The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 241- Sickday Podcast :)

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up guys? Happy Monday. It's episode 241. I might, I might have COVID. So we're going to talk about it today. Welcome back to the show. hey guys happy monday do you think i have covid does that sound like covid dude i'm in a i'm in a rough place i'm in a mentally uh am i mentally okay i feel like i'm mentally mentally okay but i'm physically fucking struggling and this is gonna be short and sweet i'm gonna recap my day I literally napped for like four hours um it's rough I I've had a few scares I've had a few

scares of COVID uh shit but I've never felt this ran down and this shitty and I feel like okay the thing is though I can still taste so I'm like okay what the fuck and I feel like my lungs are okay anyways let me let me recap the day let me just get into it fuck it's currently like 9 p.m. and I need to I need to go to bed I'm gonna go to bed early anyways let me recap the day I I'm really you know what I posted a gram I posted a gram and I look all fresh and cute and alive and healthy and vital and if someone okay I don't know I have all these insecurities right and I share them with you I'm like what I'm serving today I literally was like oh I think I said 240 episodes of podcasting or something so if someone saw that and they're like oh let me

check out our podcast this if they listen to this episode they're gonna be like this is it and I feel like I have to bring it, I'm like, okay, I need to bring it, a professional would push through the sickness, they wouldn't mention it, they would just act like everything's okay, and I'm not a professional, okay, this is year one, this is year one of podcasting, I say it every day, the training wheels don't come off until year two, I'm gonna struggle, I'm gonna feel sick, and I'm gonna talk about it, and I'm not gonna fake it, I'm not gonna me a fake bitch, and act like I'm okay, okay, so if you're, if you're new, if you're new, welcome back to the show, or welcome to the show, this is my audio diary, and please hit that

subscribe button if you want to hang out with me every day of the week, I'm here, I'm literally here seven days a week, it's a, it's a joke, it's actually, I don't know if it's, it's, it is what it is, okay, so, okay, I hope you're doing well, by the way, I hope you're doing better than I am, Um, I feel like I need to get tested. I need, or I don't even know what I need to, I, here's the thing. I woke up, let me recap the day. Cut to the chase, Jacqueline, Jesus. Let me drink some water. Um, I woke up, my alarm went off at 5.30 because I set new goals yesterday with you guys on the show. I said this week, I'm going to wake up every morning at 5.30 and go on to jog. I'm going to go on a little morning jog, like the good old days. I used to wake up early

and like, I was a 5 a.m. gym person before COVID. And so this week was my health week, right? Like I'm going to wake up at 5 or 5.30. I'm going to go running. And anyways, the alarm went off. I swallowed or like I felt my throat I had the sensation of sickness was there and I was like fuck this I'm supposed to go running I'm gonna do it so I literally just put on my outfit I had it out I had it set out the day before like a professional and a professional person all these like billionaires wake up at 5 30 and they say oh you got to put your clothes out the night before if you're gonna work out gotta you know preparation to separate separation preparation of separation or fucking I don't know so I was like fuck it I'm just gonna like I'm gonna do it

you know what here's the thing though so I felt the sensation of potentially COVID come across come over my body upon waking up so that was step one and I was like oh fuck and then I had that then I had a thought so for like the first five minutes of awake awakening before I changed I was like oh fuck I haven't taken my wellness formula tablets my I think they're source naturals isn't source naturals I think is the brand I haven't taken my wellness formula tablets in like two weeks and I was like oh fuck like that's I I literally knock on wood I never get sick and I swear to god it's because of those vitamins those wellness formula vitamins and I usually take three a day when I'm feeling sick I do like three every three hours I haven't had them for

two weeks I'm like what the fuck so the first thing I did this morning was buy now I pressed buy now on my vitamins and I have them on a subscription and they're not coming till next week and I was like god damn it so yeah I immediately ordered those so here's here's here was my justification for potentially weakening my immune system even more and pushing my body over like overdoing it and pushing my body on a run first thing in the morning. My justification for doing that was, okay, so tomorrow I'll get the, they're going to get delivered tomorrow. So I'll just like run today, deal with the sickness. And then tomorrow I'll take like 15 of those and I'll be fine. So anyways, yeah, I went on a run. I put on a podcast.

I went on a run. I was listening to the Maddie Matheson, Maddie Matheson podcast, the JRE episode of that. It was good. I was running. They were talking about, it was actually, wait, was this the one what episode was it was really inspiring because they were talking about fat people are being fat or something and as I was running I was like oh I'm never I will it's wild how like I will never get close to that like I don't understand this is a concept that doesn't okay I'm on my run and I'm like listening to them talk about weight loss or fat being fat or whatever because I guess Maddie's trying to get on a I guess he's like he was Joe's like you're talking yourself he's like that was a long uh a long tangent or whatever beat around uh of you basically saying you want

to lose weight and get in shape that's what he was I don't know I was thinking about it I'm like how do people just gain 100 pounds or like 200 pounds or three I'm like after 50 like max 50 are you like I don't know like I'm like I could never just gain like how do you get to that point without I don't know how do you get you know what I mean like how do you just get there and like it keeps happening and then 100 pounds is on you now 200 pounds is on you I'm like wouldn't you want wouldn't you wouldn't you try to correct that or like work out or like lose the weight after like maximum of 50 pounds I just I don't know I think that's more of um, why am I talking about, like, literally, Jacqueline, you have COVID, like, you're wasting

energy on a dumb fucking topic, like, dude, some people have, anyways, all right, so, fuck, so I ran, I ran around the neighborhood, and I have this update, I need to tell you guys, by the way I left Jimmy inside he was like I put on my little salt lamp I put on my salt lamp and then I went running and he lays on my bed with a salt lamp and it really makes him happy and sends him out because he was he was too uh he sleeps in he doesn't wake up that early and like he wasn't gonna go on a run with me okay he's got my airpod case jimmy thank god that's got some rubber around it for some protection there we go okay um my one of my proudest accomplishment in my 20s so far is uh never losing my airpods or like or them breaking or anything so sorry i did i had to go

and take him out of his mouth um see how jimmy's laying on the bed so i have an update about jimmy sorry i have an update about these um neighbors i have or they're like neighbors on the run so they're like a mile away uh every so like i was up at five i think i was i ran by their place at like 5 45 550 and every time i go by this house there's someone outside and it's always a different person and they're vaping there's always like clouds and someone's vaping on the porch and I'm like it doesn't matter if I go by this place because I walk by it all the time and you know if it's at 7 p.m 5 45 like someone's out there vaping and it was odd because this morning there was like 10 people and they all look like they play World of Warcraft and shit like they're

they look like you know um your cliche gamer boy who's like still like they all I don't know if this is like a group home or I don't like a gaming house this is like a tick I don't know it's probably a tiktok house they're they're all probably like vapors or some shit and they do fancy tricks I don't know but it's always funny because I I ran by it and I'm like what the fuck it's 5 45 why are there 10 people out here vaping like come on anyways so that's my, uh, there's a neighbor update. So, uh, fuck, it's Monday. So I, um, basically came back and, um, I don't even know how, like I showered, got ready for the day. I've had a meeting. Um, I don't have an appetite. That's what's weird is like, okay, I feel like I'm

really sick. Cause when I don't have an appetite, I feel like that's bad. Like everything. And so all I had today like I had um I made like aromatic rice I like I put like turmeric and cumin and what else did I put in there uh cayenne like I made a spicy kind of like rice in the rice cooker like a brown rice and I just had that and it was like I feel like when I'm sick it's just I need something bland and like like warm I didn't want soup I wanted rice so I had that and I and I could taste it I purposely added a lot of spices because I was like I better be able to taste this shit or else you know that was like the test and I drank a lot of tea today which is so odd because I fucking hate tea

I just I'm in a bad place again if someone's listening to this for the first time they're probably like whoa this is the podcast this is what she does seven days a week this is what people tune in for yeah hi Jimmy's playing with his llama sorry Jim am I gonna have to take the squeaker out yeah come here it's kind of it's kind of distracting yeah you're crazy okay so I had a meeting and then literally I slept for four fucking hours like I don't even know I I think I was like from around noon and I woke up and I looked at my my phone and it was like it was like 16 o'clock which is or no yeah 16 is four o'clock right I'm a I'm the asshole with military time and there's a backstory with that so I fucking like slept for four hours and I felt like shit

and normally I do yoga after work or I like couldn't work I was just like I'm it's a I'm taking a sick day and I don't even know what else happened what what did I do it for when I woke up I was like oh do I make a coffee and perk up and like try to do shit right now be productive or do I just like keep chilling I took Jimmy out he slept like that whole time like he slept when I slept it was great uh I just like got up I walked around the block a few times with him and then uh I like try to like be I was trying to be productive and do like light shit in my apartment like I um fuck I tried to like do little easy tasks like I did my dishes because my hands were warm um I I just like wipe down some surfaces with some pine salt yeah I don't know what it is

and that was probably you know what that's probably that's probably gonna make me even more sick all those chemicals I'm a slut for pine salt like look I mean I something that really gets me soaked is cleaning supply smell or is like cleaning supply product smell and i used to be vegan i used to like did i really just say soaked something that gets me absolutely something that gets me horny as fuck jesus christ um it's so it's clean okay fuck you know i used to be vegan i'm trying to like tell a story about why i why i use pine Saul now okay COVID brain this is what happens when you have COVID maybe I do maybe I don't we'll find out maybe we won't find out I don't know is that irresponsible do I how irresponsible

was it of me to go outside and leave my apartment with symptoms of COVID this morning and run and I don't you know what there's no way I have COVID like I literally ran two miles and I kind of felt like my throat hurt I was kind of like fuck this but I'm like you know maybe this will get things moving my lymphatic system will move it'll start you know I drink a shit ton of water all day I mean I'm mostly fasted I drink tea fucking a anyways so yeah I used to be vegan and like back in the day I was so into everything being natural organic like no chemicals chemical free like essential oils like I would like put lemon drops in water and like eucalyptus or some shit and make a spray to clean my surfaces and so I'm not vegan anymore I'm like I just don't

I just I drank so much kool-aid like my or my early 20s was a giant like one giant guinea pig experiment with myself like I dabbled in so many different types of lifestyles and ways of living and doing things and as I've gotten older I've just reverted back to like what I was raised with and shit like I fucking use Pine Sol and I love it and so anyways the whole reason I'm telling you this is uh I like nothing makes me feel like I have my shit together more than like the smell of cleaning products specifically pine salt like I'll just dump it in my toilet like I won't even clean my toilet I'll just put

a few drops in it just so my bathroom smells really nice for like five minutes like I literally I just I am probably sick because of ingesting this shit like I'm probably dying of a chemical chemical poisoning Jimmy's still playing with the llama hey bud hey

I know I couldn't play with you much today because I was horizontal and I was tired but like look you really gotta read the room mama's sick can you take that in the other room please thank you you are my sunshine

my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you'll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away we met who did we meet tonight Jim we met what was her uh her name was like Chloe another we met a golden retriever tonight a really cute one I'm trying to find him a girlfriend but all these

girls are way older than him he's gonna be um like I need to find him a girlfriend that's his age in his age group like or younger like a puppy we're gonna get you started young yeah we're gonna find a neighborhood bae for you yeah all these other goldens are like a year old two years old three you know, they're older. Yeah. Okay. So anyways, Pine Sol, fucking COVID. What's today? What's happening? Happy Monday. I heard that DC, there's like a vote that passed to make DC another state or to make DC a state. So I heard about that. I don't know what else to say. So what else happened? Yeah. Like after my, after I woke up, I just like putzed around, you know, I played a podcast I just like I don't even know I just like fucked around and then I laid down and watched

like YouTube videos and after I watched Jimmy and then I made rice and then I don't even know what I like just laid around and dude when you're I haven't been this is why I'm suspicious that it could be serious or whatever is like the when I've had the scares or whatever when I've had like oh my god I can't taste anything or oh I like because I like a weird situation with that I was like oh I lost my sense of taste so I'm pretty sure I've had I didn't even know I've been I felt like I had COVID before but it's never been like oh I'm fucking put out like I'm on my back all day and I really can't do anything so it's uh the energy's gone everything sucks um I just I'm like kind of mad I'm like why didn't I I should have been more proactive and I should have

reordered my supplements quicker but anyways do I have anything else to say oh yeah I like tried to drink coffee this morning and I just like fucking couldn't I was like this is so just not it because sometimes you know when you feel sick you're like I just well I I don't get like I literally never get sick that's why I'm fucking annoyed um but in the times where I've been sick or whatever I feel like this happened I don't know like back when I was in college was like the last time where I had maybe like us I got sick like once a year uh I would try to like psych myself out or whatever I would try to like act like everything's fine like I'd still drink coffee I'd still eat my food that's you know the same

shit I'd always eat I like pretend like I'm not sick and then I would I would just I feel like that help would help it where today it was the opposite it was like everything I was just like I can't be a fake bitch right now the only thing that for whatever reason I was able to accomplish was that morning run first thing and it drained me I feel like I don't know it was it was not the move and I probably I probably ran myself down literally uh even more but it sucks when you want to have a health week or you want to you want it like I set goals yesterday on the show I was like I'm going to do, oh, yeah, I failed, no, I got, sorry, I set goals to, god damn, I still have to read 10 pages, fuck, I set goals to run first thing in the morning, so I did that, so day one,

I accomplished it, but then my other goals were to do, only, I can, I can only be on Instagram, or like only I can only be on social media because I set a timer for 15 minutes every day this week um ask me should I check my screen time today I fucking failed and I you know what it's like I got through most of the morning without it I guess I was just like listening to podcasts and shit but then like this evening I was like I'm just chilling man feeling like shit I want to watch Instagram stories and fucking TikTok and shit so I just like stayed I was just all over all over my phone um anyways so I failed at that now I have to read 10 pages because I'm supposed to read 10

pages every day this week and I have to go to bed at 10 every night if I want to wake up earlier um anyways good talk this is like this is one of those episodes where this is one of those episodes where I'm literally just going through my day like it's like here's like I don't know every little step of my day like it's a daily check-in episode or whatever it's not really like a rant episode i didn't really talk about current events or like anything but i don't want to i don't want to i'm just uh i'm this is what happens when you're sick and you podcast seven days a week and sometimes uh shit happens you know he's currently jimmy pulled out some stuffing

from his llama and he pulled out the squeaker and now it's just him and the squeaker if you hey if you swallow that hole you'll be my squeaker toy and then i'll push on your tummy and it'll squeak inside your tummy can you please do that yeah yeah yeah imagine that can you get them surgically implanted in your dog so they can be, oh my god, that's so fucked up, like, what are these thoughts, are these COVID, this is COVID brain, I'm just saying, I shouldn't even joke, like, people are fucking dying in the, burning, they're being, they're, people are being burned in the streets in India right now, like, it's fucking terrible, I should not joke about having COVID, not, like, oh, I might have COVID, like, Jesus Christ, but why did I just think about

that, like, getting a squeaker implanted in your dog so you could, like, poke them and, like, squeak them like they're the I don't even know what I'm thinking but yeah if he swallowed that hole I mean if I pushed on his tummy I'm sure it would squeak yeah he's getting so big he's about to be six months old um should I look at the internet for talking ideas like current events and shit um oh by the way I have an update on that package that fucking package that UPS attempted to deliver the other day it's still being held at the carrier facility so i can't like they're not going to try to re-deliver it so i have to go to the fucking surf shop i have to walk in there and be and i have to be like hi i'm here for a ups package like they're just

america's gotten too soft i'm one of those people that's gotten really fucking soft about doing errands when it's like inconvenient to go in like literally it's like a two minute drive for me I'm literally just like if it doesn't come to my door I don't I'm not I will I almost feel like there's a there's a piece of me there's a piece of me that's gonna be like fuck it I don't even want this tweed blazer outfit thing and these and these and these uh sandals like I can live without them they can just sit in this and sit in the surf shop and then it'll be like august and i'll remember and i'll be like oh you know i don't know because i'm i'm that just like annoyed that i have to do it i'm just like i just well i'll just leave it there um anyways dude what a

rough start to may you know like covid potentially sick especially like when i it sucks when like you have goals or you're like you're excited about a new fresh week and then you wake up monday morning you're like god damn it but uh i'll get through it i'll be fine i probably drank i don't i don't know i i i'm not a fan of adult bottles like adult sippy cups adult hydro flasks adult like here's my gallon giant bottle thing that says every hour that i have to drink water like I'm just not a fan of those I just don't it like makes I used to have a giant so like I used to do that I used to always have like a big jug and I just like I feel there's it's like too much pressure it's like too annoying I'm like I just hate lugging it around so I'm not

a fan of that I literally just like every time I go in my kitchen I drink a fucking tall flask of water and I probably had two gallons today so I feel like I flushed my system I fasted I didn't have any immune supplements all I had for supplements were my spirulina chlorella vitamin things and then I took some collagen with vitamin c in it I was like oh maybe this will help probably not but um anyways what was I gonna do go on the internet and look at news fuck that, I'm not in the mood, dude, this is, I have so much shit to, like, catch up with, though, from today, it's, like, Monday, I have, like, personal business and work to do, and I fucking couldn't, I don't even know how I podcasted, I could have been a fake

bitch, and I could have, I could, I could have, I should have just, like, slept this day off and then woke up tomorrow morning I don't know record it the next day but the thought of like this my symptoms getting worse and then having to catch up two days or like do a catch up for a day of podcasting but I just I'd rather do it and sound like absolute dog shit and suck at this episode and post it it's it's all about that bare minimum right now like since I hit 200 I feel like the show has gotten so lackadaisical and like I've just kind of I I'm literally just doing the bare minimum like well I said I wanted to podcast seven days a week so you're getting seven episodes and whatever it's it's about the it's

about like the the quality not the or the quantity not the quality or whatever I'm just like get I'm just like i'm a fucking what's like a why did i just think of a t-shirt gun i don't know i'm like i'm a fucking i'm i'm it's halftime we're at a basketball game and i'm just shooting off podcast episode just like at the crowd just like here's another one monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday i don't know so sorry i'm sick sorry this was the episode today but um maybe this is your bedtime story because i'm kind of uh i'm uh calm i'm like my voice isn't obnoxious i'm not ranting i'm not like popping off i'm like this is like i feel like a soothing thing to listen to if you don't want if you don't want high energy jacqueline if you

want like hey what's it like to hang out with jacqueline she feels like shit well here you go and i feel like this was so annoying to hear jimmy squeaker in the background the whole time i i feel so bad like i know he slept all day like while i slept but um don't go by the door buddy i'm not taking you out to take a shit right now no do not go by the door we already shit tonight dude i feel bad that um i feel bad that like i didn't really get to play with him today that much or uh like walk him very far or like get him out and like i didn't he didn't really exert his body that much today so i feel like he's having the nighttime zoomies where he's like i just want to like run around and play get my energy out and is this mom guilt i feel like

this is mom guilt yeah like I'm not providing I'm not giving my son a good life I'm like I feel bad that I had to be selfish today and take care of my health and sleep and be sick and shit so he's got a fat ass yeah he's really getting thick in the base like I mean I already told you guys how his shoulders are widening like he's getting more broad but his he's got an ass on him i mean some dogs have a small ass my dog does not and i don't know if it's because the extra peanut butter i've been giving them i've been feeding them peanut butter by the spoonful lately um i don't know if it's like the extra cows but like you know what i think happens though like with puppies is like a portion of their body will grow

more than another portion and then like it's i don't i feel like that's what happens with him like his shoulders got wide but his ass was small and now his shoulders kind of seem small compared to his ass and then i don't know and then what i'm most excited for enough about um i don't know if it was i body shaming him was i i should not talk about my dog like this it's absolutely uh terrible and disgusting but something i'm so excited about is um seeing his tail open up like his uh furry bushy golden retriever tail get really fluffy because it's it's all like if you look close like all of the fur is growing in a spiral or it's like tight and so but lately like over the last week there's little pieces that are starting to like fray and they're starting to come

out and starting to like but like look a little more fluffy and i'm really excited he's gonna be so fucking cute he already is cute but like when he has i got i got lucky like not all dogs are are created equal not all um dogs are hot and beautiful and well um jesus christ again with talking about my dog like it's a like he's my fucking boyfriend like what is this um is there therapy for this like go to therapy if you are sexually attracted to your dog what am I saying today like I'm not okay Jesus I'm just saying like he is a hot face like if I was in a person and I was another golden retriever if I was Chloe that dog we met today I'd be like that that's a hot that's a hot man and yeah I got lucky it's a really cute

face and yeah so okay well good talk happy Monday hit that subscribe button I'll uh I'll end it here because I just need to get good sleep and like I don't know stay alive for you and you know yeah all right I got it done episode 241 is gonna be titled what should I title this one that ass no I'm gonna title it uh, she's, she's, uh, sick, or fucking, I don't know, like, she laid horizontal today, or she's on her deathbed, am I, like, COVID, I have COVID question mark, I don't know, I feel like I've talked about, like, since I started podcasting in September, I've had like a like three scares because like all of last year I remember like if this this

is what's crazy it's um May right a year ago if I felt like this my paranoia my fear my I would be so fucking nervous if I felt these symptoms like literally a cough like what the I like I coughed like 10 times on this episode like that would terrify me last year I was constantly like swallowing I was constantly doing like vital checks like checking my throat and like a breathe and I'm like okay do my lungs feel like they're at 100 capacity am I do I have are my lungs getting full are they full of fluid like what's happening like I constantly was aware of my like my body like that and uh it's wild how a year later I'm like well fuck it I don't even I didn't get back I didn't get vaccinated by the way just a little PSA uh I don't really plan on it I don't think I

i don't know i like don't i never get vaccines i just like don't or like i never get the flu shot or anything i don't know it's just i don't feel like it i just don't feel like it i don't know uh so yeah it's crazy how a year later i'm like yeah it's probably just a little cold i'll probably be fine but anyways okay happy monday hope you're killing it in life this week I hope you do Monday motivation let's think let's think Monday motivation Jacqueline has COVID and she podcasted anyways because she podcasts 70s week and there you go again I mean I'm gonna manifest COVID if I keep fucking around and saying I have it but yeah and then again another motivation thing maybe or another little like piece of wisdom I don't know is like

also a year ago me a year ago would be mortified she would be like oh you're gonna you're gonna just like not give a fuck and podcast while you feel like shit and post it and not edit it and just talk out of your ass for an hour or whatever and you're gonna deliver this publicly and just like put it out there like no big deal like i used to be so in my head and such a perfectionist and so concerned about, like, how I came across virtually, virtually, virtually, virtually, virtually, like, how people perceive me online, like, I was so in my head about it, like, oh my god, like, I, I was trying to be, I don't know, I never wanted to, like, I didn't want people to ever see me slipping, you know, I didn't ever want people to see me, I don't know, like, I just, like, feel

like I, everyone kind of does that, you put your best foot forward on social media, and my biggest epiphany from 2020 was like dude it's all about closing that gap between who you are online and who you are who you are in person so that's why I don't edit the show that's why I literally just talk about whatever it's as if you came over and sat on my couch and we're hanging out or oh I called you on the on the phone right now and I'm like hey I feel I feel sick today you know because I concluded I haven't mentioned this in a while I concluded that if we're all gonna have profiles if we're all gonna be on you know if we're all gonna be keeping up with other people's lives on social media and like following their shit every day if this is gonna be like a way of life

and a lifestyle um and I already do it like I already posted I already post pictures and content on Instagram like well if that's the case I want it to be I want people to know me like we're friends or whatever like you like I want people I want to give people the most raw version of me and I feel like podcasting was the perfect way for me to do that and so that's why I did it or like that's what I realized as I was doing it it's like whoa this is what it's like to be a online person where people like get you on a on a deeper level and they feel like they're actually fucking friends with you because you share like you're just you you're just your whole like I lead with the podcast like I have my I haven't I have a profile of Instagram I post

stories like Jimmy and shit and like I post selfies and whatnot but like that's so surface compared to like this and so I lead with the podcast like I want people to know me like as a as a oh she podcasts and she does a daily show or whatever and it's like a diary every day and she does like an audio vlog so I want people to be like oh I know Jack like this is how they know me they don't know me because I have like a cute picture and they're like oh that's that girl on Instagram like fuck that that's so um 2018 you know like it's fucking that's so like last that's so like not it's 2021 like we're homies like you're gonna know me as a homie on the on online and uh I that's what I love about so like my favorite people on the internet

are all like majority of them are all podcast hosts legit like almost it's like 99% of the people I love following are podcast hosts and I feel like that's because I've been listening to them talk and I've been like quote-unquote hanging out with them for um for years and so I don't know it's like more interesting to me than just seeing someone post like a boomerang and then oh they're my favorite person to follow because I like how they boomeranged their fucking martini like I don't know and I'm not saying everyone not everyone's cut out for this that's the thing I'm not saying like oh if you do that that's bad I'm just it's like I I'm not drawn like I'm more drawn to people that are I don't know just like fucking being like an online friend for everyone

else to like hang out with I don't know but sometimes I do get I get I do get fresher I'm like, I wish more people let their hair down a little bit, and, um, yeah, but everyone's gotta do, we need, this world needs all kinds of people, and so I'm, I'm just one of those batshit, fucking, crazy ass, crazy ass, uh, lunatics, what else could I, how much more could I degrade, or, like, talk shit to myself right now, talk, like, I'm one of those fucking psychopaths that was like yeah you know I'll podcast I'll talk to people every day I'll fucking do it I'll just like I'll share my story I'll you know I'll create content I'll do it not everyone's called not everyone's called to do it not everyone's cut out for it I just happen to

be one of those people that is addicted to it I'm fucking in love with podcasting and I want to do it I want to I want to retire I want to retire as a podcast host and the cool thing about it is like I get so I think because of that because I'm in it for the long haul I'm not um I don't know why this is now like a reflection segment like I wanted to end the episode and of course I'm not and now I'm reflecting on podcasting I think this the thing that's really um great about or that's like helping me do this seven days a week and like get through it is I I feel like okay here's the thing I said I want to this is my 30-year plan I want to do this forever like I love podcasting this is my passion if I could do this every day like I'm

happy you know what I mean but I don't the thing that works or that's been helping is that I don't put there are no there's no pressure here there's no pressure here there's no like oh especially with the content like I don't put pressure on making it like a I I'm not hell bent on changing the world with my voice and like every time I get on this podcast I give you 15 different actionable or like pieces of helpful advice on life or something like I'm I'm literally just saying hey I'll help the world by providing I'm like I'm your comfy podcast I'm your comfy podcast when you just want to be comfy and chill and hang out with someone I'll be that person like I can offer some uh relaxation and some escapism and some like like companionship to

people and it doesn't need to be rocket science here it doesn't need to be like hey I have a segment that's we're gonna go we're gonna talk about this each on this segment and we're talking about this on this segment and I'm gonna do this on this segment there's gonna be transition transition music and sound effects and like there's no I don't I didn't put any pressure on doing that and so that's why I feel like this works is because I don't feel bad about myself when I end an episode like oh I didn't do good like I just you know so that's what's working and then also like the fact that I'm in it for the long haul makes it like I don't get over I'm not like I'm not inspired I'm not uh what's the word I'm not I don't feel like I don't feel this super

I don't feel a lot of pressure to like come out of the gates strong and like cross promoted and like like in general promote the podcasting at like get like look for guests or like go on other podcasts to like get my own like to help me you know what I mean like so I'm the you get what I'm saying like I'm not trying to um I don't know I'm not like putting a lot of effort into make like growing it right now and I feel like that's why it works I'm just like getting in the habit of it now and getting the reps in or whatever you know that's like a cliche you're like gotta get your reps in and then you know at a year or two or three or five or ten you know maybe that'll all unfold but for in the meantime I'm just like I guess I'm kind of proud

that I I've gotten over the perfectionism hump and I just I just fucking send it every day and I do it and it is what it is I feel like that's the most that's like the best place to be in life where you're just like you're so uh relaxed and at ease with whatever you're doing and it's like oh okay I love this I don't have to judge it I don't have to put extra pressure on it it's just me hanging out with myself and posting it all right great story Jacqueline tell us something we don't know I feel like I repeated a lot of shit I've said before but that's what happens when you do it every day all right love you thanks for hanging out hit that subscribe button and I will talk to you tomorrow.

Hopefully I'm not sick. Okay, bye.