The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 219- Looking Hot At Costco

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

Hey guys, happy Sunday. It's episode 219. Welcome back to the show. good evening welcome back to the show it's Jacqueline I'm filling a wine glass with some sparkling water thought I'd set the moon for everyone tonight I don't know this is gonna be a Sunday night episode a little weekend recap episode honestly I'm just gonna talk about Costco today I'm gonna talk about going to Costco today um I don't know I just got done eating dinner I did yoga earlier I watched the masters um um I don't know it was a great weekend so let me take a sip I'm drinking uh an it's called aha sparkling water and a subscriber excuse me Jesus

patreon.com slash tjms if you want to subscribe to my exclusive content that's not what I mean but I what I meant to say is one of my Instagram followers DM me he's like a OG person I feel like he's followed me since like college. I feel like there's a group of people that have followed me since I used to Snapchat and make stories all day long and talk to the camera. And I was vegan. And I like, it was a long time ago and I feel like they've stayed with me ever since then. And it's kind of cool. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like everyone, I don't know if you're like a content creator, if you're a, I don't want to say influencer, but like if you're kind of like an influencer. I feel like we all have that group of people that are always in our DMs. They're

always interacting with our stuff. They hype us up. They make us feel good about what we're doing. I don't know. They like talk to us and shit. Anyways, he put me onto these sparkling waters called AHA. And I don't know how else to say it. AHA. It's A-H-A. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that these are better than LaCroix's. I feel like, I don't know, they're like, it tastes like, there's something juicier about these, like more flavorful anyways. That's what I'm doing. What was I going to say? Talk about Costco. Oh yeah. So I, okay, where do I want to start? Ah, how are you doing? How was your weekend? Enough about me, Jesus. I got to recognize the audience right now. How's everybody doing tonight? What's up? What's up, San Diego?

Imagine me like doing this shit live. I'm so bombing right now. Okay, so I woke up with butterflies in my tummy because I planned on going to Costco today alone for the first time with my own Costco card and my own free will to buy whatever the fuck I want or whatever. I didn't have my mom with me this time. See, here's the deal. Here's the deal. My mom hooked me up and added me to her. She like added me to her Costco membership account or whatever. She could add another person. So technically she's footing the bill for this, but I mean, I'm paying for my own Costco supplies, my own food. But anyway, she hooked me up with a card. She's like, Jacqueline don't you want to go to Costco like don't you want a car I'm like sure I just I get

overwhelmed a little bit I'm like well I don't really need one because I'm just a single person in my own apartment like I don't need bulk-sized shit um anyways long story short I got excited to wake up today and go there and I had like four things on my list I really needed and so there's just there's just like a lot to unpack here um and I have some embarrassing things to tell you I feel like I'm ending the day realizing that I reverted back to my insecure 20 year old or like 18 19 20 20 year old early 20s self today college self while I was at Costco I like something happened I don't know I like switch back in time mentally spiritually emotionally and it all started when I fucking picked out my outfit to go to Costco so here here's the plan

here was the plan today wake up go to Costco right it opens at 10 I thought you know I want to get there right when it opens because I know it's going to be busy on Sunday so that didn't happen not even it didn't even get close to happening I didn't get to Costco till like noon and okay this is this is embarrassing but I got in my head about my outfit I got in my head about looking cute because I know there's hot people at Costco and I got so in my head about it I kept changing my outfit I think I I ended up with a pile on my floor of clothes and I kept getting more and more and more frustrated every single time I put something on I felt I just I felt ugly. I felt frumpy. I was like, do I wear jeans? Do I wear yoga pants? Oh, these ones make

me look, uh, chunky. I want the other ones that like make my butt look lifted. Okay. So I put those on and I'm like, no, I want jeans. And then I flip flopped. And then I'm like, okay, do I wear baggy sweats? And I do like a sweat fit, but that's too casual. Like, do I, I don't know. And I'm like hat, no hat. I'm going to have a mask on. No one's going to be able to see my face. So I don't want to wear the hat. Uh, do I wear the cropped hoodie or do I wear a crop top? Do I wear like literally I was so in my head about my fucking outfit and I never do this anymore my biggest something I like to pride myself on or like Jesus Jacqueline take a sip of the no this is not a very interesting story I'm just letting you know what happened okay because I honestly

haven't felt this messy and just chaotic in my brain about how I look in public in a very long time. I pride myself where I'm like really good at seeing the vision, seeing the outfit I want to wear in my brain and putting it on and only changing like maybe maximum two times. Like maybe I'll switch up my top, but I'll keep the bottoms. Like I know, I know it before I put it on, like what I want to look like, what I want to wear and I stick with it. So I think I just got super frustrated and I was like, well, I'm five outfits in. I might as well keep going. I might as well keep trying on all my clothes and it was it was a big fat letdown when I put on my jeans I was like god damn it I'm so close to fitting in these but they don't fit quite right yet and

that's been annoying um and I'm also really pissed off at myself that because I'm a high achieving I feel like I'm a high achieving person I'm I'm ambitious I go after I get after it um you know I'm kind of a health nut in my own way I don't really talk about it really I I feel like I don't know I live like a healthy lifestyle and I like take care of my body and shit but I was one of those people and I'm not proud of this who let them let their let themselves go in 2020 straight up like I gained so much fucking weight okay I'm so dramatic like straight up like I've told you guys this before um I'm obviously like working on getting back in just amazing shape again it's kind of my like 2021 goal right now but um yeah I let myself and I'm just like putting on my jeans

this morning I'm like god damn it so I ended up wearing yoga pants and then I wore a really cute so the top I ended up going with was a cropped um because my abs have been looking nice since since I do yoga every day the yoga really makes my abs look good um why am I even talking about this this again this seems like a boring ass story but I just gotta tell you what the end result was I wore a fucking uh low bun yeah low bun lulus just like plain black tennis shoes a really cool gold cool gold ankle bracelet because I was like that's kind of sexy if a man sees my feet, he'll be like, oh shit, she's beach ready. Look at those feet. Um, in my yoga pants and tennis shoes, there's just like a sexy ankle bracelet on. Okay. Anyways,

I was thinking, I was thinking about every detail. I was so in my head about how other people were going to perceive me in public today. And that's what I mean about, that's what I mean by, um, the whole, like I reverted back to my insecure younger self today. Cause this is so not me now um oh the top so I wore a cropped gray quarter zip uh sweatshirt thing with kind of like puffy sleeves on the end it was really cute it looked good together low bun mask you know I put on I like did my eye makeup for the first time forever um what else do I have on I did like a pink a pink scrunchie on my wrist you know why is it hot when girls wear scrunchies on their wrist I think it I don't even think girls are I mean I do but I'm not okay you know what I mean I think

girls are beautiful I appreciate other women other beautiful women but I feel like it's a I feel like all the bad bitches wear the scrunchie on their wrist I don't know I think it's I do it I mean I consider myself one of those people I do it and I feel hot as soon as I put that on I'm like this is bad bitch energy I'm gonna have a great day oh my god guys it gets worse so speaking of being in my head about my outfit I got really anxious when I was driving to Costco I was blasting trap music and shit like I was but I was like pretending I was like I was literally envisioning I'm like I feel like I'm this is so embarrassing I like catwalked into Costco I had my airpods in listening to all of my workout music feel I was like sticking my ass out trying

to suck it in and look hot and I'm like I couldn't snap myself out of it like I couldn't because most of the time now I don't even because it's something I've completely grown out of is like worrying what other people think about me in public and shit like how people are looking at me but like today it was it was full force and I feel so gross about it and so like embarrassed about that I'm like I'm literally consciously trying to look hot as I walk through Costco and push my cart. And then I'd say, because you know what, here's the thing. I think it was my subconscious or it was like my inner, I don't know. I, I think my, my inner, um, I don't know what to, I don't know, instincts or whatever. We're like, Hey, this is Costco. It's Sunday.

There are potential mates there and you will put your tits and ass out and carry yourself in a hot way today at you will not look frumpy you will not act frumpy you will not slouch tits and ass out chin up shoulders back you never know when you're like I feel like it was my instincts like I couldn't override it my brain was just so sold on like being that bitch at Costco today and I literally like if anyone saw me I would look like any other regular person no one's looking at you at Costco really like really I mean I'll say this though because of the masks and this is anywhere in public now uh stupid fucking masks that apparently we're gonna still have to wear after June 15th when like the uh economy or whatever opens up in California it's like the

official opening day of California we're still gonna have to wear the fucking masks the buffoonery of that the buffoonery a word I have not said ever on the podcast of that even the people that are vaccinated have to it's just it's bullshit so anyways back to what I was saying about the masks and being in public like it's just eye sex with everyone now that's what it is and so I did make some eye contact I did see some attractive people but you know for the most part I was in there to get my puppy food and my bitchin' sauce. Puppy food, I have a list here. I wrote this, I actually wrote this on the podcast with you guys a couple days ago. Yeah, puppy food, bitchin' sauce, kimchi, pesto, Romano cheese,

and liquid IV. Oh, and the protein bars I got there. I'm obsessed with liquid IV right now because I do uh I basically do hot yoga every day now because I it's a who cares Jacqueline who gives a fuck basically I got a humidifier for my my room and it makes the the air really heavy and thick and like dewy and then I go hard in the paint on my mat and I do a hard workout and then it's all it's like a combination of that and then I don't know I don't have I don't have an actual heater that's the next step that I've been considering I'm like what if I got a heater this place would turn into a fucking sauna and that would be so I would feel so good so the liquid IV that back to that is so clutch when I'm dripping sweat and I'm just like so

exhausted from the yoga and I just need like a sip of something and I feel I feel like it makes me feel good like I notice it and maybe it's placebo I don't know I hear all these ads on podcast, liquid IV sponsored, uh, this episode of the Joe Rogan experience is sponsored by liquid IV or like, you know, whatever it is, everyone promotes liquid IV. And I believe in that cellular transport technology or whatever the fuck I'm like, this is making me actually hydrated. I believe what they're selling. I believe that slogan cellular, what is it? Cellular transport technology. I guess when it dissolves in the water anyways. Uh, so I got some of that. I got a new flavor and I'm kind of pissed. I didn't get the other flavor. Um, I got the

strawberry and I, the one I had before was the tangerine with the immunity boost in it. And I feel like that one tasted better, but whatever. Um, was I just going down my list? Oh yeah. Bitch and sauce. I like getting it at Costco because it's, it's like a big size of it and I use it with everything. It's like, it's that almond dip. Have you guys ever had it? It's, it's sold at a lot of like health food stores, like Whole Foods, um, like Jimbo's if you're here in San Diego. And it's, it's usually in small containers, but at Costco it's in a big one and it's like $8. And it's just like such a good buy. That's what I love about Costco. It's such a good buy. Everything's a good buy. I'm sucked in. I love Costco. And you know what? It's unnecessary for me to go there

every week because I can't bust through food that fast but like I might just do it for the Disneyland experience that Costco is like it is set up you are so I watched a documentary on Costco like a month ago and it broke down how they designed the store to basically make it a three-hour shopping experience or it's meant to like you pave your own way at Costco you are the captain you're the captain of your own ship no aisle is labeled everything is there's sections that you can always rely on going to for certain types of items but there's always a new product that you gotta have or like it's cheap as fuck so you gotta buy it then and like what was I looking at today I was like oh I need that and I don't need it um I was like it's such a good buy

I feel I felt like such a Karen just like I was reading all the the the I was like looking at all the products especially in like the home section what was I looking at it's probably it was like a Brita a fucking like water filter which I don't need I have one and I'm like it's so cheap and it's such a good buy I was like oh my god I should just get it because it's such a good buy anyways um so yeah choose your own journey I think that's what I meant to say Costco so yeah I might just keep going back for the experience and you know I'll say this I got so after changing 10 times and mirror checking that's another thing I've this is what I've

concluded and I hope this helps someone out there because I've identified that this was an area in my life that needed to change. I've concluded that it is such a waste of life and mental just strain to constantly check yourself out in the mirror and like look at what you're, how you look and you're in every angle and like using the mirror to hold up to see how you look from the back and like constantly checking your outfit and your abs and like constantly body checking all day it's like a waste of life and that's what I mean when I say like I put on an outfit and I own it and I'm like okay outfit on time to do hair and makeup boom out the door and I feel like it's more efficient I'm not in my head about my appearance too much and

easy for you to say easy for you to say uh conventionally attractive white girl I don't know dude I'm just saying like it's a waste of life doesn't it feel like it don't you ever get do you ever get in those moments where you're um how full of myself was that I need to take a drink I'm just saying some people have it easier than others some people do I get it I'm self-aware I get it but um still sounds like I'm full of myself and the way I look Jesus Christ Jacqueline reel it back um what was I saying uh yeah but today I realized after changing so many times. I'm like, this is what I used to do all the time. And I would like, I'd have piles of clothes and I'd be, I'd just be a mess in my brain about my appearance. And I would hate every

outfit. I'd be like, I like, like stupid in this outfit. I like stupid in that. And I never liked it. And so now I just fucking own it and I feel better and I feel like I'm more confident because of it. And I, I don't know, like, I don't know. Did I help anyone? Did I, did I, what advice is that? Oh, pick an outfit, stop body checking, stop looking in the mirror a thousand times a day and live your life. Like get out of your head about how you look. Nobody. And I think, yeah. Um, I think confidence comes from like how you portray yourself, like the energy you put out there. is so much that it makes you so much hotter than an outfit could ever do. Like I don't know how to explain it. Like you can have a basic tee and jeans on and some converse and just like a simple

outfit and be so charismatic and so outgoing and so fun to be around because of your personality and the energy you put out that it doesn't matter that you're in a t-shirt and jeans and something basic, you know, like you could be wearing no makeup and your hair in a bun, but you're that fun person. Everyone likes your energy. And that's why I feel like more important. And so I've tried to, I've tried to refocus myself and think about that a little bit more because, um, I don't remember people buy their fucking outfits, you know, sometimes I do. I don't know. I mean, I do give a shit about my appearance, my outfits, but I just like, I don't know. I'm at the point now where I've, I've dressed myself so many times. I just know it looks good. I pick it out and I go

with it. End of story. Um, so yeah, cause there's nothing worse than wearing an outfit and you've changed 25 times. I'm still going on this tangent. I don't care. There's nothing worse than like changing 15 times and really not really liking any outfit. And then finally coming up with something last minute cause you have to leave. And then the whole time you're out, you hate your outfit and you're insecure about it and you're in your head about your appearance and you're not being confident, that's the worst case scenario, and that sucks, so, Jesus, okay, back to Costco, so embarrassing, I mean, headphones in, I'm listening, let me pull up my playlist, Jesus, summer 2021, I, like, already made my summer playlist,

um hotel room service pit bull run this town jay-z rihanna kanye west back to basics frito freddo fred frito i don't know do the most tori lanes wants and needs featuring little baby drake just so many oh my god fucking whoopty how does that go CJ I mean Tyler Hero Jack Harlow I'm upset guys Jack Harlow pulling up my little heartstrings that kid I'm telling me he's younger I can call him a kid right he's about 22 pulling up my little heartstrings he's like the new Harry Styles I feel like for girls like how obsessed all the girls were with One Direction Harry like he's now that I just feel it I don't know he's not he's he's not in like a boy band but um he just exudes hot energy and I don't know what it is

maybe I should break it down would it be helpful if I broke down Tyler excuse me that's his um song name Tyler Hero's a basketball player they took a picture and he gave him his jersey did anyone see that does anyone follow him or like him okay anyways I could break down Jack Harlow's hot energy to help the dudes right now so first of all he's hot ugly or he's ugly hot yeah there's a difference there's like hot ugly and ugly hot and then there's hot hot it's a science and it's a energy thing like your aura and your physical features combined make you one of those three things and this episode is sponsored by tiktok this episode is sponsored by dating and relationship TikTok that I found I found

myself on and this is like a thing girls break down on TikTok and they they'll post like different guys and like different celebrities and athletes and shit and they're like he's hot hot he's hot ugly he's ugly hot and it kind of has to do with like how your eyes look like if they're close together maybe I don't know how to explain it maybe you have like a great jawline but your eyes are a little close too close together and I have some crooked teeth like that'd be ugly hot because you're still hot but it's like you're not conventionally hot you're not like hot hot with like I don't know like a great set of brows and hairline and like striking eyes and like you

are like I don't know how to explain it like in my eyes hot hot is Channing Tatum hot ugly is oh what's a good hot ugly example um okay oh he has a story right now speaking of Channing Tatum so yeah he's hot hot hot ugly is fuck oh hot ugly is Brad Pitt right does that make sense in my head Brad Pitt yeah he's hot ugly to me and then Jack Harlow would be like ugly hot it makes sense it it makes sense I does it not I don't know I don't know how to explain it is Brad Pitt a good example for uh hot ugly or maybe Matt Damon god I dated a guy that looked just like Matt Damon it's such so fucking weird Matt Damon

is he ugly hot though I feel like Matt Damon's ugly hot god now I'm looking at rant these are like weird examples what's a better example for hot ugly I'm just gonna go with it but Jack Harlow's ugly ugly hot I was gonna break down his hot energy I'm literally it was like tonight I'm gonna talk about my Costco trip today and drink sparkling sparkling water and now I'm breaking down Jack Harlow so it's like okay I'm pulling up a picture he posted on let me think like March dude him and Chris Brown in that music video

oh god what does he remind me of it's kind of like Mac Miller I don't know it's not Mac Miller R.I.P. but Jesus um he just has this hot stare I think I think it's just a hot stare yeah it kind of like cocks his chin up and that's hot I feel I feel like that's the only thing the only thing that makes him hot to me is his chin up and his stare it's very um sexy you know it's it's very um like it pulls you in like he knows he knows what he's doing like he knows what he's doing I feel like guys that are hot they know how to look I don't know how to explain it they know it's like they they fucking smirk and shit because they know they're hot and they like know what they're doing with their face

and how they move it I don't know how to explain it you either got that or you don't and it's a swagger I feel like that's it's like an energy thing it's an aura and then also like his style is kind of cool he's maybe it's because he's from Louisiana or no fucking Louisiana Louisville Kentucky and that's kind of hot and I don't know why that just makes it I don't know he's not from like a common place that rappers are from I don't know yeah he's he's pulling my little heart strings my little 26 year old heart strings I don't know how to explain it where's like another how else could I break it down to be helpful here I mean it's not like I love the hair it's not like I love the curly long hair the shaggy hair I don't like love his style either he just

has like a hot like um what's it called stare do you have the Chris Brown music video he kind of moves cool too like the way he moves is kind of cool okay moving on Jesus um should I break down Channing Tatum or is that kind of just like obvious like duh just like hot you guys even guys know that and he's 40 but he's divorced now right or yeah he posted he posted a nice mirror selfie little Saturday grind session damn son this is what boys do you know what I'm just being a boy I'm being a boy scrolling on Instagram looking at hot girls except I'm looking at hot boys deal with it this is what it's like to be a girl and like like and I've I love being around guys when they're on Instagram looking at girls I just

like love watching their like their process and they're zooming in and there's tap they're liking and like it's kind of fun and then I love asking questions like you know and I like breaking down their brains and figuring out what they what they're into and I'm trying to provide that for for them for the boys today um yeah I think I like back to what I was saying though about confidence and shit it's like an energy like it's all about your energy and I will keep preaching this until the cows come home move slow move slow speaking of trying to look hot and stick my tits and ass out in Costco today. People were passing me. People were like pissed I was going too slow. And I'm like, that is hot. The hottest people move slow. And I,

I'm, I'm actively trying to move slower to smell the roses first of all, and just like be more present. It makes me feel more present. If I'm always in a hurry and moving skittishly and fast, I feel like I'm not really enjoying my life experience. So first and foremost, it's for that Second and foremost, if that's even a phrase, it's about, oh, she's cool, and she's chilled out, and she's calm, and at ease, and she looks like she's confident, because she doesn't, she's not making fast movements, it looks like I can trust her, something went down in here, she looks like a person I could use as like a, I could like pull into my corner for self-defense, I'm not like the weak link that's like a little fucking flea okay back to confidence and not feeling confident though let's talk about not feeling confident at Costco nothing makes me feel more um in my head and insecure and embarrassed than browsing the alcohol section and it's so fucked up because like I don't really drink much like here and there I'll have a glass

of wine like you know every like once a month I'll buy myself a bottle I think that's kind of my average and then I'll like have a glass of wine on the weekends and shit and then I think I told you guys how I want to start my whiskey collection and yeah you know like I want to start that and like build it up and just have a bunch of options here for people when I entertain uh when I entertain friends and shit I want to have like a I want to have a bar cart I want to have a whole like setup and start collecting whiskey specifically um there's a whole backstory to that. If you're like, if you're like, okay, uh, wow, Jacqueline, you're, you're so chill and like, you're so quirky and different and you're not like other girls cause you drink whiskey and

like, you're just like one of the boys. No, it's not like that. There's a backstory. Um, yeah, I just have a, I have a vision and a plan. So with that being said, I was in the, I was, I was in the whiskey section of Costco and it's just out middle of nowhere and no man's land right in the middle of the store. And yeah, I get really insecure. I'm like, does this make me look like an alcoholic? Like, because I didn't buy anything. That's what I got really in my head about. This is what made me feel really young and insecure again. I was just looking at alcohol, looking at the bottles, looking at the cool whiskey they had. And I was like, I wasn't buying it. I wasn't picking it up. I was just like looking at it. And yeah,

I couldn't pull the trigger on anything. I was like, I don't really, I don't know. I just want to get my four items and get out of here I don't need to buy extra shit so yeah I like didn't I like didn't and I was like if anyone saw me just looking I would be like they're probably like oh she's trying to get clean or she's like trying to cut back and she doesn't she's like she wants it because she was looking at it but she can't have it because she's sober now you know what I mean like I literally thought that I literally thought that the good news is with age comes wisdom okay so I'm kind of having fun reflecting on my behavior today and I'm being light-hearted about it about how like in my head and try hard I was at fucking Costco because of like worrying about

other people are thinking about me I'm being playful about it because now that I'm older I catch myself and I snap out of it instantly like as soon as this even starts now like I do I'm not 100% confident I'm not 100% like you know no one is really I feel like everyone has those days but now I snap out of it quick like almost immediately I'm like oh these are those stupid thoughts that don't help me they're useless and I choose not to I don't I don't have them anymore I choose to like tell them to fuck off and I just like live my life and I'm like I own my I own myself and I'm like this is you bitch who cares what other people think you know it's a waste of life and a waste of time to be in your head and and be insecure about you that doesn't matter

anyways so that's kind of what I'm doing I'm reflecting on myself basically in the past resurfacing today and how fucking stupid it was so yeah I'm in the alcohol section of my head I'm all over the store in my head um you know I caught someone staring in the fruit section um okay two guys were being creepers kind of um well one of them was pushing a cart with a baby in it and just like fucking turned his head if you know what I mean like like I'm just I'm like going down the aisle he's coming the opposite direction and I just like felt his eyes as we're going side by side directly on me like his neck was at a full-on fucking one he did a 180 or whatever it swiveled to right over to me and um we kept like passing each other you know how like

you keep going up and down the aisles we kept going the opposite direction it was just like a whole thing and um he had a baby in the cart so i was like okay what's happening here um and the other guy was kind of he was standing over by the mangoes and like the fruit section and i don't know just caught him staring it was kind of like whoa is that flattering or am i creeped out i don't know so do you guys care about this like who gives a fuck jimmy please don't eat that he he picks up these wood chips he does it in secret like I already know we're gonna have a problem when he gets older he's gonna have shit in his mouth and I won't be able to tell it's in there because he's gonna hide it really good with his big ass floppy cheeks and he's gonna fucking eat something that's

gonna kill him like I caught him eating a lighter today he's chewing on my lighter for my candles candles okay my lighter for my candles fuck so I'm not an alcoholic and I'm not a stoner just to clear that up today okay I'm overselling because I feel like I don't know um yeah I haven't smoked in like since Christmas what the fuck I don't know it's so weird how I I feel like it go in phases yeah and by phases I mean like I'll smoke like three times a month for a month and then I won't smoke for six months I don't know it's weird but um yeah he sneaks these wood chips in his mouth that are dyed I feel like they put paint on them to make the bark look nicer and then it's like beauty bark or whatever he was just chewing on one of those where was I at in the

story um I don't know like that's kind of what I did today I picked up my items I felt great I was like I have a Costco card I can do this now I'm a big girl I'm a grown-up um I don't know what else to say about Costco just like I think what made it made it worse was I was like anxious into my head because I had music on and like the music was making me feel some type of way and I was like vibing out to it in my head and I was like I feel like I'm on a runway and I'm pushing my card and everyone here is hot and I'm just like you know I don't know now my the change I've made so the contrast to that or like the difference of in how I act now in public is not only do I move slower okay that's something I told you but I make a point whenever I walk in anywhere like

in a grocery store if I'm out on the sidewalk passing my neighbors if I'm wherever I'm at the post office I'm out at any store restaurant whatever I make a point to connect with people in the eyes and like make eye contact and acknowledge people's existence and that's something I've actively tried to change about myself or like I try to do now because I don't know how to explain it I just feel like because of phones and everyone's like short attention span no one's like connected anymore and it feels like life life feels shittier now honestly because of that especially in in when you're in person with um strangers so that's a change I've made and all of those insecure thoughts I had today the outfit the way I looked the way I was acting

the way I carried myself all those thoughts like don't exist anymore I just literally like I don't even, I just am relaxed in my brain now. And I'm like, I'm in the moment. Here I am. I just want to interact with people and like make a connection. And the new mantra I say to myself, because I feel like I legit had social anxiety coming out of 2020. And I've noticed like, this is my new mantra to just like help me. It's so fucked up how that happened to me. Like I get nervous about being in public and interacting with people now like I never have before and my new mantra is everyone has been my friend we're we're lifelong friends I've known you for years and I and I interact with them as if we're good friends and it makes me more relaxed like I said and I I feel more

willing to be open and um like yeah like social with people that are especially strangers and shit. I don't know how to explain it. Is that, is that weird? It's helping me. I just see someone like walk down the street. I'm like, Oh my God, uh, Rachel. Oh my God, Rachel. I know you. Oh my God. We went to school together. I just pretend. I just make the shit up in my head to make myself feel at ease. Cause some people like you, there's a difference. I feel like there's those people in public. Um, especially here down in the city where I live, like they have their hats on their air pods in their heads down they're just like getting through the day and they're in a hurry they're running around real quick and it's like they don't really want to fucking talk to anyone

or be you know and I get it like I have those days too I'm not always like this so there's those people and it just like I said it just feels like no one's really no one really talks to each other anymore no one's like stopping to smell the roses that's why I like the old people in my neighborhood they'll talk to me for we'll just sit and talk for like 20 minutes and I'm like this was the best part of my day they're old and you know they'll ramble on and it's kind of sometimes annoying because I can't break away I'm just like oh my god they're talking in circles and they're repeating themselves but it's refreshing as fuck and I wish younger people I wish like I don't know I just want to be friends I'm literally my dog I want to be I'm a I'm a

fucking golden retriever puppy and I want to be friends with everyone it's obnoxious like you guys I don't know if you witness me in public like this might make me sound insane but just like it's a it's so different than how he acted at Costco honestly what the fuck it's so weird how that happened am I insane am I do I need to get my head checked old patterns resurface Jacqueline stop just just let this release this who cares it was just a day It was just a moment. It was you at Costco by yourself for the first time. Okay. Get over it. So anyways, all right. Happy Sunday. I guess there's nothing much, there's nothing more to say other than I did yoga. I make, I made a steak for dinner. I make my Sunday steak. I don't know.

It's like, it's my new thing. I make it in a cast iron skillet, just like Gordon, Gordon Ramsey taught me and i i use really coarse ground pepper and coarse salt that's my secret it's like not even a secret but it makes it so good and then yeah i just like chilled i watched the real housewives they're responsible for me drinking this um water in a wine glass i remember when i like i don't know eight years ago when i started watching that show i noticed how they all like drank water and wine glasses. I was like, what's that? What's going on there? That's like nice, right? Like just like looks like a good time. And so now I do it. Um, so yeah, I just like watch that in my dinner, walk Jimmy, did yoga, went to Costco, watch the masters. What's the name of the guy

that one. Let me look it up. Masters. I like forget how to say it. Masters 2021. It's like a hard last name to say. Hideki. Matsuyama. Matsuyama. Matsuyama. Oh God. I'm not trying to say that with an accent. I'm just trying to sound it out. And he's Asian. This is not a good this is not good timing for me to try to pronounce okay you get what I'm saying Matsuyama quiet star makes a loud statement for his nation and for himself yeah I just kind of had it on I wasn't really paying I don't know so I usually pay close attention to the to the masters but I didn't really do this this weekend I like watched it I like watch clips on Instagram it's like pretty much how I caught it I kept up with it all right so that's the

episode happy Sunday um I gotta god damn it this always happens I podcast then I realize I still need to shower and like wash my hair and like shave and so much to do it's such a job being a girl sometimes like I'm like I love it don't get me wrong like while I'm showering I'm like I love this it's so refreshing it's so like calming and soothing and my water is super hot and I just feel like I don't know I'm zoned out at that point and I I zone out to like the effort I'm putting into like making myself like slicked and cleaned but um I feel like I push myself past the point of tiredness to shower so often that it's probably affecting my health or it's like not good for my sleep schedule because I'll realize it'll be like 10 30 p.m 11 and I'm like

I'm so fucking tired I just want to start like winding down and going to bed and then I'm like oh I gotta shower or I'll take like a midnight shower it'll be like 11 30 and I need to go to bed I'm like oh fuck but I always I never regret a shower that's the thing I never regret a shower before bed and I I like I'm willing to like like push through the tiredness and suck it up to be clean. And like, there's nothing better than being clean when you go to bed. Like I, even if I shower in the morning, I shower at night just for that reason. So anyways, and I'm also kind of OCD about people in my bed, like clean, you gotta be clean. Gotta be clean. Okay. So that's what I'm about to do and go to bed. Um, happy Sunday, hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week

and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get access to my extra content if seven days a week podcasting isn't enough for you if following following me on instagram isn't enough for you you get it uh there's more but wait there's more on patreon.com slash tjms my patrons get a shout out every shout out every friday and they get phone calls from me you literally get my phone number check it out patreon.com slash tjms all right that's it have a great day and i will talk to you tomorrow bye