The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 254- Sundaycast: Amazon Faves

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Happy Sunday! Patreon.com/tjms

What's up, guys? Happy Sunday. It's episode 254. Welcome back to the show. good morning happy sunday welcome back to the show hello hi hi it's Jacqueline I'm stretching I shouldn't be doing this to intro the podcast I'm waking up I just drank coffee Jesus now I'm cracking my back it's gloomy out the weather in San Diego has been really um Jesus now I'm talking about the weather she's stretching she's cracking her back she's talking about the weather this is boring as shit um anyways the weather let me figure it out or let me finish this first the weather has been so gloomy in San Diego because we're currently experiencing uh May Gray you heard it right May Gray what is this podcast

already Jesus we're experiencing May Gray which is a thing here every month or every May the clouds kind of hang over and they don't really anyways I'm done talking about you guys just go google it May Gray June Gloom San Diego um it's a little bit depressing so I'm going to try to not be depressed today and podcast and have fun so it's the morning and honestly like I got to keep it real with you right now I was like so two seconds before I started recording I was like, what the hell am I going to talk about today? Like, what am I going to do? Okay.

So I had a thought that I could take you through an Amazon shopping spree or like tell you what I buy all the time. I could do like what's on my Amazon essentials list or whatever. Like I could do that or I could tell or I thought, okay, I could go through every tab that I have open. and i could read my weird google searches and like reddit uh lists and shit or we could go on buzzfeed and do a quiz um it's kind of like choose your own adventure today i don't really have a plan should i set the scene real quick so it's the morning uh obviously i just said that I went on, I went on a walk with Jimmy. I drank a bunch of coffee. Uh, yeah, he immediately came home while I was shower, showering, showering. While I was in the shower, he found a box.

He found an empty, hefty, uh, ultra, I'm reading it, hefty, ultra strong citrus scent garbage bag box while I was in the shower and he shredded it. So that's off to my right. Uh, you know, one thing I keep saying, this is like a half diary entry podcast where I talk about my life every day. And then a half, uh, puppy or like how to raise a dog podcast or like stories about my puppy podcast. So anyways, one thing I keep saying though, is that the cool, the cool thing that I'm experiencing with him is that, is that Jesus, what am I saying every day or about every month? I'd say, let me stretch that out, push it a little further about every month, a new skill in his body. It's like a video game. He like unlocks a skill in his

body something clicks something happens and all of a sudden like I remember I think the second month I had him he figured out that it's really comfortable to lay on his back so he laid on his back all day long for the first time it was very cool to just like see him do that and then what was like another thing obviously when he first learned how to sit and he first learned how to do the basic like sit stay down roll over that kind of stuff shake high five that was really cool to watch but uh the current level in his body he he unlocks he unlocked in may get your i gotta get my verb tense uh on point right now i gotta regroup what the fuck am i saying i don't know what these sentences are

i'm a words i'm a word snob or i'm a sentence snob i'm a scribe i like words i like talking this is what I do this is my fucking profession so let me have this the level he unlocked in his body or the skill he unlocked in his body for the month of May is this is such a dumb fucking thing to say like this is so this is so or what's it called this is so like stupid he literally can he can shred he can shred things now with his teeth like he can actually destroy things now before may he would take my shoe and kind of chew on it but nothing would happen where now when he chews on my shoe i lose buckles i lose uh my shoelaces are shredded um so those are and then like clothes he will shred my t-shirts

t-shirts. He'll shred my underwear, my socks, everything is like, he's got a better mouth, um, grip now or some shit. I don't know what I'm saying. Jacqueline, just do the fucking Amazon thing. Get off this topic about your puppy. So yeah, I'm, uh, like for example, this garbage bag box, uh, a month ago would have stayed intact if that makes sense, but now it's in a million pieces so anyways he's six months old if you're curious his name is Jimmy Dean named off named after my favorite sausage company and um it's also Dean is also a family name so I thought I'd have to I thought I'd be a good fit for him and uh yeah he's he's the best so okay I'm on Amazon we're gonna go through my orders oh my god this is a great idea right I mean

everyone, well, most people shop on Amazon that I know. What's this? Enter the characters you see below. Sorry, we just need to make sure you're not a robot. For best results, please make sure your browser is accepting cookies. Okay, I've never had to do this before on Amazon. It's always logged in. They're still working on the road outside and my, on the electricity, and for some reason, ever since I started doing that, my Wi-Fi has been so fucked up. It, like, goes in and out all day long. All right. We're refreshing. Password. I got to do another one. NNFE. Sign in. That's not my password. Enter the characters you see. What is this? I don't. Okay. I'm go into my Safari, amazon.com. Please be loaded up. I don't edit. I do this in one take. Sometimes

you get weird delays like this, but it's making me do it on Safari. Okay. Let's do this one more time. E-A-G-M-F-X. Continue shopping. Enter. There we go. We're in. Okay. So I'm going to go to my recent orders. Sorry, we couldn't find that page. Okay. This is a flop. Let me just go on my phone. Why don't I just go on my phone? How are you doing? How's your weekend? What's up? I feel like the Amazon app changed. And so now everything's like, all the buttons are weird. okay so one of my okay i'll just start with coffee i get eight o'clock espresso beans dark italian espresso beans for my uh that's what the coffee i drink every day and then i get nut pods creamer

which i don't even use like i have four boxes of there's like four it's like a four pack and i keep getting these delivered because it's on the subscription thing on amazon and I don't even I I basically just drink um iced Americanos now with nothing in it like I I don't know why I just like I'm in a phase of that so I have all this creamer that I don't use I should probably cancel the next delivery so I get that for that's that's my coffee and then I get this is boring I already feel like I should just not do this but okay I get you guys all know I get my source naturals wellness formula vitamins I swear by them I feel like the times so ever since September when I started podcasting

um or the time since then that I've felt a little sick and a little like a little maybe a little pre-covid shit coming on it's always when I ran out of those vitamins and I stopped taking them I swear by them and then as soon as I take them I'm cured so should I tell a story right now should I tell a story right now should I do this should I say this you guys know okay maybe if you're a regular listener you know about my shrine you know about my 2020 memorabilia that sits on top of my refrigerator in my fucking whole foods basket that I stole one time when I was drunk and I still haven't returned it to whole foods and I don't know if that that's illegal that's illegal I should go to jail I should not be I should be in prison right now for that but I always I can

always take it back right like I can always return it it's like a library book that you forget to return it's a it's a shopping cart it's you know like homeless people steal them all the time it's that bad so anyways if you're a regular listener you might know about this shrine on top of my refrigerator so I'll tell the story again for the new people do you ever do stupid shit and you're like why am I doing this or what's the point of this or what the fuck like I this is one of those things I did or I'm yeah I did it's a 2020 thing that it's it's so fucking stupid it's so stupid and I and I honestly like kind of weirdly love it or I love it about myself that I did this it's so dumb okay so I discovered white claws in 2020 during the pandemic like right at the

beginning when everyone's like I'm baking banana bread every day and everyone's like I'm drinking every day I'm drinking white claws all the time now like I didn't really know I didn't have I never knew what white claws were before the pandemic so I was like I gotta I gotta know I got to try these. So I got a, I got a pack of them, like a, um, a pack of every flavor. I don't know what those like a 24 pack. I don't fucking know. 15 pack. It's an odd number. I feel like it'd be 16, 12 pack. I don't know. I don't know how these things are packaged, but I got a bunch of white claws and I blasted through them. Uh, mango is my favorite flavor followed by black cherry if you're curious and yeah I drank white claws and that was it I had my day with those

and then I don't know I'm not a if you're also a new listener why do I always have to say if you're new if you're old like whatever I'm not a big like I like to drink um like I love a glass of wine while I cook dinner like I'm a I'm a very I don't drink a lot I don't even think to buy alcohol if that makes sense like I I'll get in a I'll go in a phase of like oh I want to have a glass of wine every night and then I'll be out of that phase for like three months like if that makes sense so it was unusual for me to just like buy white claws and then drink them every night so um I feel like because alcohol alcoholism runs in my family I have to like I'm like weird about like I have to explain myself like I'm not I swear to god I'm not an alcoholic I'm not an

alcoholic i'm not i'm really not um i feel like alcoholics say this though i swear i don't i don't drink um i'm being honest i'm being honest so anyways so in the in the whole foods basket i have an entire that entire pack of white claws empty like the empty cans are sitting in it followed by and the the reason why i'm even bringing this up is because i'm on amazon and i i take those vitamins all the time every single day i take them so those so those um so then i have about 20 bottles of source natural source natural's wellness formula tablets mixed in with the white claw cans and guys have you guys have to understand this to me it's like art it's like this is gonna this is this needs to be a sculpture and there's more

to it. Like we're only halfway through this basket. This represents 2020 and the chaos that was 2020. I've got my white claws. I've got my immune support vitamins. Next, the third layer in the basket. Fuck it. We got bottles of fucking Zach. We got the Prozac. Okay. I started taking that last year um I I sought out therapy I got on some meds I it was I was I was depressed as fuck and I never and I and I've struggled with depression I think I've had um or what's it called situational type depression here and there throughout my life and not to be dramatic but I feel like that that chain it changed my life in the in a good way like I'm glad I finally got over my fear of taking medications and you know not doing something naturally and it's like yeah I

got on a little antidepressant okay I know it's like Jacqueline we'll just like go on a on a run or like go eat healthy and drink green juice and like just like meditate and like don't be depressed and like do all the good things like understand like I know I know but I I do that shit and I'm depressed so it's like something I have a chemical thing it's like a what is it called a your my serotonin is like naturally just like a wilted flower compared to like a normal person so like okay so there's like bottles of zac prozac on top of the vitamins and the white claws this is like an interesting concoction final layer the cherry on top in this basket are a bunch of fucking masks a bunch of blue masks with makeup all over them

and just bullshit and contamination and diseases from breathing in i don't even know what in public and wearing those so and i said this at the beginning of telling the story like i don't like this is so fucking stupid like why did i do this why did i collect like why didn't i just throw this shit away you know what I mean like why did I hoard it and why did I keep it and why did I put it in this basket above my fridge like I think it was because it was close to my vitamin drawer and then oh the white closet it started off as a joke because I wanted to yeah make something artistic with white claws like I don't know it was it was the pandemic I wanted to be art I wanted to get some hot glue or something and like create a a funny art piece with them

I don't know I don't know so I kept them for that and I kept them in that basket and so anyways let me move on there's the story there's my that's my 2020 shrine I feel like I don't know it's just like funny to look at all those things combined together it's just like it's it's a lot of it's very chaotic and it's very fun to me it's funny so uh not like I want to remember 2020 but if I had to I think that's the best way that's like how I would do it some memorable memorabilia uh shit okay we got oh I was on my phone looking at my list because my wi-fi is out another thing I get all the time from Amazon let's see here oh my almond oil and my lupiderm so I get I put so after I shower every day sometimes twice a day I put on um obviously

lotion and then I combine my lupiderm it's like what my grandparents use I think that's why I keep buying it it reminds me of their house my lubriderm daily moisture hydrate hydrational hydrating body lotion mixed with my now solutions sweet almond oil it's a I don't know it's a good combo and I feel like it makes especially if it's the like during the summertime when I get really um like when my skin gets really just like fried or like dry or whatever and like if I get a little sunburn it really helps soothe it so okay let's see what else I don't know how many things I literally buy so much shit on Amazon let me look here rose hip oil for my face that's something I use every night um puppy treats pine salt I'm a I'm a I'm a slut for pine I think I've told

my Pine Sol story I'm not gonna repeat it I keep saying I podcast 70s a week it's obnoxious and so I buy Pine Sol to clean my house I love the smell I know it's like smelling gasoline and it's not good for me but I love it and I keep buying it and um it is what it is so I use Pine Sol dude switch switch over to Pine Sol and see how you like it and send me a DM like it it's kind of a, you know what it is? I feel like, well, first of all, I used it to clean my toilets as a kid or like my bathroom when I was a kid. Um, I used Pine Sol to do chores as a kid. And I remember dumping it in my toilet. And so the smell is very nostalgic to me. It reminds me of like growing up. I don't know.

and and I love when I walk into my apartment and I can kind of smell that lingering pine saw set in the air it makes me feel like my house is cleaner than it is like I could I could literally just dump it in the toilet and not do anything and it would make my entire apartment smell good and smell fresh so I get pine saw um like how many more things again how many more things can I list here? Should I just do a BuzzFeed quiz? Um, razors, Jesus. Baby wipes for, I got those for Jimmy's paws and I never used them. Do you guys use baby wipes or toilet paper or both? I feel like you got to have both. Um, I don't know if this is TMI, but that's what we do here sometimes. But like, I like both. Um, just depends on, you know,

what you're doing on the toilet, but I think if you're an adult out there, you're not taking advantage of a baby wipe when it's an available option for you to wipe your ass, what are you doing? It's like driving, it's like, what would I compare that to? Let me look around. It's like, the fucking horse and carriage versus the ford model t bitch it's like the upgrade it's like the better version you know what i mean it's like the dude it's like the toilet paper is prehistoric and then the fucking baby wipes are new age and better okay i'm uncomfortable by this conversation. Oh, I have a story to tell. Holy shit. I jumped in a dumpster. Oh my God. I jumped in a dumpster. So when I was doing my laundry, guys, I dumpster dove. And I'm saying this because

on my Amazon list, I've got a vacuum cleaner coming this Wednesday. So anyways, I was doing my laundry. As you know, I go to the laundromat. I'm obsessed with my laundromat. I love going there every weekend and I was walking Jimmy while I was waiting and I locked eyes with a rug and I and I saw it and I thought that's a good fucking rug I know a good rug when I see him when I see it and it was hanging out of a dumpster it looked like someone had just moved and put a bunch of um their excess stuff in a dumpster and I beelined for it and I was like this motherfucker must have been like 10 grand it was like an antique it was like a vintage um like not even oriental what like this was the nicest rug I have ever seen in my life it was like a meant to be

situation because I've been looking for an area rug um when I first got Jimmy he shit all over my old one and pissed all over it to the point of like I couldn't get it out I was like I it was a it was a lost cause to clean that thing so I put I threw it away so I've been looking for a new replacement and I've been like I don't I haven't I don't know like honestly I've been debating like well it's probably it's probably easy to easier to clean the floor if I don't have a rug if that makes sense with his little fur and his little the dirty tracks in it's probably easier for me to just mop and sweep so a rug is kind of another it's just like a whole nother thing to clean and might be a might be a mess to have to have one so i was kind of at peace for a while just of uh

of having uh no rug slow down bitch slow down collector thoughts before you speak we got a semi driving by outside it looks like oh my god is that a it's a concrete that's a concrete that's a what's it called a that's a fucking a it's a poor it pours concrete whatever those trucks are right out my window making some commotion in the neighborhood so anyways I lock eyes with the rug I go up to it I immediately go back to my car I back that bitch up in front of the dumpster and I it was so heavy and he it's probably I don't know what the dimensions are at least like it's like 12 by 10 I'm sure like the 12 feet by 10 feet it's a it's an area rug for like a big living room so I'm like imagine this I the rug is halfway out and it's kind of covered by other

things in the dumpster to like so the other side of it was like wait it was weighted down so picture me like putting my like hugging the rug because it was rolled up and then I'm literally perpendicular my feet are my feet are on the side of the dumpster I'm hugging the rug my knees are locked and I'm perpendicular hanging off the side trying to pull it pull it out like my body weight wasn't able to get it out if that makes sense so I'm just like I'm struggling I'm I'm treating this like whenever i have a hard physical task like this to to do and i'm alone um it could be anything from opening a pickle jar to uh i don't know lifting what's the heavy thing i fucking like i don't know moving furniture this is the mindset i this is the mindset i i uh or the thing i tell

myself while I do it. Jacqueline, if you don't get this rug out of the dumpster in the next two minutes, you will die. And so my body turns into a fucking transformer. I turn into the Hulk and if I mentally go there, like this is a life or death situation. I get it out. I'll, I'll be able to get it out or I can move the furniture. I can open the pickle jar. I can do anything. I'm like invincible. And so, yeah, I just, I really, I just, I just used all my might and I finally ripped it out. And when I opened it, it is so pretty. It's kind of got some blues in it. It's kind of got some swirlies on it. It's a very traditional looking rug. It's so me, it's so my aesthetic. It's, it matches, it's going to match everything so well. It's going to pull

the blues out of my painting onto the floor. And it's just, I can't wait to like take pictures of it and shit and um obviously I have to clean it uh anyways so I like after I took it out of the dumpster and rolled it out um this is behind a grocery store by the way did I even say that uh the laundromat is kind of in a strip mall strip shopping center area and so I uh found the dumpster was behind the grocery store so there was a little bit of a empty parking lot space for me to clean like shake it out at and yeah I just sat there for like a good 10 minutes with it and just try to get as much dirt and shit off of it as possible it was pretty clean like it looked like someone had just taken it out of their living room and then gently set it in the dumpster

so it wouldn't get all shitty and yeah so there's a story the reason I'm telling it why did I say this oh I'm getting a vacuum because um I haven't had an I don't I don't have carpets or anything in my apartment so I haven't needed one I have like a little I have a tiny handheld one so I'm anyways I'm getting a vacuum so that I can vacuum my rug now and I'm so excited about it um it's still in my car actually all rolled up and yeah okay so there's a story wow we didn't even need to go on buzzfeed i can just tell stories what else is on my amazon list um should i talk about israel and like the whole gaza israel situation should i get into that should we change the subject to something intense i don't know about you but i'm

i shouldn't be i'm like smiling and i'm too chipper for this talk to be talking about this topic but i understand there's it's horror okay i understand that like this is a heavy thing to talk about and it's like it's pretty intense and um sad and everything but that being said i am so intrigued and obsessed with this the iron dome defense thing like you know when you see something and you're at first you're so confused you're like what am I looking at what am I seeing here what is this I'm so like I see it but my eyes can't make sense of this for me that was that was me over the last week or so like seeing the images of Hamas shooting the rockets in a like at a 45 degree angle and then on the other side these are the pictures

you'd see like the dark pictures at night you'd see a bunch of rockets coming out like yeah like at a straight angle like in the same direction and then on the other side you see Israel and like there's all these swirly rockets happening on that side and I just I was so confused but I'm like why are those not straight or like why does it look like this and then on top of that I was so confused by seeing people's videos of like you know they're on the way to the the bomb shelter or whatever and they're filming the sky where like there's little puffs there's little puffs everywhere from the where the rockets were and I was like why don't they just why are the why are the why are there puffs in the sky like that that doesn't make one of the rockets like hit

one of the rockets like land why would they be up in the air like like puffed up like that it's it looked as if my eyes were so confused because it looked as if the rockets and again I know this is, like, I feel weird even talking about, like, people are dead because of this. And I just feel, I don't know. Let's have this conversation from a military, like, a technology. I'm curious about technology. I'm interested in it. And this is something new to me that I just learned about that's all of a sudden making sense in my brain.

And I want to talk about it. And shit, you know? like how I don't know how else to talk about it without sounding kind of like I don't know so anyways so we got the swirlies got the vertical okay wait um where was I yeah the little puffies in the air little puff balls the little clouds were really confusing to me and um dude a fucking excuse me uh private jet size plane just launched really fast that they they switch directions on the runway here in sandy san diego san diego san diego every now and then and that was a low flyer and it went really fast it looked like a fucking rocket actually interesting timing that one was

it was kind of sometimes they launch this way and i get scared because it they're anyways it's really close to me and low. So I learned, so I was confused. I'm hearing about these, this iron dome. I'm like, it's not actually a dome. Like I knew that, but I'm like, what is it? Why do they keep talking about this iron dome thing? And so maybe this is old news to you. Maybe you already understand all this, but I definitely didn't. And so I, I went on YouTube and I was looking it up and i was looking up how it works and literally they israel like has rate they have radars that detect when hamas or when when gaza or whatever they like when they shoot rockets over they can detect those and so then israel launches rockets that go faster to defuse the hamas rockets so

that they don't land and so they don't kill anyone and i'm like holy fuck like this is insane And the success rate or whatever is like 90%. That's why when I see these pictures, there's all those swirlies and all those little puff balls in the air. It's because those are rockets being broken up in the sky instead of landing on the ground. Maybe, did you just learn something? Did I just teach you something? Maybe there's someone out there that didn't know that. So anyways, I thought that was very cool.

I thought that was very amazing and interesting. And, um, like, goddamn, like, imagine if they didn't have that, like what kind of destruction they're being fucking Israel. Oh Jesus. It's so sad. Um, anyways, I'm getting a vacuum cleaner. What were, where were we? I got it so good here. I keep saying this. I think I talked about this situation a few days ago and I'm like, I don't know. I just, it'd be like LA. It'd be like, it'd be like Los Angeles shooting rockets out down here to San Diego. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it'd be like, oh, all of a sudden I'm afraid of what's happening in the sky and I got to run for cover. And like, maybe my building will explode and I won't know, like, I won't know where they're going or like you're, you're

helpless. Kind of. It's, it's kind of the luck of the draw, but it's such a mindfuck. It's such of mind fuck like we i mean we got our issues here but like no one's shooting a rock no cities aren't like hey i'm gonna shoot rockets over to the other city fuck you know what i mean it's like our problems like we've i feel like we're such bitches here in this country like the shit we fight about is so fucking stupid because of how like easy or like free we are and how like i don't know how we don't have to like worry about yeah like bombs being launched overhead all the time and shit fuck um should i just end it there should i just end it there sometime you know it's sunday I just kind of want to like, I don't know, get on with my day. It's not like I have a time

requirement on myself to do a podcast for an hour, two hours or five, you know, I don't have a, I can do whatever I want. So, um, what else is there to say? I mean, I told you a few things on Amazon that I buy. I told some stories, talked about Israel and that situation a little bit and the iron dome what else did I do um I don't know if you're a new listener maybe here help me out or I don't know do whatever you want go ahead and hit that subscribe button if you want to hang out with me every day I'm here seven days a week um this is my audio diary I get on the mic every day and I talk about my life I talk about things that are going on with the world and the current events and I play games on here and I tell stories and it's honestly been so fucking good for me um

like maybe I can't should I get deep right now let me tell you some hard like some hard truths about earth not even hard truths some straight up truths or amazing things that are occurring in my life right now because I've started because I started a podcast back in September um I struggled so before this has to do with my identity and how I see myself and how I perceive myself and how I everything so I feel like I when I look at the last three years I have grown so much as a person and I've I've how do I explain this I think so I'm up I'm going on almost three years in San Diego I think June will be exactly yeah three years I had a dream to move to California I packed up my car I drove out here I yeah that was that's how it went right

after college or a couple well basically after college I worked for my at my school for a year and then I drove out here um so yeah like three years ago I was yeah fresh out of college still trying to find myself or like you know I guess we all are in our 20s but I'll say this like things were good before I moved here I moved here the first year was a beautiful roller coaster if that makes sense like a lot of highs and lows and but that year was also very damaging on my self-esteem my self-worth my identity my everything like I got that all stripped everything was it literally and it's uh it probably one of the best thing that happened best things that happened to me in my 20s because um what is it things happen

for you not to you or things happen for you yeah I think that was meant you know I walked away from that situation with so many lessons about life and relationships and people. And, um, but that year really, um, took me from Jacqueline from Washington, who was every, a lot of things, a lot of good things were happening in my life. I, you know, everything was like, good, right. I'm excited about California. Woo. And then it like, as that year went on, it slowly stripped down to like, who the fuck am I? Um, and it got to the point where I actually walked out into the world the day I walked away from that situation I was in and I literally thought I I said or in my head I was like I don't know who I am I don't know who I am anymore who am I because everything

I had known for that last that whole year was tied to a company and a person and a lifestyle and a lot of like crazy shit so I if that so anyways I like lost myself in that and so any now so over the last so that was like 2019 and 2020 and well most of 2020 I've been feeling I felt like a lost puppy like I didn't really know myself that well I was trying to get back to the old me kind of back to who I was before California and I was trying to find her again and then boom I started a podcast September 2020 I talk every day to myself it's a little loony whatever but it's helping me or it has helped uh seal up looking at my fingers like the loose it's like a circuit board or whatever the fuck I'm like um healing and sealing up those um broken parts of me

by talking things out and by expressing myself and my thoughts my ideas and uh whatever what am I saying um I know myself again I know who I am now I know I feel closer to myself than ever I feel like I've heard my soul speak now for a hundred and excuse me two hundred and fifty what's my whiteboard say 54 254 days and like it's like a 180 you know what I mean I don't know so I uh damn it's and I noticed this especially like I noticed how good I am now about like or how um how much I feel good in my skin and like in who I am now when I talk to other people like I'm in the driver's seat now in my life I'm the one who's I'm not I don't change anymore I don't like warp my identity around like what others what someone else wants me to be or like

oh I'm gonna act this way so these people will like me like I don't do that at all anymore and so I feel just so much more free and who I am and happy and anyways that's it um so yeah I accelerated my personal growth by getting on a podcast 70s a week I don't think this would have been possible without it could have been possible in other ways it could this could have been possible by what am I saying there are other ways you can get back your self-worth identity self-esteem what's it called self-perception there's so many ways you can do it you can write that's the thing I figured well like journaling hurts my wrist I don't want to sit and like wake up and write in a journal every day I want to have fun I want to have fun and talk

about life and talk about myself and shit so I'm like it's fun to be on a microphone it's like you're on a little you're I used to be on a stage all the time I like to I like to be on I like to entertain people like yeah again I like to have fun and so this was a light way to do it versus is like, there goes another plane. They're looking like rockets. Jesus Christ. That's scary. Uh, I feel like journaling is kind of fucking depressing. Like writing out all your problems, all your, it's just like not for me. So, um, this is a better fit and I don't, I never get bored of it. And I, yeah, she knows herself now. Like that's the thing I just fucking didn't know before like how because I'm not I'm not sitting here I'm not full of bullshit I'm not being fake

I'm literally just on a phone like I'm picking up the phone it's like I'm talking to a therapist I just say shit like it is I don't sugarcoat anything I'm not pretending I'm not trying to sound good I never try to sound good on this show and anyways that's what I feel like people on the internet do because they're trying to sell you something that's what's fucked up about the so it's it's like part of the drill honestly um but there's so much phony baloney out there because someone's trying to sell you something and so they're acting a certain way they're putting on a little bit of a they're putting on a little show and they're saying all the right things and they're selling a bunch of fucking vague optimism and blah blah blah about what

they're doing and it's just like it's not real it's not there's no um it's like you want to shake those people and just be like just shoot it to me straight shut the fuck up just like sit down what do you really mean uh keep it real that's a pro i don't know i could go on another tangent but when people don't i sniff it out so easily and actually i learned a new word this weekend um discernment jesus i guess it's also like a religious thing a bunch of like people in christianity talk about this word i guess discernment um the definition of discernment is the ability ability this sounds fucked up the ability to judge well i feel like i have that i have a strong intuition or whatever i can read people really well i can see through

bullshit and i think it's because and i'm so like i said i'm so grateful for that first year in san Diego because I was so naive I didn't see through the bullshit back then and I was so receptive and so like willing to I was just like too nice and I was too um I think it was because I was young I was like oh I'm in a new city if they say this I'm gonna do that I don't know this is you know whatever but um now I don't now I just it's like a red it's just like immediate like bullshit detector goes off bullshit detector goes off I can see you're full of shit I can see you're full of shit I can it's hard to find like straight up fucking homies now dude like this is a fake ass world and I think the older I get the more I

realize that especially this is dude I gotta say it uh I can't say it I just feel like sometimes like the online business world is like the worst and like there's a lot of fucking phony ass shit out there and I just don't it's not for me you know what some people love that let's love it they love it and they they're into it and I just I don't know that's what's cool about life you get to pick and choose who you want to be friends with you want to work with you want to do business with who you want to get your information from but um how do you what do you feel about that like how do you oh my god I'm not even narrating what's happening I got about

42 none there's like 14 bicycle cops outside in formation it looks like a parade um they're all wearing backpacks um what's happening what is this this is so funny this looks like you know when you see a parade with they with those little like there's a bunch of old men in those little old-fashioned cars doing uh like figure eights that's what's happening what are they doing i've never seen there's literally are they on a bike ride together like a how to be a cop on a bike uh training session what the hell anyways back to my question for you like what are your red flags or like what stands out to you when you meet new people or when you see shit online that's that is uh like your brain's like

oh that's nonsense or oh that's because i think it's fucking black and white like that for me it is i'm i don't know i back to discernment i i heard i learned about that word i was like oh i guess this is me now i'm like discernment is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well in the case of judgment discernment can be psychological moral or aesthetic in nature discernment has also been defined in the context scientific normative and formal it's from wikipedia okay images what are the do you guys know about this are you a discerning person are you on board are you because how do you feel let me put myself back when i was like early twenties. The difference I feel now about how I, like how my brain works when I mingle with

others is, like, before when I was younger, I, I think I admired the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and if that makes sense, and I, um, I was so, like, gung-ho, and just, like, teach me, teach me like show me like you're right like I accept accepted I was willing to what's the word I am I think it was also I just wanted to be liked I was going along to get along I didn't question no that's it when I was younger I didn't question shit I didn't wonder why that much I wasn't I was like oh I want to be like them I want to hang with them I want to be friends with them I want to do what they're doing so I just mold myself to what they liked and how they talked and what you know and I never saw I didn't analyze it any further than that I never was like

I never saw the bullshit in it and then after and then I'd get burned and then I would um you know that's how I got yeah stripped of my identity and my intuition and my self-worth and all that because I was I let other people like literally manipulate and walk all over me and gaslight me And so, yeah, the difference now in how I operate around other people and how my mind works is I'm highly, I'm a discerning person now who digs a little deeper and asks a few more questions because I'm, yeah, is this like you're jaded? Am I jaded? Is that what the word is? or I'm, um, I don't know. I used to think everything, everyone was a good person, you know, like, you know, I was like, oh, people are good. Everyone's good. Everyone's a good person. And now with a little more age, I'm realizing you can't always think like, like that or else you're going to get fucked and fucked over. So I got a strong head on my shoulders. I'm, uh, not willing or I'm

not, no, I, I'm willing to address the elephant in the room now and call shit out and say shit like it is and be, and be completely raw and real. And I, I know it's like, yeah, some things are better kept to yourself and some things, but you know what? People need to be checked sometimes. And I'm not, I'm not afraid to be that person to check them. Um, especially when they're out of line. And especially when they're not being their integrity or their, um, their, yeah, being a fucking, I don't know. I don't know. Why did I get on this tangent? Happy Sunday. Thank you for being here. Thank you for hanging out. I hope you enjoyed this episode I'm sorry I just got on a little tangent I got a little heated it sounds that sounded

personal too it sounded like I was thinking about a specific situation I probably I probably was um I've had a lot of encounters with bullshit and I think I think it's fun to talk about I don't know happy snappy people are always the ones that are the most full of shit to be honest most of them there's like a twinkle in the eye that i see now that i didn't see before it's not the people that are just like literally angels from earth like who's an example of like a celebrity who's literally just like their energy is so pure like you can tell when someone's energy is so pure and so innocent and just like they're just like a like I have friends I have like growing up I had friends like this they're just like little sweethearts and it's honestly because

they probably grew up where everything was good in the household they never had any struggles or traumas or any you know everything was always positive and happy snappy and they didn't really struggle with anything in life um so now they're kind of still like that they're just like you know everything's happy snappy and smiling but I don't really struggle with anything but sometimes I get sad and I eat ice cream you know like their problems are they don't really have issues and psychological damage and shit so there's a difference between those people who are pure like that and then people that are that on paper or uh outwardly show that but you can see like I said that little twinkle that little something that's like a little bit uh sinister or something's

just off or fake or just like what the you know what I mean like you can I don't know how to it's like an intuition thing I guess that's what the ability to judge well word is like I don't know I think if you even question it right that's a sign because honest real down-home good-ass people don't make you question their authenticity like you don't question those people's authenticity, you know, because it's there, you can just, it's like a feeling in your gut, you just know that's, they're fucking real, they're fucking them, they're fucking not trying to be someone they're not, or do something, you know, or try to, they're not, they're just, I don't know, this is a topic for another time, I could do an entire episode about this,

um something I've been curious about and I've been reading about recently is non-verbal communication and I'm a communications major I got my degree in PR but um yeah I'm really interested in the subtle things people do and with their body language and their mannerisms And I'm, I don't know, I'm, like, currently on a little reading journey about that kind of stuff. And that would be a fun episode to do. To talk about, like, for example, precise gestures. When you talk, like, if you have people sit on their hands when they talk, it's so, they struggle getting the words out right. But, you know, like you can probably you've probably realized this about yourself.

Like when you're in a conversation with other people, your hands move and you're like waving them around and doing shit. But something interesting I learned is that people that use precise gestures as they talk usually sound, it's like all perceptions. They sound like more, uh, they sound smarter, more educated, like they're more, um, commanding and, um, they are, they definitely articulate better than people that are just like flinging their arms around and being like, like sometimes I, if I pod, I podcast and I move my hands the whole time, but I noticed that when I reel it back in and get precise with how I move my little wrists and shit and my little fingers, I'm, I, it's a lot tighter. It's a lot tighter. And so anyways check that about yourself see what next time you're in a conversation with someone see

how you're or maybe film yourself and see what your arms do it's really interesting so yeah I'm currently this is the last thing I'm going to talk about when we end it but I'm currently kind of like interested or I'm learning more about non-verbal communication and there's a great professor from Berkeley with um who makes videos on all this stuff that I first kind of got in the interest from and um she's she studied it for like 30 years I don't know I mean it's something people like study and like teach and shit so I don't know every now and then I get like I nerd out about something like a like a new topic and I feel like this is new for me it's kind of like with um who's the guy the negotiator guy you know how there's ways you can tell someone's lying

by how they move their eyes or whatever it's kind of like that kind of that kind of thing um yeah non-verbal communication i guess it's all the same it's kind of dude it's kind of like um i feel like once you learn it though you're not going to be able to unsee it when you're interacting with people and you're going to know shit but like you're going to be able to tell what people really mean and it's going to like fuck with you maybe it's good to not know too much um anyways like we all I think if you you can tell someone's lying if they're telling a story and move their eyes in a circle or whenever someone looks up and yeah if they move their eyes if they start at the left as they're telling the

story they look up as they're looking up they're coming up with shit in their head they're thinking of bullshit they're not to be they're not um saying the truth and then if they move their eyes over again yeah they keep repeating that circle and they're with their eyes it's probably they're probably lying or making something up that's something I learned I don't know okay happy Sunday I hope you had a great weekend hit that subscribe button I'll be here tomorrow I'm here every day I won't let you down and yeah that's it I will talk to you tomorrow okay bye