The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 264- Podcast Marathon #4

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

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What's up, guys? It's episode 264. Welcome back to the show. hey it's jacqueline welcome back to the show um this is episode four of my I think seven podcasts in a row marathon I'm doing right now to catch up um yeah I podcast seven days a week I've had an interesting uh chain of events occur over the last few days so I haven't been able to podcast and now I'm in Washington at my mom's house on vacation for Memorial Day weekend, sitting up late at night, podcasting, trying to get this done. Yeah, it's a lot. So honestly, whatever. I'm not even going to explain myself any further. I feel like I keep saying the same thing over the last few episodes on this marathon. And yeah, whatever.

Let's do another BuzzFeed quiz. I'm knocking out stupid, corny, dumb, childish, immature, random I don't know how else to explain these buzzfeed quizzes to get my podcast done because these kind of they're fun they're short they're sweet I can tell stories along the way um this next one is called we know which summer why I didn't mean to like cough before I announced that like it's a like big reveal but I need water actually hold on the next one is we know which summer activity you'd like you'd like based on the pool party of your dreams so yeah we're gonna have a pool party on this quiz and it's gonna tell me what summer activity I need I need to do this summer so sure okay BuzzFeed let's do this um first question uh I don't should I set

the scene a little bit uh Jimmy's been chewing on a piece of Tupperware all night in the kitchen here while I've been podcasting. I just went out to an Italian dinner with my family. Um, my mom and I just sat up and talked for a bit. Uh, I didn't even tell her I was going to podcast. I think I just realized I need to get this done. So I'm like, ah, shit, I can't go to bed till I do this. Um, but yeah, I'm out in the kitchen. Uh, it's okay. Quickly before I do the quiz, it let me open the window it's finally dark out but it stays light in Washington until like 9 30 almost 10 p.m it's the end of May and I wasn't I feel like I don't remember this from living here because I used to live in Washington obviously I'm from here but I don't remember it staying

this light out in May like maybe in the middle of July it would but something about it didn't sit right with me I'm like has has something shifted like how's this is the axis tilting a little more north than it used to like I don't know because down in San Diego at this time or normally now it's like dark at 8 p.m ish so it's always a trip when I FaceTime my family and they'll be you know outside like watching the sunset at nine and then I'm like what the hell. It's dark where I'm at. I guess that's how the world works or how the, how the acts, how the world works or how the hemispheres shine. What the fuck am I saying? How they light up during the different seasons. Okay. Whatever. I'm, I might as well be talking about the weather.

This is dumb ass small talk. I need to do the quiz. First things first, how many people are invited to your pool party. Okay. I'm having a pool party. Um, just me, two guests, four guests or five. Uh, I'm, I don't understand why the maximum is five for my pool party. I want to have like 50. Um, let's set the scene. What kind of pool party do I want to have? If I can have a maximum of five people I don't like that I'm gonna have two guests it's gonna be me and a significant other that's the kind of pool party I'm having Jimmy are you gonna eat napkins he's being a little it's like he's it's he's been in this kitchen now for like four days and he's acting like he hasn't been here before just sniffing everything Jimmy don't knock my bunny

cup down. I got that when I was a baby. Oh my God. Yeah. I have like the cutest little bunny rabbit cup. Jimmy, come here. Okay. Um, I'm going to do a, my pool party is going to be a hot date, I guess. I don't know. Like, okay. Obviously it's not just going to be me. Four guests would be me and three other people. Okay. I got to stop this. Jimmy, I got to take a picture. Oh my God. He looks like he's a person standing up on the counter my mom hates that she's like get down get down oh I have some stories about my mom and Jimmy actually I'll tell probably on the next podcast let's just do two guests me and a hot date why not let's do a sexy pool party choose the pool of your dreams I'm looking at pictures here we got a basic backyard pool in a like the

lowest level of the totem pool in uh in the ground pool in a backyard in a like in suburbia you know what i mean it's just like a normal in the ground pool then we've got a vegas looking pool that said it looks like a resort then we've got a tropical pool that overlooks the ocean with like an infinity edge and then we've got this giant like mansion pool just based on the location here I'm going to go with a tropical location because this is a hot date we're on vacation it's tropical we're in an infinity pool this makes sense I want to do this one okay we're going tropical next choose a drink to serve water juice lemonade or soda where's the alcohol I'm confused um we're drinking cocktails so we're

spiking uh this picture kind of looks like a margarita it looks like a slushy margarita the juice picture so I'm gonna go juice and then we're actually gonna be drinking fucking margaritas and we're gonna be in Mexico somewhere I don't know like I'm trying to paint a picture trying to throw a pool party I don't know okay next choose some food to serve we're not eating food okay ice cream hold on tacos burger burgers or cookie why did I say burger so loud ice cream tacos burgers cookies or that's it there's only four options we're going tacos that makes sense um tacos choose a pool floatie? A cactus, a swan, a unicorn, or a donut? Um, I like the donut because you can put your ass

in the middle of it and kind of float around comfortably. The cactus looks a little difficult. Um, I've never really been a big fan of flat pool floaties where you have to lay flat because it's kind of shifty and if you lean if your weight shifts a little too far over to the right or the left you start to capsize and you take on water to it really easily and then you might flip over so if you're tanning or if you're relaxing you really have to watch your like you have to be balanced and versus being in a donut shaped floaty you're parked you're set you're not moving anywhere you've got your weight in the middle of it your ass is floating in the water it's like hanging down in the water and your arms are on the side comfortably comfortably and you're still

able to tan if you want to lay out in the pool and kind of get some color um comfortable like that's comfortable. And then also if you flip over on your, on your stomach and lay on the donut shaped floaty, you can kind of drag your legs in the back of the water and that's refreshing if you're too hot. So, and then, you know, these stupid fucking, excuse my language, these stupid unicorns and swans, um, they're not it. Okay. Those are so Coachella 2000 fucking, what was it? 2000 Coachella, 2018. Uh, that's when the swans took control of all of the pools in America. Like that's when every pool party ever on Instagram included a swan looking floaty and it's, it's, they've, they've been over, they've been overplayed or over, they've,

they've had their day. Uh, they're no longer interesting or cool. So donut shaped floaty in fact, let's upgrade this fucking donut to a tire from your local Tyson. No, we're going tractor tire. Oh my God. Oh my God. Only. Okay. Legit. Like you guys aren't from where I'm from. This won't make any sense. You get, so a tractor tire has an inside, um, flotation device. Okay. how to explain this think of a big tractor okay we all know what a big tractor looks like there's the outside there's a thick tire with the treads on it right that's thick rubber you flip those when you're doing crossfit those tires right but the inside lining is a tube just like a bike oh my god if you've ever ridden a bike you know how you have to like I used to

road bike all the time we had those so the inside of the tire has a tire tube that you blow up that's that's the part you pump up right so a tractor tire is the same thing it's just giant so what you do is you go to your local tire center or farm store or wherever the fuck the the farmers buy their tractor tires and you get a tube you get a tractor tire tube and you have them blow it up there, or you can, if you have a big shop inflator, or like, what's it called, a shop, my grandpa has one, it's like a big, fuck, what are those things called, um, pumper, a tire inflator, um, pump, air pump, if you have a big, hefty air pump on hand in your garage, that'll work too, but anyways, you blow that up, then you throw that in a river, and you float

down it, that's what I'm talking about, that's the kind of pool party I want to have, I don't even want it in a pool, I want it in a river, I want it in a shallow river, um, and I want to be on a tractor tire, amen, but because of the BuzzFeed, uh, options here, I can only choose the donut shaped Walmart floaty thing that's flimsy, but, um, we're going to pretend it's a tractor tire tube we used to buy those like we used to get those costco pools as a family and throw them in our backyard and we'd stick a fucking tractor tire tube inside of it and it would take up like the whole the entire pool would be the tractor tire and you can bounce on those so hard and make waves and splash water out and you get two people on each side there's nothing

like it but ideally you put that in a body of water with a current oh my god dude the the the fun of a tractor tire in a river you need a current yeah you can't I was like oh lakes great too lakes are fine you just kind of float around but you need I feel like the ideal situation is a current a shallow river yeah cool okay uh I just reminisce because I haven't thought about those in a while. Sorry. Uh, hashtag country in my blood. I don't fucking know. I just grew up doing that and that's all I know. So choose a song to play on full blast. Choose a song to play at my pool party. Uh, sweet child of mine, guns and roses. Don't stop me now by clean toxic by Britney Spears or Rio by Duran Duran dude sweet child of mine come on that's my song okay oh okay so the

result result I got from this quiz again I just I just did a buzzfeed.com quiz called we know which summer activity you'd like based on the pool party of your dreams and the result I got is to host a barbecue it says fire up the grill and invite some family and friends to your backyard for a feast cook up some burgers hot dogs or even steak have fun with your loved ones cool I'm gonna host a barbecue apparently I just hosted a barbecue in fact I just made the burgers at a barbecue on Friday so check that off the box already for this summer I guess it's technically it's like end of spring summer right now but thanks BuzzFeed thanks for telling me that based on my pool party choices

I should host a barbecue like again none of this I feel like these quizzes are stupid but whatever it got me through another podcast and I need to do I think four more four or more after this before I get to bed so thanks for being here thanks for hanging out thanks for coming to my pool party um hope you had a great day I'll talk to you in five minutes uh again this was episode four on my seven podcast marathon I think I'm doing seven in a row I gotta I gotta recount I feel like I'm going to double up and do too many, whatever. In conclusion, when I hit 365, which will be one year of podcasting, I will not continue 70s a week. That's where I'm at. I fucking, I figured it out. It took me 260 some episodes to figure out the seven days a week is

stretch. It's, it's stretching me too thin. And I know a lot of you probably said, I told you so day one like Jacqueline this is impossible what the fuck are you doing it's not going to be sustainable and you were right okay I it took me almost a year to figure that out I love it still I love it I just don't necessarily love it when I'm backed up and when I get busy and I the day goes by and I'm like oh should I have I have a podcast to make so anyways hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week most of the time not this last week but most of the time I'm here 99% of the time I'm here seven days a week if you need a friend if you need someone to hang out with and listen to and whatever I'll be there for you I most most of my podcasts are

an audio diary I'm saying I'm slurring my speech I'm so tired they're normally an audio diary where I get on the microphone and talk about anything and everything going on in my life in the world. And I like to talk about the news and current events. And I like to chime into the conversations being had in the world and put in my two cents. It's a lot of fun. It's very therapeutic. And I'm, I, I normally have a really good time and I'm really upbeat and I'm not like this so go listen to past episodes uh if you want to get a new different flavor because uh every day is a little different with me you know uh so yeah that's it talk to you in five minutes for the next episode on the on the marathon and yeah I hope you had a great day and I'll talk to you tomorrow okay

bye