The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 273- Bored Of The Internet

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

Happy Friday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up, guys? Happy Friday. It's episode 273. Welcome back to the show. i just ate the dumbest breakfast i think i've ever had in my life and I'm currently walking in the fridge I need a I need a sparkling water I pressed record and I'm like all right let's just talk about my breakfast let's set the scene let's get a sparkling water to wash it down because it tastes weird um I might as well tell you what it is right now uh Jimmy get out of the way we're in the kitchen this is like a vlog dude first of all Hi, it's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. I'll tell you about my breakfast, but I first have to ask you to please hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week. And I

want to confess to you guys right now, before I tell you what my breakfast was, that I'm struggling with podcasting straight up. I never thought this day would come. I committed to doing seven podcasts. I committed to doing a podcast every single day for one year, and I'm in a rut. Lately, I'm not motivated. I'm not excited like I used to be, and I don't know if it's necessary. It's not necessary to tell you that and talk about it, but I just feel different recording than I used to, and I don't like it, and I feel uninspired, and I feel out of sorts a little bit. And so, fuck it. We're going to talk about my zucchini, tuna, bitchin' sauce, yellow mustard. Let me get into the ingredients in a,

like I'm a culinary, I need to do this like a chef. So, I don't have breakfast ingredients. I realized, I'm also standing up right now. I feel like this going to give me more energy to talk, talk, stand and talk. Um, I don't really have breakfast ingredients in my home right now. I just have a lot of vegetables and meat options, but I don't have like eggs or oatmeal or berries or like yogurt, nothing like that. So I walked Jimmy this morning and I was hungry after, so I was like, okay, well I have tuna that my mom packed in my suitcase as a surprise from my trip to Washington. I got home and I unpacked my checked bag. I checked or whatever. And I unzipped the front and there was a little

surprise of like six cans of tuna. Anyways. Can you hear that? That's Jimmy's pig. Jimmy, come on do it in the other room it's kind of loud um so yeah basically what I here I'm gonna do this okay ah dude I'm so out of it sorry why are you even listening this episode is a cry for help it's a cry for I need to get I need to be re-inspired I don't know what's happening whatever I always I always say this though let me keep things into perspective I always say this. I am learning so much about myself and being disciplined and sticking to a goal throughout this podcast journey I'm on or whatever. So this is a weird phase I'm in right now, but I'm taking this as like a, or I'm treating it like a learning lesson or a opportunity to grow

and get out of it and expand or whatever and be a better podcast host on the other side but I don't know maybe maybe by the time I hit 300 it's gonna be back to what it was I don't know shit okay get a cheese grater get a big zucchini it's summer zucchinis are in season I like the green ones unfortunately I didn't have any left so I used a yellow zucchini I get the big bag from Costco it's a great buy they're organic and they're huge and I also love grilling them in the summer so get a cheese grater I've been doing this cheese grater zucchini combination ever since I was vegan and I just sometimes I don't even want to know our normal salad I want the shredded zucchini instead of a piece of lettuce or whatever so what am I saying um shred that bitch

shred the zucchini. You could use a food processor. That'd probably be a lot more convenient, but I don't know. I just, I just go to town. I shred the zucchini. I put it in a bowl. I'm using like a soup size bowl. And then I mixed, okay, this is the, this is the messed up part. I need to brush my teeth after this. Like I already brushed my teeth and I eat this. I'm like, this is disgusting. I need to brush them again. But it honestly felt, I feel good. I feel awake. Um, I'm trying to cut back on coffee. I'm trying to eat food to fuel myself and not caffeinate first or whatever. And like I had coffee, but I'm okay anyways. But sometimes I'm like, I think I'm crashing cause I don't have food in me and I just have coffee. So I'm testing this

out. I feel great, but it tastes like it has a weird aftertaste now, or there is a weird aftertaste to my mouth now. Okay. So shredded zucchini, and this is the messed up part. Bitchin' sauce. That's the Sandy 8. I think it's made in Carlsbad. It's like a almond dip sauce that kind of goes with everything. I get a big tube of that at Costco or a tub of that at Costco. So I did like a dollop of that over the shredded zucchini in the bowl yellow mustard and then my favorite barbecue sauce I also get from Costco like a tablespoon of that and then like a teeny little dash of sriracha it's I know I know I'm like I don't because normally with zucchinis and you're trying to like be healthy or whatever it's a marinara situation it's a pesto you're making

and you're basically saying hey zucchini you're a you're a you're a string of pasta you're a pasta you're a pasta substitute you're a healthier healthier alternative to pasta and so you put the type of shit you put pasta on top but I didn't have that as an option so here I am making this like barbecue chipotle tangy whatever sauce with a little sriracha for heat over the zucchini and I mixed it up it's fire it's fuck it was so good it was so good I'm not like it was good good combo then I throw that can of albacore tuna also from Costco shout out mom thank you for putting that in my suitcase I put a can of that on top and then I added kimchi I put kimchi like a little little like patch of kimchi on the side and that was my breakfast and I don't really have a lot

to talk about today other than hey I ate a weird breakfast I'm currently standing up podcasting in my hoodie and my yoga pants I walk Jimmy um I'm trying to cut back on coffee what else have I said I'm in a rut podcasting yeah let's talk about that honestly I can make this short and sweet because I got I don't know I got shit to do like I said September 4th 2020 I went all in I said I'm podcasting every single day for a year right and I've had a ton of fun I have great days when I podcast I love podcasting I never like honestly even today the second I set the headset on my face to record I get I get a little like jolt of something like I feel something It makes me excited. So that's positive. But overall, great experience so far. I'm on 273 today out of 365. I'm kind of in this like, but I'm not being, the thing is, is I'm not being disciplined about the podcast and the content and like what I'm talking about and what I'm creating because I don't take notes like I used to in my notebook anymore.

I don't write stuff down as I think about it throughout the day on my phone and my notes. I don't check the news all the time and look like I haven't, I haven't even talked about Bill Gates divorce. I haven't talked about this Floyd Mayweather, Logan Paul fight. I haven't talked about the Bitcoin conference or whatever. Like I haven't been talking about things going on, which is something I'm normally, um, in tune with. And I feel like that's what's slipping right now.

And so whatever, you know what, I'm going to go through this weekend, knock out a Saturday, Sunday podcast after this uh over the next couple days and then I'll show up Monday and I'll be like new week new me new podcast new inspiration new goals new dreams new flavor new I don't know maybe I'll buy eggs you know what I think's missing in my life actual breakfast foods I'm turning into a I don't even know like it's kind of it's like healthy though right like I eat a lot of meat and vegetables but for breakfast who the fuck eats tuna and zucchini like that with barbecue sauce like I'm that's embarrassing I mean I don't get it this is the thing

okay okay okay this is what I love about myself ever since I started podcasting literally nothing embarrasses me anymore and I don't give a shit about like being disgusting or gross or weird or like ew who does that or oh that's like nothing embarrasses me and I and I volunteer I like volunteer the information first to like protect me from like no one can come at me because I'm already thinking it I'm already saying it I'm already saying what you're thinking that is a disgusting breakfast I know but I don't care you know what I mean like so I love that about myself now or that that's something I've totally like

found in myself through podcasting is that like I can't get embarrassed so anyways um and there's so many times I end an episode where I'm like oh Jesus what did I just do and then two seconds later I'm like I don't care so that's cool that's growth I used to be super insecure year as a young early 20s Jacqueline who was a giant people pleaser and wanted everyone to like her and I was always trying to like be friends with the people like oh my god I'm currently going through this I'm currently going through this my issue in my past with friends and like finding people to um hang with and or whatever is that or it was that I admired people for like the wrong reasons and like when I really boiled it down we didn't have like

we had we didn't have things in common I just I just looked up to them and in terms of like oh they're popular or they're like um they're popular a lot of people like them and so therefore I want to be friends with them or whatever right but I'm like well well there there isn't a like but in in reality when I'd hang out with them right I'd try to be friends with them it's like the it's like get a personality that's not all about you looking hot or like be like being like a scene and like being popular or whatever like I finally figured that out like that's literally all I've explained that's literally what especially in this fucking Southern California place I'm in right now it's like that's kind of the pool of people and it's

hard to find like I know they're out there and I actually met someone on a walk the other day I just like bumped into her and she's like do you want to be friends and it was just like such a natural like nice experience where I'm like I don't feel like I'm being sized up or I'm you know we're just like being normal anyways so yeah I guess in the past I just wanted to like be with the popular people that, you know, looked good, that looked good. I'm, I'm admitting it. I'm fucking admitting it because you need hot friends. You do. It's true. I, I'm not saying that you can't, what am I even saying? I'm just like, I just, I'm bored of it now. I'm like, I need more. I need more. The internet's even boring me. I was just listening to Casey Fry say that on, um,

Casey Fry, Fry, Fry. Casey Fry just said he's like bored of the internet and bored of people too. Like, okay, okay, okay. Let me break this down. Um, Casey Fry was on this past weekend with Theo Vaughn and I was listening to it and he said he just sounded maxed out. He just sounded like, I'm not, he even said, he's like, I'm not inspired anymore. I did what I did with social media the internet's everything's boring on the internet now and I felt that and I feel the same kind of like if you look like a internet like I I love social media right I love like everything it's I mean it's great for so many reasons I don't even know what I'm saying um but I'm just like bored of the what's it called like if you

I don't know I think it's I think it's it's dying like influencers at this point I feel like you have to be an educator you have to teach people of like actual helpful information that's going improve their life at this point like I think the consumer like I think people that I don't know when I do I want to go on this tangent now what was I saying I'm like I struggled having friend I struggled finding friends or whatever because it was just a bunch of like fake stupid like ditzy hot people who didn't have a personality or something in common with me and then I was looking up to them for stupid superficial reasons and then I decided now I'm like okay you can be that way but I need some more I need something more than that and then um anyways Jesus and

then I'm like I'm okay Casey Fry said he was burned out of the internet see I'm trying to keep track I'm trying to keep track I don't have caffeine on board right now but I had but I got tuna inside is this the tuna talking is this the am I in a am I in a tuna fish coma oh my god it's literally like too early in the day for this I'm I'm not embarrassed why am I shaking my wrists I did I did okay like 17 topics were just brought up I was about to go on a new tangent about jamming my thumb and jamming my wrist and how every time I pick up Jimmy now it doesn't get it's like it never gets better because I pick up my dog to put him on my bed and like anyways um so why did I get on this talk like why am I on this stupid topic right now

social media I'm burnt out I keep saying that I've said it so many times but um I don't like this is what it is okay so shout out Casey Fry that was a great I felt that you're like bored of the internet you've we've all done it now for so long especially if you're like a upper 20s millennial like we've been at this thing since my space okay like we've been at it since even before whatever was before that like we've kind of had our day in a way and I felt like anyways um here's what I'm uh turned off by and just so bored of now obviously I don't like anyone that takes themselves too seriously okay but if you take yourself too seriously when it comes to like social media stuff and like influencing and all that it's so like

I just I am so like I can't I can't see a fucking like if you have a code if you have a code in 2021 unless you're a podcaster and that's legit I feel like that's badass but like if you're on if you're telling me to swipe up I'm just I'm out I just like everything about that now is I feel like it's done it's over it's dead stop I don't care I don't want to look at it I'm I need to unfollow like 50,000 people but anyways like what's next what's next after so we've did this we've done the swipe up we've done the influencer like um marketing shit what's next is everyone just going to be a micro influencer because that's kind of sad I feel like that's saturated now at first it was like okay bloggers

and then it was like you know you're youtubers there's like this there's still a population of people on Instagram that exists it's like mega they're like mega accounts like massive bloggers from like Dubai and they have like 15 million followers you don't even know who they are but they're just like somebody right I feel like that's done and then like the real life people that are like hey I just went to Trader Joe's here's a haul and they're in their like quirky like I just went to fucking I just rode my peloton this morning outfit and they're like at home and they have a dog and they're like normal people like that population there's so many of those that I feel like that's done and then now it's like micro influencers who are you know I get

what is it like less than 10k that's like everyone's a micro influencer everyone has around a thousand five thousand ten to ten thousand followers it's just like everyone is an influencer her what the I'm okay so Jacqueline we're gonna also okay back to what I said in the beginning I don't come with notes I don't come with a clear plan so what I'm gonna do right now is end that topic about whatever I just said because it wasn't cohesive none of this is cohesive none of it tracks or goes together and I'm just gonna like end the episode honestly I don't know what to talk about other than okay I'm just it's like a work day I'm probably gonna take a nap at some point um not not just like that's that's usually a part of my day like a 20 minute power nap I'm

probably gonna walk jimmy again tonight um and do my nails and stuff like i don't know i found a book by the way there's an update i got this book at a store at a thrift store that uh oh cute couple walking by me hi um just like a nice he definitely golfs whatever that man's hat says is a golfing hat so I'll end the episode with this I found a horse book it's called the horse and it's it's an old book I got at a thrift store and when I saw it I had a flashback because this is the book this is like a coffee table size book right but when I was little kid I checked out this book the small version of it I literally would keep it for an entire I would keep checking it out renewing it at the library for like the whole year and I

remember there's like me and another girl in my class and then my sister we would like rotate who would use it because we would like because every page has a different breed of horse on it it's like an encyclopedia of horses and I just remember like trying to draw the horses and then I would take notes on the different like characteristics of the horse and I would sometimes I would trace the outline of the horse first to like get the shape of it right like I don't know so I that's there's an update I got a new book for my home and it's called horse the encyclopedia of the horse And, yeah, like, when I think about it, I don't know what grades, but probably from, like, second grade to fifth. I'd say it was, like, yeah, second maybe to fourth or fifth grade every year.

That little white, it was white, that little horse encyclopedia book was in my backpack. And I would take it home and I would, I remember, like, the librarian, Mrs. Verrill, would, like, and she like every time I checked it out or renewed it she like I don't even know we had this thing about that horse book I was such a horse nerd I don't even know why like I was uh I didn't like do any professional riding or anything I went to like horse camp we had horses or we had a pony we had like an old horse at one point we always had like something in the pasture that look like a horse I don't know I just I just felt like horses did something to me as a kid and they still do it's just like I'm trying to tell you I'm not one of those like oh you're a horse

girl like I'm it's not to me I don't identify as a like low braid uh tight what are those like dressage pants. Like, um, I don't even know. There's a horse girl look. I feel like there is a, there's a horse girl look. It's a kind of a combination between, um, polygamy, polygamy, Amish women and polygamy. No, polygamy. This is fucked up. Uh, it's like Christian. isn't that right like it's just like a Christian vibe what's the let me google horse girl aesthetic maybe in California though like I know there's a lot of places to ride around here I bet the girls are a lot more like with it like the horse girls horse girl aesthetic images

oh these are all like tumblr pics it's like oh oh my god this is it horse girl who got into video games in japan in high school slash college this that's what it is they they were they were like I'm thinking of a specific person in my elementary school and she would she loved like anime and like she would wear like cat ears and shit and like weird she on the playground her and these other girls would run they would gallop like horses for fun like they thought they were like they acted out they weren't riding the horse they were the horse um shout out to them honestly they didn't give a fuck they were

live action role-playing or whatever people that live action role-played and larped were the most solid at peace people with themselves or whatever like the weird like I tweeted this one time I deleted my Twitter, but I remember, I think it's on my Instagram. I had an epiphany that people who are weird are just better at being themselves. Like when you see someone doing something wacky out in public or like at school out on the picnic tables in the courtyard during lunch, these kids would have like robes on and they didn't have any equipment. They were just like sorting each other with an invisible sword. Like when you see these kinds of people, like understand they, they, they're having, they're happy. They're happy as fuck. They're, they love

life. They don't, I mean, I'm sure they have their days and they might be depressed because they're not, I don't know what, whatever. I'm just saying that they're comfortable enough. Like social anxiety doesn't exist it's just they don't give a fuck just having fun and doing whatever they that makes doing whatever makes them happy and if that's having an invisible sword and stabbing your friend with it in a brown cape on a high school campus at lunchtime in front of everyone. It is what it is. Anyways, um, I was a, yeah, I was a kind of a horse girl, but like a, I was low key about it. I wasn't, I didn't know. I didn't have like merch. I would buy the, um, I would buy those pony pal books and read those and if there was a horse book at the

scholastic book fair I would usually buy one of the horse books um anyways I'm gonna end this episode in summary she's in a rut nothing connects there isn't cohesive cohesive topics are out the window things that like go together are out the window um I feel like I want to redo the part I talked about the part of this episode where I talked about how I used to want to be friends with people for the wrong reasons and that whole talk like I just feel like I didn't say that correctly um do I have any end of the episode edits for that segment I mean nah I mean I said what I said I don't even know what I said but I feel like what I was trying to get at is that as I'm getting older like things that used to look important to me and that's a

whole thing my younger self was so drawn to things looking good including like who my friends were and like who the people I admired and looked up to like that was such but now as I'm getting older it's like back burner I don't care like it it's honestly to me my brain is bored of it and it's like not impressed. It's not impressed. I'm not impressed anymore. I used to be impressed by that aesthetic vanity, like flashy, rich, popular, cool, lots of, um, you know, they looked like a bunch of people like them. That's kind of, uh, I do kind of get embarrassed sometimes. I was kind of embarrassing to admit, but it's cause like, it's, uh, there's a social hierarchy in this world and I thought okay if I'm associated with that kind of group then I'll be happy or whatever

or I'll feel like I fit in but the more I've met the point is like the more I've been around that and tried to be friends with it the more I'm realizing that it's like it doesn't it just there's I'm bored I'm not impressed I just don't care I don't give a I just don't I don't know I'm I'm I'm just growing up I'm changing and it's not really a diss it's just like it's a whole lifestyle to be caught up in vanity metrics and vanity and like you know and I feel like I've been there too I'm one to I'm honestly one to talk I feel like I used to really give a shit about my it's not like I'm letting myself go like I still give a shit about my appearance but I'm I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not, um, I don't take myself too seriously about it.

And I'm not full of, I'm not full of shit in my head about it. And like full of myself and arrogant about it. And like, you can't, you can't touch this. I'm so hot. I'm so popular. I'm so cool. Like those people I'm out, I'm done. I can't do it anymore.

And that's why I'm just like, I got to unfollow some people. I'm getting burned out of it. it's cringy dude Instagram's getting cringy so anyways um do you guys know what I mean like voguing for the camera is so cringy to me now and I used to think that was cool like oh look at you're like taking hot selfie video it's like guys and girls anyone who's like really voguing for the camera now is making me upset I'm like cut the cut it out what are you doing unless you're unless you're a ford model or a img or a select or like if you're a paid model go for it do it but like sometimes it's like becky from sorry this is fucked up it sounds like i'm judging and

critiquing other women and women support women right and that's fucked up fucked up of me to do it's not like that I'm just saying like it's cringy it's cringy it's fucking cringy maybe I'm cringy for saying this maybe my whole aesthetic and my whole like she doesn't care she can't be embarrassed and she's just so chill and she just like says whatever she wants on her podcast and just like hangs out with people and she thinks she's so interesting and people want to listen to her life maybe that's cringy I don't know whatever I'm having fun do whatever you know what, Jacqueline, I gotta, I gotta correct my behavior, at heart, I, I always say this, do whatever makes you happy, and if that's voguing for the camera, and, and if you're, if, if making,

if being happy means, like, looking popular online, or whatever, then fucking do it, I don't care, but it's like, you know what, I gotta share my opinion, because that's what I do here, I'm, I get curious about human behavior, I've always been that way, I'm curious about what makes people, how people work what makes them tick why they do things so I get curious about it I observe it in the real world or on social media and then I talk about it and I form an opinion about it and I share that and I share in an unfiltered unrehearsed way where sometimes I'm like ah this was a I don't know I here's the thing I'm so well my intentions are always pure right I don't mean harm on anyone or I'm like I'm it's like literally not on my radar to like I'm not

intentionally trying to like be mean or do any of that so I say things and I corrected that part of the stigma earlier because I'm like I just don't want to make I'm like I hope I hope I didn't make anyone upset but that's my that's the thing it's like my old people pleaser self is so worried about like oh I don't want someone to be pissed off at me or someone all like me so I have to make sure I cover all my bases and say everything in a nice way eventually. And fuck. You know what I think's killing the podcast lately is me overthinking. And that was so me in 2020.

Like early 2020, I would sit and overthink all day long. And I would get depressed and sad. And dude, nobody cares. Like I don't, like legit. Like I overthink and I spiral and I, and I edit and I overcorrect or whatever, because I'm worried about stuff that doesn't matter. Cause nobody cares at the end of the day, nobody cares. So I'll be, uh, I'll try to work on that. Just like saying it and not give it, not, not worrying so much. Spiraling is, I don't even know. It's like so me 2020. It's so me brown hair.

how did I get like this dude is this a result of what is this a result of here overthinking again like why am I me asking myself why am I like this at the end of the episode Jimmy is humping my leg hey off get your duck get your duck get your duck hump your duck it's hard to parent him when I podcast because I can't like say anything and like be loud and obnoxious but get your duck there you go okay thank you for hanging out happy Friday hope you have a great weekend hit that subscribe button I'm here seven days a week um honestly go into my dms write a review on the podcast app wherever you're listening to this and let's have a conversation because if you've been here since the beginning

like i kind of want to know like where you're at is this all getting redundant now are you getting bored of me is it same shit different day like you know is do you sense what i'm feeling about these episodes lately like i'm just kind of uninspired and just kind of like i don't know what to talk about you know what i blame it on this weather not to talk about the weather and the not to make this even more jesus the may gray june gloom in san diego this year is so heavy it's heavy and it's like a cloud cover thing where the marine the marine layer in over the city by the coast doesn't really go away it stays great all day long right and i blame it on that blame it on

the goose got me feeling loose blame it on the trone got me in the zone blame it on the alcohol blame it on the alcohol alcohol not to quote jamie foxx but um blame it on the may gray speaking of songs that's why i love podcasting because i can i can talk forever seeing green with little wayne Nicki Minaj and Drake, Minaj and Drake, is a heat-seeking missile of a song. That song, that's another, that's another song, that song is perfect, and just everything about it. It's straight rap, through and through, straight rap. That's what I love about it. You get Lil Wayne, then you get Nicki, then you get Drake, straight rap all the way through. Nicki killed it, Lil wind killed it. Drake killed it. He finished it out great. It's one of those songs like

Get Low, Little John. Like you hear it. What's another? There's like songs, you know, from like classics, all timers that every time you hear it, you feel something. It's like it hits. Everyone like across the world feels something when they hear those songs. And like Get Low is a great example that beat like and I feel like seeing green is the first song in a long time that I'm like damn little Wayne first of all little Wayne hasn't sounded that good since the fucking like Carter 2 and I don't think he was auto-tuned either it was just I don't really talk about music that much on the show but check it out seeing green it's a great song um I loved it Nicki Minaj I feel like when she is featured on songs what's that called yeah she like brings

that's like when she's at her best I feel like the verses when she just has a song but when she's like on another song it's like damn girl and I'm so glad like I am team Nicki over Cardi like I've always been that way but it just like listening to her verses I'm like this is why she's better like I like no offense to Cardi but I'm not a big Cardi B fan I've ranted about her in the past but it's probably because I've been brainwashed by um Candace Owens her IG story clapbacks to Cardi B whatever I've changed when I really think about it I could do an entire episode I'm not going to keep going right now but my mindset and like the way I see things in this world especially with

pop culture and people and relationships and friendships and everything it's so different and like evolved from what it used to be and I I'm like hyper aware of it now and I think it's because of obviously podcasting and talking things out every day but it's kind of weird it's like whoa is this maturity is this growing up like who I was two years ago versus now is like so different and like the way I like the way I see things is so different shout out 2020 you really did a solid on me and my i don't even know okay i think i tried to end this five minutes ago and i said hit that subscribe button and dm me so yeah do that again please do that and i hope you have a great weekend

i hope you have fun and i hope you don't do anything this is your life advice my sixth grade um a teacher who got fired because apparently he was a uh he had like child porn on his computer or whatever. Mr. C, I'm not going to say his actual last name. I think he was fired for that. Every time we would leave the classroom, he would go, don't do anything you couldn't do on a bicycle. And there's your weekend life advice. Don't do anything. You can't do it on a bicycle. Don't do it. All right. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye.