The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 22- Sexy Intro Music

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

It's Friday! Here's a podcast. BIG THANK YOU to my brother Robert for letting me use his music for the show. He made this song last year when we were in Vegas together and it's really special to me. I love you guys. Have a great day!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic 

Episode 22. Welcome back to the podcast. what's up everyone happy friday happy friday happy freaky Friday happy wait what's my Friday title or my Friday theme I don't know um anyways it's Friday I'm feeling like today's gonna be another chill episode but I'm faking it right now I'm trying to like push through my like calm vibe I have right now and I'm trying to really bring the energy because it's Friday it's gonna be a great episode I have a lot to go over I'm on camera right now and I feel like it's really making me push myself and I have lights I'm playing with my lights. It's my new favorite hobby. I've been watching so many YouTube

tutorials on lighting. Like, I didn't understand. It's a fine fucking art. It's so intense. So, I feel the pressure because I'm recording and I'm looking at myself in my little viewfinder thing, whatever it's called, my camera. But the thing I'm pissed off about, to start off the episode, I'm going to just get pissed off for you guys. Let me drink some coffee. I drank 99% of it and I'm down to like a half an inch in my cup and I'm kind of pissed off. um so I put a bunch of big ice cubes in it to kind of like water it down and it'll like make me have like over over the course of the podcast it'll look like I have more coffee than I really do anyways um yeah I'm pissed off because I've been playing around with my set my studio for

the video podcast dropping next Thursday and I have three camera options I could record the video the podcast um the podcast on and I got the nice Rolls Royce of fucking YouTube vlogging cameras the G7X Mark II Canon G7X Mark II and it has a four gigabyte video recording limit which means for I've been playing around with it every 16 minutes it's going to stop recording so I have to go tap record again and so if I'm mid-sentence I'm going to like trip on my you know I'll be tripped up to have to restart it so anyways I'm you know what I'm taking you guys along for this journey of my podcast process and maybe that's annoying information you want me to cut to the chase and tell you I'm wearing pigtails today tell you what perfume I've got on today tell you

my 24-hour update tell you what I'm gonna do this weekend I've got plans tonight I've got a lot to do oh my gosh and shout out to my first patreon ever I have to shout out my patreon at the end of the episode today make you guys all jealous because I've got one patron so that's cool but yeah I'm uh I'm this is like a test run for next week I'm practicing with a video and I'm a little pissed off so anyways um yeah uh any okay anyways so let's talk about my last 24 hours um okay so yesterday was Thursday Thursday I skipped the gym I was very very productive and busy in the afternoon though I was like I don't know I just wasn't feeling it I was like I'm sore I just want to like take a rest day here so I um drove up 30 minutes on the freeway to go to my favorite

laundromat and I fucking did my laundry I filled in some corners with my groceries and picked up things I've I'm kind of like missing right now um yes I got a lot of tuna again people know I like eating canned tuna and I'm embarrassed but that's me I'm just being truthful and honest as best I can and I got more tuna I get albacore wild caught all natural you know I really ball out for that extra like 50 cents to have the high quality shit um so yeah I went to the laundromat it's such a nice place I mean I I feel like there's a lot of shitty laundromats but when you find when you find the one that accepts visas and has a fucking vending machine full of lattes and like iced coffee options with a with a big screen a reading nook with fucking new books that have been released

in the last six months instead of like old romance novels from 1980 it's a great experience and so I don't know I've mentioned like this is like a throwback to an old episode I remember talking about this fucking laundromat but um I don't know like I don't like it's I have a laundry service here I could use but I'm not I'm like I'm liking my routine of driving up to Del Mar and going to this laundromat going back to my little like where I used to you know hang out all the time that's where I used to live and anyways uh so yeah I went to the laundromat got some groceries what else did I buy in my groceries I got new kombuchas um am I supposed to look at the camera when I'm talking on this video podcast I'm like staring off into space I'm like constantly staring

out my window to see if I can people watch for you guys. So anyways, uh, fuck. Uh, so I'm already losing track of time. What's happening? Um, fucking, oh, I was talking about what other groceries I got. I don't know. I got more frozen raspberries. I've been busting through those things. Uh, frozen raspberries, tuna. Oh, I got new almond milk for my coffee anyways. They were out of my favorite ones. I was kind of pissed. I had to get like this open nature bullshit instead of my nice uh blue diamond vanilla unsweetened almond milk shout out blue diamond what else did I do last night oh I booked my flight home so I officially booked my flight home to Washington for uh from Thanksgiving all the way through Christmas I'm going home for a

fucking month I can't wait I'm so excited I'm leaning back I'm putting my hands up I'm celebrating right now um so that's official I booked my flight I had a really productive night last night. When I think about it, I like got my groceries. I went to the laundromat. I booked my flight. I kind of cleaned up around my apartment. I have this new fuzzy blanket that's leaving little dust bunnies everywhere around my floor. And it's so frustrating. And so I just took my little, um, my handheld vacuum thing. I have, you guys always like it when I vacuum shit on my Instagram story. I don't know why I always like post a video of me cleaning up the crumbs on my floor, but yeah, I took that bitch around my apartment last night, really cleaned up the dust

bunnies, yeah, it was a great night, um, what else is here, 24-hour update, um, oh, I kind of played around with my Patreon, I had my first Patreon, and I wasn't really prepared with content, so I started putting together that, but you, you will be getting a shout out, and you're gonna make everyone else jealous, because you're the only one getting a shout out at the end of this, um, because part of the, uh, if you're a patron, a patron of this podcast, supporter of the show, you get a shout out I get to say your name at the end of every episode which is cool and the cool thing is he signed up for the most uh the highest tier he's part of the ice latte gang ice almond milk latte gang and um he gives he gets to give me input uh on the show each week so people that

sign up for that tier have they have some power in what I in what I say each week which is a good thing because he really this particular person wants me to um see a movie called tenant and because he has the power to, you know, tell me what I, you know, for the podcast, what am I saying? This is a train wreck. Um, I'm going to get out. I'm going to get out of the, go out on the town and see tenants. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go tonight. Um, I'm going out to dinner tonight, which is exciting. Um, so that's cool. I have a dinner, dinner date tonight. I have a movie potentially or tomorrow but yeah you guys if you're a patron patreon.com slash tjms you guys can get me out on the fucking town and get me out of this little apartment and I need that so

yeah the the more you guys give me input and like what I should do like go Jacqueline go skydiving and then report on it on the podcast like that type of shit Jacqueline go um I don't know go to this restaurant and taste something and let me know what you think test this out and try this thing and drive this car I don't even know but it's gonna be exciting to like I don't know I feel like I'm gonna be fucking steve-o like you guys are gonna be your input's all gonna be like extreme like extreme sport type shit or like extreme dares I don't know and I can't say no that's part of the the contract if you're a patron I have to do whatever you say so you guys are about to take over my life. I'm, am I kidding? I don't know. I'm really going to take it seriously

though. If you're a patron, I'm going to, I'm going to do my absolute best to take your input and, um, yeah. Give the people what they want. That's what this is all about. This is not about me. This is about giving you guys what you want. And so if you want me to go skydiving so I can talk about it on the podcast, I have to do it. Okay. What else happened last night? Oh, okay. So I was talking to someone in the DMs about this I thought I found my AC I thought I did right I turned on this little dial and I found it behind my door in my bedroom and I'm like oh my gosh I haven't seen I never paid attention to this like I you know when you see something every day you start like you don't really notice it anymore just like there and you're you're anyways so I

saw this little dial I turned it on I heard this vent turn on up above and I'm like oh my god my AC. Holy shit. Got so excited. Cause it's still, it's so fucking hot here still in San Diego. It's like another, it's gonna be another heat wave next week. So anyways, I'm, um, dude, I cannot record this on video. The position I'm in right now, I'm embarrassed. Like I need to hold my shit together for the video podcast. Like my, I'm not even like looking at the camera anyways. Okay. So yeah, the AC turned on. It was like cool air. I have to say, I was like, okay, this is kind of like not super cold but maybe it's gonna cool down as it you know over like the course of the next 10 minutes right so I ended up leaving right to go get groceries and

my do my laundry and I came back at my house my apartment was like hotter than I left it that was my heater I found I left that bitch on for like two hours when I was gone so I know my mom pointed out where my AC is I think I know where it's at but I just don't know how to work it and um still an issue also TMI but I still haven't got my period yet and I don't know what's happening I don't know what's happening because my boobs hurt really bad it's been like two weeks of this way past due man I'm this library book is past due I don't know what's happening um it sometimes this happens though when I work out a lot so I don't know I'm just not prepared to lose it for another like six months because I always freak out it's like a

thing whenever i get go really hard at the gym i don't get a period for like months it's not okay um so i'll be uh talking my doctor about that if things aren't normalizing um what else did i do last night i watched the fighter and the kid like a two it's like from two years ago podcast on youtube i'm like i don't know if i'm self-conscious about telling you guys my like how i watch so much YouTube podcast content you know what I mean like I I feel like I had something cooler to say like yeah last night I watched the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills oh my gosh man bun's really close to my window oh he's walking his dog they worked out earlier cool shoes dude I think he's flat footed like me because he's kind of like pronating I think he's pronating is that what that's called

when your feet kind of dip in in the center like you don't have an arch his feet were really um he's not knock need for sure he's not knock need but he's got like I don't know I'm seeing the weight distribution go kind of inwards on his feet and I know all about that because I used to work a movie I know all about the fucking flat foot pronation or like low arch shit I don't know so anyways what was I saying yeah I watched the fighter and the kid from like two years ago great episode I don't know like like oh I was saying oh I wish I could say something cooler like I watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or I watch like Love Island or I watch fucking I don't know what's another oh Dancing with the Stars the new season like I just watch people on couches talk

to each other and um you know what it's all good because I'm trying to join the club so I'm gonna take some coffee and get nervous I'm seeing my uh my uh cameras telling me I'm recording for 13 minutes so I'm gonna have to be like a little ninja and like press record like stop start really fast. Fuck. I'm probably, what I'm probably going to do, the G7X Mark III, the next version of this, like the newest version of this camera, it doesn't have a video limit. So what I'm probably going to do is sell this and, uh, just get the new one because I like that it has like the little, um, well, I feel like most video cameras have it, the screen that flips up so you can see what the frame looks like but um dude I have like a red light on me today it's kind of cool anyways watch the

fighter and the kid slept great um oh shit oh I was before I was podcasting I was going through all my notebooks and all this like stuff I've all this stuff I've put around my um studio here that's like helping me come up with talking points and content so a lot of my journals you know are full of shit from my past I like to read and I was thinking about it I'm like yo I want to make I want to make like I don't explain this like the rustic kind of shitty cluttery aesthetic cool like you know when you see some really pristine like vibey minimal stuff on Instagram I don't know how to explain like you see a really pristine clean background and I don't know what I'm saying and you feel some type of way you're like oh that's

just so nice I want people to look at my shitty cluttery shit and be like she looks like a fucking professor she looks like she's a lawyer she's got all these like papers and shit everywhere that's what I want my aesthetic and vibe to be like super like shitty and messy because I want to like do the opposite of everything that's cool and I feel like we need to get European about our shit now we need to get more rustic we need to get more like cluttery and I don't know I just feel more relaxed when I'm not trying to make everything look so perfect and clean and aesthetic and oh I'm over it um okay so today's gonna be kind of I have some plans um I have my journals like I said I'm gonna do some reading some light reading from my past journals this is from 2018

and I found notes in here I took from listening to Joe Rogan's podcast I found like multiple pages of notes I took so that's funny I just have like a lot of like my 2018 goals I have all these like daily journal entries which are kind of funny to read back so I don't know if that's gonna be dry and boring but I don't know it's my this is my morning this is my verbal morning pages I'm just you know speaking out shit I would just sit here and read or write so might as well let you guys in on the, um, the little morning pages with me. Um, Oh, okay. So also one second this morning when I, um, I was like trying to put my shit together or get my shit together for the podcast. Like, what am I going to talk about today? Cause I mean, to be honest, like Jacqueline didn't say

what she, she said yesterday, like Jacqueline on Friday, have bring the energy, wake up and work out before you podcast. Right. So I'm forcing it right now. This is all like just me really trying to push myself um but anyways I was like okay so I could like come up with some juicy content from the news right so I went to like my throwback um msn.com website I don't even know like I randomly thought of it I was like this is like the website when you when you were in a computer lab in elementary school like msn.com like the news that um home screen would always pop up so I went here and I started going cross-eyed I was like this I am I can't zero into any headline I am so confused like here we have like something about Apple's iPhone is $400

something about Trump USC the east coast could see a SpaceX launch Pennsylvania election I don't care I don't care about Pennsylvania Breonna Taylor something terrible about that something about an airplane testing for coronavirus for passengers I don't even know it's so confusing and all over the place I can't zero into anything and I just don't care so like the only news I can really talk about today honestly that i saw that i'm like oh that's kind of like fun is mgk just dropped an album so that's all i've got i don't want to talk about the news that's not really juicy you know what i mean and it's so confusing like dude how is the human brain so i'm on this home screen right now and i'm like there are so many random headlines something about buffalo

police uk artist aims to unite humanity with his inspired work it's so confusing um like a whole tab or a whole like the whole entire side of the msn.com home homepage is coronavirus stuff myths and facts i mean jesus something about a bird sings a sexier tune during san francisco coronavirus lockdown what the fuck is this i don't know oh kim johnny apologizes following some i don't know what the fuck is that anyways okay so i'm gonna like move on from that news dude did i even read the coffee fact today i don't even think i did the coffee fact i'm such a bad podcaster um okay so yeah anyways I feel like I don't know why I feel inclined to like read the news or like tell you guys what's going on in the world on this podcast I guess it's

because it's a daily thing and I'm like well my life isn't that exciting each day so if I talk about like current events and pop culture and shit maybe I don't know there's enough podcasts about that like I love listening to the morning toast because they always know what's like going on in the world and they always do a good job of talking about like the most juicy stories everyone should know for the day but I don't know I just watched like fucking I was on okay before I talk about um I'm gonna like read out of my journal right but okay I was on was it Tosh point oh wait Tosh I think it was on his Instagram there's this fucking video he posted of this panda and it it's a pan I'm like spitting on the microphone sorry it's a panda in China

having a baby and it shoots out like a little torpedo and it shouldn't be funny because the thing lands on the ground and it's kind of like a hard it's a hard fall right but I it's like I cannot stop watching it's the funniest shit I've ever seen go on is yeah Tosh.0's uh Instagram this is like your song of the day but it's your uh Instagram recommendation for the day tosh.0 yeah great form but no not a ton of distance this little baby fucking panda jumps out of it it's like so you know what's funny about it there's a the panda's like chilling leaning back holding on to a metal pole as it's giving birth and then it's it's like leaning back its legs spread and then all of a sudden this little baby shoots out of it i'm watching it

right now i don't know it should it's kind of sad right but it's i i was i'm terrible but i rolled out of bed, checked my phone today. Right. I'm not proud of that. I, you know what? I just like, I'm almost at the point now where I'm like, I don't really fucking care. Okay. I'm a daily podcaster. I got to come up with content. I got, I got to talk about something today. So I need some, I need to do some research every morning on my phone. So when I wake up and roll out of bed and get on my phone, it's like for you guys, you know what I mean? Trying to like fucking, yeah. So the panda thing, I realized I'm like, Jacqueline, it's so early where you're laughing out loud in your bed. You haven't even drank water or brush your teeth or woken up and you're

laughing out loud at this shit. And you know what? In that moment, I thought, Jacqueline, you've been laughing out loud a lot by yourself. And it's new for me. Like last night, I was watching the fucking podcast, Fighter and the Kid on YouTube. I was just sitting there by myself, leaning back, watching it, laughing by myself. And I don't know, I've never really noticed I've like, doing that before, probably because I was, like, depressed and just, like, not, I don't know, I'm very present now, so I'm actually enjoying, like, I'm really at ease and, like, in the moment with everything I'm watching on my phone or, like, on TV or whatever, it's kind of nice, dude, I'm pulling, I'm, like, taking my belly button ring off right now, why am I doing this?

I cannot be doing this on camera, whatever, you know what, I'm not editing this, I might do, like, uh, oh, I might do this, so, hey, I, I keep teasing for my Patreon, but I might post this raw and uncut edition of the TJMS, the, the show today on, um, on my Patreon, so, I don't know, um, what was I saying, oh, fucking Tosh.0, that panda thing is so funny, I'm feeling good, how are you guys doing, let me take some more coffee in, it's a good, it's a good episode, I'm so proud of myself today I like didn't start and stop it a bunch of times because sometimes I like overthink how I say the epic like the very first line in the in the podcast sometimes I'm like overthinking how it sounds and anyways so yeah that's your recommendation of the day

go to Tosh.0 and look at that panda video I'm not going to repost it because I just think you guys need to go and do your homework find it yourself fend for your fucking self it's like my uh the funniest thing i remember when i was a kid growing up this is like such such a random thought but whenever whenever he'd roll out run out of toilet paper in the bathroom i've i like hear it in my head so clearly it's so funny like we'd all do this do this to each other but my dad would be like use your hand use your hand such a bitch like or it was such a like annoying thing to have to do when someone would like they'd scream for toilet paper and you have to go rush it to them so dramatic dad just use your hand oh my gosh that's so funny the fucking journal oh my

gosh i'm saying that for too much today the journal i wrote in um or i read a couple days ago I wrote in 2015 like what's something I hoard and I wrote toilet paper dude I'm ahead of my time I'm ahead of my time what can I say I wrote a note here so yesterday I had no notes but today I kind of have I have a few I'm prepared reading the the note out of the notebook I wrote I still feel like an athlete every day a podcast it's still like the same adrenaline rush yeah every morning I'm like I feel like it's game day you know what I mean it's game day every morning a podcast is like getting on the field catching a ball scoring a TD speaking of which dolphins or who jaguars dolphins be the jaguars I don't fucking care two teams I do not care about

dolphins 31 jaguars 13 don't care but if you're I mean because it's a mostly it's a male dominated audience audience out there listening maybe you care or maybe you're like i don't know those are two teams you don't care about miami dolphins jacksonville jaguars don't care dolphins versus jaguars final score takeaways more magic from ryan's ryan fitzpatrick that's a great last name fitzpatrick ryan fitzpatrick leads miami to first 2020 win cool so anyways yeah i still feel like athlete it's cool um I also wrote a note here being a nobody is a gift keeps me authentic yeah fucking love it I'm it doesn't matter like what happens this podcast or me or my future whatever I am I'm just same old chick same chick different day different year same podcast same

vibe I'm nobody and I will say something just a little to be a little serious right now am I even recording um there's something to be said about when you're super honest and sharing your entire life story with no filter every day I just it's like the best feeling ever it feels so good and I want to I just I just can't stop talking about how much I love podcasting because I've never felt so like connected to myself and authentic and just like I don't have anything to hide, and I don't want to hide anything, like, I've told you guys so much about my, like, all of my insecurities, like, well, not all of them, yeah, I'm, like, slowly peppering them in over time, but anyways, okay, so we're gonna read out of my journal, um, this is from 2018,

first page, I don't know anything about motivation, I was born driven, I'm gonna show the camera that, I always like start my journals like the first page is some like motivational bullshit that I you know take so seriously that's cool I mean I mean that's a great line I don't know anything about motivation I was born driven I came up with that and I feel like I don't practice what I preach there in any like I am not always driven that's a lie and I think I like the way that sounds and it's it's very it's idealistic but I don't think it's realistic for like actually how I am because I felt like a lazy I feel like a lazy piece of shit most of the time but I'm not I mean to be honest like I'm pushing myself with this podcast I'm doing it every day this shit

isn't lazy this takes some I mean yeah it's the most like lazy way to make content because you just do it in one take and I don't edit anything so anyways that's the first page by the way this is going to be the section of the podcast where I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and it might be kind of dry and boring so skip ahead to the end if you're like looking for some I don't know funny light shakes I'm probably going to get like wired at the end to really bring this bitch home for your Friday podcast episode 22 how many times in the past episodes remember like every episode like 1 through 10 I was like episode 6 who's catching feelings episode 7 we're in love oh my gosh episode eight we're dating like what other woman talks to talks in your ear seven days

a week and now I'm on like episode 22 like I'm over that shit I'm so like over being like dramatic about the fact people know so much about me we're basically in love so anyways it's weird to like reminisce on the last episodes I mean it's only been like three weeks but I'm already feeling like I have a whole like it's like another life episode one through ten is like a whole nother life whole chapter. do I have a motor mouth or what? I think that's your favorite sound. okay just a second let me gather my thoughts here we got 2018 goals to read I got some journal entries that are kind of funny damn this is gonna be good all right 2018 goals number one stay off phone before bed dash read instead smiley face

stupid um still haven't accomplished that goal um move out of Pullman I put a check mark on that because I accomplished that goal that was my college town I finally moved out of so successfully did that um number three no bullshit podcast every week this must have been at the time the Jacqueline Monroe show is not this is not new back in 2018 I was recording a podcast out of my car in my bedroom I made like six episodes on SoundCloud and oh my gosh it's so cringy to listen to some of those because um I think I private all I privated all of them but I was trying so hard I was trying to sound like I was trying to be like motivational and inspiring and trying to like help in a sophisticated way like I was talking

about like dating and relationships I had like a friend over and we talked about that and it was just so serious and I'm like I cannot I cannot even believe I don't know like I don't the thing is is I don't care if people like when they think of me in my podcast or what I'm doing on the internet, I don't care if they think, like, oh, she's not very, like, professional, or she's not very, like, serious, and, like, I don't know, because you know how you listen to some shit, and it's, like, serious, and, like, we're gonna go over this topic, and we're gonna really achieve our, our goal here today by teaching you the molecular science of fucking raspberries I don't fucking know but like I don't take any like I just I just can't um so

it's weird to like look back at those and remember that time dude I just like to have fun I just like to you know what humor humor is uh it's the way to go man humor is a safe place this is a safe place um it's just yeah it's weird to look back when I was really serious and about everything I talked about online I wrote get a cat slash dog um still haven't done that get my knee looked at that's funny I have a bad knee still haven't done that I already know why it's bad because I have a flat foot I flat feet real low arches not cute if anyone's looking for feet pics from me look the other like look at someone else's or look for go somewhere else because I have really you know I'm looking at my feet right now. Uh, they're cute. I feel like I've, I like my feet. I've

never been self-conscious about my feet. It's like my, I've really great toes, but my arch is not very high and it's just the way it is. So there, I just told you something I'm self-conscious about, but I'm like, you know, I'm over holding anything back. So now you know what else is on here. 2018 goals. Join a yoga studio. I did that, did that for six months straight got shredded as fuck uh i love doing hot yoga i literally did it like 70s a week it was insane i was so i that's the thing about me is i get obsessed with shit i get like i get like competitive with myself like i'm gonna do this every fucking day uh um 2018 goals i don't know there's not really anything here like oh get my splits by february 1st i can do

the splits I did that it's funny I had like yoga goals on here got a second piercing oh yeah that's when I got my belly button pierced did that so anyways that's my goals but here's something I want to read this is from February wait holy shit this was on um Valentine's Day 2018 I wrote I do a lot of bullet points in my journals like quick thoughts instead of like writing sentences I don't know so I wrote slept eight hours it snowed four inches last night I took the last two days off from yoga I'm craving to go back heart I'm starting to notice how it affects my clarity yoga apparently affects my clarity that's probably a positive thing loving sausage egg mushroom broccoli scrambles right now looking ahead at my next six months

and I'm feeling really excited. New job, new location. I put a sun, new people. I, at that time, so back in February in 2018, this is like before I moved to San Diego, I knew, see, I'm like a very, when I get specific about a goal or whatever, I'm like, I see the future and I see the date. So I always had in my head, like June 1st, I'm not going to be in Washington. I'll be in California. And I manifested that shit and I came here, but I said, looking ahead of my next six months I'm feeling really excited a new job new location new people yeah and then it kind of went it went like and then that was a whirlwind of a 2018 2019 is a whirlwind of a time um but yeah I wrote that oh and I and then the final bullet point here this is why I wanted to read

this today as I wrote I want to start podcasting again on Sundays dude I wanted to do a Sunday podcast bitch if she only knew if 2018 Jacqueline only knew in 2020 she would just oh my god I'm podcasting seven days a week now this is crazy so I wrote that um I was gonna read the Rogan notes from my like when I listened to his podcast I'm just like looking through here this is so funny oh my to-do list before I moved to San Diego holy shit what's this oh my gosh law school birthday gift for Julia mom gift see I'm always like giving I feel like I didn't do that though I don't know give back give gifts help your family um okay wait stay with me this like I said this might be the dry boring part oh my gosh I wrote things I want to do to pass

at 24 years old I wrote like the pros and cons of being single or in a relationship and settled holy fucking shit excuse me that's not okay to say um holy holy uh shit uh wow this is weird I don't even remember like looking back and thinking of my mindset and my like where my head was at then I was really taking life seriously so I must have been like 22 how old was I then 23 oh my gosh dating someone pros and cons wow why do I value being alone independent versus being in a relationship i'm wasting my life away being tied to fleeting fuck boys who aren't at my level intellectually oh my god why do i value being alone and independent versus being in a relationship i'm wasting my life away being tied to fleeting fuck boys who aren't at my level

intellectually yeah that's when i was like not i was like dating but i was never it's like never no committing or relationship status stuff it's just like it's games mixed messages but you know what at the time I was like I know I'm gonna move like I don't want to fucking like settle down with someone right now in Pullman right before I leave so that's kind of that was kind of a nice time in my life I will say like dating wise because I feel like I wasn't trying I was I was able to date without any like I wasn't like getting my hopes up because I'm like I know I'm gonna be moving so I'm just gonna have this experience and then move on anyways um so wow this is kind of funny to look at

my dating like or my 20 by 24 goals being single or in a relationship well okay when I read that earlier before the podcast I was like wait how old am I now I'm like fucking I'm 26 I blacked out like what happened in the last two years 24 25 I hate this I'm not ready for this growing up shit I don't like I don't dude the 20 like it's so weird like eight like every year I get older I'm like what happened I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything I still am like I feel like they're I'm on this like I'm in this washing machine and every time I check in with my family about my life I feel like they're just like Jacqueline when the fuck are you gonna figure it out like when are you gonna figure it out I don't know we're all trying to though you know

what I feel I feel okay about my situation because I think your 20s is all about throwing shit against a wall and seeing what sticks you know what I mean like I'm trying everything and I'm not putting so much pressure on myself to have this like amazing career by the time I'm 30 and have everything figured out dude I'm just I'm a daily podcaster that's all I want to do I'm I'm literally just doing what I'm passionate about every day and I'm not I'm not like worrying about the future you know what I mean oh my god I just got coffee in my eye this is why the video podcast can be entertaining because like I just it splashed in my eye that's not okay okay so hi happy Friday how are we doing okay I'm like

sweating now too okay this is like an intermission seventh inning stretch oh my gosh we haven't done a seventh inning stretch in a few podcasts everybody get up clap your hands okay so now we're gonna read um yeah seventh inning stretch I like thought that was such a cool segment in like episode one through ten I've totally forgotten about it so um okay so this is what I wrote 2018 January 21st I wrote or February 21st Joe Rogan's ex so with I don't know what that x is David Goggins podcast I put a pink I'm showing the camera I put a pink um highlighter around that shit and I wrote I fucking took notes on this um be uncommon I don't give a fuck if you don't understand me I'm a worry a warrior don't put a limit on what's possible that's probably

what david said the worst thing for a man to do is become civilized it's like some shit my dad would say or dad would think martial arts plus yoga yoga is martial arts against yourself i think that's like the first podcast when joe rogan said that now he repeat he mean thing is he repeats himself a lot like over the years you kind of hear the same things over and over again but um yeah martial arts is yoga or yoga is martial arts against yourself interesting personal sovereignty domination most people struggle to find who they are and what they like i fuck i finally figured it out okay uh most people say triple down on strengths he says no triple down on your weaknesses find something out about yourself that you suck at and improve it

oh and this is when i had a little like oh this is my little takeaway from listening to that i wrote this is about me i wrote this is why i say i'm obsessed with my failures and bad have habits because it drives me to do better that's something like you know where I think I heard I'm obsessed with my failures bad habits I think I heard like Gary Vee said say that or like some motivational person who's like I'm obsessed with one of the things I suck at because it's I strive to do better um another note I wrote about this podcast dude who okay first of all who takes fucking podcast notes does anyone out there do that I haven't done this and like i don't do it this is probably the last time i ever did this back in 2018 but

what the fuck um okay so 90 this is another note 90 of your life will suck even people who have it all face your shit whatever it is that's eating you alive that you suffocate and ignore i don't know dude the next page i think i still have notes on this oh david goggins the mind is the most powerful fucking thing in the entire world. As the world gets busier and faster technology you're glued to all day, you get further and further away from yourself. I want to be proud of myself for overcoming who I used to be. That's a quote from David Goggins. Self-discipline is the key to everything you want in life. Dude, some people struggle with that. Now that I've been researching ADHD, because I think I potentially have it undiagnosed, I'm realizing

that like for some people like it's not a laziness thing or a lack of self-discipline it seems like that and a lot of people will be like oh you're just not disciplined or but I think that there's more like you literally have a neurological issue and you're not able to just focus and stick to something and complete it and stay disciplined um so I don't know I don't know if I do I bet you know what I bet I'm on the spectrum obviously there's a whole spectrum with ADHD, but I think I, um, like, cause it doesn't make, I mean, I don't know. I'm doing this every day. I'm sticking with this, but there's a lot of other shit in my life where I like, don't, I just can't follow through. I'm like, I get paralyzed before I start and then I avoid it.

And then I'm like procrastinating. I'm like, I just, I'll do every other, I'll literally do everything except the thing, the priority. And then I hate myself and feel guilty about it. And then I never do the task and then I just like ignore it and look the other way and um not proud of that so that would be a weakness as this podcast note says that I should uh improve that weakness so you know like you know hook it up with my therapist or have the Adderall um get the Adderall on board from the therapist or something I don't know I honestly am scared to take anything for ADHD because I don't, I think that I'd rather just work it out through therapy and like maybe get some new tools from the, I don't know, like do it the natural way. Just like make a list and

cross it off every day and actually stick to it. Maybe I should do that. I don't know. I've always been really insecure and judgmental and about myself because of my lack of completing shit that should be simple especially a lot of adult tasks and like I don't know I just can't get shit done anyways but I can podcast every day so I don't know oh my gosh this is funny okay I know I don't know if this is a dry part of the podcast oh there goes my positive affirmation alarm um but I'm reading you know I'm reading out of my journal from 2018 today trying to bring the energy I'm just enjoying this part because it's funny I took notes on podcasts um okay so this is funny i wrote dogs as former wolves and this is what joe rogan said about dogs as formal former

wolves i wrote the fucking quote from the podcast that he said he wrote we found the one that was so this is about wait dogs that dogs as former wolves he said we found the one that was slightly bitch ass and invited it over to the campfire hey man we got free bacon then we gave it then we gave them perms I want a white curly hair I want white curly hair I'm a poodle mother I'm a poodle motherfucker that's funny the the bitch-ass wolf came over the campfire we fed it bacon and that's how we got dogs domesticated I want white curly hair I'm a poodle motherfucker I even wrote this like a deep quote he wrote Rogan said I even wrote this in quotes this is a February or no march 7th 2018 we define ourselves too often by our past failures that's not you you are this

person right now you are the person who has learned from those failures build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired dude the fuck quotes from ben greenfield in this new journal dude i was a nerd i i you know what it makes sense, like, I am, I'm, I'm podcasting now, I'm in this podcast universe, breaking through, I'm blasting through these, um, seven days a week podcasts, really making a dent in the, the, uh, the old podcast apps, what am I, what the fuck am I saying, what did I, what's my line about, I'm like, I'm like, something these hoes, I'm, uh, drown, oh yeah, I'm drowning out these hoes I'm doing this I'm doing a daily podcast I'm here seven days a week

I'm drowning out these hoes but it's funny to look back on this and like see that I was taking notes on podcasts in 2018 and like now I'm podcasting oh I even wrote here like social justice groups and movements people need to stop connecting themselves with these ideas and start looking at them objectively with human values in mind use science to prove things wrong and if you can't it must be true interesting people tend to be extremely tribal and when they're really concerned what and what they're really concerned with is winning it becomes a competition of us versus them they tend to exploit weaknesses then attack to score points all ideas about being honest intellectually or looking at things objectively go out the window damn joe rogan podcast took a

note on that shit february 26 2018 all right you know what now i'm gonna skip ahead to this journal this is a 2020 section I wrote in here this is when shit went south and I lost my job it's funny I was scrolling through this book today I'm like oh my god I actually remember writing this I was really trying to like get my head around my 2020 game plan I even wrote like 2020 game planned game plan um because back in March I lost my job I was really paranoid obviously we didn't really know anything about the pandemic I thought it was like a death sentence if you got it you know what mean and it was like it was insane you know I mean that whole feeling of like uncertainty and whatever so you know I was on the phone daily with my parents they're like itching for me to

move home they're you know offering to get me a you know we were gonna get a u-haul pack up my new apartment I just moved into or put it in storage for the year and go live with them so I wrote here um 2020 game plan I wrote in bullet points coronavirus oh wait I wrote what happened question mark and then my story about what happened so what happened coronavirus bullet point lost my job fuck those are the three bullet points coronavirus lost my job fuck then I wrote the plan oh then my story about what happened was I refused to allow coronavirus to ruin my momentum in 2020 forward progress only then I got depressed and we all know what happened in May I wrote moving home is a temporary solution to feel stable and safe with family until the virus

goes away and I can actually um thrive in San Diego so yeah because otherwise I'd be locked down by myself all year which was what I ultimately chose to do we're on the other side of this now so this is crazy so then I wrote the plan I wrote March so the Friday so the march plan was to like figure out my finances with everything call my landlords get a storage unit call u-haul hire movers literally i wrote like saturday oh yeah my mom was going to come to town like a wednesday so i was like saturday through tuesday pack pack move out and then with mom and then i wrote work remotely at home save get my real estate license YouTube question mark podcast question mark do these things before

moving back to California yeah I was basically gonna go hang out with my mom at her house and just ride out this year and I don't know if I'm you know what I think I'm grateful and I'm or whatever I'm happy I made this decision because look I had all this downtime all this depression all this thinking time and I really listened to my soul and it finally told me what it what it really wants. And it said, Jacqueline, get on a fucking microphone every day and talk about your life. Be a daily podcaster. You know, I had to go through what I had to go through to get to this part of the, or to get to this point, but, um, dude, it's all worth it. I just really, I knew so something about when I get momentum, like I really was excited about 2020. I'm like, I have

a new job. I have a new apartment. I'm so inspired. Like this is gonna be the best year ever. It's 2020 2020 vision um I was like I was like I will do whatever it takes to keep this going I will not let this coronavirus ruin my moment my momentum and I'm weirdly like fine with 2020 I mean it's been I've been really alone and we've talked about how I'm like barely socializing or doing anything fun right now um or pretty much all all this year but I don't know I just feel I feel like I'm really getting in touch with myself and it's it's good for my it's good for my health it's good for I feel like 2021 I'm like setting myself up for mentally and physically and everything because I'm finally getting my shit together instead of like letting 2020 ruin me

okay this next page says hey 2020 fuck you this was supposed to be a huge financially abundant year for me but hey the blessing is the chaos wait the the blessing in the chaos is that it will be abundant I put a little arrow here that says perspective then I wrote um this is normal everyone's gonna hit a hit rock bottom this year at some point it just sucks because I thought it was on the cusp of I bet like seven dollar signs I don't know I mean it hasn't it's been prosperous but not like what I expected especially with my new job I was like oh my god I'm gonna ball out this year for once and finally like getting my shit together financially by like you know more than ever at all these goals with my job I talked to my like boss about every day it was

really exciting but whatever it's still you know what it's fine dude the next page is so many numbers I wrote cash flow three month grind I wrote like all the money coming in all the money going out oh my gosh I really like hypothetical or like I projected numbers for like the whole year like potentially what could happen whatnot dude oh my god I got sucked in I almost got my life insurance license so I knew I mentioned I was gonna get my real estate license but then I almost got my life insurance license wow I got sucked into a lot of crazy shit I even got sucked into this multi-level marketing scheme even though they say it's not I'm just calling it what it is it's not I it's Monet it's called Monet and I became a market market partner for

Monet for like three weeks and it was cool like I think it works I'm not I don't want to shit on those like Arbonne or like Monet or like these other kind of MLM type of things where you you literally have to recruit people, so, like, it's all, it's a multi-level thing, okay, but I don't want to talk shit about it, because it works for some people, and I, and I look at a lot of women doing it, and they have a ton of, like, it's mostly women that I see, that's what I'm saying, women, guys too, whatever, but they're really successful at it, and it works for them, but personally, it's just not, not for me, but yeah, I got, I, like, got sucked into that, I got sucked into work, like, getting my life insurance, or my, yeah, my life, life insurance license, I did grocery delivery,

you guys know all about that that was probably the most fun I had all year honestly like or the most that was like the funnest part of the first half of the year grocery delivery like showing up to people's houses and they were just so like timid about opening the door because they didn't want to get sick and I get it because nobody knew back then and I was mostly like older people that I was delivering groceries to so I felt really good about it at the time I'm like look I'm young I'm healthy I don't have a job so I'm gonna what can I do to help people you know when you feel helpless they say help people get out of your own head and try to like reach out and help other people so yeah grocery delivery was great um some people were like can we like have you come like

can we make this a regular thing can you just come every week but it doesn't work like that it's, like, a random thing when you get someone's order, um, anyways, so I think that's enough out of this journal today, what else is in here, I just think it's crazy to, like, reflect on, I really felt like 2018 when I wrote in this journal, I had my shit together, I was super motivated to move to San Diego, I had my job, I was working at my university back then, I was the program coordinator for my, there's, like, international, um, program, um, department there that I worked for and worked with international students I had my own interns I had like how many interns did I have each semester 15 I think I had 15 each semester yeah I did I hired them too and

I was like wait I'm this is like sophisticated I felt I felt like I was finally I felt like a leader I had people that were you know coming to me for questions and advice and they were pretty much I mean I was just out of college we were around the same age but um I know I felt really like that job really I felt purposeful and like the best way and it was cool I met a lot of people from all over the world in fact I even met this is like now I'm segwaying into stories um but I'm talking about how in 2018 I really felt like I had my shit together I um I met like a few weeks after the Aleppo bombings in Syria I met some medical students that came over they were like doing a study abroad thing, I think they were from, where did they come from, their families

were, like, that's where they were from, but they, anyways, they were studying, they weren't really there when it was going on, but one of the, or two of the guys I talked to that were, that came to visit, their family home got bombed, and they, like, lost family members, and it was so crazy to, like, sit there, and, like, hear it straight from them, and it was crazy, because that's when it just happened, like, a few weeks before, and I think they had gotten away, they had gone off to medical school, they were out of the, you know, the, the city, but I don't know, it's crazy, I really followed that closely when Aleppo was getting fucking obliterated, that was a terrible, terrible thing to see, um, anyways, dude, I just feel so, now I'm just like, wow, I'm so fucking grateful

for my life like dude if I cry I'm gonna start crying on camera that's what's gonna end up happening on this damn podcast I'm gonna get really emotional yeah I mean we have it so good and I know I bitch a lot about millennials and people that just like there's so much bullshit about how how I don't know like how much people hate it here I hate it America sucks I hate the United States fuck this country fuck everything and I'm like look compare like we haven't fucking amazing shut the fuck up you know what I mean and I I don't hear a lot of it's probably because a lot of the stuff that gets bumped to the top on social media is dramatic and it's polarizing and people really post things to get a reaction and they try to have this like you know big bold take on

current events and then their posts get shared and it's this whole thing it's all about it's self um like they're it's fulfilling or it's uh there's a term for this self-indulgent no it's like self-promoting or fucking it I'm gonna think of it someone you know what this always happens someone will dm me like what I was searching for there what was my thought I was just having what was on the tip of my tongue that I couldn't get out but anyways it um, it's stupid, and I, I just think that, I don't know, I just, there's not a lot of respect, there's not a lot of, um, gratitude, or, that's popular out there right now, like, I don't know, more people thought about how good they have it, and just talked about it, instead of

focusing on all the negative shit, I mean, the world would be a better, better place, I mean, look I'm like I'm a according to you know fucking science and data I've pretty much won the lottery here I think the only way I could have be if I was a white male in America I think it would be better I think that's what they say but I'm a white female like straight teeth long hair like conventionally attractive female I live in a sunny place I've got my own apartment financially set i'm not like fucked financially i i have a car i can drive i have like groceries i can buy i have equipment to make a podcast and talk about whatever i want every day i like i don't know i'm just super grateful and i want things to all work out and i'm really just like

why am i reflecting on this crazy climate of i don't know people bitching about the united states but it's weird man it's weird and I is that me so is that is me being annoyed by people bitching about it me trying to be different than other people like why don't I just join in because if I really think about it a lot of shit is fucked but I I I'm trying to hold people account I'm trying to like make people realize that there's a lack of respect going on there's a lack of gratitude there's a lack of um just happy I don't know and I'm really conflicted because I've said this in the past like the American flag thing now is such a trigger and it shouldn't be like that it should not be a trigger for people if you're proud or if you show your pride for

this country if it's like oh my gosh they're you know sucking Donald Trump's fucking toes they're obsessed with him like it's not about that I think it's more like me trying to recruit when I'm saying like I respect this country I'm proud to be here I'm grateful to be here and like I just want to I want more people to feel like sit in their gratitude about and then like look around their lifestyle like if you're listening right now it's like if you're at your job if you're in your house it's like you have it better than so many fucking people right now if you're even listening to this um and so I know it's like easy to bitch about the stuff going on but that's it it's easy it's not easy to think of these things think of things objectively what

did I write this is like literally what I wrote earlier from that 2018 notebook I read from Joe Rogan's podcast about social justice movements and shit what did I I'm gonna find it gonna like refer back to my notes dude I can't even believe I was writing on this uh how are we doing is this good episode, I don't know, just not even gonna judge myself about it, because I'm just working it out, man, every day, just a little more, a little bit each, a little more each day, a little more progress each day, yeah, I said people tend to be extremely tribal, or he said people tend to be extremely tribal, and what they're really concerned with is winning, becomes a competition of us versus them, they tend to exploit weaknesses, then attack to score points, all ideas are about

all ideas about being honest intellectually or looking at things objectively go out the window I don't know I don't even know like I just don't even know yeah anyways I don't want to talk about like politics or the United States or what the fuck's going on why people are upset I'm just like over thing is you know what I really think too is like I just want people to be happy and content and grateful instead of enraged all the time and I feel like in the last four years all I've seen is people pissed off at one person in the in the White House and it shouldn't be like that I'm just like over I'm like can can we just like can we just go okay we're not gonna change this person nothing no amount of bitching is

gonna change this person in fact it's it's it's it's like uh stoking the flames the attention we give the energy we give to him and I just think that man if that if that guy gets re-elected can we just like everyone just go okay it is what it is man this is it you can't keep like i don't know because think about it i've said this many times in the past like how much has your life changed how much has the person the president personally fucked you over because he's the president like how much has your life really changed the course of your life like i know it really i i don't know my life has pretty much stayed the same no matter who's in who's in the white house who's in that seat. So enough about politics. I think that's kind of it for today. I think we

just did like a nice concise episode here, Friday episode. I've been really self-disciplined lately about calling it, you know, just calling it, calling it done, calling it good. I think we'll end this today by checking out the little tabs I open on the internet and just seeing if I can come up with any talking points. I do need more coffee. Oh, I know. I have to tell you guys something, okay, so last night, I fucking, I'm trying to get prepared for you guys for the video podcast, so I whiten my teeth, and I've done this in the past, where I go to bed, I go to bed with white strips on, my Crest white strips, and it's never affected my teeth, I made them really sensitive, but I'm feeling like, oh, I fucked my teeth up, like, really bad, and at, like, 3 a.m.,

I remember I rolled over, and I, like, ripped them out, so they weren't in my teeth, on my teeth all night but I like ripped them out in the middle of the night and it was so disgusting I like literally spit on the floor I was just like I need to get this sticky stuff out of my mouth because I don't really remember it getting that nasty usually when I sleep with them they just stay they like they stop like working like it did the peroxide or whatever the fuck is whitening my teeth it doesn't keep it's not like active the whole night with them on so usually it just like dries out in the night I don't know but you know what I think it is they're all juicy last night at 3 a.m because I've been I sleep with or I nose breathe at night

I noticed that I've been hearing a lot about sleep or breathing with through your nose at night instead of being a mouth breather because that's really bad for us but I paid attention I was like wait I mean I am a nose breather I am a nose breather and I'm proud of that so it's like better for you apparently I think there's like a book about it right now there's always a book about something something new someone's taking seriously you know what I mean it's like what are we going to take seriously next I don't know people get real scientific with their shit it's really funny it's good though I mean I don't know did I read uh yeah I read the coffee fact right or did I oh my god did I oh I don't think I ever did so let's read the coffee fact to end this

I think I know what happened I think I um I was talking about the football like the game last night and then I got sidetracked from the coffee fact I think that's what happened earlier dude we've come a long way this seems like a short podcast but like it's not i don't know so drinking coffee was coffee fact today drink coffee fact friday here we go one two three four five six who's ready to get this i don't know i was about to try to make a rhyme and it didn't work drinking coffee was once once lunch once punishable by death drinking the seventh drink during the 17th century ottoman empire it was believed that coffee contained mind-altering effects the ruler of this period believed it to be a type of narcotic and banned it from public consumption interesting

coffee was punishable by death during the 17th century ottoman empire fascinating we just all learned something today that's amazing all right one last little looky look here at my phone for some talking points let's go to the dms i always check the dms we're going to end this podcast today with a patreon shout out stick around. If you're a patron member, if you're a patron of the podcast, we currently have one, so I'm talking to one person. You're going to get your shout out. Don't worry. Yeah, anyways, DMs. Let's see here. Get people getting excited for the podcast. Bring on a guest. Wait, bring a guest to sometime. Yeah, I know. That's coming. I've told you guys

many times. This first few months here, first couple months is me just working this out, getting used to seven days a week and then when I go home for Christmas or the holidays I keep saying the holidays because I'm going home for a month um I'll be interviewing family members and then I think come the new year man we're gonna be getting uh we're lining them up there's gonna be a line out my door every day for podcast guest um auditions yeah I'm taking on you have to send in an audition tape I'm not just taking in I'm not taking anyone um so that's gonna be fun my brother, he, uh, he's the one, shout out to my brother, first of all, thank you for making me my intro music, um, it's a total, like, Vegas vibe, I grew up watching a lot of, I don't know,

like, Vegas movies, like, Oceans, I grew up on all those Ocean movies, like, Oceans 12, Oceans 13, wow, there's, like, so many Oceans, I think it was, like, it started at Oceans 11, though, right, and it kind of, it kind of gives me, like, that Vegas vibe listening to it, I don't know, it's like I don't know I mean I I usually go to Vegas once a year pretty much that's what I've done since like forever and um I really like is it even the same anymore I feel like it's still kind of shut down who knows so yeah shout out to my brother Rob R-O-B Mon M-O-N Rob Mon on SoundCloud shout out to you thank you for making it so yeah I read I said that because someone got excited I have a I posted I have a new intro music thing today flame reaction have a great day of podcasting

you guys are great you guys are great guys are great anything else here not much let me just kind of take you through my Instagram scrolling um Rachel Whitehurst she's my the coffee with Rachel podcast I was obsessed with back in the day she used to be the host of it I still follow her she lives in Seattle and I just really like her I like her vibe um oh my gosh I'm noticing a new trend a lot of the like girls out there are wearing like pigtails and little um plaid skirts like uh and then collared shirts with crewnecks just like they have a school uniform on it's really funny to see like the school uniform is trendy or it's like a fall trend I don't know it's cute I think I think it's really cute did I tell you guys I have pigtails in today yeah I

wear my hair in pigtails. I'm so cool. I'm so quirky and cool. Um, oh my gosh, my aunt posted a video of my cousin. What's she doing? She's so cute. Can't wait to see her. I, I've really had this extreme guilt about watching my cousin grow up in front of my eyes on my phone, like through videos and pictures. Cause I, I got to meet her, um, I got to meet her last, last fall when I went home and we went to the pumpkin patch together. It was so much fun. Um, but I haven't seen her since I've only met her one time and this year's made me really miss family and just realize how at the end of the day that's really all that matters like a lot of the stuff I do I've noticed is like I'm striving I'm trying to make something out of my life and achieve goals

and and plant roots here in San Diego and and do big things and I feel like I've I'm sacrificing family time and that for my own I don't know it's like it's like oh you're selfish 20s or whatever but I feel like if I stayed home and if I was in my hometown I don't I'm not like inspired like the way I am down here I kind of need my own I need my distance I need my alone time and my like I don't know my free spirit what am I saying to like I need to do that to start like to start my life and to pop off and to do what I want to do. And, um, sometimes I'm like, I just want to be like in high school again and live with my mom. And, and I don't need to try so hard. You know what I mean? I could podcast. I'm going to podcast every day. When I go home and see her, I might as

well just stay with her and live there forever. You know, it's stupid. I I've mentioned this a lot about this podcast isn't ending. I'm going to, I'm going to end it. Don't worry. This is the last thought and I'll be self-disciplined and I'm going to end it. We're going to have a happy Friday episode 22. We're going to end it. Don't worry. But I thought about this and it's like when you have kids, obviously, you know, at some point they're going to grow up and move away and do their own thing. But I don't think you ever really, you can't really prepare for that and how that's going to feel and how you're going to, you know, and you never know how far away they're going to move. So I've had this like thought about my mom, you know, she's got three

adult kids now that are all moved out and they're all doing their own thing and they're far away. and she's just like she just no she doesn't have us around anymore and it's like my most of her life without I mean most of my life is like being around my mom and my siblings every day going to school and living together and it's kind of weird like when you grow up you're just it doesn't exist anymore it's like oh you're just it's you and your little life and your little place and your little city and I don't know that's why I'm like dude every year I know I'm going home for a month but I feel like it should be a standard for everyone at all families across the United States because I feel like other countries are better at this like being around their family

more maybe you guys are listening to this like yo I just roll down to my mom's house she lives down the street I'm like close to her or you're like in the same vicinity of your family and you're all you're just like always with each other and stuff so if that's the case I'm jealous I'm kind of realizing that my life choice to move to a new state far away is it's really it's just a different lifestyle and um anyways I uh I think it should be standard though like I'm going home for a month and I like all I want to do every year is for the holidays all the way from Thanksgiving to Christmas every one of my siblings is home for a month all my family is like everyone is home and we're just hanging out together every single day for a month so I think we all need that it's really

hard to see people for a couple days a year on the holidays and that's it I don't know I can't wait to start a family someday though like I'm not shy about saying that I used to like hide that from like when I would I find myself in relationships a lot of time like downplaying how much I want kids in a family someday like in the past I'd say like in college and stuff like of course I wasn't even like mentally thinking that but or like I wasn't trying to settle down but when I think about it now I'm like there's still guys have come across us even like recently where they're just like not about the kids thing they're not about like they're just and they they justify it too in these like stupid ways and I'm just like such a turnoff to me I'm like I don't know there's

I think it's a red flag though if the guy's like 40 and he's still kind of fucking around with no kids and he's never been married and I'm like I just I don't know personally I just I'm judging you, yes, I'm judgy about that, I just don't, I don't know, bachelor lifestyle forever is maybe every, it's some, like, I think somewhere in every guy, that might be their little dream, but I don't know, I'm just looking for, just looking for a dad material, I don't know, a father figure out there, why am I talking about this right now, I am getting hungry, so we're gonna end the podcast right now. Um, the camera, I think I told you guys I've been practicing for my, um, YouTube podcast starting October 1st and the camera worked out today. I did start and stop it a few times. I

don't know if you could tell, but, um, the only thing is I noticed I'm gonna have to change, change the battery in the last, last part of the podcast, which is fine. I actually, you know what I'm going to do is get a cord and just, so it just stays on. I don't have to use battery. So that's good. So I learned, I learned about my camera today. So yeah, it's going to be a great Friday. I'm going to make some breakfast. I'm going to go out to, I have a dinner tonight, which is exciting. I'm probably going to go see tenant, um, the movie theater and, um, yeah, maybe I'm going to work. I'm probably gonna do a midday workout cause I have a, cause I'm going out tonight. So it's Friday night. Have a great Friday, everyone. I appreciate you being here.

Hope this was a good one for you and you liked hanging out. I don't know. Um, again, patreon.com slash TJMS. If you want to support the show currently have one patron, I'm going to shout out the very end of this. So stay to the end. If you want to hear your shout out, uh, it's going to be a very boring shout out today cause there's one person. Um, but go over to patreon if you want to support the show and then uh youtube.com just search my name subscribe my channel for the youtube podcast dropping next thursday october 1st all right guys have a great friday i will talk to you tomorrow for saturday's q a woohoo third q a of the podcast stoked can't wait um yeah so have a great day talk to you tomorrow all right bye all right today's patreon.com

slash tjms patron shout out goes to the one and only ricky jensen ricky i'm gonna be honest today this is gonna be a little awkward because you're the only one um so this isn't gonna make any sense or sound cool until like 10 people are involved in how i do this little creative name shout out ending but ricky i'm gonna say your name as many times as possible right now ricky jensen ricky Ricky, Ricky, first patron of the podcast. Big shout out to you. Thank you for supporting the show. This is what we're going to do today. I'm going to associate your name with a Crayola crayon color. Okay. It doesn't make any sense. That's the point. It's creative. It's fun. Each podcast, I'm going to come up with a theme. Sometimes it's going to be like random shit, like Crayola

crayon box, or we'll do like the universe, the Harry Potter universe, or we'll do like any, like a movie and I'll, I'll cast you as like one of the characters. And that's how I'll like, I'll say your name and I'll associate you with one of the characters. So every podcast is going to be kind of fun. And, uh, I get to shout your name out and then something that reminds me of you. And I don't even know you, but we're going to, you know what, we're going to eventually get to know each other very well. If you, uh, because you're, you know, a patron, a supporter of the show and everything. So Ricky Jensen is screaming green, the screaming green Crayola crayon color. go ahead and do a little google search on that crayon color that's what you remind me of ricky

screaming green and if i had other patrons right now if i had like 10 people i'd be like jonathan is shocking blue and tammy is wisteria and joe is cotton candy and so i'd say all their names and then the color it'd be more fun uh so it's not just you probably i guess maybe you like being the only one right now. Anyways, thank you for your support. Appreciate it a lot. Honestly, it really means a lot to me that you are enjoying the podcast and I'll be shouting you out every single day from here on out. And that's just the way this is. So thank you for your support. I appreciate you a lot. And that's all I've got today for Patreon shout outs. All right. Later.