The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 212- Sundaycast: Happy Easter!

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

Happy Easter!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

Good morning. Happy Easter. It's episode 212. Welcome back to the show. good morning happy easter hi it's jacklyn welcome back to the show uh I'm just drinking coffee chilling with my puppy I'm alone this year not to be depressing on Easter but uh I'm not I'm not at home with my family sipping mimosas eating a fabulous Easter brunch with my aunt cinnamon rolls opening my Easter basket with all the cute little things my mom bought me and the chocolates and the Reese's eggs and the fucking bunnies from sees candy, you know, like I'm not, I'm not doing that. Okay. So I'm going to make the most out of today. Honestly, it's just going to be a regular Sunday. I'm going to chill. I'm going to over

caffeinate and lay horizontal all fucking day. That's what I plan on doing for Easter to celebrate Jesus's resurrection and ascension into fucking heaven. That's, I shouldn't swear when I said that. Um, but back in the day, let me just tell a couple, a couple stories about Easter. And then the theme of today is going to be, it's selfish, okay? Today's show, the meat and potatoes of today's show has nothing to do with Easter. I'm going to revisit the random question generator website and answer a bunch of interesting questions because I just, I love doing that last night and I want to do it again this morning because it, just to like start my day off with some thought exercises and I want to like get creative with my ideas and share them with you

and answer these the question generator is really cool if you listen to the to yesterday's Q&A I used it and I don't know anyways that's going to be today's episode but I want to tell a couple Easter stories I guess just real quick I think something that stands out about my childhood and Easter was the Easter dress shopping day I went on with my grandma grandma um yeah every year we would buy she would buy me an Easter dress until I was like 12 and I think one year she even she sewed me yeah I remember one year I think she sewed one for me so we'd go to we'd go to the mall we'd go to Macy's we'd go to Sears we'd go to JCPenney those are like the three department stores in my town at the mall and uh I would try on a bunch of dresses and of course they're cutesy

with little like I don't even know like cute little patterns and flowers and little bunny rabbits and shit on them and it was so much fun I had a sailor dress one year that was really cute so that's something like specific to me and my childhood if you there's a little Easter story for you I guess the Easter dress shopping was always a big deal and then I don't know like on Easter we usually just shit like I said we sit around like now if I was home um most years I feel like we've been like since I've been grown up now in my 20s like my family is we're usually together this year we're not um but anyways we usually just like wake up drink mimosas and have a great brunch and I don't know, chill all day. It's a Sunday. It's fun. So anyways, uh, do I have

any other stories? Not really. I mean, the Easter bunny's creepy as shit. I never, I was, I was always creeped out by the Easter bunny. It wasn't, yeah, I don't know. Are there, do I have any other fun stories? I guess usually my extended family gets together and we'll have like a big Easter dinner and like my mom um my mom she's putting together that uh like the main party today for everyone she's cooking like racks of lamb and ham and all kinds of shit um she's been cooking for like the last week to prepare for it but she's hosting tonight and anyways let me just do this question thing because I just I don't know I need to drink more coffee I don't feel like I'm quite awake yet I honestly just rolled out of bed and just said fuck it I'm gonna put my headset on

I walked Jimmy and, um, he, I can tell he really wants me to play. He's jumping all over me and I didn't really play with him enough before I started recording, but whatever. Okay. Here we go. Random question generator, conversation starter starters, world.com. Let's do it. Um, is this a letdown? Did you want something different today? But it'll be fun because here's the thing. I answer questions and then I tell stories along the way. And my favorite thing to do here is storytell and think and talk about life. And I don't know. Um, Ooh, first question. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's the most amazing adventure I've ever been on? Um, I don't want to answer this one. I don't know why I'm not, I don't feel awake enough for that one yet.

who was your craziest slash most interesting teacher um oh my apple watch by the way I'm drawing blood I'm drawing blood holy shit I can't stop scratching it where's my Vaseline sorry I'm not answering this question right now but I I don't know if my wrist is too fat for my watch strap or whatever but like I think I'm allergic to the silicone I've had two apple watch bands now that have done the same thing. And I, it literally looks like my skin is being burned. It like, it's been burned by fire. And it's like, I can't describe it. It's like, um, it's super like crackly and it it's red and it, it looks infected almost. And I'm putting so much Vaseline on it right now, but, um, and it itches. I think I'm allergic to the silicone. I don't know.

Whatever. So I'm dealing with that right now. Okay. My craziest teacher, Or my most interesting was Mr. Con... Oh, I shouldn't say his last name. When I was in sixth grade, there was a teacher we all suspected was a pedophile because he got fired and there was a rumor going around my class that there was a knife and pictures of children in his closet. And I feel like that was like one kid starting that just to fuck shit up and like make a... And lie about something and get the whole class to believe it.

But once that kid said it, everyone was on board and we all had questions. We were all like, oh, yep, that all makes sense. Like, he was a creep. He was weird. But I can't confirm that. I just know he got fired and everyone – and he was also creepy. Like, we all had that sixth sense. Like, kids know if adults are good or bad.

I feel like they have that intuition better than fucking anyone. It's like they just have that, I don't know, that guiding little voice inside their head and their their gut feeling and we all were just so put off by him so I can't say his name but that was one of the craziest teachers I remember um next question let's just do a different question I could here's the thing whenever I answer questions I can go for an hour and I could keep elaborating and elaborating and elaborating but I want to make this more happy snappy Easter Easter Sunday we're gonna just roll right through this and be uh we're gonna bounce around question to question i'm a fucking bunny i don't know what

i'm saying okay next question jesus jesus has risen i can't say jesus today why is their towing truck waving me down outside is someone did someone get in a crash did i miss that okay anyways um next question what's something commonly done that gets progressively weirder the more you think about it uh two people putting their faces together and moving their mouths together is such a like a weird thing we do like hey person i like your face i just want to like stick mine on your face that's why do we do that you know what i mean like what uh like what other animals make out no other animal like i don't know uh that's kind of a weird one what is something what's progressively weirder the more you think about it

what's a common thing people do every day um why i'm not dude i'm gonna just chug this shit i'm not awake enough i've been trying to slip my sip my coffee slow slowly lately and it's it's a challenge like i just i feel like i didn't prep for the podcast with enough caffeine and i just i don't know like there are so many things that are i'm sure i could come up with 10 examples like what's something that we commonly do that would get weirder the more I think about it just filling our bodies with water every day all the time constantly drinking here's I got my liquid IV I put like a little

uh tiny little I put like a teaspoon of liquid IV in my water today because I'm out of LaCroix's and I just want that essence I want that like non-plain water taste. I want something in there. And so, yeah, we just dump water in our body every day. Why water? Why, why, you know, like I have all these questions. I just, I really hope when we die, the universe explains itself. I hope we get an explanation for everything. Like the reason why there, we chose water, uh, as a basic human need that your, your, your body's going to be mostly water the whole world is going to need water everything's water water why is that anyways I don't want to get too deep about that but like we dump our bodies full of water every day all

day long and we what was the first thing I said we put our mouths together okay next question um if you die and find out that everyone gets to choose a 12 foot by 12 foot square to stay in alone for eternity without being able to influence or contact i don't like this question i have to like choose my own 12 foot by 12 foot square what the fuck i just that doesn't make sense in my brain um what's the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house next question i mean i guess i could look back my entire life and think of every guest in my house, but I like, nothing is coming to mind right off the bat. I could, let's think about my apartments and me living on my own and

being in San Diego. Like, honestly, this isn't the question. Um, but something about me, I guess that, I don't know, this is just how I am about letting people in my house and having guests is I'm very picky about it. Especially men, like, especially like, I don't just let any guy I'm going on a date with or like hanging out with like come over to my house like almost ever like in my last apartment only like yeah two I only had and that's when I was going on a bunch of dates and shit I only had two guys I think ever come in there yeah two and each of them just came in one time so I'm very picky and like now at this new apartment like same thing I don't just like I don't know why I'm like that I just feel like it's my sacred

place I don't like it when I don't know it's not like you can just come over like whenever and you just come and I don't know I'm not I have to be like actually dating you to feel comfortable with that but um the weirdest thing okay let me think of the weirdest thing someone's done oh yeah okay speaking of the guy this isn't even weird it's just like a body language thing it was so awkward um at the apartment I said I used to live at the one one of the guys um we had gone on like two dates and then he somehow I think yeah he came over to my place and he like awkward awkwardly sat on the opposite side like I'm on the couch and he's just like off in the corner awkwardly sitting while we had the entire like the entire conversation was social distanced

at like 12 fucking feet and I'm like what it was it was so awkward I don't know that's like a weird thing someone's done in my I don't know like I can't think of anything else um anyways I'm gonna move on I had like a neighbor invite herself in one time and she just like walked around and looked at all my shit and I was just so uncomfortable by that I was like I know we're new neighbors but you don't need like why are you checking out like every little nook and cranny. Anyways, next question is, are you guys like that with guests or like having guys or girls over? I usually go to the guy's house. I'm very, I'm open to that. I just don't like having them here because I'm, I don't know. Ah, okay. Next question. If someone painted

a portrait of you. I don't, this is stupid. Oh, is it better for a person to have a broad knowledge base or a deep knowledge base? Either or. One's not better than the other. They're just different. I'd say I have a broad knowledge base. I don't know any one thing that well I mean I don't know what's something I really know well I mean myself like I know I know myself I know my life story I know how I like what what I need to do every day that uh will you know keep me going and and make my life good but like I don't know a subject that well I guess um I don't know next question I feel like one's not better than the other they're just different like I want my brain surgeons to have a deep knowledge base about the brain like I want them

to only ever all day long that's what they think about that that's what they study that's what they read about that's what they watch everything is the brain because they're a surgeon and I don't want them to fuck that up okay but for regular people out in the world like that just you know like the tow truck driver that came by earlier uh I don't care that he's a tow truck driver and knows like I don't know next question Jesus you guys get it is this fun is this a good Easter podcast I feel like I'm bombing like this is not exciting I'm just answering random questions and whatever you know what a little more coffee let's keep going with that selfishly I'm doing I'm doing this because I'm waking up stimulating my brain I'm thinking thoughts it's good for me um it's

getting my mind off the fact I'm not drinking mimosas and fucking with my like opening presents and or Easter chocolate with my family and like you know hanging out so uh whatever what's your favorite number and why next question my favorite number I'm a numbers person by the way I think I've talked about this before like I I don't know I don't know I don't even know what that means but I have, I have like a superstition about numbers. And for example, like my passcode on one of my debit cards is a birthday. I found out about someone like, like, I don't know how to explain this, but like, I just, okay. My favorite number is seven because my birthday is on the seventh of the month. And I feel like I've always liked the number seven. I love the number three.

I like the number 12 I like the number 17 I like the number 33 I like the number uh so what did I say what so yeah these are my numbers these are my numbers okay don't ask any questions I don't know why they're these numbers but just here we go so 12 so how do I start start from the bottom here 3 7 12 17 33 69 those are my favorite numbers yeah and and there's meaning behind each well is there meaning behind each one yeah kind of there's like a reason for them and some of them like this doesn't make sense this won't make sense to you but some of them go together um like like 12 could be one in two 17 could be one in seven

I don't know like my brain sees it in a certain way but like you guys don't get it okay anyways those are my favorite numbers next question what's getting worse and worse as you get older what's getting better and better as you get older okay I'm 26 and I think what's getting worse is like aging I don't know like I think uh that sounds stupid I'm still super young and everything and vital but um I think my social life is actually getting worse as I get older which I never expected or I just thought it'd be easier to make friends and like move to a new city and just like make that happen and it really isn't easy like it hasn't been

it's something I really have to work at constantly and it's I just feel like it's not what I want it to be yet and I know I have all my life to make all the friends and you know blah blah blah and And right now I'm not super hung up on it because I'm putting in so much work with myself and I'm trying to, you know, just become that good friend that I want to have myself. I just want to be a good person and, you know, whatever. But that's kind of getting hard. I guess what else is getting worse? Hangovers get worse as you get older. Like I'll have a glass of wine the next day.

I'm fully fucking hungover. like headaches brain fog I just want to nap all day like it's bad I and that's sad like I and I I guess it's because I have a low I have a low tolerance but um also like working out and like seeing results isn't is I don't know that's also because my diet is kind of that's all based on diet it's not based off like age I guess um what's getting better as you get older oh this is so easy for me for me to answer liking myself and just owning who I am is getting better as I get older like giving less of a shit every year it's like every consecutive year I give less of a shit about things I used to worry about and that feels so amazing and I wish I could it's just life but

my younger self was hung up on so many little things that didn't matter and I have what is it called hindsight now or whatever I can like see see how much of a hindrance that was in my life after the fact but um yeah I guess as I get older that gets better and better and better and I just like I feel like I like life I do I like life more now because of that um it's just more enjoyable and more relaxing to not be in your head all day and to not be hung up on things that don't matter all day. You know, you can just like fuck around and have fun. Okay. Next question. Um, what songs have you completely mesmerized? Ooh. Um, I'm going to try to do this without looking at my Spotify.

What songs have me completely memorized? I'm thinking of lyrics. Dude. When, uh, drake said yeah i heard you good with them soft lips yeah you know word of mouth the square root of 69 is eight something a t e because i've been trying to work it out oh good weed white wine you know that that's uh that's a great a great song that had me completely memorized once i put that together in my brain like eight something square root of 69 is eight okay I mean any little Wayne lyric honestly life is a beach I'm just playing in the sand like so many rap lyrics have me memorized because of the uh the picture they paint that's in the way they make so much sense and it's like literally six words um what's another song that has me memorized I guess

there's like a lot of EDM dubstep songs with really cool sounds that might have me memorized um should I end this episode am I coming to a close here I feel like it's I feel you know this sucks because I'm like it's Easter I'm not bringing it but I just feel like I should the question the Q&A generator is kind of fucking boring I don't know I feel bored I feel like I'm being boring but I'm having fun I'm personally having fun answering these but it's uh I don't know they're kind of some of these questions are kind of stupid i wish i had more songs in my head to come up like to tell you guys i mean i think of all of the like classic rock songs i listened to back in the day like fucking one by metallica i feel like the only reason that song has been

memorized is because of guitar hero and how difficult it was to play it on expert mode but like I don't know the sound of it's really cool too anyways um what is next question what is something you learned recently that you really should have already known oh dude get out of your head bitch I wish I already knew that I wish I knew that thinking is ruining your life like your mind is like your thoughts are literally making you're digging your you're making your life a living hell and you're doing it to yourself I wish I learned that when I was younger that every like you're I don't know how to explain it but I had that epiphany in 2020 it was one of my biggest lessons that that like I'm doing I'm

doing it to myself all of this depression stuff all of this low self-esteem stuff this insecurity stuff this blah blah blah blah it's I'm doing it to myself I don't need to do it I don't need to think these thoughts and and believe them so I wish I learned that when I was younger but I'm glad I finally figured it out um so yeah teach that teach that to your five-year-olds teach I guess or when you're I guess I could have it would have been helpful to have learned that in like when I was like 16, when I started having depressed, depressed, depressive. I don't know. It was like when I was like a teenager, angsty teen aged like 13, 14, 15. I don't know. I kind of wish I knew that. And I probably wouldn't be as insecure and, you know, sad all

the time. Um, who in your life brings you the most joy? I have to pick. Oh fuck. I mean, obviously my puppy, Jimmy. Um, I, I, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just going to pick him because I can't pick a family member. I can't single someone out. Like certain family members bring me joy for different, my brother, honestly, he, I just feel like we have this telepathy thing or we just like get each other really hard. It's like a really cool connection we have. Like he makes me really happy when I'm around him it's mostly like when we have discussions and we talk things out like that I my sanity requires the like us to do that super late at night or whatever like whenever we get together for the holidays like it's like our yearly check-ins we have with each other he makes

that makes me so happy like he's my rock like that I need that uh to feel okay and like we call each other on the phone a lot we talk we talk shit out but um anyways I'd say my puppy though to answer that question I have no stopping limit on this episode like I could answer five more I can answer two more um what's the most unpleasant sounding word everyone says moist I don't hate it I don't love it um I feel like I make a lot of words sound unpleasant like I can't say like I suck saying certain words and I just feel insecure about like the sound of my voice um what's oh fuck what's like a bad like a I can't think of anything I'm gonna just say moist because everyone thinks that

if you were a ghost and you could possess people what would you make them do I don't want to do that one should taxpayers have the option to explicitly say what they don't want Okay, I don't want to do that one either. I think I'm done with this episode. I'm going to wrap it. You know what? Just trailed off at the end there. I'm over it.

Sorry. That's the best I could do for the celebration of Christ's resurrection. Like, that's the best I could do. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Should I just pray now? Bust my rosary out? We used to have to pray. so we do the

stations of the cross and we'd have to say I think we'd have to do a prayer at each station back in Catholic school and we'd have our rosaries it was like a whole thing and it took so long or we'd do the rosary in class and that took like two hours

and you'd say what was it ten Hail Marys to our fathers is that how you pray the rosary ten Hail Mary's five Our Fathers

one Our Father Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee blessed art thou among women blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners oh the Lord is good to me and so I thank the Lord for giving me the things I need the sun and the rain and the apple

see the Lord is good to me let us eat okay this episode's done um happy Easter if you celebrate. Happy Sunday. I hope you had a great weekend. I hope it's going well. Um, I did my best. I'm going to post it. I podcast every day. It is what it is. You know what I mean? Like, Hey, sometimes it's a flop. And I feel like today it was in honor of floppy bunny ears because of the bunny rabbits and the Easter bunny. I flopped, uh, in honor of this day.

What am I saying? Like, there's an example, like Jacqueline, close your mouth. You can't keep podcasting you can't keep trailing this on um I got excited last night when I did that Q&A generator and then I thought oh I'd like to do it again this morning and you know think thoughts and whatever but honestly I should have just I don't know I could have told I could have told a thousand Easter stories and like talked about Jesus and all the great Jesus movies like the Passion of the Christ and anyways I watched so many Jesus movies growing up like we would play You know, when the teachers would bring in, you'd have, like, the movie day or whatever. We'd have, like, religious-themed movies on the TV.

It's like that TV they rolled in on the stand with wheels. You know, like, everyone knows in elementary school what that TV is. And then, anyways, so, whatever. I'm excited for this week. It's going to be a good one. Here's your Monday motivation. Motivation is Jesus Christ rose from the dead and you can too, okay?

We're all going to heaven. Don't let anyone tell you you're going to hell. You're going to heaven. I just did your Monday motivation on a Sunday because you know what? Time is an illusion. It's not real. It's fucking Monday.

It's already Saturday, okay? Jacqueline, quit. Stop podcasting. Just end this. Okay, hit that subscribe button. I'll be here every single day this week. I'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to become a subscriber

to my extra content each month my patrons get shout outs they get phone calls they get behind the scenes videos that no one else sees that i don't post on instagram so check it out at patreon.com slash tjms all right thanks for uh being here is anyone still listening whatever I don't need to ask these questions Jacqueline on the episode thank you for being here I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you tomorrow bye