The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 250- Big Green Tractor ;)

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

Happy Wednesday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? Happy Wednesday. It's episode 250. Welcome back to the show. okay i'd like to do a little toast to kick off today's episode cheers to 250 days of podcasting. Here's 250 more. That's my crystal geyser lime sparkling water for y'all. Thanks for being here. Uh, thanks for coming today. Well, yeah. Welcome back to the show. It's Jacqueline. I thought I'd take a second to soak this in because like, I've never done anything for 250 days in a row other than like brushing my teeth I think yeah like brushing my teeth like what the hell this is crazy I'm starting to well ever since I hit 200 I was like whoa this is a lot of this is a lot of podcasts

I've created a lot of podcasts this is insane anyways um yeah and then back in September I joked about having a two-minute scroll so when you go to the the Jacqueline Monroe show on the Apple podcast app or Spotify with your thumb it would take you two minutes to get down to the first episode because I'd have so many under my belt like I I don't know I feel like it's the whole 10,000 hours thing with me and this show and what I'm what I'm diving into here with podcasting it's like when I played basketball and my coach would say to shoot like every weekend shoot 10,000 free throws or whatever. Like anyways, um, don't come at me with a quality, the quality over quantity thing. I don't, I can't hear you. I'm still doing it every day. I don't

care. So anyways, today I want to think today I want to get creative with my brain and think about interesting shit. So without further ado, um, here goes the random question generator for Wednesday's episode. I'm going to do it again. Usually I do, usually I do this on the weekends, um, during my Q and a episode, but I'm going to do it today. Cause I just feel like sitting back it's 6 27 PM. I want to, um, yeah, I'm drinking a sparkling water. I just walked Jimmy. I want to think about interesting shit and um yeah do the random question generator so and before I do this I might as well mention that I don't really have any life updates today I want oh there's um there there's a thing in San Diego called it's like May Gray yeah May Gray

June Gloom and it hit me hard this May like it's starting or it's starting to hit me that it's um what's it's may what is it may 12 yeah uh dude talking about the weather boring the shit out of people i was about to talk about rice krispies and sawdust and uh now i'm talking about the weather anyways oh man bud neighbor walked by and i have an update about him real quick uh he's walking his dog man bud neighbor cut his hair so he's no longer man bud neighbor I'm gonna still call him that forever but his hair is short now uh yeah he walked by with a trucker hat and there wasn't there wasn't a little uh button sticking out the back so that's how I know he's still wearing the muscle tee and the basketball shorts not sure what's going on with

that but um and I also have my uh another neighbor who just uh walked in the door and I didn't hear him go up the stairs and for all i know they're listening outside my door right now and if you're if you can hear me right now uh hi welcome to the show you're in the audience bitch like legit he walked in the door and usually i hear him walk in the door and then stomp up the steps and i didn't hear him go up the steps and i'm actually should i go look at the people i'm going to I'm going to this might be freaky I've never really talked to him before either hi dude I should just walk out on the street in my slippers with my headset on where'd he go did he tiptoe up the stairs what the fuck I saw him walk in today with a bag from

Panda Express he he comes and goes I never I never stop and talk to him I think he's a law student anyways uh yeah I was about to talk about I'm not gonna talk about the weather anyways it's been really like gray like the the sun hasn't broke through at all today and it's really weird so anyways rice krispies and sawdust uh first question how much sawdust can you put into a rice krispie treat before people start to notice I like this question a lot uh this is a great question I love Rice Krispie Treats Rice Krispies were my favorite cereal growing up and I loved making Rice Krispie Treats I liked melting the marshmallows down with the butter that was always fun and then stirring it was always fun

and eating was a lot of fun Rice Krispies are so so good like what the I need to have those again I haven't had those in a minute um anyway so yeah how much right how much sawdust can you put into a rice crispy treat before people start to notice this is what I mean this question is perfect like this is what I mean by I want to get creative with my brain I want to think about interesting things I want to tell stories and I don't know talk it out whatever I just this is my favorite thing about podcasting I I hang out with I hang out with myself and I uh I yeah I talk about random shit it's really fun so I would say that it's going to be noticeable unless you cook down the sawdust. So here's my strategy. I'm going to approach sawdust because I know the texture

while I grew up out on a farm. I grew up next to a dairy farm and we would actually dig tunnels in the sawdust at the dairy farm. Yeah, I've told this story many times or before. Like as kids, I was probably like less than 10 my age yeah like somewhere around like 8 9 10 um we would go I'm not even answering the question I'm like I'll tell a farm story I haven't told the farm story in a minute we had so there I was um so I was brother and a sister and then our neighbors had three kids and it was perfect about our age and we would like climb to the top of the sawdust pile oh you guys don't even know what this is so at the dairy farm they had in their hay barn um out front in front of the hay was a giant pile of sawdust that uh like a flatbed

not a flatbed truck like a big truck thing would dump in the barn um to fill to fill up the the cow pens with and that's what the cows would uh lay on and the the calves and everything so we would climb up to the top of the mountain and it looked huge because we were little and then we would tunnel we would like dig little tunnels through the sawdust um it's always sketchy it could have collapsed I don't know how we made it out alive um it did it definitely collapsed on us before so yeah there's the sawdust story so my point of saying this is I know the texture of sawdust so my strategy with these rice krispies to hide the sawdust so people don't notice is to cook down the wood in fat I need to cook it down or boil the wood no I also know how to

boil wood in water oh my god I got another story uh when I learned about the Pacific Northwest uh Native Americans in fourth grade I learned that they would boil water and put wood in it or like they would bend wood they would soften the wood with water so they could make clothes out of it and they could make uh yeah like diapers for their babies out of the cedar wood and they used water I think they boiled it with a fire or they just soaked it so yeah I'm gonna do something with like a boiling water or a hot fat I'm gonna dump the sawdust chips in it. And I'm going to, I'm going to go, I'm going to be bold in this recipe. So for the rice crispy treat recipes usually call for an entire box of rice krispies. I'm going to be bold and

I'm going to put a cup of sawdust in these rice krispies and disguise them. So we're going to boil water. We're going to add a cup of sawdust. We're going to add salt. Okay. And then we're gonna boil the shit out of them until it's gotta be like okay you know when you cook down a carrot or a potato like a hard vegetable what is wood like what food is like wood like flat wood yeah like a strong turnip or honestly like a strong tuber vegetable yeah or like a broccoli stock there's got to be something harder and firmer out there what's like a tough vegetable a beet anyways we're gonna cook that we're gonna cook a cup of sawdust down I know I'm being annoying this might sound like a high conversation or some shit for like the

late night like let's tell stories about random weird shit I I don't know this is really immature but I want to think this out I really do like I want to take this seriously so we're boiling this the cup of sawdust with salt water until it softens because it will and then we have to flavor it and this is wood it's got to be it's porous and after we boil it that boil the hell out of it it's going to turn into a soft mush so that at that point we can add sugar I'm going to fucking add sugar I'm gonna add like a half so I'm gonna so boil in water and then strain it when it's super mushy and then I'm gonna add I need a liquid sugar fuck it high fructose corn syrup in the mush this will work because it'll it'll melt well with the marshmallows and the

rice krispies and the butter we're gonna add uh probably a half a cup yeah we're gonna need a lot a half a cup of high fructose corn syrup uh caro brand from i've seen it at vaughn's and i've used it before in a recipe for something i don't know um and yeah we're gonna stir it around and we're gonna kind of boil it and candy it no because it's got to stay disguised we're not gonna candy it we're just gonna flavor it so we're gonna stir we're not we're not gonna have it on heat we're gonna stir oh my god am I gonna title this fucking episode sawdust and rice krispies I think so I love titling episodes because it's kind of like what the fuck and I feel like it's kind of clickbait because of that I don't know um I realized yesterday's episode was

called Costco favorites and I literally listed four things from Costco and for like a 30 it was like a 30 second segment where I mentioned four things I like to buy at Costco anyways um so yeah we're stirring this the fruit high fructose corn syrup and the the softened sawdust chips and then we're doing the regular crispy recipe we're um melting butter we're adding jet puff super fluffy marshmallows um we could food color this shit would that help disguise it better yeah because well the rice krispies and the sawdust are the same color and i know that because it's literally it's they are literally the same color look up sawdust oh my god I gotta do a google image sawdust images my brain is so stimulated right now oh yeah oh yeah you can go

google image sawdust you can disguise the fuck out of this as long as you flavor it with some uh sugar it'll work yeah oh my god okay and then so we're doing the regular regular recipe and when it's time before we add the rice krispies we're adding the sawdust because it'll be a milk it'll be a slimy uh fruit like corn syrupy slimy cooked down wood texture so we're adding that to the butter and then and the marshmallows and we're stirring that around good and oh we gotta fucking we gotta rewind we're putting the motherfucking sawdust in a food processor before we boil it or no, we're going to food process the fucking sawdust after we boil it and strain it to make it a small mealy texture to, uh, so it will hide in the rice krispies because normal sawdust chips

are the size of a, if you chop a credit card up into eight segments, that's about the size of a piece of sawdust. So yeah, after we strain it, we're going to food process it, get it to a mealy texture add it to the butter and the marshmallows and then add the rice crispy stir it around put it in a pan and serve it chill it then serve it done dude I'm gonna answer the question so how much sawdust can you put into a rice crispy treat before people start to notice um I did a cup okay anything over a cup and that's a risk I took a risk I I would say it's not how much it's not how much you put in because you the the limit doesn't exist if you flavor the sawdust and if you cook it down appropriately it will blend into anything

it's a neutral flavor that will hide in anything so um in fact as long as the ratio isn't more than 50 50 i think you're good all right next question um what modern social trend pisses you off the most? Let me think about this one. A social trend. It's the blank for me. It's the, for me, I love watching TikToks, but like when people in real life say those phrases, I get, I don't know,