The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 292- Why I Was Gone For A Month

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? Happy August. It's episode 293. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show hi Hey, hi. It's been a month. I haven't recorded a podcast in a month. I took all of July off. Cheers. I'm going to give you guys a little recap today. That's a Diet Coke, by the way. I didn't have a LaCroix. I've got a Diet Coke and water in front of me right now. um I'm gonna do a little recap about what I've been up to over the last month because a lot is

going on in my life and I'm gonna walk you through it I feel like I need to explain myself first um as you know if you're a regular listener and if you're not hi welcome back to the show it's Jacqueline this is my I don't know it used to be my audio diary where I'd get on the microphone on every day and talk about my life, talk about what's going on every single day of the week. I literally did a podcast two, so 292 days in a row. And back in, the reason for that was back in September, 2020, I set a goal for myself to do a podcast every day for a year. And this is where I have to explain myself and it's kind of embarrassing, but here we go. Um, so basically why do I feel obnoxious honestly I kind of feel rusty I I don't want to be obnoxious and annoying

I feel like I'm being annoying um basically so June 30th was my last episode which was a month ago um it was getting it was getting sad like I was recording 10 minute episodes I was recording nonsense and it was it was not fun anymore it was just I was basically putting out a podcast every day for the sake of putting out a podcast every day and that the content was like sucking I just it lost its luster I it lost its charm I wasn't really enjoying myself anymore pretty much all of June honestly all of it's it was a shit I'd say after episode 200 shit went south so I took a month off um and I'm back and I'm gonna record every Sunday you're gonna get one episode a week and that's what it is. Okay. Um, but I have a whole list here. Let me cut to the chase

of things that have happened since I last spoke with you guys. Um, damn, this Diet Coke is actually good. Hold on. I don't have any sparkling waters, but my mom came and visited me a couple of weeks ago and stocked my fridge with Diet Coke and that's like all I have. So that's what I'm doing tonight. Basically, the list has 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 things on it that I need to tell you. So step one. So I wrote, I'm using my laptop now instead of a notebook to write podcast notes on, which I feel like I should have done. I should have done that from the start. I used to write in a like a journal but it seems like I don't know this makes more sense I can copy and paste shit easier too from like the news and things that are going on the world it'd be

easier to like keep track of things um things that have happened I wrote things that have happened okay I do this almost every episode and I feel I feel like doing it right now but I'm not going to I'm going to stay strong uh I feel annoying step one I feel why do I keep saying step step one step to I feel annoying and I feel like I want to restart and delete this episode so I'm not going to do it but that's how I feel right now and it's rough like I'm judging this performance already and I'm only what like two minutes in I don't even know I'm on my laptop reading a list of things here and I wrote things that have happened since the last episode June 30th 2021 So the first thing is that, not to be dramatic, I'm currently wearing a thumb brace.

So I have Quervin's syndrome or whatever, Dr. Quervin's syndrome in my thumb. and I'm wearing a thumb brace it actually just got delivered today but last so March of this year Jimmy tugged my golden retriever puppy tugged on the the leash really hard and it like ripped my thumb away from my wrist and ever since then it's been really painful to like move my thumb but I haven't done anything about it so I'm currently wearing a wrist brace because I've got a um here let me take it off um it's kind of annoying to podcast with this thing on I'm trying to fix it so I have to wear this for two weeks straight can't really move my thumb around um so that's the current that's the first thing to get off um or to check off the list here yeah Dr. Quervin

syndrome it's like a tendon problem let me look it up Dr. Quervin's syndrome is it even a doctor syndrome. I self-diagnosed myself off of the internet. Dequervain's tenosynophatitis. Fuck this. A painful condition affecting the tendons on the thumb side of the wrist. Repetitive hand or wrist movements can make the condition worse. I'm right-handed. I'm using my thumb all the time in it this is probably the most annoying brace to have because like you can't use your thumb and you use your thumb for everything so anyways the main symptoms are pain and tenderness in the wrist often below the base of the thumb blah blah blah so it's called let me try this again de quervain's tenosinophite fuck okay okay teno sin ove itis itis tenos

sinophitis tenosophite fuck okay you know what someone dm me how to pronounce that give me the like spell it out how you say it or whatever that'd be helpful um see i'm currently wearing a thumb brace and I guess the irony of that or like the funny thing I was thinking about now that I'm wearing a thumb brace is how I joked about selling merch in the future for my podcast like I I was a big talker like if you listen to the beginning of my podcast back in like September October October last year I talked a big fucking game about like going to the big leagues being a world-renowned podcast host being the future female Howard Stern like blah blah I just like I went there and I was talking I was talking about merch like day one and I said I'm gonna do

I'm gonna sell thumb braces because of our social media addiction and eventually I feel like everyone's gonna need a little thumb brace to help their thumbs out because we're all gonna be like I don't know what's it called like um carpal tunneled out and our thumbs aren't gonna work so I thought it'd be funny to sell merch merch in the future I was gonna do thumb braces and uh phone hammocks little hammocks you put your phone in when you don't want to be on your phone it's like a symbolic thing you set your phone in the hammock you put it to sleep and it symbolizes that you're not gonna spend time on your phone for that moment so or that you know for like an hour or whatever I thought that I thought that would be cute so thumb braces

and phone hammocks were my merch ideas and now I'm wearing a fucking thumb brace because of it's I think it's a combination of a lot of things but I definitely think it's from when he pulled when Jimmy pulled on my on the leash really hard and it like popped yeah so that's the first thing let me I'm gonna highlight these things black so I don't say them again I like uh this new method yeah uh instead of writing on my on a notebook second thing I feel like did I explain myself why I didn't podcast for a month well enough yeah it just became it was kind of like it like I said I was podcasting every day for the sake of podcasting every day and I I just felt like I needed to take a break I needed to take a month off

to reset and come back once a week and yeah okay so anyways um I'm brunette a bitch is brunette barbie's gone never if you're listening right now send me a dm to never go blonde again please never no no okay never let me go blonde again please everyone out there yell at me in the dms leave a review on the podcast app and say Jacqueline looks like shit as a blonde she should never go blonde again I mean I'm being dramatic but like I don't know like one now that I'm a brunette I'm a natural brunette now that I'm back to that I'm like duh like you should just be this all the time the blonde was a phase I feel like when I look at the blonde phase of my life I was finding myself I was working on my mental health my I was working on my happiness I was

working on all kinds of stuff and um I feel like I've done that I've been there done that I'm sick and tired of talking about working on myself working on my mental it's like it's been done I know how to make myself happy without uh outside influence and other people and activities and excursions and things to fluff up my life like I know how to I know how to be happy just me alone by myself and that was my biggest accomplishment of 2020 I've been there done that I was blonde while I did it and to be honest it was getting it's first of all it's expensive as fuck to keep your hair blonde if you're not blonde like every time I go to the salon it's I don't know anywhere from 200 to 400 I mean the first time I got my hair done it was mom close yours 900 fucking

dollars to go blonde in one day so it's like an expensive thing to keep up and then my hair was just never health super healthy and like it didn't look how I wanted it anyways um so yeah I went back to brunette and that's my next update so we're two down what 12 to go 11 to go I don't know how are you guys doing what's how's your uh summer going how's your summer going oh my god it's like fucking aug it was just first of all it was just christmas how's it august like or it was just march or like it's just march 2020 no i just feel like yeah the year has totally flown by and how's your summer let me know can i people watch right now let me open my window

no it's kind of hot and bright i guess because i'm talking about the heat oh fuck I'm blinding myself I'm in my kitchen at my um desk by the way um speaking of the heat I got an AC bitches I got an air conditioner in my apartment a year ago I think I talked about air conditioning or trying to get an air conditioner last September when I first started the show and I think I told a lot of stories about how I didn't like I thought I had AC in my apartment and I was looking for the button on or the button where you turned it on and I could never find it and then when I finally found the button it was for the heater and then I found out that I don't have air conditioning in this apartment so anyways a year later almost a

year later I bought an LG let me tell you which one it is I spent like a week and a half reading reviews you know as you do on Amazon orders fuck prove you're not a robot okay hold on continue shopping I just want to say the name of the unit I got okay fuck this it's like it's not working the LG I gotta remember that I don't I don't need to be in a rush when I record you know I feel like I'm I'm stalling and you guys are like Jacqueline hurry up but you're really not you're just listening to me we're on a phone call what I always used to say that I'm like this is just a phone call like I'm just calling you every day I'm just talking about my life and you're tuning in orders search lg

oh fuck i did it wrong wrong search bar l g lg portable air conditioner um with 7 000 btu cooling capacity remote control and two fan speeds in white it's cute um but yeah i got an air conditioner now and to be honest it's not what i thought it was i thought I was going to cool my entire apartment quickly and efficiently and I feel like it it cools a six foot radius around it like I like I mean okay if I leave it on for like a good hour or two I feel like it cools the apartment down but it's not what I thought and it's whatever it's better than not having one but anyways I have an air conditioner and that's the next update

back to the list. Um, I turned a year older, my birthday's on July 7th and we got a highlight. Where's the air conditioner. I actually wrote that as a bullet point, air conditioner checked off. Um, I turned a year older on July 7th. I'm 13 and it feels great to be a teenager. Finally. oh my god i've been waiting my whole life for this i feel so mature now no i first of all if you haven't listened to me talk about this before this is how i feel about 2020 and covid and that whole shit show we were robbed if you're a millennial if you're a gen z if you're a young person in your 20s we were robbed of one of our hottest years of our lives and because of that I refuse to I am I am

the same age this year as that I was last year and I am at the age where I don't like to say my why am I like this I'm fuck should I just review I think I used to just talk about my age like wasn't a big deal why do I feel like it's a big deal now let's just say I'm closer to 20 no I'm closer to 30 than I am 25. Wait, no, I'm an equal distance between 25. No, I'm closer to 25 than I am 30. Wait, I got to like think about this. 30, 25. I'm somewhere between 25 and 30 let's just say that but yeah we were robbed we were robbed so I just mentally I'm the same age that I was in 2020 and I didn't do shit for my birthday I don't celebrate I don't I don't like I'm not a birthday person I think other people hype my birthday up more than I do which

is cool but I don't like I don't know why I don't I don't like making a big deal about my birthday and being the center of attention which is odd because as you know there is something inside of me that needs to be seen and heard on the internet and I don't know what that is I can't pinpoint it but here I am podcasting okay we did that for 292 days in a row we shoved my life down people's throats because I have a need to be seen and heard by the internet and I feel safe and comfortable talking to strangers like I don't know what that is I'm one of those people I think some people are called to do it I'm that kind of person and I don't know why but when it comes to my birthday I don't want anyone I don't need a party I don't want like I'll go out to dinner I'll do that um

I'll pop some champagne whatever but I don't need to like go hard in Vegas for the weekend with you know like a big fucking sparkler going off in a club with like a big birthday sign no it's not me but yeah since I last talked to you guys I had a birthday um cross that off uh I guess the McGregor fight happened I didn't watch it but I heard about it I saw his like foot get or his ankle break so that happened the Olympics are going on right now I'm not paying close attention I watched a little bit but that's currently happening I guess that's like not a thing I don't know whatever I wrote it on the list um I got a new computer that's a new update I got a desktop so I I've been working so I have a job like I think one of the reasons I also took a

month off is I went hard with work and I like or how do I say this I focused a lot on my job And I know that's, I'm not trying to make excuses and I'm not trying to be a cop out about podcasting every day, but I feel like that was such a rough thing, rough combination this spring, trying to do a podcast every day and do my job, which takes a lot of my time up. So, um, anyways, I got a new computer for work, which is cool. Um, I've been working on a laptop, like a hunchback for the last year I've been with this company. And it's, it's like, I had fresh eyes tell me like, Hey, Jacqueline, you're not, you could be working so much more efficiently if you had a desktop, if you had like an actual monitor. And so I took that advice and I got a new computer and it feels great. And there's another update. Today's all about like, I'm just updating you. Honestly, I was going to come up with like seven segments, segments,

seven, seven different segments. Um, I was going to add some like transition music, do like little do-do-do, you know, now we're going to do the weather and now we're going to do the news. And now we're, you know, I was going to do something like that today, but honestly, I feel like I owe you guys an update so I just wrote down a list and that's what we're doing so new computer new AC I got it I got my windshield fixed bitches if you know me if you know me from guys this is such an embarrassing thing to admit like I had a cracked windshield for like a good two years and I didn't do shit about it and I just like looked at a crack every day and it was literally in my line of sight as a driver it was like in it was like straight in front of my eyes

and I finally got it fixed and it was it wasn't even a money thing it was just like I didn't I think what it is is I don't I get dissented desensitized or I get used to stuff in my environment where I don't notice it and then one day I'm like Jacqueline oh my god get this shit fixed and it was like a $200 like when this guy like showed up it was a like I think I paid him on Venmo like he showed up fixed my windshield for like I don't know 45 minutes I paid him and he left and it was just boom done and I was like why didn't I do this two years ago so yeah if you know me if you know my car if you've sat in my car with a crack windshield that's fixed uh there you go um I guess I'll update so yeah this last one when did they visit like two weeks ago my mom and

sister visited me and they like coming here. They like going to the beach. Obviously my family's in Washington, so they're usually in rain and you know, whatever. So they like to come down here and have a little beach vacay with me. So they visited me and it was fun. We went to the beach every day. Um, my mom had this grandiose idea or whatever to take me. Cause at first my sister wasn't here so my mom visited and she wanted to take me to like Palm Springs she's like we're gonna do a little road trip we're gonna stay in a hotel up there and like blah blah and it's hot as shit it's like 200 degrees in Palm Springs right now so we decided not to go obviously have Jimmy and that would not be healthy for him to have to deal with that heat so

we decided to stay here and this was on like a Thursday and all my mom did from the time we woke up I think we went grocery shopping too yeah she like we went to get groceries she always stocks up my it's it's like it's what I love about my mom like no matter what no matter how old I am she's always trying to like take care of me right so she stocked like if you open my cupboard it looks like a grocery store like it's so full of so many things like and it's it I don't backstock stuff I buy groceries for the week or whatever and that's all I use I don't have filler and so I have all these like cool like curry sauces and cans of like garbanzo beans and like cool pasta shapes now and like I don't know random stuff like olives

sauces like I don't know so I have all this extra stuff to cook with now which is kind of cool But yeah, we did that. And the whole day, this is what I'm trying to tell you. The entire Thursday she was here. She deep cleaned my apartment as if I'm moving out. Like she had my oven pulled out and she was cleaning behind it. She found a rat's nest or she said she found a mouse nest behind my fridge. I don't know what that was about. she found some like uh dangerous electrical cord uh and she fixed that but yeah she was like behind my fridge behind my stove she cleaned all of my shutters or my blinds which i live so i live in a city and there's a lot of airport gunk that collects on my blinds and so she like bleached the fuck out of them it took her like honestly it took her two days to do the blinds which i'm I'm so thankful for it because I've been looking at my blinds lately and I'm like this is disgusting but I don't and then you like you have to like scrub it off it doesn't just wipe off or like

swiffer off you have to soak them and like scrub each blind and so she did all of them and she was clean oh my god she cleaned my windows she was outside like out she like went she like stood on a stool in a bush to clean my windows like the window i'm looking out right now she had to like stand up on a stool and stand in i don't even know like some prickly bush to get to the the window and yeah so that's it that's what she did um and then pretty much the rest of the weekend we chilled at the beach we drank so many fucking truly what are those the lemonades jimmy's here he wants to play with his bunny we name all of his toys the name of the animal so

this is bunny. We have piggy, bunny, ducky, llama, Mr. Squibbles, which is his first toy, but it's kind of destroyed now. Um, he has an ice cream, a new ice cream cone since we last spoke and a gnome, um, and a teddy bear. But anyways, um, he's actually not bothering me that usually when I podcast, he's jumping everywhere and it's really annoying, but he's actually being pretty good right now. So yeah, we chilled at the beach. We drank so many, what was it? Those truly lemonades. I just like lay there and got lit and fucking got her tan on. And I have a leg rash from hell. Like, I don't even know what happened. My shin looks like I have a, it looks like I was burned in a fire. Like it's really bad. And I currently have a spray tan on over it and it's

flaking off and it looks, it's almost like a scar and it's, it turned purple. Like my skin turned dark purple like a bruise guys I'm gonna get skin cancer I I shouldn't joke I'm not even joking I know like I I know I'm gonna have to get get some skin cut off me at some point in my future like the amount of terrible burns I've had in my life like I used to tan so I used to be a tanning bed chick in the beginning of college I'd like lay in a tanning bed and I remember that when I first got into it I would go in for like the maximum time every single time like from the jump I think I did I would I started at like 10 minutes but I remember I was working my uh retail job in college one day and I had I had like a my navy sweater on I used to work a coach and sell

handbags but I remember like I peeled off because my boobs I so think about this whenever I would lay out and tan up until that point I was wearing a bikini I was wearing something right but when I was in the tanning beds for the first time I was completely naked like that's what you do and my boobs were for the first time in their life exposed to rays just heat what is it called light I don't know cancer skin cancer fuck what is it called like the uv tanning bed lights and so all I remember is I had my little um navy sweater on at work and my chest like if you look down was like bubble like the skin was like bubbly and it was the thickness it was like I went into the bathroom on my break and I literally peeled

from like my tits to my collarbone I peeled like a wax paper thickness sheet of skin off of my chest because it burns so bad. And anyways, um, I need to get back to the list. What was I just talking about? Oh, the beach weekend. My sister shipped a boogie board to my apartment. The super nice boogie board. Cause she likes water. What's it called? Body surfing no boogie board boogie board fuck hold on she like bought flippers a boogie board all this nice shit to uh use for like a day or two while she was visiting but she would be out there in the water doing that thing and my mom and i'd be on the beach tanning and talking to people and i was feeding the seagulls uh what was i feeding them pringles what kind of chips do we have

not Pringles salt and vinegar chips I was hand feeding the seagulls people don't like that people don't people don't like when you feed the seagulls you're not supposed to but it's fun you know what they're seagulls are they're fun I don't know so that's what I did and then these nice people noticed that we were drinking the same trulies that they were and they didn't want to pack them back to their car or whatever they were like we had they had too many and they just came over and dumped off like a whole pack of them for us and I don't know I don't really guys I've been drinking a lot of alcohol lately and there's another another reason for that that I'm gonna tap dance and tiptoe around I'm not gonna be I'm gonna be vague about

but um did I just say that twice but it's kind of nice like I like getting my little buzz on at the beach and like it's fun I know is that illegal first of all I don't think you're I don't think it's legal but I did it and I enjoy myself and there's something to it like laying on the beach having a little drink like fuck yeah and so I feel like I've been having a great summer because I've been enjoying the sunshine the beach family time a little alcohol you know what I mean doesn't hurt um so yeah what else did we do we went out to a fancy Italian dinner um down in little Italy which was good. Um, I don't know. I just love my family. I love when they visit me. I'm actually going back. I have trips planned. Actually, I need to cross this off and then mention my

upcoming trips. Um, yeah, I'm going back to Washington, uh, Labor Day weekend. So I guess I should and I have well guys let me just like pepper this in and then pepper it out and just like I'm gonna sprinkle this in sprinkle it how do I say this um I met someone special okay there's another update I met a special someone um who likes ice cream as much as I do um and that's going on and I'm gonna move on so I'm just gonna add that um but let's just say uh we're already we're already planning trips bitches we're already planning trips and that's uh I guess a good sign I don't know I feel awkward talking about this I'm not gonna say anything else I really I think I mentioned this I've always said this I like to

I don't know I like to keep things um to myself like my personal life private and I'm gonna keep it that way but um I don't know I feel like I'm in a good place in that department of my life in that area of my life and it feels good so and I'll just tell you what our show is because of course we're watching a show together I've got a new recommendation if you're looking for a new show to watch um we're watching billions on showtime we're watching billions it's about a hedge fund manager who's getting sued by the attorney general kind of something like that I don't really get the honestly I'm I watch the show the same way that I read books like I'm watching the show it's like you're on the page of a book you get to the bottom you're like what did

I just read I'm like seeing the actors talking and and I'm seeing the scenes change and I'm seeing the episodes go on but I'm kind of I'm half-assing my attention to it like I'm just kind of I don't know I feel like I whatever so that's the current show we're watching I'm also at a point again in this episode where I'm like Jacqueline start over redo it whatever crossing that off so yeah billion billions on showtime I'm watching it on what is called prime tv amazon prime tv I didn't even know I had it I'm like wait a minute I have this I guess guys I also have I won't say it never mind I think I'm doing something illegal with my tv watching well it's not illegal it's actually YouTube's fault I have a YouTube tv subscription

that i've been trying to cancel since october 30th 2020 and i keep getting charged i've contacted every i've done everything like you know you everyone's y'all have been there you're trying to get a subscription canceled you're emailing you're logging into like every you're using every password possible you're recovering your password you're trying every email you're on the phone you're on hold you're like i was i was with google on the phone i was like a youtube person like i've tried everything but i keep getting charged so i'm like okay um there's a little option on my bank account to what's it called like like uh request a refund or whatever on this purchase because it's suspicious activity or i've attempted to cancel the subscription i

keep getting charged. So, um, have I been watching YouTube or the Olympics on YouTube TV in the month of July, even though I canceled it and I get a re and I got a refund this month? Yes, absolutely. Cause for whatever fucking reason, even when I can't, even when I get the refund, I can still watch it on my TV and the app still works. And honestly, I know I'm going to, I know I'm knowing, I know I'm going to prison, but someone out there help me. How do I get this canceled for good because it's $64.99 a month and I don't use it at all and I feel like it's a waste of money for me so um because I don't want I don't watch tv I really I watch like shows and I watch youtube so the olympics is nice it's nice that I have it for the olympics and the only reason I

got it initially was for not to be a bro right now but for uh football season I like watching obviously the Seahawks. I like watching the games live. So I got YouTube TV for that. And after the season ended, I canceled it. And then I keep getting charged. And now we're guys, I have, I'm not a good at, I'm hard on myself about this, but I feel like I need to be, I need, I need my handheld a lot as an adult with stuff. And I feel like stupid sometimes, like I'm not good at being an adult. I'm not good at being on top of my ship on top of my subscriptions at knowing how to cancel things correctly and contact the right people and blah, blah, blah. I'm just like, it never ends. So

what was I saying? Oh, billions on Amazon prime TV. I didn't know I had it. That's what I was saying. Shit. Um, how many more things do I have? Then I'm going to wrap this up. oh i'll do a jimmy update i think this is the last thing oh i guess i have trips planned i this is sort of what i mentioned earlier i guess i'll knock this off yeah i'm going home for labor day excuse me it's the diet coke i'm uh full of carbonation right now um yeah i'm going home labor day weekend uh, I'm going to be doing some outdoor activities, uh, while I'm in Washington and also at the end of September and also at the end of August. So that's my new, uh, it's going to be a new

thing for me, but I'm excited about it. And I used to hike and be outdoorsy all the time when I was younger and I miss it. And so it's exciting that I'm going to get back into it. And yeah, so outdoor trips planned, outdoor activities, what do you call it? Hiking trips are in the, in the pipeline for me. Um, Jimmy update to finish the episode here. Actually, I could keep rambling. I'm, I think I'm going to do a little like reflection after this last bullet point here. I know I'm going to ramble on for like another 15, but the last thing I got to update you guys on is Jimmy is getting castrated on August 10th. His balls are turning him into, he just perked up. Um, he's humping, he's humping. Okay. And it's time he's nine months

old. I was told to get him. I'm using the technical term castrated fixed. Sorry. I was told to get him fixed at a year and then recently I ran into someone at the dog park who's recommended to get them done now just like get it done now and um so that's happening but he's humping he's humping pillows he's humping me he's humping the ottoman he's humping his basket he's humping all of his toys like he'll he sideways humps like he'll have his piggy his little pink piggy his favorite toy right now he'll have it like in his crotch like he'll lay on the ground and then the piggies in his crotch and he's just pumping it it's a lot and i and i i grew up with golden retriever boy like boy golden retrievers i don't remember any of this i feel like i notice everything

now because i'm with jimmy 24 7 but like it's it's i i feel like he's gonna keep doing this when he gets his balls cut off, but, and I know this is a sensitive topic, I know a lot of people don't like to hear about dogs getting castrated, but I'm not trying to breed him, and, like, I'm not, you know what I mean, like, it's just, it's what you do, so another update, so this is, so I wanted to mention that he's going through surgery in August, he'll have a cone on his head for 10 days, which is going to be funny to take pictures of, not funny, honestly, it's going to suck for him but I'm gonna have a few laughs I know I am um so he's got surgery coming up what else oh he learned or he understood two commands for the first time I said them without me training

him at all so I told him so the first command he understood right off the bat was off off Seth, um, he was on the couch being obnoxious, probably humping a pillow. Like he, he does this thing where he like digs at the pillow and, and humps it at the same time. It's like this motion and I was getting annoyed. I was like, this needs to stop. So I said off in a firm tone and he jumped off and this is, it was like, he looked at me and stopped and then jumped, like he understood what it meant. And then, you know, if he's on my bed and I say that he jumps off if he's on any furniture it's usually the couch when he's laying with me he he got it the first time so that's the first command and the other command was when I was doing yoga

in the other room he was in there with me and right before I was or right when I was about to start I said out O-U-T I don't know why I'm spelling these I said O-U-T he left the room and now if he's in your space not only not only does he understand to leave the room if he's in your space being annoying and you say that he'll go to the corner he'll go and he'll get out of the way he'll go to the opposite end of the room it's like amazing and so I think as he gets older the commands or whatever are going to just be easier for him to get or like he'll understand them quicker than he did when he was a little baby but it's amazing like I say this every time I talk about Jimmy on the podcast like every month I've been watching a level in his body unlock

or like something he'll like something will shift or change or happen that's new and I remember like month two all of a sudden he figured out that it's comfortable to lay on his back and so like for the entire second month I had him he just laid on his back all the time which was like weird for me to see because he never used to do that and so you know now it's like I guess those commands and okay the humping is not a good thing though but like that's kind of new um he's just the best and we're dog park regulars we're dog park regulars now um there's a big community park where I live where it's like a huge fenced in place where he can run free and it's my favorite thing to do I know this is like okay I think everyone out there listening likes

dogs I'm just gonna assume you like dogs I'm assuming first of all if you're listening to the show you relate to me in some way or we like the same things or whatever you want to whatever so I know I talk a lot about my dog, but it's, it's my life right now. I got a puppy this year and it's fun to talk about, but, um, the dog park is, okay. Hey, Jim, Jim. It's okay, bud. I don't want to stop him from being, from being a guard dog. I want him to bark so that if someone's going to come in and murder me, like he's going to alert me. so it's kind of hard because when you have neighbors and he barks at them it's like oh that's annoying and it's like he you like don't want him to do it but at the same time if you

if you nip that in the ass and he stops barking then he's not gonna be able to alert me when he needs to someday so but the dog park is so fun like you walk in there and all the dogs come up to him and they're all like I don't know it's just like a squad of dogs every time that circles him sniffs him and then they all play together and um it's so cute and I just feel like I don't know I think I waited a little bit too long to start taking him there because he was not very confident with the like the big dogs and the other dogs at first when he was littler but now he's kind of like I feel like he's the big man on campus out there and he's like he's everyone's favorite and he's the cutest dog there so he gets he gets he's got what is it

called white privilege no fucking what is it fucking called what's the equivalent of white privilege to a dog he's got a pretty pretty privilege you got pretty privilege that's something i learned on tiktok there's like tiktok videos about like the treatment you get in life when you're a pretty person or like how to know if you're pretty or hot like stupid ass videos like that are all over TikTok but I feel like for dogs it's like he's hot you're a hot dog Jimmy are you hot or are you pretty you're handsome you're you know what it is he's happy and charming in the face and he wants to be friends with everyone and he's a he's a ball of sunshine and he's a giant love ball and it's irresistible if you're another dog in that park

you don't want to fight with him you don't want to you don't want to you know give him shit you just want to be his friend and so I feel like everyone gravitates to Jimmy it's fun to see and so yeah that's the last update on the list here Jimmy's commands he got on his own out and off and then we're regulars at the dog park so in conclusion I'm doing a podcast once a week every Sunday from now on um I miss it honestly I feel like Jim we're not gonna do that right now bud come on come on bud give me like 10 more minutes yeah we're actually gonna go to the dog park after this I gotta be honest like I've been missing this a lot I think it became so podcasting daily became part of my not to be boring and annoying and redundant

but like it became part of my mental health daily mental health like practice or whatever you want to call it and I discovered in those almost 300 days in a row of podcasting that listening to my self speak out my thoughts and like literally listening to listening to my soul or what getting my what do you want to I don't know how I used to phrase it what did I say it's like listening to your soul speak when you're speaking your mind you're you know getting it out in words every day versus like journaling or keeping your thoughts in your head it's super I discovered that it's super therapeutic and it's it I'm it accelerated the fuck out of my I guess self-improvement mental health happiness confidence like especially

confidence like I feel like I've never been as uh content with who I am and confident in my skin and genuinely happy and gung-ho about life, then I've, I've never been like this, and I attribute that to podcasting every day, and so, yeah, I've been missing it, and I, and I, I gotta be realistic now, and that's why I'm doing it once a week, and I mentioned that, I did say, like, during the springtime, I said, look, when I hit the year 365, when I hit the, the one-year anniversary on September 4th 2021 I haven't made it there yet and I and I failed and I'll admit like well it's not really a yeah I mean my I didn't accomplish my goal of doing a podcast every single day for a year and to me that's I'm not being like hard on myself about it I'm just

accepting that um I could do whatever the fuck I want it is what it is it's not that deep it doesn't need to be that serious. But, uh, I did say like in the springtime, let me get back to what I was going on, um, going on about that. I'm most likely gonna tone it back to like one or two days a week once I hit the year mark. So that's what I'm doing moving forward. You can expect an episode every Sunday. I think that'll fit into my new lifestyle very seamlessly. And I can focus on work during the week and then on the weekend you know I can enjoy myself and Sunday nights I can record and update you guys on the last seven days and talk about current events which I want to do more of like I wish I had more to say about the Olympics and you know like the Delta variant

like I don't really pay attention that closely to what's happening in the world but I think I will now. Like I'll, I'll come prepared every Sunday with, uh, like current event topics and stuff. So yeah. Um, but I totally miss it. I feel like I felt guilty though. Let me be, let me be honest. I felt, I wasn't, it's been a month, right? I haven't podcast in a month, but I felt a sense of like, I think I was like out of sight, out of mind. Like I didn't want to think about the podcast. I was going to call my family and say, Hey, I haven't, I haven't podcasted in two weeks and I'm thinking about this and it's making me feel anxious and I feel guilty about not doing it and blah, blah, blah. But, um, after that, after like the first couple of weeks of taking

a break, I just accepted myself. I was like, look, it is what it is. Like, I'm not a failure. i'm proud of my nearly 300 days in a row of podcasting and um i'm not quitting i'm continuing it it's just not going to be every day so whatever and you know what the truth of matter is no one's not i'm not fucking my audience isn't like i don't have millions of people tuning in i'm not letting millions of people down it's not that i don't even if i did though i i don't know I still take it seriously but it's not like I have a huge audience and people are like I'm so offended she just quit and didn't say anything for a month like what the fuck like that's just not the case so um but yeah I'm gonna wrap it up I gotta go to the dog park

Jim get down oh my god he's so fucking cute I can't take it yeah you're cute oh okay I should talk about my this is so boring I'm gonna talk about how much I vacuum now he's totally getting his final layer of hair or whatever you call it like he's getting so much more hair now than he used to have and so I'm vacuuming literally twice a day and my new red couch I think I podcast about the new red couch I got shows his hair so much like if he even jumps on it for a second it'll show like the little golden hairs everywhere so I'm constantly vacuuming but I have a little bit of a addiction though like I I'm it's so satisfying to empty the vacuum out when I'm done and like every time I do it so every day I do it

I'm like how much more hair can I get this time than I did yesterday or like how much more because like my goal is to always fill up the I got this like Bissell $30 vacuum on Amazon that has 40,000 fucking reviews and it works so well and it's like small and it's light like it's good for a small apartment and it does a really good job of getting dog hair but every single time I empty it I'm like I just want to like get the whole thing filled up with hair it's like or if I'm like Jacqueline if you just go for 15 more minutes if you go around the apartment one more time, it'll be double the amount of hair. Like I it's, I have a little bit of a obsession with vacuuming right now. It's kind of, but it's also a good thing. So what I do though, let me tell you

about my, why am I talking about boring shit at the end of the episode? I like how it gets me up and moving. Like in the afternoon, I might take a little 20 minute break and vacuum. You know what I mean? I'm moving around the apartment. I put on a podcast, they put on music. Maybe I make another espresso blah blah blah blah oh god we got to talk about caffeine in a sec um but that's what I like about vacuuming it's like it gets me moving a little bit gets it breaks up my day a little bit anyways but yeah I'm thinking about in all seriousness um I'm sleeping off I have not been sleeping well over the last month and I'm highly considering as I'm drinking a diet coke with how much caffeine does this even have not gonna lie this is my third third today um I kind of want

to tell you about my weekend though let me oh my god I might just end this with like the fun stuff I did this weekend because I'm just I'm like glowing and I'm thinking about it um I'm highly considering a caffeine detox in the month of August which means I think what I'm gonna do is not, I'm not going to do something extreme and go a hundred percent no caffeine. I think I'm just going to fuck like, I'm going to be honest. This is what I do every single day. So instead of doing eight shots of espresso a day, I have the Breville barista express. Like you make your own espresso at home machine. So I have, I counted, I average around eight shots a day. Um, I wake up, can't function can't take Jimmy for his walk can't do anything without my four shots of espresso

some days I do six and I literally pull four shots dump it in a glass in my pickle jar glass and I add ice and water and it's an iced Americano and that's my that's what I drink before I even get out the door and function like it's so that's so much caffeine right like upon waking up that's what I do and then usually if I have a meeting at like 10 a.m I'll have an I'll have two more shots on ice I just like black coffee iced I don't know that's just my current I've been on that kick for a while I think I've talked about it before with you guys just like iced Americanos iced espresso I love it um then I'll have like two shots before my meeting or like mid-morning and then if I take like a lunch break or whatever and like chill around noon one all once I like

come back to work after that I'll have like two more shots and then sometimes if I'm really fucking pushing it before yoga I know this sounds terrible but around five when I do yoga I'll have like another espresso shot or two so I'm definitely in a bad place with my caffeine addiction and I haven't been sleeping well and I feel like I just need to cut back so like I'll slowly wean myself off of having instead of like eight a day I'll just do like four or whatever isn't this the most fascinating I feel like you know what I'm back this is what I do this is what I do you know what I ramble about whatever comes to mind and I often think it's boring but this is what I do and I'm back I feel like I'm in my honestly I want to

wake up tomorrow and podcast again. This is going to be a, you know what? Fuck it. I'm doing seven. No, I'm doing seven days a week again. Kill myself. Like I would literally run myself into the ground again. If I did that, I could not. Um, Oh my God, I picked up golf. Fuck. Okay. So, well, I didn't really pick it up, but I, I just thought of this. I didn't add it to the list. I went to the driving range and I haven't been to the, so I've, I love watching golf on TV. I think I've talked about that I'm obsessed with golf I love watching it I don't play golf um so yeah but but I've always like wanted to try it I've always wanted to go to the driving range and like work on my swing and see what I can do right so I haven't been in two years and last time

I went uh I had like one I was I don't know like I got I hit the ball really well one time but this time I think this is the beginning of July yeah I went to the range and I I think I counted like I was there for I don't know we were there for like maybe an hour and a half or so I think I missed the ball like hitting the ball like I didn't make contact three times so like I was I was whacking that I was hitting the ball straight too and far like I was I I'm like I'm gonna take golf seriously now like I'm gonna practice like I'm gonna go to the range regularly like I want to get good at golf I think that's gonna be my new life journey my new hobby um it just felt so good and especially because if you hit the ball

hard and far it like feels good you're like oh I can do this and I know my swing isn't that pretty but um I'm coachable oh my god I'm so coachable like I was getting told to like oh when you take the what was it called like slow down your back swing or your takeaway a little bit like slow it down more and then like wind up faster I don't know something like that and I just like see I think what it is is I see it I'm like visual where I like see the swing before I do it or whatever I don't know so golf new adventure new hobby golf hiking what else skiing is coming down well I don't know we'll see how everything goes but I'm gonna be outdoors a lot more than I used to be which I miss and I think that's why like I don't go to the gym anymore I think I've told

you guys I work out at home I do yoga at home every single day I'm in the best shape I've been in over a year. So that's, and I'm not going to the gym, which is cool, but I'm constantly outside. I'm constantly walking Jimmy. I'm constantly in fresh air. I'm constantly like hiking around the neighborhood. I'm minimum walking, like on like a bad day, I'm walking four miles a day. Like I'm my Apple watch usually says like anywhere from 10 to some days are like 20,000 steps, 18,000, probably not 20,000. Like, so I'm active. I'm moving. I'm not going to the gym though, which I feel like is such a crazy concept for me because I was a gym rat I was a gym what do you call it bae what the fuck gym girl what are you what like I was like a gym shark

chick no I wasn't wearing gym shark but I was doing all those like glute workouts and like lifting workouts and I would do like my treadmill sprints and I do my I don't know kettlebells and stuff and sled pushes and rope I don't even know and I just don't do any of that anymore it's been a year of this and I don't know I feel really good I feel like I'm healthier than I've been and I'm not going to the I don't know um but this weekend oh my god okay so should I talk about it I had some margaritas at the beach on Friday night and I had like two and then I had this amazing quesadilla. And then on Saturday, I, which was yesterday, I had pizza for lunch and dinner and ice cream. And I watched the sunset and ate ice cream. And

yeah, I got pizza after we got pizza after ice cream, which was cool. And then I sat and watched the stars um and drank a nice bottle of wine i think it was called cooper and thief or something i think cooper and thief thief and cooper i don't know it's a trader joe's it's like one of their more expensive bottles apparently but it was really fucking good i think it's aged or whatever in bourbon barrels i drank wine and watched the stars in the city from a guys, I just, I'm happy, I'm just happy, and I'm thinking about this, and I ate fucking Maltesers, Maltesers, those, like, malted chocolates from Europe, I think they're, like, a European thing, but I don't know, I had a great weekend, and

yeah, I just kind of, like, ate and drank a lot, and it feels good, I don't know, I'm fat and happy this weekend um what did I eat today oh I caught up I caught up on some billions episodes and ate corn chips and I didn't have any salsa so I used um marinara so gross does anyone else do that that's so dude I didn't say that I dipped my corn chips in marinara and they kind of had a hint of lime on them so it was like it was not a good combo but it kind of, like, did the job, and I was, I just wanted, like, a snack. What else did I eat? I don't know. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm, you know, it's good to be back. I still get DMs. I still get DMs. People are, like, I'm on episode 75. I'm catching up. I'm

trying to catch up, and I'm, like, I haven't done an episode in a month, and you're still, like, trying to catch up so that's kind of funny to me I don't know um but yeah it's good to be back I hope you guys are doing well I hope your summer's as fun as you wanted it to be I hope you're having your hot girl summer or your hot boy summer that you wanted I know everyone talked about that before summer I was like oh this is hot girl summer you know what I've concluded that I'm just not to be honest here's what I here's should I say this if you asked me in February what I wanted my summer to be like I would have told you I want a hot girl summer and now I'm realizing that that's just not me and I just not that it's not me it's just like I don't love I've been okay

I've been single I've been doing my own thing I've been I've been having hot girl summer summer after summer after summer after summer and it's just like I've been there done that and I know it's like COVID's over people are going out now and you can do stuff so I get how that could be fun again but I'm just like mentally kind of it I don't know it doesn't sound as exciting and as fun as it did when I'm just growing dude I'm getting old fucking old and I'm getting kind of like I like I don't know I like I'm just I feel like I'm old I'm getting old and boring but I really like my life I like my daily routine I like everything going on right now and it is what it is and I accept that part of myself but if you're having your hot girl summer I hope you're

having a fun one I hope you're having a safe one I hope you're having a I hope you're feeling as I don't know, I hope, you know what, I don't know what I'm trying to say, but it's August, summer's not over, um, guys, I don't know how to end this episode, should I go on Instagram, um, I just got a text, oh, I don't even know, I have to, like, post this podcast, I don't know what my podcast cover is going to be, oh, I should see what the results were, I had everyone vote on my Instagram what my new cover should be because I have brown hair now and I wanted a new cover for my new debut my new daily or my new weekly podcast everyone's giving me mixed reviews I have like three or six five five five between three and six two three or six

three six five one five six six two everyone's like giving me a different response I don't know um Michaela Skinner has won her first Olympic medal silver for the individual vault I was just talking about this like I don't want if I go to the Olympics I would want to what is a bronze over a silver first loser is silver I just don't think like if you don't get gold I almost like if you don't get gold I don't want a medal like I feel like that's kind of Olympian I would be I don't want to be in second place fuck that I want to be first or nothing like that's it first or fucking dead last you know what if I knew I was

losing I would fucking I would like if I was a swimmer and I was coming in second and I knew I wasn't gonna win this is not a good example like I feel like you couldn't fucking know if you're coming in second it's just like you're going so fast you're in the water you can't see anything but like I would just literally stop and just like doggy paddle and just fuck around and just come in dead last because I'm like fuck this I'm not getting a silver medal I don't want that I don't want a bronze I don't know everyone's talking about this uh what is her name Simone I don't even know I don't even know what to say about it because I don't know much about it the gymnast I don't even know how to say her last name I don't really know much I need to

end the episode maybe I'll comment on all that stuff next weekend when the lights go down in the city um yeah i gotta go but i love podcasting and here i am once again with an episode for you and it feels good to be back and i don't know how many fucking ways I can say the same thing over and over but I think I have a good thing going on here with myself or for myself I think this is something that it's a it's a positive hobby in my life or a positive thing in my life and I don't want to quit it it wasn't that I I think I after a couple weeks I was like oh my god what's my game plan what's my game plan I'm like jocelyn just take july off and then come back once a week and that's what i'm gonna do

i never contemplated stopping this 100 so anyways um happy sunday happy august rent's due bitches it's august 1st rent's due pay your bills work hard what does my basic bitch sign back here say success the accomplishment of a goal or purpose favorable results or positive returns on hard work dude it's all about working hard that's all it is it's why people I feel like that's the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people it's working hard is this been is this redundant this has been talked about a thousand different ways a hundred million times but like as I get older I realize that the more hours you put into something like the more work you put into something the more successful you're gonna be it's the

there's like a one-to-one ratio between action I think this is it I think there's a one-to-one ratio between action and results is that what I'm seeing in my head yeah like taking action on something like actually working actually working hard putting one foot in front of the other making a step towards a goal the result of that is a result wait what did i say action and results i don't know what i'm fucking saying yeah like you're not going to get results without taking action. That's what I mean. So anyways, I get attached to my fucking microphone sometimes. I'm like, I just can't end it. I'm watching the sunset. Is there anyone outside I could

talk about before I quit or end the show? Oh, the other night I got a knock on my door. My neighbor was locked out. She locked her keys outside or in her apartment and I felt so bad I had like postmated some food too and it like showed up and I'm like I kind of want to like go eat this but I was sitting at her front door with her just talking like literally for two hours she's like waiting for someone to come pick her up and anyways so that happened since I've talked to you guys I keep remembering stuff I'm like so that happened I was like call a locksmith she's like I'm not gonna do that I was like oh okay I almost called her a locksmith because my landlord was like traveling or something and she couldn't bring her a key we should totally have one of

those key boxes or whatever where you can if you lock yourself out of your apartment you can go put a little passcode on the thing and like get a spare key that seems to me like we might have that i don't know that my landlord didn't say anything about something like that but how do we end the show happy sunday happy august i hope you're doing well hope you're happy what do I always say I hope you're happy I hope you're fulfilled I hope you're happy I hope you're fulfilled because I think if you're fulfilled so happiness I think being fulfilled in whatever you're doing in life like with work and relationships and hobbies if you're fulfilled

and your purpose that I think the result of that is happiness like that is how you that is how you find happiness in life is being fulfilled in your daily life in your lifestyle that you've chosen because everything's a choice and you can choose I mean like everything like your job like your friends your hobbies everything's a choice so if you make positive choices the result of that is happiness this is cliche but like I think I've discovered that it's like oh Jacqueline why are you happy you're generally super happy right now it's because I'm fulfilled I'm doing something I love every day um like I love my job I love like Jimmy's making me feel super fulfilled I have something to nurture and love and take care of that loves me back unconditionally I love my

podcasting hobby I have a rich family life and yeah it's just I don't know so I hope you're happy what let me just cut oh my god end the show I hope you're happy right as the sun's setting literally it's going down as I'm saying this I hope you're happy I hope you're fulfilled the final one I always say is I hope you love yourself so that's it episode what is this 293 is done and I will be I'll be back next Sunday hit that subscribe button if you haven't already um if you want to leave a review on the Apple podcast app about me not going blonde ever again because I look like shit with as a blonde that's mean I honestly don't hate how I looked I'm just like I look so much better as brunette but

yeah i can leave a review on the apple podcast app and um i'm gonna fire my patreon backup you can you can support the show over on patreon.com slash tjms it's my little subscription service you get bonus content um i put i put extra content on there it's a way to support the show obviously i don't make money from podcasting i'm not getting sponsors or anything but um it's kind of my little like fan club or whatever like the diehard listeners are over there and they like see my like apartment vlogs that I put up and my random pictures that like support what I'm talking about on the show that don't go on Instagram or anything because I'm too embarrassed like posts like raw unedited like like throwback photos that I I don't know like because a lot of

the times I tell stories on here and then I post pictures on my Patreon that so you can make sense of it all anyways patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show it would mean a lot to me and yeah that's it hope you have a great day and I will talk to you not tomorrow I usually say I'll talk to you tomorrow I'll talk to you next Sunday bye