The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 223- Chilly Pheesesteak

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

Happy Thursday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

Hey guys, happy Thursday. It's episode 223. Welcome back to the show. Okay, I've got a situation I need to explain to you guys right now before I officially start the show, uh, regarding the state of my health and physical wellness. Hi, it's Jacqueline. Welcome back. Welcome back to the show. Uh, yeah, it's a lot. There's a lot of, I need to, there's so many layers I need to unpack and I need to set the scene for you guys right now so you understand what I'm currently going through as I'm recording this and honestly it's like self-inflicted torture at this point and I'm ashamed of this but I'm I'm stubborn I'm like Jacqueline you press record start recording start doing your do your episode get it over with

before you take care of yourself it's I don't know anyways uh I threw my back out in the shower trying to wash Jimmy tonight and like I didn't try I washed him and uh yeah I'm in pain on top of that so let's reverse let's go backwards so yeah I was standing in the I was standing in the shower looking like a candy cane hunched over not worried about bracing my core or you know keeping my back safe so yeah I'm in the shower so I decided to wash him tonight anyways this there's that. Let's rewind. Um, prior to the shower with Jimmy, cause he, he got real dirty. His paws were so muddy and his face is muddy and I needed to, I needed to clean them. So prior to that, I did a intense hour and a half of yoga and sweated my ass off. Okay. So I go from

yoga to, Hey, my dog smells and he's dirty. I need to shower with him. So I took care of him before myself got in the shower with my in my bra and underwear washed him down threw my back out okay then I'm like oh my god Jimmy so I I blow-dried him I I was in the shower so I hour and a half of yoga okay hour and a half of yoga drenched in sweat jump in the shower for like 30 minutes washing him and then um drying him okay still not clean myself then puppy needs to walk he needs to go outside we need to finish you know we need to walk before I do anything else because he needs to go and take care of business so then we walk then we walk for 30 minutes I threw on a big hoodie I'm still sweaty and cold I put on my yoga I put my so I was in my brown underwear I put my

hoodie on and my sweaty yoga pants I don't know what happened to my brain cells tonight but they weren't functioning they weren't working and here I am still in my out I'm still in my outfit I walked him I showered with him basically for like almost three hours now I've been anyways so basically yeah I'm freezing I'm also drinking a sparkling water I'm in my bra and yoga pants my sports bra and yeah and I'm I'm cold and I don't know why I'm here to hear that little that little sparkling water here we go let me take my let me drink some water let me just get even more cold so yeah my back hurts I'm still sticky and sweaty for my workout and also I've dog hurt it's all

it's like all over me right now from washing him and uh I've oh fuck on top of that I'm starving So, today's episode is going to be another hangout session, and I don't know, I want to keep this short, I, dude, let me explain myself, let me explain my terrible self-care behavior tonight. um so I you guys are like bitch go shower go eat some dinner warm up we don't care that you're trying to take care of like I'm literally taking I took care of my puppy and now I'm taking care of you guys because I podcast seven days a week and honestly here's the thing this let me explain myself I've been doing the the podcast at random hours of the day and I hate the moment in my night

of my night where I realized like after I do yoga, shower, make dinner for myself, walk Jimmy, chill. I hate the moment where I go, oh fuck, now I got to record. Cause it's like, I want to just go to bed and then I ended up doing it at like 10 30. So I'm muscling through this. Okay. I'm sucking it up because I want to get this done before I chill. There you go. There's the explanation. That was a 10 minute intro about a chain of events that have unfolded over the last few hours. I hate myself. It's all good. Sometimes we fuck. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not going to hate my, I'm not going to say that. Be nice. Be kind to yourself. So should I talk about what I want to make for dinner? Because literally I need to end this episode. I should just say this

and then go take care of business and make dinner and like half of my night. I have no other check at check-ins or life updates other than I was staring at a screen all day okay I was glued to my laptop all day working uh I spent like a good hour on TikTok just forever just staring at it and I don't know I'm at the point now with TikTok where I don't even feel like it's a negative use of time because it makes me so happy I'm like I'm just kind of saying fuck it now with social media I'm like you know what I don't care it's so entertaining I'm on the best side of TikTok right I'm in I'm in a weird I have so many different uh I'm in so many different little niches on TikTok that it's what I don't I don't even know how to explain it like I'm on

aircraft carrier TikTok, cruise ship TikTok, relationship TikTok, uh, what else? Uh, yoga TikTok, which is, like, I don't know. It's not that exciting, honestly. It's just, like, informational and, you know, educational. I'm on golden retriever TikTok, dog TikTok. Every time I see a dog video, this is a changed, this, this part of me has completely changed, uh, or this is a new behavior fuck I'm I'm malnourished right now I'm I'm starved and I can't think straight um say what you want about fasting and mental clear clarity a bitch is a bitch is hungry and she can't think straight I I need some avocados I need some healthy fats in my body right now to make me a better podcast host today no but I'm at this point now where whenever I watch a dog video

i start crying immediately like i get so emotional and i i get i like go oh you know and i get really sappy and sad and i just love dogs so fucking much now that i have one it's not that i didn't before it's just i didn't have that intense feeling come over my body that i do now when i see these cute videos but um anyways see i was on tiktok i worked you know i did yoga okay same shit different day it's Thursday like what do you do on Thursday do you guys go out is it like Friday Eve we're gonna have a thirsty Thursday you go out on the town like oh fuck okay I do have an update tonight when I was walking Jimmy I looked like shit you have to understand I did yoga I was all disgusting I had showered with Jimmy and washed him I went out my baggy hoodie

and my dirty fucking yoga pants and I put on my fake glasses that's my little trick whenever I'm like okay it's too dark to wear sunglasses so I can't put those on but I'm just gonna wear my fake glass because I don't have a prescription I have fine my vision's fine so I put on my like nerd glasses and I had a like greasy ass bun up so I'm out on the walk and he lost like five pounds of shit that he like he shit like five pounds and I'm holding the shit bags afterwards and next thing I know, uh, like five tall, dark and handsome tan men approach me and they came to me. Okay. It was like, they were walking down the street. It looked like they were going out. A lot of them, a couple of them had white pants on. I was like, okay, they look clean. They smelled great. Their hair was

done. Nice. They look fucking great. They look beautiful and put together and just fucking freshly worked out and showered and cologned it was it was a nice it was a nice little boy gang that approached me and um you know here I am looking like shit but I have a puppy okay so I don't know if that was a lesson learned because at that point I'm just like they all kind of look younger too they look like early 20s so I was like I don't give a fuck but they were like oh my god can we pet your dog maybe they were gay I don't know they were like too good looking you know what I mean um they're like oh who's a good puppy who's a good puppy oh and they're like he's so cute oh my god what's his name they were talking then they gathered around me and started talking

about my fucking puppy and I'm sitting there like god damn it I don't want to be seen right I don't want a small talk I got a shower I'm hungry I got a podcast I'm holding five pounds of shit in my hand I'm just like casually holding it I don't care I'm at the point where I don't you know me I'm just like, whatever. But, uh, mom, if you're listening, you're right. I need to start putting myself together. If I'm going to go out in public with Jimmy, cause the guys are going to approach me. You'd never know. Like, cause they saw him. They're like, Oh my God, he's so cute. Right. So they crossed the street to come say hi. And they were on their way down to the, uh, downtown to like probably go out to dinner or something. But, um, anyways, I've been, I there's nothing worse.

like I'm always in the worst outfit and state of like cleanliness when he has to shit. Cause I'll be like out of the shower, my hair's slick back and it's wet. Uh, I'm in like an oversized tee and baggy ass sweatpants and my fuzzy slippers. And he's like, you know, at the door cause he needs to, he needs a shit. And I, the amount of times, like, here's the thing I I'm proud of myself because sometimes I will go put on my cute like dog mom outfit especially if it's during the day uh and I'll put myself a little like I'll put I'll put a lulu zip up and yoga pants and like a dad hat on I'll be like okay I'm gonna like not walk out in pjs but sometimes I walk but I found this secret spot speaking of that I found a secret spot that I think my neighbor's

pissed off that i go to to let him shit where it's like behind my building and uh jimmy's looking at me he's tilting his head like why is she whispering anyways it's this location that's kind of hidden that i can get away with like looking like a complete garbage bag uh i can like go outside in my trash outfits with jimmy and I feel like I'm not being seen and judged and even though I don't know what's been getting into me lately I've been really uh I've been talking a lot about my insecurities or just like my uh public public uh what's it called my like concern of what other people think of me when I'm in public I've been kind of telling stories about that lately I'm like what's gotten into me this

is not my this is not who I am I've nicked that I've nicked that in the ass or I've nipped that in the butt and I'm uh I don't know but I do I do care like I'm not gonna I don't know it's it's so you should you should see I feel like I should start taking I you know what I should do I should start taking um like outfit pics my dog walker outfit pics when I look like that because it's always at the worst time so anyways um I brought that up I think I told that story because those guys approached me and I asked you guys, you guys, you guys, I asked if you, um, are go, if you go out on Thursdays, like what's your going out routine? Cause, uh, I'm curious. Cause I don't have one still cold, still need to, uh, eat dinner.

I have a question. Um, just like a recent thought I've had is this impressive is the fact that I get on the microphone and talk to myself without breaking the chain and uh you know just like stalling and like like I am now like is the fact that I can just talk to myself for an hour every single day of week uh is this a skill like I haven't really reflected on this new hobby of mine or this new passion I found and I'm like because it's not nor it's not normal and I was also like all right I I also thought well if I was on the radio I guess it would be normal because that's what you do for a living so isn't this the same thing but I'm like well Jacqueline these morning talk shows

include a include like five people and they're all having a conversation it's not like one person is carrying the conversation the whole time. I'm like, but then I think of the solo podcasters I listen to. I'm like, fuck it. You know what? Some people can do it. I think I'm one of them, but there, there are moments, there are moments in the day where I go, is this batshit fucking crazy? Is this psychotic because I talked to myself? The struggle. I mean, it is a struggle. This is not an easy, I'm literally this, this whole year of podcasting I'm doing this, this little experiment I'm up to is all about, uh, getting over a bitch. Just get over it. Who cares? Stop getting, you just

let it fly. Do your thing, be yourself. Who cares? Stop second guessing it. And yeah, lately I've been in my head about how I'm, how people think about me in public and also being a podcast of seventies a week. So, uh, at least I'm aware of it now. And I'm like, I don't want to be like this anymore so I'm gonna stop so anyways um so yeah that was my question uh and I'm also a woman you know like who like I I guess it's well we talk a lot as it is so this isn't hard for me but it's also like do well fuck it my stats I don't want to swear so much my algorithm no my analytics show me that I have a 85% to 15% male female female audience so I have 85% males listening to 15% females so I guess that's proof that some men don't mind listening

to a woman speak seven days a week and speaking of that I gotta shout out Brian you're not you're not ready for this brian you're not um i gotta shout you out for uh shouting me out and plugging me on clubhouse last night yeah like 11 30 i get a dm from one of my daily daily listeners um he's a local in san diego anyways on clubhouse we were both in the same room it was called like shoot your shot sexiest singles on clubhouse and it's where everyone like goes up on stage and you know everyone's like checking each other's profiles out and then you shoot your shot at someone when it's your turn and um it was his turn so he messaged me on instagram he's like hey i'm about to shout you out i'm about to do a friendship shot at you and plug your podcast be

ready so it's like 11 30 i'm laying in bed i'm like googling this was my google search i remember this very well. Uh, do puppies have PTSD from being separated from their moms? Like I was Googling, I was like getting in my head and sad. I was like, does Jimmy miss his mom and his, and his brothers and sisters? Like, do dogs still remember that? And are they sad all the time about that? So I'm Googling that and Brian DMs me. And, uh, yeah, I'm like laying in bed, like, ah, shit. Okay. What's about to happen? Cause my phone, you guys have to understand