The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 262- Podcast Marathon #2

Episode Date: May 29, 2021

Happy "Monday" !! Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up? It's episode 262. Welcome back to the show. I'm back with another podcast on this six podcasts in a row marathon I'm having today. Uh, I just finished a little, uh, where I took a little Biscoff cookie break in my mom's kitchen. I just had a little cookie break. I feel like it's still in my teeth. Is this an, do I, does it sound like I have food stuck in my teeth? Washing it down with a diet Coke. Uh, asked me about my blood sugar levels today.

welcome home welcome to your mom's house where uh the sugar is plenty and the treats and the snacks are everywhere and I have no uh I'm on vacation for all I know whatever anyways I'm gonna jump right into this next quiz I I uh I'm gonna do as a reminder as a reminder I'm doing to catch up because I committed to podcasting seven days a week back on September 4th, 2020. I committed to it for a year. Got to fulfill my commitment and give you guys seven episodes a week. As a reminder, I'm doing four stupid BuzzFeed quizzes in a row to knock out four episodes. And then the fifth episode will be all about yesterday, my travel day, traveling from San Diego up to Washington. And then tonight after the family barbecue, I'll do a Friday night

podcast. Tell you about my day today. Uh, anyways. Okay. This next quiz is called, excuse me. Um, it's kind of fun. Actually. I'm excited for this one. Which classic Disney villain best matches your personality? here we go um i guess there's a new cruella deville cruella movie coming out with emma stone in it and buzzfeed's doing a quiz about disney villains so um it looks good i have seen the trailer trailer that looks like a fun movie uh first question first things first what is your number one vice oh god a stiff cocktail caffeine video games gossip social media or naps

is this even what uh y'all know the answer is caffeine I mean yeah like social media I'm not honestly like since I've been home I haven't really been on my phone at all I love that about being with my family I don't or just whenever I'm with people I notice that I'm not a I'm not the person in the corner on her phone um when I'm home alone in San Diego my apartment I'm on it all day long you know I'm constantly on my phone I use it for my job too which is kind of one of those like you can't you can't really not you have to kind of be on it type of thing. But, um, anyways, it's been refreshing to not even care about look, looking at my phone at all lately. And yeah. Um, but speaking of caffeine as my number,

being my number one vice, I really, um, I should probably work on my tolerance and cut back. Like, you know, I feel like, okay, I don't want to spend this quiz, this episode where I'm supposed to be doing a quiz talking about how I need to go on a caffeine detox and cleanse, but I don't like how, you know what? Fuck it. It's always been this way. When I wake up, I need coffee. I don't need to overthink it. I just don't necessarily like how I'm not able to function and do stuff at all unless I have coffee first. So I can't just like get up go on a walk with jimmy check my mail like get my laptop open and started with my work day like without a lot of coffee so what i'm thinking is if i slowly but surely reduce the amount of espresso

shots i pull for myself in my barista express braville barista express espresso machine if i reduce the amount of espresso shots out of coming out of my braville barista express whatever the fuck machine um like every day I'll or like whatever instead of six shots every morning I'll do four and then I'll do four every day and then I'll do two and then you know um I think that'd be good but whatever we're all gonna die someday who cares pick a famous I know that's a stupid perspective or whatever but sometimes you gotta just whatever um pick a famous dog for your loyal sidekick oh this is a fun quiz I got I got dogs to choose from now Scooby-Doo as my sidekick Bruiser from Legally Blonde the Chihuahua Elwood's Chihuahua

Snoopy from Charlie Brown Toto from the Wizard of Oz Clifford from Clifford the Red Big Red Dog or Max from the Grinch? I got a, okay, I'm a villain. My number one vice is caffeine. I already answered that question. I got to pick a sidekick. I'm a villain. What kind of villain do I want to be? It's all about your personality. This quiz is going to guess which Disney villain I am. which Disney villain best uh or is most like me based on my answers here I gotta pick I mean Toto's kind of dumb or I don't even know Toto what was Toto like in that movie did Toto get in trouble I feel like Toto got picked up by those monkeys those flying monkeys and that was traumatizing as a child watching that happen yeah I didn't like that movie that

scared the fuck i mean i love the wizard of oz but those monkeys those flying monkeys the witch she was so scary um clifford boring to be honest it's kind of like it's a cartoon okay i mean snoopy compared to like clifford i got clifford or snoopy as my or i got scooby-doo too as my cartoon options Snoopy is the like the most there is no other cartoon dog as cool as Snoopy not even Scooby-Doo so hmm Clifford's out we're putting Toto off to the side Max from the Grinch Max what what is that line he's like Max um shout out Jim Carrey shout out the Grinch shout out whoville shout out cindy lou who shout out the christmas cheer meister the what is what is that movie there are so many weird i have so many questions about the grinch so many questions

why did they decide to puff up their upper lips why did they why did they put their tilt their noses up like that what's going on who came up with that facial feature was that the cartoon before the movie and they tried to make it look like the cartoon what i don't know i have so many questions about the hairstyles and yeah just I guess they kind of look like mice people they all kind of look like a little mouse face um anyways where are you Christmas why can't I find you I'm at my mom's house chilling right now if you're new to the show I'm in Washington I guess I said that already that I'm in Washington, but I'm comfortable. I feel at home. I'm peaceful. I am

alive and happy to be here. So I don't know. I'm too, it's like, I'm too comfortable here where I don't even know what I'm, I don't know, whatever. Um, Max from the Grinch who stole Christmas as a sidekick. He's a little scruffy thing. He's a real dog in a movie. He's an actual dog. He's not a cartoon. Um, is he a golden retriever? If he's a golden retriever, I can't really tell from the picture he's not he's like but he kind of looks like one in the picture I don't know is my person I you know what when I look at these dogs the the dog I feel I feel like the dog that represents me as a person the most, it's honestly Scooby-Doo. What's his voice in that fucking show? I don't know. I just feel like, okay, Snoopy though. No, you know what? Snoopy's

on top of that house right now, that little dog house in the picture. Snoopy's cool as shit. I but i'm i feel like i'm uh they're both classic they're both uh funny kind of like i'm not calling myself funny but they're both kind of like go to the they definitely go to the beat of their own drum those two dogs definitely do their own thing like that like myself um both are males fuck i think they're all boys yeah bruiser from legally blonde is out I don't want a chihuahua as my sidekick like no thanks um it's kind of pretentious it's kind of like stuck up I feel like it's just like I'm not prissy like look at my little chihuahua like I'm uh I'm I'm gonna solve mysteries I'm doing Scooby-Doo

yeah oh but Snoopy's cute fuck I'm doing Scooby Scooby I watched a lot of that show I'm doing Scooby, okay, finally, pick a, or, hold on, let me take a drink, by the way, we're on Diet Coke number two, I drank one last podcast, and I'm drinking another one, um, shit, well, it tastes good, and, uh, well, the, I was gonna blame the tap water here, here in Washington, but I can't do that, because it's the best tap water in the world, like, every time I come home, the first thing I do when I come to my mom's house is turn on the faucet and drink the water every time because it's so good and fresh but I don't know I'm just having one of those days like I got shit to get done I have so many podcasts to record and so much to do with like work stuff and

I got a big family weekend like everyone's coming over tonight we got a big we have like two big parties tomorrow and anyways I'm just trying to like get everything done so I don't have to worry about it. You know what I mean? Uh, so I'm like not, I am not taking care of my health. Like my consumption, my, the shit I've consumed today, I had a croissant, I had Biscoff cookies, not being a fucking two. What are they called? I had some cheese. Uh, I don't eat cheese normally, like just cheese, like random slices of cheese. What am I doing? And then two diet Cokes, Coke zeros actually, but same thing. Okay. I got to pick a famous London landmark to explore, explored them all uh i love london um where do i want to explore

saint james park beautiful harrods beautiful big ben abbey road boring king's cross love it buckingham palace we gotta explore a famous landmark i've never been inside buckingham palace but i can only imagine that would be entertaining um blame it on the carbonation sorry about that uh totally not classy and not I'm trying to rebrand to be more classy and dude when I'm home out the window the country twang I pour it on I get the little twang back that little northwest like I'm not even from the south or anything I don't know when we all sit talk as a family sometimes it gets like twangy it's twangy me and my sister especially we start twanging with each other in our conversations and we're just like telling we talk about like

people will see a Walmart and shit when you start talking like this and I don't even talk like that normally but um like when I'm in San Diego I'm gonna sound like such a fake person I normally talk like this you guys know I I am on the podcast every day I talk like this okay but it's fun when I'm at home because I just like let it let it all hang out um where was I back to oh I burped and I was like oh that's not my brand then I want to be more classy and more polished and like I don't know. I need to, I don't edit the show, but I should totally like edit out anything I do that's of any bodily functions. It's so fucking happen. Okay. I'm exploring a famous landmark in London and I'm a villain. Why am I at St. James park? And I'm a villain.

Um, I want to watch the ducks. Okay. When I'm at the park, I want to watch the ducks. I want to watch the birds and I want to sit and look at, and people watch. I'm not there to be a villain. I, I feel like if I'm a villain, I want to be, I want to be a creeper. No, I'm, I'm in King's cross station. Yeah. I'm being a bad bitch in King, King's King, King's cross station. And I'm in a I'm in a wig I'm in I'm in a disguise and I'm in the I'm in the train station I know Kings Cross very well it was close to my dorm it was the closest uh train station to my yeah to me um St. Pancras and Kings Cross I think were the two if I remember right uh I'm I dude okay a year ago I couldn't say this obviously because it was a year ago but like I need to travel all like

every day now like I I cannot stay in this country I need to get out I need to get out on the road I need to be in a plane I need to be in every fun city country in the world like I I feel like I totally have cabin fever uh like more now than I've ever in my life and anyways um I've been wanting to get back to London so bad and I feel like it's gonna happen probably first because holy shit I just thinking about like going around the train stations and riding the tube and going around the city is so fucking fun um for me at least i mean no it's not everyone's favorite cup of tea but like i don't know i like it there i love it i'm gonna go king's cross station because i'm gonna be uh with scooby-doo laying low with some carl lagerfeld fucking sunglasses and a

wig on, and a big, in a big trench coat, and, like, stilettos or some shit, and I'm the villain, and nobody knows what, I'm gonna look the part. Okay, so next question, I don't even know what I'm saying, um, oh, you know what, this is about, this is British, because this next one's a British question, because, um, Cruella de Vil, it's, isn't it in england in london the dalmatians movie anyways um because i can tell this has a british theme to it or whatever which british bop are you performing at karaoke wannabe by the spice girls don't stop me now by queen valerie by amy winehouse great song what makes you beautiful by one direction should i stay or should i go by the clash

or shut up by storming? A hundred percent want to be by the Spice Girls. Is that even a question? If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends. Um, I mean, what makes you beautiful by one direction? Dude, dude, I, I've never told this story. Let me have this moment right now. Let me do it. This is embarrassing. I was a senior in high school and I was at, okay and it was in the springtime okay let me retell the story jocelyn tell it straight and make it make sense i'm a senior in high school it's springtime i'm in a powder puff league with my senior class the girls my senior class and we're practicing for the powder puff tournament or whatever, where the seniors and the juniors and the sophomores and the freshmen all

play flag football against each other. And this is every spring event that we do at our, that we did at our high school. Shout out Mount Vernon High School. I'm driving home from practice on a nice sunny spring afternoon down the long ass road on the way home and I hear baby you light up my world like nobody else that's what makes you beautiful I don't know how that

did that hit? I can't sing but did that do you get the song, the What Makes You Beautiful song? Did you understand that was the song I was trying to sing? Like the beginning, it was like, I don't even know. Anyways. So I'm hearing that. I've been hearing it. Okay. You have to understand this song had been played on the radio for like a month at this point. And for some reason, on this drive home from powder puff practice, I couldn't take it any longer that I didn't know who these dudes were singing the song and like what this is and like why is this song popular who are these people um anyways I that's that's all it took I was on fucking YouTube immediately watching every

fucking music video watching the x-factor all this stuff and I had like I it's weird how like you hear it's like i knew about it before and then i didn't really like put the pieces together and then all of a sudden i heard the song like oh these are those guys from the x factor oh now i get it but i wasn't that like on the one direction train if you know what i mean so anyways and then i was like oh this is a boy band and i like boy bands i like the jonas brothers and then boom like the obsession started and i kept it in the closet nobody knew i i was embarrassed by my One Direction obsession and um nobody knew nobody fucking knew I'm even embarrassed even saying it now I'm it's been a year it's been like a decade but like I remember that distinct moment I'm like

I can't you know when you hear a song so many times you're like who is this who is this but I finally looked it up and then I was like oh my god it changed my life it changed my life I actually I've told the story too many times shout out Harry Styles I mean look it got me it got me places. Okay. I met a lot of people through him, met a lot of people through him. I, uh, did some fun things because of him. And, uh, so yeah, cool. All right. Next question. Jesus Christ. Um, the past is the past. I don't even know what I'm saying. I just feel like my early twenties are so cringy to me. It's like, I keep saying that lately, but it really is the stuff that i would like the amount of times i would like watch their live streams and nobody knew i was

watching their live streams because i was so fucking embarrassed by like liking a boy band when all the guys were literally the same age as me i'm like that's so embarrassing 12 year olds are watching this too oh my god why do i do it was just entertaining it was so like fresh and fun everything about it was fun like the fandom was so fun i don't know if you were in it and you get me like you you'll get it like if you under I don't know people on the outside will make fun of it if you're on the inside you understand me right now it was fun as shit shout out Tyler Oakley like he would do live streams of the album release and I was like obsessed with him and he would dude it's disgusting I spent so many hours paying attention in one direction and like went

to the concerts. I did every fuck. I don't know. Okay. Wannabe by the Spice Girls is the song. Sorry for going on a stupid tangent about One Direction, but I had to get it off my chest. I had to like, I really needed to tell that story. I really needed to like release it today and get it, get it out. Um, it was painful to do, but I did it. I'm proud of myself. Which villain do you think deserves a second chance? Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad. Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada. Favorite movie. Favorite movie. Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. Joker from The Dark Knight. Killmonger from Black Panther. Never saw it. says sir cersei cersei lannister from the game game thrones watched the first episode didn't

like it didn't ever watch it again so i don't know game of thrones very well uh sue me come at me i know uh which which villain do you think deserves a second chance just because I fucking love The Dark Knight it's like one of my favorite movies of all time for some reason I want to say Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada because I think the girls in that movie

I think Anne Hathaway's character is too fucking sensitive and miranda was a straight talker and she was a hard-ass boss who you know meant what she said and kept it short and direct and um i don't think she was that that bad in that show i think she i think she was good i think she's a good person i don't think she was the villain in that show, in that movie, The Devil Wears Prada, because what did she do that was so bad, she was just like, that's all, like, that's all, that's all she said, that's all,

I wish more people would say that's all, I have nothing more, like, when people over elaborate, over say the same thing five different ways in a row, stop like say it one way say it right the first time and stop saying anything just get it out say I don't know I'm one to talk right here I'm on a podcast spiraling and going in circles and going on 50 tangents and saying I do repeat myself but you know it's called the callback it's it's a I'm an athlete sport you gotta it's like it's like scornigal a callback's like score and a goal. You got to do it. You got to bring the fucking conversation home. Okay. You got to round it out. So when I repeat myself, sometimes there's a purpose, there's a rhyme and

a reason to it. Uh, that's all. That's all. I'm going to go Miranda Priestly. I think she was misunderstood. And I think those girls in the show were a little bit too, um, like what's so difficult about doing a Starbucks run and being stretched thin with all these tasks when you're a fucking intern. That's what you're, that's what you do as an intern at Vogue or a new employee or whatever. Like that's part of it. Have fun doing it. Don't like dread it and make it like, don't feel like she was so stressed out in the movie. Like, Oh my God. Oh my God. Miranda. Miranda wants me to do this Miranda it's like no just have fun it's a sport it's a chaotic sport being an intern having to run around in 60 directions I decided I used to say I like doing errands

and I like doing office managing work where I had to like go to like I had to deal with all the Amazon orders and packages and FedEx returns and just like buy buying supplies for the office and doing errands and running to town and buying everyone lunch and keeping track of all the supplies and inventory of everything and I was like I love I used to say I love physical like work where I have to get in a car on the job drive around hustle like yeah basically do errands and be the house mom take care of the office and take care of the household all day I decided recently I don't like doing that I felt because here's the thing I want to run errands because here's what happened when I did it for myself it like I don't know how to explain this but like my personal

errands felt like shit when I did them because all I did all week was errands for the company or whatever this sounds bad I mean I had a great job and everything like it was a good experience but after the fact I'm like I don't want to do that all day all day long that's for the that's for the 20 year olds okay those are that's the interns I'm sorry I'm like that's not my I'm out that phase like that's for the young kids they can exhaust themselves like that i don't want to take care of shit like that like i used to want to why am i doing why am i doing 50 fucking amazon returns today jacqueline and you're it's just like too much i don't want to do it somebody else do it not not my job not my job park me at a desk throw a screen in my face give me a nice back support

chair let me work remote also where I can go and stay at my mom's house and do my job no I'm I need I'm more uh I'm a diva dude I'm a 2020 turned me into a fucking diva with work I don't think I can ever return to an office holy shit like I don't commute I don't get up and drive to an office I don't have to sit in an office all day I don't have to do any of that I'm at home with family and I get to enjoy myself and get shit done and work. It's the dream. I don't know how, oh, like I used to tell myself, well, it's great to be around coworkers all day long and have like office camaraderie and water cooler talk. And that's kind of fun and meetings and you're all around, you're all together, but it's like, yeah, that's great. There are some pros to

that. It does feel nice to get out of the house and go somewhere to work, but there's so many pros to working remote. And I feel like one of them for me coming up is going to be travel and being able to like do what I'm doing now, pack up and go, which is what my next chapter of life is probably going to be. Cause I want to get off this fucking continent. I don't know. Am I going to finish this quiz? Okay. Pick something black and white. A skunk. Is there a skunk as an answer? Oh, a zebra, a piano, a yin yang, a yin yang, symbol, a yin yang, yin yang symbol, a newspaper, a newspaper, a black and white cookie. What? A domino? Pick something black and white. This table squeaky. Um, what do I like that's black

and white out of these? I used to read the newspaper every fucking morning. I need to stop swearing. This is, I gotta, I gotta focus on my new brand, on my, I gotta focus on my imagery at Jacqueline you don't want to be tacky you don't be uh you want to be classy you want to be poised elegant sophisticated you are a you're you you want to make keep it fun but also uh professional a little bit and not so loosey-goosey and watch the watch the fucking swearing sorry I used to read the newspaper every morning I picked up a New York Times like every day at school at college well this was a phase I was in when I was like I want to be a journalist I want to I want to write like I wanted to be a news reporter I wanted to do that thing I wanted to

be on I wanted to read the teleprompter and I wanted to so bad and um I always like sat in the bookstore library coffee shop place at the um slash cafeteria like it was everything I think it was called the bookie or the cub at WSU at Washington State University I would sit there with a newspaper like a grandpa every morning and sip my coffee and read it and at the time that's when um there's some crazy stuff happening over in uh I think Syria yeah and I was following it every day I was like that's where I found out what was going on in Syria because I was like reading it out of the New York Times like I wasn't on my Twitter or whatever I don't know I was doing it all I was like a news nerd okay so I got a pick of something black and white a newspaper

an Oreo let's call it an Oreo a black and white cookie what else is black and white that's a cookie it's an Oreo a domino a yin yang symbol a piano used to play it for four years yeah or a zebra? I got a question. Okay. Okay. Is a zebra a black horse with white stripes? Or is it a white horse with black stripes? What's going on? What is it? I've got to look at a picture of a zebra. Oh my God. Okay. Zebra. What's going on? What's happening? I don't like it. Oh my God. I don't like it. My toes are curling under. I don't like it. I don't want to think about this it makes me uncomfortable because I can't tell you can't tell looking at it because it's like that whole is the dress blue or no the white dress or the gold dress thing

how our eyes see color differently and like whatever it's kind of like if you look at it and you look at the black stripes it looks like a black horse with white stripes, but if you look at the white stripes first, it looks like a white horse with black stripes. What did I just say? Your eyes do a dance when you look at a zebra, and I don't like it. What a weird looking animal. Like, what a weird, like, the markings, it's, they're so unnatural for the environment. What the hell? Wait a minute. No. A giraffe blends in to the train a little bit right like it's got those patchwork designs on its body where it's kind of like warm toned like the sand and the terrain a zebra is literally like a bullseye for a lion or

what hunts a zebra a lion yeah it's kind of like putting a fucking dartboard out on the sahara out on the prairie out on the plane out on the desert out on the land out on the safari for the lions to play target practice with. Like literally, it's just a, it's a, it's a moving target. Like, why is it that, what in nature looks like that? That's black and white. I don't get it. Like, you know what? Some animals look like their environments. They blend in nicely. Zebras don't. Why do zebras have stripes? Am I going to Google this shit? why do zebras have stripes this is supposed to be 10 minutes and i got one two i have four more podcasts to finish before i sleep tonight fuck okay why are why do zebras have stripes okay

we don't even know why this is all here okay thermoregulation has long suggested by scientists as the function of zebra stripes fuck you thermoregulation they could all be the same color or does that does the sun bounce off their fur differently if it's white or black like does a white cool them down a little bit but if they are all black they get too hot oh let me read the second sentence here the basic idea is that the black stripes would absorb heat in the morning and warm up zebras whereas white stripes reflect light and could thus help cool zebras as they graze for hours in the blazing sun, yeah, but it's also killing them, or it's making them, like, you see them so easily out there, zebra, dude, safari animals, that's why I

like podcasting, I get excited about, I think about stuff I don't usually think about, we got a giraffe an elephant a zebra rhinoceros tiger but see the predators can be any color of the rainbow any pattern the prey should blend in with the terrain and the zebra does not okay I'm looking at impalas they're brown they're tan I'm looking at gazelles basically the same color is a sand I got uh let's a wildebeest kind of dark uh fast as shit they can run pretty fast uh when they're being chased by a a tiger or something or a lion but um again a neutral tone that blends in a little bit I mean the zebra looks like it's literally a zebra is a dartboard on the safari on the on the on the turn what am i on on the in the desert in the

it's the dartboard of the animal kingdom and god bless them um i've seen a lot of animal animal planet no i've seen a lot of national geographic um planet earth what are these documentaries about animals called like i've seen a lot of those and those zebras are always getting eaten taken out of the neck shit there's a cute video my brother posted on a story today of a duck walking by a bunch of alligators sometimes animals get along not zebras though dude and the lions oh my god yeah just look at a picture of safari animals it's like god whoever allah whoever source um simulation uh programmers what the fuck is going on with the zebra stripes come on come on if they were a predator okay because that's like a tiger

a striped tiger okay god dude cheetahs go look at a cheetah they blend in they really do oh my god lions blend in like so good when you can look out at the plains or whatever the Sahara desert the land the prairie you don't see the lion it's sitting there on the little grass and it's blending in it's the same color as the grass but the zebras and all the like gazelles they all kind of well they all blend into but the zebras jump out and they're like it's a dartboard they're a fucking dartboard rest in peace to all the zebras that have passed in 2021 and uh in the past years because you just didn't get you just the you just got you got gypped you got fucking gypped free let's how do we have how do we speed up evolution the evolution of zebras to turn them

into a brown horse how do we turn them into a palomino how do we turn them into a wild mustang looking thing and not a black and white fucking dartboard am i saying that right is that what a dartboard looks like a bullseye is that what i'm is that the word i was looking for a bullseye god it'd be so fun for lions to have oh my god when they see zebras their dicks get so hard they're just like yeah fucking easy it's gonna be easy work and they're not even that fast they're like a little stupid ass pony out there and you got like the wildebeest can run the gazelles can run or the other one's called like or or or orcs no or zelles or something they can run they got they're like long jumpers they can the distance between each stride is like 12

fucking meters but then the zebra running from the line is a joke fuck round up i say we round up the zebras we take them out of that are they just in africa i don't know where they are take them out of their misery get them out of the i mean it's unnatural put them in the oreo fat put put them where they belong on the in they should be oh my god i know i'm going off i'm fucking in my i'm in outer space i'm at my mom's house i'm comfortable put was that a callback i don't know Put, no, this is the callback, I think. I don't know. Put all of the zebras outside of Nabisco's Oreo factory as a tourist attraction or some shit where they're in a safe place next to something that looks like them. next to an Oreo factory or something. And it's black. I don't know. I don't fucking know what I'm saying. What's black and white and striped all over. That's not a zebra. Is that a riddle?

I feel like I've heard that riddle before. Wait, hold on. What's this going to be racist, black and white and red all over. That's what it is. Oh, that's a newspaper. I'll read all over. okay i gotta finish this quiz holy shit um okay i got on a tangent i gotta come back home just because i wanted a 60 minute tangent about zebras i gotta pick a zebra pick something black and white i gotta pick a zebra and finally last question before i find out what disney villain i am based on my personality and based on my responses here i gotta pick something red all over speaking of that riddle I just said um oh god no you know what no no nope not happening Jacqueline not anymore sorry okay episode 262 will be the last time I burp on the show okay

I gotta pick something red all over a red panda a tube of red lipstick an apple a double-decker bus a rose, or a trip to Target, these are all things I love. My mom listens to a bedtime story called The Red Panda. Dude, is it on my iPhone? I think it's on my old iPhone. The Red Panda, tonight we're gonna go, the Red Panda's gonna go to sleep with you. I don't even know what it's, it's like this little bedtime story for kids that she listens, I don't even, one time I was home for like Christmas or Thanksgiving after moving to San Diego. And I went, sometimes I sleep in her bedroom. I don't know. It's not weird. Whatever. I sleep with my mom. And anyways, Jesus Christ. I think she was

already going to bed before me. And I go in there and I hear the red panda tonight, sleep stories with the red panda, something about the red panda. And it was, I think also like French, like part of the bedtime story teaches you French words I don't know it's weird and she was like falling asleep to it and it was the cutest thing ever and I'm like my mom is literally the cutest person I ever know I've ever known and like I still think about it so anytime I see red pandas or like pictures or in this quiz like a red panda is an option I think about that but I like all these things a trip a trip to target great an apple great lipstick great rose is my favorite flower obviously great double decker bus sweet um but I'm a villain I'm a villain

I gotta pick something that's red all over and I'm a villain target does not give me villain vibes a rose gives me princess like not the villain but kind of could be i guess there's thorns a double-decker bus seems like a supporting character type thing not a villain thing like it's not like the villain would not be rolling around in a double-decker bus um an apple definitely gives me villain vibes eat the apple poison the app you know it's like the poisonous apple thing, a red panda is confusing me, uh, and why, as to why that would be connected

to a villain, um, because, look, I already got Scooby-Doo, I don't need a red panda, and a tube of red lipstick, it gives, I'd say between the lipstick and the apple, that's right, that's what I got to pick between, uh, the red lipstick gives me villain vibes a little bit. Yeah. Okay. To be honest, nothing makes me look more, nothing makes me look like I'm about to be a bitch. Not, I don't like to say that about myself. Be, I look bitchy as fuck when I have really dark lipstick on. it makes me look so mean just think of gothic girls or goth girls or gothic people that put like black lipstick on like when your lips look really dark you look mean you look angry you look mean and so red lipstick on me you're like super plummy dark lipstick like I have this

dude it's like shout out Kylie Jenner like back when that matte dark lipstick stuff was a trend I got this tube of something I think it's a L'Oreal infallible lip stain something but it's like dark mauve purple and when I put it on my lips look like chalk pretty much I don't ever wear this in real life I just have it and I don't throw I don't know why I don't throw it away I haven't thrown it away but um anyways it's oh when I wear it sorry what my brother's home sorry I'm like embarrassed I'm podcasting I'm embarrassed I'm being shy hi um when I wear I look mean okay I'm gonna pick I'm gonna pick a tube of red lipstick what's the result here before they walk in the door which Disney villain best matches your personality no shit I got Cruella DeVille

holy fuck dude the explanation is this you look good and you know it you turn heads everywhere where you go because of the energy you admit and the clothes on your back. You may do a bad thing here and there, but no one will dare say you look bad while doing it. Dude, that made me feel really good about myself after I just had a fucking, two fucking Diet Cokes. Hi, Rob. Hi. Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up. Thanks for hanging out. Uh, yeah, I got to go. My brother's home. I want to chit chat now. So, uh, hit that subscribe button. I'm here 70s a week. Uh, yeah, that's it. Have a great day. Okay. Bye.