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Hey guys, it's episode 281. Welcome back to the show.
okay i gotta get out of the sun i'm in my kitchen sitting at the table i'm gonna walk and talk
This is a Q&A number, is it 35? Yeah, 35 today. Q&A number 35. So every Saturday I do a Q&A.
I've been doing this for 35 weeks now. I want to jump right into it. But first, if you're new,
please hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week. This is Jacqueline speaking,
by the way. Hi, it's Jacqueline. I didn't even say hi. Hi, how's your week going? What's up?
Yeah, hit that subscribe button. I'm here seven days a week. And let's just get into it. I don't
want a small talk. I'm trying to think of what to say other than it's getting hot. It's feeling
like summer. Why did I just say that so awkwardly? It's feeling like summer. It's... Jesus Christ.
maybe I should move to my room where it's really dark uh no I gotta stay out here um
it's feeling like it's feeling like summer am I congested wait a minute do I have COVID no
I just feel like there's something making me sound nasally
do I honestly don't I always anyways
it feels like summer in southern California it's been hot out my apartment gets hot as
shit in the summer so yeah I guess to set the scene I've moved to the living room I'm standing
I feel like a DJ I have my laptop in front of me in front of my window with the blinds down
talking at a wall and I'm also standing in front of my TV that I never mounted you know this TV
came into my life a year ago and I really wanted to mount it. I really wanted to make it look nice,
you know what I mean? But I don't know how to mount a TV and I didn't reach out and ask for
help. So it's currently sitting in front of the window on a nice vintage. This is actually one of
one of my favorite pieces of furniture that I bought when I moved to California. It's a green
dresser with feet. It's very traditional Victorian. The cool thing about it though, is it has
a marble slab on top. So it's like a nice heavy piece. See my TV sitting on top of that.
uh anyways I need to do I need to do the Q&A so I can either do guys go listen to what is it two
episodes ago if you want to know the dirty little secret about my podcast right now like currently
today as I'm recording uh two episodes ago we'll explain what's going on uh basically normally on
a normal week I take questions from Instagram on Saturday but there's a little going on a little
secret so I gotta I gotta see I gotta look to the internet for questions what am I hey Jacqueline
quit the small talk nobody cares nobody cares details man you gotta include them all I like
to be descriptive when I podcast I like to include everything that comes to my mind so I have two I
have two lanes I can go today with the questions I can go down the rabbit the rabbit hole excuse
me I can go down the random question generator uh uh machine on Google or I can go to Reddit
and find ridiculous questions to answer I'm feeling what do I feel I feel like I'm I feel
like I'm in a fun mood I want to keep it light I don't want to talk about like because the the
google random question generator thing gets kind of deep um reddit ridicule i'm not even
queued up ridiculous questions do i have a beverage let me get a drink while this loads
i'm gonna get my booch um
health aid booch pop ginger fizz is the flavor i'm drinking
Here we go. What are some of the most ridiculous questions you dot dot dot
you've seen on a job application? No, that's not what I want.
What is your favorite absurd hypothetical question? Maybe these will be fun.
Would you still jack off? Okay. First one. I just started reading the first one. Next. Next.
what are you the one percent of
definitely podcasts that a daily I'm definitely part of the one percent of people that podcast
seven days a week you know what I mean like like is it that's why I'm like I'm so annoyed that
after a year I'm in such a down phase like this whole thing has been a journey of learning about
myself and how to do a podcast and everything, but I am in such a dip right now of like an
inspiration and I'm out of the flow. Like I was in, in the beginning, I feel like I'm coming back
into it because, or I'm like getting back because I'm aware of it now for, for a minute there. I
feel like when I hit 200, it became, it felt more like a chore. I just felt like, I don't know,
something was changing in the air. Maybe it was the pollen. Maybe it was springtime.
um I'm maybe I have allergies wait a minute I've had congestion like sneezing or not well yeah I
sneeze a lot drippy nose that kind of stuff for the entirety of the spring so far um maybe I
maybe there's something in the air that's making me have a reaction I don't know
but I think I can't cut the congestion I mean I'm better than I was but okay anyways
again Jacqueline who gives a fuck okay um but yeah I'm at this point though where
after episode 365 when I complete one year straight of podcasting which was my goal
set on September 4th 2020 if I don't
if I break the chain, I'm scared that if I break the chain, I'm going to have regret. And I'll be
like, damn, I could have gone two years straight, three years straight, five years straight. This
could be my thing. I could just wake up every day. I mean, you know how people wake up every day and
brush their teeth, drink coffee, take a shit. Like I could just wake up every day, do all those
things and do a podcast. Like it's nothing like it's just part of who I am. So I'm a little bit
like if I break the chain I feel like I need to though like to be honest I don't know it's a it's
a lot to put in someone's inbox like it's it's like I'm spamming my listeners and it's like are
they even what kind of what kind of value Jacqueline Jacqueline as a podcast host as a content creator
you need to consider other people and their time and their brain cells and like are you adding
value to their life or are you just wasting their time so yeah sometimes I feel like I'm just
talking out of my ass seven days a week and then posting it and then people listen and it's like
is this helping anyone is it adding value I hope so I know it is because you know what I listen to
podcast for the it's just in our this isn't it's not rocket science it's entertainment okay we're
hanging out you're my friend that's it doesn't need to we don't need to dissect this any further
so question number one was what are you the one percent of daily podcast hosts all right all right
what are some deeply unsettling facts that you know
oh i just learned something yesterday what was it
okay okay okay listen listen close
fortune cookies
chinese fortune cookies
originated in japan next question all right
they ain't Chinese bitch I think that happened early 1900s something happened and then the
Chinese came into San Francisco started Chinatown and then I don't know basically they turned into
Chinese fortune cookies instead of the Japanese whatever they were before that so that's a deeply
unsettling fact that I know second that was question number two all right
um what's a book everyone should read at least once in their life lives mind conf next question
i don't fucking know what one book everyone should read at least once in their life i mean
what are my go-tos what are my biggest recommendations um let me look at my shelf here
go dogs go dr seuss was my favorite book i'm kidding uh where the sidewalks end shell
silverstein fucking i don't know let me look eckhart tolle what do we got here i mean napoleon
hill's great think and grow rich you know i think the first time i think that was like the first
big girl book I read like how do I explain that like it was the first like out of college maybe
before was I reading it I read it in college actually like I went out of my way to read like
a book like that I don't know it wasn't something I was recommend or I was told to read in class
you are a badass is a great book although all of those like you are who's it by sincero guys I feel
like I'm really fucking up no everywhere you go there you are something like that that book's
great that's a book everyone should read wherever you go there you are go get that on go go get that
on Amazon oh oh my god Alchemist Alchemist great book I could keep going I mean my favorite book
well one of the books that changed my life was um the 50th law a Robert Greene 50 cent book but I
feel like it was one of those books where at the time it was the perfect book for me you know what
mean? But it's not, I don't know. There's better. I mean, there's so many great books out there.
Does she read that much? Not really. Can you tell? I kind of had this, uh,
how do I say this? Realization. Yeah. I've kind of had this realization that
I don't love reading. I don't love, I like the idea of reading more than I enjoy reading,
but every time I start reading and I make a habit of it, I'm like, I love reading.
I want to read all the books so I feel like it's a thing in my life that will be
I'll go that will come and go in phases and once I'm in I'm locked in like I'll get obsessed I'll
read a ton of books and then I'll stop for like six months to a year but I always read in the
summer if I'm at the beach I always have a beach book I am so congested
sorry, um, what are early signs of an abusive partner, oh, I got this, um,
okay, red flag number one, huge red flag, they don't ask you about your family at all,
They don't care about, or your past. Oh my God. I, they literally, the person I'm thinking of
legitimately never knew about past. Like it was all about him, him, him, him, him, him, him,
the entire time. And it's like, he never asked me about myself, my family,
my education, my past jobs, my hobbies, none of that. Like I would have to like volunteer it all
the time and I would tell him and then he would just like move on to him I would like flip back
to him that's a big red flag for a narcissistic abusive manipulator gas lighter um god that's
such a thing though being an like I'm a my nature is be is very um I'm a cancer you know what what's
the song what's the Jack Harlow song right now quick question are you a cancer hell not what's
that little rap everyone's doing on TikTok right now I'm a cancer I'm a rising Leo wait my rising
sign is Leo which makes sense but I'm a cancer which also makes sense based on everything I've
read and now I'm not the zodiac queen I'm not the zodiac I'm not like what am I saying
I just love reading about it it's interesting and I feel like there are a lot of patterns as
I get older that I notice among signs like people and the signs attributed to them so I don't know
it's interesting I don't know enough about it to be like I'm not I don't think I'll ever be
convinced but as far as I'm concerned my signs or whatever makes sense but um it's so true back to
the abusive partner question thing um narcissists love empathetic nurturing type of people who will
exhaust themselves to do everything for the narcissist and help them in every way because
I get fuel like what makes I show love through like I think helping and taking care of people
like I need to nurture something that's why I love that I have a dog now because I feel like
I finally have something to take care of besides myself like I it puts me out of my head and like
my own shit and it like puts me into something someone else's world so like just having to feed
him and walk him and take care of him all the time so um but in the past relationship I was in
it was completely like I lost I literally lost like my okay not to be dramatic but I feel like
my soul got stripped and I lost my identity and who I was like I didn't know who I was after it
because my entire life was their life and everything about them and anyways it's common
though like I had to I learned like I had to get a ton of help for it and read about it and learn
about it after the fact and I think that that was a blessing and I always have fond or I always look
at bad relationships or toxic partners or whatever as that's that's life you know what I mean it's
not always good it's not always and sometimes you're naive like I was and you learn you come
on the other side with lessons and you grow from it. And I think that it's necessary to go through
the pain to, got to go through the pain to experience the joy. I don't know. Early signs
of an abusive partner. What's another one? I'd say like, obviously like treating the waiter
rudely. Like if they're a hothead at little stuff, that makes me uncomfortable. Like I don't like a
explosive hothead like you just see the rage in like their heads always like there's always a vein
on their forehead exposed because they're about to pop at any moment um I don't know I don't want
to do this question it's kind of dark um dude I am I'm gonna drink water I need to blow I need
should I do a neti pot um I'm in my kitchen now it sounds like I'm peeing can you hear that
I'm just so casual here on the show. I walk around with my, I'm literally in a nightgown.
I'm in a nightgown, in my kitchen, holding up my laptop with my left hand,
wearing a pop star call center employee headset, drinking a water with my right hand.
I don't think I've ever blown my nose on the show, but I'm not gonna, I'm not about to do that right
now. What's the worst house guest experience you've had? Ooh, the worst house guest experience
I've ever had. Oh, I feel like I know, I have something in my head right now. I'm like trying
remember the scenario can I do roommate instead like I had a really slobby roommate who like
never it was just so gross like I don't know you know looking back I think she was really depressed
and I didn't it was only like a three-month thing or something but like she had a phase of laying
around on the couch like every day this is I shouldn't say this and make it sound like a bad
thing basically she would have she'd like order food and there'd be empty half-eaten boxes of food
on the um coffee table and then like like popcorn all over the couch and garbage everywhere and it
was just like her little spot and it just like yeah I should have reached I should have I don't
know we talked every day but I don't like that kind of stuff where it's like you're literally
disgusting and like clean up after yourself we are adults like that kind of stuff doesn't sit
ride with me, but I can understand, like, I've been there, like, sometimes, like, I was walking
my dog, not that I'm depressed, but, like, sometimes we get sloppy, and we're in our big
t-shirts, like, I had a burrito, like, I, I think I'm in a, guys, I, I'm in a long, long-term
committed relationship, not only with Southern California, but with the Southern California
burrito, dude, not the, I don't get the one with the french fries in it, that's too much for me,
Like I don't, I had it before. It's not my, I just, it's like too much, but a nice little like
surf and turf or a fish burrito or a what's it called? Yeah. Like a mahi, what is it? Fish?
No. What's it called? A pes, pescado, pescado burrito. I probably eat a burrito from the taco
shop. My favorite taco shop once a week here. Uh, once every two weeks probably. Cause it's summer.
no um but I had a burrito the other night and I was walking Jimmy and I had this big t-shirt on
and I noticed there was just like food fucking everywhere because I was literally just like on
my couch horizontal eating the burrito watching tv and I'm not like I said I'm not depressed but
like sometimes that happens and we get sloppy and you know what I mean like it's kind of disgusting
to admit but I don't know a little bit of filth happens but in that case my roommates in the case
of my roommate on the couch just that was gross but the worst house guest experience I've had
oh when I was in
fuck can I even talk about this I don't know if I can I don't really know if I want to
talk about this traumatic experience I had let's just say I thought I was exclusively dating
someone and I found out I wasn't pretty quickly well yeah I found out I wasn't and that there
were multiple other people and so speaking so house guests would so I was there and someone
else was also there at the same time and I was like oh okay hi like what the fuck is going on
that type of thing like someone else is in the picture that's kind of a vague way of explaining
it but and that will make your stomach roll into a knot for days and it will make you go fucking
crazy and I did well looking back at that time like I literally was in such a chronic state of
fight or flight all the fucking time and I was always like in this relationship I mean I was
just like always like uneasy and like I didn't it was crazy how I'm like Jacqueline I could easily
I felt like I had to stay in it I don't know how to explain it I was like this is so after the fact
I'm like oh my god me now would have immediately ditched and gotten out of there but the time I
was just like I felt like this polarizing energy like I had to stay or stay around and it's hard
to explain but I just remember I'd sit outside really late at night and I couldn't sleep and
I just like look at the stars and watch satellites anyways let's move on um what time okay I gotta
keep track of time what is something you did when you were younger that you were still facing the
consequences of oh picking my zits oh my god that I told you guys a spider bite on my butt story
yeah when I was a little girl when I don't want to like sexualize my younger Jesus Christ basically
I was a little girl I don't know I got a bite I got a bad insect bite on my butt now there's a
little tiny scar that's visible and I kind of have a dimple where it's at on my butt cheek and it's
just like I'm still I feel like that's annoying you know what I mean like I just knowing that
it's there is annoying it's small but it looks like I have a little um it's like a little dent
right down the middle of my butt cheek you know what I mean also like what do I have scars
those aren't it's not like I'm suffering from my scars Jesus I'm being so dramatic
something I'm some oh I know something that I'm suffering the consequences of now
in all seriousness is what is the question something I did when I was younger that I'm
still facing the consequences of is younger meaning teens early 20s like living with so
much insecurity and hatred of myself and like being super in my head all the time like I feel
like the result of that the the result of that is I was never really living life I was never really
connecting with people because I would sit around in my own BS and act sad. And then I wasn't
inspired to like, like whenever I'd socialize and do stuff, it was like, I don't know. I never
really made great connections because I wasn't well, I wasn't healed with myself. I didn't love
myself. So yeah, I'd have fun and I'd make friends and I'd do things, but
they didn't really stick around. You know what I mean? Or like, I just kind of moved on
and I've had to like basically spend the middle of my 20s figuring that out. I finally faced
myself in 2020 and I was like, Jacqueline, figure it out. And now I'm like obnoxiously
all about the self-love. Like I love everything about myself. Like I fully accept who I am,
all the weird quirks and stupid shit. Like I'm completely in love with myself and not in a
like a narcissistic way or whatever, like, that's kind of weird to admit, but I'm like,
actually, Jacqueline, you're the shit, like, I think I'm pretty cool, like, I really do, I think
I'm a, I can hang, I can talk about anything, I can be, I can talk to anyone, I'm, like, fun and,
like, super positive and just, like, I don't know, I'm a good time, I'm the good time girl,
that's kind of who I've turned into I just want to have a good time and not be sad and think about
shit that literally doesn't matter so I feel like the consequences I'm suffering now are or like
now my life has turned to fuck this is depressing it I just feel like I'm a lot lonelier now because
of it yeah can anyone else relate or am I crazy um that's what's depressional duty it'll keep you
in your little bubble you'll isolate you'll self-isolate you won't go out you won't meet
people you won't be like you just want to hide and that's literally how I live so much of my life
as an adult and I mean I had great don't get me wrong I had some great phases but then I would
slip back and then you know what I mean it was just like it wasn't sustained I get on I get on
these highs, maybe, am I, like, is this, like, a personality disorder? No, I get on these, like,
fate, I get in phases of everything's going good, and then everything crashes,
and everything's going good, everything crashes, I feel like that's life, but
sometimes when I crash, I crash hard, is that manic, is that, so, what is that, is that manic,
I swear, I've been told in a heated battle of family screaming, where people were not getting
along that Jacqueline you need to check yourself in you're crazy you're manic I don't even know
what the terms they were using but I had never thought about my like when someone puts a label
on you out of nowhere and I've never even heard of these things I'm like I don't even know what
you're talking about here in my head I think I'm fine and they're like this behavior check yourself
in girl and I know they were just digging at me and trying to like jab because we were fighting
and yelling but dude all of my this is what I love about my family and I say this all the time
we get into we go we go to war we go to war we yell at each other we're you know we hold each
other accountable we get really personal sometimes which is not a great thing but
we always like literally the next day we're hugging it out and everyone's fine and we talk
it out we like decompress we debrief after the argument and everything it always turns out good
And I always, like, we grow from those little feuds and fights.
They never stay.
They never, that's what I love about my family.
We never just, like, keep, we never hold grudges or whatever and, like, remember the bad things we say to each other when we're mad.
Like, or we might remember, but, like, I mean, obviously I did.
Does that make sense?
Okay, cool.
Next question.
Jesus.
what screams the person that everyone hates, what screams the person that everyone hates,
I don't, I don't want to do this, I mean,
what's annoying that people do that, I mean, like, stuff in public,
yeah, like, when you're in public, and
it's like a scenario
like that person that stands out of the crowd and goes against the grain for some god like
they don't like they're not they don't get they're not uh what's they don't
pass the vibe check but i'm trying to think of a specific situation
i don't want i can't i i'm what's the next one what screams rich asshole
oh fluffy gucci loafers no those are kind of like past now those are so like 2018 2019
i don't know how to explain this but there is a rich okay there there is a middle-aged
entrepreneur there's a middle-aged rich entrepreneur vibe and like aesthetic that I
can't even it's like an energy and it's a way of talking and it's a like they don't really dress
that nice they usually wear like a hat how do I explain this I've been like I've been around the
startup world now for a few years and every one of them has this like aura of it's like slick like
a salesman but yet they're super humble at the same time for whatever reason they're super like
low-key about how they dress but then when they talk they're so eloquent and they're everything
they say just makes so much sense about like business and shit and they're so well spoken
about it and they're just like you know what it is they're older maybe they've had some face work
done like their 40s 50s 60s but they have the like swagger of an 18 year old like the young
energy of a like an 18 year old or something I don't know I don't know why I'm talking about
this where did this come from because I can count like I can think of like 10 people right now who
all have it that I've met and I'm like what is it like why does is it just wealthy people just I
don't know there's a vibe and it's not like an asshole vibe it's like a I don't know
I just love listening you know my one of my favorite things working at a startup company
were the investor meetings and meetings where I would just like sit and get to listen people talk
and like hear about business and how it all works and I was like oh my god this is I like never had
experienced that before I didn't like it that's though that job or that time was an example of
like you don't really know what until you get to the real world until you're actually in those
meetings actually in those rooms with those people like that's when you really figure how
stuff works figure out how stuff works and I don't know it kind of felt like I was in a movie
there'd be like big tables and high-rise offices and I was like whoa I'm this is this is big time
now this is like what it's like to I don't know it's pretty cool I don't know what screams the
person everyone hates that seems like an easy question what are the comments I don't want to
well let's do it just I'll just uh cheat and read the comments
usually if you're a real genuine person you don't need to go around screaming it and declaring it
either yeah like people that label themselves as drama free or like good vibes only as an
Instagram bio like that kind of stuff I just don't like it it's kind of corny um and just
like unnecessary I don't like labels I don't I currently don't have a bio on Instagram I don't
want one I don't like the internet's getting uh it's turning it's taking a turn uh the way
like I saw this on TikTok there's a video someone saying that posting on Instagram is
kind of cringy now or it's like the Instagram stuff is kind of looking cringy and just like
stupid and pointless now and I kind of feel it like I think I don't know what's changing in the
but I'm hearing a lot of these high profile YouTubers. I think even like Logan and Jake
said this on their, um, on the latest impulsive episode that the internet's like boring now. And
then like just the way they talk about their past videos and how they are just kind of like
over that now, I feel like there's a shift happening and I don't quite know what's going
to happen next, but maybe I'm just growing up and I've had so many years of social media under my
belt that I'm just like, it's kind of like boring now. It's just like not, I just want to like not,
I don't, I want to be on my phone now is the least amount. Oh God, get, get the sentence
straight. I want to be on my phone now as little as possible. Okay. Oh, the person that everyone
hates calls a mandatory meeting at four 30 on Fridays. Yeah, of course. Um, let me go to the
next question. I'm going to do like a few more. What is the stupidest thing that ever came out
of your mouth? I don't know that I'm going to do a podcast. Um, stupidest thing that's ever
came out of my mouth oh when I misspelled alloy alloy at the spelling bee in like sixth grade
I only said a I said a l o y I didn't double the l that was the stupidest I've ever felt
because I was on stage I was I was at the microphone and I fucked up but also like
was when have I been on a stage and messed up my lines or like when I would do plays and stuff
Like, nothing makes you feel more – well, actually, I don't feel like I messed up that kind of – in those kind of scenarios that bad.
But, yeah, when you're on the spot doing a spelling bee word, it's probably the stupidest I've ever felt.
I mean, I'm still thinking about it.
I still remember it.
What is the most fucked up thing you've ever seen at a friend's house?
Wait a minute. I got to think about this.
Most fucked up thing I've ever seen at a friend's house.
I mean, I've never really had like crazy friends or like, I'm just,
I'm thinking of a, like something effed up would be a,
like a like a medicine cabinet full of drugs or like fucking meth or something i don't know
just like a little corner of the house that's got all the drugs i don't know something like
fucked up like that or um
i don't know why i'm thinking of this story one time this girl told me she had a roommate who
used to shit in uh jars and then or like ziploc bags or something and keep them in her closet and
she like hoarded her own shit and then she would eat it or something like that i don't know
i was never at that house this was a story i was told through someone else
about a roommate but if i was at that house that would be the most fucked up thing i've ever seen
but i don't have a story like that yeah there's something crazy going on there i can't really
remember the story fully but it was like she didn't she like enjoyed eating i don't know she
like hoarded her poop in her closet and they found, my friend found it one time or something
like that. I don't know. I can't think of, I can't think of an answer. Um, who's that
one celebrity that has like no haters? Oh, I feel like people talk about this all the
time. The Rock. People love The Rock. He's like the poster child of a champion man. Everybody
loves him. He's like, I don't know. Who else? Let me look here. Let's do another question.
What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?
What would a chair look like if we had back bending or backwards bending knees?
Whoa, wait.
Whoa.
You would basically like kneel, right?
Yeah, you just like kneel.
wait if you're standing forward if you're do this exercise if you're standing right now let's think
about this look at your feet put your feet hip width apart i'm like a yoga instructor
um and if your knees and then you can bend your knees right and they're going forward
and you sit down on a chair but if they went back
and you still want to face straight
holy shit they'd be like a v let me look at my elbow let me just put my elbow
on my knee and bend it that's my leg so it would be like a weird be like a 45 degree angle
wedge that you would like sit on yeah be a wedge
be a wedge on wheels because then your feet would just kind of like hang on the bottom
and your thighs would go forward
i don't like this question this is some mess this is messed up what's the what are the responses
what did someone say how can chairs be real if our eyes are not real
how many ducks would it take to kill a full-grown rhino
I don't know about that chair question
let me end the episode
let me call it a day
this has been
Q&A number 35
or should I do the random
should I do one deep question on the random question generator
let's do that
I feel like I need to round it out with a banger
random question gen
what's after gen Z
wait
what
Gen A
does it just circle back around
Generation Alpha
or Gen Alpha for short
is the demographic
cohort succeeding Generation Z
what
i guess it's alpha yeah gen alpha gen a interesting okay anyways random question
generator one time a pair went out my grandpa brought over a generator hooked us up some power
it's like a word I used to hear all the time as a kid grandpa's got a generator
um god my grandpa like always came to the rescue for everything
okay here we go
oh god cringe first question I don't want to answer it what are you most likely to become
famous for don't wanna um god I've changed so much literally in the last six months
like not that I quote-unquote wanted to be famous but I kind of had it in my brain that oh this
you grow on social media over time you become more well-known you could build a business around
your social media and yourself as a brand and like oh I have a podcast I could make it big
in podcasting and be on other popular podcasts and blah blah blah like I think I just that was
like a oh that's just how it works thing in my brain where now I'm like I don't want that for
myself, necessarily. Like, that's why I don't promote my show. That's why I don't really talk
about it or, like, flash it around right now. I just, like, don't care to grow it and, like,
be some known person in this world. Like, I don't know why, though. I feel like I'm just,
it doesn't entice me. There's nothing. I feel like it doesn't,
I don't see it as a like obviously there's benefits to
like working for yourself and you know like if the podcast was huge and
I could just do the podcast what I don't know like but I don't know I just
I think I'm just becoming more um
boring to be honest and I'm like exhausted of the internet and all the like it's just like
everyone is trying to make it and be somebody and I just don't like that energy I don't like
that desperate energy right now and I don't want to be a part of it I don't want to be a part of
that ladder climbing lifestyle that all of these young people my in my age group are doing all over
their social media like it just fucking doesn't do it for me it just doesn't and it's so palpable
too like you can tell when that's what someone's trying to accomplish and great good for do
whatever makes you happy do whatever but it literally all comes down to
random strangers on the internet liking your stuff following you hyping you up just liking
and following and making your account look bigger so that you look more relevant and cool and famous
and successful or whatever so that at that point you know and it could literally be for the dumbest
reason now and that's why I'm like well there's nothing exciting about fame now because you can
literally just like have a butt and show everyone your butt crack every day on Instagram and a
fucking bikini and then or like be a good TikTok dancer and then boom you're famous and you're like
getting interviewed on the Today Show you know what I mean like what the hell's happening it
just I don't want to be a part of it I don't like that I don't it's not for me um do you have
anything else to say about that like it's I don't know I like the idea of being like
also I love the idea of turning, not always turning your passions into, or your hobbies
into a business. Like you don't like, I can just podcast for the love of podcasting and call it a
day. I don't, I don't need to like, yeah, but who knows? I've changed in six. I mean, that's a
kind of a new thing for me just to really come to terms with but you know that could all obviously
change I could I don't know get reinvigorated in six months and then say I want to go to the
top charts I want to be the number one podcast well like I could go crazy I don't know
I'm not attached I'm not attached to outcomes I'm not attached I don't put myself on a timeline
with things I like things to flow however they're gonna flow and podcasting feels good
but podcasting with a goal to like make it to the top charts it's just like not exciting for me
it's not the goal but like that takes away from that I feel like that would take away from the
it would feel like a job or something not a passion and not like a
maybe if I was more competitive that would be the case maybe if I was more like
I just don't like beat everyone on the top charts I want to be better than them like if I was more
like that I'm just not like I'm not natural I'm competitive with myself like I'm very
personally competitive but I don't
don't, I don't know. I'm not a big, like, showy, like, I got to be better than you person on the
internet or whatever. Like, what the fuck? I don't care enough. I'm just, dude, am I ready to die?
She's just like, Jacqueline, like, you know what I mean? Like, what are you living for if you're
not going to try hard? I'm just so passive with this podcast. Let's do one more question.
let me find it I gotta like quick click through the random question generator
oh god this is deep what do you think your future self
will remember about you now oh my god I love this question
because my current self remembers my early 20s self as a
like like I'm thinking right now how I wish I could tell her the things I know now you know
what I mean so my future self what will your future self remember about you now I think it'll
be grateful for who I am now and I'll be like thank god you fucking got it together now like
oh my god I'm still rocking with the wisdom you figure like the tools you got and you know in
your mid twenties. I'm still like this. I'm just like rolling with it. Like you set me up for
success, Jacqueline. So like my 35 year old self would be like, God damn. Like I know I'm going to
have, I'm going to, you know, evolve from this and grow from this and everything. But, um, I think
my future self will remember me now as someone who never gave up, um, worked really hard on herself
and like tried tried her I don't know how to say this like what the fuck I mean like figured out
how to love herself for who she is that's it I think that's what I'll remember that's what this
middle chapter of my 20s has been all about I think everything before was just a facade like
I would try things out I would get all inspired by someone on social media like oh self-love and
like I'd repost a quote but I never really embodied it I never really became it and I feel
like now I'm just like it's obnoxious how much I like who I am and now I feel like that's what's
I think it's it's obvious when well I feel like it's so true how when you like yourself or whatever
and you're fully like you you're not living with all these insecurities and stupid
like things anymore people are more drawn to you people are more like you become a magnet
and you attract people that are similar and that are also at that same point in life and I just
think that that's how I'm just realizing it now it's definitely happening um but and it feels good
I feel like this is what life's all about and I just don't want to be 59 with the same stupid
monkey brain mindset I had when I was in my early 20s you know like I noticed that too though I feel
like there's a lot of people that go their whole life and nothing ever changes they never really
evolve and they never really learn. You know what it is? It's the difference between
like, I think here's what it is. I'm naturally, I'm a naturally curious person and I'm very
just naturally self-critical and I'm, I'm, I don't consider myself a perfectionist necessarily
anymore not to the level I used to be um but anyways I am naturally curious and I have high
standards for myself so I think what finally happened was I got so sick and tired of my bs
I got so sick and tired of like falling flat on my face time after time after time after time after
time after time and I was like Jacqueline figure it out I always say that I was just like I had a
moment, you know what I mean? And that wouldn't have happened unless I was curious about my
behavior. You have to be curious about your own behavior. You have to go, why does this pattern
keep happening? Like, why do I keep ending up in the same situation, the same types of
relationships, the same blah, blah, blah. Like, if you don't work on, like, go inward and ask
yourself those questions, then you might just, it might, it'll just be a pattern in your life
forever, most likely. So, you know, that was kind of a lot of my 2020 was doing that,
asking myself a lot of questions, squaring up with myself and all the past issues that kind
of resurfaced. And yeah, you got to like get real. It's all about like getting real with yourself.
you can't bullshit yourself you can't and I think when you feel like for the longest time I felt
kind of like an imposter or no what's the word a fraud like who I was internally versus outwardly
were two different people like I knew I had I had all this um like noise in my head that was
bad like just soul-sucking and draining and depressing and then I would put on a good show
and I would still be able to you know pull it together and show up to work with a smile on my
face and everything's good everyone just like knew me as like a I'm just like a I'm you know
I don't like to see but I don't this is the thing too I don't like people just I don't want people
to see me sweat I don't it's just like a survival thing it's a it's like a social hierarchy thing
like you don't I'm just like you gotta keep it together you know what I mean like it fucking
matters I'm not a train wreck and I don't like if I like I might go back to my apartment and be a
train and be a train wreck with myself but like out like in public I'm not gonna unload on people
and just like act messy and talk about messy stuff and like no it's just not who I am so but now
all the BS has been it's been talked out on the show especially and over the last year and I feel
like I've accelerated my personal growth and development and because of actually that yeah
talking to myself every day has really speeded up the process of finding myself and I'm super
comfortable in my skin and I'm not embarrassed by things like I used to be or insecure about
things I used to be and I just like yeah y'all is there can I sell a course around this is there a
course is there a coaching program about this I'm sure there is I did it myself though to be honest
I didn't really – yeah, there's all the podcasts that I've listened to over time that kind of influenced me and some books.
But I listened to myself.
I finally stopped distracting myself with the fluffy words of all the gurus and all that stuff.
And I finally said, Jacqueline, what works for you?
Go inward.
Do what works for you.
You know what you need to do.
and I, yeah, I listened to her, and now here I am, amen, all right, Q&A number 35
is over, so deep, I got, like, it was, like, fun in the beginning, and then I got deep at the end,
but you know what, that's what a Q&A usually brings out in me, I just go all over, but
hope you enjoyed that, you know, and I say a lot of stuff on here that's kind of vulnerable or
whatever but um because it's trendy to do that on the internet now and I gotta stay up on the
trends it's all about sharing your story and being vulnerable and being super emotionally
available for people on the internet that you don't know that's what life is all about now
so but I can imagine like if you're listening to my show you probably I'm just guessing relate
to me in some way so I hope some of that was helpful for you and maybe therapeutic to hear
me say it so you know you're not alone and we're all in this together we're all in this life
together I just want to give everyone a big hug I just want to like have a little get together
with everyone like I don't know what I'm saying should I go on a tour should I tour around the
country I would love like I was thinking about this I'm I feel like I'm naturally kind of a
I used to perform on a stage you know what I mean I like I used to be in front of a ton of people
and I've been on camera a lot and I feel like I'm naturally just like and I here's the thing
I could totally see myself
and this isn't like a oh I want to do this like next year thing or like I want to do this right
now thing but I'm so at the point where I could get in front of a crowd and literally just let
it all hang loose and not have any like inhibitions and just be like free like I don't think I would
be shy or like nervous or like the way I used to be if I got in front of people and had to do a
speech or something like I think I would just bring this energy I could totally podcast in
front of people like if I had an audience I'd be sick just for like fun you know what I mean just
for like hey let's put a face to the name and like meet her in person you could do a meet and
greet after and like I could sign autographs no see that's the dream for so many people though
it's like I want to grow my podcast I want to tour I want to have a patreon
grow my patreon and quit my day job and be a podcast host it's gonna be interesting to see
who sticks around because it's kind of a bubble right it's kind of like a
I don't know everyone's doing it type of thing so I wonder what the future holds for a podcast
I mean what are the numbers it's like 1.3 million podcasts versus like 80 million YouTube channels
or something like that like it's not as big as you think or what it seems like right now it's
because it seems like everyone has a podcast, but I'm just a low-key person on the internet.
He doesn't really talk about her show, and I do, I happen to have a podcast every day,
and I like, I want to keep it that way. I just, for now, you know, we'll see what happens, but
I've got a UPS driver outside. What's happening? I gotta put my blinds down.
i feel like i definitely have one of those windows where
it like where i'm sitting feels like
people would be able to see me really clearly like you could totally like
see everything right now but when i walk by houses like mine or in buildings like
the windows like high up like you don't really look in you don't really like see anything
you know and I got a I got a little uh tree next to me I got a little palm tree thing
it's kind of covering a little bit of the window I mean why do I care because I always close my
blinds I'm like no one's no one's even looking inside no one's like actively turning their head
looking inside unless it's uh unless it's it's dark out because that's when you really can see
what's inside. But anyways, hit that subscribe button if you haven't already. Follow me on
Instagram at Jacqueline Rowe. Actually, I don't care. Like, you know what? Oh, God.
Is like Instagram going to be a thing in 10 years, in five years?
what phase is how what is the next thing I feel like I can't quite put my finger on it but I
think there's going to be a great migration off of social media I'm calling it now you know how
people call stuff and then like 10 years later they were right I'm calling it now there's going
to be a migration off of the internet off of social media that's a bold statement it's hard
to believe but I'm Jacqueline you know what that is Jacqueline you know what that is it's millennials
getting older and settling down and therefore they will no longer give a shit about posting
on Instagram they're gonna be like busy with their kids and soccer practice like
because that to me okay that's what I'm I'm kind of thinking about right now about myself like
oh like I'm not gonna be a like a mommy on Instagram type person you know what I mean
like I'm not gonna like be a Instagram mommy influencer if I ever have a kid but I can just
see how in the recent years of me of mine my life i've just stopped really i've just like
given less of a shit and i think that's why people would get off of it they're just like
social media been there done that so but we'll see maybe it'll be the young people too maybe
all these like woke ass Gen Z or Gen Alphas are gonna it won't be like cool you know what I mean
it won't be like the place to hang so all we do now is hang on our phones it's so bad for us like
how did we it's not good you know how they're the pendulum always swings back or whatever I feel
like that's what's gonna happen there's gonna be some sort of correction where our screen time and
our phone usage will go down potentially like is I feel like we're are we maxed out is this the
maximum point of is the point of this is the pinnacle of social media like addiction or like
phone use I don't know or does it get worse or do we just get does it just get worse to the point
where we are plugged in all day long even in our sleep for some reason like i mean i'm wearing an
apple watch and when i sleep i'm it's like tracking my i'm like always plugged into something at this
point which i don't know if it's good for me the radiation the emf radiation is that what it's
called i don't know what do you guys think's gonna happen
war fucking war there's something going on in china apparently um they don't like what biden
said about them us investigating china about covid and how it started there i don't think
they were pretty excited about that and uh i think there was a threat or something that
obviously the news isn't talking about but that's kind of scary
maybe we're gonna enter the third war third world war
what if our apps could turn or not our apps our phones could turn into weapons like
i don't know what's that someone said like what if our phones just like turned into a robot
and just started like fucking us up in our like it'd be next to your bed charging while you sleep
and all of a sudden it grows legs and arms and it has like a tiny pistol and it fucking takes
you out and then there's this like mass takeover of the iPhones and is that a movie dude let's
write it who wants to write that with me I feel like someone already said I feel like that was
a concept or an idea I heard somewhere else though typical me not giving credit to the owner
stealing people's shit kidding I mean do I do that though not really a lot I'd say like
if I notice myself saying something I'm like oh I feel like I heard that somewhere else I always say
something like that I don't take credit um I used to like read tweets though and get re-inspired to
write my own and assume like I would I like I learned what was funny from Twitter so yeah I
don't think I've talked about Twitter in a while because I deleted mine or it's like disabled but
that was like that was my high school phase like I got Twitter in 2009 and I followed this guy from
Ohio this like writer comedian dude who had a private list that I subscribed to I was like the
only one that subscribed to it where a ton of funny people wrote tweets and it was all curated
or whatever so my favorite thing to do was to read their tweets and their one-liners because
you could only write in a hundred and was it 114 characters at the time yeah and I would laugh my
ass off I think there was this guy named Donnie D-O-N-N-I had super random funny tweets but
because like internet speak is different than obviously real life speak and like there's a way
of writing like the internet's so funny and I like how we're at this place with memes and meme
culture where it's used across like it's like used in the corporate world like there's like
there are ads now with the word lit on them and like shit like like young people phrases and meme
phrases and it's crazy I like how it feels like we're all on the same page like that
It took a while, but now it's like everywhere.
I'm literally just like, I think I have a razor bump on my knee that kind of hurts.
Is that infected?
Like a bump.
Is that a tick?
What if I just got Lyme disease right here right now?
Jesus.
I learned about Lyme disease the other day and I'm terrified about getting a tick now.
because I walk Jimmy in tall grass all the time and that's how easy like you literally just like
get a tick and then it burrows into you and you don't know it's there and then boom Lyme disease
you're fucked so anyways that's it I gotta cut myself off have a great day hit that subscribe
button and I will talk to you tomorrow okay bye