The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 294- I Went Rock Climbing

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up, guys? Happy Sunday. It's episode 294. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show happy Sunday hi how's it going hit that subscribe button I'm here every week I used to say I'm here seven days a week but those days those days are gone I feel every time this is the third week in a row now that I've done one podcast a week and I feel so out of sorts like I I feel like I need to catch you up a whole week now I need to recap what I talked about last week which I completely forgot about, anyways, I don't, I, Jesus Christ, okay, Jacqueline, I don't know if you can hear my air conditioner on, my AC in the background, but I'm taking a chance with the audio, because it's

currently sunset, it's 6 32 p.m., and I'm sweaty, okay, and my dog is sweaty, and he has a skin condition right now. Let's talk about that. Okay. So first of all, I went rock climbing yesterday. We'll talk about that. I'm going to basically, okay, let me tell you about the episode. Episode 294. What are we going to talk about? We're going to talk about me. Okay. This is my show. It's the Jacqueline. I need to stop with the noises. It's the Jacqueline Rose show and it's all about me. Okay. I'm basically going to walk you through the events of the events of my life over the last seven days and then there's a lot of stuff going on in the world and I'm gonna I might touch on Afghanistan I might touch on that like I I got some thought I have I have

some thoughts but I feel like we're mostly gonna I don't know I'll probably talk about that at the end if I feel like it but overall I'm super uh sad and the whole situation is just heartbreaking and like these fucking these poor people are being bullied by the fucking Taliban Taliban how did I loved how Obama said Taliban I think he said no how did he say he said like a word Iraq no how did he say Iraq I don't know I just liked how he spoke about the Middle East the words like the pronunciations that he uh used what am I saying oh my god okay Jacqueline, back to the task at hand. First of all, dog has a skin. Okay. I'm going to tell you about how my dog has a skin issue and I got to tell you about rock climbing. What's on this list

here? I have a whole, Oh, I got to talk to you about the car crash from last week. Update on that. Um, and yeah. Okay. Anyways, first of all, Jimmy's getting castrated on Wednesday. Okay. he's a boy he's a nine-month-old golden retriever okay and it's part of his journey in life it's going to be part of his journey in life to live without balls and that's happening Wednesday however god this happens every episode I'm like I just want to I want to redo the intro I want to start this over because I don't edit the show I just talk in one take and I'm feeling that right now i'm feeling like jacqueline what did you just say about obama pronouncing the taliban taliban or how did he say i honestly is that a sound effect on like a youtube i bet there's like

youtube clips of him talking obama saying taliban why does my brain do this obama obama taliban obama i'm saying it weird i shouldn't even be making i shouldn't even be giggling saying here what year 2009 al-qaeda and its allies the terrorists who planned and al-qaeda and its allies wait the terrorists who may be clear the 9-11 attacks are in pocket multiple intelligence estimates attacks on the united dude he was such a good president like when he spoke oh my god i'm starting to get okay hold on states homeland from he has conviction when he speaks like you feel like you can like oh god i don't want to bring up biden but what the fuck you guys have all seen those videos of like two weeks ago what he said it's just it's crazy

okay in pakistan that's it oh wait he said pakistan pakistan pakistan wait and if the and if the afghan government in pakistan the state's homeland from its safe haven in pakistan state's homeland from its safe haven in pakistan i don't know i think that was the word i was thinking of pakistan i just liked how he said the words jimmy's got his nose in my sleeve right now how does he say yeah there he said wait wait falls to the taliban falls to the taliban falls to the taliban i don't even know if you guys can hear that because the air conditioner is on right now. And anyways, um, Oh God. Okay. Hold on. Let me get up and turn off my air conditioner. Cause I don't know. This is going to be kind of loud. I feel like

we're just taking a little break. We're taking a beginning of the podcast break. I can't even tell a single story straight. Okay. So Jimmy is, uh, he's, his skin is raw. Okay. I went to pet him and I noticed a little crusty thing on his back that was kind of, it was like, it was huge. It was a little, it was like the size of an AirPods case in diameter. Um, in a thickness too like it was a thick scab it was like he had an airpod case scab on his back anyways it's on his low back I pet him all the time I'm constantly brushing him I can't believe I just noticed this it seems like it had been there for a while like it scabbed over right so anyways I immediately freaked out I was like I was inspecting it uh he wasn't like

squealing or acting uncomfortable. I haven't been noticing him. I haven't been noticing him itch uncontrollably or act weird. Um, anyways, I inspected it and I was like, Oh my God, this is really bad. It's like a giant crusty scab and it looked like it was infected. So I immediately threw him in the shower. I was like, I'm got, I got to go clean this up. I got to get him well stop I stopped everything I was doing and I showered him and then I kind of like picked the scab off and cleaned it up really good it's kind of disgusting but dude this is what you sign it I feel like you don't know when you first get a puppy like you don't know what you're getting like okay Jacqueline I guys I don't know how I'm having a hard time telling stories and carrying

on a conversation alone right now this is not something this is not something I used to struggle with in the past on it, on the podcast. And I feel like I'm struggling today. Okay. I can always slow down. I can always slow down. Okay. When you get a dog by yourself, you don't really know what you're getting into until things happen. If that makes sense. Um, like day one, if you guys remember back in February, the first night I got him, he, shit, excuse me, he had, he had bloody diarrhea. He had five accidents of bloody diarrhea all over my white sheets throughout the night, the first night I got him, okay, he was eight weeks old, and that was, so that was, that's what I, that's what, that was my first experience getting a puppy,

uh day one what am I saying okay so anyways things happen they come up then you have to deal with it you have to call the vet you have to take them in you have to like look stuff up on google constantly like so yeah like one of my google searches on my my tabs here is like can you put hydrogen peroxide on a dog wound and apparently that's not recommended but like I'm constantly looking stuff up anyways I clean it I'm trying to cut to the chase here about his his whole body's covered in this rash okay it's not just that spot it's not just that scab that giant scab I picked off in the shower it's his whole body so I get him out dry him off I go about my day and then he rolls over on his back and I was petting his belly and I was like oh fuck I'm like why does

his skin look so red and he's got long hair he's a golden retriever and I start peeling the little hair away kind of inspecting each little nook and cranny under his armpits especially we're raw his whole belly everything's red and raw like he's being eaten alive by a fucking parasite I don't know or he's allergic to something I can't think of anything he'd be allergic to because I've been giving him the same stuff for his whole life and this just happened so I don't know what's going on he's got surgery Wednesday I called the vet they said we're gonna check him out before he goes in uh to get the surgery we'll make sure he's good because we don't want him we don't want his skin to be uh infested and like having a reaction when we're going to cut him open so

chances are he's probably fine and might need some medication or ointment but anyways that's the latest on jimmy he's nine months old he's amazing you guys all see him if you follow me on Instagram, you see all the, like, I'm, I'm literally about, I should just make him his own Instagram page, but it is what it is, like, all my story is every day, it's just Jimmy, it's like, what's, what's Jimmy doing, you know, in the morning, what's he doing in the afternoon, it's like us on a walk, him laying down looking cute on the couch, him, uh, playing with a toy like it's just constantly Jimmy on my story but um yeah he's good uh okay next thing on the list so that was the first story uh so I feel like I just covered a topic

first topic was Jimmy's skin rash me showering with him I always I always throw my back out when I do that oh my god I've told the story so many times I bathe him I don't take him to a groomer I just do it in my uh shower and every time I bathe him I'm hunched over like a question mark what's the shape yeah like a question mark I'm hunched over like a question mark and I throw my back out and I forget to brace brace my core and I my I'm just because I have to bend over to scrub them and it takes a while to to do it and anyways I actually have a chair in my shower. I have this like chair thing. And I've said in my head, I've said in my head so many times, okay, next time I wash them, I'm just going to sit here and do it. I'm not going to

stand. And I always stand and I always throw, throw my back out and whatever. So he's good though. Okay. Next story. Um, should I, I got a whole list here. I actually took notes. Um, I don't like that I wrote in orange ink. I don't like that I wrote in orange ink. It's hard to read. Um, my sleep, I wrote my sleep routine as a joke. Yep. So for about, I'm going to put this back. This is a boring topic to even listen to like, Oh, her sleep routine. Like she's struggling with sleep. Like, I don't know how to make this interesting for you, but it's a life update. This is something that's going on. Uh, this podcast in the past when I did it every single day of the week was like an audio diary so anything that happened throughout the day I would report on

um like every little detail of my life was reported on so that's kind of what I'm doing here today even though this okay so yeah I'd say since like May I just I don't sleep good okay I don't sleep good I I fall asleep easily I've never had I've never had the issue where I can't fall asleep um but I think I'm just I think what it is is I'm consistently getting like six six and a half hours I rarely get eight hours of sleep I rarely even get seven so I think that's what's it's like um over time it's starting to really affect my body I don't know guys I don't know I don't know I feel like I feel like I function well here's what I think here's what I think uh and also like what's new I think I drink too much caffeine and I need to scale back and

I've talked I've talked about this so many times and like oh I need to cut back on caffeine but like I really need to commit to it and do it because I make I don't know like for upon waking up I put down I have a barista express coffee machine I put down I do two double shots on ice and I make an iced americano while I walk my dog so that's what wait four shots of espresso at like I wake up at 5 30 6 a.m okay I can't even do anything without that so that's a problem first wall in fact I can't even like function throughout like I can't even sometimes I'm like I can't even brush my teeth I can't even like make my bed I can't even like pet my dog until I've had that coffee it's kind of like that like I'm such a zombie and I'm such a like slow motion foggy

person until I have that coffee so anyways uh I think I should scale that back to maybe a shot or to or wait and just force myself to wait until like 8 a.m i don't know guys it's a broken record i don't want to make this a whole segment but yeah sleep's been sucking i am not i think the problem is also that i okay i think let me take a drink of my bubbly i'm drinking a bubbly i didn't even tell you guys what I'm drinking bubbly grapefruit sparkling water did I see a tiktok or some shit that said this has sawdust in it does this have cellulose in it yeah I saw this tiktok that was like this is why the food system is killing us it was like cellulose is considered edible or no cellulose is basically ground up sawdust and the fda or whoever the whoever

whatever they class it's edible it's tech they said it's technically edible so they use it as a substitute for like flowers and stuff i don't know why that would be in here in this sparkling water but god i love tiktok i barely retain any information i learn on it um speaking of that here's a new tangent before I um did I even finish the sleep topic and we can I think we oh oh I was just gonna say that I don't have a strict bedtime and I think that's something I should improve as well so like cut back on caffeine force myself to have a bedtime because I think if I consistently have the same bedtime this is so like 101 how to be a person like your mom teaches this to you when you're five years old learning how to have a

bedtime routine like I know this is boring and not interesting but yeah like Jacqueline go to bed at 10 30 11 10 30 go to bed at 11 11 30 go to bed at midnight go to bed Jacqueline go to bed you can stay on tiktok until like one cut off cut yourself go to bed at one wake up at 5 30 that's my problem like the income it's I'm inconsistent because some nights I'm super tired and I just naturally fall asleep around 10 30 that's like when my body's ready to go to bed like naturally and the other nights I'm entertaining myself with oh the show I also wrote this down my current show that I'm watching that I'm obsessed with is billions billions on showtime so yeah I'll be on my couch chilling watching tv and then I push myself like I'll be tired but I'll push myself

because I want to finish the episode, and then I'm like, oh, I want to watch another episode, so those nights happen, and then also it's 10 30, I'm tired, now I'm in bed, I'm on my phone, I'm on TikTok, I can't stop, 10 30 becomes 11, 11, and then I'm like, oh, 30 more minutes, 30 more minutes, and then I'm on Instagram, and then I'm, you know, it's just like, so I'm not disciplined, basically what I'm saying is, I need to be disciplined, and I'm not, and god i just i'm killing my i'm so this is not good for my health i think i would guys i just don't here's where i'm at let me be honest what was i gonna just talk about oh a tiktok i saw let me put a little star a stupid fucking orange star with my orange orange pen

here to remember tiktok story um about why we like tiktok videos something new i learned slow down Jacqueline take a drink of your bubbly I feel like I just got into the flow right here with a podcast episode like I just finally feel like I'm at home on the microphone again it takes me a while I feel like I have to warm up talking I don't know so I don't know how else to say this other than I just don't feel like I've got a lot of what's the word like I the word is vitality vitality like I'm my I'm lacking in that area like vital definition of vitality like you know you just feel good and you're energized and you're just

like, woohoo, like the state of being strong and active, energy, liveliness, life, energy, animation, spirit, yeah, the power giving circumstance, excuse me, that's not the word, the power giving continuance of life, present in all things, the, in quotes, the vitality of seeds, yeah, I just don't have that little pep in my step like I did when I was 18, you know what I'm saying, I know I'm approaching 30. I shouldn't say that. I'm closer to 25 than I am 30. And he stopped saying that. I just, you know what I mean? So I think I'm just, I'm always tired. I don't have a lot of energy to do stuff like I used to. I don't know. I'm just kind of like, eh. Maybe that has to do with my lifestyle choices. Like I, I don't know. I'm not like, I don't do drink and do drugs

and party all the time I'm not even doing that it's just like I'm I'm very active I'm I feel like I eat pretty I could do better I feel like I eat healthy I should probably improve that too uh can't we all um but yeah it's just one of those things where I'm like why I just feel like shit sometimes whatever um but I'm like happy you know what I mean like I'm life's good things are going well but my resting state isn't like zesty like I want it to be I think I'm gonna go vegan I think I'm gonna do it I think I'm gonna go raw vegan like freely the fucking banana girl from 2012 and eat bananas all day and drink smoothies and fucking go vegan because vegan because I did that before um back in college and I was vegan for three years and holy shit the first six months

of just eating fruit you're like you're like a five-year-old again like your your body's just like you feel so energized like I would jump out of bed with energy I didn't eat I didn't drink coffee for those six six months I don't even know how I meant I don't guys me today would never fucking do that but sometimes I look back at that time and I'm like god damn I felt amazing like that's all I need to do just a little like detox maybe I'll do 30 day I don't know people do this shit all the time I'm not into that stuff though I think those are like uh they're like band-aids like here's a quick fix just drink lemon water for a week or whatever or just like I don't know whole 30 it or I kind of eat whole 30 I'd say that's my style of eating like paleo

like fucking you know clean eating I don't know there's like labels for everything but yeah I'm trying to get my vitality back that's my current journey I'm trying to improve my sleep that's probably going to help improve that's probably going to help my vitality um do you want to talk Jim say something he's trying to get on the microphone mic check mic check here kiss it boop boop he booped it um I'm people watching right now the sun is setting I got my neighbor oh her puppy's getting huge my neighbor has this little black lab puppy it's starting to get long legs it's so cute um yeah the sun is setting here in San Diego I'm podcasting I'm knocking this out

you know what I'm not a professional you know what I mean I just do this for fun and I don't know like I used to feel like I was really fucking good at podcasting and like now that I do it once a week I'm so I just don't I shouldn't even call attention to this and volunteer up this information in my head because you guys probably aren't thinking this you're probably like oh my god this is lit I'm having so much fun hanging out with Jacqueline oh my god this podcast is great I love listening to it but I'm in my head I just don't I don't know I'm kind of like I need to be more I don't know like I should come more prepared or like think more clearly about what I'm gonna say and like what topics I'm gonna do and make it make sense because

like what the fuck was I talking about in the beginning um first of all Jacqueline stop swearing okay I'm just gonna tell you the TikTok thing let me cross off some notes billions I told you about that sleep routine is a joke i told you about that uh yeah oh football is back hey good evening sports fans football is back pre-season is upon us bitches and i wrote that down as a note that that segment's done i don't have much to say i just know that the fucking raiders killed us and by us i mean the seattle seahawks because that's the only team i'm going to be mentioning this entire season uh not happy about it anyways um so on TikTok I was watching a TikTok about TikTok and basically the reason we like TikTok so much isn't because of what we think

it's not because this whole like we have a short attention span thing uh what am I saying there's like a lot of uh there's a lot of content out there about how our phones and phone addiction and social media has create like has caused us to have a shorter attention span and i guess that's been debunked like there's reports or whatever studies or i don't know that are basically saying that's been debunked so this tiktok uh was basically saying that the reason we like these short videos is because we're, we're obsessed with completion. Like the human brain loves to see something go to completion, whether that, and they used it, they used an example like vacuuming, vacuuming up. Is that how you say vacuuming? Vacuuming?

The more you say vacuuming, the worse. Oh my God. Don't, I can't say it anymore. Vacuuming, Vac, vacuuming. Like if you're vacuuming up sand on your carpet after you've been at the beach all day and you hear that little crunchy sand noise going into your vacuum and you see the sand go off of your rug into, it feels good. Your brain is satisfied. Okay. That's why people love cleaning. that was one of the examples and then as far as tiktok videos goes uh you feel it's addicting because you feel good like you're that you're completing all of these you're um finishing a video like seeing the little ticker thing at the bottom go to the end is what gets us that's what makes us addicted to tiktok it's like completing a video and then another one and then another one

and then thinking even though you barely retain anything unless you're taking notes on the tiktok videos but um it also feels good to like learn new information over and over and over and over and over and over and over again so and that's all it's diverse like you're not being fed the same stuff it's like whatever the algorithm is going to give you that day you know what i mean it's not it's it's like a it's addicting because you never know what you're going to get so yeah uh there's a little fun fact for you for the day it's all about completion what else do we complete that we're obsessed with to completion uh fuck making a meal i don't know dude cooking an egg i've been obsessed with these uh breakfast sandwiches lately i've been eating a lot of bagels

um what are they called bacon egg and cheese bagels sandwiches bacon egg and cheese it's not the like typical one everyone eats on an everything bagel yeah I've been eating a lot of those lately with avocado and but I'm talking about cooking an egg there's something about that like you see it like you guys all know what I mean like you see the doing like a sunny side up egg you can see a before and after and then when it's done it's like satisfying that's a stupid example what's a better one I can think of a better one I can think of a better one do not writing an essay for a college paper fuck that that doesn't even feel good does it feel good like I don't think I ever finished a 10,000 word essay or whatever the

assignment was and felt and felt amazing writing that last sentence that that was like no that doesn't feel good I'll tell you what feels good let's segue this into the next topic, uh, Jesus, that was a great transition, Jacqueline, I, I completed, so something I completed yesterday was a hike to the top of Lawson Peak, uh, which means I had to climb up on a rock, the peak was, it's, so it's like a rock thing, there's like a bunch of rocks on the top of the mountain, you have to climb, you have to climb up to the top, and I remember the feeling of standing on the top and going wow I did that I did this it's 14 it was 1500 feet of elevation now let's talk about my hike um that's what I did yesterday I guess this could be a fun thing I

never I've never talked about hiking on here or rock climbing or I mean I didn't even tell the story of last week last week in high I went to REI and I bought new uh what are they called assault shoes. Fuck it. I'm not assault approach shoes. I don't know if you guys are rock climbers out there or, or outdoors people who, I don't know if you hike, but these shoes have, what's it called? The, uh, what's the bottom of the soul that, uh, Las Partida. Let me look at the shoe. uh there's a little yellow label that lets you know that the vibram is it vibram souls it's it's like a little seal like oh these are vibram i'm zooming in v i b yeah vibram souls they have vibram vibram vibram souls so they're super like start uh sticky when you do stuff

around rocks and climb rocks I don't know and the toe they're leather first of all so they're super nice um they're called La Sportiva TX4 Approach Shoes they're 140 dollars ugly as shit these are the most ugly shoes I've ever seen in my life I hate hiking boots I hate hiking shoes uh I'm doing a 50 mile, 50 mile, fuck, I'm doing a 50 mile hike, a five day hike in September. Yeah. Next month. So I need, I need a good pair of shoes. That's why I got these. And I just, I just think hiking, they're, they're, they're just not cute. But after this hike yesterday to that, the top of the peak, climbing those rocks, I was like, these are the sexiest shoes I've ever fucking seen in my life I am obsessed with them I want to wear them every single day of my life I want to wear

them all the time they're first of all they're so comfortable like the way they feel and when your foot's in there like it feels amazing but the way they stick to the rocks like I was going down uh steep like going off of the mountain I was going down steep like cliff things I don't even know basically it's like you know what it was it was like God just it's like dumped a bunch of rocks it's erosion right it's coming up from underneath and it like bubbles to the top somehow when the or is it the terrain gets blown away and then the rocks are there or are they coming up from is it a subduction zone what the fuck is this called i don't even know i used to be obsessed with um geology and earth science and plate tectonics and i fucking loved earthquakes and

learning all about that kind of stuff basically it's like these huge boulders like giant ass rocks like the size of Costco not that big like the size of a limousine were just placed on top of the mountain so basically when I was walking down them with my La Sportiva TX4 approach shoes I was like sticking to the rocks I wasn't falling it was amazing so yeah I'm obsessed with these shoes. Um, I got them last weekend. REI. Okay. I already said that. Let's talk about the hike. Um, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm pretty athletic. I don't know. What am I trying to say? I was kind of surprised by my lungs. Like I don't, this wasn't easy to me. It was easy. it wasn't easy it was technical but I was able to like I was power walking I was trying to make

it a workout I was like getting way ahead of the the gang and uh should I just say it okay I think I mentioned that I won't say it just know I wasn't alone basically I was power walking in my last Portiva TX4 approach and I was just feeling really strong and I think it's all this walking I've been doing with my dog every morning and every night and I've been running more lately I've been doing this really hard workout class with Travis Elliott every single day um he's a yoga instructor you can check him out on YouTube I don't know I've been doing all this stuff and I'm like yeah I went on this hike that I thought was gonna be a lot more challenging and I was like damn I got I got I want to like do this all the time like I want to

keep I can't wait for this 50 mile hike anyways um let's talk about the rock climbing because I'm I'm terrified of heights uh I can just look I can just see the image of a goat standing on the side of a cliff somehow with its tiny hooves somehow clipped on the ledge ever so precisely so it doesn't fucking fall guys have you seen those pictures goats on cliffs i feel like everyone has i've said this before that's a glitch in the simulation that's when you're on a map in a video game and you're in no man's land you're not supposed to be there and some weird shit starts happening and you're all of a sudden like climbing up the side of the map like does anyone know what i'm talking about yeah i feel

like that doesn't make any fucking sense like these goats on the cliffs I also feel like okay but I can just see the image of that and immediately get tingly sensations in my feet and my knees I clench up I tense up I just I freak the fuck out it's I'm so terrified of heights like I feel I can just think about it and hurt if I see this guy the free solo climber guy uh do a take an interview for god's sakes he's not even on the mountain i'm not even looking at him i might he's on a podcast having a conversation him describing things having a conversation with someone about pre-solo climbing gives me that tickling sensation but i faced my fear i fuck i fucking i got to the top of that peak i felt i

went to completion i climbed that bitch to completion i faced my fear of heights i did it and um let me get back to the climbing story the hiking story I was okay before that so before I got to the peak there was a trail and I mean how well guys I feel like describing hiking is so fucking boring first of all it's like you're on the trail you've got a destination and you walk the same way back so yeah but on the trail I was scoping out the rocks on the way up like I was like okay I want this one I'm gonna get this one on the way back I want this one I'm gonna get this one on the way back I knew I was going home with a rock or two or six I think I have I they're in front of me I have like six rocks that

I collected from this hike but yeah it was funny I was like looking at the rocks I wanted to keep I was trying to remember where they were and they they were like really pretty white rocks because the clay it was like orange clay and like dirt but some of the rocks are bright white and really like crystal-y looking so anyways um that was kind of fun give it gave me something to do on the way up um but then so we got to the part of the hike where you have to start scrambling i think it's called uh we had to like walk through a bunch of brush there was overgrown bushes and stuff we had to like kind of duck down and like get through and you could barely see the trail and then within that there's these giant rocks you have to climb up it felt like i was in a

elementary school again on the playground and that was so fun I was so stoked like I wasn't even scared the only part I got scared was where when did I have like an oh shit moment I had one oh shit moment when I took a weird step and I had to catch my balance but other than that oh and when I was shown like hey by the way if you want we could go over on this cliff and walk around to the summit this way and you literally walk which we didn't do because I was like fuck no uh but I saw the cliff I got close to the edge I like kind of saw what was going on there uh that part I didn't like um but that was probably the only major thing that freaked me out anyways but yeah we were scrambling up to get to the

summit let me think of what else happened again how do you describe hiking and make it interesting um i saw like a handkerchief tied on a branch i don't know there's some random debris from like people hiking on the way up like some broken bottles and i don't know just some random shit broken like pieces of people's hiking shoes are shitty they weren't wearing las portivas i'll tell you that they were wearing fucking keens no keens are nice they were wearing fucking jimmy don't drink that they were wearing their adidas up there horrible idea and yeah i saw some like pieces of shoe oh and there's this like weird like bucket i'm sure the hiking nerd people love this right now there's this like bucket thing of um

it was like a tupperware container full of notebooks and random notes and shit like people write in and leave on the top of the mountain i don't even know uh but yeah we got to the top so there was one part where I was like shit like I'm not on a rope and I could fall pretty far here and I was just like trusting my body I was trusting my legs trusting my feet trusting my little fingers I'm glad I didn't I didn't have a manicure on that day I didn't have like some long nail situation happening I had like short little stubby nails which is perfect and I had to like my body was like a little puzzle piece and I was having to figure out how to make it fit onto the cliff and like get myself to the summit and like that's how

you get to the top like you have to scale this rock face I think it was called it was like a crack we were crack climbing I think I don't know so then we got to the top and we brought a drone and forgot that we've we got all the way up there and realized we didn't have the propellers for them but we still like used we still like played with it we like looked it has like this drone has vr goggles that you wear when you take the video you like where you can like move your head around and like i don't know so you're playing with the drone chilled up there we like took a little like we just laid on the rocks like napped it was great and then uh oh on the way down we went a different way so is this interesting i guys i have so much more to cover we haven't we haven't

even talked about the uh how did obama say it taliban taliban taliban we haven't even talked about the taliban which i kind of don't want to i feel like i might say that for next week after this week unfolds which what is it called sharia law it's about to get fucking put in place any day now these people these poor people who are trying i think we all saw the videos of the airports of them trying to get away before it's too late they're all fucked it's just they're just, they're just trying to, like, live a good life, raise their family, like, like, be happy, not have, not live in fear, and as soon as those borders get, I don't know how it works, but, like, the Taliban, I don't even want to say it right,

how do you, I don't, however they say it, I want to say it right, Taliban, fucking bullies, these fucking people are gonna keep them, they're gonna be stuck, and these young women i'm seeing these stories of them getting like taken and forced to like be what is it called like marry this taliban soldiers or i don't even know what did they force him to marry force him to be a wife i don't even know it's horrible god there was even a video of that big um plane taken off and then someone just like falling off of it they were trying to like escape and they fell off the plane wing or something

yeah but i think i'm gonna save that the i don't know maybe i'll go more into it after this week unfolds but we're fucking we're weak right now this isn't a good look for us this whole situation it's not a good look for the United States of America it is not a good look it's our and I feel like it's our it's we fucked up big and it's kind of it's kind of scary it's like I just like how do these people like how do these people the embassy get how they're the first people that are oh my god like how are they gonna get out of there how are they gonna be saved like how is this how does this work this week's gonna be the stuff that's gonna unfold this week is gonna be i feel like even more terrifying than what we've seen this over the last

like 10 days or however it they literally took over a country in 10 days 10 days and we were in there for 20 years dude it's like we fucking lost the war i feel like that is like oh the taliban just like came in and took over the afghan government intended it like we lost the war like what were we doing what was that like how many trillions of dollars did we spend and for what they took i'm not laughing but like what the fuck oh shit okay i wasn't gonna talk about that i kind of did um oh the way down on the hike let me pour my bubbly i have like a special glass here that makes my cup cold. My fifth, fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Richland, she used to have one of these and

she drank Diet Coke. She drank Diet Coke out of it all day long. And I remember one time I had to go to the freezer in the teacher's kitchen and I had to get her frozen cup out of the freezer for her. I thought it was really cool. Do they still make those? I'm sure they still make, yeah, of course. I'm like literally drinking out of one, but this is not made for, this is made for whiskey. it's not made it's like a frozen cup it's like a frozen whiskey cup that I'm drinking my bubbly sparkling water grapefruit what is this grapefruit flavor with other natural flavors and cellulose what does this even say on it do you have the these like sparkling water cans have the weirdest like have you ever looked at a LaCroix have you ever read what's on the

on a LaCroix, LaCroix can, LaCroix crayon, like, there's some weird, like, I don't even know what it says, but I remember one time I was reading a LaCroix can, I'm like, what the fuck, I think it said something like, no, no something, no, no shame, I don't even know, anyways, I should, i don't know i should have put an ice cube i said the reason why so i ordered groceries on amazon uh god i'm fucking like i'm just like you know what let's like i don't want to talk about afghanistan anymore but if this whole situation doesn't make you fucking realize how like how amazing you have it over here in this country like i don't know what will like this is like it makes i'm just like oh i just ordered amazon

groceries and my sparkling water is lukewarm because i didn't put it in the refrigerator and it sat out all day and so now i have to put it in my fancy whiskey glass that i put in the freezer because so my drinks can stay cold what the fuck i don't know these fucking god they're like oh my god i have so many opinions about the taliban and just like they come across like fucking like thugs just fucking rat just fucking degenerate like they do not they're just disgusting human beings they it's like god

just bullying all these people these innocent people for what it's like god i don't know they're disgusting they're just just like I see pictures and I'm just like yeah fucking I'll just call them rats I don't know what else to call them they're like the rats of the earth right now in my opinion okay so Jacqueline needs to cool cool off right cool Jacqueline cool cool down turn that AC should I go turn my AC back on I think I need to I'm getting too heated okay so I did yoga this week and it was Jesus Christ what else is in my on my

list here oh I didn't even finish the story about hiking yeah so we basically free soloed up it was like I don't know how many feet like maybe 15 feet of rock to get to the summit and then on the way down we had to it was so cool there was like this cave we like crawled down a hole a tiny hole we were in this little crawl space this little cave and then that cave turned into a bigger cave with like a lookout like an opening and then if you look straight down from the opening there's a like a cliff like a narrow cliff thing that has a rope installed thank god i shout out to whoever installed that rope it saved my life that day uh that you had to like climb down rappel down i don't know so that part was super cool because of the caves and that's where i saw those notebooks

and those journals i don't even i didn't even look through it i just saw it and i was like oh this is kind of interesting. Um, so yeah, I like turned around, went down the rope. It wasn't that bad. I do. I mean, I literally was like, oh, I got this. I do the splits. Like I was just going to put one foot up high, one foot down low on the bottom, on the step I needed to go down. And then boom, I'm in the splits and then boom, I do it one more time the other way. And I'm, and I'm all the way down just like a one, two step, boom, boom. And I think, I don't know overall like I'll wrap up the hiking story great experience I've done the stupid little Torrey Pines hike here in California it's not even a hike uh here in San Diego a thousand times

like when I used to live close to it I could walk there and I walked there like I would just that was like my workout I'd run Torrey Pines like throughout the week but since I moved to San Diego I haven't actually done any hike like actual hiking or I haven't gone out to any cool spots to like be outdoors other than really just the beach so that was cool great experience um then you just builds confidence it gets you out into fresh air and it was so oh my god it was a good thing to clear your mind that's what I'm trying to say um I think that's mostly what it did like gets your mind just like stripped of all the noise and all the bullshit of the world and literally the noise because when we were at the when we were at the summit

uh my favorite neighbor's walking by and she's kind of hunched over and i'm like i just you do ever see people that are hunched over when they walk in just like stand up straight just stand up straight just take your shoulders stand up straight like isn't it i can't you know it just looks painful and she's got a cane I guess it's a low back thing though that it hurts to stand up straight god damn I never want to get like that um I'm shutting my blinds because she can probably see me in here gossiping about her she's cool like the other day like I don't know about a month ago actually I talked to her in her apartment for like five hours not five like two hours it was so fun we

just like talking about everything and um like my life her life her kids dating everything it was cool she's like 70 she's a retired school teacher I think I've mentioned her before yeah um anyways overall yeah the hike was great for building like confidence in myself and clearing my mind and facing my fears but oh when we got to the summit and just lay there and kind of napped it was so quiet it was like amazing that's what I love about being out in the wilderness in nature you have to understand I grew up I was like my mom had us hiking all the time my mom was into rock climbing mountain climbing like grown up she fucking fell in a crevasse at one point blew out her ACL like she came home all fucked up from uh she was like on a glacier so I was used

to that stuff growing up I was constantly in the outdoors constantly hiking constantly doing that stuff and ever since I've gone on gone off on my own to college now to San Diego after college like I just don't really do that anymore and I kind of miss it but the thing I recognize and I realize when I'm out in open space like that is how different it feels in your body to be in that serene, quiet, untouched space. Like you literally just feel so good. And I don't know. it's, I, I'm, as you know, I'm going on this five-day hike. I'm heller high water. I'm doing that next month. I've actually got another hike. I actually have two more hikes before that, but yeah. Um, God, what was this episode about? Skin rashes on my puppy and fucking hiking. Boring.

Um, I don't know why I talk shit about myself like that. Like, Jacqueline, you're amazing. Wow. this is such a fun podcast wow you're so talented wow like I don't know I don't take myself too seriously I think that's what it is and I don't I don't ever like this is the thing I always said when I was back when I was podcasting every day I was like I don't I'm just I'm not I'm not like I just feel like I'm just like everyone else I don't want to be average in life obviously but I'm just I'm not special like I'm not I don't think of my I don't what's the word I don't have a big ego about like um how do I say this like I don't finish a podcast and go wow I'm so interesting

I'm so cool I'm so talented like I don't think I'm like change like I'm blowing minds or what am I saying like I don't know I just have like a is that self-awareness I don't know what is this called what am I even saying I don't okay nothing is more I can sniff out people's bullshit so easily now the fakeness and the bullshit especially through social media because I used I used to be a former fake bitch a former fake wannabe influencer type chick who would like posture and perform and calculate every little way I talked and moved and did things online and like it's so easy to sniff out now when people do that and so when I see it I cringe so my biggest fear now is like I never want to come across like that I just want to and so like I'll say stuff I'll

kind of talk shit to myself because I know like hey I'm just like everyone else I'm not special like I'm not you know what I mean I'm not trying to be better or like be cool or like show off or like flex or like, I'm not into that culture. Like it's a culture. I'll just admit it. Like I'm realizing that I don't fit into that culture, that Instagram culture, that influencer culture, that flex culture. I just, it's not me. It doesn't feel good. It feels, it just feels like I'm not being myself and I'm doing things for show. And I just don't live for aesthetics and vanity metrics anymore. Not like I did in the past. I just, I think it was aspirational. I looked up to people that were doing it and I thought oh I want to be like that too and now I don't give I'm just like

I feel I just feel like what is this all for is a great migration off social media gonna happen like I think it is because I think it's going to and I don't know when but I just feel like people are gonna be like they're just gonna have crack I don't think it's sustainable for a lot of the I don't know i think it's lost its luster and uh who was i listening to great episode casey fry yeah great episode casey fry on uh this past weekend with theo vaughn he was interviewed by theo vaughn and he said something about how he's like a social media guy like a funny guy on instagram and he kind of just said

the like it's kind of like the internet's kind of boring now like it's all been done all the clickbaity like hypey out there like you know big bold beautiful content it's all kind of been done and now it's just it's kind of boring it's not what it used to be and it's kind of had its day And, um, yeah, it's, and I think a lot of people like myself, it just seems more and more like a waste of life. Like, Oh, like how many hours of your life have you wasted away? Just staring at a phone. You know what I mean? Like when you start to really deconstruct it and think about it and reflect on it, it's, so I wonder in the future, like, what does that look like? Is there going to be, I don't know. I think it's called maturity. It's just all these millennials growing up.

They're not going to be, like, I don't know, on their phones as much. I don't know. I don't know. Shit. It's not going to stop, though, dude. We got, like, Neuralink happening. Neuralink's going to come after and sweep us all up. Right as the millennials are about to leave Instagram, Neuralink's going to be fucking implanted in their brains.

We're all going to be sucked back in. Oh, shit. What's crypto doing? No, I'm kidding. oh shit um did i finish my story okay let me just look at my list here i totally lost my train of thought of like what the topic was going to be about oh oh i was i know i know guys i always remember

so i always get on so i get on a new tangent and then at the end of the tangent i go how did I get here and then I remember and then it circles back around to Jacqueline was just talking shit about this podcast and what she was doing because she doesn't want to come across like she's like full of herself and I just reflected on that and I was like I don't fit into hype culture I don't fit into the flex culture what's it called like the you know okay so just some random details about my life here. Um, I had a call with my therapist. Okay. I'll cross that off. Nothing to say there. Oh, I'll say this. Okay. My thighs are so sweaty in my boobs. Like I need to turn that air conditioner on. I'm in a leather chair. This is bad combo.

Oh, here's a new tangent. I'll talk about my therapist conversation and that whole thing in a second but uh I just discovered tennis skirts and golf skirts and I don't know why I haven't been wearing these my whole life because I mean I got I got legs on me okay I got thighs I got a big butt and in the summer like sometimes I don't want to wear shorts because it's just they're different like I've I have you know I've gotten to the point now where I know what looks good I know what fits me well i know what styles to buy i love um my favorite jeans or my favorite yeah jean shorts ever are one teaspoon one teaspoon shorts because of because of the way they're cut like they're tapered on the side so the front is short and the back of the short is

the front is short of the shorts and the back of the shorts are longer and it's just they're really they just fit your butt and everything so well they make your legs look really nice so anyways but sometimes I just don't want to put on a jean short, or shorts in general, and I've noticed that these tennis skirts kind of flare out a little bit, they're easy breezy, they're, you know, light material, and they look really, I feel like, flattering on me, so I don't know, I'm wearing one right now, I've been wearing, like, every single day lately, I've been wearing a skirt, and it's been, I don't know, I've, like, fully converted into a, like, I always, so I literally just wear dresses now and skirts like I don't know I can't tell you the last time I put a pair of jeans on

yeah like I'm or pants like I don't wear unless they're yoga pants like I pretty much just wear dresses and skirts and I feel good about that like you know what it's all about embracing your feminine energy and being you know like or like just like what's it called like embodying your inner goddess. And for me, or to me, that's like wearing dresses a lot. Jesus Christ. All these TikTok videos about connecting to your feminine soul, your feminine energy, feminine. It's true though. Like you feel different when you're, I feel different when I wear a dress. I feel sexy. I feel flirty. I feel fun. I feel cute. I don't know. Just want to twirl. Just want to twirl in a field of flowers. I want to twirl, twirl in a field of wildflowers into my sundress

and, uh, drink rosé and have a picnic and eat cheese and bread in France, uh, with a hot man. uh and jimmy i don't know he's not coming i gotta fly him home i gotta look up flights that's another thing i gotta do it's on my planner god damn it i gotta fly jimmy home i gotta figure out how delta flies dogs because i haven't flown him on delta before um dude am i gonna even be able to fly i'm not vaccinated am i gonna be able to fly shit this is like what labor day weekend i'm fucked if that's the case um oh my god should I play the audio wait what was I going to talk about sorry I'm kind of coming down from this episode

okay tennis skirt I talked about that oh the therapist phone call yeah so I was without my medication for what five days as you know okay maybe you don't know my life story but because it's been about a year of me podcasting it'll be a year September 4th that'll be my one year one year anniversary of podcasting um before COVID beginning of 2020 I was working I was doing things I had a big bold beautiful lifestyle baby I was I was plugged into this world like a like I don't know I was just like life was normal. Like that's the last time it was normal, right? Quote unquote, like normal

pre COVID and COVID hit, lost my job, uh, decided not to go move back home with family. Cause I considered that I was like, I'm not going to ride this out alone. I want to be around family. This was, it was so scary. Like I was on the phone for hours with my family every single day of that first week. Like, do I get a U-Haul? Do I move? Do I get a storage unit? Do I pay for rent here and live with, like, I didn't, I didn't know what I was going to do. I decided to stay in San Diego and I had, I had a new job at the time. So I lost that. And then, uh, a new apartment, like right in March, I moved into a new apartment, like right before the pandemic and my own place. Like I've always lived alone. Well, not always, but I like to have my own place.

and uh basically from March April March April May June July for five months I would say I was depressed pretty bad like clinically like I was I was it was bad I was basically just you know every day was I remember waking up like especially in May there was a period in May where for two weeks I didn't go outside okay it's pretty bad um I've always been like looking back at my life I don't I don't have anxiety I really don't get anxious about stuff or worried and I don't have panic attacks I don't have that like anxiety thing I'm more of a depressed person where I'll just get like what's the point I'll just kind of sit around and I just like don't want to do anything zero motivation I'll just sit and I'll just think and stew and I remember for like two

weeks there I would I would wake up and I just felt like a wilted flower and I couldn't it's hard it's like a weird feel you can't really describe the feeling it's just like you're just ever and depression what is the quote depression is selfish because it's all about you and then people tell depressed people to like stop being like it's easy just like stop thinking about the sad stuff just don't think about us you know it's just like you know but what it really so I just felt like a zero like I would get out I would lay in bed in the morning and I just go it's because I didn't have anything to do that's probably what it was like oh I needed a before that I was activities excursion friends uh trips workplace going

into the gym every single morning blah blah and anyways um you know so that happened so i'm trying to tell you this is all wrapping back to my therapist phone call and being out of medication so then in july last year my mom and sister came to the rescue and visited me and am i still recording jesus this is a two-hour podcast hold on sometimes i get nervous um they came to the rescue came and saw me and they were just like jacqueline you look like shit you need help and they screamed at me and we had this heart-to-heart like in a good way heart-to-heart conversation they're like you're not yourself this is like what's going on like Jacqueline you know and I knew it it's just like until you're until someone you love like your family someone close

to you like that calls you out I feel like it was also like calling me out of my bullshit like they knew I was better than how I was living and how I was allowing myself to just like sulk and like they knew I was built for greatness they knew I was dude literally literally okay okay okay okay like I believe life unfolds however it's gonna unfold like it's I don't know if it's pre-written or whatever for everyone but like that conversation and my sister specifically calling me out of my bullshit and saying what she said to me she was like Jacqueline you are she was just like she's like you're basically like she basically told me how great I was and how this doesn't matter like this isn't you like

you're not this isn't you this is you're supposed to be popping off right now what the fuck um and so yeah basically after they left I um actually my mom helped me a lot with like oh that's when I got my own health insurance yeah I remember that I got on my own health insurance on that when they came here so I started buying I started paying for my own health insurance I got a therapist and then my therapist got me on uh an SSRI so I take um medication for my uh mental health I don't know what's called depression like I don't really feel like I'm depressed anymore but I will say I 180'd the fuck out of my life over the last year like it's a we're approaching September and like that girl I was that little meek sad depressed

chocolate like me a year ago compared to now it's like what the fuck like you could change so much in a year if you're listening right now and you're not feeling yourself and you're feeling down you're feeling blah and you're feeling tired you're feeling depressed you're feeling like I I have nothing going on in my life. Like it's like, I know there's so many people that say this stuff, but like literally one day at a time, one step at a time, you can change your life in a year. And I really feel like I have like every little area of my life right now, other than my sleep and my vitality. What did I say in the beginning? Uh, we're firing on all cylinders. We're, we're up. We're, we're moving the needle. We're moving the needle forward. I feel like I've

got this wave of momentum right now that I've been riding for a while that feels really good and um I honestly think it's a combination of a lot of things but I was opposed to medication at first but I really think it helps it really helped me I don't produce serotonin I guess at the at a normal level like it it just doesn't like I don't know how to describe I don't really know I don't know how it works in detail that much, but basically it just bumps it up to a normal level so that I'm, uh, not cloudy and foggy and sad all day. I don't know. I'd like, I don't know. Uh, I don't know if that's too much information or necessary to tell strangers on the internet that I take medic, like I take an antidepressant, but I don't know. There's so many people that do.

And I've been on a, so yeah, I'm a phone call with my therapist. I was like, what the fuck? I, I needed a refill it's been five days no I wasn't like that but basically I was like that I was like so when I so this is the second no this has happened maybe three times basically I ran out of my prescription and I noticed my pharmacy didn't text me that that I had a um you know one ready and I was like oh god okay what the hell so I tried to like basically there was an issue contacting her and she like didn't have it set up on a reoccurring thing whatever so I didn't have it for five days and I will say that it when you stop something like that cold turkey like I don't know I I'm the type of person that gets withdrawal symptoms pretty bad like day five

I was just sad and on the verge of crying for no reason like that's not and I was just kind of like it got to the point where I was like I felt like I felt like the joker I felt like I was like going insane I was like because I knew in my head I was like I know like I knew it wasn't me being sad like I knew I wasn't this was this was like because of the withdrawals and not having the medication so I was like I was like laughing at myself about it like oh fuck me like oh this is of course like oh this is what happens when you don't take your meds like and I'm cracking and I broke down and I called someone and I was just like I'm embarrassed I'm a mess and da da da and it wasn't that dramatic I probably made it sound a lot more dramatic than it was but

that feeling of like feeling like you need to cry and you're sad and you don't know why is so annoying it's like is that a girl in her period basically I think that might might be a girl in period basically yeah similar similar thing some people on their periods that's just sometimes that happens to me on my period um i'm actually getting my period this week fuck tmi again i don't know we're getting comfy now it's the end of the episode um oh i wrote i need to buy a new couch again okay so i'm currently looking at my new couch i did a big couch series back in i think june when i had bought so i bought a couch that didn't fit through my door that i had to resell

uh because i got it off of the offer up app i didn't buy it from the i didn't it was a living spaces utopia couch that i found on on offer up so i couldn't like bring it back to living spaces I had to resell it so I told that story then I told the story of how I bought a second couch and one of the pieces because it's a sectional didn't fit through the door but the other pieces did and it's here now it's here you know it's in my living room it finally fit I did an entire like I had a whole series back in June about that anyways recently okay I'm currently looking at my couch and I've had it I fucking had it I've I give up I got a I have a golden retriever and I have a red couch this couch is red crushed it's like crushed velvet or sweat

I don't know it's like microfiber crushed microfiber red and he's a golden golden retriever and it's constantly full of hair and I vacuum it every single day and I've had it I've given up and I have my white extra duvet covers like spread around it I'm just like I don't want to see the hair so there's those duvet covers it's probably so full of hair right now and I but I can't see it it's white and that's why I wanted a white couch in the first place but the the red couch is kind of a vibe like my it's my place is very like old like it's like what's the vibe in here like kind of like your grandma's house but like also your grandpa's man cave or like den or like I don't know there's like a lot of dark wood leather I don't know it's super like vintage and

old um mixed with modern because I think the best combination in home decor is modern super modern pieces next to vintage pieces nothing looks better than that to me I don't like one thing I've ranted about a lot is how millennials love mid-century modern like everything mid-century modern i can't walk into and if i walk into an apartment a house whatever all mid-century modern i fucking i get so like i i like i don't know it it pisses me off i think it's those it's those little legs it's those little tiny legs on the bottom of every piece of furniture for what you know what i mean every little thing like your your couch your uh ottoman your side tables your uh everything what else is a

piece of furniture credenza everything's got these little or they're specific little tiny mid-century modern legs and those annoy me so anyways um i wrote that i need to buy a new couch which is kind of a joke because i'm probably not going to because it's just i've had it with hauling or hauling couches through the door but maybe in a year I'm probably gonna you know what I'll end up doing is move I'll move out of this place when yeah I don't know if I'm gonna stay but when I move I might sell it and just find something new um these are like so annoying these stupid details at the end here but like I wrote that I need to do laundry and that I have clothes in my car I need to donate like I cleaned out my closet a month ago and I have a huge

suitcase full of clothes to donate and every weekend I say Jacqueline okay one of your errands this weekend you're gonna go you're gonna donate the clothes you're gonna get this done and I never do it so that's a fun little life update I was holding on to so many old clothes and they're all Like, all of my, like, tight, short, skimpy, stringy, like, leathery, zippery, like, clippy, like, go-go dancer fucking, like, college outfits. Like, I just have all these, like, like, I'm not, it's weird. Like, I don't even want to wear that stuff anymore. like I I'm more into like I don't know what happens it's crazy how I know your brain cells start solidifying when you're 25 what do they say like your brain's fully developed at 25 and you

finally um uh you become like aware of who you are and you're whatever so I feel like that's happening to me or it has happened where now I'm just like or just called being or just growing up and maturing and wanting to wear more like modest clothing I don't know I just like to be fresh and like classy now and not like full of like like it used to be okay tits out like legs out arms out mid drift out what else could be out back out like every little like now it's like okay if I'm showing my tits i'm covering my legs or if i'm showing my legs i'm covering my or i'm showing my shoulders and you know like i'm balancing it out more and i feel like it looks a lot more polished and classy and elevated and sophisticated and like i don't know

leave something to the imagination bitches okay you know what i mean like what are we doing here i don't like the oh my god these fashion trends right now especially the y2k shit if you're 30 wearing that stuff what i mean live your life do whatever you want no judgment but like judgment leave that for the for the gen zers like some of these outfits i'm seeing in greece i'm just like because everyone's in greece what the fuck are you wearing like the it's the it's how everything's cut it's like cut like it's tacky the tacky that's what it so tacky fashion tacky is the new trend it's weird it's so weird especially like the thongs hanging out of your sweatpants thing that people are doing now um yeah it's like the

Paris Hilton kind of aesthetic early 2000s it'll you know have its time it'll probably be away in year but anyways um I think that's it should I tell you what I got from my dude I could I could literally podcast now I feel so comfortable on the microphone it's been like two hours I could podcast all night um should I tell you what I got from my Amazon grocery delivery anything fun I got um guys I'm addicted to these bagel these bagels bacon egg cheese bagels with avocado oh my god I would see them sometimes like I would see people post them on Instagram and I'm like oh that sounds so good and I never buy the ingredients I never make them I realize like I'm so stuck in my old ways with eating like I was like oh my early 20s was just like

I was like on a constant diet or like constant clean eating journey where I was like always like thinking about how like I was just like protein vegetables like minimal sugar and like no dairy no gluten like I was just constantly in that phase of like eating where I would never buy fun foods because I was always like trying to like snatch for going out that weekend or like going on a vacation and going to Vegas or like whatever on I was gonna be in a bikini in a week or two so I was like you know I was it was like always like that food stuff was always on my mind like that so annoying and now it's like oh shit like I haven't even been eating good I haven't been I haven't even been like I haven't zero variety but I still like find myself at the

grocery store like buying that like like what was that Walden Farms bullshit I used to buy the dressings that literally say zero calories like how is that even possible like I don't buy that any like obviously I don't but I see it and I'm like why the fuck did I do that I don't know so I I like Pinterest though for inspiration for recipes because sometimes I'm like what's good out there what's new what's trendy and um uh oh by the way I'm gonna shout out one of my favorite Philadelphia Philadelphia food bloggers her name's Erin and she's Erin lives Erin lives whole on Instagram and she also has a golden retriever named Coco who's like same age as Jimmy just about she's a little older so I love following her and her fiance Tom

she's posting on stories all day long but I love the type of food she makes so like whenever I'm so either I either go on Pinterest or I look at her page for recipe ideas um yeah I don't know I'm just like I feel like I'm I'm like in a rut I'm just like constantly buying like the same old boring food and I forget like bacon egg and cheese bagels exist and I can make them I just have to buy the ingredients like I can't tell you the last time I had like sliced cheddar in a packet I think the last time I bought like like I used to buy like raw cheese organic unpatched like raw cheese because some this dude named Crosby on Instagram would like influence me all about he's cool he like makes cookies and shit like healthy food like healthy

cookies but I remember one time he was like educating me on a story well his audience on a story all about how like drinking raw milk and raw kefir and raw eating raw uh cheese is good and that got implanted in my brain and so now like whenever I buy cheese or in the past or like I don't know not really in the not recently but I would like buy that instead of just cheddar sliced from fucking sargento guys I don't know how to end the episode what else can I talk about I got a task I have a task to do this week I'm currently looking at my junk drawer in front of me at my desk I got it I have like one two I have four junk drawers to clean out and it's such a bitch of a project because there's so many little things you have to organize and like make look

good because I can't stand this I can't stand a drawer that's just everything thrown in I have to get little spacers and containers and organize it all it's so much more satisfying to see a drawer like that so yeah that's a project for this week and um poor bubba he's laying down asleep right now how's your skin bud he's so fucking cute oh my god i love my dog guys if you're sad get a dog well that's not why i got him like i was in a good place when i got him um i could not have if i got him at the beginning of covid maybe he would have helped me with my mental health and depression but uh I don't even like saying that like my depression my like I don't identify as like I don't even like that stuff like um I used to work for a company and I remember one of the

sayings I've never talked about this company or like mentioned the names like I don't say the name of it but one of the sayings we would say is like your diagnosis is not your identity yeah I think I had to like make a I had to like photoshop a quote for Instagram that said that yeah your your diagnosis is not your identity so like just there when I said my depression just feels like I'm attaching that to who I am I don't like that it's not me just something I had and like dealt with in the past just like a little thing it's not like who I am but I noticed like now it's, like, everyone is wrapped up in their diagnosis, and they're sharing that with their friends all over social media, and it's, like, that becomes who they, like, that's, it's, like,

how they want people to know them, like, their diagnosis is, like, how they want people to know them, they get, like, high off that sympathy shit, I guess, or attention, like, oh, I feel bad for you, oh, dude, everyone out there is babysitting other people's oppression, it really pisses me off like i don't know it's like people that it so like any issue it's like okay whatever issue's going on the people struggling with the issue are the last ones to mention the issue it's like the other people that it doesn't apply to go oh it looks like these people are oppressed we should take care of them we should change all these laws we should change all these things for them because they need they they don't like it's like people from the outside put it on them and

tell them hey you're being oppressed and like we don't like like you know what I mean it's weird it's like babysitting and they don't have the firsthand life experience themselves they just cherry pick it around them and go oh like these poor people start a fucking movement for them it's so weird like I could never speak on it's like a white person speaking on racism like what the like or black lives matter it's like I don't know it's just weird um all right I love podcasting amen thank you for hanging out tonight today whenever you're listening I hope you have a great week I'll be here next Sunday I'm here every Sunday now it's my new thing make sure to go ahead and hit that subscribe button on the Apple podcast app or

follow me on Spotify wherever you're listening I'm assuming it's one of those two and not to be not to be like forceful and aggressive right now but like I'm not even gonna say please just go leave a review on the Apple podcast app just go down to the bottom of this episode and click I mean I'm like yelling at you this is your homework one through five stars one star if you hated it five stars if you loved it whatever you can even write something but go leave a review that's what please okay I'll say please it would help me out it helps other people find out about the show um I don't know I did say a year ago at some point I'm gonna take this this podcasting thing seriously and try hard and I gotta do a call to action there at the end you know what I mean I

got to do it I got it feels weird patreon. here I got another one patreon.com slash tjms if you want to subscribe to my patreon and get exclusive content that no one else sees it's like a I don't know if you guys know what patreon is it's a subscription it's my subscription service it's like the only fans for podcasters you can I don't know check out like I post stuff there that's like, I post like videos of me doing stuff in my apartment. I post picture, like old pictures and things that back up what I talk about on the podcast. I post just random stuff. Everyone gets a shout out on there when you join. Um, I used to mention people at the end of the show. I might start doing that again. Like I'll shout your name out. There's all these perks, um, over on

patreon.com slash TJMS. Um, okay. I think that's it. Leave a review, subscribe to my Patreon, follow me on Instagram, blah, blah, blah. Um, I hope you have a great week. Stay safe out there. If you're in Afghanistan, stay fucking stay safe out there. Oh my God. Fuck. I didn't end up talking about that at the end, like I mentioned, but Jesus fucking keep those people safe amen it's heartbreaking like I'll talk about it next week I know I will yeah for sure I'll elaborate a lot more but yeah if you're listening I love you I hope you have a great week I hope you're happy I hope you're healthy I say this I mess that up I hope you're happy

I hope you're healthy and I hope you love yourself do I say it like that no I don't know I used to say the same thing at the end every single time hope you're happy healthy hope your family's good hope the fam's good I can't on the episode I don't know how to end a podcast uh thank you for being here have a great week and I'll talk to you next Sunday okay bye