The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 244- Here Comes The Rocket

Episode Date: May 8, 2021

Happy Thursday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? Happy Thursday. It's episode 244. Welcome back to the show. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. happy Thursday. Here we go. My life has been a living hell since 5am and we're going to talk about it. Hi guys, welcome back to the show. Hit that subscribe button. Today's going to be so much fun. I can't wait to share my story today with you about what has occurred since I woke up this morning it is it's a lot okay it's a lot this is one of those days where uh when it shits it storms what's the fucking phrase when it rains it pours when it when it shits it was a shit storm when it shits when it shits it storms it was a shit storm that's what my brain just did I don't

understand myself anyways so yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna do a little audio audio daily vlog about what happened today it's gonna be fun and then and then we're gonna talk about this rocket I don't know if you've heard about this there's something re-entering the atmosphere that was launched into space and apparently they don't know where it's gonna land but it's gonna be landing on the earth back on the earth between I think May 8th and May 11th so I want to look that up I want to find out the latest news about that like I'm paranoid I had nightmares about it last night. I actually got crushed by it in my bed during sleep and it was a great time. So that's actually how I woke up. You know, when you have like your, your nightmare right before you

open your eyes, like I always have the worst dream right before I wake up. And then that, that was it. The rocket hit me and smashed me in my bed. Happy Thursday. Let's, let's go. Okay. I'm drinking a kombucha, a gingerade kombucha. It's the best one. Anyways. Okay. Let me speed you up. So before I get into, yeah, I had a nightmare. I woke up at five. Okay. There's so much to say today. There's so much to say today, but I want to tell you where this week began. Okay. On Sunday, I podcasted, I made a podcast with a lot of plans for this week. A lot of plans involved like, like around, like living a healthy lifestyle. Okay. Like wake up at five 30 or five or whatever and like go on a jog like start my day off right okay so anyways I wake up 5 a.m

on Monday morning with the flu I'm pretty sure I had the flu I don't think it was COVID because I could still taste and smell I'm like I feel like the only well I don't know though I feel like some people get they don't lose their taste and smell but they still have COVID I don't know I literally it took me two days to knock it um so the first two days of the week sucked what yesterday was Wednesday I mean I guess yesterday was pretty like a good day but today oh my god 5 a.m here we go I'm feeling better I do feel like I'm I'm like hoarse like my throat is I don't know I feel kind of like I'm losing my losing my voice but um who cares Jacqueline like let's tell them the story about what happened today um and I know when I'm done telling the

story I'm gonna say this I know I know I'm gonna say this like Jacqueline people are dying like you cannot complain. This is the most first world problem, like fucking privileged, uh, hardship ever of all time. So like, anyways, um, at five o'clock I opened my eyes and I have a, I have a terrible headache, terrible headache. Uh, just like wobbling my head a little bit hurts. You know what I mean? I was like, great. I woke up with a headache. I didn't have any substances in my body. Like I didn't drink a glass of wine. I had no alcohol in me. I don't know why I woke up with a headache, but I did. Okay. Um, so I felt like shit at 5am. I'm like, I'm like, great. I got a headache. So I, um, where was Jimmy? Did he sleep in my room? I can't

remember. Like he always comes in my bed. He jumps up on my bed. Now he's like big enough to do it. And he, he cuddles with me for a little bit, but, um, I've had to cut it short to like five minutes cause he will keep me in bed for another hour. Like we'll just, we'll just, we'll just lay in bed and cuddle the whole morning if I don't cut him off. So yeah, we cuddled for like five minutes and then I'm like, I have to stay committed to this routine. I have to get up. I'm not, I know I'm not going to go on a jog, but I'm going to go on an early morning walk. So headache. I feel like shit. I go, I go into my bathroom and

something happened with the toilet over. I don't know what happened. Okay. So first of all, first of all, before the, before the toilet, uh, I flicked on the light switch and it didn't turn on. The lights were out. The power, the power was out. The power was out, bitch. Five in the morning. Let there be light. There's no, what am I saying? The power was out. And then I'm like, what's going on with my toilet? It had like overflowed. Like the water, water was everywhere. It was leaking everywhere. I'm like, what the fuck? So I can't really see it, but I can tell the ground is wet. And I'm just like, Jesus Christ. Plus I have a headache. Okay. Remember that? And then, um, oh my God, wait, what, what happened after this? Why am I losing my memory?

so then I go into my kitchen and I'm like you know what fuck it I've got a little tiny pill bottle of ibuprofen I'm so bad like I'm one of those people that's like I don't take Tylenol I don't take Advil I don't take ibuprofen like I I don't take anything like I'm always like oh I'll just I'll ride it out I'll muscle through the pain I'd rather muscle through it than take then like fuck up my liver or whatever so and then she blacks out on the weekends actually I don't I actually blacked out, I think I can count maybe twice in my life, so, Jesus, chocolate, anyways, but, like, you know how people are like that, they're like, yeah, I'm, like, vegan, I drink green juice, I'm super, you know, and they're, like, doing coke all weekend, like, okay,

whatever, it all balances out, right, it all evens out, anyways, um, so I downed, like, I think I took 600 milligrams of, uh, what's it called, ibuprofen, it was, like, a pill bottle, I think my one of my family members left the last time they stayed with me it was like in the back of my drawer in my kitchen I was like oh my god thank god I have this because I'm I'm desperate I want to go on a walk I don't want to have a headache during my walk so I took 600 milligrams of ibuprofen and then I took I had a bunch of coffee oh this is crazy oh my god okay so I for whatever reason made my I pre-made my coffee like I pulled I pulled six espresso shots last night before bed like I prepped it for the morning what's crazy is the power went out right and I

couldn't I wouldn't have been able to have coffee if I didn't do that and it's like the it's literally the first time I've done that in a couple weeks because I used to have like a routine of making it every night anyways um yeah I had coffee thank god like in the fridge it was still kind of cold um yeah I guess the power went out like at like 2 a.m I don't know so anyways I feel like this is a boring story I'm literally on here all I'm doing right now is complaining like oh I had a headache the toilet was fucked up the power's out but I had coffee well that's positive um so I like poured a little to-go cup for my walk then Jimmy and I Jimmy and I went on, like, a really long morning walk from, like, 6 to 7 a.m.

I was, you know, my stocks were, it was the market shit right now. Everyone's fucking, everyone's got to pay their goddamn taxes and they're selling everything. I think it's just, like, that time of year. I don't know really how it works, but that's what my brain thinks. I mean, it's looking effing rough. I don't want to swear. Doge is, I'm definitely on the Doge train and thank God for Doge. but, like, anyways, um, fuck, what am I saying, yeah, so that was also shitty, the market's shitty

right now, so that made my day worse, what was the other thing that happened, oh, the power was out, I feel like I'm gonna miss something big, oh my god, oh, I know, I know what it is, we're not there yet, we're not there yet, so I walked Jimmy, oh, I showered, I was, like, maybe a hot shower will make me feel, like, make my head feel better, because I took those ibuprofen, I drank coffee, It didn't go away. So then after the walk, um, I kind of laid down on the couch for like 15 minutes and just rested. It was still dark everywhere. Like the sun wasn't really up. And, uh, I was like, Oh, I'll just take a hot shower. Like I'll start my day off. Right. Like I just took a long walk. I'll shower now. And like, you know, but everything hurts when you

have a headache, like you just don't want to do anything. So fuck. Um, this is like the, I feel like this podcast, like the, the topics I'm on right now are the equivalent of like when people fucking, what is it called? They like go to their, they go to their Instagram, Instagram story and they ask for like, they're just, they're trying to get sympathy. You know, they're like, oh my God, I like pulled my back muscles or something, or I stubbed my toe and oh my God, it hurts so bad. Like, and then they do like a three month series on their, on the pain they're going through and shit. So yeah, fucking A. I'm trying to make this fun. I don't know. I'm just literally trying to recap the day. That's usually what I do, but today's a very negative day.

It's also, it's also gloomy out. Okay. The marine layer never lifted. Where am I at? So yeah, I showered in the dark. I didn't even like candles. I was like, that's just gonna make my headache worse if I have to smell like a candle I don't know um yeah and then I started feeling a little better after after the shower I like got my hair and makeup done and I just like put my hair in a bun but like to me that's getting it done I had to like reset the bun um yeah I put makeup on what else did I do where am I at in the day oh oh shit okay then I went to Trader Joe's oh my god okay so then I went to Trader Joe's oh my god So I went there right when they opened because I have, I have no groceries. Another update,

like from the, at the beginning of the week, I made a list for like for groceries and I never went. So I finally went this morning right when they opened. It's super close to me. So it doesn't ever feel like a big, like, that's the thing about, I love grocery shopping. Right. But like, I get to the point where I'm like, I'm down to just condiments and then like rice in my cupboard. Like I don't have any, and like some weird shit in the freezer. Like I, I, I get myself so down to the bare bones and I'm like, I just need to drive five minutes and restock, but I don't. So anyways, uh, I get there right when it opened with my little list and I like fucking the list was out the window. I walked into Trader Joe's and I'm like, I haven't been here in months.

I started out at the plant section the road I got some roses got some new pink roses uh just got some staples right but then I'm like fuck the power's out I can't get cold items because I don't know if it's going to come back on today and I don't want to have to like I don't know if you keep shitting your freezer I think if the power goes out usually like 24 hours is as long as you can go without stuff going like meat going bad I think or just depend well the temperature you should have a little temperature anyways I was like okay if I buy cold stuff then I'm gonna have to buy a bag of ice because the thing is oh fuck I didn't say this the I got a call from my utility company or whatever the electric company and they said

the power wasn't going to come back on until 11 30 p.m tonight so I was like what the fuck so I'm thinking about the whole day I'm like I don't want to buy any cold shit at Trader Joe's so I just like I literally picked up like one of every of so I got like one each okay one each of each of my favorite things I got one of my favorite things one I got one each of my favorite things okay anyways sorry I'm a fucking I'm a scribe I write a lot I care about sentence structure and words and I suck I'm better uh in the written world than I think I am in the verbal world and I don't know how I'm podcasting and doing this audio thing because like what the hell um am i good at this send me a dm do you think like pet me up gas me up is that what it's called

gas me up let me know if you're rocking with it because like i i can't tell you how many times i finish a sentence on here and then in the back of my mind as i'm continuing continuing on and talking and going through the next sentences i'm fucking uh in my head like oh i fucked up that word I didn't say that sentence right so yeah um fucking a so yeah anyways I got one each of my favorite items shit and it was a quick shop like I just I went through and then I'm like I gotta get to work okay I was like getting texts I was getting emails and shit I was like I gotta get back home to work um yeah where am I at so yeah so I got one of each okay should I tell you what I got, do you give a shit, do you want to know interesting things, things I got, I got the

eggplant hummus, isn't that just, what's that, uh, Greek dish, baba ghanoush, is that what it's called, isn't that just eggplants, what is baba ghanoush, um, Levantine appetizer of Lebanese it's Lebanese is it something you get at uh it's Mediterranean where the fuck's lemon isn't it cooked with eggplant olive oil lemon juice no fucking way it's my favorite hummus at Trader Joe's it's basically this shit baba ganoush um interesting images yeah so I got some hummus I got some rice cakes I didn't get anything cold oh the hummus is fucking the hummus is cold I got almond milk I got that's also cold fuck uh spoiler alert well I won't tell you yet I'm not gonna tell you the spoiler spoiler spoiler alert Jesus um

what else is interesting that I got oh I got some new spices like I needed some more of that everything but the bagel. I got this new Italian seasoning blend. I got, uh, yeah. Anyways. Oh, I got Jasmine rice that I really wanted. Um, okay. So came home, got to work like, you know, typical Thursday. Right. Um, by the way, when I say I worked, I was in my car. Okay. I couldn't like, okay, wait, here was the scene when I came back. So I didn't even say this when I was on the walk everyone was coming out like everyone was coming out early well this was on the way back when it's a little later but everyone was coming out like hey is your power is your power gone too like are we all in this together like people are coming out and no one knew there were no updates

there were no um nothing on the news like no trucks anywhere like nothing there was nothing out on the scene trying to that looked like action was being taken like it was just like a deserted fucking neighborhood of like just people waking up going where the fuck's my power and so I was thinking about it I should have called I think I should have called right because I don't know if these people knew about I don't know if the the city or whatever knew about this what happened or I'm sure they have some sort of alert system apparently it's affecting like a couple thousand people I guess so that's what they said but anyways so yeah uh I came back sorry when I came back from the grocery store it looked like a fucking

parade of electric of elect I don't even know what they're called that the utility trucks or electrician trucks and shit there were like 25 of them all around my block apparently my block was where it went down and I guess underneath the ground something exploded or like broke so they had to like dig holes and shit to fix it and it was a lot of construction and a lot of noise happening outside and so yeah I came home and I was like great how the what am I gonna do with my phone by the way I didn't charge my phone last night so thank god I had my backup phone um yeah what I said in the beginning uh first world problems sorry I know this sounds fucked up, but like I had my other phone fully charged. Thank God. But then I was

like, so I panicked about that, but I'm like, wait, Jacqueline, just go work in your car. Just go fucking, just go fucking set your car with a charger and, um, and, uh, work on your phone. Sorry. I'm getting water. Anyways. So I'm in the car charging my other phone while I'm on my good phone or my back my okay charging oh no Jimmy not my new shoes oh my god damn it I can't how much more white privilege can I fucking sound right now these are my new like super basic white girl um sandals fuck so I'm gonna just I'm just gonna walk and talk I'm better when I'm when I'm in action or I'm not sitting down. So I'm charging my iPhone 12 pro max and I'm sitting in my car and then I'm using my iPhone eight plus or seven plus. Okay. I'm like, I'm like grinding. I'm like,

okay, it's Thursday. I'm a little bit behind. I got power out. I just went to the store. Like I need to get my shit together so I'm sitting there you know doing my thing and I didn't even know what happened wait where did I go oh fuck then I was then I had some more like intent shit to do so and I needed my laptop so I did a mobile hotspot um what I feel like I'm forgetting something yeah so I used a mobile hot okay long story short my uh car battery died okay so and like everyone in the neighborhood everyone was gone they were like all at their offices or whatever they like went to work and so there there wasn't anyone around to jump me and I was like fuck it uh I might get one of those boys on the electrician trucks to uh hook

it up but I was a little intimidated by these guys today they were very um I mean I don't know what it is I feel like I don't care if you're wearing a construction uniform it makes you hotter like any guy in uniform looks hotter when he's in his uniform like even if you're not hot like you look so I was just shy I was like I this is this is literally like 25 men circling my apartment in my block all day and I really needed to go grab a package that was the package of the shoes that Jimmy was chewing and I'm so yeah I have a I have a right to be upset I literally just opened the box um he was already attacking them but um god I'm so all over the place see I needed to drive there my car battery died so I was like fuck it you know what I'm just gonna

walk so what am I even saying so I ended up uh I uh god damn I walked Jimmy was so confused by the way like I just didn't I'd even I didn't even put him in his crate he just like laid around the apartment all day while I was in and out like going to the car going to the store like everything. So yeah, to go to that goddamn surf shop, surf shop to, uh, pick up a UPS package that got held there. And, um, I don't even know, do I have anything to say about that? I don't know. It's just like a very, I'm not going into the surf shop and being around the, the, the bros there. I mean, there was a lot of, there were a lot of employees. I was like, there's not enough business coming in for this many people to be standing around asking me how I'm doing today.

like it's a small surf shop why are there 12 employees like fucking twiddling their thumbs staring at me like as I it's like a Thursday and I came in this afternoon at like 2 p.m like what's happening were they having a staff meeting like I don't know what was going on it was like way too many bodies in the building so um yeah I don't really have much to say oh what that confirmed for me though today going to the the surf shop was what I've known about myself for a long time now and it's that I don't okay I don't have I'm not very attracted or I'm not very um I don't vibe that well with the surfer crowd like the the they're like because some guys surf and it's hot and then like some guys are like it's their religion and they just they they reek

like they're just like they're shaggy ass blonde hairs always down with their little i don't even know what those hats are they wear like you know they just have the whole style with it and they have a whole style with it jacqueline what the fuck are you saying like they're always super tan blonde hair shaggy just very like i don't even know california server voice like you know what i mean you know as a woman i'm not from around here i just i'm not attracted to especially like the skate boys skater boys and the surfer boys are just not for me um because yeah being around some of them are my age I was like I just don't I'm not feeling this there's something about that culture that I just don't fit in with for some reason um you know I don't because I don't

know I'm making shit up in my head now at this point to just talk just to carry on a conversation like I'm labeling shit about myself that's just fucking coming out of nowhere because I'm just like well I gotta say something about that so I don't vibe with the server culture Jesus um I'm so fucking judgmental sometimes when I think about it like when I have opinions about different groups of people out there but you know what I mean like I just it's you know what I think it is it's like the super it's just the super tan long shaggy salty blonde hair guys that with the with those hats on where they like put oh that's what it is when they wear the beanie above their ear now those guys like I can't I can't that's probably all I all I needed to say so I brought

the package home opened the shoes got the new sandals you know I put them I put them on because those are going to be my new dog walking sandals so I don't always have to put on tennis shoes and I don't oh I also I think I told you guys about these shoes like two weeks ago but these were these are the shoes to replace my leopard print fucking cheetah slipper my fuzzy slippers that I keep walking around the block and I just feel like a hoe I feel like a weird like or just like a homeless I feel like a shacker okay that's what it is I'm like why is this girl in slippers in these fluffy slippers you know I'm I always look like I always look like I just rolled out of bed I just go like there's nothing I am I am at my worst I am at my

worst when I'm worst when I'm picking up dog shit and walking around the block so I also got a blazer and a skirt I got a tweed it's like a bluish gray yeah it's like navy it's like bluish gray it's navy um i got a that so it's like white and navy and the skirts it matches it so yeah i have a a new little outfit a little pair of sandals okay cool so let's recap so far we've got a migraine headache headache power out toilet overflowed i did make my coffee uh what was after that um car battery died couldn't drive to ups so i walked which is fine uh i don't know what else is there to say let's just go look up this fucking rocket when is it coming back

i gotta know okay here we go heads up a chinese rocket that might be out of control is hurling back to earth. What you should know. What should we know here? This is USA Today. A section of a large Chinese rocket is falling back to earth and is expected to hit sometime Saturday. Where will it land? Okay. A section of large Chinese rocket is falling back. Here we go again with China. this is all dude sorry sorry let me tone this down so anyways they don't know where it's going to crash but it's expected to crash sometime saturday so sometime this weekend um they said it could strike in an inhabited area experts warn so where it will hit cannot be pinpointed until it's within hours of its

re-entry. This is from the Pentagon. U.S. officials are watching the rocket's trajectory. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin is aware and he knows the Space Command is tracking, literally

tracking this rocket's debris. Debris. Okay, here's what we should know. Did China launch a rocket? Yes. The Larn. The Larn. The Long March 5B rocket carrying China's Tianhe Space Station. That's not how you say it. Shan. Shanhe. Shani? I'm going to say Shani. I don't even know. It starts with a T. I don't know why I'm saying Shani, but whatever. uh so anyways this rocket carrying china's space station module lifted off from uh wang chang space fuck wang chang space launch center in southern i need to take a break this bitch launched on april 29th out of china okay that's what you need to know

next thing you need to know is the chinese rocket falling to earth uh yes and it is potentially not good jonathan mcdowell an astrophysicist at the fuck these big words that's what he said he's also from harvard he told the guardian okay anyways um so saturday's the day um i don't know why i think it's funny that well i think it's funny that it's from china obviously like this is this is this is the thing there's is it wait a minute oh wait i was trying to find out like what other countries are like i was gonna say sorry i thought

what would be fucked up is if it's like oh it will hit the u.s like they knew the trajectory of it will make it hit us I thought oh that's funny because it's from China and then this rocket's gonna fall on the United States but what I'm actually reading here sorry is that there's other places like um New Zealand is that what they're saying it might hit uh wait back to it at the top sorry do you know what I mean like there's uh it's not like it's just gonna hit the U.S. there's it's risky I guess everywhere on the planet but I'm trying to see if there's specific countries that they listed

I thought I just saw New Zealand um one group has made a prediction however the non-profit aerospace corps expects the debris to hit the Pacific Ocean near the equator so not quite us

I mean anyways its orbit covers a swath of the path a swath of the planet it from new zealand to newfoundland newfoundland newfoundland god rest my soul today guys okay um it's roughly 100 feet long and we'd be among the biggest pieces of space debris to fall the earth wow this bitch is big so yeah look out the sky is falling it's fucking chicken little sky is falling okay I just walked away I walked away because my phone was ringing

and there's you know those people out there that no matter who like no matter what you always pick up the phone that just happened so sorry for the little awkward break and the I feel like the the energy level just declined by like half of the previous segment I listened back a little bit I was like holy shit what was I talking about I was talking about that rocket dropping down to earth do I want to keep I feel like I covered that I don't know if I need to keep talking about it I kind of just feel like I could end the episode here I feel like I recapped my crazy day and then you know I guess I feel like what what else is there to say you know what I mean like what else is there to say about the rocket I honestly can't remember what I talked about I just like broke

away on a phone call. I put on my PJs. It's like not even, I don't know. It's like way too early to have PJs on. But anyways, so I'm like, I kind of want to just end it here. Did you guys enjoy this? Was this enough? Am I serving you? Am I serving you enough information for one episode for this episode? Like, did I cover everything? I don't know. I could go on for 10 more minutes asking that same question. Did I cover everything? Did I cover it? Oh my god. Did we complete the episode? Anyways, happy Thursday. Hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week. And if you want to support the show further, if everything I already give you on the show and on my Instagram stories isn't enough you can support the show over on patreon.com slash

TJMS and that'll give you access to my exclusive extra content that doesn't go anywhere else there's some fun videos on there there's like a video of me I think I'm training Jimmy something like a trick and then I don't know I like vlogged in my apartment so you can like hang out with me my apartment on video if you want um in like a youtube vlogger way and not like a oh an insta story way okay anyways patreon.com slash tjms go check it out all right love you lots uh was I gonna I feel like I'm missing something like I think earlier in the episode I said oh I want to do x y and z today and then I'm totally ditching the final topic I don't know I just want to end it. Honestly, I'm done. I'm done. I had fun.

I hope you had fun hanging out with me and I will talk to you tomorrow. Okay. Bye.