The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 304- Q&A #37

Episode Date: January 22, 2022

You asked, I answered! What's my biggest phobia? Do I ever get sick of social media? Relationship Advice? Turn ons? Turn offs? What's my favorite restaurant in San Diego? Advice on loving yourself more!?What's my zodiac sign? How do I stay motivated? Why did I start podcasting? Have I ever broken up with someone I thought was "the one"? What's my favorite memory? What was it like going to Catholic school? AND MORE!  Exclusive Content: Patreon.com/TJMS 

What's up, guys? It's episode 304. Welcome back to the show. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. this is my first Q&A of the year. So let's get into it. I need to keep it real with y'all right now. It's a puffy day. Okay. I've been going through some shit. And I'm saying this because I'm on camera and I'm insecure of my puffiness. But I've been going through some shit. And my mom sent me some sympathy money for Postmates last night to order myself some nice food. And I went hard with uh with a California burrito last night and ice cream and uh yeah so just keeping it real sometimes I get on camera and I and I don't like the uh the cheek the cheekage

that's happening no one's noticing it I'm calling attention to it for no reason no one's even thinking this right now um but yeah it's a puffy day and I'm going through some shit but uh so it's Q&A I used to number these I have no clue what number I'm on okay hold on I gotta shock Jimmy out Jimmy's my golden retriever on set right now

out he has a shock collar on I don't shock him I buzz him out go to the go watch this on Spotify or YouTube if you want to see what I'm doing But yeah, anyways, I used to number my Q&As.

I used to do these every Saturday when I podcasted seven days a week. And I really liked it. It's kind of fun to, yeah, ask Instagram questions or for questions and then answer them. And it gives you all kinds of stuff to talk about. So I just want to jump into it. I have them all written down. I actually wrote some responses already because, like I said, it's just it's one of those. it's, I'm in a, I'm in a, I'm in a wild phase of, uh, I'm in a currently how much more vague

could I get right now? I'm, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's all good. Everything's going to work out. Uh, but I'm in a, I'm going through a unprecedented times in my life, uh, personally. so yeah i wrote them i wrote the questions down i wrote responses to them already so i might just read off my responses i premeditated like it's not like i was this is a surprise question like no i've seen them all so um yeah first off i need to plug my plug my um plug my plugs first off uh patreon.com slash tjms uh head over there if you want to support the show it's five dollars a month and i'm running a special right now anyone that signs up right now for my patreon uh gets it for that five dollars you get that five dollar special everybody

gets the five dollar special i'd like 10 patrons uh to sign up on this episode so if you sign up for my exclusive content on Patreon DM me let me know that you did it and I will uh should I follow everyone I'm gonna follow all my patrons that used to be a thing like follow for a follow or like for a follow or do you know what I mean I'm gonna do that like old school social media thing so patreon.com slash tjms if you want to get access to more of me it's a way to support the show. And, um, yeah, I'm going to be, I'm, I have all these, um, videos lined up for the new year. I'm looking at my beans right now. I have these, I'm going to do the bean boozle challenge on it where I eat jelly beans. Um, I think I'm going to make my boyfriend do this with me. I haven't

told him yet. And then we'll film it. And then one of us gets a nice tasting one. And one of us gets a disgusting tasting one. And it's like, film your reaction. So stuff like that. I'm going to do uh vlogs of my life um working from home behind the scenes podcasting vlogs uh anything and everything like the chubby bunny challenge i'm going to do the cinnamon challenge i'm going to do all these throwback youtube challenges for fun um bonus episodes will be on my patreon etc etc so dm me if you sign up today uh i need 10 people to sign up patreon.com slash tjms that was way too long uh follow me follow me on spotify and youtube you can watch subscribe to my youtube channel follow me on spotify subscribe so you never miss an episode

all right did i do everything okay so let's do the first question let me just jump right into it how's jimmy uh someone asked about my dog jimmy so he's good i got him a shot caller because i've had it i slacked off on training when he was a young pup he's a year old now and i slacked off on the early training and it's getting so bad where if he's around a group of people like i took him to the beach the other night um and there was like 20 people there at this bonfire and he was he went nuts like he everything he knows goes out the window when he's around people and it's really embarrassing so I got him a little training collar to buzz him so he knocks knocks out of his bad behavior pretty like it's pretty

instant like he he gets buzzed and uh he obeys and he he sits and it's great so yeah I'm going hard with the training now trying to make up for lost time um he's good he started howling like a wolf anytime a siren uh goes off in the city here that's his new thing he has a girlfriend jimmy has a girlfriend named honey at the dog park but yeah he's good um that's a great warm-up question. Um, this is like a random one. Do you have any tattoos? I stand by this. I'm the, I'm pretty sure this is a Kim K quote. You don't put a bumper sticker on a Bentley. I don't have any tattoos. I don't, I don't really want any. I don't think I'd look good with tattoos. um I don't I don't know I feel like if if I do get one it'll be a like a sibling tattoo I've

talked to my siblings like let's get sibling tattoos or it'd be a couple's tattoo or something um but yeah I just don't I I like I just like myself with no tattoos so I don't have any tattoos okay um next question is this fun guys how are you doing how's your new year going how are you uh doing with the resolutions the other day was quitters day like international global quitters day i think it was the 19th there's like statistics that show on the 19th of January most people give up on their new year's resolutions so it's called quitter's day I thought that was interesting but yeah I hope your health is good I hope you're uh are you going through it too are you going through some

shit like me um I'm being so vague no one's ever gonna no one's ever gonna find out but it's one of those things where it's like, damn, life comes at you fast, and one day you're this way, and the next day you're this way, and yeah, that's not helping anyone figure out what I'm talking about okay um I love Q&A's why did you start podcasting next question it wasn't it wasn't a plan I never planned on podcasting it was a random uh it just happened out of thin air honestly I've told the story many times um I mean I've probably mentioned this 10 times throughout my 300 episodes, 304 episodes now, but I was watching the final episode of the Joe Rogan experience at his old studio before he moved to Austin.

And he was, that was the Duncan Trussell five-hour interview. So I was like locked in on my couch. I'm like, I'm going to sit through this and watch the whole thing, pop some popcorn, sat back. And I was committed. I was going to, yeah, I was going to finish it. And within 10 minutes, someone on Instagram DM me that I should do a podcast and I literally shut off because they responded to something I had posted or something I had written on my story and I literally shut it off and grabbed my little iPhone headphones with the microphone plugged it into my phone and recorded my first podcast and then I recorded every single day then I committed to like seven days a week for a year and then I did that and I got obsessed and I was like an instant like oh I

found my passion this is what I'm supposed to do here I am I'm a podcast host and it was the type of thing where I was obsessed addicted every single day I looked forward to podcasting couldn't stop thinking about it uh Jimmy no come on buzzing you again did that do feedback in my microphone wait what if I beep oh my god do you guys hear that that's his beeper is this abusive like what are what's your opinion on training shot callers um I mean I grew up with golden retrievers with underground um with shot callers on for we had like underground fences so they got shot they shocked themselves all the time trying to run away from the property so I'm just and I was I grew up with like choke chains and yeah okay um so yeah why did I start

um yeah there's a story um what I found honest to god like this is uh I don't know god creators universe source whatever you pray all out like I swear to god did I what did I say um it was one of those things where it was like all of, it was like an epiphany, like all of these years of me hearing people talking about finding your passion and like, you know, finding something you could do every day that you, that you love. Like, um, what am I saying? It was like, okay, I heard that all throughout my twenties and I felt like I never had that. I never discovered that. I never found it. And then when I, the second I started recording my podcast, I was like, this is it. And it was like this big, the, like the stars aligned. It was this big moment

in my, in my life. And here I am episode three or four, we're still going. So, um, yeah. So next question relationship advice question mark I guess I'm qualified to answer this question because I'm in a relationship I guess they know that I've talked about I've said like boyfriend on my episode before episodes in the past I always mentioned like being in healthy relationship, et cetera, et cetera. Um, relationship advice. Ooh, well, I feel like first off, figure out how to be happy alone without anyone else around you. Like relationship advice, date yourself, be single, like get really good at that and get really used to, uh, or not used to get really comfortable with being alone and figure out what you like about yourself. Like figure out

what you bring to the table, like get your own life going, like have your own stuff going on. So that way when you meet someone, yeah, you're set up for, you've got, yeah, you have your own life, you have your own, you don't need them, like, to have a good life and to make you happy. That's what I mean. Also, I actually wrote this down, I'm cheating, but I wrote healthy relationships are, they aren't found, they're built and created. like you have to work on it you have to put effort into building a healthy loving relationship um it doesn't just like happen it's not it's just not like a oh I found that it's like no it's because you're you and your partner are working on it you're you're creating it you're putting in a lot of effort to have that and that takes a ton of communication it takes a ton of listening

understanding like really understanding what the other person needs and yeah so that was my advice healthy relationships are not found they're built and created okay um also I wrote do the little things do the little things like I send I send random Amazon gifts I'm one of those people I'm like, there's a package with your name on the door. It's, it's a, it's a surprise. Merry Christmas in September. Like I love sending little cute gifts, like little things. And, um, yeah, do the little things, you know, I give a ton of back massages. I, um, run errands, like, you know, anything and everything just to like be that little missing puzzle piece wherever I can be in their life. And I think that, um, that's a, that's like a good thing in a relationship. Okay.

I don't really do, I don't really do a relationship advice. I've never really been in one on the podcast other than recently. So yeah. Um, next question. What sign are you? I'm a cancer uh yeah I'm a crab I'm sensitive I'm a homebody I'm all those things I feel like I'm not a big believer or I am I'm I think astrology is interesting but it's not my like it's not my religion I don't know everything about it but when I read about my sign and the personality traits, the characteristics, the qualities, I feel like it makes sense for me because when I did my birth chart one time, I found out that my rising sign, like the sign that

when people meet me, like that's what I project is I'm a rising Leo. So I feel like that makes sense because I'm like, I like being seen and heard. I like putting on a show I like being the center of attention like you know I feel like that's a Leo thing like um I should like look up the actual traits but but I'm also like I'm a total cancer like emotional cry baby like I'm a total like yeah like home body and I love like my thing is like nurturing and like caring for people and like I just want to like cook and entertain and host parties and like also the fuzzy blanket thing and the fuzzy cozy clothes that cancers apparently love wearing I like that stuff too like I don't know I like lighting candles and

yeah I feel like it's it's all about like the cozy vibes the being super sensitive and um but like we always know we we see through people's bs really well apparently like I'm very intuitive, and I, like, I, I catch people on lies a lot, like, because I know that, I know what's going on, what's actually going on, but it's the thing, they're very, um, yeah, they're, uh, we know. Guys, again, I don't really, like, are you into astrology, are you listening, and you're like, yeah, that's, you nailed it. That's a cancer. But also I'm such a lover. Like I'm a lover till the end. Um, I guess that's another cancer quality. Like I'm no matter what, like I, I'm, I'm a, I make that decision. Like, uh, I'm going to work on loving you no matter

what even when shit goes sideways I try to fix things and see the best in the partner and the person and that's bitten me in the ass many times but um I don't I'm not I don't throw in the towel in relationships I usually try to work them out till the end okay cool um do you still do shout out next question do you still do shout outs for your Patreon so if you're an OG listener to my show um I used to shout out my patrons every single episode at the end of the show I would call out their name and I don't do that anymore I stopped like six months in I think um but now my new thing again patreon.com slash tjms is where you can become a patron I think my new thing is going to be I'll follow you um is that something worth becoming a patron

is that like worth becoming one because you all you also get the exclusive content and all the other stuff but um I don't think I can do like shout outs maybe it just it doesn't really make sense because the longer the list gets of people the more it takes it's just like a extra like what does that do for you to hear your name on the end of the episode if it really makes you excited dm me let me know but i feel like right now my thing is going to be i'll follow you and we can be social media friends because honestly i i used to follow maybe like a thousand people and i'm down to like 300 and something so I've really axed my my uh my follow list because yeah I'm trying to make it I'm trying to I don't know social media is such a distraction and I feel like I was mindlessly

watching people's stories that I didn't even know I didn't really care about and so yeah now the only people I care about are the people I follow now and then if and if you become a patron you so there you go um next question you're so gorgeous any advice on loving yourself more thank you uh thank you thank you any advice on loving yourself more I mean honestly at some point you got to realize you're the shit straight up like I think I had that I had a moment with with myself this honestly all happened honestly the 2020 really knocked me into my uh self-love like no other time in my life um yeah at some point you just have to realize you're the shit you're the only you um

like and and also like no the thing that helps me love myself more is um realizing that like nobody's thinking about you like you're thinking about them and I used to be insecure about like judgment from other people and I think that made me hate myself more and so yeah realizing that no one is thinking about you nobody cares um everyone's mostly concerned about themselves like that's freeing and like once you really embody that and really like get that in your head um I just feel like you start it helps relax you and helps you get out and get out of your head and um another thing is keeping your word to yourself like what was the question any any advice on loving yourself more like what helps me love myself more is keeping my promises like

if I say I'm going to do something following through and doing it makes me feel more confident and it makes me feel good about myself and it helps my self-esteem um because when I fail at doing things if I say oh Jacqueline like this week I'm gonna do x y and z goal and I don't do it then I feel like shit about myself. And then it's easy to be, um, yeah, easy to beat yourself up over stuff like that. So when you say what you're, if you do what you say you're going to do, keep your promises to yourself. I feel like that really helps amp up. Yeah. Your self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, because you know that you can accomplish things. You can know that like you've proved, you prove it to yourself every time you follow through that you're capable,

you're able to do those things um that you say you're gonna do and um another self-love tip is like this takes time this takes time and it's not an overnight process at all but you have to stop and like have a really quick shut off valve when you notice yourself spiraling and self-hate and when you because I remember in my deepest darkest depression which is pretty much the first five months of the pandemic this is when it all started uh for me like my self-love journey okay I've been in multiple like okay first of all self-love like it's such a saturated term on the internet right now but it just helps in life if you like yourself a lot and you're you like you love yourself like it

really improves every other area of your life if you have that nice foundation of being your biggest best friend cheerleader and supporter like it's important so I'm going to talk about it but yeah during my darkest deepest depression I would literally lay on my couch wake up in the morning no I'll start with the morning I would wake up in the morning in my bed and lay there and I would think about every single horrible thing or every single thing that I thought was horrible about myself which was all a story it's not true and I would spiral and I would think and I would stew and I would it would go on and on and on and I would just lay there in disgust and hatred of myself and so my self-love tip and this is

something I had an epiphany about in 2020 is to once you notice that start those thoughts start starting shut it off like cut it out it's useless like like negative thinking this is like another I think I wrote this for another question but I'll just I'll just answer it now thinking is useless negative thinking is useless it's a waste of time it's a waste of life there's no purpose for it it doesn't do anything good for you so shut it off like cut it like figure out a way and again it takes time this this took me like I had that epiphany like oh my god I could just not think these thoughts I could just stop right now as they're happening um yeah just practice shutting it off um yeah that's my my press on

nail just fell off god damn it guys I'm sick of I can't do press-on nails anymore does anyone else out there do those the kind of you like stick on I can't do it um I'm too cheap to get my nails done I don't want to sit there for an hour and a half I'm taking a lot I'm drinking actually there's collagen in my coffee right now I'm uh ingesting a lot of collagen for nail growth but these press-on nails like the amount of times guys this is this is like this is really this is really fucking embarrassing but like I've been like with my boyfriend and I'll be like in his room and I'm like there's my nail on the carpet from three months ago or like at the end at the end of the bed there's my nail or

like the other day he got out of the car and we were by a parking parking meter and my fucking nail I think it was stuck in my hair my fucking nail like it was raining it like fell into a stream of water and I watched it like sail down the side of the street so yeah no more press on nails 2022 I gotta stop I I usually have like natural nails with a little paint on them, but these are, these just elevate your look a lot. They're, they're just, they're just, they look nice and that's why I wear them, but they always fall off and I'm sick of it. So anyways, um, shut off your negative thoughts. All right. What was the next question? Um, sorry. What is your, what is your favorite restaurant in San Diego?

uh this is easy I had it last night uh I got an I I guys I first of all I fucking love burritos I like like it's a I think I have an oral fixation and I do have an oral fixation and I feel like burritos fulfill that need to like I don't know whatever but I have a I my favorite restaurant in San Diego um is Lucha Libre Lucha Lucha Lucha Libre taco shop um and burrito shop they sell burritos most I feel like their burritos are why people go there that's why I go there um yeah I had one last night I always get the surf and turf burrito um it has steak and shrimp in it and avocado and rice and they do this like chipotle secret sauce and it's so good it just like it fulfills my need like when I want to like sit down and eat something like hearty that that's what I

want like I don't really I'm not turned on by like pizza like it used to be I'm not really turned on by like let's have some penne penne alla vodka like some pasta like no I just want like a fucking burrito and also honorable mention to the crack shack uh the crack shack here in San Diego it's like a chicken place um yeah honorable mention to their nuggets I'm a big fan of anything chicken nugget anything chicken strip but specifically their um yeah their nugget their nuggies their little chicken nuggets they're so good so I like the crack shack and lucha libre there's a million restaurants here I love but recently those are kind of my go-to's um what is your next question oh god guys I have a chocolate chip cookie here on set

we're gonna take a break an eating break um I just made eye contact with it and we're gonna play easy to get right now playing easy to get with a chocolate chip cookie on the Jacqueline Monroe show we're not gonna avoid eating this because we're recording we're gonna eat it because we want to and it's my show and I swear this is when I say when I say I'm living the dream like it really doesn't get any better than this like you guys can't stop me right now this is my show I can do whatever I want I'm eating a fucking chocolate chip cookie and uh that's what it is and, um, if you have misophonia, I always say this, it should probably be a good time to tune out.

Dude, there's nothing worse than someone being in the same room as you when you're eating, who's, like, annoyed that you're chewing, like, I grew up with a sibling like that, and it was just like, come on, dude, grow up, everybody eats, everybody chews. yeah i don't like the misophonia misophonia thing but i also hate the fact that or i don't understand when people like the sound of chewing like these mukbangs or whatever these asmr eating channels on like youtube what's that okay what is that what part of the brain what like how is that satisfying or because it's at that at that point when it's really when the sound is really amped up and you hear all the little

that's too far that's too much I just like normal eating just like chew that's fine that's fine with me we don't need to increase the volume we don't need to hear all the little saliva juices moving around. I love podcasting. Okay. Next question. Q&A. We're doing a Q&A. I haven't done one of and I don't know, like months. What is your biggest phobia? Okay. I premeditated this answer. I'm looking at the answer on my phone notes right now. My biggest phobia is overly nice people. Like they're compensating for something and it comes across really fake to me and really manipulative. And I feel like if you know what I'm talking about you know what I'm talking about like when people are overly nice and it's a pitch in there

it's like the tone of their voice there's a pitch change that happens when they talk to you that just makes yeah that's my phobia I don't trust it and yeah I feel like those people are like being nice is that's a great thing right but it's the overly nice stuff the overly smiley overly like or um yeah I don't trust that I've had bad experience maybe it's because I've had bad experiences with people that are oh they come across like overly bubbly and nice and like they're like the biggest backstabbers in the world and biggest like assholes um yeah I don't I don't like overly nice people uh I'm phobic of what else drives me nuts I mean I have the spider thing like it freaks like I get that little oh my

god like if you when you like when you see a spider like I could just do the motion right now it's like like the hair on the back of your neck just like I'm having a seizure like it looks like I'm having a seizure right now like that's the kind of reaction I have when I see a spider so definitely arachnophobic holy shit wasn't I wasn't preparing on putting on that kind of performance for you guys today but um I got I got a thought so this is kind of like a bad this is this is gonna make me look bad probably but I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest right now and tell a story of I have an overly nice bitch move thing that I do okay um I don't know if it's overly nice, but it's fake as fuck. And here's what, here's what happens. I recall, I'm recalling

a time in college when I would be at the bars with my friends and we'd be in the bathroom. And of course you meet the best people, like you make girlfriends in the bathroom, right? Like that's a thing when you're drunk and you're in a bar, like it's a, it's a great time to be a girl in that, in, in that, in that environment. But, um, one little bitch tactic I do or bitch move I do, or I've done, I haven't done this in a very long time, but, um, is when I get those eyes, those like condescending, judgmental, like bitchy eyes from someone, like I was in a bathroom and back at WSU one time and I think I I think this girl like I knew she she liked my the guy was dating that type of thing and like she knew of me but I didn't really know her

I just remember being in the bathroom with her and um she pulled a like fake nice move on me and was complimenting my outfit or something I think she was like or no no no no no I think she complimented what did she compliment yeah I think it was my outfit I think she was just like oh my god I really love your dress or like I really like that like you know I look I felt like I look nice or whatever so my bitch thing I did and I've done this a few times this is probably me back when I was younger and more immature is I love dirty white tennis shoes in these moments because I compliment like I remember she was wearing like converse that were just no dirty converse is a vibe actually so this would be a compliment in a way but I think

they were just like whatever like white tennis shoes probably adidas or something and they were full of dirt and they look like shit so I was just I like stare at people's shoes and I that are dirty and like that look bad and I'm like oh my god I really love your shoes oh my god your shoes look so good, that's me being a little shister, a little shithead, but, yeah, I don't like when people fake, like, you know, girl-to-girl compliments that are fake, like, that's, I pick up on that energy instantly, and I'm not about it, like, I cannot stand that, like, I just want people to fucking relax, you know what, if you're overly nice, relax, take it down, I need to relax right now I'm drinking way too you guys broken record coffee consumption is way too high right

now but like if you're overly nice relax before you make those comments those fake nice compliments and comments pause relax don't do it just if it's not genuine don't do it okay be genuine relax all right did anyone just unsubscribe after my story about complimenting dirty shoes I'd like to know who's like this who's like Jacqueline sucks she's a terrible person who thinks that right now because uh I mean I'm being honest like I've I've done that a few times but yeah anyways um what was that last question what was your biggest phobia yeah okay um this person asked two questions they asked me what's your biggest turn on and then what's your biggest turn what are your biggest turnoffs so

turn-ons okay physically I'm turned on to height and shoulders like wide broad shoulders and like stature like being tall um I am I have no shame when I say this but I definitely have a type and i and i have a height requirement who's also unsubscribing i mean if you look at the guys i've dated it's like a it's a pattern okay whatever i don't care you know what plenty of fish in the sea all right i like what i like um also turn on like feeling protected and taken care of feeling safe when i'm around them and just like like I don't have to worry ever like oh if we're in a if shit hits the fan like I know

that they're going to protect me I know that they're going to make me feel like I'm going to be okay like that's super that's probably like top three for me out of like what turns me on or like what I'm looking for in a partner um gentleness being like a gentle giant and kind loving and in tune with their like your emotions and communicative in that way where you tell me how you tell me about all your feelings like that's important to me that turns me on like a man who's in tune with their emotions and is able to express them um big one everybody clap your hands

their words match their actions their words match their actions okay that shit has to line up what they say they say they what what they say is what they do so important big turn on all right turn offs I need a fork turn offs. I need a fork. You're like, what the fuck? Okay. Go on YouTube or Spotify to watch what I'm doing right now. I'm going to grab a makeup brush. Kind of need a medium size one. Okay. So this is my Mac

stippling brush. Number one 30. I think my aunt gave me this in sixth grade and I still have it. so one of my biggest turnoffs in a man, um, is when they hold their utensils, like a fork or a spoon, like a shovel. Okay. So like they're eating a bowl of pasta and they're, they're holding it, go on YouTube or Spotify to watch the motion. They're eating it. They're like, they're holding it like a shovel. Okay. Like this. They're not like, you know, like proper like that they're like hold like fisting the end of the fork or the spoon and they're digging the food okay that's only acceptable if the ice cream pint is really hard and they're really trying to work it and dig it to like get the stuff out like that's okay um actually that's

a red that's kind of a turn off to me because a man who knows his ice cream pints knows you got to let that shit um temper is that the word on the counter for like 20 to 30 minutes to make it um so so that time allows it to become the texture um god that also shows some some self-restraint self-discipline if you can like come home from the grocery store and let that pint of ice cream sit for a good uh 20 minutes that's kind of hot yeah yeah so anyways the way you hold your utensils that shit turns me off I was on a date with a guy one time and I think we went to Cheesecake Factory and I was like I can't look past this like you're eating cheesecake like you're shovel like you just

need to take the side of a fork and just graze the cheesecake no no no it was like shovel, shovel, shovel. God, it's so out of control. Okay. Other turnoffs. Um, I mean, there's, these are all cliche probably, but like selfishness, like, and not being able to sacrifice and compromise. Like that's the thing about a relationship. It's all about that give and take. Okay. Like I can think of a time recently where I needed something my partner needed something and like one time I honored what they needed and then the next time they honored what I needed and it's like you gotta you gotta do that you got you can't just think about yourself like you have to sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want in the moment

like what you need and your priorities for the other person and like that if you can't do that turn off I'm out um also like being indecisive that's another turn off because I want a man to take the lead, I want a man to call the shots, I want a man to decide, like, this is where we're going, this is what we're doing, boom, boom, if you don't, if you're indecisive, you're like, I don't know, like, even in, like, your life, like, I need a man to know what the fuck he wants, and if you don't know that, don't be dating me, okay, they don't date me, because I don't, I pick up on that shit early and I yeah like you literally like need to have your life together or else it's like what's the point of bringing someone else in the equation if you're not if your ship isn't

if the sails aren't working on the sail ship okay the sailboat wait wait a minute let me reflect do I have my shit together am I like am I qualified to be in a relationship right now like i'd like to think so like you know what i think all of my i said this i think last episode like all of my buckets there's a couple that are a little bit shitty right now like my social buckets a little empty but like all of my buckets are pretty full and like all the me and all of the like all of the main pillars of my life are holding up the fucking building they're holding me up okay they're they're they're built okay

I've laid those bricks I put the layers on the cake I'm stacking my my life has been stacking up through my 20s and I'm at this point now where it's like I got my shit together it takes work it takes time okay I should not have taken a bite of that am I tacky like I kind of hate my outfit today okay next question like this whole episode I'm seeing in the viewfinder here I had one piece of hair in the

front of my like on like to the front and I feel like if I watch this back I'm gonna hate how that looks but okay um next question do you ever get sick of social media this is where I'm at okay like straight up it gets me so hyped like it gets me so hyped and so annoyed within seconds like I'll be I'll be like in the morning I make my little espresso shot I'm drinking it drinking my water I'm getting like a whole thing of water I'm getting like two of these jars of water in drink my espresso I'm about to walk my dog and that moment of like when the caffeine hits that moment if you catch me on social media when that caffeine when the caffeine hits the veins in the morning at like 6 a.m that's when I love social media okay that's

when I'm hyped that's when I'm inspired that's why I'm on that's when I'm on profiles and I'm like saving shit like you inspire me that's what I want my aesthetic to be I want to make a post like that that person's cool like I'm into what they're doing that quote's awesome I fucking love that advice right there that person's given I'm into this story like oh I'm like liking everything I see that's when I love social media okay that's when I'm hyped right but they don't like fucking 4 p.m the same day my screen time's at like three fucking hours am I swearing too much on this episode that's when I want to throw this shit against the wall so it ebbs and flows I I'm it's a necessary evil. Is that the word? Like when you're

an internet person, like you kind of have to be on the internet. You kind of have to be plugged in a social media that you have to be. That's the only way. And to stay relevant, to keep yourself going. Right. And it's a, it's part of the job. So, um, I actually enjoy it. Like recently I've been enjoying making TikToks I've been doing my makeup on TikTok go check it out the Jacqueline Monroe I have the so my show's pod or my show's TikTok the Jacqueline Monroe show TikTok is full of clips of my podcast and also clips of me doing makeup which I don't know if I'm messing up the brand there. I don't know if I'm confusing the, my audience, but, um, like low key, I got like low key. Okay. That's so 2019. So my demo, my, uh, audience is, I think it's 83 male

or 81% male. Would it be 19% female? Like I'm trying to gather more female, uh, a higher, I'm trying to rope in the women to my show so I'm like well maybe if I start doing makeup tiktoks and I and I show my podcast clips at the same time like it'll and like more girls will follow the show and watch the show so whatever um but yeah recently like I'm into I'm into social media like I'm having a good I'm having a good time with it but yeah I have moments of like I just want to be off this for a month or for a week and I just can't that's why I unfollow so many people like I don't like to blindly mindlessly look at stuff I'm trying to be more I've I strive it's not perfect but I strive to be intentional with what I'm watching what I'm looking at

and a big one for me this year is anyone who's bitching about coronavirus ranting posting stuff from the news all the time or like like these really like right wing uh or super left wing instagram accounts that i come across that are flapping their gums about yeah coronavirus and everything it's like i just decided like i gotta it's not healthy to like keep up with that stuff all the time. Like I'm not sucked. I'm choosing to be, um, yeah, to like let other people freak out and do their thing and pay attention to that. But I just really like, I mean, what, this is going to be the third year going into this pandemic. Like I decided I got to unfollow and stop watching that stuff. Cause it's just not, it's not serving me. It's not helping me. It just

makes me go insane. So, um, yeah. So yeah. Um, what was the question? Do you ever get sick of social media? Absolutely. Depends. I don't feel good right now. I think I shouldn't have eaten this cookie and also drank so much coffee. Woo. Diabetes. I feel, I feel pre-diabetic, pre-diabetic right now. And I shouldn't joke about that. It's not going to, someone's going to be offended by that. Okay. Next question. How do you stay motivated? How do I stay motivated? YOLO. YOLO Y-O-L-O you only live once that motivates me like just knowing that I got one shot in this life that's it that's that gets me out of bed out of bed every morning that makes me want to do things that makes me want to like send it every single day um

like i don't know guys i really don't feel good i'm like swallowing like shit that cook dude this cookie was jacked up with some sort of like this is a chemical this was a um gas station cookie throwing it in my fridge go to youtube or spotify to watch that had like guys this is tmi i should edit edit this out that had some um um, what kind of chemicals would they put in? Like preservatives, right? Like something to stabilize the, or preserve, like, like that will last without being, um, eaten. Like that cookie would have lasted for like six years, that kind of thing. You know what I mean? But yeah, what motivates me? You only live once. YOLO. Like you got one life, um, make the most out of it. You

gotta do shit every day that makes you happy and um makes you feel good and I like having fun like is this like motivation advice I don't really know what keeps me motivated because I don't really like put myself I guess I have like yes I have goals future goals I guess that motivates me but I guess you know what a different way for me to say this or talk about it is like I like building and creating and evolving and refining and like getting better as a person every day and so like I like to focus on like one percent better every day and like like having consecutive good days and if I have a bad day I don't like to have more than like two

bad days in a row like that's kind of my rule I have like a 48 hour rule like if I have a bad if I'm down for two days and I and everything goes to hell in my life like it doesn't go past two days I snap back quickly I recover quickly that's what my mom always says like you got to recover quickly you know that's what the best of the best people are able to put their boots back on get back to the grind like get back to their um the swing of things like without but I wasn't able to do that see it's not it's not always like this because I was actually clinically depressed and in a bad place for like multiple months a couple years ago so easier said than done it takes a lot of um it takes a really strong mind I guess you just gotta want it okay I want it I'm in it for

the like here's the thing it's like what motivates me um in terms of this podcast and my show I'll be honest like seeing myself at 40 and like I've been and what how many years would I have podcasted then like and like yeah being 40 and having a show a podcast that has been on for 15 years that that's that motivates me just like like thinking of how cool that will be in the future like does that make sense that makes me excited like someday I'll look back and I've been at this shit for 15 years I'm on year three right now like oh um so yeah okay cool is money a motivation for me absolutely I didn't even mention that dude just like having like financial freedom like thinking about how that how that will feel when I get it someday like that fucking motivates me

that gets me off my ass every day um forgot to mention that I'm motivated by money I'm a materialistic bitch all right it's not even materialistic dude money just gives you it it's a comfort right and freedom that's what I'm looking for all right more of that this is so random so I don't even know why I even wrote I don't know why I wrote this question down because it doesn't make any sense someone asked me if I need a hand need a hand sure you want to come fucking clean my does someone want to come yes I need a hand I need a hand on the 9082 shower tiles in my shower right now I need a hand on all of the grout I need a scrubbing hand on on the grout

on the 9082 shower tiles I have in my shower right now that like I hate I hate scrubbing my shower tiles there's they're little there's so many little nooks and crannies you have to get to and it takes me forever and I would love if someone came over and scrub my shower. So yes, I need a hand in that way. Um, I don't feel good. Fuck. Push through, be a pro. Pros wouldn't even tell them, pros, professional podcast hosts, Jacqueline wouldn't even talk about how they don't feel good. They would just like fake it. I feel great. Nothing's wrong. Um, favorite song RN. My favorite song RN right now is okay, someone played this on New Year's, on their story or something, and I was like, yes,

that is it, that's the song of the year, 22 by Taylor Swift, go play it, put that, put that song on in the morning, it's just, like, it's, wait, how does, how does the, how do the lyrics go, well, it's, like, hey, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22, it's 2022, okay, 2022 get it okay but like that song I had I haven't heard it in a while so when I saw it on there on the person's story on New Year's I was like yes um but I'm listening oh my sister's facetiming me yeah you always call me when I'm podcasting huh I think it's your hat what are you doing

nice I have so much makeup on right now well it's because I'm on camera so it looks more snatched even though like you can't like up close it's crazy but um dude I feel like shit today fyi but I'm in podcast mode so I'm psycho right now so that's kind of why I'm like so all right I'll call you guys later all right bye I'm pretty sure my sisters called me every single episode for the last four episodes like during my recording session like it always happens for some reason um anyways um next question is have you ever broken up with someone you thought was the one um I mean at the time of the breakups when I was younger it probably felt that way but looking back now like um

yeah I think um yeah when I really think about my past boyfriends and my relationships like those were all warm-ups for what I have now or those were all like I don't want to say anything but like it's incredible I just got to say this I always heard I don't know why I'm talking about my relationship but like I always heard people say like that that that person will come into your life when you're not even looking or whatever like it'll happen by surprise you'll you won't even realize what you're looking for whatever and

then it'll just, like, walk in the door and be incredible and be, like, everything you've ever dreamed of, and, like, I always hear people talk about that, and it's, like, yeah, I don't know if this is an overshare or whatever, but, or me being, like, too, um, open, or, like, if I'm, I don't know if I should, I don't know why I'm being, I should, sometimes I'm, like, I should be more reserved about this but like I yeah I pinch myself often and I really go wow like I didn't know how good you could have it in a relationship until I found the person I'm with now like I really didn't it's just like it's it's wild how you can like go from a past dating experience of

Like, super high highs, super low lows. Like, a lot of toxicity and games and manipulation and cheating and, like, all that kind of stuff. Like, you can go from that to, like, a beautiful masterpiece of a person in a relationship. So, anyways, okay. I don't know if I overshared but yeah whatever um I always say like I want to keep my personal life private and it's just so hard when I have my own show and I talk about my life like it comes out um next question what is your favorite memory okay I'm just gonna keep this short and sweet

Christmas morning when you're a kid when you find the presents from Santa when you get up when you get up out of your bed at like five in the morning like way too early and you walk downstairs and you go into the living room and you see what Santa gave you like that feeling in your body can't be replicated that can never be replicated by any other experience in this life that's my favorite memory short and sweet Christmas morning finding finding presents from Santa um next question oh this is sweet it's not a question they said you make me love myself more thank you wow um

Yeah, I guess something I'm doing is making them love themselves more. And I feel like that's my intention. Like, if I can, like, I just want to be, I want to be a source of light and entertainment and fun and whatever, inspiration. um on the internet for you listening right now like I want to be I want to yeah impact people in a positive way and this person said that I'm making them love themselves more so that's the point that's what I'm here for like I know what it's like to listen to a podcast follow someone on social media watch a youtuber and get real just and feel like and and watch them live their lives and watch them talk and watch or listen to them talk

and and it it's like it it makes you feel good it makes you like seeing them talk through their experiences and seeing them go through their life um and and I've watched people for decades like on YouTube I've seen people go from like college to marriage and babies and it's it's wild and I've seen their life ups and downs and struggles. And I think that's, um, that, that helps me. Like I always, I always take something away from that. And I, um, I, you know what, it's all about like feeling like you can relate to someone, right. And you're not alone. And I want to, again, I want to be that for you listening. Um, cause I'm not, I'm, I'm me. Okay. I'm the only Jacqueline, Jacqueline Monroe, like, I know that, um, there's no one else like me, I know that I'm unique in

that way, but I'm not special, okay, like, I'm just like everyone else, um, I was born in this world the same as you, listening, like, um, I have my own, like, I struggle with life too, I, um, I have all the lows, and I experience the same emotion, everyone experiences the same emotions, I experience the same emotions that you do, and yeah, I'm here to share my, yeah, uniqueness, myself, my authentic self, or whatever, but I'm just like you, okay, that's my point, but yeah, what else could I say about that, this person said you make me love myself more, thank you like I didn't know you know what that's the thing is I didn't always love myself I used to be a little insecure wilted flower okay that was so worried about what other people thought about

me I was so judgmental of myself and especially my personality and how I came across to my peers and my friends and family. Like I was so worried to express myself and to just say what I want to say and be me a hundred percent. And that, that was my existence for like most of my teens and early twenties. Okay. So what I intend to do with my podcast and the show and my social media is like by me letting my hair down and being vulnerable and raw and authentic and just myself a hundred percent like okay that's what we all strive to do right or that's the I don't know if we all strive for that but like that's what I do here okay by me doing that and just yeah like it's all about like letting your hair down letting your freak freak flat I

let my free flag fly I say it like it is okay all those things by me doing that I hope someone I might I intend to um make other people feel like they can do that too and that that's okay because that's the hurdle like being able to do this and feel confident and and secure doing it was the hurdle I had to cross with myself that was like the thing I needed to unlock in my life because before that I was in fear of doing ever doing something like this I was so worried that it would that it would come across like stupid or I would look bad or I would say something wrong or I would embarrass myself and I want everyone to experience that I want everyone to cross that hurdle with themselves I want everyone else out there listening to you

right now to, like, if you're not, if you're not that, like, if you're struggling, if you're that little wilted flower, and if you're feeling, um, like, you can't, if you, what's the word, it's like, is it insecurity, or is it, um, dude, it's all about worrying about, okay, you know what, I want to inspire people to stop worrying about shit that doesn't matter because literally nothing does nothing matters like little shit that people worry about doesn't matter and I got to the point where I think I struggled for so long yeah worrying about little things that don't matter where I cracked and now I don't give a fuck about anything and I can't take anything seriously like it's really hard for me to take most things in life seriously and that's what I do a lot here

on the show I poke fun at life I poke fun at the wild world world we live in right now and I guess that's what puts me at ease and makes me super relaxed and comfortable in my own skin is just that perspective and knowing that um in the grand scheme of things nothing those little things don't matter and nobody gives a fuck like nobody cares about all the stuff you worry about so I want everyone to unlock that little key because in my experience and I can only speak on my experience that's been the thing in my 20s that has improved my life the most um so yeah I don't know what else to say about that um let your fucking excuse me let your freak flag fly let your freak flag fly okay

who gives a shit um dude just like look at yourself in the mirror every day and just hype yourself up okay like sometimes I do that like well not really anymore but when I was in my lowest lowest of lows like I would just I would I used to talk to myself as it is like I talk to myself now on my own show on my own podcast alone but when I was really going through it I would do car therapy sessions and shower therapy where I would literally just talk out I state what's wrong like what am I struggling with what is going on that I that's negative and then I would go okay how am I going to get through this and then I would coach myself like you know okay Jacqueline this sucks I hate

this about my life right now blah blah okay what am I gonna do right now today to feel better or to get through this and I would just talk it out so yeah talk to yourself in the mirror hype yourself up um quit fucking excuse me I don't know if this is this is like self-help right now but stop keeping up with other people's lives on social media like quit following other people's narratives and storylines of their and of their and other people's lives all the time if you're feeling like shit about yourself if you're feeling bad like I think it's I do it's like a broken record but I think it's um like when you see people live living these little ideal lives on their

perfect little social media like that's so bad for us like just stop fault like literally stop following people that make you feel inadequate or less than or like your life sucks like i honestly like i follow people if i notice someone is posting in a super like aesthetic like perfect like lemon water in the morning meditation now i'm going to yoga like now I'm going my perfect little hot girl walk and now I'm going to and I'm just like doing this perfect little life like anything like that unfollow like I don't fuck with anything like that anymore because it isn't um it makes me itch first of all it's just like overdone it's not interesting to me but like the typical cookie cutter influencer

perfect little aesthetic life stuff I just I stopped I don't follow I don't watch because it made me feel bad um is it because I wanted that for myself and I wish I had a perfect life like that maybe I don't know what what that is is it I think it's just because it life isn't that perfect okay like that's what because like I just it's not it's all fake like that's the thing it's all fake it's all curated to look and come across perfect in that way, so my advice, my life advice, or whatever, is just ask your following who you follow, like, quit, just knock that shit out, your brain is, it doesn't, it's not designed to keep up with that many people, especially people you don't know,

and their life stories, like, isn't that a little weird to think about, like, why do we, I know people listening, you guys probably follow my Instagram, and dude, do I come across like that fuck I know I kind of post like influencer-y and aesthetic-y I mean shit am I am I a fake bitch on social media dude that's the thing about my podcast is I bridge so here's the thing here's another reason I podcast is this becoming a long-winded tangent kind of but let me get into it my Instagram is like a bunch of little pixels little individual dots of who I am right like when you see like a still image and it's like me and a picture that I post it's like That's just one little pixel on a screen.

And so what my podcast does is it bridges that gap and it connects all those dots and those pixels between how I come across on Instagram and my social media and who I am in real life. Because this is a long form stream of consciousness, unedited version of me. And I feel like as long as I have this going on, okay? And, and you guys can get to know me this way. Um, I feel better about posting my like cute little pictures and shit because I know that's not all I'm giving. I know that's not all I'm serving on social media. It's like, no, there's literally over 300 hours of me just talking and hanging out with you that's available at any time. So that's why I love podcasting is I feel less um icky about maybe posting an aesthetic photo or whatever um because you know at the end

of the day I do love being a girl I love be putting on makeup and taking selfies and you know taking a self like taking a mirror selfie putting on a cute outfit taking a picture like it's fun okay I'm not gonna but dude if I if I if that pisses you off that makes you feel bad um when you follow me like just it's available at any moment that unfollow unfollow button or mute just don't don't watch um I get that I've done that to so many people I follow like I mute so many I only I think right now I have I think like 15 stories maybe less than that 10 stories I watch everyone else is muted so anyways um follow yourself tune into yourself listen to your intuition you have all the answers stop looking for advice on the internet and inspiration

all the time like you know what to do if you have a goal out there if you're feeling like shit you need to get out of the dumps like stop watching motivational shit on Instagram like you know what to do innately like if you really listen to your intuition it's there everybody knows what to do you're if you're an adult you've been through life long enough like you've proven it to yourself before I'm sure you've been in a funk before and you've gotten through it and so if you've if you've proved it once to yourself that you can get out of a hole you can do it again and just tune into that and repeat it um so yeah fuck Instagram fuck social media do you guys know what I'm talking about though like aesthetic like like it's too

perfect everybody's everybody's shit looks the same too it's like but I have to I have to give credit where credit's due uh these uh blogger instagram influencers I'm talking about like the girly stuff that's out there that I that I've seen that does make me feel icky and itchy and like god life is not that perfect like I gotta give credit where credit's do like that's they're fucking they're working hard and it takes effort to do it to make those posts and to create that beautiful look and edit those photos and you know and that's their job and that's how they get paid so I can't shit on that um but if if that stuff makes you feel bad stop following it stop watching it stop looking at it okay we're so off the Q&A right now um

okay let's do another question what was it like going to catholic school so i'm a catholic school girl a former catholic school girl um catholic school was its own it was just it was its own very it was catholic school i have a hair in my mouth that's not my hair. First of all, this is a blonde, curly, long hair. Can you see that on camera? Jimmy's hair is not that long. What's this? That's very suspicious. I'm also wearing this hoodie I haven't worn since I was blonde. So maybe that's it's coming from it um okay catholic school was its own wholesome little universe

that i existed in at one point in my life that to me yeah when i look back in a time capsule like that was it was like a little world i existed in i went to this catholic school on a little brick one-story building we had a beautiful gymnasium that uh we went to church in a lot um we did p we had i went to pe in that gymnasium um there were classrooms in that gymnasium trying to think of like what was it like going to catholic school um yeah very wholesome um a lot of shame was in green and yeah a lot of shame was put on and poured on heavy in catholic school um about like um

mostly like sex before marriage like and like being um celibate like if you yeah like they really shamed you for being a hoe there um if you like it's funny how like every I swear every class like once kids graduated out of eighth grade the classes excuse me once eighth graders would graduate and go into high school there was always a story from like each class of a girl who got knocked up in high school um that's like a catholic the catholic school thing um a catholic school thing in my well in my town it was um yeah it was its own little universe very wholesome we went to church a lot we read I knew everything about religion and it was like a course we took um I wore a uniform like okay speaking of shame like if I wore

the tiniest bit of mascara it was like a no-no or nail polish like I couldn't wear nail polish or um if my skirt was a little too short past it was higher than my fingertips I'd have to go the principal's office um like that kind of stuff just made you feel like shit so I remember though so in eighth grade my teacher Mrs. Olson would um every morning when the bell rang before class we'd all line up on the the playground and we like when you got to school in the morning before the bell rang because you get there like 15 minutes early or whatever, you would line your backpacks up on your class's line. Like you're like the eighth graders would have their line, the seventh graders, sixth

graders, fifth graders, and like elementary kids. Like they were all back on the other side of the playground and they had lines of backpacks. So yeah, you put your backpack down, you go play basketball or something. And yeah, every morning my teacher, Mrs. Olson. So we, the bell red ring, we grab our backpack, stand in line, straight line. And she would shake our hands individually and tell us good morning and she would look look us deep in the eyes and say good morning and if she noticed you wearing makeup she would like okay she would let it pass while she shook her hand but then in in the classroom once you sat down she would like tap your shoulder and make you go wash it off so what I thought would be sneaky or like a good idea in

eighth grade was starting the year off with a little mascara a little powder a little concealer and so she always saw me in that way and she couldn't tell that I was wearing makeup and I got away with it most of the time I think all of us girls kind of ended up wearing mascara with no issues with her eventually but nail polish hell no um I think bra straps were an issue too oh untucked shirts was probably the worst offense in Catholic school like we had these crew neck sweatshirts we had to wear um you could wear sweaters sweater vests like all kinds of stuff but most most of the cool kids wear the crew neck and um yeah if your white polo was like untucked and it was showing like that was the worst thing you could do in catholic school

like it was always tuck your shirt in tuck your shirt and tuck your shirt in um god i even remember being told like when i feel like i did this the whole time i was in Catholic school, like, we'd always, like, sit with our hands crossed on our desks, like, just, like, and pay attention, like, and look up at the teacher. Yeah, so it was a time, it was a, you know, it was, it was a wild time. It was, what did I say? It was, it was its own wholesome little universe. I had fun. I feel like it was a great, no, like, educationally, like, I feel like it would, it put me I don't know if it put me ahead um but I feel like I got a good education and I was

in smaller classes and I had really good teachers and I just felt really cared for and like they were really good everyone was just so nice and like it's like it was like a family at the end of my eight or eight years there I just felt like I was part of this big family um because I had been there since kindergarten so um all right i think i'm done with the q a oh last question what happened to your youtube vlogs yeah so that shit's on patreon now patreon patreon.com slash tjms to watch my vlogs okay um I used to do I peppered in some vlogs on my YouTube at one point just like here and there um and then I turned to podcasting so now my YouTube channel is just podcasts just podcasts

um videos but yeah I feel like my Patreon is now the vlog channel it's now the extra bonus content like behind the scenes look at my life channel so again it's patreon.com slash tjms if you want to sign up to become a patron not if go sign up do it um i'll follow you on instagram so send me a dm if you became paid why does this sound so cheesy like i gotta own it dude if i don't believe in what I'm selling. No one's going to buy it. So $5 a month, $5 a month on Patreon. Send me a DM if you signed up. Um, also let me know if you want to shout out because I might start doing those again. If it's, if enough people tell me they want to shout out on the end of the episodes, I'll do it um so yeah uh again patreon.com slash tjms I think that's it guys um

guys we didn't talk about current events today we didn't talk about what I'm doing in my life current what current events are happening in my life right now other than I'm going through some shit and what did I say in the beginning I think I was like yeah I know I said it was a puffy day I was like guys it's a puffy day I'm going through some shit my mom sent me some sympathy money from or for for uh to post my to post make myself some food and I ordered myself a fucking burrito and ice cream and it's a puffy day and I'm going through some shit do you ever do that like you know what I'm like one break fucking I don't do the drive-thru anymore but I remember in like like when I used to go to community college

I had a lot of I had a lot of breakdowns where I was like I was yeah I was like one I would like I just I would like go to the drive I would like go through the drive-thru a lot to like relieve my stress I would stress I would like stress eat uh junk or not junk food uh fast food to cope does anyone else relate to like because sometimes you're having a breakdown you just you you just need a 20 piece chicken chicken mcnugget and uh sweet and sour sauce okay and a large fry sometimes that's all that's sometimes that's what does it that's what gets you through it and um i don't know if that last night was

that kind of a breakdown i mean i would eat a burrito on any other night of the week honestly like i feel like lucha libre and me have a tight bond now or they know of me the owners because I think I get it probably like three times a month. So it was like business as usual, just another day in the week. But, um, when my mom sends me sympathy money, when she knows I'm going through it, uh, of course I'm going to order my, my burrito and I'm going to chill and, yeah um what was I gonna say did I ever have a Krispy Kreme break breakdown I think I used to have yeah I had a okay I think my worst breakdown was when I went to I went through Krispy the Krispy Kreme drive-thru after my retail job like after I got off my shift

like midday I just got a dozen uh I'm pretty sure I fucking went through the Krispy Kreme drive-thru and got uh 12 glazed donuts but you see you get through like two of those and it's already too much like those are that's not something you can just like eat all up like maybe you can I I definitely felt like shit like you're like I'm like driving grabbing the fucking donuts and the sat on the side in the passenger seat and I'm just like this is rock bottom dude I gotta stop um and those don't taste good if they're like a day old or two days old or you gotta have them fresh um why am I saying this why am I revealing all my uh dirty little

uh depressive secrets of my life what's like some dark shit I've done I'm like oh well I've gone through the Krispy Kreme drive-thru when I was uh feeling like shit one time um yeah or I'd have like some grocery store runs or I'd just say fuck it and I'd buy like a frozen pizza pint of ice cream bag of chips a couple candy bars like you know that kind of thing and I just say fuck it and then you just feel so shitty after once you like sit and eat all that you're like it's uh what's that called is that a is that an eating disorder guys I've been diagnosed like multiple times like with like everything I'm a girl okay it's like what one in three women have an eating disorder and I'm pretty sure three out of three women have

some sort of fucked up issue with um or fucked up relationship with food so um dude I'm just like you if you're listening you relate to that um my sister though like my sister and I when we're together sometimes it's like we'll do that grocery store run and it's just like a day it's just like nothing we don't even flinch it's just like this what we do we're having a we're eating a lot of shit tonight we're gonna junk it up we're gonna junk our bodies up for fun and sometimes you have to though sometimes you need that um you can't eat kale every day all day all day every day you know I'm trying to think of anything else unfinished biz

I think that's it I was going to say something earlier I can't remember okay that's it sorry awkward pause I'm really I get really attached when I'm at the end of the episode where I'm like, I don't want to end it. Oh, so I have a new goal

with my apartment. This is, this is an Amazon thing that I just got delivered. So who cares? Why am I mentioning this? I'm going to say it anyways. Um, like I'm, I just became, so Jimmy's a year old and just yesterday I got a paw cleaner so every time we go on a walk he comes inside and I dip his paws in this little thing with warm soapy water and we clean his paws so just yesterday I became OCD about having a clean fucking floor in my apartment at all times and clean paws at all times and that's my new goal right now is to like never see a paw print a muddy paw print on my white floor like I'm just so I'm like Jacqueline you're a sophisticated young woman living in a cute beautiful little apartment in San Diego with a beautiful dog

you don't you're not you don't you don't you girls like you don't live in a pig pen with muddy floors muddy paw prints everywhere like girls no you're not that kind of woman like you are a clean polished woman you deserve better than that for yourself and so I'm I'm now like OCD about cleaning his paws because sometimes I let guys he'd come in the house and I just like let it slide I'd be like oh I'll just like clean the floor at night and just take care of it and it's not healthy it's not good for it's just not good because I would never I never walk around barefoot like I'm always in slippers or something but um like yeah guys I don't know why I'm extending this Q&A so long, I need to go, okay, episode 304, coming to a close, this is my Q&A

episode, I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for asking questions, make sure to DM me if you become a patron, five dollars a month, no such thing as a free lunch, learned that in economics in 11th upgrade no such thing as a free lunch five dollars a month got to pay to play um yeah let me know if you become a patron and I hope you have a great day night whenever you're listening to this um and yeah just like thank you for being here it means a lot to me that you took the time to hang out, and if you made it this far, that's cool, so yeah, hope you have a great, I'm so awkward, I don't know how to end these things, I'm 304 episodes in, I don't know how to end my own show, actually, I'll end it how I always end it, I hope you're happy, I hope you're healthy, I hope

you're fulfilled in your life and your career and I hope you have I hope things are good with your family and their health and yeah I just hope you're doing well so have a great day and I will talk to you next week okay bye