The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 295- Pumpkin Spice Cockroaches

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS 

Hey guys, it's Jacqueline. This is episode 295. Welcome back to the show. okay i'm gonna set the scene real quick before i start the show I've got two cowboys operating leaf blowers outside my apartment and also a red Ferrari parked and the guy in it's revving the engine for no fucking reason I already swore um let's try not to do that today hi it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show this is not the time to be loud in my neighborhood and people are being loud. What's this episode 295? I got to recap my week. That's what I do now. It's a Sunday episode. It's a once a week show now. So I've got a lot to update, including a cockroach, a surveillance camera, fried chicken, castration, and pumpkin spice

products. That's what we're going to cover today. If you're new and you're just joining me, hi, I'm Jacqueline. I'm a former daily podcast host. This show used to be seven days a week up until June and now it's a once a week show like I already said so please hit that subscribe button and join me every week to just hang out and listen to me talk about my life and what's going on and what's going on in the world etc etc you guys all listen to podcasts this is everyone's doing the same thing everyone's like kicking back with their boys shooting the shit on a microphone talking about whatever they want living free um it's the best it's it's the best hobby to have right now it feels it's so therapeutic to talk on a microphone and I love it and that's why I'm here

this is now my hobby this is my passion um I love I love doing this so yeah hit that subscribe button and let's get into it so first thing I'm going to talk about today was my uh, experience was my, uh, fuck. First thing I'm going to talk about today is what I witnessed in my bathroom. How do I just, guys, I don't know how to tell this story. Let's just say I woke up groggy as shit. Okay. Had a little nightcap last night, had a little drinky drink after a baseball game I went to the Padres Phillies game last night I woke up groggy and I was like you know waltzing to my bathroom and the feeling I got in my body

when I entered my bathroom was someone is in here someone is behind my shower curtain I am getting murdered there is a weird energy there was also some weird splattery bloody shit on my toilet seat and like on the top of the toilet that I noticed like I saw that through the crack of the door as I walked in I'm like what the fuck I didn't do that what just got killed in here what's who's in the shower like literally I had this freak out moment and I ripped the shower curtain away and almost felt like something it sounded like something was breathing too. Like a, like in the bathroom. Okay. I have a small bathroom. I live in a small apartment here in the city in San Diego. It's a one bedroom apartment. My bathroom is like,

you walk in and if you have broad shoulders, you're fucked. Like you can basically turn in a circle. You walk in, you turn in a circle to sit on the toilet or you turn in a circle to get into the standing shower I don't I don't have a tub which is really annoying so yeah it's a small space um Jesus so let me keep going I walk into the bathroom I hear breathing I see blood splattered all over the toilet I'm getting murdered is what I'm thinking in my head and yeah the energy was like death like something was dying or something had been killed how many times can I say the same thing over and over again? I'm trying to tell a story. I don't know if I'm, guys, I'm kind of pissed right now. Let me just segue or put this in here and insert this

right here. I'm kind of pissed I don't have a good beverage to drink while I podcast today. Normally I have a Pomplamoose LaCroix, a Key Lime LaCroix, a Grapefruit LaCroix, something sparkly, something carbonated. It's either that or an iced coffee. Sometimes I'm drinking wine. If it's a nighttime show, it's not a nighttime show. It's a midday show right now. I'm drinking water out of my Vitamix blender cup, which is just not it. It's lukewarm room temperature excuse me it's room temperature water in my Vitamix blender cup and it's just it's it's pissing me off I want to I don't know I want to take a sip of something sweet I want to take a sip of something carbonated and I don't have it today I literally have no uh I have no I don't

have any fun beverages and beverages in my refrigerator right now I really need to go grocery shopping. So anyways, that's kind of pissed me off. So yeah, what's in the bathroom? Jacqueline, hurry up. What's going on in the bathroom? Who died? What, what, what was the blood? What was the splattered stuff all over the toilet? Well, this is what it was. Okay. I walk in the bathroom. I see this stuff. Okay. I ripped the shower curtain away. then to my left where the toilet is I look down there's a there's another creature in there with me okay and this fucking thing was a cockroach okay this big cockroach was hanging on for dear life in the toilet bowl wasn't trying I knew it wasn't

trying to go for a swim that morning it got it somehow it felt found its way it fell in there it's holding on for dear life on the side of the toilet bowl it looked like it had some complications before it jumped in that's what all that blood splatter stuff was that's what all that gooey like it looked like it was it almost okay do these things travel in packs okay yeah do cockroaches travel in packs it's as if another cockroach fucked it up and like um shoot it shoot it or bit it or i don't know how they fight it's like there was a little cockroach fight on the top top of my toilet and that's what all the guts and the blood was and then uh the cockroach that got beat up fell into the toilet and it was holding on for dear life

because its body was kind of mangled so yeah i'm like i'm so confused something hurt it something mutilated this cockroach and i i'm paranoid i'm like guys send me a dm do cockroaches travel in packs. Should I Google this right now? Jamie, where's the, I need a Jamie. I'm hiring staff in five years. I'm looking for my, uh, the Jamie to my Joe. I need someone to Google shit for me while I'm podcasting. Do cockroaches travel in packs? Cockroaches are social insects that usually live in groups, motherfucker. cockroaches emit pheromones that leave chemical odors in their feces and on their live bodies why does it say live bodies like okay uh these pheromones

serve as means of communication for their for for the insects the odor of the pheromones cause the roaches to cluster together in a harborage area do not know what harborage means word of the day is harborage now we're googling harborage definition because dude if you know the definition of harborage like oh it's like a safe place a shelter a harbor that seems like it's a pretty intuitive word i could have gotten and i didn't immediately but harborage is a shelter a harbor cockroaches are social insects that usually live in groups so yeah they travel in packs to answer my question to myself do cockroaches travel in packs

is there another cockroach potentially uh slithering around my bathroom right now probably yes um where's my tab podcast notes there's my tab sorry um so yeah what did I do I freaked out I screamed I did a little gasp a little early morning gasp um like you know it's bad you know you're it's like seeing a spider usually when I see a spider I just tense up but a cockroach I'm making noise I'm verbally going, I can't scream on there. I don't want to do it how I did it, but like I made a noise. I was scared. I was so scared. So I was like, do I shut the, do I shut the toilet lid? Like how do I handle this? So I like walked out. I didn't think it was going to crawl out and get me. I like, I knew these

things don't, this didn't, I don't think they have wings. They don't like those other bugs, like the June bugs or whatever here in Southern California. What are those things called? Erraticas or erraticas or there's some like Seneca, it's like a grasshopper, but it's round. What are these flying giant bugs? They're like, I think it's a June bug. Sadicas, sadas, sadicas. Someone send me a DM. What are those big, why do I keep saying send me a DM? I got to do a call to action at some point in the podcast. You got to interact with my audience. I got to ask you guys to do things like subscribe and DM me, leave a review on the podcast app. I just feel like one of those people today. It's like, interact with me.

It's like, we're at the point now with the internet, I noticed on YouTube, that everyone's got the same script. Everyone's saying the same thing. And it doesn't seem weird anymore. Like to get on a YouTube video and say, like within the first 30 seconds, they were like the educators, like the, what are the content educators? What are these people called? Like the gurus are like, got to do a call to action in the first 30 seconds. So literally every YouTube video you watch now, like I play a video for Jimmy, my puppy, my golden retriever puppy. that's just birds squirrels trees ducks ponds like nature scenery i play that for him for it's like an eight hour video on youtube but the guy in the beginning of it it's like not even about him and

his um this whole video has nothing to do this guy but he sits on the beginning of the episode jesus christ he sits on the beginning of the youtube video and he's like you know hi thanks for being here today to watch my nature video please hit that subscribe button and like the video if you like it's just like everyone does that now and it's not weird so anyways it's like why am I even mentioning this send me a dm if you know what that june bug is is that what I was oh yeah that's what I was saying so I went to the kitchen I grabbed my paradise mango lysol spray I got it CVS last week when I picked up my prescription of fungus medication for a toenail or 10. I have, I went to the podiatrist. Have I mentioned this before? I'm, I shouldn't say this.

I'm taking medication for fungus and athlete's foot. And as a woman who loves, uh, I don't love feet. What am I saying? It takes pride in my toenails and my feet is fucking sucks. it sucks to admit this publicly but you know what as a former swimmer I was in locker rooms my whole life I was an athlete I still am an athlete I guess I just like have some issues with my toenails here and there and it's time it's time to take that medication that's gonna uh destroy my liver and get rid of it for good so last week this is guys I didn't mean to this is this is the issue with me podcasting sometimes I didn't need to volunteer volunteer that that unnecessary personal information I didn't need to insert it into the story about the cockroach in my toilet

but for whatever reason I felt the need to say it because I was trying to describe like where I got my Lysol spray for okay anyways my Mango Paradise Lysol spray was in the kitchen And I went and grabbed it, back to the story, went into the bathroom, and I had a moment and I thought, okay, do I spray the cockroach with Lysol spray and then flush it, or do I just flush it? Because I was worried if I didn't spray it first, it would come back to life, you know what I mean like I needed to it's so fucked up guys one time I'll never forget this 90% of the time I'm saving life I'm saving life inside my house my apartment wherever I'm at if I see a

spider if I see a bug like I'm not smashing it I'm not um mutilating it or gassing it out with Lysol spray I'm putting it under a glass a water a water glass and I'm escorting it outside onto a nice bush for it to live a long life. Okay. So there was a time in like sixth grade, I was in my purple bedroom back at my mom's house in Washington. And I'll never forget this. I was in my bedroom, on my bed, and there's a big ass hobo spider, like a big, fuzzy, big body, long leg giant spider I mean these in the fall like around pumpkin season around which we're going to talk about today we're going to talk about pumpkin spice products and gourd season uh it's fall bitches it's coming it's upon us it's coming soon it's coming soon um yeah but in

in the northwest in Washington like the spiders that come out during that time are so creepy and so huge but one of these things was on my bed and my first instinct for whatever reason I had I had a Purell I had hand sanitizer in my bedroom my first instinct was to take I mean these are the kind of spiders you got to go into hand-to-hand combat with you're not you can't take first of all you can't leave the room to get a water glass to cover it and like escort outside escorted outside to a bush you can't do that with these things they move too fast they're too they're they're too smart and they're too they're gonna run and hide and then you're gonna not be able to go near you're gonna have to burn your house down at that point once

you lose sight of these things you're gonna have to burn your house down so my first instinct was to grab my pRL and to cover the spider I didn't even squirt it on I opened the I unscrewed the cap of the hand sanitizer and I just dumped it on the spider and I watched that thing shrivel up it shriveled its body just convulsed turned into a little brown ball and it died okay that's probably the worst murder I've ever uh performed on a spider and I still remember it and I felt really bad after but that's the situation those spiders like I said you can't just like leave the room. You got to keep your eyes locked on them. You got to like punch them and shit. You got to like fuck them up. You got to like let you, I tweeted something one time that I thought was

so clever. I think now that we're talking, I used to tweet, I deleted my Twitter. I'm like, you know, when they banned Trump, I was like, fuck this. Um, not because of Trump. It's about the principle. It's about censorship. Okay. That's why I got off. That's literally why I stopped using Twitter when they banned Trump, I was like, this is not good. But I remember, I remember a tweet I tweeted one time that was like, I was such a jackass back in the day with my tweets. I said, uh, uh, I just punched a spider off my chair. If anyone's looking for a bodyguard. like just the visual of punching a spider on the chair. I don't know. So yeah, back to the cockroach, Jesus Christ. So I decided I wasn't going to spray at first. I was going to take a

chance and flush it. Its body was already, it was, it was already bleeding. It was already bleeding out from, um, I really wish, I really wish I knew how it, I kind of wish I witnessed that fight I feel like it was another cockroach that did that to it because what else would what else in the early morning because this obviously happened throughout the night what else would have hurt a cockroach and like made its body like its guts were out of its body I feel like that had to be another cockroach but I wish I would have been able to witness this kind of so anyways let me just finish the story? I got to tell you guys about my dog surgery. I'm going to tell you guys about a lot of stuff. Um, and fried chicken, Jesus. Um, this, this is going to be a fun episode. I can

already tell this story's dragging out a little too long. Let me finish it. So I quietly shut the lid. I looked at it one last, I did take a picture of it. I took a picture of it too. Um, before I quietly shut the lid and I flushed it my toilet did that thing I was so fucking I was so like pissed and just like nervous and I'm like oh my god this thing's gonna crawl out now my toilet did the thing where it didn't like flush completely it just like made that noise like it's about to flush so then I had to like leave the room for two minutes let the both like let it fill back up and then go back and like actually flush it and then after that after I like it actually went down I checked the bowl it was empty I looked underneath like every nook and

cranny like this thing probably crawled up and like kept holding on no the thing was down it's in the sewer it's going out to the ocean he's gone she's gone it's gone um and then I took that that mango paradise lysol spray and I covered my bathroom in it and I let it sit now this thing is uh it says it kills COVID it's like the new thing on the disinfectant spray bottles it's like this proven to kill COVID-19 99.9% effective killing COVID-19 okay um but yeah I like put it all over the toilet like a stupid amount like I was going a little I was I was so heavy-handed with that Lysol spray and yeah I ended up like letting it sit and then I went back I wiped my whole bathroom down that's how I started my morning my retainer was still in okay my bun

was being annoying the whole morning while I was doing this this took literally like I don't know 10 minutes but like it felt like a lifetime my bun my hair from sleeping it was like sloping to the side of my head and it was just like it kind of got getting in my eyes too everything was annoying retainer in hair messed up bad breath uh groggy from drinking the night before I had like my nightgown on and like one tit it was like hanging out to the side the other one was hanging out too it's just like it was a mess I don't know if I needed to include that but I don't like in the morning like the first thing I do is I'm ripping that retainer out I'm brushing my teeth I'm freshening up tightening my bun up and making it cute again I'm like putting on a

workout outfit to walk my dog it's quick it's anyways you guys don't need to know my morning routine. Like, I don't need to talk about that right now, but like, I just felt, I was just like frustrated. Okay. But it's gone. And that feeling though, that feeling walking into the bathroom was so creepy. And I swear to God, I think it was all in my head. Like that breathing noise was all in my head, but it, it's almost like I saw the blood and the gut splatter on the top of the toilet and my my brain just thought something was murdered in here it's something still alive something's struggling and it was the cockroach anyways so there's that that's the that's a little fun intro for you um next up on the list today um is castration my dog was castrated

on Wednesday I have a golden retriever puppy he's nine months old his name is Jimmy he's a man okay and part of being a man when you're a dog or not all dogs but castration is part of their life journey at some point and I scheduled scheduled him for surgery he is now he doesn't have balls anymore he does okay the thing is after the surgery I had to like inspect the incision three times a day and I was like wait a minute why did they leave the ball sack like what is the purpose of that and I haven't looked it up or googled it I didn't the vet didn't say anything about that like I wasn't asking questions there like I probably should have

but it's like what's the purpose of that and does it just shrivel up and go away like I don't understand like there's this floppy piece of skin now between his legs that I wasn't expecting to see after surgery. I was expecting nothing to be there anyways, but um, let me just explain how it all went real quick. I mean, I guess it's pretty straightforward. Like you take your dog to the vet, you drop them off. They can't eat the night before. Well, they, well, they can't eat past midnight, which is not a problem. Like he's already asleep at that point. Um, you drop them off, they check all his vitals, make sure he's all good they um oh I showed up for surgery right and they're like do you does

he need a pedicure does he want to get do you want him to get washed do you want him to get chipped do you want like they're adding all these things on so I decided that oh anal what's excretion when they like squeeze the glands and then this stuff squirts out um I think I watched that on the Discovery Channel back in the day, when, like, Mike Rowe did the Dirty Jobs show, is it Mike Lowe, Rob Lowe, Mike Lowe, Mike, anyways, the Deadliest, no, Deadliest Catch, Jesus, the Dirty Jobs guy, I think he went to some, like, groomer place, and the Dirty Job was, like, him squeezing the glands of dogs, the ass glands, and anyways, so they're asking me all these questions like things I wanted to add on while he was put under and so we decided on a

pedicure and I got him chipped so that's all very exciting um but yeah it was pretty quick I was told like I dropped him off early in the morning and they're like oh you should be uh you can expect to get a call around six tonight to pick him up we'll keep him here and we'll watch him all day blah blah well I picked him up at like two so it went a lot faster than I expected how are you doing oh my god I'm getting out of breath this is like a lot of this is a big mouthful like like podcasting I mean I used to do it every day and maybe I should drink some water I don't know yeah how's life I mean holy shit it's almost 2022 it's almost 2022 it's past the half half

point of the year COVID officially is like it's we're in a year and a half so weird I'm sick of talking about I'm sick of hearing about it but a year and a half you know what I mean it's like whoa it's like 2021 is like 2020 just it's like not as dramatic I guess like not as unknown and uncertain like now it's just like we there's like a path to it's as if okay this is what's okay do I want to change the subject right now or like get on a tangent it's appearing like they're trying to vaccinate covid out of off like vaccinate us vaccinate the covid out of the the society like that's the solution and it's just like not it it's not working what's with all these breakthrough breakthrough cases and like

oh my god it's just not it's not what I thought I don't think it's what we all thought it's like yeah the vaccine is working it's just like also not working and there's just all these other things happening with the variants there's like endless COVID news still I don't know but yeah I hope you're having a great year um hope you're up you know what I mean mostly mostly mentally because like you might not be where you're at where you want to be in life like you might not be you know living your dream life right now but if you're mentally good if you're waking up every day happy and and healthy and you know with the right mindset I think that that's where you want to that that's ideal like that's right but that's where you want to be and that's where

I hope you are and um I don't know it's kind of where I'm at I'm like yeah I'm still grinding I'm still trying to like grow and like expand and build my life you know what I mean like I'm not I'm like approach I'm like getting up in my 20s right now I'm like I'm in the phase of building and growing and expanding and learning and and but I wake up and I'm not like I feel like there isn't really an end result but like where I want to be in the future I'm not there yet but I'm waking up positive every day happy I like my little life I like my little daily routine especially that you know I have a dog now it's like the best anyways so yeah back to the story um oh okay yeah yeah now I remember okay um surgery Jimmy castration so I get a call before he's

put under from the vet she's describing what they're gonna do she's like making sure that I know that he's going to be okay. So I liked that little complimentary phone call thing or that check-in phone call that felt nice. Um, I was kind of nervous. Like I feel like not, I was, I don't know. I just, I just know like how these things go. It's such a routine surgery. They do so many times. It's like not, it's quick to like, I asked her like, how long is surgery? She's like, it's going to take, take like less than 15 minutes. So anyways, um, yeah. And then they called me after and told me, you know, how it went. So everything was fine. He was recovering well, blah, blah. So anyways, let me get to the part where I pick him up. Um, I show up to the

vet. It's like at like two and I don't wait like five minutes for him to come out. And let me just say that when he came out the level I think it was from the propofol they gave him like he's got a lot of energy as it is but post-surgery he was jumping around hopping around that veterinary veterinary veterinary veterinary clinic he's hopping around that vet clinic like I have never seen him hop around before like as if he wasn't just sedated and cut open and I'm like wait I was so confused like he was jumping up on me jumping up all over the people around the waiting area and he's got this giant satellite around his fucking head and I was like wait a minute that looks a little too big for his body now they put this so the cone obviously gets put on after

surgery so that he doesn't you know chew at the incision and it was so big I was like wait why is it so big and they're like he's got a thick neck and the little one didn't fit on him so we had to put the big one on him. So anyways, but he has got this giant, he looks like, um, yeah, like a, just a ridiculous cone headed goofball. And he's jumping around everywhere. And I'm like, I knew he had pain meds on board, but it was like, not, I wasn't expecting that. I was just like, wait, aren't you supposed to be like groggy, tired, lethargic, you know, in pain, maybe, I don't know but they said the vet was like in my 15 years of doing this performing the surgery performing surgery on animals I have never seen a dog this hyper after surgery

and they were gonna send me home with like extra meds just to sedate him and calm him down and I'm like he'll be fine he'll just chill out and you know we ended up not doing that but it was funny And then also they told me a cute story. They're like, when Jimmy was like after surgery and like before surgery in the area where they keep the dogs, apparently he was kind of whimpering and like concerned looking and being vocal and kind of loud at the other dogs that looked sad and the dogs that look, you know, because a lot of dogs go in there and they're a mess and they're really, really sick and stuff. apparently he was showing empathy and um he was he looked concerned for their well-being and i thought that was the cutest story i could just pick oh because you know what the the night before for whatever reason i remember this happened the night before i played the aspca commercial the sarah mclaughlin uh aspca commercial on tv for him like i wanted to see how he would react to seeing dogs and cats like sad like you know that commercial the in the arms of the angel

i'm not gonna sing it fly away from here he's asleep right now next to me while i'm podcasting are you sleepy you i'm being so first of all singing voice cringe annoying can't stand that I just did that. Secondly, the voice I just made at him. Okay. I delete that. Just fast forward through that part. You didn't hear that. Um, but yeah, I played the commercial for him like the night before and I watched his reaction to it the whole time. Like I wasn't watching the TV. I was watching his face and he was, he knows like dogs, animals are so intuitive like that. They have to like, they know, especially, um, when people are hurt and when people are suffering, like they know they can tell and I could only imagine what he looked like in that like in the waiting area with

the other dogs and I don't know that was a cute story so I took him home um he did like once he got home he started getting tired looking and his face he looks so high just like his eyes look so glossy and and different than I than I was used to that I was then I then this is this is a problem I'm malfunctioning let me take a breather yeah he was he was kind of out of it he chilled the rest of the day and I immediately took that cone off and started massaging his neck I was like this is ridiculous I also took scissors to it and I like cut a chunk of it off so it wouldn't be so big and yeah basically let me wrap up the story um they did a really good job with the stitches and stuff like nothing looked weird or inflamed or like you know he looked fine like

I'm getting kind of tired guys I need a coffee um but anyways okay so the day went on I don't really know what happened I probably worked and just like hung out with him and then that night he wanted to come into my bedroom and lay next to my bed and he got stuck he got stuck in the hallway he walked in the hall he walked in the hallway and his cone was so big and so obnoxious that like I have this this I have this pirate chest thing it's like a brown wooden chest with a like a terracotta pot and a plant on top in my hallway that's kind of like a little focal point thing a little decoration thing and he got like stuck in between that and the wall with his cone and I had it I lost I'm like this looks I can't like I can't witness this for the

next 14 days because you're supposed to leave the cone on for 10 to 14 days and I'm like this is torture so I got my little thinking cap on put on my little thinking cap I did a little google search and I typed in um like cone alternative for dogs because I'm sure there's something out there that's an alternative for this torture device. And I ended up on Amazon and I saw that they basically make a foam donut ring to go around their head. That's cushy. And that, yeah, that basically replaces the cone. So I went into my hoisery, hosery drawer. Is that what it's called? Hosery? I pulled out I had a moment I made eye contact with my favorite pair of black tights I had a moment of like what's the word like oh I gotta say I like I knew I had to sacrifice

these for the good cause I was about to do for my dog um but I didn't want to I was like oh shit I'm gonna cut these up and I'm really kind of sad about it but I grabbed the tights I went into my I have this cupboard like this pantry what like what's it called towel closet thing in my hallway I opened that bitch up I grabbed a spare pillow I had I went to my kitchen I yanked out a pair of scissors started cutting things up started stuffing the tights I got my sewing needle out and thread I was like making this contraption for him that I saw on Amazon on like the donut thing for him to replace the cone and it was a success he slept like a baby that night like I saw him lay down in my room with the cushy thing on and he looked so comfortable

I almost want to like give it to him at night when he sleeps because it turns it's like a it's like a neck pillow when you're on a plane it's like a little neck support so yeah I converted him to the donut, the cushy donut thing pretty quickly. I couldn't, I couldn't tolerate that cone. I was like, this is sad. And for what, like, honestly, I removed the cone and the donut after like three days, which you're not supposed to do, right? You're not, you're supposed to leave it on. And I was watching him. I was, you know, uh, what's it called? Chaperoning him. and he wasn't messing with his incision he was fine so I don't know I I like it's what day six now and his stitches are like super healed everything looks really good I'm I'm pretty

impressed by this whole thing like through and through like what the vet did there like they there's the the way they like called me and like reassured me and all that stuff yeah but he's good um I gotta do my next topic Jesus is that over oh so one thing I got speaking of my dog and then I'll wrap up the surgery segment I got a surveillance camera like a security camera for my apartment so then I can if I leave I can watch him and that's been super entertaining I can like see what he does when I leave the house and the other day I was on um I was out eating dinner and uh fried chicken we'll get into that and there's a feature on the surveillance camera where you can talk and it'll make noise it's a amazon blink oh my god blink

it's an amazon blink camera and there's a feature on it that you can um that allows you to talk through the camera so I noticed while I was at dinner that he was he didn't have the this was like okay bad bad dog parent bad uh dog mom I didn't put the cone on him wore the donut when I left. I left him, you know, as is just a dog in the apartment. And I noticed him licking his crotch on camera when I checked. And so I did a little like, Hey, over the, over the loudspeaker, a little, Hey, no stop. And it freaked him out. He looked up and he's like, Oh my God, what's this robot in my house? What's talking to me? Why is my mom's voice coming from the ceiling? And he stopped. And you know, again, it's like day six, it looks almost fully healed.

like he's fine. It all worked out. Moving on. Um, do I want to go to a sad topic or do I want to go to a random topic? I don't know. I lost a high school friend. I'll just put this in real quick. Um, last week, uh, this is someone I had seen daily and she was a year older than me, but, uh, she died at 28 from a, I think it was a blood clot in the heart. Yeah. And I feel like for my, every year in my hometown, it seems like I check Facebook or I get a text message and someone, someone like pretty close to me, not like a close, close. This, she wasn't like a best friend. She's someone that I had classes. I was a yearbook editor or in yearbook class and she was in that class every single day with me so I had I was around

her all the time and anyways it just seems like there's so many deaths from my hometown it's like every year someone new that's young dies and it and usually you know I get a lump in my throat I get kind of a pit my stomach I get pretty upset and and but when I got the news that she died I literally I saw her I saw her smile I heard her laugh and I and I lost it I fucking lost it and then I went to her Facebook I don't like this was just like kind of how I coped with the whole thing and I people are posting and I was reading the posts they're you know writing to her and then I went to her pictures and I found pictures of me in her pictures from like way long ago and it's like oh my god it's just so weird like yeah and and I don't know you like you

I don't know I just feel like out of all the people that I've heard die from my hometown and my high school and stuff I think this was the hearing about her death was the hardest one so far and I was like a yeah I just and even like my close friend like I had friends that were her best friend so like I had all these like she was everywhere she was like I remember her younger brother had a crush on me and we would like joke about it and stuff and I don't know like I don't know but yeah that was part of my week losing a friend from high school, tragically. Again, she was 28 and just died like that. And yep. So I had that to kind of deal with. It's like, oh, wow. Okay. I

just said that in like the worst way. I had to deal with that as if it was putting me out. Honestly, it's like just part of life and I I accept death as a part of life and I've you know I think we've all lost loved ones we've all lost friends we've all had that phone call or that text message or that we've seen that Facebook post and we've all been there and it's just I don't know how else to say other than it just sucks and it makes you want to honestly these are the moments like when I hear about people dying and stuff they it just makes me want to fucking send it and just like live my life big bold and beautiful to the fullest every single day live my dreams do all my passions like try new things like because yeah it could end just like that

so I don't know I just want to tell you guys about that I guess because it it really affected me and made me sad this week and um um yeah I just you know praying for her family and I can't even imagine like it's literally like she was in my sister's class it's like if my sister just died um another note on here this is like a random little segue before I tell you guys about I want to lighten things up talk about gourd season bitches and pumpkin spice season but um I like I had like this weird green smoothie week last week like every single morning I drank a green smoothie and I feel like telling you guys the recipe because it's really good and it's kind of

random and I think I got this from Kenzie Burke like two years ago when she was popping off with her um food combining thing that everyone got sucked into like I got sucked into that I was eating like it was like every morning you uh so you eat fruit first before noon you only eat fruit and then she had this smoothie recipe so you'd like wake up and then you'd put down some blueberries and strawberries or something then at like mid-morning you'd drink a green smoothie the specific it's called like the tropical bub and then at like lunchtime she had this like avocado toast thing she would make or I don't know it was like this whole thing right and it's like a couple years ago but I still remember the recipe so last week I was drinking it every day and want to share

it with you because it's zesty. It's got ginger in it. It makes you feel awake. And I feel like it's a good replacement for bacon and eggs. If that's kind of your morning thing. Like if you have my, my breakfast are usually that like more high protein, like, you know, animal products, um, avocado eggs, that kind of situation. So yeah, it's, let me just tell you the recipe. it's, uh, oh my God, I need to drink water. It's the base though. Liquid is coconut water. Uh, so it's coconut water, spirulina, spinach, half a banana, like a half of a cucumber chopped up. I peeled mine first. Um, I added hemp seeds. You don't have to, and cinnamon, you don't have do and pineapple do like a little pineapple I think she does mangoes in hers I'm forgetting

something I think that's it oh and ginger oh my god ginger is like the most important part I feel like the combination of ginger pineapple and spirulina is what makes it so like invigorating like you feel good like as you're drinking it you're like I feel good so anyways that's what I drank all last week and it's it's kind of new for me like I I feel like I used to be such a health nut as far as getting in my vegetables and greens like every single morning and it's just not on the top of the brain like it used to be anymore and I feel like I'm still I feel good and healthy and everything but like that little green smoothie week I had made me realize that maybe I should be doing this more often

And, um, I dunno, I got on, I got on a little kick there and I might, I have to like buy ingredients for this week again. And it's kind of a bitch to have to like, I might chop up everything first. So it makes it more, so it's more convenient in the morning, but yeah, there's a little recipe, uh, recipe of the week for you guys. It's a fucking smoothie. It's not that serious, but like, I guess what I'm saying is put ginger in your smoothie. It's really good.

I got a couple more segments here I went to a Padres game had a little date night I could tell you guys about but I also want to talk about gourd season you're like Jacqueline what the fuck is gourd season I'm talking about gourds

shapely gourds that grow in the fall that are bumpy they have like pimples on them there's obviously it's pumpkin spice season there's pumpkins growing there's you know pumpkin everything going on right now but like gourds like when I was a kid growing up my mom had a garden and every fall we would have this gourd picking session and I just I see in my head right now I see a wheelbarrow full of random shape like like honestly they're all dick shaped dick shaped

colorful gourds and some of them were like like pointy like circular and pointy i don't know if guys let me look up gourds it's really good good can i describe it but i should um uh field of gourds yeah images yeah just type in field of gourds on images and you'll see what i mean you guys know what they are if you're you know educated if you've got a brain if you have if you have three brain cells brain cells you probably know what I'm talking about but anyways it's upon us I mean it's what we're going into September October's Halloween time and you know it's it's fall it's it's turning into fall here not really I'm in San Diego but I like to I like to dream big about the seasons. And, um, I picked up some fall candles at HomeGoods the other day. I got a

candle that's like, it says hello fall on it. And it smells like, I don't even know what it smells like. It's like, it's like spice, pumpkin spice, basically. I think it's just a pumpkin spice candle, but I picked up one of those and it, it changes. It just makes everything feel more cozy and like I just want it to be gloomy out and rainy and I want to like drink like a warm I want to drink hot coffee I need a reason to because like I won't drink hot coffee unless it's cold out it's usually my like habit it's got to be cold for me to put a hot cup of coffee down my throat but yeah I don't know I love fall I'm getting excited I can't wait to go to Trader Joe's to pick up all their pumpkin spice products. I mean that, um, pumpkin cookie

butter is like their best product of all time. Their, uh, maple, those maple cream cookies are really good. Um, I mean, I know there's like pumpkin spice popcorn, pumpkin spice, pumpkin spice bagels, pumpkin spice crackers, pumpkin spice cook, everything. Pumpkin spice water. oh my god i bet there's pumpkin spice sparkling water somewhere but yeah um i just i'm one of the i am a unapologetic what is the word um no shame basic white girl or wait what the fuck basic but i'm a i am a i am a i am i'm a basic white girl is that what i'm trying to say I like I love Uggs and leggings like oh my god that's dude I don't care who you are like I think people like to hate on Uggs and leggings but it's kind of a it's kind of sexy

like imagine a girl walking down the street with Lululemon leggings on brown Uggs a pumpkin spice latte in hand oversized sunglasses straight hair what's her top maybe like a lulu zip up or like a workout top or something cute like that's sexy and you can't say that like there's something about the boots that just make you look I feel like all hot girls wear Uggs look it up google it I it's I don't I don't like when people I think people shit on Uggs because it's trendy to shit on Uggs until like there's like memes about oh basic white girls and their Uggs and their pumpkin spice lattes it's like no it's hot okay and I honestly I'm gonna I don't have a pair I used to have a pair of like the

knockoff Uggs and I really want to get a pair this year maybe like some short ones that are kind of like um half like they're they flop over and you see the fur on the outside but like they're shorter my sister has them I always want to take them when I go home but I can't because actually like every time I go home I wear them and she gets mad at me but yeah um it's fall fall is fall is here it's coming soon I got a flannel dress the other day actually I'm gonna return though um I got a dress like cinches at the waist it's like a red flannel vibe and I think I was feeling myself or feeling fall a little too hard and I decided that this looks too it looks like I'm trying a little too hard with this like fall cozy thing. Um, I also got a white sweater

that I dumped sauce on, on my date night. So let's talk about that. Um, did I finish up that section? Yeah. Let me drink some water. How am I doing? Is this episode fun? I don't know. Gotta do it. Gotta persevere. The thing is, is I love podcasting so much. I did it seven days a week. Right. And then now that I do it once a week, if I just feel like I have to bring it harder and I'm more, I feel more in my head about what I like the whole like episode. I'm like, is this like worth it? Are people having fun right now? Like, is this good? Like, I don't know. Like I don't have six other opportunities this week to make it up. You know what I mean? Like this has got to be good, you know, on the first try or like, does that make sense? So

whatever. I'm also still pissed. I don't have a good beverage to drink while I'm podcasting. That kind of makes it makes me feel, I don't know. I feel like I perform better when I have a LaCroix. It lifts my spirits. Like honestly, it's like I always say, if I don't drink a LaCroix by 3 p.m., I start deflating. Emotionally, physically, I literally start deflating as a human being and I'm there. It's time for some carbonation in my body. I need to insert bubbles somewhere and I don't know how I'm going to do it because I don't have any sparkling beverages in my fridge right now and I'm really pissed. So next topic, next segment, a couple more stories. We're going to talk about date night. We're going to talk about going to baseball game,

uh, the Padres Phillies game. Um, yeah. So the other night, a little Friday night date night happened with, uh, my friend and guys, have I said I have a boyfriend? Did I actually say it yet? I do. Anyways, we went to this place called the crack shack here in San Diego. And I know I mentioned, I got that flannel dress. Well, that same day I went shopping, I got a white sweater and it's super cute. It's got like buns on it. It's crochet. It's like, it's like cropped. It's really cute. And anyways, we went out to dinner and this place has a sauce bar you go up to, to like, you like pump your sauces into the little containers they give you at the counter. And I went up to it after we ordered. I got nuggets and fries. That's like my favorite thing to get

there. I got the spicy ones for the first time. They're, they're pretty spicy. I mean, they had like a hint of spice to them, but I think I like the regular ones better. Um, yeah, my boyfriend got, what did he eat? The bacon. He got something with, it was a sandwich, a fried chicken sandwich with bacon eggs wait bacon egg fried chicken avocado was there like brisket on there too like I swear to god I was looking at that sandwich sandwich I'm like how many layers of meat are on there like it looked like a it was like everything you put every possible topping on a sandwich in this sandwich it was so big and oh it had like oh my god so much cheese on it too there's like melted cheddar on it too

um but yeah so I got I go to the sauce bar I'm all excited to get my pineapple mustard sauce my thousand island or no it's like sriracha mayo and my barbecue sauce my ranch like I'm getting excited I can't wait to dunk my nuggets in some fucking pineapple mustard and first squirt And it's all over the place. I dump the container. It's like falls on a stainless steel thing, the table underneath falls all over the side. It's all over my sweater on my wrist. And I'm just like, God damn it. And then he's watching me folding his arms, leaning up against a pole off to the side laughing as I'm struggling. and then the workers are like um it was funny actually one of the guys was like that was helping me was he's like here take this club soda it's gonna take watch it'll take the stain out of your sweater like the bubbles will lift it out it was so random like he had that in his hand like he was it happened so quick like he saw me i think he just knew going in this bitch is gonna get this

Oliver sweater like he saw me and art he like I mean it was so quick how he handed it to me I was like how did he that was I don't know um but yeah and then the girl working there was like wiping up the sauce over the table thing and um he gave me the club soda and he had to give me like extra containers that anyways, so I got the sauce. We sat down and, um, my boyfriend actually like shout out, uh, to him for dabbing out the stain. Cause I didn't believe it. I was like, how's this going to take it out? And it literally took out the, I think it was, uh, what sauce was it? The sriracha mayo. So it was like pink out of my white sweater. Perfectly like no stain left. And anyways um yeah we ate uh we were like oh it's Friday we should go get a drink or something

like let's grab a drink somewhere and that's what our plan was right and then after dinner this is my favorite thing about my boyfriend he comes do you want to get ice cream and I'm just like fuck yeah like it's like get you a man that wants to take you out for ice cream instead of grabbing a drink like I swear to god like I know it's like we still get drinks too but some nights it's like I just don't want to get alcohol like in my body I want to get sugar in my body I want to get ice cream in my body I don't want to be intoxicated so we went to salt and straw we got he got like a coffee ice cream I got mint chip and we sat in a piazza and listened to this lady sing a song and it was so terrible she it was you know anyone that

performs live in a city in front of a crowd it's like I don't expect much like it's not like you're getting a you know it's not like you're watching Adele perform but um anyways we listened to live music we sat in the piazza ate our ice cream and yeah that was date night but I don't know there's a part of me honestly and I'm kind of like delete this episode delete that segment that's like Jacqueline keep your private shit to yourself but like I don't know it's part of my life I mean my personal life my dating life to myself but like I don't know it's like how am I gonna tiptoe and tap dance around it you know what I mean if I'm like yes I went out to dinner with a friend who's a boy like I just don't want to make shit up and it's not like I'm lying

yeah I feel like I'd be lying to you guys so I have a boyfriend boom I said it I am not single boom I said it loud and clear moving on next segment we went to the Padres Phillies game the next day and the story about this is um oh I should talk about my outfit yeah okay so this is a lot I think this is the last segment yeah let me drink some water so I haven't been to a live sporting event in a minute. Okay. And I think I haven't been to a Padres game in two years. Yeah. So it's almost like every time I go out in public now, it's I, I'm like, it's an event I'm dressing up for like every situation. I don't care if it's a grocery store. Maybe not that, but like, I don't know. I just, I like, I like getting dressy now

for everything. And I decided that I wanted to be the woman in white at Petco Park. Okay. I wore a white jumpsuit, a spaghetti strap, square neck, white flowy kind of pant jumpsuit. pants and heels that were wedges that were hidden by the pants were so long you couldn't tell wedges probably wouldn't look good if the pants were shorter but I decided anyway anyways they were comfortable to walk in I was a woman in white I also wore a scarf in my hair okay a little headband situation I looked very like classic okay like I was going it honestly looked like I was going to like Wimbledon or something like I wasn't supposed like this was not a Padres game outfit. I didn't give a fuck though. I wanted to look nice. I want to dress up. I'm seeing, you

know, a live sporting event for the first time in years. It's like, Oh, this feels like it's like opening day of the races. You know what I mean? So I'm walking Jimmy in my white jumpsuit. I'm all ready to go. He shows up in my apartment and he's just like, what the fuck? He's like, we were going to scooter into the, I live in the city. Like we're close enough to scooter like bird into the stadium area and he's like we got an uber you're dressed too nice and you know he's like in a shirt and shorts like a normal person I'm just like it's like what are you I'm like what are you talking about like this is it I'm like look it's just pants and a tank top it's just it's casual and it's it's hot out so this is white and breezy it's fine and I don't

believe there's a such thing as being too dressed up or too dressy I think people are dressed too casually so that's just my opinion and that's how I think of things and honestly a part of me is like I don't want to be like I do have this let's unpack this I I just knew here's here's like the raw truth to be honest I don't even feel weird about saying this because I'm just gonna tell you how it is how my brain works I'm like look every single other person there is gonna be wearing shorts, jeans, and a t-shirt and a baseball cap. Everyone is. And I just didn't want to blend in that day for whatever reason. I wanted to be the woman in white at Petco Park. I wanted to be elegant, classy, put together. I curled my hair so perfectly that day. I put the

little headband, like it was like my mom's scarf. It was like this vintage silk scarf in my hair. Like, oh my God. And yeah, sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to blend in I don't know just like we all have those days and then some days some days I'm like dude okay on on a different day I would like I would want to wear yoga pants comfy sneakers and a baggy t-shirt you know what I mean like it just it all kind of depends on your mood and how you're feeling you know and I was also I was also super tan so the white with the tan looked really nice. Anyways, the story about the game, like the long and short of it is that after the Star Spangled Banner was sung, excuse me, no, that's not it. Is that the Star Spangled

Banner? The national anthem? Oh, say can you see? Yeah, the Star Spangled Banner. Potato, potato, I think it's the same thing. After that was sung, we were standing in line for beer and food while the anthem was going off and after it was sung we're looking at all of the employees selling hot dogs and beer and they're shaking their heads or you know kind of looking out of sorts because at that moment it's as if they timed it whoever hacked whoever dude there was like a cyber attack at peco park i swear to god like every machine was down no machine could take credit cards or cash or anything everything was shut down after the anthem was sung and yeah so basically we stood in line we couldn't get food or beer so we went

back to our seat we watched the game we watched like a couple innings and we're like okay we're gonna go and get food and beer when we start to notice people walking down the stands with stuff like so that that's that's gonna be the signal that the machines are working we can go pay for beer and food and that never happened okay basically like literally the entire game the machines were down they couldn't sell anything it was a shit show and I had gone on a run before I was so hungry I only had a smoothie a smoothie I only had a smoothie that day I was so hungry and thirsty too it just kind of sucked because I don't know it was like I really wanted there's nothing better than beer and a hot dog at a baseball game come on like that's part of the

experience um but we had a good time otherwise so we ended up getting it I'll tell you that story in a second we ended up getting food but um we were sitting this is kind of a fun this was fun a fun part of going to the game we were sitting next to Phillies fans and uh my boyfriend I don't want to keep saying it it's just like annoying uh is a fan of the Phillies and so that was music to his ears and hearing people cheer for the Phillies next to him was you know very exciting and they literally sat right next to us so I decided to be a Phillies fan that day I don't really care about baseball in San Diego that much like I'm not from here it's not like I have a soul tie to the fucking Padres. You know, I don't even want to say what team I used to root for

because it's so embarrassing. Like I'm from Seattle. You know, you can, uh, fill that in yourself. Um, that's my home team. That's a team I usually would root for. Anyways, we were Phillies fans that day and this girl behind us was just like fuck you Machado you fucking fucking fucking like just like yelling at the Padres players so intensely the entire game and it was I love a rowdy crowd like I love raunchy crazy people that say horrible things at the umpire like the ref at a basketball game like anything like I love it oh my god I live for that and I don't personally do it myself but like listening to people around me do it makes me because it reminds me of college and like my glory days being in the stands at football games and

we're all yelling and bitching and cussing and cheering it's just like the it's so therapeutic and it's like therapeutic to hear someone else do it so yeah this girl was like like what was that one she said like I didn't even know like her phrases I think she was from south philly or she was from philadelphia she was from there and like moved to san diego a few years ago or something we were talking to her and but her phrases were so perfect so well timed it was like you couldn't be mad at her for like it's almost like the padres fans were laughing too like they thought it was funny too because you know anyways so that was kind of our entertainment we were sitting next to a couple old dudes um they were Phillies fans and yeah so then at one point

I think we saw people coming down with like a hot dog and a beer in hand yeah it towards like the seventh inning and we're like oh what's this hey we this is our signal they're they're selling food we can finally go get our beer and our hot dog so we waltz up to the concession area and we see these lines of people so obviously there's food and we're seeing food come out and and beer and so we stand in line and all of a sudden this woman in front of us with like she's like a work a lady that worked there with like a lanyard on that's how you know they work there they have a lanyard on a hat and then that then a little like walkie talkie on their hip so this woman in front of us

was like we're closed we're closed no we're not this is the end of the line everyone in front of the in front of me has been waiting for half an hour they're getting food and beer everyone else has it we're closed so Jacqueline so what I do I'm like dude number one rule in life never take no for an answer okay uh there's your little life tip of the day or life advice for the day never take no for an answer come on especially for bullshit like this so I'm like uh I was like oh like I got all like cute and I even popped my I like grabbed my boyfriend's shoulder and I like popped my leg up and like did a little like oh it would mean a what did I say I was like I looked at her and I was like it's our first date it would mean

it would mean so much to us if he would let us be the last people in line it would mean a lot and I did that and I like like I like hugged his shoulder and like popped my leg up and she's like okay okay and like I winked at her and then we stood in line and we were the last people to get food so yeah um I was just like because you know what I mean like who like what's what's what's two more people gonna do you know what I mean like the line was already so long I'm like this is just I think at that point it's like whoever's willing to wait in line to get food can do it but um she stood behind us the rest of the time and then cut everyone else off that tried to get in line so um we were literally the last people and anyways um we

I think I probably probably stood there for 30 minutes and it turns turns out that it was just it was just um everyone was given it was all free one food item and one drink and the drink was an alcohol and we got excited because we saw people walk away with like tall cans of Bud Light and shit but apparently they stopped doing that and then it was just um like soda or whatever so anyways we stood there for like 30 minutes we finally got to the front of the line I'm like okay I'm gonna try this again and I wanted there's like four people at the registers and we we both wanted chicken strips and fries because we were so hungry there's like hot dogs or chicken strips and fries and we decided not it was probably the uh it fucked us up uh

physically emotionally spiritually no the chicken strips were like not good on the stomach afterwards but we were so hungry we need something hefty and the hot dog didn't come with come with fries so that's why we went with the chicken strips anyways but I was like there are fucking so behind the registers at the concession stand were cases of like sliding cases of alcohol like the beer cans right and I'm like dude all I'm gonna do is ask I'm gonna pretend like I didn't know that it's just soft drinks and not alcohol and ask for beer and see what happens I feel like because I wanted there's this uh older gentleman at the uh on the on the register that I thought would be cool the other people like they're they're young people that were probably like oh I can't do that I'll

lose my job I feel like I felt like the older guy would have been cool you know giving us because other people were getting the free beer earlier so I was like why can't we just get it too you know what I mean stupid rules they made up like on the fly as this whole situation was unfolding with the computers down anyways we get up there and I do the little like two hands like walking up to the counter, taking up space, leaning forward. And I go, we'd like two Pacificos and two chicken strip baskets, please. And as soon as I said the P on Pacifico, he's like, we're not serving alcohol. Like, God damn it. And anyways, it didn't work, but I was like trying to use my female energy and like, Hey, like we'd like to be like, you know what I mean? And it just

didn't happen but we got I had like the biggest they gave out like extra large cups of like I got a diet coke oh my god it was so bad for me and we just I ate that so fast I ate all of it every single fry every single chicken strip we finished watching the game uh Phillies lost like it was a really tight game at the end there and um I didn't know so something new in the MLB is putting a runner on second base in extra oh it's okay bud he just knocked my little vanity mirror over you're sleepy it's okay just keep napping i'm almost done just keep napping um yeah they put a runner on second now to speed up the game when there's extra innings because in the past like you'd be there till 1130 PM and they'd be in the 15th fucking inning and no one would be

winning and just, it was taken forever. So I thought that was interesting. Um, but yeah, anyways, Padres won. Uh, yeah, that was my weekend. I'm trying to think, do I have any other updates? What happened today? Let me recap. Cockroach in the toilet. Uh, my dog had surgery. I uh pumpkin spice season is here I talked about that uh I went to the crack shack I spilled sauce all over my sweater I told that story I lost a friend from high school I went to the Padres game I drank green smoothies um I do have a note here I mentioned this last week let me I also feel like I had to there was something I wanted to correct from last week's episode that I said I don't care I don't think it's that big of a deal but there I remember

there's a part where I was like oh I think I should I should have said that different whatever um or like corrected like I said something is a fact that wasn't a fact I don't remember but whatever it's past um and it wasn't that big of a thing anyways I do have a note here that uh about afghanistan afghan afghanistan are you in afghanistan are you an afghanistan person are you a taliban person are you a taliban taliban person i swear to god every time i listen to someone say those words it's like one or the other it's like can we just decide i think it's on the on not the an taliban and afghanistan or taliban in afghanistan like

it's totally the potato the potato thing no one says potato though I mean come on like that's not even how people say potato um but I mentioned last week that I wanted to talk about it on this episode I was gonna like because things unfolded all week long and I was like okay by next Sunday I'll have a lot more to talk about a lot more to mention but I'd say one observation i have is that in myself even is that i feel like it's easy to hate on biden right now if you already hate on biden for other stuff but i gotta say and honestly i got this um perspective from crystal and saga around breaking points because i listen to their um podcast pretty

regularly and they yin and yang each other pretty like super well and they look at things very objectively which I appreciate from people that report the news you know what I mean and they said like you know they the Biden actually did it like out of all of the presidents that came before him he's the one that actually got us out of Afghanistan Afghanistan like he actually did it And, yeah, it's a mess. Yeah, it probably could have been executed more or it could have been planned better or whatever you want to say. But I don't know. I just felt like, oh, like, true.

Yeah, that's true. And I feel like the lives lost over the last, you know, month there versus the 20 years is like night and day. You know what I mean? and it does feel like I said last week it's like oh yeah we fucking lost the war it's like we lost the war bitches like for like the Taliban is the Taliban it's like they could it's as if that was always gonna happen or something like that was the that was the evil plan the whole time and we were there for what reason you know what I mean I know it's a lot it all has to do with money at the end of the day if you look it all up and I don't I'm not well versed in any of this Afghanistan

stuff I'm not an expert I don't know much about it other than like why we went there because you know like back in the day like when 9-11 happened and then how everything unfolded after that like I understand that but like in the recent years it's like what the fuck are we doing there you know what I mean um but yeah I guess I think it's but my my observation is that it's like people are super mad at Biden and going after him about this when it's like well I don't know like I said I got this perspective from Crystal and Sagar but I like how they said it what did um god Sagar said like the best sentence he's like the worst worst decision or the best worst decision like this was the best worst decision something like that about removing like getting out of Afghanistan

like um I don't know go listen to their podcast about it they've been talking about it like all week um and then can I just say this like here's something else I want to insert I was watching I don't even know why like okay I was on TikTok of course and I like watching war like military stuff on like TikTok like behind the scenes uh combat videos and stuff on TikTok and documentaries and I don't even know why they're on TikTok but there was this interview of Dakota Meyer or Myers who won the medal of honor like I don't know like 2006 or something I don't know but he was talking about killing someone um when he was over I think it was in Afghanistan or Iraq but he was talking about killing like like what you go through as you're

killing someone and he was describing the look in the other guy's eyes and all this stuff. I don't know what that, I don't know why, but after, as I was watching this video and listening to him describe killing someone, I'm like, and then I see all of these images of, or just like on CBS or I was watching this vice documentary on YouTube about what's going on over there right now. They did like a 20 minute video about it. And there were videos. So what I'm saying is when I see like members of the taliban or like taliban i can't guys i need to decide taliban i'm gonna tell him i'm a taliban person taliban taliban um when i see like just shooting through a wall through a hole and they're being filmed for the documentary and i'm like so wait so they're

shooting another human being another person for what why are they doing that what's going on what's the point like i just at this point in the um modern day we live in live in i'm like what's the point of killing someone it's so barbaric it's so like it just seems so dumb I'm like like why and I know everyone believes in their own cause so hard and a lot of these groups believe it's so hard they're willing to fucking die for it and kill innocent people for it and i guess that's what it is but it's so it's such a mind fuck i'm like they're following these military guys around with the camera to do this documenter and then these guys are actually like shooting people this is like real life shit and people are actually

dying losing their lives like boom off the planet gone they have a family at home they're you know their son they're a father they're a husband like boom gone just like for what it just seems i don't know I don't I just I just see a lot of the military and like war stuff I'm like what's the point why are we why are we killing each other why are we doing this like why I ask why every single day of the week all day long that's my that's my number one word why why why but I guess this Afghanistan situation is making me really ask questions and look at this world in a new way because it's like my dad always said can't we all just get along that's exactly how he said it too can't we all just get along when our family would be like sparring and

fighting it's just true though like what's the point you know we're just taking innocent young women away to be married to the Taliban like what the fuck it's so sad um I don't know but that's kind of like what I wanted to say I guess is about Afghanistan this week um just a weird time I guess I don't know I'm trying I don't know I don't I'm not following it too closely like I said I listen to Crystal and Sagar talk about it so I get my information from them mostly and then like people post on Instagram but overall it's kind of a it's a fucking mess and yes I think it could have been planned better I think we all could agree that agree about that but on both sides we could also agree and I think it's a pretty unanimous

idea or thought that we shouldn't be in there in the first place so aren't we all happy now can we just be happy that we're not there like we're we did it i don't know what's gonna unfold next though because now it just seems like we fucking embarrassed ourselves and we look weak and we look just like like i don't think our our exit was very like wasn't good for uh are what's the word the united states is fucking vibe and the episode jacqueline you're not an expert on this topic i don't know what else to say like

it wasn't a good look i don't know what else to say and you know what's also not a good look like nancy pelosi and fucking napa valley sipping wine right now or like i feel like i heard about how all these politicians are just like in other corners of the world like on vacation like wasn't biden like there were memes about this like he was somewhere you know it's just like how trump was mar-a-lago golfing we know when shit would go down like people bitch about that it's like same thing but um nothing's ever gonna get solved and that's just what i'm learning you guys that's that's life and instead of spiraling and being so upset about it it's just like make write your

own fucking headlines your observation your or your your perception of life and the world around you and it's just the way it is is pretty heavily based off of headlines you read what you're seeing through all of the media you consume whether it's tv social social media um you know even like reading a newspaper if you still do that your news apps like but think about this if you didn't look at it what would you think about this world you know it's just something it's just like an interesting thing to think about like what if we only knew what was going on around us within 50 miles you know what I mean I don't know it doesn't really affect I honestly here's where I'm at though shout out social media shout out

the internet shout out the information age here's where I'm at I've and it's probably maturity and just like having a lot of years of consuming content under my belt i'm a motherfucking spectator right now like 2020 was a movie this is like this afghanistan stuff like this chaos it's just a fucking movie i'm watching every day and it's so like it i understand how blessed privileged and good i have it over here over here to be able to to even be able to say that you know what i mean but you sometimes it's just like sit back pop some popcorn and read the fucking news what's it gonna be today and and i it's almost like oh i'm this is just entertainment at this point it doesn't ralph it doesn't like change my chemistry and make me mad and and angry

I don't have like a I don't physically or like I don't react to it anymore or like because I understand it's all it's so it's just so many smoke and mirrors so much smoke mirrors and what's the word um fabricated it's all fucking it's all blown out of proportion fabricated misconstrued everything is just like however they want to write it and however they want to make it seem and yeah so write your own headlines what did i say i don't know but that's kind of where i'm at right now with the world and i just i am so excited for like 10 years from now or five years from now and getting clarity answers documentaries on netflix all about this time all about covid all about what happened during 2020 like like this afghanistan stuff like i want to know

everything i can't wait for this to come out and like unfold in the next yeah like decade probably but it's fun point of me saying this is kind of fun to just be a spectator and sit back and watch and just go what the fuck's gonna be today but it's real life shit like people are dying that's it's unless you're there unless you're actually boots on the ground over there like you just don't know what it's like and it's easy to comment on and talk about and have an opinion about but like unless you're actually there experiencing it like you just don't know unless you hear like I don't know what it's like to be in my apartment hear gunshots going off because the Taliban's invading my city or whatever, like, or taking over my city. Oh God. And I don't, I don't want

to know what that's like. That's a thing. Like, I don't want that to come here. I don't want to know what that's like. It's horrifying. It's horrifying to even imagine, you know? And again, it's like, what's the point of killing people? What's the point of shooting innocent people? like, what's the point? Like I said, it's barbaric. It seems, like, way out of, it's, like, out of date. It's, like, out, it's, like, out of date. I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I need to end the episode. I'm kind of coming down. I need to make a coffee. I kind of wanted to make one while I was podcasting, actually. I thought that might be fun, like, just casually make a coffee in the background of

talking um okay that's it guys I hope you had a great week thanks for hanging out today kind of trailed off there at the end into a Afghanistan Afghanistan tangent but whatever I feel like I like to talk about current events and news and what's going on in the world when I can and I'm not always confident with my words because I don't know, I'm not super, um, like educated on these things. I just hear things through the grapevine and then I make my own sense of it. And, um, yeah, I like to, I think it's good though. You know, my, my goal kind of at the beginning with podcasting back in September, 2020 was to face the world head on get my skin in the game comment on current events in this world of

you know strange times and cancel culture like instead of being shy about it I'm gonna I'd rather trip up this is kind of how this is probably not this is probably not the best thing about this is probably not a good perspective to have or mindset but like I'd rather trip up on my trip up on my words and say something kind of screwy and wrong and a little bit like questionable, then not say anything at all. Because I think it's a numbers game. And the more I do this, the better I'll get. The longer I live, the wiser I'll get. I'll have, you know, more like life experience under my belt. And I'll be more cultured as I travel and see the world and do things like it's all gonna come together and it's coming together every single day and

I'm not I guess what I'm saying is I'm not afraid to like talk things out how I see them even if it even if I'm not an expert I think that's how you get good at things you have to be willing to kind of suck and just let or not that I suck but you gotta be willing to crawl before you ball bitches okay gotta be willing to crawl before you ball all right and you also got to be willing to be hated or yeah like I don't think I said anything too controversial today maybe I did maybe I totally pissed you off but like I've learned that too you have to be willing if you're gonna put yourself out on the internet and to the pub to the public and especially on a podcast especially when you're off the cuff doing you know a podcast it's basically a stream of consciousness

it's like whatever comes to your mind and you're not scripting it or editing it um you've got to be willing to get some kickback for shit you say because or what am I saying you learn that you learn quickly like you can't please everyone you're gonna piss people off like I've been I've I in the past I used to really pop off like back when I was like oh my god like back in October last year I don't even know what those podcasts were like my early podcasts are so they're a lot and I would get dms from people that were pissed off like I would get people's I would get messages that you know would and I invite that like I like to I I invite other opinions I think that's I I need to uh I love what is it that someone said

probably Whitney Cummings I think it's her she goes make disagreeing with people an interesting conversation again make disagreeing with people an interesting conversation it used to be an interesting conversation to disagree with someone and now it's like two people having a conversation and the whole time that disagree and the whole time all they're trying to do is get their point across and they don't no one's learning from each other they're just like it's like two magnets that just, like, not, I don't know, so, yeah, anyways, I would, like, get Diaz, but I'm not set in my ways, like, I, especially, like, you know, it's, I'm, that whole Biden pulling out of Afghanistan thing, like, I'm a changed woman, a month ago, like, I wasn't so hot on Biden, you know what I

mean, I'm not, like, stoked on him right now, but, like, I'm, like, you gotta give the man credit, you got to give that administration credit, like, they fucking did it, and, yeah, so, I'm able to, you know, I'm not, like, set in my ways, like, I, you know, to my grave, I'm gonna have one opinion, one idea, no, so, I like, I, and I like healthy debate and conversation about things that I, you know like this vaccine like i've the amount of times i've gotten into little you know sparring sessions with my boyfriend about the vaccine it's like you know we have a difference of opinion on it it's like that that's a good thing it would suck to be in a world where everyone agrees with each other so anyways

um but what i was saying because i can't end this episode because i don't know how to end I don't know how to end a podcast is that you can't please everyone the quicker the sooner you learn that the sooner you start living for yourself and you're or not you got to be selfish you got to be selfish a little bit in life but like do what you want to do say what you're going to say because of because you believe in it you want to say it you want to do those things in life and not and not and it has nothing to do with other people and how they're going to perceive you and what they're going to think of you as soon as you get to i swear to god that's when you spread your little butterfly wings you get out of the cocoon in life and you soar

like that is the secret of life literally not giving a shit i hate i that's my word i'm trying to cut out of my vocabulary i say shit and i don't like when i say shit on the episode um like the sooner you you know cut that out what was I saying I just got off track train wreck um yeah basically nobody cares except you and most people live in I'm talking about myself because I think in the past I was in my I was stuck in my head all day I was stuck in my head so much in the past worried about things that didn't matter and especially what other people thought of me and like as soon as I got rid of that my mindset that almost like it's not a hundred percent I feel like there's a little there's pieces here and there that

or there's it comes and goes right um you know I feel like it's yeah nothing's ever a hundred percent but it's so freeing once you get to that point you're not like you can't get embarrassed you don't feel insecure you just move through life with confidence and energy and like unique like you could you I feel like that's when people become so uniquely uniquely themselves it's when they're uninhibited by the like people's they're not phased or they're they don't they don't live for other people and their opinions anymore and I think there's a big difference you can tell when like you can see a difference in people

when they lean into that and then and when they really live that way versus what they were before and I feel like I'm one of those people I think it might also just be maturity and finding yourself and like I'm on that self-love journey and I'm like finding who I am or whatever but um I know that people go their whole life with those stupid insecurities and for what it's like it's so it's like an unnecessary it's like you don't need to have it it's like there's no it's not useful it just makes you skittish and concerned about things that i don't know be the center of your own world what does the tiktok thing be the main character everyone's you're the main character of

your life i don't know all right have a great week thank you for hanging out today this was episode 295 of the jacqueline jacqueline the jacqueline monroe show um hit that subscribe button if you haven't already and follow me on instagram at jacqueline monroe leave a review on the apple podcast app it helps me out it helps the show out and it helps people find out about the show so one through five stars do your thing um yeah write me honestly I like I kind of want to get no I shouldn't say that never mind um yeah leave a review subscribe um what else call your family call your grandma call I'm telling this to myself too because I need to like call someone that you haven't called in a while that's your called that's your call to

call to action at the end. That's your homework. Um, yeah. I hope you have a great week. Thanks for hanging out and I'll talk to you next Sunday. Okay. Bye.