The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 248- I Like Your Glasses

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Happy Monday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up guys? Happy Monday. It's episode 248. Welcome back to the show. okay I want to start the episode off with a people watching segment for you it's Monday evening hi welcome back to the show it's Jacqueline I got a Domino's deliverer uh out by uh in my view right now he just pulled up to the curb in a it's like a Toyota Corolla um and I'm a little bit confused why he's been at the door for like 45 fucking minutes like I don't know if he's having a conversation with the people he's delivering it to but like it's odd and I'm a little bit concerned or I'm just curious like does he know these people why are they he's stood at their door with the with the pizza in his hand talking to them for so long like it's probably

cold by now anyways um I'll I'll let you know um once he finally like walks away I don't know was I'll let you know when he walks away and gets back into his car hey the good news is I'm recording this during daylight so if someone walks by my window I can talk about it because sometimes I'm it's either or it's like I'm either doing this first thing in the morning or super late at night and this is a good time because the sun is setting I have a ton of dog walkers out right now um oh shit I forgot my water hold up hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week this is my audio diary welcome to the show um I'm cooking chicken for Jimmy I ran out of dog food and here's the thing I gotta kick off the episode with this too

you know when it rains or when it shits it storms no what's my why do I always mess this up when it rains it pours right so basically uh I ran out of Jimmy's food and I don't have a car to drive to the store right now to buy food for him so I'm making him chicken and I have some other like human food he can have too. Like anyways, but here's the situation. So last week I told you guys, I told you guys the power went out when I woke up at 5am and there was like an entire day. I forget what, I think that was last Thursday, but yeah, the power went out. And so I had to work in my car. Like I was such a jackass. I should have walked to a coffee shop or like driven somewhere, but I sat in my car on my iPhone and worked from my fucking car. The battery died.

the car has been dead for a few days and I still haven't found someone to jump in. Like I haven't even, I haven't been proactive. I haven't been like, oh, I need to get this done. I need to like drive. So I have to buy Jimmy food. I have to buy myself food. I have no groceries. I have tons of laundry to do. And you know, I love going to that laundromat. I'm going to drive to the laundromat as soon as my car gets going. What's the other thing? My meds, I need to pick up I've been off of them for three days if you can't tell dude I need to stop I honestly think I don't need them anymore that I'm so different now like I don't know if it's because of the medication but I feel like the only reason I took it was because of fucking 2020 and

depression so I don't I don't feel like I need that anymore and I'm in a good place but anyways so I have a lot oh wait what was there there's another thing I had to do there's like full there's like a laundry list of things I have to do and I need my car for it so um like return a package I think yeah shit so anyways today's Monday so I thought I would start the week off with a uh by checking the news checking in on the world seeing what's going on I just saw Newsom Gavin Newsom Newsom what's with these last names of governors Cuomo Newsom Who's the Florida governor? Like, I don't know. They're just like, they're kind of a, they kind of roll off the tongue in a weird way. Like Cuomo and Newsom are like, there's no, what's the word? Vowel, consonant, syllable, like a hard syllable, like a T or a D or a V or like a, it's like, anyways. so i saw that gavin gavin governor of california said that there's like a surplus in the budget

now or something and he wants to give everyone who makes less than a 75k a year like a stimulus and it's basically like hey i don't want to lose my job here's a bunch of money like i feel like that's what it is but i should look up i i just should i should look up because i know not everyone lives in California like the general let's just go to CNN to start off things I always start at CNN because I get the most um juice from this website am I I'm still kind of hoarse or like so do I want to talk about being sick I I don't know like I'm I'm holding on to something in my body like a little bug that's lingering and I feel like now my throat like I might lose my voice oh my god I want to lose my voice so bad it's kind of

like low and hoarse right now like it's raspier than normal I can tell but there's nothing there you know when you oh my god I'm so jealous of girls not guys I don't notice this with but girls that have a raspy voice and that's just how they talk so like my sister's best friend growing up like she had the perfect voice like because you know me I get all insecure on here about how I sound and I'm like you know when when you do a podcast or when you put yourself on the internet and talk I feel like everyone hates their voice but um yeah I think I've I've obviously gotten over it at this point but I every now and then I'll like listen to a bit of the episodes and I'll be like oh my god that's my voice that I sound like that I'll never forget this by the way

so one of my best friends growing up after or like during college or like after not like during college yeah we were hanging out and she's like your voice has changed like as if I was changing like I did it on purpose or something and I'm like I think that just happens like I feel like our voices evolve and change as we grow up because like every time I'm on the phone with my sister I'm like oh my god her like or my brother or anyone in my family I'm like I can tell like there's something a little bit different as we've grown up like grown up like there's a little bit of a I don't know so I think that's all it was but here's the thing whenever I watch the card the keeping up with the Kardashians consecutively for like a month I will start

sounding like I will literally like do that whole valley girl thing that um what is it called vocal fry do I have it though I feel like it just naturally kind of fry like Matthew McConaughey Matthew McConaughey is the ultimate vocal fry right is that what vocal fry is his voice like what's his uh all right all right all right I was like what's the line all right all right all right this reminds me i need to i need to read green lights is that what's called his book he's a hot man he dude men age like a fine wine they age so well god damn they they look so good when they're older and that's the thing like i'm so i'm dating of course like it's it's time that i get my

shit together with my life and i date people and i like look around and i actually put myself out there but I'm like super attracted to older dudes but like the thought of like because I'm I think of everything in like in terms of I'm not in it for the short term I'm in it for the long term right so like if you're 45 I don't know about that as far as like a serious relationship because I'm like I don't know you're like you know I don't want that much of a discrepancy in our age because it's like I don't know because but you're hot at that like god guy older dudes are so hot like I remember being six and having a crush on Clooney like what the hell I remember watching Oceans 12 and shit my family loved those movies and um or like Johnny Depp and Pirates of the

Caribbean I was like but no legit like my first who who are my boy crushes growing up am I even gonna read the news am I even gonna do the the segment of the news oh shit let me just go on this for a second like I'm trying to remember I definitely liked or had a crush on Justin Timberlake because of um NSYNC for sure and then but what am I saying oh yeah I'll just say it like I already said it. I reckon I, how are you doing? How's your week going or how's your Monday going? What vaccine did he get? Send me a DM. When I was like six, I had a crush on Clooney or I like thought he was hot as a young girl. And I, and I, uh, that's never changed like that. I don't know. I like, I recognized his attractiveness at

that age and I don't know if that's weird but I feel like you know when you're younger what you like like you it's weird how that is like I'll never forget the first crush I had should I just say his name it's been so long Angelo was my first boy crush in uh kindergarten and the first time I ever felt butterflies for real was with him and I'll never forget the day or the moment it happened he got in trouble in the circle we were all sitting in and he was you know popping off or you know talking or whatever and Mrs. Cole said Angelo you know like you're in trouble like come sit next to me so he had to like sit next to the teacher the rest of the the day and I was sitting next to her of course because I was her favorite and I was teacher's pet I was a try hard and I was

a, you know, I don't know. Anyways, he sat next to me and I was like, I felt something. I was like, my tummy just fluttered and I have a crush on this boy. And he was like, I was like bigger than him too. That was that when I looked back at it, I was like, he was so small. Like he was one of the littlest boys in the class by the biggest, like also my other heartthrob crush. I can't, I don't want to name drop because I feel like too many people know him, but he was also like, he was a baseball player, like in little league that my brother played on the same team with. And he was like little, and I was like a tall, I wasn't that tall when I was, well, whatever. But, and I was like, my biggest crushes growing up were always on the really short dudes, which is crazy. Okay.

Anyways, it looks like, um, uh, Caitlyn Jenner's doing something. This is CNN's top report today our top heads headline jenner calls to protect women's sports yeah isn't she against like the whole transgender population participating in the like the opposite sex sport thing like that situation like what does this say i don't want to honestly i'm i don't i don't i look i don't want to waste my time on a story i don't i don't even care about sorry i'm not even gonna like go further I just read it I read the headline I don't it's not of interest to me like I don't want to sit and read something that I just I can kind of I get the gist of it just from looking at the picture and the thing um I know that might sound bad but like you know what this time is

money or time is I I value my time and so a lot of times I or something a new habit I get in or I've gotten into because of the internet and social media is like hard stopping like if I recognize that I'm mindlessly looking at shit on Instagram like I'm not even really paying attention I'm just tapping around and shit I like my brain will go all right train my I've trained my brain at this point to just go turn it the fuck off like drop your phone like put it away like throw it somewhere like get out of there like go uh look at your bank account or like go look at your stocks or something like go do something productive on your phone if you're going to sit on it so um anyways so there's an example like I don't want to spend time on this story because

you know in the time I took in the time I just took to explain myself there I could have read that but whatever um I was going on my YouTube last night on my TV and I saw something about like a shooting like six dead and i i don't see anything here about that but shit's happening like what's the big news this week i feel like okay last week was all about snl elon doge and the fucking rocket the chinese rocket right what's hot what's hot this week like what's it's may it's May 10 um god I need groceries so bad should I just shop on should I just do something crazy and just get them delivered no I won't do it again I had such a well when I first got my puppy I was in a habit of doing that for two months because it was because I was I was terrified

to go into a grocery store and leave them somewhere like I wasn't gonna leave them at home or in the car or whatever. So I just need to find someone to jump my car or just like call AAA or some shit. I'm not very, I hate car stuff. Like I'm not a good, I feel like everyone does. Like it's always a bitch. It's never convenient to just like go out of your way to go get a new headlight or something or like put a, yeah, like a headlight or a taillight in or I don't mind changed my oil that's pretty straightforward but jumping a car is quick too right but like I gotta go knock on my neighbor's door who's a cool dude he's gonna help me he's got a truck he's older he's definitely gonna want to be the knight in shining armor and he's gonna want to

help me I'll never ask a girl to jump my car I don't know I just don't I don't trust it I don't I don't trust it I don't even trust myself with those cables like I get so scared whenever they like, uh, whenever you start your car, I feel like it's just going to literally, my car will literally become a bomb and blow up and like, ah, so anyways, I mean, last week was the Bill and Melinda Gates divorce story. I never covered that. Um, I need to like change my voice so lately. Cause my disease, I have a parent. I don't know what's going on. I don't, I don't know what's going on. I just feel like I have a bug. Russell Westbrook breaks record for triple doubles. Cool. Oh, this is sports. Should we read sports news? Wasn't there some golf

shit over the weekend? Or should we do world news and talk about Israel and bombs? What do you guys want to do? Sports or bombs? I kind of want to do bombs. Because here's the thing ever since COVID hit last year and all this shit shut down and the world was on fire my view of the world was through that lens like of oh we're in a pandemic we're all kind of in this together some countries had it really bad some places were good like I guess New Zealand or like you know everything in the news is all about COVID right and I feel like I have no pull I don't know I have no grasp on like general world news and world events happening if that makes sense like I just don't have a like I don't what do I say all the time I like to look at the

news just to the world news just to like just to keep a pulse on what's going on like a little like I you know even if I don't read through everything I just like to see headlines and kind of like get the gist um or I'll read like a little bit Israel launches airstrike after rockets fired from Gaza in day of escalation Jesus this is what this is what trips me out so much like sometimes if I really think about it too hard I get I literally will start crying I get so upset or like i just get so it's like i get really sad and really grateful at the same time like people are in a city similar to mine there's a stupid ad sorry uh in a different part of the world like getting bombs just dropped out of the air on them and then all of a sudden their entire

neighborhood is flat flattened and people are just blown to pieces like i'll never forget during the aleppo bombings like the video or the images and videos of those just you'd see like a half a body of a little toddler like someone would be carrying because it was bombed and then split in half like that is so traumatizing i'll never like that era was so rough the isis era and the isis video era and like the the Aleppo bombings and I it's just a it really like I said it makes me so sad and I'm like I'm so grateful but like we're literally just on different parts where we live on different coordinates but we're all this like you know what I mean I just happen to live here and it's safe quote-unquote it's like safe you know um just like the conflict over there is really rough

the gaza strips just it's never i don't how does it get better like i just feel like what did i always say like as long as religion religion is involved these wars will never end that's just like the vicious cycle because of the it's yeah did i ever tell the story of working my job out of college because i just said the aleppo bombings and i literally met iraqi and um students from i guess they're from all over the middle east like syria iraq iran um they came to they were medical students uh studying in the united states and i'll never forget i because my role at the university was to like uh help international students and scholars and teachers adjust to American culture we gave them a nice place to hang out and we put

on all these programs for them ESL classes like all these language programs and activities like I would charter them on buses across the state to learn how to like or like to see how we farmed in America and you know we take them on little picnics and shit and ice skating and you know so anyways i met back to the medical students i met um these guys that lost family in their homes in those bombings and at that time i was on it like i was i was watching that news all the time i was reading about it all the time and i was like they're literally sitting in front of me and they their family is they're gone like or they lost family members and their their childhood homes or whatever they grew up in and that was nuts it was sobering as fuck i'm like

they're trying to live a better life they got an opportunity to come to america and study medicine and holy shit but again it's such a mind fuck to think about overhead like we don't fear when i live in a i live in a city with an airport man and there's planes coming by and and the militaries we have a huge military presence here in san diego and like They're always flying those jets around and the, you know, the commercial planes are coming through all the time. And I never think twice about it. But, like, if you live in a different part of the world, you're like, oh, that might kill me today. That might be a bomb.

That could be something terrible. My life could end. And I just, it's almost like I need to go there to feel, or I don't even know. It sucks. okay what was I even there's literally like a sorry back to the CNN and the Israel news uh I don't even know why I'm on the news today like I I bitch about the news and yet I'm reading it but like it's a love-hate relationship I think it's good to be informed I think it's good to uh I don't know I'm so conflicted sometimes I go on tangents about why who cares this doesn't

apply to you it's not your it's not happening in your neighborhood if this was 1856 you would never know about what's going on over in Israel because you live here and you don't even it's not relevant to you in your life so why do you care like now we can see everything anyways so but I uh usually on a Monday I like to check the news the most Mondays like my I get all my loose ends tight I check the news I like I just I feel it Monday's the day where I feel the most grown up and like mature I'm like one step away from like sitting on my front porch with a with the times and sipping a black coffee with like I don't know loafers on I don't even know what I'm trying to paint a picture like an old lady just sitting on her porch reading the news drinking coffee

I'm close to that Jesus um anyways so there's what I wanted to say is there's a there's an ad is my chicken burning wait what how much more time do I have 52 seconds it smells good that's when you know it's done when you can smell it um pause there's an ad of like a 1950s housewife If there's like, I don't know what the commercial is. It's probably a, oh, it's a cat litter commercial for sure. Because she's holding a cat litter spoon. But I like how this is the ad. She's like smiling in a yellow dress and a fancy kitchen.

And the video after this is going to be the bomb, the bombing in Israel. Or in Israel launches airstrike. Okay, where did they, I just got to play it. But look, I got to get the chicken first. Hold on, intermission before I play the bombing video. Because I don't want to look up sports. Like that's another thing I, I don't pay the closest attention to anymore. Like basketball. I don't really, I like my golf and my football and that's about it. Baseball's a little here

or there. Oh shit. I'm going to burn my laptop. It's sitting on my counter. Okay. Timer off. let's check it oh we're sizzling yeah that's done Jimmy's gonna love his dinner chicken yeah he smell a chicken he's coming up to the oven my uh annoying voice I do with him is like yeah like chicken and then whenever he licks me I'm trying to train him that kisses, I can't do it, kisses, kisses, kisses, kisses, he's doing it, kisses mean, kisses mean kisses, not, don't bite me, do a little kiss, because I'm trying to stop that biting habit he's got from teething, okay, chicken's coming out, can you hear the background noise, like you're here in the kitchen with me, it's a vlog, it's an audio vlog, I mean, now it's 7 p.m., it's perfect

timing dinner's ready she's podcasting Jimmy's hungry I didn't even tell you what I did today but let me just do this news and maybe I'll go into my day and talk about what happened because I mean it was a pretty boring Monday but I might as well mention like some of the highlights like I met a lesbian this morning and she was hitting on me and I thought I was uh I after the fact I was like oh I know exactly what she was doing but like my whole thing is like I don't care that you're a lesbian just don't recruit me just don't recruit me over like I'm it's not happening it's not my thing it's not for me but um I mean she was kind of hot though she's kind of hot but anyways let's play this Israel bombing video and then I'm gonna talk about my day and end this

and eat dinner and then I'm gonna watch that uh WeWork documentary that everyone's talking about because there was a time when I saw WeWork and I was really excited about it and I was like oh my god this is the best thing ever this is the next best thing this is so cool um there's a bunch of WeWorks in San Diego so anyways I'm curious to see what the documentary is all about and let's just let's just do this video i think i have to get through an ad first no you don't and if you're still scooping one of those traditional dirty litter boxes where your cat has i can't skip it to go poop gross it's since you're doing it wrong meet litter robot with litter robot oh my god it's a litter robot

there's always a fresh bed of litter your cat will never have to take a revenge dump on your Five. Four. Three. Two. Done. Okay. Oh, shit. That's really loud. Can you guys hear this? No, you can't. A divided street in a fractured city. Palestinians breaking the fast. A ritual during the holy month of ramadan on the pavement opposite about a dozen mostly young jewish nationalists a blast of pepper spray and a volley of plastic chairs oh my god i want to find the more dramatic part where the planes go overhead

it's like so dark so they're all celebrating they're eating um food together and then a riot breaks out palestinians fight eviction from homes in she she sheik jara sheik jara is that how you it sometimes when i read the news i'm i want to like learn five languages like i want it i'm like i want to i want to be one of those people that's like i know four language i speak four languages i just want to be so worldly and cultured oh my god i am cultured though when i think about it i i am one of those i feel like i am been around i've broken bread with a lot of people from all over the world, I've, uh, I've, uh, you know, picked field, picked, picked in the fields next to, uh, migrant workers from Mexico, I've, uh, like I said, I've met people from the Middle East

that, and I, and I've, like, worked with them, so there's that, and I've been in countries over, well, Europe's pretty fluffy and nice, but why am I on this tangent? I'm trying to find the video of i want something destructive to look at i don't want this like riot where people like people are like egging each other i don't know let me just read it oh shit there's the picture as night fell the idf responded with a series of airstrikes in gaza jesus after terrorists in gaza fired a barrage of rockets at central and southern israel over the past few hours we struck three Hamas terrorists in Gaza the IDF said in the statement okay

I'm just I'm trying to understand why there's like this escalation or there's violence happening again like or again isn't it it's con it's constant I feel like but so for again because I'm reading it again for the first time um we're here we go we are in a fight on several several several dude what's with my little kid voice like I I'm not pronouncing my r's like like little boys are like I'm hungry I'm like you know what am I doing we are in a fight on several fronts Jerusalem Gaza and elsewhere in the country This evening on Jerusalem Day, the terrorist organizations in Gaza have crossed a red line and attacked U.S. with, attacked U.S., attacked us. Jesus. That's literally my millennial brain

where we text, we type things out in lowercase instead of doing it like the right way. And so I was like, well, they just spelled U.S. lowercase and it's literally just the word us. and attacked us with missiles in the outskirts of Jerusalem. Netanjou said, I don't know how to say it, at a ceremony at Ammunition Hill

to mark Jerusalem Day. They said the current conflict could continue for some time. No shit. tension in jerusalem hundreds of palestinians have been injured in recent clashes with israeli police at several locations in jerusalem including it's jerusalem it's all like this whole region is fucking like how do you like i said how do you where do like how does this shit like resolve or get better

or improve like i don't like it does it just doesn't they're just there's gonna be constant chaos and constant um yeah like conflict and issue like bombings and destruction and um um what is i used to be able to speak on this a lot better but i've been so off of it for so long like let me google something really quick so the gaza strip conflict originated with the election of the islamist political party hummus in 2005 and 2006 in the gaza strip and escalated when or an escalated with the split of the palestinian authority of the split of the palestinian authority palestinian government into the fatah government in the west bank this is gibberish to me because i don't know anything

about this or like those names so 2005 was kind of the I swear this has been going on for all all the time like I don't I'm just trying to find some like pivotal um or some historical dates and things that occurred that started all this shit or like uh fueled the fire or or that have kept like kept the fire stoked there's got to be a timeline a majority of gaza's population consists of refugees refugees from the 1948 palestine war and their descendants i don't know you know what i should do is i should read this on my own time and like pull like wrap my head wrap my brain around it all and then you know moving forward I might

I might be able to talk about it if it if I see it in the news better but oh the most miserable city in America this is another headline I just saw um but did I even finish that sentence I'm like oh the most miserable city in America is in California. No shit. What is it? L.A.? What's the most miserable city, CNN? Or this is on the itsthevibe.com. America's most miserable cities ranked. Here's a segment for you. Let's do it. Start slideshow. Can I just tap through? Maybe you live in one of these cities. Plainfield, New Jersey. You know, I don't even need to look at this list because the most miserable cities that I've ever like and it's it's all you know not everyone's cut out for like

a big city or a super urban place but I get so depressed when I go into those towns on a road trip where it's like I'm looking at a corner store and a gas station and a stoplight and like one stoplight and just like a bunch of and like a they have a main street and that's it and it makes me sad I'm like if I lived here because whenever I drive through them and then maybe stop to you know get gas or whatever I'm like if this is my view if this is my life and I live here I would feel stuck back in time because the reason I say that the only reason I say that is because because of like having a phone and having access to all these different places in the world and ways of living and um like better places to live like or with more shit going on you

know and if I live I don't know personally like it's all personal preference but if I lived in a super small like 300 people town I'd be like I don't know I guess it's the whole like less is more a simple life is the motive thing like you're a farmer maybe you're a wheat farmer and you that's what you do and I don't know you're happy and like that's it you don't need a lot of uh pomp and circumstance and civilians around you to have a good life now I like going to that like I like uh you know I like a little I like getaway like I like little getaways little bungalows little cabins you know where you whisk away and you do that shit and it's like you know there's no one around that type of thing's amazing but to live there full-time would

be it's just not for me but with the right people you can live anywhere in your I feel like that's what it's all about people around you make where you live great or terrible just depends who you're around um that's why I'm trying to like make a point how many tangents can I go on should I just I honestly need to feed Jimmy his chicken chicken yeah oh I thought his eye was like rolled back in his head whenever he sleeps he um yeah his eyes kind of look weird because they like his eyelids roll weird and it always freaks me out um what tangent am I on right now oh I'm making a point to be more social with all of my neighbors like it feels good to like like I went out to lunch the other day with um some of like a couple up the street and

the guy I'm gonna ask to jump my car is we talk almost every day like there's a my the people that live in my building like they're you know I run into them all the time and we kind of know each other now and I don't know it feels good and that's why I'm kind of set on I was thinking about this last night actually I'm like I really love the idea of building a life like or like staying planted like built like planting roots and for me right now my 20s it's like I'm on my second year in this in this place I live you know I'm doing it for a second year and I feel like it's good for me because I'm gonna get really used to this neighborhood and the people here and it just like feels better versus like every year like moving somewhere

different and being around new people like I just want to be I just want to like feel like I'm at home and I think you need a lot of time in the same place to get to that point if that makes sense because every year I've been in San Diego I've been here officially three years come June or end of this month end of May I moved in 2018 I've moved one two three four five I've moved seven times since I came here three years ago so you know what I mean so I think it's time that I kind of go okay I love where I live I love the location I love this neighborhood I like my place it's perfect make it a home stick around um because I and the best thing about this um this lifestyle I've created and because I don't know I feel like I've told my story so

often that I'm like well if you're a frequent listener this might be redundant but um I don't know if I want to just like go on a new tangent but the greatest thing about what I've put together here as a you know single woman in her 20s on her own in her own apartment she moved out to California her dream to live here you know she did that thing the best thing is that a family is just a little you know airplane right away like I get home a lot and they come here a lot and it feels good that we're not I'm not like oh I didn't like move this far away and I never see anyone anymore like I have a relationship with my hometown still a little bit and like I get back there often so I'm going home soon can't wait

it's gonna be a big weekend um I think I'm done with the news I guess I'll recap my day I have to tell the lesbian story that's right so I'm just trying to like I gotta you know I want to check myself right now actually I want to check myself and say this because I'm a little bit ashamed like I know I crapped all over shit on tiktokers yesterday a little bit and I dropped I name dropped I was kind of being mean and I was saying it I'm like I know I'm being a mean girl right now but this needs to be said I want to check myself because like obviously like I have pure intentions and I mean well with everything like I don't mean harm I never do I see basically my whole thing the whole

what I do here is I observe the world around me and I talk about it right and I offer up my perspective and my opinions and I whether they're abrasive or not like I say it and and I think what I want to like moving forward or I don't even I don't I don't even feel like I need to explain myself but I I think that developed because of how in I've been influenced by other people that do it and sit and bitch and rant about society and what's happening in the world because i listen to podcasts 24 7 so when i hear other people doing i'm like well you know what's it's not they're doing it and you know it's everyone like it's like part of being a podcaster an entertainer like whatever you want to call it you

you're trying to keep people's attention go like you want to sometimes you got to get controversial or you you don't even mean to it just happens but um it keeps people's ears open you're like and they stick around they're like this is interesting most people don't say this shit but she is that's my role I guess on this podcast and um I just felt I felt kind of I feel kind of sometimes when I'm done podcasting I'm like I'm not mean like I'm not I'm a good person like everyone here's at the end of the day this is what I'll say I don't care I don't give a fuck if you're a famous tiktoker who's famous for being famous or famous for really no goddamn reason other than you have a shit ton of followers like it's just like we're all gonna die someday like do

whatever makes you happy I don't care like I need to start I think I need to tone it down a little bit with my opinions because it's like look people are out there trying to do the best they can including myself and who am I to judge that who am I to pop shots at that you know so I just wanted to say that because I know I get kind of like yeah uh aggressive on here with my opinions and shit and it's fun like at the end of the day like it's kind of fucking fun to just go you know what I don't like that I don't like that I don't like that this is fucked like it's fun it feels good it's therapeutic and not and it's selfishly like on my end like it's a it's like a purge I have so much in my head all the time I'm a thinker I'm curious I'm a little judgmental I

think we all are a little bit and uh like to get it out to say what I think feels so freeing and it's like I don't have to and then to not have the fear because I'm going into this cancel culture this weird new climate we're in without fear of getting like hated on for what I say like I just don't care I think if you that's my biggest uh one of the biggest hurdles I've jumped is like not officially just saying take me or leave me I'm not for everyone if you rock with me you rock with me if you don't you don't and that's okay like I'm not trying to win everyone over and um so it's kind of I'm I'm kind of practicing being bolder than I used to be and I think I've gone to the extremes on some some of these episodes and I and I sometimes I look

back and yeah I feel kind of a little I feel kind of um I don't want to say ashamed but just like I'm, like, sorry, like, if I, like, I kind of do feel bad, I'm a person, I have a soul, I'm not fully fucking, like, terrible, and have, like, my thought, I, I have such a, darn, my brain, I don't understand my brain sometimes, like, I think, and I say this all the time, I don't know if it's a middle child thing, I'm definitely an observer, where i'm always analyzing i'm always observing i'm always drawing conclusions about everything i see all the time and everything's a story to me everything i look at like even that fucking domino's truck guy and he i didn't tell you he left he finally dropped off the pizza and left

like my first inclination when i saw that is like what's happening i'm curious why are you there who are like what do you know these people and I'm like that's where my brain goes and I think that's a it's a perfect fit to podcast because I can yeah be a little narrator and I can tell stories which is the most dude literally all I want to do is sit around with people that I like and talk and tell stories and hang out and when I'm the most happy it's with that it's when I'm with people I love and we're just fucking talking about whatever I know that's trending right now I know that's trending right now I know I that might sound familiar I know that's a familiar phrase like ever like literally everyone's just everyone's on a microphone shooting the shit now

with their friends like that's it's like it's not new it's not groundbreaking but um i think we all do it because it feels good it feels i think it's one of my favorite parts of the human experience is fucking having conversations and talking shit out and putting my thoughts into words period say less jacqueline say less so let's talk about this morning um i woke up bright and early i kind of forgot it was monday it was like I don't know it didn't like hit me that oh it's Monday and is my oven still on no it's not um took Jimmy out on a walk really early I love my favorite thing ever is I I'm waking up about an hour 30 minutes to an hour earlier than I used to my favorite thing is that it's dark out

no one's outside it's kind of cold it's gloomy this the marine layer is super thick and my favorite thing is like making my coffee making my iced americana I'm so in love with my coffee right now I'm obsessed I make my coffee and I put Jimmy's little harness on I usually brush him first and uh what else was I gonna say I just love the mornings I'm a morning person but I'm really becoming that old me again where I love like the vibe of the early morning fresh air is so nice and so yeah I like walked him we we go for about an hour and we have a little path we go on but I guess the the story is we run into this little pug who was really tiny and I thought it was a puppy right because Jimmy's a puppy I was another puppy she's like no uh I don't want to

say the name of the dog I don't know why I feel like let's just call her Carol the fucking dog's name is gonna be Carol Carol the pug uh was like over it was she's like oh she's a year and a half and I'm like that's a fucking puppy don't play with me like that's a puppy and because it was a did I even say the name of the dog oh it was enough it wasn't a pug it was a Frenchie no was it up? Wait a minute. I think it was a, it was a pug. It was a black pug. Are they black? Yeah, black pug. Like they, some of them are all black, right? Yes, it was. And it was, it was literally the size of like 10 potatoes. That's a stupid analogy. The size of a small shoe box. That's even worse uh it was the size of a chihuahua like a tiny dog right and it was a year and a half

and anyways she's small talking with me she's asking me about jimmy apparently her dog she's like yeah no i'm like oh it's on a puppy and she's like yeah it had parvo it had all these like issues with its digestion it could barely eat for the first year so it didn't really grow fast and i was like this looks so funny i'm like is it a teacup pug or something like i don't know it was mind fuck and I don't know if she's doing that to be like I don't know because she's also flirting with me she's complimenting my glasses like this is when you know someone's flirting with you when they pick out something super specific that's kind of like an awkward compliment like she goes I like your I like the lenses on your glasses

like who the fuck compliments the lenses on someone's glasses most people be like oh I like your sunglasses she's like I like the color of the lenses on your glasses so I thought that was weird and then um we were both kind of walking in the same direction and because she had come out of her apartment while Jimmy and I walked by and then I realized that oh we're basically walking on the same path so what happened was you know we started kind of like ending the conversation and then I started walking and then it was like oh she's gonna sit she's we're gonna walk and talk now we're gonna be friends now she's asking me about shit and I'm like okay like I'm trying to listen to a podcast right now like I don't want a small

talk because she I think we were going on the same yeah we even told each other like oh we're going to the same like um like trail thing so I was nice but um I caught wind or I caught a glimpse of the lgbtq whatever harness her pug had on and i was like oh i think i just got hit on i think she likes me which i don't care but you know don't recruit me like i'm not into it but i didn't think about that sometimes i forget that like like what are the like lesbian codes or like not codes but like um do they go after straight girls like how do you or no i saw tiktok i saw tiktok um there's something lesbians do that is like an indicator or like lesbian to lesbian that

they're both gay like they have a thing they do or like a little like or they just know that it's like an energetic thing they feel out they like they just know sometimes you can tell looking at I mean it's pretty obvious of some of them but um I'm literally making I don't know why I feel like I'm um see and I second guess a lot of should I say now because I'm like was that insensitive or is that rude like it's a compliment so someone liked my I my uh lenses and I after the fact I was like oh I think she because she was really friendly in a flirty way for a girl to be like that was it felt here's the energy I was feeling it felt like if a guy was being awkward with me who was trying to like who was flirting with me you know what I mean that same kind of energy

but a girl and I and I am not used to that that's why I'm saying it so I think that's just me being a person reacting to a situation and I'm just telling you so there you go um other than that Today was a great Monday. Productive. Let me look at my tabs. Like, what did I do? Oh, I'm trying to hook up Jimmy with a hotel when I leave. That's going to be traumatizing. Apparently this place serves gourmet meals and they have their own room, private bedrooms to sleep in at this dog boarding place. I was I was on hold for a super important reason today for like fucking two hours so I did that today um one of those things where you just you have to stick it out you have to stay on hold

it's probably like an hour call my mom um yeah I'm just gonna end the episode I feel like I covered a lot talked a lot of talked about a lot of shit um yeah thanks for hanging out thanks for being here. Uh, you know, it's crazy. Let me just say this before I check out. Like I, and I might have said this before, but no one's listening to the podcast. I'm not some big time podcaster. I'm not some big time podcast. Right. So, uh, I consider the, like, if for whatever reason I was like I want to make statements and say things like I said earlier because like I'm or I say things as if there's a shit ton of people listening even though there's not and I'm like worried about shit I'm like worried a little bit what am I saying it's as if there's a stadium

of a hundred thousand a hundred thousand people I'm addressing and there's not you know what I what do I mean what do I mean what do I mean like okay Jacqueline no one's listening why are you making these statements like you're sorry you feel ashamed or you want to like be better at being less uh stark with your opinions and less you know aggressive with your opinions like Jacqueline no one's no one's really listening so like I mean there's people listening the show has grown but it's not like the level of uh I don't know I I want to you know what here's the think that's probably good I don't want to change I want to stay the same forever like or I don't want to like god damn I'm fucking up the ending of this episode I'm not gonna I just want to keep

it classy from from day one I want to do it right from day one I don't want to go oh I'm huge now and or whatever and then change how I act and like care all this or you know in the episode Jacqueline you nope you're on a you're you're in your own head right now no one wants to be here with you because this is just like here's the thing though this episode will always exist it's not going to get deleted so all of them will so you know I consider that like anyone could go back and listen to six months ago. And, and in 10 years, when I'm still doing this, they can dig up all these episodes. So here and there, I got to say, I'm a little bit sorry for my actions. I've been very, I've been a very bad girl. Jesus Christ. Happy Monday. I hope you have

an amazing week. I hope you're happy. I hope you're healthy. I hope you're fulfilled in whatever you're doing with your job or your life or your hobbies. And I hope you love yourself. Okay. Happy Monday. Thanks for being here. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay. Bye.