's this but it was like it was like their rocky rock and roll kind of style or their their pop it was a you know boy band poppy sound but yeah yeah thinking of you that was a good song every now and then I listen to their songs and I'm like whoa I feel like I'm back in my bedroom like I used to listen to them before bed and I would try to remember all the lyrics and I even wrote I remember I even gotten so deep listening to Hanson uh that I would write the lyrics as I

I would like stop pause the song write what I just heard so I could memorize the lyrics so yeah I think that was the answer to the question about when's the last time you remember getting really excited and I think it was yeah my Hanson and my well my Barbie car and then my Hanson um CD CD I got and by the way the house I just described where we all my siblings and I all had a bedroom together in the like the attic location um I think the walls it was cool they they were, like, blue, yeah, it was, like, blue, and, like, the roof, it was, like, so cool, because the roof was pointy, right, and so, like, it was kind of, like, being in this cool, like, blue cave, I don't know how to explain it, and that's a house, by the way, I mentioned, I think, yesterday, that had the

cow barns that were empty, like, we lived on this farm, but we didn't actually have cows, but the barns were, like, there for someone if they wanted to have, like, livestock and stuff, but it's like the house with the barn with the toilet I said yesterday so same house um maybe I'll do one more and then and this still feeling good a little more coffee shout out to the people that listen to the podcast that I just like okay yesterday on the live I was like I don't know what did I just say I was so surprised like a lot of people dm me and like I'm like wait I don't even how they'll be like oh my gosh I love the podcast and I'm like oh I haven't thought of you in so long or I didn't even like I don't know who

I know like the people like the people that DM me every day about the podcast obviously I know they listen but I don't know who listens other than my mom and like a few other people so it's always nice when someone's like I'm enjoying it I like forgot about them or I didn't know they followed me or whatever shout out to you guys I'm hope I'm hoping this is like something exciting for you to look forward to every day or I don't know um here we could talk about food again when was the last time you had an amazing meal I don't want to talk about that I don't know like every day every day last night what do you miss most about being a kid see I could just sit here and reminisce even more about these questions

what story does your family always tell about you oh what story do they always tell about me that's hard I don't know my mom's gonna do a lot of story time about Jacqueline when we do interviews when I go home for the holidays I can't wait she's gonna expose me guys she's gonna expose me um oh random questions the best part of waking up is my favorite part about waking up is knowing that I'm gonna podcast because every morning I wake up and I'm like oh my gosh I get to do another podcast I honestly can't even explain that feeling I get it's like it's stupid it's kind of stupid it's like how are you this excited to podcast every day of the week like literally Sunday through Saturday you wake up and you get on your little headset and you do your podcast and

it's psycho it's literally like I have this weird obsession now with talking it out every day it feels good you know what and I think that's why I keep talking until I find like I'm absolutely maxed out and I can't say anything else because I'm really trying to give it my all for you guys and um I don't know like I don't want to let anything I don't want to leave anything you know unsaid I'm just like what else you know what else could I go into today today's been kind of like a chill episode though I realized that like we've just been uh you know hanging out together looking at quizzes talking about my strengths and not my weaknesses and what I'm nervous about and I don't know it's kind of like we're we're literally it's like I

invited you over for coffee this morning that's how this is we're just having a good time trying to think of like what I would talk to my mom about on the phone if I called her right now um, back on my phone, let's see if there's anything I could bring up here, Chamberlain Coffee, Emma Chamberlain posted a new picture of, oh, is this, she's got some new products coming out, I'm excited for her, I love Emma Chamberlain, I, like, see myself in her so much, it's stupid, I'm, like, wait, you know what, okay, I have to give her a shout out right now, like, I realized in quarantine, I was watching a lot of her YouTube vlogs and I was watching her going, wait, this is

like me not giving a fuck and doing YouTube. Like, this is how I would do it if I just really posted how I thought about, like, she says it like it is. She's unfiltered. She doesn't care if she looks like shit on camera. She like, it's so raw and so authentically like her, you know what I mean? and I realized like now that I've because I'm trying to be as self-aware as possible and as authentic and real as possible right so when I watch back my when I watch my old YouTube videos

back I'm like I felt so even though I was trying to be as like her as like not I wasn't trying to be like her in fact I didn't discover her until like I think it was July um but I realized like I was still trying to be kind of put on like a good show and like trying to like yeah I did a Zara haul I've never worn those heels I bought that I got back in I got Zara heels back in from I did like a fashion haul I never wore those heels I got them I really wanted them it's a great thing to add in my closet for you know when I go out to dinners and you know go out drinking and whatnot they're great pair of heels right I'm it was a good investment but I'm like I just felt like looking back that video I'm like I was just doing what other people do like I just was trying

to do the youtuber thing like oh Zara Hall you know here's my new skincare it just felt like looking back now I'm like that's not really what I it doesn't feel natural like doing this feels so fucking natural and so like comfy and me I can't that's why I feel so good that's why when I wake up every day I get so excited to do this um yeah so Emma Chamberlain shout out to her because uh or shout out to you because I think you've been you've been helping me wake up to the fact that I think I need to just let it let it all hang out like you do and just not filter anything not just just like keep it up don't keep anything to myself it feels so good um and I know that's something she that's like her brand and she's also and I've her see I told I haven't like

mentioned her so many times I'm like she's the iced coffee girl I know I talk about iced coffee all the time and a lot of people talk about iced coffee but she has her own coffee company Chamberlain Coffee and I think that is so cool and I'd love to have my own coffee company someday maybe we should partner up let's uh no don't like it's your thing um but maybe my thing is instant coffee I come out with like a bougie instant coffee for the world oh last night I'm looking at my story now, I drank, um, so after my workout, guys, I can't describe how good my workout was, guys, I keep referring to you guys, guys, um, is my table, like, wait, it's, like, not flat all the way, there's, like, a dip in it, wait, did I just notice this?

I don't know what's happening, but, um, anyways, I had such a great workout, right, so afterwards, um, I was, like, so thirsty, because during my workout, on the way to the gym, I drank, like, half of my water bottle and I finished it during my workout and so all the vending machines well excuse me all the water fountains were not available because they don't because you know fucking pandemic and then um oh my gosh a corgi a new corgi in the neighborhood outside oh my gosh it has the cutest little legs I want a corgi I think if I have a dog if I get a dog it's definitely it's gonna be a golden retriever for sure but I want to get it a friend and I want to get it a corgi a little a little pal um and a kitten I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have three

animals in this one bedroom apartment. Um, what was I saying? Oh, anyways, I left my wallet in the car. I was like, I could buy something, a vending machine, but I don't want to go out to the car and get it to get water, get my wallet to buy water. And so after my workout was so, so thirsty. So I got two protein shakes. I got, um, they were on clearance. It's like, normally they're like 599 and they said $1.98. So I was like, oh, I love these protein shakes. I'm going to get a couple. Right. So, um, I buy them, I get a Gatorade cause I was craving Gatorade so thirsty right and I realized yesterday I had my first Gatorade since high school basketball which I'm going to be talking a lot about by the way on my 24th episode in honor of Kobe I'm doing

a basketball episode on episode 24 anyways I got a Gatorade I drank it for like the first one in years and um quenched my thirst you know what I mean but these protein shakes I I was like okay they're I've had them before I know what they taste like but they were on clearance and then I took a sip of it in the car and I posted this on my story that's why I'm saying this and it was so like it tasted like expired like sour so pissed off um but I think it's because they're vegan and there's like pea protein in it and I'm not used to that I don't know so anyways they're in my fridge right now I thought well maybe I'll wake up in the morning my taste buds will change probably not dms let's see if I got anything I feel like I'm squeezing out the last thoughts

here. We're like coming to a podcast is coming to a close. Catch you on the podcast tomorrow. I got to catch you on the podcast sound waves tomorrow. DM. It's funny. Um, I don't know. Mike Chandler, MMA doing, doing things. I like watch. I love following guys do MMA. Cause I'm like, this is like, I want to take podcast podcasting as serious, as seriously as they take MMA or like fighting. It's insane. Like they are relentless. It's super cool to watch. I love seeing people give it their all. That's why I like following David Goggins when he talks. I'm like, he's like, what did he say on his video today? He's like, um, there's like a word that doesn't exist in his vocab. It's like average or something or like, I don't know, a word like that. And I'm

just like, he's like uncommon. People don't think like that. I want to be uncommon. You know what? speaking of being the david goggins of fucking podcasting here i am doing a six hour episode let me drink some more coffee it's pretty uncommon to do it seven days a week a week right right i just gotta like keep reminding myself that i'm like paving the way for people doing this you know what it is um again i'm not comparing myself to david goggins it's not like that but i'm just saying like maybe I want to see the common theme I carry through every podcast is I'm getting so cozy both of my legs are up on the chairs opposite on the table and I'm like leaning the fuck back

oh but like I talk about consistent themes I carry through each podcast right stuff I want to constantly reiterate and and and you know I want people to like think of my podcast and the think of the ideas and should I promote? And one of them is, damn it, I lost my train of thought. Uncommon, David Goggins, giving it your all. Damn it, I really just lost my train of thought there. It's probably because I was talking about getting cozy. Anyways, I feel like it'll come to me. It'll come to me. Skip ahead like 30 seconds before it'll come back. I don't edit my podcast I just oh I know what I was gonna say um the format of like one take or like the long format I know has been talked about so much lately like this is the wave doing a podcast no editing

just talking things out is it's the wave it's like it's everyone's doing a podcast it's a thing but I keep going back to like a common theme I keep coming back to is that if we're gonna be on social media from here on out like we've it's here to stay everyone's going to be online and have a profile and you know be an internet version of themselves as well as an actual person in the world obviously I feel like moving forward it's starting to look currently I'm starting to notice how like I'm just gonna say like yes fake I hate using the word fake but how like uninteresting or like very surface level just having a profile with pictures and

and just like the nice versions of yourself on your profiles like just having that is starting to look really redundant and like I don't know how to explain it like I'm desensitized at this point I'm so desensitized by products and I've said this so many times by profiles and pretty pictures and pretty people and pretty cars and everything on Instagram you know or like just the internet in general even YouTube and how everything's like beautifully curated and edited and aesthetic and it's like not it doesn't it's starting to feel less and less and less cool and like real and it's something I don't want to strive for anymore and that's something I'm trying to promote here like a theme I'm trying to promote on the podcast is moving forward I think

it's so much cooler or like I'm personally I personally think it's so much better um probably for everyone's mental health and just like I don't know everything if people posted themselves like in the long form talking on a podcast checking in with their followers like in a conversational way or just like on YouTube just do one take just sit down in front of the camera and chit chat I don't know what I'm saying I just have this fantasy that like all the aesthetic-y shit will go away and it's probably never going to but yeah like I even saw like I was looking at Kim Kardashian's story she's in this new outfit and I'm like this is starting to not even no light bulbs are going off in my head anymore I'm not like excited to see fancy nice

glamorous things I don't know how to explain it I mean I'm like trying to work this out right now that's why this podcast is going to be six hours and I'm just talking forever but yeah I don't know how to like describe my thoughts about that I think it's because I'm longing for I'm trying to like I you know what it is I keep saying I want people to snap out of it maybe it's because I'm now on the other side where I'm like I used to strive for the aesthetics and the glam and that type of vibe with the content I made online even my YouTube vlogs I was trying to like edit it and make it all like nice and shiny and beautiful and I know it's art I know it's people's hobby I know it's people are creative they like seeing themselves in a beautiful light and I get that

So I'm not trying to shut it down. I'm just saying that now that I know what it feels like to go from striving for that aesthetic stuff, go from that to not caring about that at all and speaking my mind every day and not really making it about how I look and taking time. like the time I made a time I took to make this podcast it could have been having a photo shoot for one picture on Instagram right but what does that one picture do for me it doesn't do anything personally doesn't do anything for me and I'm that's why I think this podcasting is the best thing for me like this is the format I want to you know I want to make content in this in this way from now on um but I'm like well it'd be kind of nice if other people out there more people kind of snapped out of it and looked took like a step back and looked at themselves and went like yeah like I'm still caught up in this and it's kind of it's just like redundant it's like not

it's not interesting anymore like it's not and that's what's sad it's like or not sad maybe it's a good thing that I don't know I just I'm kind of I'm sick of talking about it honestly but I just want I want people to be real I want people to be unscripted unedited and unfiltered and I don't know it's a lifestyle around aesthetics and trying to look good on Instagram is just not for me so hi I'm doing a podcast 70s a week instead shout out to uh finding my passion I don't know um dude I'm so comfy I'm leaning back drinks and some water iced coffee is officially down to one sip my tummy just growled so I think that means I need breakfast I'm gonna have so many raspberries in my oatmeal again today oh I am gonna go through so that yesterday I mentioned

I found my journal from like when I moved to San Diego it's really funny to look at um just like my little notes I would like sold whiskey bar on Craigslist six frat dudes came and picked it up I wrote a note there yeah that condo I mentioned earlier I used to I moved right into after i moved to sandy like when i moved to san diego we had a we had like a bar that i sold like when we moved twice together or three times i helped no one three times i helped move um the guy i lived with and anyways we had this bar at the condo and i remember put it up for sale on craigslist and these six frat dudes came and like lifted that bitch out of the condo down the stairs i still have a video of it it's so funny what else did i sell i sold like our coffee

machine I saw a lot of furniture it's a weird time I was so willing the thing is about that is I was so willing to help in any way I could I was just like I exhausted myself helping someone else without taking care of my own needs and I will never go back to doing that because I felt I was getting validated by like my my efforts and like what I did for a man was like I I got so much it it like kept me going I was like the more I give the better I feel which is a good like I think that's a good thing but when it gets to the point where you're like not even you're not even prioritizing your own you're not prioritizing yourself you're prior to prior to prioritizing taking care of someone else the whole your whole life it's not healthy and I didn't you know you

don't know what you don't know and you know boundary setting is very important especially the beginning of a relationship and knowing what you want and standing up for yourself and saying no to things that are not healthy or not okay and not appropriate and all those things so maybe someday I'll elaborate more on that but it's funny to look at my journal of all the shit I used to do for someone um I read a lot of positive affirmations in this journal which is kind of cool to see um ordered a u-haul truck for Saturday's move wrote what I ate that day that was weird um and seeing this car wash detail yeah I got the car detailed that's that Chevy Tahoe remember I said I was like you know what a lot of cars that I think

I should like because I want a new car um I'm just like not that into like cars most people like buying when they buy like their first new cars like or like nice cars like Audi Mercedes BMW W that type of stuff and I'm just like not into those cars but I really want a blacked a blacked out like Chevy Tahoe 2018 I don't like the new shape anyways that's a car I used to drive around and it's weird that I like doesn't make sense that I want that uh but I just yeah and in my gym there's a lot of people that drive Camaros and I'm like oh black Camaro is so hot my Camaro am I a Camaro chick? I don't know. Clean out fridge, consignment shop, plane tickets. I bought plane tickets to Pittsburgh. That's weird. CAB.

Golf. There's just so much shit in here that I like, I don't know. It's like weird to look back on my life. Um, anyways, I think this is enough for the podcast. I'm going to have some self discipline right now. I'm going to call it. I'm going to call it. Could have called it probably an hour ago, but we're going to call it right now. Sitting up. I'm going to drink my last sip of iced coffee. This is a chill day. Chill Thursday. What did I call? I haven't even mentioned that it's thick Thursday. Apparently every Thursday is thick Thursday. Um, but yeah, I hope you enjoy this episode. Um, I feel, feel really good today. I feel really connected. I feel really like in my, I feel really soul fulfilled. I don't know. I've got my cozy socks

on. We talked a lot about fall stuff today. We talked a lot about food today. I think like, yeah, we did that quiz. Um, so yeah, I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you, uh, are happy. I hope you're fulfilled. I hope your job is going well right now. I hope your family's doing well. I hope you're doing well. I hope your health's doing well. Um, I don't know. Maybe if you're not, if it's not going well maybe follow in my footsteps get yourself a call center headset plug it into your laptop and make a podcast every day I don't know can't recommend it enough I really can't so oh my gosh it's tomorrow Friday wait yeah I'll talk to you tomorrow for Friday and maybe I'll bring the energy maybe tomorrow I'll do what I said I should do before every podcast and

you know go on a brisk brisk walk and wake up um I never even considered recording the podcast at a different time of day like I just know I'm best in the morning so that's why I do it in the morning but sometimes at night when I do these live streams I'm like wait I'm so energized at night maybe I should just do a podcast at night I have like a late night late night with Jacqueline TJMS show that might be fun but um yeah so maybe tomorrow I'll bring the energy I'll do my morning brisk workout and then I'll be like hi guys welcome back to the podcast happy Friday oh my gosh it's gonna be a fun one today and I'll talk like a thousand miles an hour but I don't know I'm trying to give you guys all flavors of me you know today's more like we're chilling we're

sitting back you're just like having a good morning guys came over for coffee today we talked about fall it was a great morning and my house smells so good right now because my little candle my little apple cider candle oh it smells so good it's burning it's burning bright um so yeah I'm under here. Have a great Thursday. And I will talk to you tomorrow. I love you guys. Okay, bye.