The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 224- Kielbasa Friday

Episode Date: April 17, 2021

Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

what's up guys happy friday it's episode 224 welcome back to the show hey hi it's jacqueline welcome back to the show happy friday uh hit that subscribe button i'm here seven days a week and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get access to my exclusive content okay patreon.com slash tjms go check it out uh it's friday so every friday i shout i shout out my patrons at the end of the episode and uh that's a lot of fun anyways check it out uh happy friday well let's set the scene i feel like i need to update you from yesterday yesterday um I threw my back out in the shower washing Jimmy and I woke up feeling fine like no issues so I'm recovered I think it was just like a temporary uh strain on

my back that I was experiencing last podcast it was a mess last night I was a mess um I think I should update you yeah I ended up eating tuna for dinner and I just like ate quick I ate dinner and like scrolled tiktok and then went to bed right away um yeah go listen to yesterday yesterday's episode was such a mess uh anyways there's my life update but let me set the scene for you today uh it's Friday I've been working I had my meeting get canceled so I'm doing this instead I have a bunch of half drinking, drinking, half, half consumed, half drank, half drank, half, half drinking. Shit. I've got a bunch of sparkling water here that I busted through half of the bottle on each bottle. I'm trying to find a way to say this. Uh, I've got a bunch of

sparkling waters that are half drink. Fuck. You get it. Uh, I've got sparkling orange and a sparkling mixed berry and then on the other side of my um laptop here I've got my iced coffee and I've been drinking black iced Americanos all week but not today bitch I made a I made a vanilla latte thing with that nut pods creamer I used to tell you guys all about yeah I just like went I went big for Friday with my coffee and um it's so fucking good I know the chemicals and the syrup are going to kill me, but you know, everything in moderation. I don't do it every day. That's what I keep telling myself. I don't do it every day. I don't put the syrup in my coffee every day. So that's okay. Right. I don't want to get in my head about, okay. Like I was going to go on a

tangent about chemicals and food and just like get really, um, I was going to go in deep about it and like get really paranoid about it, but I won't do that. I don't like thinking about it. Okay. I'm looking at a sailboat. No, is that a sailboat? There's a boat outside in the, in the, the harbor. Um, homeless man on a bike carrying a black garbage bag. He's got like, he looked, you know, I feel so bad for these homeless people. It breaks my heart every time I see them with their big, their big, um, they have the, they carry these big garbage bags full of aluminum cans. They take out of the recycling bins around here and I think they get paid for it. Uh, which I, you know, that's kind of nice they have a way to make money like that because everyone's throwing away their

their aluminum cans but and all their fucking LaCroix's all these rich ass millennials that live around me I've been thinking about I'm pretty sure my neighborhood is like all millennials all work from homes everyone's got a fucking fiddle leaf tree and a uh yeah big ass stash of LaCroix's in their in their uh apartments and uh what else do millennials own um and a ring light and if you're a girl you've got a fuzzy pillow like a shag fuzzy pillow and something metallic okay why am I or like glittery in your decor and a live laugh love sign no actually we don't do that anymore that got canceled I was never into that shit like whenever I was in TJ max or home home goods and I saw those signs I would roll my eyes I'm like this is corny as

fuck like it doesn't make me I'm not like oh like it'll be like bless this home and all who enter or like live laugh love you know all those stupid signs and then tiktok all the gen z kids came on tiktok and called out millennials for all of our bullshit and I think those signs were one of the things that they made fun of us for so it's in a lot along with uh skinny jeans side parts and using the crying, laughing emoji, emoji, which I don't understand at all. Anyways. Um, did I even set the scene fully? I told you about my beverages. Uh, I don't know what we're going to do today. What do you want to do today? Like, what do you, should we just hang out again? Um, I could check the news. Um, Oh fuck. When I woke up today,

the first thing I did was scroll on my phone. I grabbed my phone immediately and spent a good 30 staring at instagram and i found like the first post on my feed was uh the latest rogan one about the ufo the the news it says uh the telegraph posted pentagon confirms leaked images and videos of ufos buzzing over u.s navy warships are genuine anyways they look like triangles in the sky and the the images of them are kind of shitty because it's night vision goggles they were used the oh shit jacqueline doesn't yeah okay caffeine just hit taking a deep breath right now mentally i need to think before i speak um anyway so i rolled up i rolled rolled out of bed and saw that but here's the thing when i look

more into it's like yeah this is from this is from 2019 none of these ufo things are getting me excited because i i want to i want a sighting i want something to happen where okay jesus christ basically these are all like all the stories that have come out about ufos are just like oh the pentagon confirmed x y and z about this story so then everyone's like oh so it must be true but it happened in the past i want i want to i want alien footage to come out today and i want like i want it to be a giant news story and i want all you know what i mean and i want the quality to be better i feel like all of the images are just so fucking shitty and and i get it they're usually through some sort of like yeah night vision camera or radar or

i don't know um so anyways that happened i was gonna look more into it but a pentagon official told the telegraph i can confirm that the referenced photos and videos were not taken by navy personnel interesting what did he put on his caption i don't want to get too hopeful but if i'm being honest about this with myself and you folks it really does seem like something monumental is happening maybe aliens realize how fragile okay i feel like let me just summarize the segment there's this uh ufo uh topic with this i feel like we're gonna we're gonna find some crazy shit out in our lifetime and i don't know when but i think it's gonna at this point with all of these ufo and alien

uh articles coming out especially from the pentagon i feel like and like the getting confirmed by the pentagon i feel like it's gonna happen it's just like a matter of when um maybe like the next handful of years maybe the next 50 years i don't know um what was that thing trump sneaked in the the covid bill back in december that that like by june end of june the white house has to release or whoever the government has to release like everything they know or something i don't know i should probably look that up i don't want to get into a rabbit hole this is kind of like boring it's not boring i'm just like i want to talk about other shit but do you know what i mean i want something to i want like i want us to see

like all of us i want it to be like oh fuck you know like um independence day if that makes sense okay so I could do um I could look up the news let me go to CNN let's see what let's see what happened I saw Jeffrey Jeffrey Starr got in a car excuse me I saw that Jeffrey Starr got in a car accident and it rolled three times because he hit black ice he was sitting in the the hospital with a neck brace um my esophagus is getting cut off with this with this position I'm sitting in. There we go. So I hope he's okay. Um, oh yeah. I'm seeing ads for a Theragun or a hyper, what is it? What is this? A hyper, what is it? Hypervolt? A massage gun. Yeah. I was on Amazon. I'm like, I want to, I want to destroy my, I want to like go on, I want to go on my neck with

a Theragun and just get out of all of the knots and my, my traps. Like, I feel like I hold a lot of tension in my head. And that might be because I feel like that's because I have a giant, I just have a big head and a little body. I feel like I've been fucking alien body. No. Um, but I want to get the sides of my neck really good with one of those massage guns. Cause, uh, I don't got it. I got, I don't got no man right now doing that, being able to do that. I don't have an in-house masseuse so you know it's really sad the amount of times Jimmy will spoon me okay this is really really fucking embarrassing sometimes I close my eyes and I can't tell the difference between a dog being behind me and a man I'm like if I didn't know any better

if I was really high right now I would think this is a person I would think this is a person because he gets really up he gets close he gets up in my business on my back he's like glued to me, and he spoons me, and yeah, that's really sad, actually, but actually, no, it's, well, whatever, what was I gonna look up, news, oh, I got CBD drops, I got these, this is, like, a life update, I used to take CBD, sublingual, whatever, like, tincture, tongue drops, and I kind of noticed, noticed a difference, but not really I just feel I kind of felt more real like I felt euphoric I think that's the word I would use to describe how I felt it wasn't like high or anything it's like calm relaxed chill

and I'm really tempted to take this right now but I know that I have I shouldn't combine this with coffee I feel like what's the point of drinking coffee to wake up this morning and uh and taking CBD at the same time I think I'm gonna take this before bed and see if it does anything or like tonight um wait i didn't know i had thc in it what the fuck one one milligram of thc the ratio is 18 to 1 whatever that means high cbd low thc god damn it am i gonna get high from that i think this is for people that don't want to feel the psychoactive whatever effects of weed they just want to be relaxed. I don't know. I want to try. I just wanted to get it. You know, I'm like, whatever. I don't have any, like, I have nothing like that. I don't smoke anymore.

So whatever. I'm going to try it. Um, it's not like I ever, now I have to justify my smoking. I didn't really ever smoke. I had a phase in 2018 and that's it. And then ever since then, it's been like really on and off like once in a blue moon randomly with my like sibling at home my brother um let's go to should I answer questions should I do a random question generator to come up topics to talk about that might be fun because I think I'm gonna if I read the news I'm gonna start getting negative and I'll rant and I don't feel like doing it. It's Friday. I want to have fun. Random question generator. Let's do a couple just to like warm up my brain.

I need some more sparkling water. Where's Jim? Jimmy got a llama. I ordered him a llama. It's a plush llama with a squeaky in it, a squeaker, and he loves it. I named her Tina. and it's so fucking cute go on my Instagram story I posted that or I've been saving all of Jimmy's videos on my highlight of him but it's so fucking cute it's so dirty now like he took a few bites around you know around its neck and it had a white has like the llama's like half white half brown and the white part is brown because he's been chewing on it but whatever I want to start I need just build his toy collection because I realized I was looking at his little blue moose and his duck and I'm like this is a this is child abuse like I'm making him play with old broken completely

empty of stuffing toys like he was just playing with his his duck was deflated he took out all of the stuffing and it was ripped apart and I was just like watching him play with it still like that's that's child abuse I need to buy him a new toy so we're starting small we got him a llama and I have a whole list on Amazon that I've been adding to for new toys for him and I want to get like a bulk um you can buy like a bunch of toys at once so I think I'm going to do that and get get a little basket for him anyways uh by the way I'm watching a this is is me talking about my puppy getting old I hope not I'm gonna watch a movie tonight that got recommended by someone I follow with a puppy the same age as me and she quit feeding her dog kibble because she watched

this documentary called pet fooled pet fooled yeah and apparently I don't know now she makes her all of her food for her dog treats him like a family member she buys the farmer's dog pre-made like like organic or whatever meals that are real food meals for your dog not kibble and I just what here's what I've been doing I've been repeating everything I know from my childhood raising dogs and we fed our dogs kibble my golden retriever he lived to be 14 you know like I'm not that paranoid but I'm curious what the documentary will say so anyways let's do a couple questions here um do I have any people watching to update you on right now um so man bun neighbor it's been a while since I talked about him isn't wearing his hair in a man bun anymore he's wearing trucker

hats and he's letting his hair go down long and he it's kind of fugly it doesn't look to me it doesn't look good but the girl that was coming around like once a week during the beginning of