The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 245- We Runnin Out Of Ketchup

Episode Date: May 9, 2021

Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up, guys? Happy Friday. It's episode 245. Welcome back to the show. all right i'm gonna say it I'm gonna tell you I don't want to tell you I don't even want to tell myself this I don't want to admit this to you I don't want to admit it I don't want to admit admit it to myself and I've been uh I've been trying to think of 32 different things to talk about besides this because this is the most annoying thing people do on the internet and here it is all right all right here it is okay hi my name's Jacqueline I have a podcast that I do seven days a week uh rain or shine sickness or health um till death do us part um look I'm sick I'm sick

okay I'm in bed staring at the wall with my headset on doing a podcast with my laptop on my lap you know it's just that's the kind of episode it is today this is the official like I'm actually sick sick podcast I don't know what happened I mean I think I told you guys I again I hate when people come to the internet and say oh I'm sick I don't feel good like you know when they talk about their um ailments all over their insta stories and like like I just unfollowed a girl who pulled a back muscle because she was doing a whole series every day on um how she's being gentle with herself and she's doing like cat cows against the wall and shit to like help her spine and then she's at the chiropractor and she's showing like video of her spine getting worked

I'm like shut the like you're doing a whole Netflix series on your back because you pulled a muscle like I just can't so I don't want to be that kind of influencer I don't want to be that kind of person on the internet today but look it's funny how the I could still talk through it so that's why I'm like well I can podcast if I'm sick because I know I can still hold a conversation regardless like even this water tastes weird do I have COVID like here's the thing no bullshit. Monday. I thought, so I had similar symptoms Monday. Uh, I felt like I had the flu Monday. I think I told you guys that. Yeah. Which sucked. Cause I wanted to have a great week this week. I set out this week to have a, like I literally titled Sunday's episode health week

because I wanted to have like a super productive, healthy, like kick-ass early morning run type of week okay so Monday I woke up sick anyways and again I hate I just don't even I'm like what else can I fucking talk about I'm looking around I'm like okay I got my walls I got my salt lamp on I've got my little star projector on I've got my humidifier going uh Jimmy's around sitting here right now just like confused on what I'm doing like I always think it's isn't it isn't it annoying for dogs to hear people talk all the time when they you know what I mean like they're like I'm making a noise that he doesn't really you know like comprehend or whatever it's like if I don't know so he's here so anyway I guess I'll just recap it this is gonna probably be like a 10

minute episode I need to like I need to heal I need to go to bed but I had I had to check I had to check in I should have done this earlier when I was feeling better because literally I woke up this morning feeling fine like the last couple days I've been fine um yeah Monday Tuesday pretty sick Wednesday Thursday most of today fine and then like 3 p.m. hit and I just got this nauseous feeling over that came over my body out of nowhere like out of nowhere I'm just like oh I feel I don't feel good now and yeah here we are in bed all right cool good talk I don't have a fever but everything tastes weird like my water tastes weird I had rice again for dinner like I still have an appetite like I had rice and I could taste it

so okay sorry I don't even know what else to say I'm just gonna like do a quick podcast fuck to do a quick podcast and uh maybe I could tell you guys like what's in my closet or like what's new in my closet that I'm excited about like it was shit in my bedroom like I'm in here right now I might as well tell you about my bedroom because I've never podcasted in here um yeah like one of the searches I did when I felt like earlier was uh what what does it mean when you feel sick but you don't know why or like I can't pinpoint it I'm like I just don't I don't have a cough okay that's another reason why I don't think I have COVID uh and I don't have a fever uh it's almost like let me touch my body um

I ache everywhere yeah that's what it is that's why I think it's the flu like it hurts everywhere kind of hurts like I got hit by a bat oh god damn it is this another COVID symptom physical like body aches whatever let's move on you know what I'm just gonna make it worse talking about it that's that's my biggest thing so anyways I'm annoyed I already told you I'm sick I hate when people do this but here I am um there's that but I think it's also annoying when people talk about being sick it's like look don't if you talk about it's probably gonna make it worse you're like I I like to uh I like to pretend that I'm not uh sick at all and I feel like that helps get but I literally just tell myself I'm not and then I

get better sometimes you can't do that I feel like this the this time it's not gonna work I'm gonna have to ride this out this weekend instead of having a fun weekend but you know what whatever um this rocket's coming back that's that's in the news um the Chinese rocket's coming back to earth there's that the you know everyone's talking about Doge right now and Elon on SNL tomorrow that's like all there is to talk about that rocket's coming back Elon's on SNL people are having like fucking viewing parties for it and then doge is probably going to go to a dollar they say so um I don't know what else there's like what else is in the news what else could I talk about should I yeah maybe should I keep talking about my bedroom um something that

I don't like about having so I have floors I have hardwood in my room and which is great but I kind of don't like hard like I like hardwood floors but they're so finicky like with dust and shit like you constantly have to clean which is fine I oh again I think I've told you guys so many times about my floors am I gonna complain about my floors and floors now am I just gonna complain right am I just gonna make this negative should I just say hi thanks for coming today thanks for hanging out bye that's the podcast like I should probably cut myself off, but no, the thing that's kind of annoying about these floors is they're, they get little dust bunnies every day, every single day, no matter what, I get, I get little

dust bunnies, I have a air purifier in here, I have, I usually, like, I vacuum, and I sweep all the time, but you really have to do it every single day, so I want to get, I think I told you guys this months ago I'm like I need to get one of those little Roomba robots to just go around and clean the floor up because I I think it's because I work from home and I live here all the time and I'm here all the time I notice dirt and I I notice shit because I'm constantly here but um I feel like if I wasn't living here full time and I was out most of the day like I don't think I don't think dust would accumulate as much I don't know it's probably you know what hey Jacqueline fuck um, hold on, let me calm, I need a drink of water, fuck, oh, I know, Jacqueline, you have a golden

retriever puppy, and he sheds, oh, oh, that's probably why that's happening, duh, okay, wow, um, anyways, I also have another thing that I don't like in my bedroom, um, there's, like, a security light, security light outside that's really bright, and I need to get blackout curtains again because, and they installed it after I moved in. So I'm so fucking annoyed because it like shines right on my bedroom, which is kind of nice. Like if there's, if a person outside was trying to break in, they would, they probably wouldn't choose my window because it's brightly lit all night. So, um, Jim, what are you chewing? Is that your peanut butter lid? Come here, bud. He got his peanut butter lid. Um, I, I did something stupid and I

put his peanut butter, I, like, give him snacks, right, so I put peanut butter in the lid of the peanut butter jar, and he, uh, I let him lick it, and I forgot he had it, and then he started chewing it up, so now he's still playing with it, yeah, you're gonna get plastic in your system, that's gonna kill you, dude, you need to give me that back, goddamn, there's blood on it, he's losing tea oh wow okay but anyways the the light outside is kind of annoying and then I also have those blinds every apartment has where like well I don't know every I feel like it's uh like landlords have to put up blinds because I guess it's just like protocol it's like what you have I don't know I don't know the technical shit about apartment or like land like

building apartments anyways um the blinds I have um they're great they're really nice but the one of them is so stuck where I can't open or close it and so it's just one of those things where you're like it's too far gone I can't untangle it I can't undo it and I and I I just need to probably replace the whole thing but it stresses me out whenever I go to like open the window and like I have to like anyways so there's that I'm just telling you guys I'm just telling you guys this stuff right now because I'm in my bedroom so I'm like well might as well set the scene and talk about what's happening in here um I really do like the what's it called those star project star projectors that everyone has on Instagram I feel like it's a Gen Z thing they have the LED

lights and then the the star projector in their in their bedroom but um I didn't know what I thought at first, but it's really nice. I really like it. Um, it's kind of soothing to see the little stars and shit everywhere. Um, wow. I'm really just talking out. Should I just go on my phone and like look at stuff to talk about? Should I go on hinge and look at like people's profiles or whatever? Um, it's funny how I like don't, my Instagram is literally per Jimmy now. Um, oh wait maybe there's some cool oh i have an update um when i took him out to go uh i i took jimmy on a little walk around the block it's like the most i could do tonight there was a an outdoor

projector like movie setup at this auto body shop like i don't know it's literally like a, I think it's like a family business. It's a, it's a really cool shop. I think they detail cars and like, or I don't know, they like wrap cars there. But anyways, I was walking by, um, the, the place while with Jimmy and I'm like, why the fuck is, uh, what's his face on? Um, I can't even think of his name. Dumb and Dumber. They're playing Dumb and Dumber, dumb and dumber on the projector what's his face oh my gosh I can't think right now Jim Carrey I'm like why is Jim Carrey being projected right now it's like oh my god it's dumb and dumber and then these people were at the auto auto body shop we're having a having a little Friday night

movie party and uh I thought that was funny it was really loud too like I mean you could hear it throughout the neighborhood and I thought that was kind of fun so there's a there's a little fucking fun story for you um oh yeah I saw a TikTok with a hot dog toaster in it and I thought damn I need that and I don't even eat hot dogs but I need it I want to now it's like ew okay like and honestly like there's no I just I'm looking at my if you're confused like how did you just remember that I'm looking up my camera roll um for stuff to talk about but anyways um yeah this is like not appetizing looking I'm looking at the picture but basically it toasts the buns the hot dog buns and then

there's two little compartments for the hot dogs so you can like grill the hot dogs and toast the buns at the same time and anyways it's like a thing now on TikTok and good for summer good for you know, just like a nice little hot dog and some watermelon and shit after a pool day. There you go. Get yourself a hot dog. What is it called on Amazon? Visit the nostalgia store on Amazon. Um, so there's that. I took a picture of, um, I screenshotted a picture of my favorite pasta I want to make um okay there's that do you guys want to know what it is because it's so simple I used to eat this all the time at the Italian restaurant I worked at it's literally just spaghetti it's uh tomatoes and it's what am I oh my god

tomatoes and garlic and spaghetti and olive oil like literally it's so simple but it's so good so yeah I took a picture because I want it or I screenshot a picture because I want to make it yeah it's like um olive oil garlic tomatoes in a pan salt and pepper and then you add the pasta that's it maybe if you want to add basil on top uh or you can add basil but um should I just go through my camera roll should I just end the episode I'm like okay so to recap so far i um i'm i'm sick and here's how i here's what i'm here's what i'm gonna say here's what i'm gonna say

nobody's perfect but you're worth it no uh i'm actually saying it this time for real and i'm actually like okay uh it's legit that I'm sick because the like first of all the thought of so my water tastes bad right but like the thought of having to for example like or this afternoon even like walking Jimmy like going outside moving my body like exerting my body in any way sucks and that's how I know I'm actually sick because for the most part if I'm feeling bad I can just I can psych myself out of it and say oh I'm just gonna go to the store I'm just gonna like you know go wherever and like take a walk go on a run like and I can I can like I can sweat out the sickness I can shop out the sickness I can do whatever I can like work I can

but this is the kind of thing where I'm like I physically fucking I hurt I feel like I got hit by a bat so oh well you can still podcast yeah I can't because I have a voice box and all I have to do is open my mouth that's the most I'm exerting my body right now and my brain cells are fucking incredible and they can come up with what they can come up with shit to talk about forever okay and uh it doesn't require a lot of stress it's not a strenuous activity podcasting is the fucking it's the easiest thing I've ever done the easiest and the most fun like I just fucking I don't know I do whatever here I can literally be sick in bed and podcast and anyways um you know and I did have a moment today. I have a little whiteboard. Um, I have a little whiteboard out in

my kitchen where I write the podcast number I'm on each day. And I had a, I had a little moment with it today. And I, and I looked at the number, it was like 245. And I saw that number and I thought. I'm actually proud of you. I'm like, I was proud of myself. I was like, wait a minute. I, I did, I've done that. I have, I've, I've sat down for 245 days and I've produced something. I've created something. I've made something out of nothing. I didn't, you know, half-ass any of this. I did it. And I was like, whoa, I can do anything.

So, I don't know. I just, for, like, the first time, I really had, like, a conscious thought about it. I was like, I'm doing this. I've put a lot of time and effort into podcasting, and it's crazy. And you know what? I did have another thought. I'm like, look, after a year, because the whole goal was to do this straight for a year, right? One year of podcasting, 365 days in a row.

and I did have, I did have a thought that, um, after the year, after September 4th, which is the one year anniversary, maybe I'll, I'll scale it back to five days a week or twice a week. I don't know. Like, I just, I feel like, you know, give, give me your feedback. Let me know. Um, cause I've created such a, um, what am I saying? My chest hurts. Why does it hurt right now? Why does my chest hurt right now? No. Shit. Um, podcasting seven days. I've created a thing here excuse me like a routine with my listeners where every day they see a new episode and they can listen to it right so to go from that to once a week seems a little bit too dramatic but like it's not you know what I can do it I can do it I can do it people have done it I'm sure that's

been done or I don't know but um anyways let me know like do you kind of feel like every day is the same with me here because I kind of sometimes feel like if I listen to me talk every day I'd be like it's literally same shit different day. Um, I dunno. So let me know. Um, so, okay. There's that. What else can I, let me go back to my camera roll. Oh, I took a picture of Jimmy's legs. So like, he's getting fluffy, like his, um, it's really funny how his hair's coming in. Like I really, he's going to probably be pretty, he's going to be really fluffy. Like I can tell but it's funny how like his butt hair is growing in super fluffy like oh like it's the only part of his body that's got the it's like new hair coming in and it's on his butt so I have

a picture of that um oh here's something fun here's a tiktok let's just like let's just have fun right now this is kind of like a corny like thought-provoking tiktok for you here you go as a society we've just decided that vanilla is the opposite of chocolate dora calls herself an explorer but travels exclusively through mapped territories the guy who invented the first invention also invented inventions money is never actually yours it's just your turn with you can never watch a full movie because of blinking okay i'm done you can never watch a full movie because of blinking again it's just like a corny tiktok where you're like whoa like here's another one he's like oh i remember this part taking the first bite of a

burger makes wait the first bite of a burger determines where the front is taking the first bite of a burger determines where the front is anyways um i don't even know what this guy's tiktok name is does it show controversial convos on tiktok yeah what is what is uh what's with that when you have like a a hamburger or whatever and you look at it and you decide like where you're gonna grab it in like the front I don't know I kind of you know what I do oh god am I gonna describe my meat handling or my burger handling technique whatever like if you're in and out and they wrap it I'm gonna puke I literally can't talk about food right now first it was hot dogs sounds hamburgers food just does not nothing it just doesn't sound good I don't want to talk

about it so I'm just gonna get it Jacqueline just be a pro right now be a pro buck up fucking get through it finish your story finish telling them your technique so I feel like when I grab a hamburger unless I'm in and out in and out where they wrap it and they like the top is already determined the front is already determined for you like if I'm at a barbecue and it's on a plate I feel like I so like if the meat is a little bit uh off center in the bun what I do is I uh I go to the the edge where the meat's sticking out the most if that makes sense and the toppings are like kind of like sticking out more than the other side and that's the front of my burger because I feel like the back of it would be able to like

if shit fell it would like not I don't know that's how I do it does anyone does that make sense like the part of the burger that's kind of like sticking out the most is where I take the first bite um because usually if it's if it's off if it's off center a little bit I don't want to eat the opposite side where it's just like bread and you're not going to get anything there so and also um if you eat a taco over a tortilla on a plate and stuff falls out of the taco as you're eating it boom extra taco take the tortilla on the plate with all the stuff that fell out eat that one. That's a second talk. All right, Jacqueline and the episode. I don't know what to do. You know, when you're sick and you have to fall asleep, that sucks. So you're like,

I don't feel good and I fall asleep. I guess I don't. That's what was weird. That's what was weird, actually, this afternoon, when I, like, around three-ish, I was, like, oh, I want to kind of, I feel bad, I want to kind of lay down, right, and take a nap, and, like, I couldn't sleep, like, I couldn't fall asleep, it was weird, I was, like, I feel like I could just take a nice little afternoon nap right now, and feel better, feel, maybe feel better after, and I just couldn't get my eyes, like, I wasn't, I couldn't rest, and I feel like that right now, like, I don't feel like if I just set my head on the set my head on the pillow I knock out I'm not even not even that tired so should I reverse engineer why I have these symptoms like could I go over everything I

consumed this week like I don't think it's a food thing I don't think it's a hydration thing I don't think I think I picked up some dog shit and it got on my hand and maybe I have shit poisoning like what I I have been wearing this is the thing I have my dog walking hoodies I have my dog walking hoodies um hung up on I have three of them hung up on the back of my door on hooks and every time I walk Jimmy especially at night when I'm like kind of it's like colder out I just throw on the hoodie and then I go and you know take them out and then I feel like the edges of the hoodie on the arms are really they're full of bacteria and I'm probably getting that in my I don't know maybe I've ingested that crazy bacteria

I quit washing my hands like a year ago also I think I said this Monday a year ago if I felt like this i would be absolutely terrified i would think i would i'd be like oh shit i'm gonna need i'm gonna need um hydrochloric what the fuck did trump take where's the hookup who knows someone i can get that hydrochloric chloric fucking covid cure cocktail from like i thought i would think oh yeah i definitely have covid oh my god i'm gonna die like i'm gonna i'd be like freaking out about every two seconds I think I don't know but now I'm just like ah whatever I'm ran I'm ran down I probably burnt myself out podcasting every day it took me um 245 episodes though to get to this point um are you scared about this rocket I feel like there's such a low chance of it hitting

me or you like i feel like it's not even gonna go like the path of it isn't gonna cover southern california or whatever i feel like it's gonna be there's this guy though i'm following on twitter jonathan jonathan mcdowell who's tweeting like uh he's constantly doing updates on it so like the latest they're doing like launch to latitude they're doing like coordinates and shit um indian ocean path indian ocean then perth then northern tansmania and then back to wellington how do they i mean apparently they can't um they won't know where it's gonna land but until like a like hours before or whatever I don't know so cool um I literally don't like

let me just see what else is in the news I have no clue I'm like the rocket's coming back that's it um I've already joked about oh I think it's funny that it's from China but you know oh god damn it i don't why did i go to cnn instant triggers instant like look i'm sick this can make me more sick oh the obama's family dog died no bow the his name was bow oh the i could read about the lumber situation we have going on shortages are popping up all over and are over the supply chain gas lumber let me see what else is here wait here we go chicken chlorine computer chips gas ketchup lumber metals steel

are all having a shortage right now well no fucking shit chlorine's on there's a chemical plant in Louisiana that was damaged in the hurricane Laura so chlorine tabs are I guess there's there's a shortage of chlorine chlorine now okay it's a stupid commercial playing in the back I hate that when you go to a website and it's something auto plays I'm like just shut the fuck up oh there's a fried chicken war so what's happening with chicken the fried chicken wars are putting a strain on the poultry population major chains including kfc buffalo wild wings and wing stop are paying steep prices for chicken and

and suppliers are having trouble keeping up demand damn that's proving to be a problem at kfc well they've got these new I keep seeing that another trend on TikTok is people trying out these hot chicken I don't know they're like spicy chicken things at KFC now that's why chicken's selling out well what's which I feel like is there is chicken trending right now for real like I feel like I've seen so much so many videos on TikTok and just like conversations even on podcasts about chicken and spicy chicken sandwiches and like like uh different fast food chains in their chicken sandwich I'm like why is it I just chicken I do like chicken though again talking about food is my is this

for some reason this wasn't triggering me so because I don't know I think this this picture I'm looking at. It's a fast food picture. It's very appealing. Like, it looks really pretty. I'm a slut. I'm a slut for chicken thighs. I don't know what it is about those chicken thighs over the breasts, over anything else. I'm getting a FaceTime. God damn it. Can I pod, I'm podcasting. Can I call you back? Yeah, I sent you three pictures. Tell me. I'm leaning towards just wearing a dress. Okay, I'll tell you. Okay, bye. to pick out a outfit on pictures. Uh, she's going to send me pictures.

Friday night. Some people are going out in a dress right now and I'm sick in bed giving, giving them advice. Welcome to my life. Okay. Um, what else was in a, in a shortage? I thought was funny. Oh, no. Lumber is crazy. I heard they're, um, they're like hoarding lumber or something with lumber. Hey bud, I gotta keep talking to the people. Get your, uh, there, get that. There you go. He's so big. Um, I heard that like they're like hoarding lumber and there's, there's uh there's not even a shortage they're just not uh distributing it or something um sawmills shut down after the economy crash last spring because oh and uh oh wait let me just read the sentence jesus as the pandemic crushed the u.s economy last spring sawmills shut down lumber

production to brace for a housing slump the slump never arrived now there's there isn't enough lumber oh there isn't enough to feed the red hot red hot housing market that makes sense i'm on lumber lumberyard tiktok there's a lot of like conspiracy theorists going on in their fucking trucks outside their jobs like see behind me see all this lumber we're not distributing it we have it we're not getting rid of it there isn't a shortage it's not um i don't know ketchup though ketchup there's a shortage of ketchup ketchup oh there's a ketchup short uh ketchup package packet shortage

the plot has thickened how did this happen it started with the centers of disease control and prevention discouraging traditional dine-in service at restaurants and suggesting more oh it's because that makes sense ketchup packets there's a shortage of those because everyone's ordering to-go stuff now oh isn't that fascinating what happens after you know because of a stupid fucking global pandemic that I'm still annoyed that I got a year hot one of my hottest years of my life robbed away from me from or whatever I think it aged me I did well I don't want to talk about it it just like changed me it made me less um it made me so much more relaxed though I don't

know how to explain it I've never been this relaxed in my life I'm just so like grateful for like the small things and just I don't need a I know what makes me happy now like I'm super um clear on what I need to be uh yeah happy and like what matters most in life and that's just like legit family and that's it like legit that's it family friendships dogs um the end nothing else matters I mean loving yourself having a good relationship with yourself is your first that should be your first priority like take care of yourself get that down really good that's something I'm um pretty proud of um or proud of that's something I I feel like I accomplished in 2020 I, like, had to stare at myself every day and, like, get real with who I was and what I want, and that was really beneficial.

Like, I think the isolation was good for me. At the end of the day, it's a weird, it's a, I think this is a very formative, like, phase of my life because, or pivotal or unique. It's very unique. I think this is and this is that's why I'm like well this is a good time to document my life experience this is a really good time to document my life and what I'm going through because of the times and the weird like the weird times so I think podcasting is perfect like I can I'm always talking about you know life since the pandemic and like what's happening in the world right now and all the fuckery

computer chips are in a shortage I don't care all I cared about here was chicken and ketchup what else is in a shortage lumber it all sucks metals

well here's the thing lithium so oh do i want to go on it do i want to go on a electric vehicle tangent apparently there's only one lithium minor mining lithium uh driller what what do they do lithium in this country like there's a shortage of lithium in this country we outsource like we get all of our lithium from other country other places um but there's a westwater resources i think it's u.s based or it's in that it's in

germany westwater resources u.s isn't it is it's an exporter and developer of u.s based minerals yeah graphite not lithium what's the difference graphite is one of the two natural forms of carbon anyways

but there's a huge need because of all these electric vehicles being made now we need yeah lithium because of the batteries apparently did you guys see that video by the way of Elon in New York City in the Cybertruck like that was fucking crazy I was like whoa that looks like it's 2021 like I don't I think there's a lot of controversy surrounding the design like a lot of

people said it looked like a five-year-old came up with the design of that truck but I feel like when I saw the video I was like this looks like a transformer a transformer movie like a cool futuristic looking cars I don't know like it doesn't look like you're a fucking like Ford F-150 it's like okay this is a futuristic this is a futuristic looking truck and it looks so um I don't know like magical or majestic okay that's the episode I really just I feel like I don't have much else to tell you guys or talk about I'm going to try to sleep and you know get better sorry about this week I feel like um well fuck it I was I was sick on on at the beginning of the week but um

I feel like yesterday's podcast was lit I was feeling good yesterday yeah I was I don't know what happened like here's why I'm here's why I'm annoyed I'm like well I started off the week bad and then it got better and then now it's literally like the beginning of the week again I'm like how do you get better and then get worse with being sick is that a thing because it feels I feel the same as I did on Monday like I knocked something and then I got it right back okay good talk nobody cares Jacqueline no one wants to hear you talk about things okay happy Friday hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week and I will talk to you tomorrow all right bye